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1
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You're depressed, Adam.
- I am not depressed, mom. I'm just tired.
2
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,291
Of course you're depressed.
Don't tell me that when you're depressed.
3
00:00:57,325 --> 00:00:59,693
I can always tell when you're depressed.
- Mom, I am just...
4
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:02,763
Why shouldn't you be depressed?
Your wife's only been dead for how long now?
5
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:05,233
Six months?
- Eight months, mom, but all I want to say...
6
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,535
- It's time to forget.
- I have forgotten.
7
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,870
Put your head in a new place.
Find out where you're coming from.
8
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,640
Mom, all I...
- Life goes on. There's your work
9
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:15,676
and you've got to keep your mind alive and alert.
- Yes, mom, but...
10
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:18,379
Forget that you're depressed.
- I am not depressed!
11
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:21,549
Go away for a few days.
- That's why I called you, mom, to tell you
12
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:24,385
I'm leaving Paris for a few days.
I'm going to Megeve to ski.
13
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:28,722
And in case anyone wants to reach me,
I'll be out of touch for about six days.
14
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:31,859
You call me all the way
across the Atlantic ocean
15
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,794
using satellite or whatever
the hell they've got up there
16
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:36,697
at $4 a minute to give me this kind of information?
17
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:39,567
Yes, mom.
- Oh, you must be terribly depressed.
18
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,236
Goodbye, mom.
19
00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:46,340
Would you,
as the family attorney,
20
00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:48,609
inform Mrs. Brittenham
that her husband,
21
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:52,546
Chase Brittenham,
has been granted a divorce in Juarez, Mexico?
22
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:57,585
As you know,
his recent business reverses make any formal alimony impossible.
23
00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,888
But she is to have sole possession of the car and its maintenance for
24
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:03,824
three years and she is to keep all her own clothes.
25
00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:05,893
- Oh, thank you very much.
- Fare back to London
26
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:10,564
and reasonable expenses for the period of three months.
- Who's the girl, Franco?
27
00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:13,634
Mona.
- Oh, I might have known, Age 22, bust 38,
28
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,803
- IQ, indiscernible.
- Now my advice to...
29
00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:17,905
Why are they always 22?
30
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:21,642
Why can't they be 36, 39,
or 43 in age as well as measurement?
31
00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,512
He wouldn't have known the difference,
and it wouldn't have hurt like this.
32
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:27,915
Tricia, go to the mountains and ski, ski,
ski till you've got him
33
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:31,385
out of your system.
- He's well out of my system. That's no problem.
34
00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:34,722
It's that inexorable, inescapable,
inflatable 22-year-old that
35
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:38,792
I can't get rid of.
- Ski, Tricia! The world is filled with
36
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:43,397
overinflated 22-year-olds. Just ski her away.
- I'll try, Franco,
37
00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:46,434
but it's a bumpy run.
I've been there before.
38
00:03:56,704 --> 00:04:00,674
No, Franco, I'm fine. Honestly, not a scratch.
It was truly miraculous,
39
00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:04,878
- but the car is a mess.
- Mrs. Brittenham, could I have a few words with you?
40
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,315
Yes, I know,
you're going to have to take full responsibility.
41
00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:09,617
There's a lot of money involved,
possible legal action.
42
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,785
Time is very important so if you could hang up the call later.
43
00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:13,821
There's somebody here being
incredibly rude.
44
00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:15,756
I'm not just "somebody",
lady. I'm Adam Watson,
45
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,791
the person you criminally
crashed into.
46
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:22,896
I'll call you back, Franco.
47
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:26,967
- Insurance, madam,
liability, culpability.
48
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,938
You were driving on the wrong side of the road,
you came barreling into me, ergo you
49
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:34,074
- and you alone are totally responsible.
- Just one minute.
50
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:38,379
- You are absolutely certain that I am totally responsible?
- Absolutely.
51
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:40,514
- It couldn't have been, for instance, the weather?
- No way.
52
00:04:40,548 --> 00:04:44,385
Or the condition of road,
or that neither of us had chains, or that you were driving
53
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:46,987
- at an excessive rate of speed?
- I, excessive! I was merely
54
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:49,590
driving a little fast to get to my hotel for the continental breakfast.
55
00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:52,926
- You were qualifying for the grand prix!
- You mean you risked your
56
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:57,097
life and mine so that you could get somewhere
in time for a continental breakfast?
57
00:04:57,130 --> 00:05:00,634
The continental breakfast is not a relevant point.
Besides, it was paid for anyway.
58
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:03,904
- That's certainly worth a limb or two.
- I think, we can drop
59
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:06,907
the sarcasm, Mrs. Brittenham.
You are English, aren't you?
60
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:08,876
What has that got
to do with it?
61
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:11,078
Well, it makes it cut and dry,
like all English drivers,
62
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:13,347
you were driving on the wrong side of the road,
and you thought you were
63
00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:15,616
on the right,
taking a little spin through Twickenham or Henley-on-Thames.
64
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:19,487
- Suppose we omit the sarcasm. It is not an American gift.
- Mrs. Brittenham,
65
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,823
there's a judgment against me by a French used-car dealer.
66
00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:26,427
If I don't satisfy the judgment,
I'll never get out of this country in time
67
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:30,097
to resume my job in America,
which I sorely need for my basic support.
68
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:33,867
That's a touching story,
and it brings me to the verge of the most enormous yawn
69
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:35,836
you ever heard. Good day.
70
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,807
Mrs.
Brittenham, you're gonna sit down at that desk and write me a letter
71
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,642
- of culpability, and you're
going to do it now.
72
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,876
Yes, you are.
73
00:05:46,614 --> 00:05:48,449
Very well.
74
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:53,954
- Paper.
- Paper, paper, paper. Pardon.
75
00:05:55,656 --> 00:05:56,824
Here you are.
76
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:01,862
- Would you like to dictate the letter?
- I would indeed.
77
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:05,866
- French, Italian, Esperanto,
whatever, just so long as
78
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:08,869
- the signature's clear.
- Oh, I think, French might be more useful for your
79
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:12,105
- used-car dealer.
- Very thoughtful. Thank you very much. Ready?
80
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:15,743
- Ready.
- "To whom it may concern..."
81
00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:28,422
- There, you see, that will show you who is responsible.
- Mmm-hmm.
82
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:31,859
I spoke to the authorities at Megeve.
They suggested you take this down to your
83
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:35,496
insurance company.
They'd see whose fault it was and deal with the other
84
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:37,598
insurance company, and then,
of course, you'd have all your money.
85
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:40,901
- You realize, of course, this is written in French?
- I know.
86
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:44,872
- Not necessary.
I dictated it myself.
87
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:48,075
- May be you had better hear what you dictated.
- It's a waste of time.
88
00:06:48,676 --> 00:06:50,578
Listen anyway.
89
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,480
- "To whom it may concern.
- That's right.
90
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,114
"I, Mrs. Patricia Brittenham."
91
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:55,749
"Do solemnly attest...
92
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:57,718
"...that on the morning
of the 15th of this month...
93
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,787
"While driving in
mountainous territory
94
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,722
"On the wrong side of the road."
- No.
95
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,957
No, Monsieur.
96
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:07,027
What Madame Brittenham has written is,
"While driving at a normal rate of speed
97
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:10,931
"on the proper side of the road,
I was suddenly crashed into by
98
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:15,168
"an erratically driven car on the wrong
side of the road operated by a man
99
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:19,072
"whose only excuse was his quest for a free continental breakfast.
100
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:22,810
"Obviously under the
influence of alcohol."
101
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:26,580
- Six years.
- Let me see that!
102
00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:28,882
I can't speak it,
but I read it a little.
103
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:34,154
Son of a bitch! I've gotta
get back up there and quick!
104
00:07:34,187 --> 00:07:35,889
Would you let me use
one of your cars?
105
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:37,958
I know you
may not believe this,
106
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:40,994
but when it gets down to the nitty-gritty,
I'm an extremely dependable driver.
107
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:43,230
I'll take the train.
108
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:10,123
- What do you want from me, buddy?
- Uh, your binoculars.
109
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:34,782
- Merci very much.
- You're welcome very much.
110
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:02,776
Mrs. Brittenham!
Mrs. Brittenham!
111
00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:07,648
Mrs. Brittenham, about that letter,
I'd like to talk to you about the letter!
112
00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:25,032
I'm an American!
113
00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:35,075
Oh! Oh, no!
114
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:10,644
This looks like a hotel.
- Oh, it is, sir.
115
00:10:10,678 --> 00:10:14,347
The hospital is crowded.
So we're using this for the overflow.
116
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:18,686
What happened to the lady who crashed into me?
Is she here, too?
117
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:22,255
- Resting in her own room.
- Do you think I could see the lady?
118
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,291
I've got some unfinished
business.
119
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:32,700
Monsieur Watson,
I have here a court order that you refrain from any personal contact
120
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:35,969
with our client, Madame Brittenham,
until you are both able to
121
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:40,107
appear in court.
She will testify against you on charges of physical attack
122
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:43,043
with intent to commit
grievous bodily harm.
123
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,812
Grievous bodily harm?
124
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:47,447
It was she who criminally
crashed into me again!
125
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:51,151
Monsieur Watson, please stay away from Madame Brittenham,
or you will be removed
126
00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:55,322
immediately to a prison facility with
slightly less compassionate attendants.
127
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,371
We regret that our heating equipment on the main floor
128
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,406
is temporarily out of order.
129
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:50,477
We suggest you try the reading room with the large fireplace,
where professor Maxwell
130
00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:55,315
has consented to speak to us on aspects
of 19th century English literature.
131
00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:59,286
One doesn't mind the French claiming credit for the modern novel,
132
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:03,957
but when our American cousins with colossal conceit and insolence
133
00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:06,994
claim responsibility for any
changes in the course
134
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:09,096
of European
or English literature,
135
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:12,800
then my patience reaches
its absolute limits.
136
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:16,169
In fact, as Oscar Wilde
has so aptly said...
137
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:18,038
"The Americans and the English
138
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,974
"are divided by the barrier of a common language."
139
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:22,375
Precisely!
140
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,511
And that, my friend,
is the kind of insular
141
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:28,849
British literary rubbish that has drifted
across the Atlantic for dreary decades.
142
00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:32,552
It's the sort of nonsense that chooses to
overlook the incredibly innovative aspect
143
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,856
of the work of Hawthorne,
Henry James, Edgar Allan Poe.
144
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:39,993
There's another case
in point. Edgar Allan Poe,
145
00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:43,864
a drug addict, a drunk,
a psychotic poseur.
146
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:45,866
You're undoubtedly right, sir.
147
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:49,002
Poe was a drug addict, a drunk,
and perhaps even a psychotic,
148
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:52,172
but knew better than any human being about the sense of loss.
149
00:12:52,205 --> 00:12:55,208
A loss of a loved one
When he wrote, "Yes!
150
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:58,378
"That was the reason,
as all men know In this kingdom by the sea,
151
00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:00,280
"that the wind came
out of the cloud by night
152
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:03,250
"chilling and killing
my Annabel Lee.
153
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:06,820
"But our love it was stronger by far than the love of those
154
00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:10,557
"who were older than we and
many far wiser than we.
155
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:14,261
"And neither the angels in heaven above
nor the demons down under the sea"
156
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:18,265
"can ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee."
157
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,568
That, sir, is the
kind of pot-boiling
158
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:24,204
we colonials don't mind
contributing to the world.
159
00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,108
Or would you prefer something
a little more contemporary?
160
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,310
Such as, "There once was
a harlot named Sue,
161
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,345
"who filled up her whoozits with glue.
She said with a grin,
162
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:35,282
'they can pay to get in.
They can pay to get out again, too.'"
163
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:39,619
Or how about, "While Titian
was mixing rose madder,
164
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,022
"His model reclined
on a ladder.
165
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:46,126
"Her position, to Titian, suggested coition,
so he leapt up the ladder and had her."
166
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,228
I rather like that one.
167
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:51,464
We are pleased to announce you may return to your rooms.
168
00:13:56,836 --> 00:14:00,307
They're not only conceited and insolent.
They're vulgar and boorish as well.
169
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:02,442
Well, I thought that one
was a bit erratic myself,
170
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:04,277
so I made inquires,
and I'm afraid
171
00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:06,379
in his case we must
make an exception.
172
00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:08,949
It seems his wife died
eight months ago,
173
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:12,852
- and he's still...
174
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,492
Shall I wheel you to your
room, Mrs. Brittenham?
175
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,594
Oh, no. No, thank you.
I can manage.
176
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:08,976
Now, look, Mrs.
Brittenham, this is the third time you've crashed into me.
177
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:12,145
There's no question of culpability or responsibility.
I was in my own room.
178
00:15:12,179 --> 00:15:13,280
Shut up!
179
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:20,020
The English and the Americans are not always
divided by the barrier of a common language.
180
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,189
I think this is
the letter you wanted.
181
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:23,723
It is if it says what
I hope it does.
182
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,093
It does, and I'm extremely
sorry about the other one.
183
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:28,561
Oh, that's all right.
I had it coming.
184
00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:31,098
- Here. Let me help you.
- Oh!
185
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,069
- Oh!
- Aah!
186
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:46,013
Are you all right?
187
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,148
I'll let you know
after the X-rays.
188
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:57,290
If, um, we ever manage
to get off this floor,
189
00:15:57,324 --> 00:16:01,328
perhaps I could buy you
breakfast in the morning.
190
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:05,098
I don't know.
Free breakfasts seem to get me in a lot of trouble.
191
00:16:05,132 --> 00:16:07,334
That's certainly true.
192
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:23,216
Oh! Um, that's my broken leg.
193
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:26,219
- I know, but I'm holding it on the thigh.
- Yes, but it's very painful!
194
00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:27,620
Oh, I beg your pardon!
195
00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:37,464
I'm okay.
I'm okay!
196
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:47,474
Oh! Three-and-a-half-minutes.
197
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:51,344
- Would you like me to wheel you back to your room?
- No, thank you.
198
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:55,014
No, really, really. Please don't bother.
It's much too near the stairway.
199
00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,553
- Good night.
- Good night.
200
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:07,060
Oh! Oh! Oh, no! Aah!
201
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:10,163
I told them three and a half minutes.
Should I send them back?
202
00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:13,166
Don't bother.
It always happens when they boil them the night before.
203
00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:16,503
So, um, what do you teach?
204
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,205
- Winchester.
205
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:20,773
- English literature.
206
00:17:20,807 --> 00:17:24,644
- Assistant, actually, until
I receive tenure.
207
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:29,549
Oh, tenure is the magic word.
The "open sesame" to economic security for academics,
208
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:31,784
a permanent hold on your job.
209
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:35,788
Once you achieve tenure,
they can't fire you except for moral turpitude,
210
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:38,558
and I don't have the energy for that anymore.
211
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:42,162
- How sad.
- Grapefruit's good, though.
212
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:45,598
- In a minute.
213
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:48,268
How does it happen that an English production secretary
214
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:50,503
working for a German
film company making
215
00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:54,607
an Italian film with a French director gets
married in Rome to an American working for
216
00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:57,210
- a Swiss investment firm.
217
00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:58,578
That's what you said you did.
218
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:02,715
Well, the American's firm
was financing the film,
219
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:07,287
and the production secretary's job was
to take the daily cost reports to his office.
220
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:11,858
One day, as most Americans do,
he said, "bring them to my flat."
221
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:15,695
The wide-eyed production secretary did.
Had a few camparis with a twist,
222
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:18,398
a few without, a few more with,
a few more without.
223
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:22,802
- And simply never left.
- Logical way to start a marriage.
224
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:26,606
It was a beautiful flat
right on the Tiber.
225
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,642
He had a five year lease on
it and apparently me too.
226
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:31,844
You seem to be surviving.
227
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:34,681
Oh, I'm a survivor.
Life will be beautiful again as long as they take away
228
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:37,450
- your driver's license and keep you off skis.
- Funny I was thinking,
229
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:39,686
- the same thing about you.
230
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:40,853
I was.
231
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:43,876
Now, that's enough.
232
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:44,911
All right.
233
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:52,452
Thank you. Merci.
234
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,389
Oh!
235
00:21:10,637 --> 00:21:14,807
- 8:00.
236
00:21:14,841 --> 00:21:17,644
- Mine's at 9:00. Maybe I could help you with your luggage.
- Thank you.
237
00:22:11,097 --> 00:22:15,568
You've got a few minutes.
Why don't I just make you feel comfortable?
238
00:22:15,602 --> 00:22:18,905
Well, that's very kind.
Thank you.
239
00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:22,675
Oh, thank you.
240
00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:28,615
Oh, sorry. Uh, excuse me.
241
00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:36,723
These have been an incredible
34 days.
242
00:22:36,756 --> 00:22:38,190
Incredible.
243
00:22:38,224 --> 00:22:41,127
It doesn't seem possible there was
ever a time we didn't know each other.
244
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:45,865
- Impossible.
- We've known each other now four weeks and six days.
245
00:22:45,898 --> 00:22:48,468
- Mmm-hmm.
- Discussed really personal stuff.
246
00:22:48,501 --> 00:22:50,937
Everything from my toilet
training to the first time
247
00:22:50,970 --> 00:22:54,407
- a boy snapped your bra
at a church picnic.
248
00:22:54,441 --> 00:22:57,644
And I want to feel you're going to go on being my friend.
249
00:22:57,677 --> 00:22:59,412
Oh, I hope so.
250
00:22:59,446 --> 00:23:02,181
Our lives are obviously headed in different directions.
251
00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:05,685
- Obviously.
- And you're going to find someone.
252
00:23:05,718 --> 00:23:09,889
The right one.
And then I want both you and him to be my friends.
253
00:23:09,922 --> 00:23:11,624
We would both like that.
254
00:23:11,658 --> 00:23:14,494
I'll probably find
a suitable lady.
255
00:23:14,527 --> 00:23:16,162
Oh, easily.
256
00:23:16,195 --> 00:23:19,832
But I want to feel that what we've started here is going to continue.
257
00:23:19,866 --> 00:23:23,069
A genuine friendship between
a man and a woman.
258
00:23:23,102 --> 00:23:28,541
A pure, simple, extremely valued,
non-physical relationship.
259
00:23:28,575 --> 00:23:30,643
- Agreed.
260
00:23:33,212 --> 00:23:36,082
And what time would Monsieur and
Madame like to be woken in the morning?
261
00:23:43,155 --> 00:23:45,525
9:00 with coffee
and croissant.
262
00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:47,927
And two
three-and-a-half-minute eggs.
263
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:49,095
Very good.
264
00:24:40,613 --> 00:24:42,248
- We're getting married.
265
00:24:42,281 --> 00:24:44,116
- Shh.
266
00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:47,186
It's a beautiful ceremony.
Enjoy it. It's costing us a fortune.
267
00:24:47,219 --> 00:24:49,756
Listen, we've had 12 weeks
of delicious moral turpitude.
268
00:24:49,789 --> 00:24:52,792
Why don't we forget the wedding ceremony and go on living together?
269
00:24:52,825 --> 00:24:56,128
Because living together has become a bourgeois,
middle class thing to do.
270
00:24:56,162 --> 00:24:59,566
It's immature, childish.
It's what kids do right after they've had the mumps.
271
00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:02,001
I still can't think of one good reason why two virtual strangers
272
00:25:02,034 --> 00:25:05,271
should commit themselves to this condition of unrelenting permanency.
273
00:25:05,304 --> 00:25:07,039
I can give you 10
good reasons.
274
00:25:07,073 --> 00:25:09,008
One, we're
intellectually compatible.
275
00:25:09,041 --> 00:25:11,143
Two, we enjoy the same kind of food, music,
and humor.
276
00:25:11,177 --> 00:25:13,946
And three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, and ten,
277
00:25:13,980 --> 00:25:16,148
we are absolutely
fabulous in bed.
278
00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:18,117
- I do.
279
00:25:26,993 --> 00:25:29,261
Will passenger
Adam Percival Watson
280
00:25:29,295 --> 00:25:31,798
go to the nearest
courtesy phone, please?
281
00:25:31,831 --> 00:25:34,801
- Passenger Adam Percival Watson, telephone.
- Excuse me.
282
00:25:34,834 --> 00:25:38,771
Percival?
- It has to be my mother.
283
00:25:38,805 --> 00:25:42,609
Nobody else would dare.
She's probably gonna want to meet you right here and now,
284
00:25:42,642 --> 00:25:45,011
but we've got too much to do,
and she's just gonna have to wait.
285
00:25:45,044 --> 00:25:46,913
- Yes.
- Ah!
286
00:25:48,615 --> 00:25:50,617
This is very
heavy, Percival.
287
00:25:52,018 --> 00:25:54,721
Hello, this is
Adam Percival Watson.
288
00:25:54,754 --> 00:25:56,589
Hello, mom. Hi.
289
00:25:56,623 --> 00:25:58,858
Now, listen, mom, we
won't be able to make it.
290
00:25:58,891 --> 00:26:02,128
It's important that I get back to school immediately,
right now.
291
00:26:02,161 --> 00:26:04,664
So you'll just have to
wait and meet Tricia later on.
292
00:26:04,697 --> 00:26:06,899
Yes. Yes.
293
00:26:07,734 --> 00:26:08,868
Yes.
294
00:26:10,136 --> 00:26:12,571
Yes, that's right.
Okay.
295
00:26:17,109 --> 00:26:19,078
We're going over
to meet my mother.
296
00:26:19,111 --> 00:26:20,346
But you just...
297
00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:46,172
Would you wait right here,
please?
298
00:26:52,011 --> 00:26:55,682
Adam, my love,
I do congratulate you.
299
00:26:55,715 --> 00:26:57,950
You've shown your
usual good taste.
300
00:26:57,984 --> 00:27:00,252
Tricia, darling,
you are enchanting.
301
00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:01,921
Thank you, Mrs. Watson.
302
00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:04,791
Oh, not Mrs. Watson, Jemmy.
Not mother, not darling,
303
00:27:04,824 --> 00:27:07,426
not that oversexed old
battle ax, just Jemmy.
304
00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:09,829
Around here, it means
the same thing.
305
00:27:09,862 --> 00:27:14,400
I personally think that what you both have done is brave and bold and
306
00:27:14,433 --> 00:27:16,869
just a little bit silly.
307
00:27:16,903 --> 00:27:19,271
I don't believe in marriage.
I never have.
308
00:27:19,305 --> 00:27:24,076
I think that the best thing lovers can do is just get into bed and revel in it.
309
00:27:24,110 --> 00:27:27,980
Bed is the only place that offers a man and a woman equal opportunity.
310
00:27:28,014 --> 00:27:29,716
But go try to legislate it.
311
00:27:29,749 --> 00:27:32,785
Mom, you just want
to pour the tea?
312
00:27:32,819 --> 00:27:37,456
Oh, did Adam tell you?
He was brought up in this house, in this street.
313
00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:40,026
- Oh, in that very bedroom.
- No. No, he didn't.
314
00:27:40,059 --> 00:27:44,263
- The tea, Ma.
- Oh, it's filled with his diplomas and certificates
315
00:27:44,296 --> 00:27:50,236
of scholarship and emblems and cups and
medals and pictures of the three times
316
00:27:50,269 --> 00:27:52,872
he was a guest star on the
"quiz kid" program.
317
00:27:52,905 --> 00:27:54,206
Ooh!
318
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:58,077
Oh, he pulverized those little snots.
We would have been regulars,
319
00:27:58,110 --> 00:28:02,014
but we had a terrible agent.
Oh, and he's got a beautiful gold cup given to him
320
00:28:02,048 --> 00:28:04,784
by Tyrone Guthrie
and his phi beta kappa key.
321
00:28:04,817 --> 00:28:06,886
Okay, mom, it's a shrine.
322
00:28:06,919 --> 00:28:09,321
Later, we'll go in and light the candles.
Would you pass the sugar?
323
00:28:09,355 --> 00:28:14,193
Did you know that Scotty, Fitzgerald,
that is, slept in that room?
324
00:28:14,226 --> 00:28:19,198
So did Faulkner, even Ernest Hemingway.
They used to pop over in the old days.
325
00:28:19,231 --> 00:28:21,333
They tied on a big one,
they had to sleep it off.
326
00:28:21,367 --> 00:28:23,870
Oh, Trish, darling,
you married a man
327
00:28:23,903 --> 00:28:27,339
who was brought up in an aura of first cabin intellectualism.
328
00:28:27,373 --> 00:28:28,808
Any cookies, mom?
329
00:28:28,841 --> 00:28:32,144
A world where material
things didn't matter.
330
00:28:32,178 --> 00:28:36,048
- Any kind. Chocolate chip, water crackers...
- And that's why, Tricia...
331
00:28:36,082 --> 00:28:40,352
- That world is the world that
Adam must seek eminence in,
332
00:28:40,386 --> 00:28:42,088
no matter what the cost.
333
00:28:43,089 --> 00:28:44,490
That is understood?
334
00:28:44,523 --> 00:28:47,359
- Oh, of course.
- Oh, for God's sake, mom!
335
00:28:47,393 --> 00:28:50,362
I raised and guided
that boy single-handedly.
336
00:28:50,396 --> 00:28:52,264
I don't even know who
his father was.
337
00:28:52,298 --> 00:28:54,233
Could have been any one of two very good playwrights,
338
00:28:54,266 --> 00:28:59,005
two fair novelists,
and one so-so critic.
339
00:28:59,038 --> 00:29:02,274
- Mom, come on!
- Personally, I think it was the critic.
340
00:29:04,010 --> 00:29:07,146
He was a real bastard with a
dallying ding dong.
341
00:29:07,179 --> 00:29:10,116
I hated every little
bit of him.
342
00:29:10,149 --> 00:29:14,386
Well, except the little bit that was responsible for you, dear.
343
00:29:14,420 --> 00:29:17,189
How come every time I invite you to tea,
you break my crockery?
344
00:29:17,223 --> 00:29:19,358
I don't know, mom.
I can't explain it.
345
00:29:19,391 --> 00:29:25,064
- Look, we really gotta go, Ma.
- Now, Tricia, Susan and I didn't agree on everything.
346
00:29:25,097 --> 00:29:30,502
- Well, yes. She was Adam's
late first wife.
347
00:29:30,536 --> 00:29:36,175
Oh, she was a wonderful girl.
Good family and quality, and she had it up here.
348
00:29:36,208 --> 00:29:40,479
- Well, as I say, we didn't
always agree,
349
00:29:40,512 --> 00:29:45,017
but there was one thing that we were in perfect agreement about.
350
00:29:45,051 --> 00:29:50,122
That nothing, absolutely nothing,
must stand in Adam's way for tenure this year.
351
00:29:50,156 --> 00:29:52,291
You do understand that,
don't you?
352
00:29:52,324 --> 00:29:55,261
Why, of course.
Whatever's best for Adam is...
353
00:29:55,294 --> 00:29:58,397
Tenure this year and
tenure at Winchester.
354
00:29:58,430 --> 00:30:03,335
And eventually, a chair at Harvard,
or Princeton, or Yale. Agreed?
355
00:30:03,369 --> 00:30:08,908
- Agreed.
- Lovely! Oh, say...
356
00:30:08,941 --> 00:30:11,177
I guess you're wondering
how old I am.
357
00:30:11,210 --> 00:30:15,447
- Well, no, Jemmy, I'm not.
- Good.
358
00:30:15,481 --> 00:30:19,418
- Then I won't wonder how old you are, either.
- Thank you.
359
00:30:21,153 --> 00:30:24,123
Time's run out. Look, I called Lenny.
He's gonna meet us at the airport.
360
00:30:24,156 --> 00:30:25,391
- We've gotta run now.
361
00:30:25,424 --> 00:30:26,959
Oh, my lord!
362
00:30:26,993 --> 00:30:30,329
- Mom, I'll call you,
and we'll talk about it later.
363
00:30:30,362 --> 00:30:34,100
Adam, Adam, when are you ever going to learn?
The man's out to get you!
364
00:30:34,133 --> 00:30:36,002
Ma, gotta go.
365
00:30:40,672 --> 00:30:45,111
Listen, if Jemmy should turn out to be some sort of problem,
366
00:30:45,144 --> 00:30:48,948
- Well, sure, but why do
you say it like that?
367
00:30:48,981 --> 00:30:51,918
Because I don't want to be
spared or guarded or shielded.
368
00:30:51,951 --> 00:30:54,486
I think marriage is about sharing,
so let's do something
369
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,656
absolutely radical and share absolutely everything,
including your mother.
370
00:30:57,689 --> 00:30:59,959
That's not radical.
That's suicidal!
371
00:30:59,992 --> 00:31:02,628
- Yes, but if we go, we go together. Deal?
- Deal.
372
00:31:02,661 --> 00:31:04,130
Okay.
373
00:31:11,003 --> 00:31:14,306
- Well, I can't see anybody.
I don't suppose he forgot.
374
00:31:14,340 --> 00:31:17,443
There he is. Hey, Lenny!
375
00:31:17,476 --> 00:31:20,446
That's him right over there.
That's Lenny.
376
00:31:20,479 --> 00:31:21,914
Oh!
377
00:31:21,948 --> 00:31:24,316
Sure! Lenny the chauffeur,
Lenny the slave.
378
00:31:24,350 --> 00:31:27,119
Meets you at the airport,
gets your phone hooked up, puts in the utilities,
379
00:31:27,153 --> 00:31:30,022
gets milk, eggs, bacon
for breakfast, $30 worth.
380
00:31:30,056 --> 00:31:31,390
I read all your mail.
There's nothing important.
381
00:31:31,423 --> 00:31:33,259
I put fresh cheese in
the mousetrap.
382
00:31:33,292 --> 00:31:35,394
I even put that comedy cat
back in the house
383
00:31:35,427 --> 00:31:38,497
after feeding it for a year.
Eats nothing but liver. $7.98 a...
384
00:31:38,530 --> 00:31:40,933
- Shut up and say hello to Tricia.
- Hello, Lenny.
385
00:31:42,334 --> 00:31:47,006
Wow! You don't deserve this.
I mean, style...
386
00:31:47,039 --> 00:31:50,276
Panache.
Why do you always end up with the kind of girl
387
00:31:50,309 --> 00:31:53,345
- my mother told me I should marry, huh?
- Come on, darling.
388
00:31:53,379 --> 00:31:56,248
Let darling stay here.
389
00:31:56,282 --> 00:31:59,518
Old blue eyes and I have got a lot of catching up to do.
390
00:31:59,551 --> 00:32:02,321
- Welcome home.
- Thank you.
391
00:32:02,354 --> 00:32:04,356
Well, that takes care of my
sexual quota for the week.
392
00:32:04,390 --> 00:32:06,458
- Let's get the bags.
393
00:32:08,327 --> 00:32:10,062
Don't get lost.
394
00:32:12,631 --> 00:32:15,567
Isn't she something?
Bright, alert, articulate...
395
00:32:15,601 --> 00:32:17,536
- Something's come up.
- It was weird the way it happened.
396
00:32:17,569 --> 00:32:20,672
- We gotta talk!
- 10 weeks after we met, we were married!
397
00:32:20,706 --> 00:32:24,310
- Adam, there is only
one tenure slot.
398
00:32:24,343 --> 00:32:27,546
- One slot. That's what
I'm talking about.
399
00:32:27,579 --> 00:32:30,282
You're mad. 12 months ago,
the department was scheduled to get six.
400
00:32:30,316 --> 00:32:32,018
You and I were a shoo-ins.
401
00:32:32,051 --> 00:32:33,452
Twelve months ago.
Now we've got three new departments.
402
00:32:33,485 --> 00:32:35,654
Urban planning, ecology,
and African Studies.
403
00:32:35,687 --> 00:32:38,724
Our six slots have suddenly become one.
404
00:32:38,757 --> 00:32:41,560
It's you or me. Next year,
one of us will be working,
405
00:32:41,593 --> 00:32:43,429
the other will be
collecting food stamps.
406
00:32:43,462 --> 00:32:45,397
What a homecoming!
407
00:32:45,431 --> 00:32:47,633
Suddenly you're in the trenches,
shooting it out with your best friend.
408
00:32:47,666 --> 00:32:50,436
C'est la frigging vie.
409
00:32:50,469 --> 00:32:52,071
Hey, what shape is
your manuscript in?
410
00:32:52,104 --> 00:32:54,206
Not bad.
What about you?
411
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:57,343
I'm just about done, but, uh,
I think it's only fair we submit together.
412
00:32:57,376 --> 00:32:59,745
Oh, yeah, sure, good idea,
but I'm gonna need a little time.
413
00:32:59,778 --> 00:33:01,580
How long?
414
00:33:01,613 --> 00:33:04,250
Not much.
You know how it is when you're on your honeymoon.
415
00:33:04,283 --> 00:33:05,651
Typing gets rusty.
416
00:33:05,684 --> 00:33:07,619
But how long?
417
00:33:07,653 --> 00:33:09,155
What's the sweat?
What are you getting so uptight about?
418
00:33:09,188 --> 00:33:10,789
For a start let's say
a mild concern
419
00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:13,559
about what happens to my wife,
my children, my house, my dogs,
420
00:33:13,592 --> 00:33:15,761
my car,
and what I do with the rest of my goddamn life!
421
00:33:15,794 --> 00:33:17,763
Relax, Lenny.
We'll handle it.
422
00:33:18,664 --> 00:33:20,732
Oh, uh...
423
00:33:20,766 --> 00:33:24,503
By the way,
let's keep this little problem to ourselves, okay?
424
00:33:24,536 --> 00:33:25,671
Sure.
425
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,042
But let's resolve it, too.
426
00:33:30,076 --> 00:33:32,010
Oh, yeah. Sure. Sure.
427
00:33:39,551 --> 00:33:43,589
You'll probably think me terribly naive,
but whenever I'm on a campus,
428
00:33:43,622 --> 00:33:47,726
I get this incredible sense of peace and tranquility.
It's like being in a library
429
00:33:47,759 --> 00:33:51,130
- or a cathedral or...
- Or a saloon at about 5:00 in the afternoon.
430
00:33:52,698 --> 00:33:57,203
Oh, what a coincidence. What do you say, Lenny?
You want to stop off somewhere
431
00:33:57,236 --> 00:33:59,505
for a couple of shots
of peace and tranquility?
432
00:33:59,538 --> 00:34:04,776
No, thanks,
but the peace and tranquility will be flowing at the Bryce's tonight.
433
00:34:04,810 --> 00:34:07,313
The good doctor
is pouring in your honor.
434
00:34:07,346 --> 00:34:09,515
How nice.
435
00:34:09,548 --> 00:34:12,684
Well, you're in for a bit of public scrutiny,
my love, from the study and starve group.
436
00:34:12,718 --> 00:34:15,321
The whip, dip, and
duplicity crowd.
437
00:34:15,354 --> 00:34:18,324
Hmm. Who is Dr. Bryce?
438
00:34:18,357 --> 00:34:20,292
The chairman of our department.
- Oh!
439
00:34:20,326 --> 00:34:22,861
- We kiss his ring
every morning.
440
00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:24,730
Or anything else
that's available.
441
00:34:34,273 --> 00:34:38,510
Uh, thanks a lot for letting me pick you up at the airport.
I needed the work.
442
00:34:45,217 --> 00:34:47,453
- I like your friend, Lenny.
- So do I.
443
00:34:47,486 --> 00:34:49,855
- That's the trouble.
444
00:34:49,888 --> 00:34:51,623
- Private joke.
- Hmm.
445
00:34:51,657 --> 00:34:55,794
Shall we?
Welcome to chez Watson.
446
00:34:55,827 --> 00:34:59,798
It's really well-built,
marvelous ventilation.
447
00:34:59,831 --> 00:35:03,735
This is a good piece.
Picked it up at an antique sale.
448
00:35:03,769 --> 00:35:05,471
Over 120 years old.
449
00:35:05,504 --> 00:35:10,309
There are three leaves to this
table, seats up to 14.
450
00:35:10,342 --> 00:35:12,744
They say it's early American,
but it comes from
451
00:35:12,778 --> 00:35:14,813
France really. They all do.
452
00:35:14,846 --> 00:35:16,782
Kitchen's not large, but it's
got everything
453
00:35:16,815 --> 00:35:21,820
Garbage disposal, electric dishwasher,
automatic ice maker.
454
00:35:21,853 --> 00:35:25,657
Didn't cost much, either.
Got it wholesale. Self-cleaning oven,
455
00:35:25,691 --> 00:35:30,262
and lots of shelf space
Actually more than we need.
456
00:35:30,296 --> 00:35:32,464
Uh, this is the cat.
457
00:35:32,498 --> 00:35:34,300
And, and the stairs are
very convenient.
458
00:35:34,333 --> 00:35:35,767
They're just around
the corner here.
459
00:35:37,603 --> 00:35:39,838
Good, solid construction
460
00:35:39,871 --> 00:35:42,140
They don't make them
like this anymore.
461
00:35:46,678 --> 00:35:51,217
- Uh, this is our spare room.
- Oh.
462
00:35:51,250 --> 00:35:55,754
- For guests or arguments or snoring.
- Very practical.
463
00:35:56,688 --> 00:35:58,324
Bedroom.
464
00:36:01,727 --> 00:36:03,695
That's the sewing room.
465
00:36:09,835 --> 00:36:12,704
This, of course, is the
master bedroom.
466
00:36:14,906 --> 00:36:19,278
Um, this is a fine
old antique.
467
00:36:19,311 --> 00:36:22,481
Got this from my mother in-law.
Uh, this was inherited.
468
00:36:22,514 --> 00:36:23,582
Uh...
469
00:36:25,551 --> 00:36:29,688
This is an interesting pair.
We picked these up at a, at a garage sale.
470
00:36:29,721 --> 00:36:33,525
Uh, 50 bucks It was... It was...
It was quite a steal, and, uh,
471
00:36:33,559 --> 00:36:37,563
this is a hell of a bed.
We got this from the ace furniture company on time.
472
00:36:37,596 --> 00:36:41,267
Uh, a couple more payments,
it'll be ours.
473
00:36:43,302 --> 00:36:44,836
Well, this isn't a house.
It's a mausoleum.
474
00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:46,738
I mean, you call Lenny to put
in eggs and bacon.
475
00:36:46,772 --> 00:36:48,840
Why don't you ask him to take
away these things?
476
00:36:48,874 --> 00:36:51,543
But that's all they are.
They're just things.
477
00:36:51,577 --> 00:36:53,845
No, no, no.
They're her things.
478
00:36:53,879 --> 00:36:55,547
- Not anymore, they're not.
479
00:36:55,581 --> 00:36:58,016
Yes. They're just pieces of
paper and cloth.
480
00:36:58,049 --> 00:37:00,619
I'll tell you something
You'd better get used to it,
481
00:37:00,652 --> 00:37:02,621
because it's gonna happen
again and again and again.
482
00:37:02,654 --> 00:37:04,290
Thank you,
Thank you very much.
483
00:37:04,323 --> 00:37:05,957
My God, what the hell kind
of love have we got
484
00:37:05,991 --> 00:37:09,461
if it can't survive a beat-up bathrobe and strawberry preserves?
485
00:37:09,495 --> 00:37:10,862
For God's sake Trish...
486
00:37:10,896 --> 00:37:12,398
Jesus Christ.
487
00:37:19,638 --> 00:37:22,508
Oh, you're right. I'm sorry.
488
00:37:22,541 --> 00:37:24,343
I should have told
Lenny just to,
489
00:37:24,376 --> 00:37:27,346
to clear them away.
I didn't think of it, obviously.
490
00:37:28,947 --> 00:37:31,617
I should have called his wife.
491
00:37:36,355 --> 00:37:40,626
- Why, his wife.
- Ellie. She's very nice.
492
00:37:40,659 --> 00:37:44,029
Well, um,
is she Will she be at this thing we're going to tonight?
493
00:37:44,062 --> 00:37:45,664
What is it?
494
00:37:45,697 --> 00:37:48,900
- At the Bryce's party.
495
00:37:48,934 --> 00:37:52,404
Oh, now, that's something I
can help you with.
496
00:37:52,438 --> 00:37:56,342
What you do is, you reach down
deep into your bag, and you
497
00:37:56,375 --> 00:38:01,012
pull out the most un-chic thing you got,
crumple it up, and stomp on it a little.
498
00:38:01,046 --> 00:38:03,949
Anything so that you won't be
a threat to the other wives.
499
00:38:05,050 --> 00:38:07,052
But I guess that's impossible.
500
00:38:07,085 --> 00:38:09,388
- I guess that's a compliment.
- Wait till you see the other wives.
501
00:38:09,421 --> 00:38:10,789
Uh-huh,
it's not a compliment.
502
00:38:26,372 --> 00:38:27,673
That's quite a lady.
503
00:38:30,976 --> 00:38:32,844
You didn't tell me she looked
like that.
504
00:38:32,878 --> 00:38:35,080
Why should we
both feel rotten?
505
00:38:35,113 --> 00:38:37,549
- Hello, Mavis.
- Adam.
506
00:38:37,583 --> 00:38:38,917
- Paul.
- Adam.
507
00:38:38,950 --> 00:38:41,387
This is Tricia.
Paul and Mavis Bryce.
508
00:38:41,420 --> 00:38:42,954
- Hello.
509
00:38:42,988 --> 00:38:45,724
Welcome home, Adam.
To both of you, our congratulations.
510
00:38:45,757 --> 00:38:47,493
Thank you.
511
00:38:47,526 --> 00:38:49,961
Now, why don't you just run along and mingle with the kitchen help
512
00:38:49,995 --> 00:38:53,999
while I pull rank and keep this lovely creature to myself?
513
00:38:54,032 --> 00:38:57,569
Darling, say yes to everything except an overnight camping trip.
514
00:38:57,603 --> 00:38:59,738
And you're perfectly safe
there, too.
515
00:38:59,771 --> 00:39:01,940
For the last 10 years, he
hasn't even been able to open
516
00:39:01,973 --> 00:39:03,909
the zipper
on his sleeping bag.
517
00:39:07,613 --> 00:39:10,449
- I didn't know I was so witty.
- You aren't.
518
00:39:10,482 --> 00:39:12,584
You're the wife of
the chairman.
519
00:39:12,618 --> 00:39:15,554
- Mingle, Adam.
- Yes, sir.
520
00:39:16,755 --> 00:39:18,890
See you later.
521
00:39:18,924 --> 00:39:21,760
Tricia, I'd like you to meet some of the rest of the faculty.
522
00:39:21,793 --> 00:39:27,065
- Well, that faculty I've met, actually.
- This is my wife, Ellie.
523
00:39:27,098 --> 00:39:30,869
- Hello, Julian, Zelda.
- So, you finally got around to us, eh?
524
00:39:30,902 --> 00:39:33,605
Just your best friends.
The only people in the room who care
525
00:39:33,639 --> 00:39:37,743
whether you live or die, whether your sinuses are open,
your prostate's been massaged.
526
00:39:37,776 --> 00:39:40,011
Zelda, will you shut him up before he starts getting personal?
527
00:39:40,045 --> 00:39:42,113
Hey, you look great, Zee.
How do you feel?
528
00:39:42,147 --> 00:39:44,750
- Six.
529
00:39:44,783 --> 00:39:47,619
I've been married to mucho macho here for seven years,
530
00:39:47,653 --> 00:39:49,755
and I'm in my 53rd month.
531
00:39:49,788 --> 00:39:52,123
I got the squash court
reserved for 4:00 tomorrow.
532
00:39:52,157 --> 00:39:56,495
- I'll be there.
- Don't be late. He's got a lot of energy to work off.
533
00:39:56,528 --> 00:39:58,564
If you don't mind,
I'm gonna sit down.
534
00:39:58,597 --> 00:40:00,899
It's the only position
I feel safe in.
535
00:40:00,932 --> 00:40:03,602
Adam, step into the study for
a moment, will you?
536
00:40:03,635 --> 00:40:04,803
There's something
I want to discuss.
537
00:40:04,836 --> 00:40:06,672
- Just come in.
538
00:40:17,215 --> 00:40:19,485
- Uh, would you...
- Oh, sure.
539
00:40:21,987 --> 00:40:23,054
Thanks.
540
00:40:30,228 --> 00:40:32,063
Will you keep an eye on that?
541
00:40:38,837 --> 00:40:41,940
Thank you very much.
I was speaking it really rather fluently.
542
00:40:41,973 --> 00:40:44,776
- Campus Chianti.
- Oh.
543
00:40:46,211 --> 00:40:48,914
You'll get used to it.
It's very practical.
544
00:40:48,947 --> 00:40:51,683
If you're not serving it to guests,
you can get 12 miles a gallon on it.
545
00:40:53,752 --> 00:40:55,487
Well, it's certainly
a new taste.
546
00:40:55,521 --> 00:40:56,855
You're gonna have a lot
of new tastes.
547
00:40:56,888 --> 00:40:58,890
Some of them
great, some, the pits.
548
00:40:58,924 --> 00:41:01,693
Just remember, I'll be around if you need me,
so call any time.
549
00:41:01,727 --> 00:41:03,562
Would tomorrow be too soon?
550
00:41:03,595 --> 00:41:05,897
You got a hell of a lot of nerve, Julian!
You know that.
551
00:41:05,931 --> 00:41:08,600
Don't bite my head off.
I'm only thinking of you.
552
00:41:08,634 --> 00:41:10,869
But just remember there's only
one slot available here,
553
00:41:10,902 --> 00:41:13,104
and you're up against
a very tough competitor.
554
00:41:13,138 --> 00:41:15,674
Yeah, well, I can handle myself,
I always have and I don't need any charity.
555
00:41:15,707 --> 00:41:18,610
I wouldn't call this charity and offer a tenure at another school.
556
00:41:18,644 --> 00:41:22,180
Some school, Granville tech,
the cultural center of the Ozarks!
557
00:41:22,213 --> 00:41:25,884
Academically, it rates three grades below the Montana school for the tall!
558
00:41:25,917 --> 00:41:28,620
- Now, listen.
- It's not a college. It's an assembly line!
559
00:41:28,654 --> 00:41:30,722
It turns coal miners into
football players!
560
00:41:30,756 --> 00:41:32,824
You do your homework by the
light on your hat!
561
00:41:32,858 --> 00:41:34,926
Just a minute!
I graduated from Granville!
562
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,529
Marvelous! I won't tell anyone
if you won't!
563
00:41:37,563 --> 00:41:39,765
Same sweet Adam!
Welcome home!
564
00:41:42,033 --> 00:41:43,201
- Fine.
565
00:41:43,234 --> 00:41:45,036
Yeah, I know, but what shape
is it really in?
566
00:41:45,070 --> 00:41:47,806
- I told you, fine! It just
needs a little brush-up.
567
00:41:47,839 --> 00:41:49,240
- Nearly done.
568
00:41:49,274 --> 00:41:51,543
Eight weeks!
What is this an inquisition?
569
00:41:51,577 --> 00:41:53,945
I am only thinking of you!
As an officer of their alumni association,
570
00:41:53,979 --> 00:41:56,882
I got to give the Granville people an answer long before eight weeks.
571
00:41:56,915 --> 00:42:00,085
Tell them to take their tenure and shove it up their nearest tight end!
572
00:42:00,118 --> 00:42:01,887
Thanks a lot, but no thanks!
573
00:42:06,858 --> 00:42:08,193
Keep it open, will you,
Julian?
574
00:42:08,226 --> 00:42:09,595
That's what I thought.
575
00:42:16,635 --> 00:42:18,670
All right. Entertainment time.
576
00:42:18,704 --> 00:42:21,172
We haven't heard from the happiness boys in almost a year.
577
00:42:21,206 --> 00:42:22,641
Come on, Adam.
Take your coat off.
578
00:42:22,674 --> 00:42:23,875
Somebody
get the equipment.
579
00:42:26,745 --> 00:42:29,881
Come on. Let's help him.
There you go.
580
00:42:29,915 --> 00:42:31,917
- This is a regular treat, is it?
- Yes.
581
00:42:31,950 --> 00:42:34,653
Come on. Oh, don't be bashful!
582
00:42:39,357 --> 00:42:42,093
* I got a girl who's
mighty sweet *
583
00:42:43,962 --> 00:42:46,998
* With big blue eyes
and tiny feet *
584
00:42:47,032 --> 00:42:48,299
That's mine!
585
00:42:48,333 --> 00:42:53,204
* Her name is
Rosabelle Magee
586
00:42:53,238 --> 00:42:56,374
* And she tips the scales at
587
00:42:56,407 --> 00:42:59,845
* 303
588
00:43:00,278 --> 00:43:03,081
* Oh
589
00:43:03,114 --> 00:43:07,786
* Gee, but ain't it grand to
have a gal so big and fat
590
00:43:07,819 --> 00:43:10,121
* That when you go to hug her
591
00:43:10,155 --> 00:43:12,157
* You don't know
where you're at
592
00:43:12,190 --> 00:43:15,226
* you have to take a piece of
chalk in your hand
593
00:43:15,260 --> 00:43:19,264
* and hug away and chalk a
mark to see where you began
594
00:43:19,297 --> 00:43:21,266
* One day
595
00:43:21,299 --> 00:43:24,335
* I was a-huggin' and
a-chalkin' and a-chalkin'
596
00:43:24,369 --> 00:43:27,372
* And a-huggin' away
597
00:43:27,405 --> 00:43:32,410
* When I met another fellow
with some chalk in his hand
598
00:43:32,443 --> 00:43:36,014
* Comin' around the other way
around the mountain
599
00:43:36,047 --> 00:43:39,250
* A comin' around
the other way *
600
00:43:39,284 --> 00:43:41,787
They're very good.
601
00:43:41,820 --> 00:43:45,023
- Too bad it's their
farewell appearance.
602
00:43:45,056 --> 00:43:48,994
Haven't you heard?
There's only one tenure slot available.
603
00:43:49,027 --> 00:43:51,897
Next year, one of them will be
here, and one of them won't.
604
00:43:52,864 --> 00:43:54,199
Didn't he tell you?
605
00:43:55,166 --> 00:43:56,234
No.
606
00:43:57,102 --> 00:43:58,737
Suppose you do.
607
00:44:00,305 --> 00:44:04,976
* Oh,
gee but ain't it grand to have a gal so big and fat
608
00:44:05,010 --> 00:44:08,446
* That when you go to hug her,
you don't know where you're at
609
00:44:08,479 --> 00:44:12,017
* You have to take a piece of
chalk in your hand
610
00:44:12,050 --> 00:44:17,422
* And hug away and chalk a mark to see where you began one day
611
00:44:17,455 --> 00:44:21,893
* I was a-huggin' and a-chalkin' and a-chalkin' and a-huggin'
612
00:44:21,927 --> 00:44:24,162
* Away
613
00:44:24,195 --> 00:44:30,936
* When I met another fellow
with some chalk in his hand
614
00:44:30,969 --> 00:44:36,141
* A comin' around
the other way *
615
00:44:43,448 --> 00:44:45,016
Good to see you.
616
00:44:46,351 --> 00:44:47,352
See ya.
617
00:44:49,454 --> 00:44:51,289
- Vaguely.
618
00:44:54,292 --> 00:44:55,761
Professor Watson.
619
00:44:57,462 --> 00:45:02,467
Hi. I'm sorry I'm late, but, uh, well,
I just really wanted to say hello.
620
00:45:02,500 --> 00:45:06,004
- Tricia, this is
Eden Marshall.
621
00:45:06,037 --> 00:45:08,273
Mrs. Watson.
For a couple of years before I left,
622
00:45:08,306 --> 00:45:10,208
Miss Marshall was one of
my researchers.
623
00:45:10,241 --> 00:45:11,943
Oh. Graduate student.
624
00:45:12,978 --> 00:45:16,782
Perennially.
Mrs. Watson, I, um...
625
00:45:16,815 --> 00:45:19,084
I, uh, I hope I'm not being
626
00:45:19,117 --> 00:45:23,088
out of line or, uh,
insensitive, but, um,
627
00:45:23,121 --> 00:45:24,823
I was very fond of Susan.
628
00:45:24,856 --> 00:45:27,759
She made me feel like
I was part of the family.
629
00:45:28,827 --> 00:45:30,829
Well, I, um...
630
00:45:30,862 --> 00:45:34,365
I just hope that, um, perhaps one day,
maybe you and I can have
631
00:45:34,399 --> 00:45:36,334
that same kind of
relationship.
632
00:45:36,367 --> 00:45:38,870
- I'd like that very much.
- Thank you.
633
00:45:40,471 --> 00:45:42,740
It's good to have you back,
professor.
634
00:45:44,142 --> 00:45:45,310
You're lovely.
635
00:45:47,012 --> 00:45:48,980
Bye.
636
00:45:49,014 --> 00:45:51,016
- As bright as she looks.
637
00:45:51,049 --> 00:45:54,119
I would have thought brighter
and just about 22.
638
00:45:54,152 --> 00:45:56,154
- Private joke.
639
00:46:00,325 --> 00:46:02,460
Well, what did you think of
campus life?
640
00:46:03,494 --> 00:46:05,563
I liked it.
641
00:46:05,596 --> 00:46:07,966
That doesn't sound like a
resounding endorsement.
642
00:46:07,999 --> 00:46:11,302
It wasn't meant to be.
I didn't love it. I liked it.
643
00:46:11,336 --> 00:46:12,370
Oh.
644
00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:31,556
Thank you.
645
00:46:31,589 --> 00:46:34,125
All right, the girl worked with me for three years.
It was all business.
646
00:46:34,159 --> 00:46:36,127
- Absolutely nothing happened.
- What a waste.
647
00:46:36,161 --> 00:46:38,029
She had her job to do,
and I had mine.
648
00:46:38,063 --> 00:46:39,965
We behaved like two
professionals.
649
00:46:39,998 --> 00:46:42,433
I wouldn't be
at all surprised.
650
00:46:46,872 --> 00:46:50,508
May I ask you a question?
Do you mind if I ask you a question?
651
00:46:50,541 --> 00:46:53,578
You seem to have a problem.
One hell of a problem!
652
00:46:53,611 --> 00:46:56,047
Would you mind telling
me what it is!
653
00:46:56,081 --> 00:46:59,184
All right!
And it has nothing to do with your demure and nubile fellow worker.
654
00:46:59,217 --> 00:47:00,986
You have come back
and discovered
655
00:47:01,019 --> 00:47:02,487
you are in a battle for existence with your closest friend
656
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:05,891
and you have chosen to tell me not one word about it!
657
00:47:05,924 --> 00:47:09,060
Sounds like you and Ellie got
real friendly real fast!
658
00:47:09,094 --> 00:47:10,962
Something like that.
659
00:47:10,996 --> 00:47:12,597
But What if I wanted to shield you from what actually goes on...
660
00:47:12,630 --> 00:47:16,534
Shielded is something we
agreed I didn't need to be!
661
00:47:16,567 --> 00:47:18,336
Well, maybe you just do!
662
00:47:18,369 --> 00:47:21,106
You come riding in here like
Alice in wonderland with your
663
00:47:21,139 --> 00:47:23,308
head 28 miles above
acceptable reality.
664
00:47:23,341 --> 00:47:24,976
What's gonna make me think
that you'd...
665
00:47:25,010 --> 00:47:26,477
You have deliberately
excluded me from the
666
00:47:26,511 --> 00:47:28,446
most serious problem a husband
and wife can face.
667
00:47:28,479 --> 00:47:31,216
You and I made a deal,
and it happens to mean something to me!
668
00:47:31,249 --> 00:47:33,118
- Making myself a bed.
669
00:47:33,151 --> 00:47:35,220
You've got a bed!
670
00:47:35,253 --> 00:47:38,423
Either I am your wife in every sense of the word,
or I am not your wife at all.
671
00:47:38,456 --> 00:47:40,525
You know something?
You're lying to yourself.
672
00:47:40,558 --> 00:47:43,361
That was a nice little speech you gave about sharing, lovely, noble,
673
00:47:43,394 --> 00:47:46,231
but it has nothing to do with what's really going on in your head!
674
00:47:46,264 --> 00:47:49,234
- No, it doesn't!
Ever since you came in here
675
00:47:49,267 --> 00:47:52,137
this afternoon and we played that little scene out of Blithe Spirit...
676
00:47:52,170 --> 00:47:53,671
- Good night!
677
00:47:53,704 --> 00:47:56,607
You've been thinking of ways to stay out of that bed in there!
678
00:47:56,641 --> 00:48:00,045
To you, this is still Susan's house,
I'm still Susan's husband,
679
00:48:00,078 --> 00:48:01,879
and that's still Susan's bed!
680
00:48:04,983 --> 00:48:06,184
Oh! Ah!
681
00:48:11,156 --> 00:48:14,592
Okay! Let's get in the god damned bed,
whosever it is!
682
00:48:18,329 --> 00:48:21,299
Mmm! Tell me.
683
00:48:21,666 --> 00:48:23,601
Hmm?
684
00:48:23,634 --> 00:48:27,905
- Mine.
685
00:48:29,474 --> 00:48:33,611
Mine.
686
00:48:35,246 --> 00:48:40,151
- The ace furniture company's
and mine.
687
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,689
But that mangy cat
is still Susan's,
688
00:48:44,722 --> 00:48:47,492
so would you get her
fat ass off my legs?
689
00:48:50,328 --> 00:48:52,430
- Psst! Psst! Psst!
690
00:48:54,632 --> 00:48:57,335
- Thank you.
- It was nothing.
691
00:49:09,614 --> 00:49:13,684
- Hey! Professor Watson. Welcome home.
- Thank you, Reilly.
692
00:49:13,718 --> 00:49:17,355
Listen, I understand that you're gonna be teaching Emily Dickinson
693
00:49:17,388 --> 00:49:21,426
and the 18th-century novel and that course in nouvelle vague cinema.
694
00:49:21,459 --> 00:49:23,294
Yeah, that's right.
695
00:49:23,328 --> 00:49:26,097
Would you mind if I drop in on that class every once in a while?
696
00:49:26,131 --> 00:49:29,400
- Anytime.
- I'm into all of that cinematic crap.
697
00:49:29,434 --> 00:49:32,470
I can handle it between psychology three and getting my car washed.
698
00:49:32,503 --> 00:49:34,739
Great.
699
00:49:34,772 --> 00:49:38,209
By the way, Professor,
I was very sorry to hear about your good lady's passing.
700
00:49:38,243 --> 00:49:41,479
- Thank you, Reilly.
- God bless you, Professor.
701
00:49:41,512 --> 00:49:44,282
- I remarried.
- God forgive you, Professor.
702
00:49:55,126 --> 00:49:57,495
Hi, Jimmy.
Still shooting speed?
703
00:49:57,528 --> 00:49:59,564
Yeah! Straight in.
You got some?
704
00:50:00,665 --> 00:50:02,333
Hi, Dana.
705
00:50:06,104 --> 00:50:07,638
"These are the days when the
birds come back,
706
00:50:07,672 --> 00:50:10,241
"the very few, a bird or two,
to take a backward look.
707
00:50:10,275 --> 00:50:13,744
"These are the days when the skies resume the old,
old sophistries of June,"
708
00:50:13,778 --> 00:50:14,779
et cetera, et cetera.
709
00:50:19,117 --> 00:50:23,254
Hello. Um, you must be Mr.
Sanders, and this must be Peppy.
710
00:50:23,288 --> 00:50:26,057
That's right. Oh, well, uh...
711
00:50:26,091 --> 00:50:29,160
- Let him off the leash.
- He's pretty rambunctious.
712
00:50:29,194 --> 00:50:31,562
Oh, he's just happy to
be home. Aren't you, boy?
713
00:50:31,596 --> 00:50:34,465
- Come on. Come on.
- Okay, ma'am.
714
00:50:36,167 --> 00:50:38,136
- Oh!
715
00:50:40,771 --> 00:50:42,807
- Do you want me to take him back?
- No, no.
716
00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:44,575
I expect I can manage.
717
00:50:44,609 --> 00:50:48,513
- Okay, ma'am.
Have a nice day.
718
00:50:48,546 --> 00:50:51,349
- We're in the book.
719
00:50:55,153 --> 00:50:58,456
Next week's subject will be varieties of lyrical form in the poetry
720
00:50:58,489 --> 00:51:01,292
of Emily Dickinson.
Read it. Class dismissed.
721
00:51:17,208 --> 00:51:20,678
- I said, class dismissed.
- What a lovely idea.
722
00:51:21,912 --> 00:51:23,748
They've all gone.
723
00:51:26,484 --> 00:51:29,454
- You.
724
00:51:29,487 --> 00:51:33,191
Adam, you've been gone a long time.
A girl gets kind of lonely.
725
00:51:33,224 --> 00:51:35,660
A man gets kind of married.
Fini.
726
00:51:38,629 --> 00:51:42,433
Well, surely it wouldn't hurt to have an
innocent cup of coffee now and then at,
727
00:51:42,467 --> 00:51:44,769
um, some innocuous
little spot like
728
00:51:44,802 --> 00:51:48,105
daddy's skiing lodge in front of a roaring fire with all our clothes off?
729
00:51:50,241 --> 00:51:53,411
Eden, there's a lot of work to be done on the book,
and I'm gonna need your help,
730
00:51:53,444 --> 00:51:56,914
but that's what it's gotta be
work and that's all.
731
00:51:56,947 --> 00:52:01,619
- And what do we do during our coffee breaks?
- We drink coffee, play chess.
732
00:52:01,652 --> 00:52:04,355
Great.
733
00:52:04,389 --> 00:52:07,692
Boy, Adam, when you dismiss a class,
you sure do dismiss it, don't you?
734
00:52:15,766 --> 00:52:17,168
Um.
735
00:52:23,308 --> 00:52:25,410
Oh! Ah!
736
00:52:27,812 --> 00:52:32,383
Ah! Ah! Uh! Ow!
737
00:52:33,284 --> 00:52:35,553
Oh! Okay, you wanna fight?
738
00:52:35,586 --> 00:52:37,688
Fight!
739
00:52:39,657 --> 00:52:40,691
Oh! Oh!
740
00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:45,730
Professor Watson, can I still
register in your cinema class?
741
00:52:45,763 --> 00:52:48,266
Can I see you at office tomorrow, Ruth?
I got a little problem at home.
742
00:52:48,299 --> 00:52:49,400
Yeah, sure.
743
00:52:55,640 --> 00:52:59,277
- I'm here!
- Whoa!
744
00:53:01,479 --> 00:53:04,415
- Oh, my god.
- Oh, Adam, I've made such a mess.
745
00:53:04,449 --> 00:53:05,816
Oh, it's all right.
It doesn't matter.
746
00:53:05,850 --> 00:53:10,521
Oh, but in my own
self-defense...
747
00:53:10,555 --> 00:53:13,724
That is no ordinary thing.
It is possessed of the devil,
748
00:53:13,758 --> 00:53:16,561
it's evil, and it's after me!
749
00:53:16,594 --> 00:53:20,331
Trish, Trish. It hasn't been used in a year.
We can just call a plumber.
750
00:53:20,365 --> 00:53:22,833
I don't think you need a plumber.
I think you should call an exorcist.
751
00:53:22,867 --> 00:53:25,970
Oh, god. I'm so sorry. I mean,
as though you haven't got enough to worry about
752
00:53:26,003 --> 00:53:28,373
without me turning the kitchen into a swimming pool.
753
00:53:28,406 --> 00:53:31,576
I meant to have everything so
clean and bright and fresh.
754
00:53:31,609 --> 00:53:34,479
The whole kitchen is
so sort of, I mean...
755
00:53:39,884 --> 00:53:45,323
Oh, Peppy, Peppy, baby!
Oh, Peppy, you're home!
756
00:53:45,356 --> 00:53:48,726
Look at you. Look how you've grown.
Oh, hello, Peppy.
757
00:53:48,759 --> 00:53:53,998
You look beautiful. Look at your fur.
It's so thick and rich.
758
00:53:54,031 --> 00:53:57,368
Yes, darling, you...
Yeah, sweetheart?
759
00:53:57,402 --> 00:53:59,670
Would you two
like to be alone?
760
00:53:59,704 --> 00:54:02,607
Oh. Oh, sorry, darling.
Uh, uh, Peppy?
761
00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:05,009
Say hello to your mother.
Say hello to your new mom.
762
00:54:05,042 --> 00:54:07,478
Well, actually,
we've already met.
763
00:54:07,512 --> 00:54:11,449
Ah. Then get the hell out of here so mommy
and daddy can fix the washing machine.
764
00:54:11,482 --> 00:54:12,917
Go ahead. Go ahead.
765
00:55:01,799 --> 00:55:03,934
- I'm coming!
766
00:55:07,705 --> 00:55:10,641
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey! Hey, hey!
767
00:55:10,675 --> 00:55:11,809
Hey!
768
00:55:24,522 --> 00:55:25,656
Hi.
769
00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:29,660
Isn't it rather early for a
wine break?
770
00:55:29,694 --> 00:55:32,530
If I'd known you were going to do crosswords,
you could've carried my shopping.
771
00:56:07,498 --> 00:56:08,999
Get that, will you, honey?
772
00:56:09,033 --> 00:56:12,537
You get it.
It's your mother's Saturday-morning call.
773
00:56:12,570 --> 00:56:15,005
11:00.
I set my watch by it.
774
00:56:15,039 --> 00:56:17,007
Hold this, will you, honey?
775
00:56:22,913 --> 00:56:24,882
- Hello.
- Hello, love.
776
00:56:24,915 --> 00:56:26,651
Hello, Jem.
How are ya?
777
00:56:26,684 --> 00:56:30,588
Wonderful, darling.
Listen, have I got a coup for you!
778
00:56:30,621 --> 00:56:32,657
What do you mean got a
coup for me?
779
00:56:32,690 --> 00:56:35,993
Suppose I told you the most
controversial film critic
780
00:56:36,026 --> 00:56:38,629
in the entire world has agreed
to come up to school,
781
00:56:38,663 --> 00:56:41,666
be your own personal guest for
dinner, and give a lecture?
782
00:56:41,699 --> 00:56:43,768
- That's right!
783
00:56:43,801 --> 00:56:46,837
You're going to be very selective about your guest list.
784
00:56:46,871 --> 00:56:48,939
Isn't that a little obvious,
mom?
785
00:56:48,973 --> 00:56:51,576
Obvious?
John Schuster's a star.
786
00:56:51,609 --> 00:56:53,944
He's way up there.
He's a literary astronaut, for Christ's sake!
787
00:56:53,978 --> 00:56:56,447
You've gotta start putting yourself in that kind of orbit!
788
00:56:56,481 --> 00:56:58,148
But, mom...
789
00:56:58,182 --> 00:57:00,518
You want to hand Lenny that tenure slot all tied up with a pretty
790
00:57:00,551 --> 00:57:03,654
red ribbon like some friggin' faggot valentine?
Go ahead and do it.
791
00:57:03,688 --> 00:57:06,991
All right, mom. Whatever you say.
What do you want me to do?
792
00:57:07,024 --> 00:57:09,527
- Now, you gotta have Paul and Mavis Bryce,
- Yes.
793
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:11,929
- Zelda and Julian Scott.
- Okay.
794
00:57:11,962 --> 00:57:13,731
Oh, Fred and Helen Connelly.
- Yeah.
795
00:57:13,764 --> 00:57:15,800
What about that
Chaucer scholar,
796
00:57:15,833 --> 00:57:17,802
Dr. Wilson.
Does he still mean anything?
797
00:57:17,835 --> 00:57:20,571
Yeah, he's still on the committee for promotion of tenure.
798
00:57:20,605 --> 00:57:22,707
- Oh, good. Get him.
- All right, we'll have him.
799
00:57:22,740 --> 00:57:24,875
- Oh, and the Browns!
- Yeah, yeah! We will get them.
800
00:57:24,909 --> 00:57:28,546
Look, ma, Tricia will handle it.
I'll tell her.
801
00:57:28,579 --> 00:57:32,016
Oh, wonderful, love!
Oh, and remember, Adam.
802
00:57:32,049 --> 00:57:36,687
I brought you up in a moral atmosphere of honesty,
decency and integrity,
803
00:57:36,721 --> 00:57:39,189
but this is survival time,
so forget all that shit
804
00:57:39,223 --> 00:57:41,859
and get yourself some brownie points!
Goodbye, love.
805
00:57:42,993 --> 00:57:44,729
Well, I'll say one thing,
806
00:57:44,762 --> 00:57:46,831
you were dead right, honey.
That was Jem on the phone.
807
00:57:46,864 --> 00:57:49,099
Will you please stop calling
me honey?
808
00:57:49,133 --> 00:57:51,569
It's one of those Americanisms I find particularly irritating.
809
00:57:51,602 --> 00:57:54,639
Another is "have a nice day,"
which Americans insist on doing,
810
00:57:54,672 --> 00:57:57,241
usually on days when you're not having a nice day like for instance today.
811
00:57:57,274 --> 00:57:59,276
What is bugging you?
812
00:57:59,309 --> 00:58:01,979
Your friend Julian just stopped by for a heart to heart to heart.
813
00:58:02,012 --> 00:58:05,583
Oh really?
And just how heart-to-heart was that heart
814
00:58:05,616 --> 00:58:08,886
Why didn't you tell me you'd had a
bonafide offer from another university?
815
00:58:08,919 --> 00:58:11,556
Because that university
is not a university.
816
00:58:11,589 --> 00:58:13,691
I don't care about the quality
of the school!
817
00:58:13,724 --> 00:58:17,728
You get major degrees there in horseshoes,
tobacco spitting, and chicken plucking!
818
00:58:17,762 --> 00:58:19,930
What I care about...
819
00:58:19,964 --> 00:58:23,768
You don't take entrance exams!
If you rape your sister by the time she's 15, you're in!
820
00:58:23,801 --> 00:58:26,904
- What I care about...
821
00:58:26,937 --> 00:58:28,706
Oh, thank you.
822
00:58:28,739 --> 00:58:32,577
What I care about is that you have again
excluded me from a vital decision which affects
823
00:58:32,610 --> 00:58:35,279
both our lives,
deliberately and deceitfully.
824
00:58:35,312 --> 00:58:37,782
Deceitfully? Well, let me
tell you something.
825
00:58:37,815 --> 00:58:40,150
There are certain decisions
I plan making by myself
826
00:58:40,184 --> 00:58:43,253
because you don't know dick about them,
and you have the ego to think you do!
827
00:58:44,254 --> 00:58:45,690
Thank you very much.
828
00:58:45,723 --> 00:58:48,258
You're very, very welcome.
829
00:58:48,292 --> 00:58:49,927
Have a nice day.
830
00:58:51,896 --> 00:58:53,197
You, too, honey.
831
00:59:04,809 --> 00:59:06,911
- It's coming.
832
00:59:06,944 --> 00:59:09,313
- Soon, Julian. Soon.
833
00:59:09,346 --> 00:59:10,547
Ah!
834
00:59:13,183 --> 00:59:15,319
There must be some topic of
conversation around here other
835
00:59:15,352 --> 00:59:17,588
than when I finish my
goddamn manuscript.
836
00:59:17,622 --> 00:59:19,323
Eight-Six.
Are you ready?
837
00:59:19,356 --> 00:59:22,159
Adam, I'm running out of time.
What do I tell the Granville people?
838
00:59:22,192 --> 00:59:24,028
Who cares?
839
00:59:24,061 --> 00:59:26,096
Why don't you go have another heart-to-heart talk with my wife?
840
00:59:26,130 --> 00:59:28,198
The two of you can
decide what I should do.
841
00:59:28,232 --> 00:59:32,002
But don't tell me about it. Keep it to yourself,
that really helps things a lot.
842
00:59:32,036 --> 00:59:34,038
And besides, how come you
always come up with these
843
00:59:34,071 --> 00:59:36,073
crappy kinds of conversation
every time you're losing?
844
00:59:36,106 --> 00:59:37,642
I don't come here
to win or lose!
845
00:59:37,675 --> 00:59:39,710
What do I care who wins a
lousy squash game.
846
00:59:39,744 --> 00:59:41,679
I just come down here to work up a sweat and take a shower
847
00:59:41,712 --> 00:59:43,848
so when I go home
I won't hit my kid!
848
00:59:43,881 --> 00:59:46,751
I've seen your kids.
You're making a big mistake.
849
00:59:46,784 --> 00:59:49,119
- Yeah.
850
00:59:58,028 --> 01:00:02,032
- Ah!
- Okay, that's it.
851
01:00:02,066 --> 01:00:05,102
You owe me a buck.
How about a drink?
852
01:00:05,135 --> 01:00:08,739
That's another thing, Adam.
You've been lapping up a lot of booze lately.
853
01:00:08,773 --> 01:00:10,641
Okay, Julian,
I get the message.
854
01:00:10,675 --> 01:00:13,310
You're having problems at home.
Can't touch your wife, right?
855
01:00:13,343 --> 01:00:17,314
So you got a lot of sexual fantasies
going on up there in old pornoville, huh?
856
01:00:17,347 --> 01:00:20,084
So you need a whipping boy to lay it off on.
What are friends for?
857
01:00:20,117 --> 01:00:21,551
Whip away!
858
01:00:21,585 --> 01:00:24,889
Isn't this the day Professor Hurley's
evaluating your Emily Dickinson class?
859
01:00:24,922 --> 01:00:27,257
- Don't even take time
to shower.
860
01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:30,627
Go straight to a bar.
You'll need all the confidence you can swallow.
861
01:00:38,202 --> 01:00:40,404
All right.
We're going to go over this material one more time,
862
01:00:40,437 --> 01:00:44,408
and one only, so
this time, get it straight.
863
01:00:44,441 --> 01:00:47,311
"Because I could not stop for death,
he kindly stopped for me.
864
01:00:47,344 --> 01:00:49,814
"The carriage held but just
ourselves and immortality."
865
01:00:49,847 --> 01:00:53,183
That's the start of one of Emily Dickinson's most important poems.
866
01:00:53,217 --> 01:00:56,086
I want to know the structure, style,
and an approximate date.
867
01:00:56,120 --> 01:00:57,722
You there Engel.
868
01:00:59,156 --> 01:01:00,424
Yeah, you.
869
01:01:02,059 --> 01:01:03,293
It's, uh, I...
870
01:01:05,129 --> 01:01:07,064
It, uh, it's...
871
01:01:08,265 --> 01:01:10,434
- It's Emily Dickinson!
872
01:01:10,467 --> 01:01:12,903
Thank you, Engel.
That's also the name of the course.
873
01:01:14,204 --> 01:01:17,407
I asked for the structure,
style, and date of the poem.
874
01:01:17,441 --> 01:01:21,345
Structure and style
is, um...
875
01:01:21,378 --> 01:01:24,314
I do know that, sir.
I had it.
876
01:01:24,348 --> 01:01:28,052
Last night I was saying it
over and over again.
877
01:01:28,085 --> 01:01:30,487
If you can't say it now,
you don't know it, you never did know it,
878
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:32,923
and you never will know it.
879
01:01:32,957 --> 01:01:36,927
You'll find the answer on page 191 of the Pearlmutter dissertation.
880
01:01:36,961 --> 01:01:41,799
Now try this one. "Wild nights,
Wild nights! Were I with thee, wild nights
881
01:01:41,832 --> 01:01:43,734
"should be our luxury."
882
01:01:50,941 --> 01:01:52,843
You there, Miss, um...
883
01:01:52,877 --> 01:01:56,814
I'd like structure,
style, and date.
884
01:01:56,847 --> 01:02:00,350
I'm sorry. I know your name.
It's at the tip of my tongue. It must've slipped my mind.
885
01:02:00,384 --> 01:02:02,820
If you can't say it now,
you don't know it, you never did know it,
886
01:02:02,853 --> 01:02:03,888
you never will know it.
887
01:02:06,857 --> 01:02:09,159
- Class dismissed.
888
01:02:13,964 --> 01:02:16,000
I like to keep things loose.
889
01:02:16,433 --> 01:02:18,002
So I noticed.
890
01:02:26,076 --> 01:02:27,311
Problems?
891
01:02:27,344 --> 01:02:32,182
Hmm. I think I just got
a lousy evaluation.
892
01:02:32,216 --> 01:02:35,519
Adam, you've got to get your manuscript done,
and you only have one week left.
893
01:02:35,552 --> 01:02:37,154
I know it. I know it.
894
01:02:38,255 --> 01:02:40,224
Come up to my place.
You work better there.
895
01:02:41,391 --> 01:02:44,428
- And I mean work.
- Thanks, Eden.
896
01:02:45,195 --> 01:02:46,396
Okay.
897
01:02:56,006 --> 01:02:57,975
Hello.
898
01:02:58,008 --> 01:02:59,376
Oh, hello, Jemmy.
899
01:03:00,377 --> 01:03:02,279
What?
900
01:03:02,312 --> 01:03:04,581
What dinner party?
901
01:03:04,614 --> 01:03:06,851
- Of course, tonight!
902
01:03:06,884 --> 01:03:09,453
I told Adam ages ago.
He said you'd handle it!
903
01:03:09,486 --> 01:03:11,088
Oh, terrific.
904
01:03:11,121 --> 01:03:13,223
Listen darling, you're married
to a bit of an asshole,
905
01:03:13,257 --> 01:03:14,859
so here's what you're
going to have to do.
906
01:03:36,313 --> 01:03:38,382
Come on in.
The door's open.
907
01:03:38,415 --> 01:03:40,985
Is professor Watson here, please?
I was told he might
908
01:03:42,652 --> 01:03:44,254
be here.
909
01:03:44,288 --> 01:03:46,323
Hi. We were just taking
a little break.
910
01:03:46,356 --> 01:03:48,592
- So I see.
911
01:03:48,625 --> 01:03:50,560
You mean besides her skirt?
912
01:03:50,594 --> 01:03:52,062
What the hell's
that supposed to mean?
913
01:03:52,096 --> 01:03:53,964
Could I have a word
with you, please?
914
01:03:53,998 --> 01:03:56,033
- Certainly.
915
01:03:58,635 --> 01:04:00,070
- Well.
916
01:04:00,104 --> 01:04:03,173
Your mother just telephoned.
Apparently I'm expected to give a dinner party
917
01:04:03,207 --> 01:04:05,609
this evening for some critic.
- That's right.
918
01:04:05,642 --> 01:04:07,077
What do you mean
that's right?
919
01:04:07,111 --> 01:04:08,979
I mean that's right.
That's what we planned.
920
01:04:09,013 --> 01:04:11,215
- We did. You and I.
921
01:04:11,248 --> 01:04:13,217
- No, we didn't.
922
01:04:13,250 --> 01:04:15,319
The only planning that's been done has been done by the woman
923
01:04:15,352 --> 01:04:16,620
who's planned everything in your life so far.
Dear sweet Jemmy.
924
01:04:16,653 --> 01:04:19,223
- Now just a sec...
- And if you think
925
01:04:19,256 --> 01:04:22,492
I am going to give a dinner party for some pompous, self-adoring
926
01:04:22,526 --> 01:04:26,396
intellectual piranha who feeds on real
talent so that he can get into movies free...
927
01:04:26,430 --> 01:04:28,632
- I take it you don't like him.
- That is an understatement.
928
01:04:28,665 --> 01:04:31,068
All right. Forget it!
Just forget it! Forget it!
929
01:04:31,101 --> 01:04:34,504
We'll go to a restaurant.
You pick up a phone and you invite a few people!
930
01:04:34,538 --> 01:04:36,106
Can you handle that?
931
01:04:36,140 --> 01:04:38,375
Oh I can, but I won't, because
I might invite someone
932
01:04:38,408 --> 01:04:39,944
who won't be able
to do you any good.
933
01:04:39,977 --> 01:04:42,947
And what do you suggest
we do then?
934
01:04:42,980 --> 01:04:45,649
I suggest you ask your
bright little assistant
935
01:04:45,682 --> 01:04:48,285
to cover her genitalia long enough to pick up a telephone and invite
936
01:04:48,318 --> 01:04:50,687
whoever you wish to
impress to your party.
937
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:53,123
Now, just a minute.
It's not what you think it is.
938
01:04:53,157 --> 01:04:57,394
Oh, please,
let us not dignify this tawdry tableau with explanations.
939
01:04:57,427 --> 01:04:59,329
I am going to leave quietly,
940
01:04:59,363 --> 01:05:01,265
and I hope with
a little dignity.
941
01:05:01,298 --> 01:05:05,535
You two can get on with whatever it is
that gets you through the afternoon.
942
01:05:05,569 --> 01:05:08,172
Incidentally, Miss Marshall.
How old are you?
943
01:05:08,705 --> 01:05:10,174
22.
944
01:05:10,207 --> 01:05:11,275
Aha!
945
01:05:32,496 --> 01:05:35,565
Ladies and gentlemen,
before we adjourn to the lecture hall, I would like to thank
946
01:05:35,599 --> 01:05:39,336
assistant-professor Watson for arranging this delightful dinner,
947
01:05:39,369 --> 01:05:42,706
and I would like to propose a toast to our esteemed guest
948
01:05:42,739 --> 01:05:47,611
and lecturer, John Schuster,
America's most incisive, acerbic,
949
01:05:47,644 --> 01:05:49,613
and least-intimidated
film critic.
950
01:05:51,548 --> 01:05:54,418
Sir, your health,
if you don't mind drinking to it with a somewhat
951
01:05:54,451 --> 01:05:56,686
modest domestic vintage.
952
01:05:56,720 --> 01:05:58,188
Thank you.
953
01:05:58,222 --> 01:06:01,358
I find American wines
like American movies.
954
01:06:01,391 --> 01:06:05,362
Most of them hard to swallow,
but occasionally you get lucky.
955
01:06:05,395 --> 01:06:08,398
We're all looking forward to your lecture this evening,
Mr. Schuster.
956
01:06:08,432 --> 01:06:10,400
Tell me. Whose work are you...
957
01:06:10,434 --> 01:06:12,336
More, please!
958
01:06:12,369 --> 01:06:16,740
Analyzing, delineating,
and generally kicking the crap out of tonight?
959
01:06:18,275 --> 01:06:23,747
Uh, tonight it's an accolade to a young
and exciting Italian Armando Triosi,
960
01:06:23,780 --> 01:06:26,750
an important
and iconoclastic new talent.
961
01:06:26,783 --> 01:06:30,420
He's the young director,
for instance, who said,
962
01:06:30,454 --> 01:06:34,224
"A film story should have a beginning,
a middle, and an end,
963
01:06:34,258 --> 01:06:37,194
"but not necessarily
in that order."
964
01:06:37,227 --> 01:06:40,097
Wrong. He didn't say that.
965
01:06:40,130 --> 01:06:42,232
I know because I was there.
966
01:06:42,266 --> 01:06:43,700
I heard it.
967
01:06:43,733 --> 01:06:47,637
It was Godard or Truffaut or
one of those real directors,
968
01:06:47,671 --> 01:06:51,775
and I sat there... Oh, sorry, darling,
did I catch you?
969
01:06:51,808 --> 01:06:55,512
Sat there applauding just as though I
knew exactly what he was talking about.
970
01:06:56,713 --> 01:06:59,516
Triosi, nonetheless,
is a master.
971
01:06:59,549 --> 01:07:02,419
Take his first film,
Recherch.
972
01:07:02,452 --> 01:07:06,156
Any filmmaker who does not learn the
techniques employed in this finely planned
973
01:07:06,190 --> 01:07:08,658
work is closing his eyes
on the wave of the future.
974
01:07:08,692 --> 01:07:10,026
Wrong!
975
01:07:11,428 --> 01:07:14,298
My late husband's ex-company.
976
01:07:14,831 --> 01:07:17,101
No, that's not right.
977
01:07:17,134 --> 01:07:19,669
My ex-husband's late company.
That's right.
978
01:07:19,703 --> 01:07:24,374
My ex-husband's late company
financed that film.
979
01:07:24,408 --> 01:07:28,512
A particularly third-rate melodrama,
interesting only because your Italian genius
980
01:07:28,545 --> 01:07:31,681
chose to shoot it in London,
where he fell in love with the buses
981
01:07:31,715 --> 01:07:37,321
and the taxicabs and boys in tight jeans,
very tight jeans.
982
01:07:37,354 --> 01:07:40,357
Real crotch-clutchers, you
know what I mean?
983
01:07:42,159 --> 01:07:44,661
No, you wouldn't know
what I mean. Anyway,
984
01:07:44,694 --> 01:07:46,863
he shot so much of
this that he ran out of money.
985
01:07:46,896 --> 01:07:51,101
- Yes! Well, thank you very much.
- Thank you, darling.
986
01:07:51,135 --> 01:07:54,371
So, they told him he could shoot for three more days,
which he did,
987
01:07:54,404 --> 01:07:58,575
and then he left this mess of garbage to his
cutter to stick together while he high-tailed
988
01:07:58,608 --> 01:08:00,577
it for this Norwegian island
with his Danish boyfriend.
989
01:08:00,610 --> 01:08:02,712
It could've been a Danish island with his Norwegian boyfriend.
990
01:08:02,746 --> 01:08:04,548
And anyway, they had
a fine old time on the fjord.
991
01:08:04,581 --> 01:08:07,817
- I think it would be best now if we...
- I haven't finished.
992
01:08:07,851 --> 01:08:12,356
So, after the film had grossed
$20 million dollars,
993
01:08:12,389 --> 01:08:16,460
my husband and I were taken to this projection booth in New York,
994
01:08:16,493 --> 01:08:21,865
where three pinstriped executives
wound the film down to a single frame,
995
01:08:21,898 --> 01:08:26,403
which showed a 16-year-old girl's pubic hair.
996
01:08:28,605 --> 01:08:32,476
16-year-old girls do have
pubic hair. They really do.
997
01:08:32,509 --> 01:08:35,579
- I should have thought you'd have known that.
- And they assured us that this
998
01:08:35,612 --> 01:08:41,318
single frame was entirely responsible for the success of the film.
999
01:08:41,351 --> 01:08:45,622
So that, Mr. Schuster,
is your wave of the future.
1000
01:08:45,655 --> 01:08:50,260
Long may it wave and bottoms
up, if you know what I mean.
1001
01:08:50,294 --> 01:08:52,929
Check! Could you bring the
check over, please?
1002
01:08:52,962 --> 01:08:55,532
- Why are you asking for the check?
- Because the meal is over.
1003
01:08:55,565 --> 01:08:57,934
But we're not paying for it,
are we? It wasn't very good.
1004
01:08:57,967 --> 01:09:00,770
I'm sure everyone would love
to contribute, wouldn't you?
1005
01:09:00,804 --> 01:09:02,839
Of course you wouldn't.
They're all as hard up as you.
1006
01:09:02,872 --> 01:09:05,275
Incidentally, I've been meaning to speak to you about the money.
1007
01:09:05,309 --> 01:09:07,911
Would you bring the check?
Could you bring the check?
1008
01:09:07,944 --> 01:09:10,814
Are we gonna pay for this!
1009
01:09:39,376 --> 01:09:41,945
Where is the ladies room,
please?
1010
01:09:41,978 --> 01:09:44,848
The ladies' room...
The ladies' room. Right.
1011
01:09:44,881 --> 01:09:50,954
It's just down there where the door is marked, uh, "ladies."
Right. That's it.
1012
01:10:02,366 --> 01:10:06,803
Sorry we, uh,
couldn't make you're sumptuous Chinese dinner along with
1013
01:10:06,836 --> 01:10:10,474
Dr.
Bryce and the other nice people who have to choose between us,
1014
01:10:10,507 --> 01:10:13,577
but it seems we weren't invited.
Listen, Lenny,
1015
01:10:13,610 --> 01:10:17,647
- I was going to, honestly, but I...
- Suppose you listen.
1016
01:10:17,681 --> 01:10:21,385
You scored tonight,
but the big crunch between us is our manuscripts,
1017
01:10:21,418 --> 01:10:24,554
and I'm submitting mine on Monday.
That's six days, Adam.
1018
01:10:25,322 --> 01:10:26,723
And that's it.
1019
01:10:29,459 --> 01:10:30,760
Bye, Ellie.
1020
01:10:35,399 --> 01:10:38,902
- Oh, nothing. Nothing.
1021
01:10:38,935 --> 01:10:43,840
You, uh, you seemed upset. Did, uh,
Lenny just say what I think he just said?
1022
01:10:43,873 --> 01:10:47,611
- I'm all right, Eden.
- No, you're not, Adam.
1023
01:10:47,644 --> 01:10:49,479
I can tell when
you're in real trouble.
1024
01:10:49,513 --> 01:10:53,450
I always could.
Adam, you've got all the research done.
1025
01:10:53,483 --> 01:10:55,452
It's just a matter of putting it all together,
and you've
1026
01:10:55,485 --> 01:10:57,387
got to do that alone.
1027
01:10:58,322 --> 01:11:00,357
Maybe you're right.
1028
01:11:00,390 --> 01:11:05,495
So, why don't you go up to, uh,
daddy's ski lodge? You know where the key is.
1029
01:11:05,529 --> 01:11:07,597
You know when it's available.
1030
01:11:07,631 --> 01:11:10,767
- Yeah, it's okay.
1031
01:11:13,670 --> 01:11:17,307
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
1032
01:11:33,523 --> 01:11:35,959
What do you mean, "What did who mean?"
You know perfectly well who I
1033
01:11:35,992 --> 01:11:38,662
mean when I say "what did she mean?"
Who else would I mean?
1034
01:11:38,695 --> 01:11:40,096
I mean, what's-her-name.
1035
01:11:40,129 --> 01:11:42,065
- Exactly.
1036
01:11:42,098 --> 01:11:45,535
- I don't know what you're
talking about.
1037
01:11:45,569 --> 01:11:48,505
- No, I don't.
1038
01:11:48,538 --> 01:11:52,642
Well, then listen very
carefully, my dear Professor.
1039
01:11:52,676 --> 01:11:57,614
When a 22-year-old girl says to an older man,
"you know where the key is,"
1040
01:11:57,647 --> 01:12:01,017
she knows that he knows exactly where the key is and what it opens.
1041
01:12:01,050 --> 01:12:03,953
But when she adds,
"and you know when it's available,"
1042
01:12:03,987 --> 01:12:08,057
she knows that he knows of a special
little time and place somewhere and
1043
01:12:08,091 --> 01:12:11,461
they both know where it is,
when it is, and, it pains me to add,
1044
01:12:11,495 --> 01:12:16,132
- what to do with it.
- I don't know what you're getting at.
1045
01:12:16,165 --> 01:12:19,102
Exactly, what happened between you and what's
1046
01:12:19,135 --> 01:12:20,504
- Anytime.
1047
01:12:20,537 --> 01:12:22,572
- Nothing.
- Then why did you say "when"?
1048
01:12:22,606 --> 01:12:25,642
Trish, you're drunk.
How can you carry on like this about a relationship that's
1049
01:12:25,675 --> 01:12:27,544
not only a figment of your imagination,
but that probably
1050
01:12:27,577 --> 01:12:29,546
- Aha! Why did you say
"probably"?
1051
01:12:29,579 --> 01:12:32,949
- Oh, for God's sake!
- All right, exactly what probably happened between you
1052
01:12:32,982 --> 01:12:34,951
- Nothing! Absolutely nothing!
1053
01:12:34,984 --> 01:12:36,352
You satisfied?
1054
01:12:38,588 --> 01:12:39,856
Probably.
1055
01:13:01,478 --> 01:13:03,580
Adam, darling.
1056
01:13:05,048 --> 01:13:08,752
Listen to me.
I do understand. Truly, I do.
1057
01:13:08,785 --> 01:13:11,521
I mean, you're a
normal, healthy male.
1058
01:13:11,555 --> 01:13:16,826
You need reaffirmation of your masculinity and attractiveness.
1059
01:13:16,860 --> 01:13:19,829
My god, all men
have this need.
1060
01:13:19,863 --> 01:13:24,167
It's just that I don't want to be left out of any part of your life.
1061
01:13:24,200 --> 01:13:27,704
I so desperately want to share
every little bit of it.
1062
01:13:27,737 --> 01:13:30,674
- You do understand that, don't you?
- Mmm-hmm.
1063
01:13:30,707 --> 01:13:35,512
Mmm.
So, tell me, darling.
1064
01:13:35,545 --> 01:13:39,816
What really happened between you and what's
1065
01:13:39,849 --> 01:13:42,819
- Hardly anything.
1066
01:13:42,852 --> 01:13:45,522
- Just what it says.
Hardly anything.
1067
01:13:45,555 --> 01:13:47,857
What are you all excited about?
Why are you so upset?
1068
01:13:47,891 --> 01:13:50,927
Because with a 22-year-old,
"hardly anything" unquestionably
1069
01:13:50,960 --> 01:13:52,862
means absolutely everything.
1070
01:13:52,896 --> 01:13:54,798
- Did she take
her clothes off?
1071
01:13:56,600 --> 01:13:58,201
Who? Your mother!
1072
01:13:58,234 --> 01:14:00,069
Who are we talking about?
The readily available researcher.
1073
01:14:00,103 --> 01:14:02,706
Oh, Jesus!
1074
01:14:02,739 --> 01:14:05,575
I asked you
a question!
1075
01:14:07,176 --> 01:14:09,112
Did you take her to bed?
Did she undress?
1076
01:14:11,681 --> 01:14:15,952
- Hardly anything.
- Thank you. Court adjourned.
1077
01:14:17,887 --> 01:14:19,222
Oh, Jesus.
1078
01:14:33,870 --> 01:14:36,973
- Mmm.
1079
01:14:37,006 --> 01:14:40,009
Trish, listen to me.
Please, just for a moment.
1080
01:14:41,044 --> 01:14:42,579
Go away.
1081
01:14:42,612 --> 01:14:44,781
Darling, last night
was insane.
1082
01:14:44,814 --> 01:14:47,584
All it adds up to is that
you married someone
1083
01:14:47,617 --> 01:14:49,619
you thought was a
Greek god, but then you
1084
01:14:49,653 --> 01:14:53,256
discovered that he had feet of clay, and, well,
as my mother says,
1085
01:14:53,289 --> 01:14:54,691
a dallying ding-dong.
1086
01:14:55,959 --> 01:14:59,228
I do not wish to discuss
ding-dongs, dallying,
1087
01:14:59,262 --> 01:15:04,834
dangling, or dingling at 6:00 in the morning!
1088
01:15:04,868 --> 01:15:08,605
I've got a headache.
1089
01:15:08,638 --> 01:15:11,941
I'm going up to the Marshall skiing lodge for five days
1090
01:15:11,975 --> 01:15:15,044
to finish the manuscript,
and I'm going alone.
1091
01:15:15,078 --> 01:15:19,583
Now, listen carefully.
I love you, I need you.
1092
01:15:19,616 --> 01:15:23,052
More than I've ever loved or
needed anyone in my life.
1093
01:15:23,086 --> 01:15:25,655
Promise me you believe that.
1094
01:15:25,689 --> 01:15:27,557
Mmm. Anything.
Anything.
1095
01:15:54,217 --> 01:15:58,688
I mean, he can be so many things.
Petulant, mercurial.
1096
01:15:58,722 --> 01:16:01,257
For a wife, exasperating,
for a mother, perfect.
1097
01:16:01,290 --> 01:16:02,926
I don't know which
man I've married.
1098
01:16:02,959 --> 01:16:04,828
Why don't you go
to someone who does?
1099
01:16:04,861 --> 01:16:06,896
- Susan.
1100
01:16:06,930 --> 01:16:10,600
- Susan is dead.
- When you're charting a horse,
1101
01:16:10,634 --> 01:16:13,703
you've got to know how he'll run in all kinds of weather.
1102
01:16:13,737 --> 01:16:17,607
She kept a book on him. It's called a diary,
but it was a lot more than that.
1103
01:16:17,641 --> 01:16:20,877
She really had the morning
line on your boy.
1104
01:16:20,910 --> 01:16:22,912
Do you think she took it
abroad with her?
1105
01:16:22,946 --> 01:16:25,348
Couldn't afford the overweight.
There were volumes.
1106
01:16:25,381 --> 01:16:29,886
Probably still locked up
around the house somewhere.
1107
01:16:29,919 --> 01:16:33,723
Would you excuse me?
I think I have to go home and do some spring cleaning.
1108
01:16:34,924 --> 01:16:36,259
Happy hunting.
1109
01:16:57,013 --> 01:16:58,381
Oh, um, information,
could you give me
1110
01:16:58,414 --> 01:17:00,316
a number of a local taxi
service please.
1111
01:17:11,928 --> 01:17:14,764
Care to talk about it,
Mrs. W?
1112
01:17:14,798 --> 01:17:18,167
- You seem kind of troubled.
You know,
1113
01:17:18,201 --> 01:17:20,870
a little nervous, kind of agitated-like.
You get the picture?
1114
01:17:20,904 --> 01:17:23,372
Well, Mr.
Reilly, could it be that whatever it is,
1115
01:17:23,406 --> 01:17:25,709
- Oh, sure.
1116
01:17:25,742 --> 01:17:27,844
It could work out that way.
1117
01:17:27,877 --> 01:17:30,246
But it's a shame to see a fellow person in trouble,
you know,
1118
01:17:30,279 --> 01:17:33,950
agitated in this kind of atmosphere where peace and serenity
1119
01:17:33,983 --> 01:17:37,086
reign supreme,
and man reaches out to man.
1120
01:17:37,120 --> 01:17:39,789
- Could you close this partition, please?
- It's not workin'.
1121
01:17:41,424 --> 01:17:45,294
See, that's what brought me up here.
The quest for peace and serenity.
1122
01:17:45,328 --> 01:17:47,430
You should see
where I come from.
1123
01:17:47,463 --> 01:17:51,768
It's a jungle, a cesspool,
teeming with hatred and ethnicity.
1124
01:17:51,801 --> 01:17:53,903
- Are you sure this thing doesn't work?
- Positive.
1125
01:17:53,937 --> 01:17:55,939
A lot of people try it.
1126
01:17:55,972 --> 01:17:58,708
See, it's terrible down
in them cities.
1127
01:17:58,742 --> 01:18:02,946
Filthy, grimy, bloody, violent.
You think my name is Reilly?
1128
01:18:02,979 --> 01:18:05,915
- Actually, I haven't given it much thought.
- Naw, it ain't Reilly.
1129
01:18:05,949 --> 01:18:09,385
I'm an Italian.
But I was raised next to an Irish neighborhood,
1130
01:18:09,418 --> 01:18:11,921
and if I hadn't changed my name,
I couldn't have got home from school
1131
01:18:11,955 --> 01:18:14,290
with both my arms
without the national guard.
1132
01:18:14,323 --> 01:18:16,926
Mr. Reilly.
This may come as something of a shock,
1133
01:18:16,960 --> 01:18:21,064
but your childhood does not hold one shred of enchantment for me.
1134
01:18:21,097 --> 01:18:24,333
It didn't for me, either. I tell you.
After I grew up in New York,
1135
01:18:24,367 --> 01:18:28,171
I drove a hack for 10 years.
But it was like guerrillas' warfare
1136
01:18:28,204 --> 01:18:31,775
with real gorillas. I couldn't take it!
So I moved up to Boston.
1137
01:18:31,808 --> 01:18:34,477
But it was the same thing over there.
I promise you, in Boston,
1138
01:18:34,510 --> 01:18:36,245
if you're Irish and
you commit a murder,
1139
01:18:36,279 --> 01:18:38,381
you get sentenced to
30 days at Harvard.
1140
01:18:38,414 --> 01:18:41,317
If you're Italian,
you get arrested for carrying concealed sandwiches.
1141
01:18:41,350 --> 01:18:43,987
Mr.
Reilly, I'm sure your motives were totally admirable.
1142
01:18:44,020 --> 01:18:46,189
Do you think we could talk
about them some other time?
1143
01:18:46,222 --> 01:18:47,356
- Why, sure!
- Thank you.
1144
01:18:47,390 --> 01:18:49,926
Anytime.
Maybe on the way back.
1145
01:18:49,959 --> 01:18:52,829
- No.
- Listen, do you believe in what Gorki said about
1146
01:18:52,862 --> 01:18:58,134
Mr.
Reilly, the only thing I believe in at this moment is silence.
1147
01:18:58,167 --> 01:19:01,470
- No! And I'm with you on that.
1148
01:19:01,504 --> 01:19:04,240
I don't like people who talk too much.
You know what I mean?
1149
01:19:04,273 --> 01:19:08,744
I certainly do. And, incidentally,
the light has changed.
1150
01:19:17,286 --> 01:19:19,388
- Would you wait for me, please?
- Certainly.
1151
01:19:19,422 --> 01:19:23,292
As long as the meter is running,
you can take all the time you want.
1152
01:19:23,326 --> 01:19:26,195
I'm buying myself a condominium in the south of France.
1153
01:19:38,441 --> 01:19:41,945
Your highness!
Entrez-vous!
1154
01:19:41,978 --> 01:19:43,346
You're just in time
for lunch.
1155
01:19:43,379 --> 01:19:47,150
Uh, I'm, uh, not hungry,
thank you.
1156
01:19:47,183 --> 01:19:51,454
Neither am I.
Thank you. Not at all.
1157
01:19:51,487 --> 01:19:56,926
How about a little drink? You want some bourbon,
some scotch, something like that?
1158
01:19:56,960 --> 01:19:59,428
I don't know. I got an idea.
Why don't we, um, why don't I
1159
01:19:59,462 --> 01:20:04,868
just lift up that fire out there, and, uh,
I've got a nice, soft rug.
1160
01:20:04,901 --> 01:20:08,004
We'll put the rug down.
We'll take off all our clothes, and, uh...
1161
01:20:08,037 --> 01:20:11,074
Well, not all of them,
because it's always great if you leave something on.
1162
01:20:11,107 --> 01:20:13,309
- Shut up!
1163
01:20:15,378 --> 01:20:19,215
Five days you've been here.
Five days. You haven't written a word.
1164
01:20:19,248 --> 01:20:22,852
- Don't tell Lenny.
- Not for five days, not for five months, perhaps not for
1165
01:20:22,886 --> 01:20:25,388
five years,
but certainly not since you met me.
1166
01:20:27,323 --> 01:20:29,425
From the moment
we became lovers,
1167
01:20:29,458 --> 01:20:31,194
I ceased to be a woman for you,
didn't I?
1168
01:20:31,227 --> 01:20:33,396
I became some
sort of sexual therapy.
1169
01:20:33,429 --> 01:20:35,498
A release,
an escape from tension.
1170
01:20:35,531 --> 01:20:37,100
Oh, were you ever!
1171
01:20:39,535 --> 01:20:42,338
You don't want a wife.
1172
01:20:42,371 --> 01:20:46,109
You need some sort of playmate.
Anyone. Anyone will do, just as long
1173
01:20:46,142 --> 01:20:48,177
as they'll keep you company,
stop you looking in the mirror to
1174
01:20:48,211 --> 01:20:51,180
- see who you really are.
- And who may I ask might that be?
1175
01:20:51,214 --> 01:20:53,950
How the hell will I know?
All I know is if there is no convenient
1176
01:20:53,983 --> 01:20:57,153
body around, then a bottle will do.
They are both guarantees that
1177
01:20:57,186 --> 01:21:00,924
your work, tra-la,
will never be finished.
1178
01:21:00,957 --> 01:21:04,093
- Hey, Let's not start getting personal, huh?
- Oh, let's get personal.
1179
01:21:04,127 --> 01:21:08,031
I mean, let's get really personal.
Your work will never be finished,
1180
01:21:08,064 --> 01:21:10,900
and another thing is you are incapable of finishing it.
1181
01:21:10,934 --> 01:21:12,401
Yeah? Where'd you get that
bright idea?
1182
01:21:12,435 --> 01:21:14,403
From a lady
who knew you very well.
1183
01:21:14,437 --> 01:21:17,240
- Susan Watson.
1184
01:21:17,273 --> 01:21:20,609
Remember her?
She was the one before me. And she wrote,
1185
01:21:20,643 --> 01:21:24,380
"Adam will never finish his book."
It's her diary. "Adam will never
1186
01:21:24,413 --> 01:21:28,117
"finish his book.
Because to do so and gain tenure at Winchester."
1187
01:21:28,151 --> 01:21:33,422
Is to confirm his own deep feelings of personal mediocrity."
1188
01:21:33,456 --> 01:21:35,691
There's your goddamn book!
1189
01:21:35,724 --> 01:21:41,064
Typical. Childish, totally pointless.
The point being that you have
1190
01:21:41,097 --> 01:21:45,501
reached the end of your own particular line.
There will be no Harvard,
1191
01:21:45,534 --> 01:21:50,606
no Yale, no Princeton.
Merely tenure at Winchester.
1192
01:21:50,639 --> 01:21:53,076
A second-rate
ivy-league school,
1193
01:21:53,109 --> 01:21:55,979
far below what Jemmy
had planned for you.
1194
01:21:56,012 --> 01:21:58,714
And to let down
good old mother earth
1195
01:21:58,747 --> 01:22:01,717
is a failure punishable
only by death.
1196
01:22:01,750 --> 01:22:05,054
I'll tell you something.
You're both full of crap. All three of you.
1197
01:22:05,088 --> 01:22:07,723
I wish that were true,
but you are going to have to find yourself another
1198
01:22:07,756 --> 01:22:12,161
- little playmate, because I am leaving the playpen.
- Ta-ta, Miss fish-and-chips,
1199
01:22:12,195 --> 01:22:15,198
and welcome to the world of 22-year-olds,
'cause that's
1200
01:22:15,231 --> 01:22:18,101
what you're gonna find out there,
and I'll tell you something,
1201
01:22:18,134 --> 01:22:22,205
you're not 22 now, you never will be 22,
and you probably never
1202
01:22:22,238 --> 01:22:24,273
were 22,
so good luck!
1203
01:22:26,209 --> 01:22:27,743
You are a son of a bitch.
1204
01:22:27,776 --> 01:22:30,513
That's right,
and I got five fathers to prove it.
1205
01:22:30,546 --> 01:22:33,382
Hey, Trish, Trish.
Don't go, please, please, please.
1206
01:22:33,416 --> 01:22:37,420
- Please, don't go. I need you.
1207
01:22:37,453 --> 01:22:41,424
- I'll kill myself.
- Oh, come on. You've already killed the man I married.
1208
01:22:41,457 --> 01:22:43,392
Don't go through it all again.
1209
01:23:08,384 --> 01:23:10,119
Where to, Mrs. Watson?
1210
01:23:10,153 --> 01:23:14,057
Just take me home,
and silently.
1211
01:23:14,090 --> 01:23:18,594
Very well,
but I think you're depriving yourself of a very sympathetic ear.
1212
01:23:18,627 --> 01:23:21,564
It's not the ear that worries me,
Mr. Reilly, it's the mouth.
1213
01:23:23,399 --> 01:23:25,201
Boy, is this a lonely job.
1214
01:24:01,804 --> 01:24:05,074
Would you come back for me in about an hour,
Mr. Reilly, please.
1215
01:24:05,108 --> 01:24:06,809
Certainly. By then,
1216
01:24:06,842 --> 01:24:09,778
you'll be all packed and ready to go to the airport, right?
1217
01:24:09,812 --> 01:24:13,416
Probably have your tickets
all set, ain't so?
1218
01:24:13,449 --> 01:24:16,352
Then you'll probably be met by somebody in Europe, because
1219
01:24:16,385 --> 01:24:18,421
the way I got it figured,
you're goin' back to Europe.
1220
01:24:18,454 --> 01:24:20,356
Isn't that about it,
Mrs. Watson?
1221
01:24:22,125 --> 01:24:24,393
- Is there another cab driver in this town?
- No.
1222
01:24:25,528 --> 01:24:27,530
Is there a cab driver
in Hillborough?
1223
01:24:27,563 --> 01:24:31,467
Yes, but you wouldn't like him.
He asks too many questions.
1224
01:24:31,500 --> 01:24:33,136
Be back in about an hour.
1225
01:26:08,731 --> 01:26:10,299
Jesus Christ!
1226
01:26:24,380 --> 01:26:28,351
You bastard.
You childish bastard.
1227
01:26:37,260 --> 01:26:39,462
Mr. Reilly, could you come
for the bags, please?
1228
01:26:39,495 --> 01:26:40,863
My pleasure,
Mrs. W.
1229
01:26:57,880 --> 01:26:59,982
Now, if I take the road through the campus,
we're gonna run
1230
01:27:00,015 --> 01:27:02,951
through a lot of traffic.
But if I go around by Bernstein's bookstore,
1231
01:27:02,985 --> 01:27:05,388
we'll do much better. But either way,
I'm gonna get you to your
1232
01:27:05,421 --> 01:27:07,390
- plane on time. Don't worry.
- Mmm.
1233
01:27:07,423 --> 01:27:09,492
Hey, what's that motor doing running in the garage like that?
1234
01:27:10,693 --> 01:27:11,860
Oh, that's just my husband.
1235
01:27:11,894 --> 01:27:13,696
He's committing suicide.
Excuse me.
1236
01:27:16,332 --> 01:27:19,768
I'll tell you something about the professor.
He's got some sense of humor.
1237
01:27:19,802 --> 01:27:21,737
You're gonna miss out on a lot of laughs, Mrs. W.
1238
01:27:21,770 --> 01:27:23,406
I'll manage that, Mr. Reilly.
1239
01:27:23,439 --> 01:27:25,608
On the drive to the airport,
whichever route you choose,
1240
01:27:25,641 --> 01:27:28,844
not one single word.
Understood?
1241
01:27:28,877 --> 01:27:30,979
Say no more.
1242
01:27:31,013 --> 01:27:34,850
But this could've been a purifyin' and edifyin' experience for ya.
1243
01:27:34,883 --> 01:27:37,753
Look, why don't you just consider me as if was a priest
1244
01:27:37,786 --> 01:27:39,788
who charges 50 cents
a mile, huh?
1245
01:27:43,058 --> 01:27:46,529
All right. You go to your church,
I'll go to mine.
1246
01:27:56,004 --> 01:27:59,808
Mrs.
W, what I'm gonna say to you now might not be purifyin', edifyin',
1247
01:27:59,842 --> 01:28:04,747
or good for the soul,
but you owe me $17.35.
1248
01:28:07,683 --> 01:28:09,385
Have a good day.
1249
01:28:09,418 --> 01:28:13,956
Oh, they still makin' these?
You got a good one here!
1250
01:28:15,758 --> 01:28:18,361
Now I can buy that motor home I've always dreamed about.
1251
01:28:20,796 --> 01:28:24,099
- Uh, Allegheny. For Kennedy.
1252
01:28:24,132 --> 01:28:25,834
My god,
that window was closed!
1253
01:28:25,868 --> 01:28:27,069
Beg pardon?
1254
01:28:27,102 --> 01:28:29,672
That window was closed!
He's killing himself!
1255
01:28:29,705 --> 01:28:30,806
We all are, lady.
1256
01:28:34,076 --> 01:28:37,913
Mr. Reilly!
Mr. Reilly!
1257
01:28:37,946 --> 01:28:39,482
Can you whistle?
1258
01:28:39,515 --> 01:28:41,817
- Only with my fingers.
- Then please, stop that cab!
1259
01:28:44,887 --> 01:28:46,088
Come on!
1260
01:28:48,957 --> 01:28:53,729
Look now, Mrs.
W, you really look like you have a need to talk about it.
1261
01:28:53,762 --> 01:28:57,833
Mr.
Reilly, what I really need is for you just to belt up, okay?
1262
01:28:57,866 --> 01:28:59,902
"Belt up"?
I take it that's an English expression.
1263
01:28:59,935 --> 01:29:01,937
Mr. Reilly, shut up.
1264
01:29:05,040 --> 01:29:08,411
Fine way to talk to a priest.
1265
01:29:08,444 --> 01:29:11,380
"Belt up."
Probably two words hyphenated, huh?
1266
01:29:11,414 --> 01:29:12,581
Interesting.
1267
01:29:25,193 --> 01:29:28,864
- Mr. Reilly, help me, please!
- Oh, my God!
1268
01:29:28,897 --> 01:29:33,569
This is for real!
Here, let me try.
1269
01:29:33,602 --> 01:29:34,903
I'll get the thingamajig.
1270
01:29:36,171 --> 01:29:37,773
And get the paramedics!
1271
01:29:39,908 --> 01:29:41,644
Bloody thing!
1272
01:29:48,584 --> 01:29:52,120
Go open a window.
I'll turn off the exhaust and get him out of here.
1273
01:29:52,154 --> 01:29:53,756
Come on.
1274
01:30:04,199 --> 01:30:06,935
- I don't know.
1275
01:30:06,969 --> 01:30:09,171
- No.
1276
01:30:09,204 --> 01:30:11,774
Mr. Reilly, they don't
give tenure
1277
01:30:11,807 --> 01:30:13,976
to people who try to
kill themselves, okay?
1278
01:30:14,009 --> 01:30:15,911
All right.
We'll keep it in the family.
1279
01:30:15,944 --> 01:30:17,813
Give him some
mouth-to-mouth here.
1280
01:30:22,851 --> 01:30:24,787
No, no.
You gotta keep his neck up and his head down.
1281
01:30:24,820 --> 01:30:26,922
- Neck up, head down.
1282
01:30:32,595 --> 01:30:35,798
Look, I gotta do this.
You're gonna kill this guy savin' his life.
1283
01:30:35,831 --> 01:30:38,667
- I was a New York cab driver.
1284
01:30:38,701 --> 01:30:41,770
I can deliver babies, remove bullets,
and in a pinch, do a little
1285
01:30:41,804 --> 01:30:43,806
root-canal work.
If you don't mind.
1286
01:30:46,141 --> 01:30:48,443
Okay, baby, here we go.
1287
01:30:52,147 --> 01:30:55,851
Breathe, please.
Just breathe.
1288
01:30:57,886 --> 01:30:59,822
Well, is there anything?
1289
01:30:59,855 --> 01:31:02,491
He ain't gonna swim the channel or anything,
but he's breathin'.
1290
01:31:02,525 --> 01:31:05,861
Let's get him inside.
Oh, wait a minute.
1291
01:31:05,894 --> 01:31:08,997
- I got a bad back!
- We'll use the trolley.
1292
01:31:11,133 --> 01:31:15,504
Oh, yeah. Put him on this.
Roll him over.
1293
01:31:15,538 --> 01:31:19,141
- Slide this under him.
- That's it. Come on, Mrs. W, turn him over. Yeah.
1294
01:31:20,275 --> 01:31:23,045
- Here we go.
- Here we go.
1295
01:31:23,078 --> 01:31:26,782
Goin' for a little ride, Prof.
Keep pullin'. That's right.
1296
01:31:27,683 --> 01:31:28,784
Come on, Mrs. W.
1297
01:31:28,817 --> 01:31:29,785
Shut up!
1298
01:31:37,560 --> 01:31:39,127
Okay. Okay.
1299
01:31:46,869 --> 01:31:49,738
- He must've had a big lunch.
- Bring him in here. We'll put him on the sofa.
1300
01:31:51,039 --> 01:31:55,210
- Don't drop him.
- Wipe your feet, please. Okay?
1301
01:32:00,048 --> 01:32:03,018
- The sofa's in here.
- Hey, here.
1302
01:32:10,759 --> 01:32:14,863
Shut up, Peppy!
Shut up!
1303
01:32:16,231 --> 01:32:18,033
- Belt up!
1304
01:32:19,367 --> 01:32:21,804
Must have a little English
terrier in him.
1305
01:32:21,837 --> 01:32:26,675
Breathe.
Breathe deeply! In, out
1306
01:32:26,709 --> 01:32:30,913
Mrs.
W, I think you ought to turn that off and get a little shot
1307
01:32:30,946 --> 01:32:34,650
- of whiskey here, huh, for the professor?
- That's a good idea.
1308
01:32:34,683 --> 01:32:37,953
Come on, Professor.
Come on! Come on, wake up!
1309
01:32:37,986 --> 01:32:41,089
Come on. Come on, get out of it.
Come on, you can wake up.
1310
01:32:41,123 --> 01:32:44,893
Come on. Come on!
Come on! Professor!
1311
01:32:44,927 --> 01:32:49,564
Sit him up, please.
I can't lift him. If you can just...
1312
01:32:50,699 --> 01:32:52,067
Okay.
1313
01:32:52,100 --> 01:32:54,202
Okay. Okay.
1314
01:32:54,236 --> 01:32:58,206
Now, just try and pour...
Come on.
1315
01:32:58,240 --> 01:33:01,944
Oh, swallow!
Please, please, swallow!
1316
01:33:01,977 --> 01:33:04,246
- This is not going to work!
- No, it ain't.
1317
01:33:05,113 --> 01:33:06,815
Come on, wake up.
1318
01:33:09,985 --> 01:33:12,254
Come on, let's get him on his
feet, start him walkin'.
1319
01:33:14,823 --> 01:33:17,960
All right, on the count of three.
All right, Mrs. W?
1320
01:33:17,993 --> 01:33:20,328
One, two, three.
Up!
1321
01:33:23,899 --> 01:33:25,734
- Come on.
- Well, he ain't walkin'.
1322
01:33:25,768 --> 01:33:26,969
Is he breathing?
1323
01:33:27,736 --> 01:33:29,104
Better than me.
1324
01:33:30,873 --> 01:33:32,374
What are you doing?
1325
01:33:32,407 --> 01:33:37,079
Don't do that!
Ah! Oh!
1326
01:33:37,112 --> 01:33:39,848
Mrs.
W, we better get him under a cold shower
1327
01:33:39,882 --> 01:33:42,084
before he kills the both of us.
You got one downstairs?
1328
01:33:42,117 --> 01:33:43,351
No.
1329
01:33:43,385 --> 01:33:46,021
No problem.
We'll take him right up.
1330
01:33:46,054 --> 01:33:49,091
Come on. Come on, Prof.
Give me a hand there, will ya?
1331
01:33:50,325 --> 01:33:52,761
That's it! All right.
Now, just follow me.
1332
01:33:54,429 --> 01:33:56,665
We're gonna put him
on my back, all right?
1333
01:33:56,699 --> 01:33:57,900
Okay.
1334
01:33:59,034 --> 01:34:01,136
Okay. That's it.
1335
01:34:06,174 --> 01:34:09,144
- Okay, left.
- Okay, left!
1336
01:34:09,177 --> 01:34:10,879
Ow!
- More left!
1337
01:34:10,913 --> 01:34:14,149
- More left!
- A little more now.
1338
01:34:14,182 --> 01:34:17,052
- There we go. That's good, see?
- Straight.
1339
01:34:17,085 --> 01:34:18,386
There we go.
1340
01:34:19,321 --> 01:34:22,157
- Yeah.
1341
01:34:22,190 --> 01:34:26,228
- Go straight up, and then I'll direct you again.
- All right.
1342
01:34:30,933 --> 01:34:32,267
Here we go.
1343
01:34:34,336 --> 01:34:37,272
- Oh, Christ.
- Phone's ringin', Mrs. W.
1344
01:34:42,144 --> 01:34:44,446
Keep going.
I'm going to have to...
1345
01:34:45,948 --> 01:34:47,916
- Oh, boy!
1346
01:34:47,950 --> 01:34:50,018
Oh, hello, Mrs. Bryce!
1347
01:34:50,052 --> 01:34:54,056
How are you? Yes.
Yes, he's back. He's just fine.
1348
01:34:54,089 --> 01:34:57,459
What? Uh, the 17th?
I'll just find out.
1349
01:34:57,492 --> 01:35:01,797
Hold on, would you? Darling?
Are we free on the 17th?
1350
01:35:01,830 --> 01:35:03,799
Yes!
1351
01:35:03,832 --> 01:35:05,200
Yes, that would be
fine, Mrs. Bryce.
1352
01:35:05,233 --> 01:35:08,370
Thank you very much.
Uh, 7:30?
1353
01:35:08,403 --> 01:35:12,207
Informal? Oh, good.
We look forward to it. Bye. See you then.
1354
01:35:12,240 --> 01:35:15,944
Turn left, Mr.
Reilly, turn left and it's just straight on.
1355
01:35:15,978 --> 01:35:19,481
When you get through the door,
sharp turn right. Not too sharp.
1356
01:35:19,514 --> 01:35:21,917
- We don't want to break his leg.
- Okay.
1357
01:35:24,052 --> 01:35:28,290
- All right, Mrs. W, put his feet in the tub.
- Okay.
1358
01:35:28,323 --> 01:35:30,258
Feet in the tub.
1359
01:35:30,292 --> 01:35:33,028
Okay, his feet are in the tub.
- Okay.
1360
01:35:35,263 --> 01:35:38,033
- I've got him. He's slipping.
- Put him in the corner!
1361
01:35:38,066 --> 01:35:39,234
Put him in the corner!
1362
01:35:39,267 --> 01:35:41,937
- I got him.
- Here, I got him.
1363
01:35:41,970 --> 01:35:44,406
- Get him in the corner.
- Okay. Whoa!
1364
01:35:45,974 --> 01:35:49,211
- One, two, three. That's it.
- Okay, hold him there.
1365
01:35:49,244 --> 01:35:51,413
- Now.
- Okay, turn the water on.
1366
01:35:51,446 --> 01:35:55,417
- Oh, boy.
- Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait, wait.
1367
01:35:55,450 --> 01:35:57,519
Well, I've packed
all my other clothes.
1368
01:35:57,552 --> 01:35:58,821
Okay, all right.
1369
01:35:58,854 --> 01:36:00,956
- Okay.
- Okay.
1370
01:36:00,989 --> 01:36:04,860
Aah! Aah! Aah! Okay, come on!
Come on, Professor!
1371
01:36:04,893 --> 01:36:09,097
Breathe! You can come out of it!
Breathe! Breathe!
1372
01:36:09,131 --> 01:36:12,267
- You can do it!
Come out of it!
1373
01:36:12,300 --> 01:36:15,070
Yeah.
1374
01:36:15,103 --> 01:36:17,072
- He's comin' out of it! Come on!
- Oh, we did it!
1375
01:36:17,105 --> 01:36:19,274
Yeah! We did it!
We did it!
1376
01:36:21,977 --> 01:36:25,013
Come on!
Whoops!
1377
01:36:25,047 --> 01:36:28,083
Whoa! Okay
Open your eyes, please!
1378
01:36:28,116 --> 01:36:30,152
How many fingers?
1379
01:36:32,454 --> 01:36:35,357
Boy, it's a good thing he come out of it,
or your guilt would've been terrible.
1380
01:36:35,390 --> 01:36:36,558
- Unendurable.
1381
01:36:36,591 --> 01:36:37,792
Sure!
1382
01:36:39,594 --> 01:36:42,597
I been guilty all my life.
I'm telling you the truth.
1383
01:36:42,630 --> 01:36:45,033
- It started out when I was born.
- Don't let him drown.
1384
01:36:45,067 --> 01:36:48,270
No, I won't.
I was guilty about givin' my mother too much pain,
1385
01:36:48,303 --> 01:36:50,505
'cause I was an 11-pound baby
with long fingernails.
1386
01:36:50,538 --> 01:36:53,341
- Oh, come on!
- Let's get him out of here, get him walkin'.
1387
01:36:55,577 --> 01:36:57,980
- Come on, Professor.
- Lift your feet.
1388
01:36:58,013 --> 01:37:00,615
- Lift your feet.
- Boy, am I glad you don't have to go through that whole
1389
01:37:00,648 --> 01:37:03,385
- guilt thing.
- Well, guilt is not my problem.
1390
01:37:03,418 --> 01:37:05,921
- Catching my plane is.
1391
01:37:05,954 --> 01:37:07,923
My plane to London.
1392
01:37:07,956 --> 01:37:09,992
- Wait a minute. You're gonna leave him again?
- I certainly am.
1393
01:37:10,025 --> 01:37:12,961
- You're gonna walk out on him after all of this?
- Absolutely.
1394
01:37:14,329 --> 01:37:16,331
Boy, are you gonna feel
guilty.
1395
01:37:16,364 --> 01:37:19,234
I'll worry about it on the plane.
Please, walk!
1396
01:37:23,471 --> 01:37:27,075
What did you wake me up for?
I was having the most wonderful dream.
1397
01:37:27,109 --> 01:37:30,078
Beautiful. I dreamt I finished all my homework,
and my mother didn't
1398
01:37:30,112 --> 01:37:32,080
- even ask to see it.
1399
01:37:35,017 --> 01:37:37,519
I'll be right out, Mr. Reilly.
1400
01:37:37,552 --> 01:37:40,288
If you were going to leave,
why did you come back?
1401
01:37:40,322 --> 01:37:43,025
Well, I didn't actually want to see you dead.
1402
01:37:43,058 --> 01:37:45,393
Just because,
I can no longer live with you is no reason for you
1403
01:37:45,427 --> 01:37:49,264
to stop living.
Okay.
1404
01:37:51,066 --> 01:37:53,635
I guess you were right, Trish.
1405
01:37:53,668 --> 01:37:56,438
I guess we should have gotten to know each other better before we
1406
01:37:56,471 --> 01:37:59,908
committed ourselves to this condition of...
How did you say it?
1407
01:37:59,942 --> 01:38:02,377
- Mmm.
1408
01:38:03,678 --> 01:38:08,016
- Ta-ta, princess.
- Author! Author!
1409
01:38:11,486 --> 01:38:13,288
Goodbye.
1410
01:38:53,428 --> 01:38:55,597
And thank you.
1411
01:38:55,630 --> 01:38:57,966
You notice how I didn't say
one word the whole trip?
1412
01:38:58,000 --> 01:39:02,537
- Noticed and appreciated.
- Well, I'm just gonna say this one thing.
1413
01:39:02,570 --> 01:39:05,107
Mrs. W, I got a lot of extra time on my hands,
and I spend it
1414
01:39:05,140 --> 01:39:08,076
all in the college library reading.
Mostly philosophers.
1415
01:39:08,110 --> 01:39:10,712
- Mr. Reilly, I think I've lost my air ticket.
- I love philosophers.
1416
01:39:10,745 --> 01:39:12,414
I read 'em all.
1417
01:39:12,447 --> 01:39:17,152
Aristotle, Schopenhauer,
Plato, Nietzsche, Kant, Hagel,
1418
01:39:17,185 --> 01:39:20,122
Bergson, Bertrand Russell,
Ernest Becker.
1419
01:39:20,155 --> 01:39:22,190
You name 'em, I've read 'em.
1420
01:39:22,224 --> 01:39:26,128
And shall I give you a
distillation, a quintessence
1421
01:39:26,161 --> 01:39:29,664
of their well-thought-out evaluation of this life we live?
1422
01:39:29,697 --> 01:39:33,235
- Okay.
- It's a crock of shit, Mrs. W.
1423
01:39:34,736 --> 01:39:36,471
But it's all we got.
1424
01:39:39,241 --> 01:39:41,443
Keep that in mind
next time around.
1425
01:39:44,579 --> 01:39:46,481
Thank you, Mr. Reilly.
1426
01:39:49,084 --> 01:39:52,120
Oh, I'm going to
miss my plane! Oh!
1427
01:39:57,559 --> 01:40:00,428
Look at this line!
I'm never going to catch this damn plane!
1428
01:40:22,184 --> 01:40:24,286
Uh...
1429
01:40:24,319 --> 01:40:27,122
Could I borrow your fingers
again, please?
1430
01:40:27,155 --> 01:40:30,158
- Sure. They ain't doin' me no good.
- Thank you.
1431
01:40:42,570 --> 01:40:43,805
Thank you.
1432
01:40:43,838 --> 01:40:45,607
You're welcome.
I'll take the bags in.
1433
01:40:45,640 --> 01:40:48,076
No, no. Just dump.
Leave them on the porch.
1434
01:40:48,110 --> 01:40:50,178
- Can you handle the key all right?
- Yep.
1435
01:40:50,212 --> 01:40:51,746
- Are you sure I can't help you?
- No.
1436
01:40:51,779 --> 01:40:53,748
Maybe I could take
the dog for a walk.
1437
01:40:53,781 --> 01:40:55,483
Mr. Reilly.
1438
01:40:55,517 --> 01:40:58,486
- Go away, please.
- Sure.
1439
01:40:58,520 --> 01:41:00,088
Give me a call in the morning,
will you?
1440
01:41:00,122 --> 01:41:01,523
I'd like to hear how it all
comes out.
1441
01:42:19,367 --> 01:42:21,203
Hello, mother?
1442
01:42:21,236 --> 01:42:23,705
I want you to listen very carefully,
because there's something
1443
01:42:23,738 --> 01:42:25,907
I've been wanting to
tell you for a long time.
1444
01:42:25,940 --> 01:42:29,844
From the time I was born,
you've made incredible sacrifices for me,
1445
01:42:29,877 --> 01:42:33,348
gone through hardships and
deprivations, all for me.
1446
01:42:33,381 --> 01:42:36,384
You've done everything,
given everything that a woman like you
1447
01:42:36,418 --> 01:42:39,221
can do or give to a son.
1448
01:42:39,254 --> 01:42:41,589
And now you know
what I'd like you to do?
1449
01:42:41,623 --> 01:42:44,292
- I'd like you to go and...
- Hi, Jemmy.
1450
01:42:44,326 --> 01:42:48,563
Uh, listen, uh, sorry, uh, listen, Jemmy.
What he was about to say was
1451
01:42:48,596 --> 01:42:52,867
would you please go and find uh,
as many cups and plates and saucers
1452
01:42:52,900 --> 01:42:56,338
as you possibly can, preferably wholesale,
because the damn dog's
1453
01:42:56,371 --> 01:42:58,973
gone mad and broken every single dish in the house.
1454
01:42:59,006 --> 01:43:01,543
Absolutely, every single dish.
I don't know. Some sort of brainstorm.
1455
01:43:01,576 --> 01:43:05,780
Oh, and all the ashtrays and everything and the carpet and the table.
1456
01:43:05,813 --> 01:43:07,682
Listen, Jem, I've had a
marvelous idea.
1457
01:43:07,715 --> 01:43:09,917
Why don't you come up this
weekend?
1458
01:43:09,951 --> 01:43:12,220
Well, because we'd both love to see you,
and I'd like some help
1459
01:43:12,254 --> 01:43:14,356
with the carpet.
Would you?
1460
01:43:16,023 --> 01:43:17,559
I mean, would that be
all right?
1461
01:43:17,592 --> 01:43:20,628
I could meet you at
the airport. Is that okay?
1462
01:43:20,662 --> 01:43:22,897
I'd love to.
1463
01:43:22,930 --> 01:43:25,967
Oh, that's marvelous, Jem. That's really terrific.
Okay, well, I'll see you then.
1464
01:43:26,000 --> 01:43:28,570
Fine. Okay.
Yeah, great. Bye.
124135
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