Original subtitles

[Birds chirping]

[Acoustic guitar playing]

Valeria: Tell me about Madrid.

Oh, Madrid.

Madrid, the cursed city.

♪ Allá donde se cruzan Los caminos ♪

Madrid was everything I had dreamt of.

♪ Donde El mar no se puede concebir... ♪

But above all, Madrid showed me who I was.

But why did you leave marbella?

You found your place there, right?

Yes, my love, but I was young.

- I was on fire... - [Bell ringing]

And I wanted more, to be out there, discover.

Marbella ain't enough for someone like me.

[Car horn honks]

Alfonso's idea was to spend the weekend

and have me come along.

- Madrid and I... - Hello.

Was love at first sight.

Here we are.

Here you go.

Thank you. Whoo!

♪ Las niñas ya no quieren ser princesas ♪

♪ y a Los niños les da por perseguir... ♪

Cristina: As usual, Alfonso and I hit the streets,

and that's how Javier and I met.

Back then, I was horny as hell.

I had to try it all.

♪ Los pájaros visitan al psiquiatra ♪

Javier fell madly in love with me that first night.

♪ Las estrellas se olvidan de salir... ♪

When Alfonso left, Javier asked me to stay with him.

But I was a slut

and couldn't stay with just one.

Get out of here, you fucking cheater!

You're a whore! Get out! Get out. Go.

Luckily, before we split.

Javier got me a job in a hospital's kitchen.

Morning, josefa.

Today I got you some chicken and mashed potatoes.

- Let me... - [Knock at the door]

But the pay was bad.

- Hello. - Tania?

Come in.

♪ Que me lleven al sur donde nací ♪

♪ aquí no queda sitio para nadie ♪

♪ pongamos que hablo de Madrid ♪

I had to work like crazy to make ends meet.

♪ De Madrid... ♪

I was just working and working all the time...

That I almost forgot...

Why I moved to Madrid.

♪ Pongamos que hablo de Madrid ♪

Until one day, she walked in.

[Strings playing]

No matter how lost you feel...

Life always reminds you who you are.

[Doorbell rings]

My god, what's the emergency?

Both: A TV channel called!

Wh-what?

- Yes, a TV channel! - A frickin' TV show!

- [Laughing] - Valeria: What did they say?

They know you're writing the book.

I-I just have to go to Madrid.

- I-I'm having a polygraph test. - Cristina, that's incredible!

They know we're writing your story. Amazing, Cristina.

♪ The joy I felt when they told me ♪

I'm such a fatty. I can't go like this.

Of course you are. And she refuses to eat any vegetables.

You cannot miss out on this amazing opportunity.

- Would you come along? - Seriously?

I can't go with her. I don't have a dog-sitter,

and my back pain's killing me. Impossible.

Do you like Madrid?

- I've never been there. - [Gasps]

You're so naive and provincial.

You're about to go to the Madrid of la veneno.

You're gonna freak out! [Gasps]

All right, just picture this.

La veneno comes back to the TV.

[Shrieks]

Honey, listen to me.

You need to keep an eye on her, baby.

Yes, of course.

She's out of her mind right now.

- Not to worry, paca. - Thank you, my dear.

I cannot believe this is happening.

Easy now, girl.

You'll be fine, Cristina.

You re a shining star, and people want you back.

You've been missed, Cristina.

[Mouth full] Let me tell you something.

Don't you try to outsmart the machine.

It will bust you.

- When have I ever lied, paca? - You're shameless.

You're the one who has no shame here.

- Give me an example! Just one. - I have plenty of examples!

How 'bout the $100 million mansion?

Shut up. Stop fucking around.

- I'm not. - You have no idea.

Hey.

You can't be here.

- Really? - Yeah.

The most beautiful places always have restricted access.

You're right. It's nice.

Madrid...

The cursed city.

Why are you doing here?

[Wind gusting]

Committing suicide.

It was a bad joke.

Want a cigarette?

Well, yeah.

What's your name, dear?

My name is José Antonio,

but they call me joselito.

Cristina.

Cristina onassis.

Cristina? That's pretty.

- [Siren passing] - I named myself.

What do you mean, named yourself?

Honey, anything is possible in this life.

Who's onassis?

You don't know who Cristina onassis was?

No.

Cristina onassis was a rich heiress, a millionaire,

daughter to Aristotle onassis, a Greek man, totally loaded.

She was the entire package,

elegant, famous, and divine.

But a few days after she received her fortune,

she was found dead by a friend in the bathtub.

You bear the name of a dead woman?

I share my name with a star, hon.

Life turned the name into a tragedy.

What a sad story.

It reminds me I'm still alive, José Antonio...

And every day could be the last.

Bye, hon.

Hey, Cristina.

I want to be like you.

Have you got a pen?

Go to the pharmacy on Luna street.

Tell them I sent you.

You'll buy, uh...

Topasel and progynon,

100 milligrams.

And if you need me,

you can always find me in west park.

That's where all the girls are.

And what do you do?

Hustle.

There's no other choice.

Cristina: Check this out.

You're gonna love it.

Come in. Come in.

Just give me a moment.

My house!

[Chuckles] Huh?

Isn't it a palace?

Not like paca's, right?

It's incredible, Cristina.

Not the kitchen, though. It's a mess.

That was the wall that caught fire,

and the insurance paid to fix it up.

Oh! There's that cast.

I made a lot of money with that thing.

Every client I had,

boom, right up their asses.

[Chuckles] That was fun.

Valeria, check this out.

Look at this. Scandalous.

Can we use these pictures for the book?

Of course. You can have any of them you want.

I got plenty.

Look. My parents when they were young.

Who do I look like, huh?

- Like your mother. - No way.

Not my mother. Sh-she's butt-ugly.

I meant my dad. We've got the same eyes.

[Chuckles]

- [Door creaks] - Look at this, Valeria.

I'll get married...

And kill myself.

- [Laughs] - And look at this.

Look. Look.

I've got more dresses than Norma duval.

Please try this on.

What?

For real?

No lie! [Laughs]

How do I look?

Just like me back in the nineties.

Wearing that dress, one night,

I worked so much, my legs were burning.

I made tons of money with it.

That dress now belongs to you.

[Sighs] Cristina, you don't have to.

Yes, I have to,

because you and me are like mother and daughter.

And I had a mother.

She was Cristina onassis.

She gave me this dress.

Now I'm your mother, and I want you to have it.

Maybe in the future,

you'll have a daughter and give it to her,

the dress or my book,

so she knows my story.

[Laughs]

Well, thank you, Cristina.

You look so scandalous.

Isn't it too short?

Not at all, hon.

Sluts on-screen score points.

You might even win a contract for a big position or something.

As a future reporter, you should know all this.

- But, uh... - Plus...

I'm gonna give you a little shot of topasel.

- What? - A hormone from back then.

- Uh, no. - Hold still.

- No! - Come here!

[Pop music playing]

♪ Entre Los paisanos y Los militares ♪

♪ y Los militares ♪

♪ me salen a diario novios a millares ♪

♪ novios a millares ♪

♪ como monigotes vienen tras de mí ♪

♪ y a todos, Los hago que bailen así ♪

♪ cata-catapum ♪

♪ catapum pon candela ♪

♪ alza pa'rriba polichinela ♪

♪ cata-catapum, catapum, catapum ♪

♪ como Los muñecos en El pim, Pam, pum ♪

Morning, Simon. How are you today?

I brought you something really yummy.

You're gonna love it.

What did you do?

Nothing. Just my haircut.

Hey!

[Gasps]

Facundo: Why did you throw the tray?

I told you. He threw the tray.

That old guy can't even move.

He hates me. He doesn't want to see me.

I try to serve him food, and he throws it away.

He looks at me with spite.

He hates my guts. I've told you!

Listen, it's not the first complaint

we've had about your behavior.

What behavior?

Your attitude, José Antonio.

[Chuckles]

The way you dress...

Your behavior...

Are not proper here.

Not even in uniform do you look...

Normal?

Your life is none of my business, but...

This is not your place.

Facundo, I need this job.

I'm sorry, joselito.

I know that you will find a place

that... that lines up with your...

And this has nothing to do with that.

I'm okay with your decision.

[Echoing] I have a cousin that lives in Barcelona

that's just like you, but...

Well, it's funny.

[Fading] 'Cause he also had to change

some aspects of his life...

[Phone line ringing]

Hello.

Maricarmen, put mama on the phone.

Aw, joselito, it's just that...

It's not the best time. Can you tell me what's wrong?

I don't want to talk to you, maricarmen.

I want mama.

Sorry, joselito.

Mama's very busy right now.

She's frying potatoes.

She can't talk to you.

Stop it, maricarmen.

You think I'm stupid?

Joselito.

Just put mama on the phone.

Okay. Just a second.

Mama, it's joselito.

He says he wants to talk to you.

He's on the phone, waiting for you.

See, joselito?

Mama can't talk with you right now.

I'm sorry.

Call again some other time.

[Kicks phone booth]

[Yells]

Joselito?

[Grunting]

Joselito, are you okay?

How about if I come visit you?

I can come to Madrid to see you.

Are you okay?

Joselito!

- [Door opens] - Hello.

- [Door closes] - Welcome back to the show.

- Hi. - And here's your host.

Ladies and gentlemen, how are you tonight?

I suppose several of you are already on holiday,

so let's take a different approach...

Tania, can you do me a favor?

- [Dog barking] - [Siren passing]

Where are you going so dressed up?

- Why do you care? - Not gonna tell me, huh?

Do my makeup, and don't ask.

My god, those lips! Uhh.

That's what I've got, girl.

[Car horn honks]

[Overlapping chatter]

Come on. That's too high. Lower the price.

I don't think so, honey.

If you want this, you gotta pay for it.

Hey, who are you?

[Car horn honks]

Next time I see a fag accepting less than one k,

I'll grab her by the hair,

and I'll beat the shit out of her.

Get her against the car, and break her teeth.

Who the fuck is that?

No idea.

Hi. Cristina.

Oh, you know her?

Ooh! Manola's gonna freak out.

Just a second.

What the hell, girl?

You said I could visit you here if I ever needed you.

True, you can visit, but not like this.

There are rules here.

But, Cristina, they fired me.

They left me with no money.

What the fuck are you doing here?

Do as I say.

- I'm talking to you. - Don't worry.

What's her name?

Go on. Tell them your name.

Tell us.

My name is Tania.

- Tania, she says. - Ooh.

- Tania. - Tania?

You sure your name's Tania?

You look more like Antonio.

Tania...

Will be coming to sell sandwiches

from tomorrow onwards.

This faggot came here to sell us sandwiches?

Aren't you ladies always saying that you're starving?

Until Fran comes back, she'll be feeding us, okay?

Sounds great, love, 'cause we're all about to faint out here.

Since Fran has gone, we don't eat properly.

I want mine stuffed with sausage.

But, please, not yours, though.

[Spits]

- Sandwiches? - Yes.

You need money, don't you?

- Yes. - Go to the supermarket.

You buy, uh, some snacks, soft drinks, and beers

and sell them to the chicks.

They're always starving and eat pretty much like men.

But it's not fair, Cristina.

I just want to be like you.

I'm taking the hormones you told me to.

Oh, hon, I'm no boss here.

That one, manola,

she calls the shots.

And the next time...

Try harder to pass.

Cristina: I said no! I look terrible!

Don't do my makeup!

I just want you to look beautiful.

Put that thing away.

My makeup artist is mariló.

She does my makeup, only her.

- How dare you? - I said no. Please leave.

- Don't touch me! - Let me finish!

But, Cristina, Cristina, Cristina, what happened?

I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna...

- Cristina, what are you saying? - I can't, Valeria.

- My god, calm down. Wait. - I'm too nervous.

- I'm too fat and swollen. - No, you're not!

Listen to me. You look incredible, for real.

Trust me, you look spectacular.

You really mean it?

Do I look pretty?

Pepe: ...Still has a very polemic life.

Beautiful.

Today we've got a big surprise for our audience.

We twisted her arm to convince her to come back,

and we managed to.

Tonight...

The biggest star in Spain,

an icon,

the woman who's beauty has put a spell on Spain.

Perfect.

Look what a goddess.

Give it up for Cristina la veneno!

[Applause]

[Cheering]

- [Music playing] - [Muted cheering]

[Echoing] Veneno.

[Normal] Veneno.

Don't just stand there.

We're waiting on you.

There's the polygraph. [Chuckles]

Give it up for la veneno!

- [Applause] - [Chuckles]

[Show music playing]

- And she looks beautiful tonight. - Looks to me

you took everything in your wardrobe, my dear.

And she's ready.

Cristina la veneno.

A toy destroyed by our Spanish television.

Pot, kettle.

I'm dynamite. How dare you?

Well, veneno, with any luck,

I won't end up being a broken toy like you.

No, no, let's hope you don't end up like that.

Okay, then, let's get started with our polygraph.

Okay. Just focus, Cristina.

I am focused, unlike you.

- Oh, boy. - Excuse me?

[Audience laughs]

Here we go.

Let's get started.

Question number one.

Did you leave your hometown

because they were disrespectful and abused you there?

- Yes. - Good.

Is it true you have always felt that you were a woman?

Yes.

Did you start trading your body for money

because you are transgender and no one would hire you?

[Coin clinks]

Cristina, Cristina,

please, we need you to answer the question.

Exactly. That's correct.

Hey, Fanny.

How's your night going?

Good until you came in with your ugly face.

- But, anyway... - Have a sandwich on me, honey.

Perhaps after taking a big shit,

you feel less constipated.

And you, hon, want one?

They're not expensive.

Oh, kiddo, we don't eat.

We're supermodels.

I've seen you before eating dick like a monster.

Mortadella? Again?

Really? Are you stupid or what?

I already told you I don't eat this.

'Cause mortadella...

Is very cheap and makes me sick,

- just like you. - Tania.

Tania. Tania.

I'm gonna kick your ass, motherfucker.

Oh, my god. You look so beautiful tonight.

Oh, right, you look so fine, honey.

You look like Cindy Crawford tonight.

- So beautiful. - You like it?

You're the bomb. Look at that dress.

She is like a version of Paloma San basilio

- before doing her nose. - Yeah.

As she'd say, coffee for two.

Won't you buy a sandwich?

At this pace, I'm never gonna get tits.

It's bad timing. I can't work after eating.

It's very cheap. Buy one, and bin it, then.

- Come on. - I can't work if I'm full.

- Hold it. I've gotta pee. - Careful with the wolf.

- He might want to eat your muff. - I'm hungry, but I shouldn't.

And you might want to empty my basket, fatty!

I'll have a couple of snacks and two or three beers.

- I'm starving. - Help yourself!

What's in them, anyway?

- [Urinating] - Hey, handsome.

What can I do for you tonight?

Show me, baby.

[Tires squeal]

Stop right there, motherfucker!

Stop the car!

You piece of shit!

I hope you fucking die!

Stop the car! Stop right there!

- [Car horn honking] - Manola: Son of a bitch!

Give me my money! Stop the car, you jerk!

Hey! Let's see if you've got balls to come out!

- Get out, you piece of shit! - Come out now!

- Motherfucker. - Let me go.

You bastard, give her the money!

I'll kill you! Give her the money!

My money, motherfucker!

Manola: What are you doing?

Let him go, you idiot! You're gonna kill him!

[Panting]

What are you doing strangling the clients, girl?

They'll shut our business down.

I'm sorry, manola.

I don't know what got into me.

Some of them might be criminals,

but it doesn't mean we have to be like them.

Are you on hormones?

Yeah, for a couple of months.

And how's the snack business?

It's pretty bad, manola,

not enough for what I want.

What do you want?

To be like the rest of the hotties.

To get totally stacked like you are.

From now on, you can grab the newbies corner.

But listen. The roundabout is only for the prettiest.

You hear me? You don't go there.

You for real, manola?

Yes.

- Seriously? - Yes.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. It's not that easy.

There are rules to comply with, okay?

First rule, don't quit the hormones.

Men in drag don't belong here.

Second, you stick to the established rates, period.

We are all family here.

And third, we never steal.

Don't worry. I don't steal.

I really hope so.

And don't do drugs.

That's just free advice,

- not a rule, though. - Fine.

How big is your package?

Just a small pea, more or less.

Well, you gotta work a little bit more.

You know what men are after.

Whatever it takes, manola.

Then welcome to the park of the west.

Sorry, honey. That's what I charge.

- Take it, or leave it. - Aw, come on.

But I promise I'm worth it.

Jaime cantizano: To the question...

Did you start trading your body for money

because you are transgender and no one would hire you..

Client: No, no. I want the blondie!

- Blondie? - Oh, her?

Listen, that one's yours.

He wants the new girl.

...la veneno's answer was yes.

And the lie detector says that...

It's a lie!

- Gotcha! - Your story's based on a lie.

- Exactly. - Wait. Wh-what did you say?

I didn't get it.

Cristina, you've been lying.

You lied, honey. You're nothing but a liar.

And that's because you liked it, Cristina.

- Of course. - I'm not lying.

Way back then, you... You couldn't find a job

if you were transgender.

Let's move on to the next question.

And this one is a really shameful one for you, veneno.

Is it true that you're broke?

Veneno's answer was a no.

And the lie detector says that...

Cristina...

It says you're lying.

[Laughs] Oh, man, you're so funny.

If I was lying and I'm broke,

then tell me, who bought this dress?

It sure wasn't my mother.

Your mother should come to take this test,

- too, Cristina, right? - Okay, all good.

I'm sure she would be more honest.

Veneno, veneno, please focus.

There's more to come.

To the question, i-is it true

that you actually tore a nipple...

[Audience laughs]

From one of your coworker's breasts

to earn her respect?

- Now it's gonna say no. - Why would it say yes?

You're some kind of Spielberg,

and you think you can just make up a story?

Veneno, your answer was yes.

The polygraph determines...

One more lie.

You 'bout you stick that lie detector up your ass?

- You have quite an imagination. - The horror.

- This is a movie plot here. - We have Tarantino here.

- I cannot believe my ears! - My god.

Nothing was ever true, then!

You're lying through your teeth.

These kinds of topics are very difficult.

Why did you come here to lie?

[Chatter fading]

Jaime: All right.

And now please don't go anywhere,

because we'll return after this commercial break.

[Microphone clatters]

Valeria: Cristina.

Cristina, are you okay?

Please, Cristina. Cristina!

Open the door, okay?

[Panting]

Cristina, are you all right?

Jaime: Let me see that.

God.

Okay, got it.

[Sighs]

How could you do that to her?

I'm sorry. What?

How could you do that to Cristina?

To Cristina? Cristina has a distinct ability to lie.

She's done it her whole life.

That's nothing new.

No need for a polygraph to know that.

Well, you must already know we're writing a book.

Everything she said is true.

And who is the writer? I'm assuming that it's you.

Yes.

We're writing it together.

Okay, listen, darling, this is a TV show.

Cristina is very funny when she gets angry,

and that's all. It's nothing personal, darling.

You don't know her at all.

Good luck with your book, sweetie.

We're back from commercial

- in 5, 4... - [Audience applauding]

Jaime: Here we are again, ladies and gentlemen.

On tonight's show...

Hey! Ugly face, what's up?

The kid here just gave me five grand.

You hear me?

How much did you make tonight, asshole?

Don't you dare look at me!

I don't want to see your butt-ugly face.

- It's always a bad omen. - Fanny, leave her alone.

Fuck off. I'm not gonna leave her alone.

- Fuck off! - Stop that now.

Shut up. Come on.

Asshole!

Doe rabbit?

Doe rabbit.

Girl!

- Paca? - Good god!

What's up?

Paca, oh, my god.

What are you doing here?

Well, since I come here just once in a blue moon,

they've given me this sad spot,

the spot where Saint Joseph

wouldn't even leave his... his handsaw.

Yeah, I know. It's my spot, too.

Look at you. You finally jumped in, right?

Well, yeah, but I'm a little bitter.

What's with all the negativity? What's the matter?

Paca, because the clients

that come to this area are the worst.

They all are ugly, alcoholic, and fat as fuck,

and plus they pay peanuts.

I'll never get my new tits.

Check out these bee stings.

Have you ever seen Fanny's?

These bee stings don't stand a chance!

I want boobies, paca, just like yours.

Okay, I get it. Come on.

Don't worry, girl. We all have to go through this

before we get to where she is, okay?

Do you really think that, one day, she woke up like that?

No, she didn't. But the one thing you can't do

is act like tutankhamen's mummy

and let all these girls crush you.

Are you andalusian or not?

Let it all out, honey. Come on!

You've got those bee stings.

Well, you sell that, too.

Hey, I'm marta Sánchez.

Let me breast-feed you.

I am this. I am that.

Touch the client's Willy just for fun. Market yourself.

I can't believe you're letting her win.

What, she better than you? Hell, no.

She's nothing more than a lucky blonde chick, period.

Oh, forgive me.

I'm a very sinful nun.

Someone wash my sins away, I beg of you.

Stuff me like a Turkey, honey.

- The Nazis are here! - Run!

- The Nazis! - Run away!

Come on! Get over here, you faggot!

- Get out of here! - Come here!

Paca!

I'll cut your balls, fag!

Ah, yeah. [Moans]

[Overlapping chatter]

[Moaning]

Make me like you.

Dress me like a Princess.

I will be your slave.

I want to be your slave.

Come on. Tell me.

I'll do anything. Humiliate me.

I'm hotter than you, you slut.

[Car engine revs]

Hey, beautiful!

- Where you going? - Hello.

Madonna Santa!

Quanto sei Bella!

Mamma Mia! Bellissima.

Speak to me in English.

I'm Angelo from italia.

I'm Tania from the street.

- The street? - Mm-hmm.

I've just fallen in love.

[Chuckles] You in love, hon?

With love or without it, it's 20k, babe.

No, I want a date with you.

Oh, you want a date?

I want a pony, love, but no money, no honey.

Manola: Please, someone help me!

[Crying] Please, somebody help me!

Cristina!

Cristina, please wake up.

Cristina!

Come on!

Please help me!

Stop a car.

- Cristina! - Cristina.

- What's wrong? - Cristina.

- Do something! - Let's go. Get her up.

What happened? What's going on?

- Oh, wake up, Cristina! - Dear lord.

- It's open. Get her in. - Please, sir.

Thank you so much.

- To the hospital. - To the hospital.

To the emergency room!

- Emergency room? - Cristina, come on!

- Please. - Go with her, manola!

What was that?

Oh, my god.

I can't believe it.

What happened? What's going on?

[Chatter fades]

You have one new voice mail.

Blanca: Valeria.

I've seen the show. Are you okay?

Call me whenever you can.

We have to reconsider a new approach for the book.

[Click]

Valeria.

Thanks for that.

No worries.

Do you feel okay?

Yes, I'm fine. [Sighs]

That polygraph thing, lie... lie detector, my ass.

You know my story.

I've told you all of it.

I told you everything, about the prince.

Well, Cristina, about that prince...

"about that prince" what? The prince was real.

He was dropped off at my place by a limousine.

He was dressed up as a builder, and I fucking fucked him.

He was one of my fans.

A story that only you and Lydia lozano know!

Who's to believe,

that... that polyfuck or la veneno?

Well, you, Cristina, of course.

[Sighs]

I mean, it's just the way you talk

about your life sometimes... and what?

[Sighs]

When you ripped off

that prostitute's nipple, for example.

I tore off her nipple with one chomp.

Back then, things were really different, okay?

You understand?

And that night, the storm was raging so bad

that the whores were floating in the park.

Do you want to write my book?

Do you want to hear my story?

Drive to chueca, and hurry up!

Take us to la mito.

You're about to see la veneno's Madrid,

the Madrid when I was young.

[Overlapping chatter]

[Baby crying]

[Telephone ringing]

Good morning, champion!

I made you a stew.

It's got beans, chickpeas,

chicken, chicken bones, everything.

You're gonna love it! It'll bring you back to life.

The food here isn't nutritious enough.

Look at you. You're white as a ghost.

You shouldn't have. I'm not hungry.

You'll eat it because I said so and because I made it

- with all my heart and twat. - Tania.

Everything's upside down at west park.

Manola's going crazy.

The Nazis still keep randomly coming by.

And we've got two new girls. They're making a total mess.

- Tania. - And I so I said

once you meet my Cristina, you will see...

- Tania. - Who's the boss.

I'm not coming back.

What are you talking about?

Are you planning on moving in to the hospital?

You'll have to leave at some point.

I won't go back.

'Cause I have to go away.

No.

You're not going anywhere.

I'll be fine.

It's just for a while.

Where to?

Greece.

I'm going home.

Where else would I go?

Will you write to me?

If I have time, yes.

What will I do without you, Cristina?

I've got two presents for you.

The first one is...

[Sighs]

To have my spot in west park.

You'll make money there

so you can afford a good surgeon.

And the second...

And the most important...

It's my name.

That Tania name,

it's not you.

Your name has to be...

Cristina.

But how am I gonna use Cristina?

That's your name.

What's an onassis without a heiress?

You never told me how Cristina onassis died.

She bore a curse, sweetheart,

the same we all have to bear as an onassis.

Fanny: What's up, ugly face?

What the hell you doing there?

That's onassis' spot.

Fuck off, or I will beat your ass

and leave you fucking crippled.

Are you deaf or what, idiot?!

Listen, you fucker.

You're scratching the balls of a tiger. You get that?

You're uglier than a pile of shit,

and you're as stiff as a cheap dildo.

Someday the tables might turn,

and I'll be the one who is beating your ugly ass.

[Teeth clack]

As of right now,

you're all gonna call me Cristina,

and this spot is where I'm standing.

Are you listening, bitches?

Hey, hey, come on. Easy, everyone.

- Bitch, please. - Shh!

[Chatter quiets]

Ladies, have some respect

for our friend Cristina and her new official spot.

Listen to me, you piece of shit.

For you to level up to the height of my ass,

it would have to be the day hell freezes over

and pigs start to fucking fly.

Get out of my sight,

or I will slice those little queer tits of yours off

and stick them up your ass.

You heard me?

Fuck off!

What did I say?!

Go. Don't get yourself into more trouble, girl.

[Overlapping chatter]

[Scoffs]

Pour me another.

Cristina, that's enough.

Quiet.

- One more? - That's right.

- That's the spirit, right? - Fun-time girl.

- You got me. - Another drink for the lady.

Little cough syrup for you.

- Here you go, kiddo. - Great.

Next.

Hey, you got it, love.

- That's eight bucks, you know. - No way.

I've never paid a cent for a drink here.

Things don't work that way anymore.

Want me to blow you?

I'm kidding.

Open a tab. Keep it open.

Come on. Fuck that guy.

Having fun tonight, guys?

You're a hottie, aren't you?

Hey, get your hands off him, lady.

I'm la veneno!

- I don't care who you are. - Cristina,

- let's get out of here. - Stop it.

That motherfucker still isn't here.

Who?

It was the perfect storm.

When I had money, it rained sugar every night.

Cristina, I don't understand.

I don't know who you're talking about.

Then leave!

Cristina Ortiz?

- [Thunder crashes] - Yes, sir.

The surgeon's waiting for you.

Don't worry. It'll be fine.

[Moans]

- Let's go. - And, you,

take good care of her. Make her the new Raquel Welch.

Man: Sure. There we go.

[Thunder crashing]

- You the surgeon? - Ah, no.

I'm a nurse. Dr. Sala is the surgeon.

I want to have big, huge boobs like two Soviet missiles,

boom, boom.

Several thunderstorms are raging

through regions all across the entire country,

the worst of which are located in central Spain,

- where rain is pouring down... - [Doorbell rings]

Creating incredible flooding everywhere throughout Madrid.

Maricarmen: Are you paca?

- Yes. Come in. - [Door closes]

Honey.

Honey.

[Moans]

How are you feeling?

I'm fine, paca.

Your sister came to visit you.

You want me to let her come in?

[Sighs]

[Moans]

Paca: Come in, maricarmen.

[Thunder rumbling]

Joselito.

Maricarmen, what are you doing here?

I've come to visit you.

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

What do you think?

Well...

Very handsome.

Oh, my, but you look just like mama.

[Thunder crashing]

That's my biggest fear, maricarmen.

What is?

[Music playing]

To be like mama.

♪ Dame veneno que quiero morir ♪

♪ dame veneno ♪

♪ que antes prefiero la muerte que vivir contigo ♪

♪ dame veneno ♪

♪ ay, para morir ♪

[Song continues]

♪ Dame veneno que quiero morir ♪

♪ dame veneno ♪

♪ que antes prefiero la muerte que vivir contigo ♪

♪ dame veneno ♪

[Wind blowing]

♪ Ay, para morir ♪

♪ ay, que adelantas con tener ♪

♪ ay, Los ojos como las moras ♪

♪ si cuando sales a la calle ♪

♪ que de cualquiera te enamoras ♪

♪ que Mira si eres presumi'a... ♪

- [Yelps] - Stay down!

- And now what? - [Groans]

What do you say now, motherfucker?! Huh?

Fanny: What do you think? A boob job doesn't change shit!

You're still an ugly bitch!

♪ Te lo pones to Los días ♪

♪ dame veneno que quiero morir ♪

- ♪ dame veneno... ♪ - Cristina.

- You! Who the fuck is she? - Cristina!

- Who is this bitch, huh? - Cristina, stop!

- [Both grunting] - ♪ dame veneno... ♪

Knock her out! Kill her!

Who's on top now?

- Who?! Say it! - Say it, bitch!

Maricarmen: We come from a dark place, joselito,

but we cannot run away from who we are.

It's our heritage.

And we have no other choice

but to use our agony, either to hurt others...

[Screams]

Fucker!

What are you doing with that slut?

- You're totally insane! - Out!

- You have to go! - I'll cut you!

Hey, stop it! I'm begging you!

- Angelo, you get out, too! - Come back here!

...or use it to defend what's ours.

- The Nazis are coming! - Nazis are here!

I'm gonna kill you, you fucker!

[Overlapping yells]

Motherfuckers, come on!

Oh, this girl is just like venom!

Bring the guns!

[Screams]

[Yells]

No one's gonna hurt us anymore!

Wait for me, you asshole!

Get out of here, motherfuckers!

- Fuck off! - Fuck off!

Fuck off!

[Thunder crashing]

From this day forward,

all of you are are gonna call me Cristina!

Valeria: Cristina.

Cristina, where are we?

Isn't it obvious? This is west park.

That motherfucker's always here.

Let's go home.

[Overlapping chatter]

Hey, you! You filthy bitch!

Cristina, come on!

What are you doing with Angelo?

- Veneno, you shouldn't be here! - It's my house!

No, this is no longer your home. Leave!

- Quiet! I'll cut you! - Cristina, no!

- Shut up! - [Yelps]

Angelo: You are done, Cristina.

You are ruined.

This poor little girl

will get destroyed by you.

Because everything you touch is destroyed.

Don't get near her.

She's a liar and crazy.

Get away before it is too late.

Cristina, let's go home.

- I'm begging you. - Leave me alone!

- Just go! - Come with me, Cristina...

- Go away! - Please.

Listen to them, and get out of here!

- Leave! - But, Cristina.

Leave, and don't come back! I don't care!

Get out!

Are you for real?

- Let go of me. - Cristina!

Now go!

[Sobbing]

I pity you, Cristina.

[Crying continues]

[Instrumental playing]