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1
00:00:04,961 --> 00:00:05,881
-Hey, Vanessa.
-Hmm?
2
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:08,139
Do I look hot?
3
00:00:08,269 --> 00:00:11,529
-You look cute as a button,
as always, Jen.
4
00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:15,103
Great compliment
if I was a kitten.
5
00:00:15,276 --> 00:00:17,756
You packing Mr. Baxter's lunch?
6
00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:21,760
I am getting
Sarah's diaper bag ready.
7
00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:24,421
Mandy's on her way to pick
her up. She's still napping.
8
00:00:24,546 --> 00:00:26,546
Hmm, kids sure need
a lot of stuff
9
00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:28,288
considering they don't do anything.
10
00:00:28,419 --> 00:00:32,209
What they really need
is their gwammy-gwam
11
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:35,990
who lubs 'em
so very, very much. Mwah.
12
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,906
I've been talking to toddlers
all day. Hard to break.
13
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,909
Harder to listen to.
14
00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:45,131
Well, after they leave,
I am going on a training run.
15
00:00:45,262 --> 00:00:47,872
I'm doing a half-triathlon
for my birthday.
16
00:00:48,004 --> 00:00:50,574
It's, uh, it's a big one.
17
00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:52,096
Kind of a milestone.
18
00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:54,786
Oh, that's right.
How old will you be?
19
00:00:54,924 --> 00:00:56,104
Well, there's three parts.
20
00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:59,150
Uh, running,
swimming and biking.
21
00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:00,666
It's gonna be a lot of work,
22
00:01:00,799 --> 00:01:02,849
but we got to prove to 'em
we still got it.
23
00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:04,892
But which birthday is it?
24
00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:06,151
Yeah, that's right. Sounds fun.
25
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:07,943
Oh, Mom.
26
00:01:08,024 --> 00:01:09,374
-Thank you,
thank you, thank you.
-Hey. Hi.
27
00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:11,977
-I'm so sorry that I'm late.
-Oh, that's fine.
28
00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:14,855
-It's more time
for Sarah and Gwammy.
29
00:01:14,944 --> 00:01:16,514
Okay, well, I'm sorry to ask,
30
00:01:16,598 --> 00:01:18,598
but I have to pick up
some fabrics tomorrow
31
00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:20,520
for a freelance job.
Could you...?
32
00:01:20,602 --> 00:01:22,952
Of course. You know what,
bring her for breakfast.
33
00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:25,429
She loves
my famous mashed bananas.
34
00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:27,483
-Mmm. Who doesn't?
Nummy.
-Yeah.
35
00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,479
Also, the job may take
till Friday,
36
00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:31,831
-so...
-So, bring her every day.
Look, I wub it.
37
00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:33,574
-Well,
Kyle's waiting in the car.
-Okay.
38
00:01:33,702 --> 00:01:35,662
-You're the best. I love you.
-Bye. Love you. Love you.
39
00:01:35,747 --> 00:01:37,877
You look hot, Jen.
40
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,490
Thank you,
41
00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:42,622
Mandy.
42
00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:45,578
Hi, guys. What... Hey.
Mommy!
43
00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:47,934
Yes, sweetie.
Yes, I see you in the sandbox.
44
00:01:48,064 --> 00:01:50,154
Mwah!
45
00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:52,294
That's the greatest thing
Dad ever made.
46
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:55,896
I mean, besides me, obviously.
47
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:58,025
Whoa, Mom.
48
00:01:58,161 --> 00:01:59,991
Uh, you working on a road crew?
49
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,770
No, I'm training
50
00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:03,780
to do a half-triathlon
for my birthday.
51
00:02:03,949 --> 00:02:05,819
Don't ask which one.
52
00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:08,001
Sweet. Uh,
53
00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:09,354
listen, I hate to ask, but, uh,
54
00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:11,313
can you watch Evelyn
for a couple hours?
55
00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:13,049
-I've got
a management course, and...
-You go,
56
00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:15,606
go, go.
Gwammy loves the sandbox.
57
00:02:15,744 --> 00:02:17,444
-You're the best.
Okay, I'll be home by dinner.
-Mwah.
58
00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:18,958
Oh! Actually, wait.
Uh, Wednesday night,
59
00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:20,875
Ryan and I have this thing if...
60
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:22,533
Uh, oh, no, done. You know what?
61
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:25,577
I-I will just, uh,
work out tomorrow.
62
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,357
-Love you. Okay.
-Love you, too.
63
00:02:27,451 --> 00:02:28,711
Whoa.
64
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,930
Jen, you look hot.
65
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:36,111
How do you not see it?
66
00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:49,263
Mm. Turn off your alarm. Mm.
67
00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:52,818
It's not my alarm.
It's your alarm.
68
00:02:52,955 --> 00:02:56,125
Hmm? Oh.
69
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,273
-Sorry. Oh, gosh.
70
00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,395
Old habits.
71
00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:03,144
I was having a great dream.
72
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,580
It was all about
a federal flat tax
73
00:03:05,707 --> 00:03:10,277
and a cap-free interest
on mortgage deductions.
74
00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:13,061
You were in it, too.
75
00:03:13,149 --> 00:03:14,629
My God, you're romantic.
76
00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:18,065
You know, uh...
77
00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:19,854
God, honey, it's 4:00 a.m.
78
00:03:20,025 --> 00:03:21,715
Yeah. I got a swim workout.
79
00:03:21,897 --> 00:03:23,727
Yeah, I heard all that. But
80
00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:27,249
-it's-it's 4:00 a.m.
Yeah.
81
00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:29,511
Well, uh,
I have a jam-packed day.
82
00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,214
I mean,
I'm taking Evelyn and Sarah
83
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:33,518
-to Tumbling Tots graduation.
-Oh.
84
00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:35,818
And then I have
a training session
85
00:03:35,954 --> 00:03:37,394
with the HTTG.
86
00:03:37,521 --> 00:03:40,091
-It's too early for acronyms.
-Yeah.
87
00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:43,436
I got into the Half-Triathlon
Training Group,
88
00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:46,697
and if you miss one session,
they kick you out.
89
00:03:46,835 --> 00:03:49,095
Well, a competition's kind of
a strange way to celebrate
90
00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:50,095
-your fif...
-Hey.
91
00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:52,103
F-Fitness goals.
92
00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:55,368
Exactly. There's only
so many hours in a day,
93
00:03:55,496 --> 00:03:57,316
so that's why
I got to stretch the clock
94
00:03:57,454 --> 00:03:59,284
-and my hamstrings.
-Well,
95
00:03:59,413 --> 00:04:00,893
when I turned f...
96
00:04:00,979 --> 00:04:02,289
-Hey.
-That age,
97
00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:04,976
I just got myself a case
of good Scotch.
98
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:07,464
And a chain saw and a crossbow.
99
00:04:07,551 --> 00:04:09,121
Because I wanted
safe toys to play with
100
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,119
when I was hammered.
101
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,344
Well, I think it's sweet
102
00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,557
-that you are
so worried about me.
-I am worried
103
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:18,080
about you. You need more rest.
104
00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:19,564
No, no, no. Not at all. Look,
105
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:22,090
I am in the Open Division
with 25-year-olds.
106
00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:24,178
You think those Pilates bodies
107
00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:26,437
that I'm competing against
are sleeping right now?
108
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:29,140
I'm sure their husbands are.
109
00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:31,012
Look, I can handle this.
110
00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:32,713
Don't you remember
in grad school, I would...
111
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:35,234
I would go to class,
then work all night
112
00:04:35,362 --> 00:04:36,972
and then study
until the morning?
113
00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:40,242
That's when we thought
Jolt Cola was a health drink.
114
00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:41,847
All right, relax.
115
00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:43,893
I got this.
116
00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:45,682
All right, okay. So,
117
00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:48,287
you're gonna swim
in your PJs, right?
118
00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:01,614
What year did they introduce
the tail fins?
119
00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,606
Come on, that's easy. 1948.
120
00:05:03,738 --> 00:05:05,908
-Give me a hard one.
-Okay. Okay, hotshot.
121
00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:07,964
Um...
122
00:05:08,046 --> 00:05:12,006
The taillights
on the '68 Shelby Mustang
123
00:05:12,137 --> 00:05:13,617
were previously used
124
00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,274
-on what other car?
-Oh, I think I know...
125
00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:16,532
Silence! I know this one.
126
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:20,452
'66 T-Bird.
127
00:05:20,581 --> 00:05:22,631
Damn, Baxter.
-I totally knew that.
128
00:05:22,713 --> 00:05:23,803
-All right, how about this?
129
00:05:23,932 --> 00:05:26,802
What year
was the AMC Rebel introduced?
130
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,065
1967.
131
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:31,510
-Yeah, but it ended in 1970.
-You know, Joe,
132
00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:33,195
we're in the middle
of something right now.
133
00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:36,029
Namely, me becoming
the baron of car trivia. Okay?
134
00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:37,211
Somebody give me a question.
I could be
135
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,817
the car trivia baroness.
136
00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:43,208
Baroness is a woman. This...
And come on, Joe.
137
00:05:43,299 --> 00:05:45,429
This is just a game Chuck and I
are playing right now, okay?
138
00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:46,649
Oh, right.
'Cause you guys are friends.
139
00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:48,654
And once again,
Little Joey's stuck outside
140
00:05:48,739 --> 00:05:50,999
with his nose
pressed against the glass.
141
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,443
"L-Little... Little Joey"?
142
00:05:53,527 --> 00:05:55,047
Hey, Joe, you're our friend.
143
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:57,310
Tell you what. If you want
to be a part of this,
144
00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:58,844
how about you come up
145
00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:01,447
with the trivia questions
next time to ask us.
146
00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:03,228
Okay, you're gonna make me
the stupid host.
147
00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:05,229
He's just a boring guy
that gets to introduce
148
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,848
the interesting guests.
149
00:06:07,976 --> 00:06:10,536
Kind of a job
you were made for, Joe.
150
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,814
Y-You're looking at this
the wrong way.
151
00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:15,644
It's your show.
You have the power.
152
00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:17,026
-That's right.
Huh.
153
00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:18,155
You can ask us
any question you want.
154
00:06:18,247 --> 00:06:20,027
-We got to answer it.
-Oh.
155
00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:22,558
Well, if that's the case,
I'll do it.
156
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:24,120
-Okay.
-Hey, here's a preview question.
157
00:06:24,253 --> 00:06:25,693
Uh, do I get a band?
158
00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:27,563
No.
159
00:06:27,691 --> 00:06:29,611
You asked. I had to answer.
160
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:33,916
Come on,
161
00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:35,129
punk, work!
162
00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:36,704
Don't you want to eat lightning
163
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,494
and crap thunder?
164
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:41,917
I thought
I was doing pretty good.
165
00:06:42,053 --> 00:06:44,273
Oh, you are.
But I just watched Rocky,
166
00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:46,187
and his coach was very mean.
167
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:47,445
Although, I read
168
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:49,061
that the actor,
Burgess Meredith,
169
00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:51,411
-was a lovely man.
-Aw.
170
00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:55,148
-Oh, Mom, you are crushing it.
-Yeah.
171
00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:58,287
Yeah, Mom. That sports bra
is really earning its keep.
172
00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:02,471
Ooh, and the baby monitor
is quiet.
173
00:07:02,596 --> 00:07:04,156
Oh, our girls must be out.
174
00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:06,253
They hit the wall
after Vanessa took them running
175
00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:07,732
in the tandem stroller.
176
00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:11,132
Yep. Not to brag, but uphill.
177
00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:12,516
Mm-hmm.
178
00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:14,126
And that was after
a four-mile swim
179
00:07:14,259 --> 00:07:16,829
-at 4:00 this morning.
There you go.
180
00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:19,738
You know, there was a thin layer
of ice on the surface,
181
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:23,697
but I just plowed through.
No biggie.
182
00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:26,144
-My God, you are incredible.
183
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:27,321
You have more energy than we do.
184
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:30,840
Yeah, you're like super Grandma.
185
00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:33,062
-Yeah! Vanessa!
186
00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:35,981
Vanessa! Vanessa! Vanessa!
-Oh, yeah!
187
00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:38,757
Vanessa? Vanessa?
188
00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:41,326
Vanessa?
189
00:07:41,504 --> 00:07:44,334
What? Crap thunder?
190
00:07:46,378 --> 00:07:47,418
-I just got home.
191
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,294
Were you asleep this whole time?
192
00:07:49,425 --> 00:07:51,335
I don't know.
193
00:07:51,427 --> 00:07:53,647
Oh, no. Oh, no.
194
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:55,781
Oh. Oh, God.
I missed my training group.
195
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:58,173
Well, it's okay.
I-I can watch the girls
196
00:07:58,303 --> 00:07:59,783
-if you want to go catch up
with your group.
-No.
197
00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:02,657
No, no, I blew it.
This is the one where they teach
198
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:05,220
all the best training methods
to women over...
199
00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:07,924
the moon to run.
200
00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:11,356
-Sorry, Vanessa.
Grandma,
201
00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:13,797
-where are you? Grandma!
-Oh.
202
00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:16,024
I already feel bad enough.
Get off my back.
203
00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:17,847
Grandma?
204
00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:28,334
Well, thank you
for grabbing these.
205
00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:29,604
Changes the whole vibe in here.
206
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:31,636
Yeah. Well,
we'll start with the sconces,
207
00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:33,952
and then we'll get
to everything else later.
208
00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:38,263
Come in.
209
00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:40,480
Oh, Jen!
Ooh, ooh, hit the lights.
210
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,000
Let's see
what these babies can do.
211
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:44,130
Hands are a little full.
212
00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:45,182
Oh, let me help you.
213
00:08:45,307 --> 00:08:47,737
Oh. That is so sweet.
214
00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:49,491
Got us a housewarming gift.
215
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:52,046
No. It's some toys
for the girls.
216
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,177
Oh. Still very sweet.
217
00:08:53,358 --> 00:08:55,968
Not sure about the attitude.
218
00:08:56,057 --> 00:08:58,187
Wait, th-these are
219
00:08:58,276 --> 00:08:59,406
the girls' toys
that we keep at Mom's
220
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,059
since they're over so much.
221
00:09:01,192 --> 00:09:02,892
So, so much.
222
00:09:04,021 --> 00:09:06,331
Vanessa won't tell you this,
so I will.
223
00:09:06,415 --> 00:09:08,195
You're exploiting your mother.
224
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:10,160
She's not your nanny.
225
00:09:10,288 --> 00:09:12,678
Tiny girl, big attitude.
226
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,640
But Mom loves watching
the girls.
227
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:17,946
She's always so happy
when we pick them up.
228
00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:20,079
Of course she's happy
when you pick them up.
229
00:09:20,255 --> 00:09:22,205
You're picking them up.
230
00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:24,217
Wait, hold on. Last week,
231
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:26,612
Sarah was only over there
Monday and Thursday.
232
00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:27,960
Yeah, and Evelyn
was only there Tuesday
233
00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:30,569
and Wednesday and Fri...
Okay, yeah, now I hear it.
234
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,751
She has no time for herself.
235
00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:35,441
She missed
her triathlon training group
236
00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:38,751
because she was so exhausted
from watching the girls.
237
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:42,282
I'm talking
drool-on-the-couch exhausted.
238
00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:44,237
Well, why didn't she
just say something?
239
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:45,759
She's too loving.
240
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:47,669
There's an ancient Chinese tale
241
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:50,204
about a tree
that gives its branches
242
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:52,238
and apples
and even its very trunk
243
00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,027
to the child it loves.
244
00:09:54,115 --> 00:09:56,725
Eventually, there's
nothing left but a stump.
245
00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:59,207
Um, that's not
an ancient Chinese tale.
246
00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:01,817
That's The Giving Tree
by Shel Silverstein.
247
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,255
I don't want
to chop down Vanessa.
248
00:10:06,431 --> 00:10:08,131
Me, either.
249
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:09,259
Thanks, guys.
250
00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:11,704
I'll see you.
251
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:15,143
-Bye.
-Bye.
-Bye.
252
00:10:15,266 --> 00:10:16,956
I feel terrible.
253
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:20,920
Are you okay?
254
00:10:21,925 --> 00:10:23,225
He loves the tree.
255
00:10:23,361 --> 00:10:24,931
He just doesn't know how
to love it.
256
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:29,058
God, being alive is so hard.
257
00:10:31,848 --> 00:10:33,148
All right,
258
00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:35,504
-who wants to read my intro?
-Not it.
259
00:10:40,465 --> 00:10:41,725
"Welcome to Car Sharks.
260
00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,078
Now here's your host,
Joe Leonard."
261
00:10:43,164 --> 00:10:44,174
Thank you, Johnny!
262
00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:45,685
All right, here we go.
263
00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:47,299
Ring in when you have
the answer.
264
00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:49,775
The correct answer is
worth ten points.
265
00:10:49,910 --> 00:10:52,390
In the movie
Back to the Future...
266
00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:54,964
Uh, it's a 1981 DeLorean DMC-12.
267
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:57,312
-Mm-hmm.
-That is the correct answer.
268
00:10:57,395 --> 00:11:00,525
For ten points, the split
rear window on this coupe...
269
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,400
-'63 Stingray.
-That's correct.
270
00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:04,144
Man, give us a hard one.
These are too easy.
271
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:06,972
The first model to feature
a seven-slot grill...
272
00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:08,931
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
273
00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:10,629
1945 CJ.
274
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,320
It's a Willys Jeep, my friend.
275
00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:15,847
All right, it's time
for round two.
276
00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:19,289
For 20 points,
what was Joe's mom's name?
277
00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:21,807
-What?
-Oh...
278
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:23,512
I'm looking
for Joe's mom's name.
279
00:11:23,639 --> 00:11:24,989
Oh, man, I know this.
280
00:11:25,162 --> 00:11:26,772
It's something old-timey,
like, um,
281
00:11:26,903 --> 00:11:29,383
like Thelma or Louise.
282
00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:32,516
Grace-- her name was Grace.
283
00:11:32,648 --> 00:11:34,778
I've said it a million times.
284
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:37,221
Grace, damn it!
Give us another one.
285
00:11:37,305 --> 00:11:39,215
-I don't want another one.
-You have to answer any question
286
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:41,614
-I ask. You have to answer.
-You did say that.
287
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:42,924
We're playing a car trivia game.
288
00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:44,746
I thought we'd have
questions about cars.
289
00:11:44,878 --> 00:11:46,618
Oh, yeah, you'd like that,
wouldn't you? 'Cause you know
290
00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:48,579
everything about cars, but
nothing about your friend Joe.
291
00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:50,671
Hey, hey, hey, come on, Baxter.
292
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,580
-Rules are rules.
-Oh, okay.
293
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,582
-Next question.
294
00:11:54,670 --> 00:11:56,370
In 1968, Joe got his first cat,
295
00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:58,498
Nigel Tickletail.
296
00:11:58,587 --> 00:11:59,937
What breed was Nigel?
297
00:12:00,023 --> 00:12:01,593
Listen, if we're not gonna
talk about cars,
298
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,461
I got other stuff
I could be doing.
299
00:12:03,592 --> 00:12:05,422
So do I, but thanks
for playing Car Sharks, okay?
300
00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:08,250
The show that shows you
who your friends really are.
301
00:12:08,423 --> 00:12:10,473
Good night!
302
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:12,819
You know, if I had said yes
to a band,
303
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:14,519
it could have played him off
right now.
304
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:22,794
Ooh, pancakes.
305
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:24,436
Next time I'll show you
how to make them
306
00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:25,399
into fun little shapes.
307
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:27,700
These are shapes.
308
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:30,404
This one's the Earth,
this one's Mars.
309
00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:32,485
Really?
310
00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:36,454
The diameter of Mars is
about half that of Earth's.
311
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:39,371
Well, the surface of Mars
wouldn't absorb any syrup.
312
00:12:39,497 --> 00:12:42,277
-You want accuracy
or deliciousness?
-Oh... okay.
313
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:44,293
Ooh, good morning.
314
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:45,845
Hey, good morning.
315
00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:46,809
We're just sitting down
to breakfast.
316
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:47,810
You guys want to join?
317
00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:49,511
Yeah, I have enough batter
318
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:52,948
for two and a half Neptunes
or one Saturn.
319
00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:56,296
We forget how fun breakfast is
over here.
320
00:12:56,471 --> 00:12:58,431
We're just,
we're on our way to work.
321
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:01,076
We just wanted to stop by
and give you this gift basket
322
00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:03,515
-as a thank-you.
-Uh, for what?
323
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:05,612
And where are those other
two little adorable gifts
324
00:13:05,741 --> 00:13:07,441
you guys usually bring?
325
00:13:07,525 --> 00:13:10,175
Oh, uh, Mandy and Ryan are
dropping them off at day care.
326
00:13:10,354 --> 00:13:11,794
We decided it was time
to let you off the hook
327
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:13,438
with being a nanny and let you
328
00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:15,488
get back to being a granny.
329
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:19,320
Uh, but, you know, I don't mind
taking care of the girls, I...
330
00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:20,934
We found a great place.
331
00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:22,111
It's got a playground.
It's great.
332
00:13:22,279 --> 00:13:24,369
Yeah, and-and the slide,
the jungle gym
333
00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,679
and that whirly thing can
all handle a fully grown adult.
334
00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:29,979
-Hmm.
-I checked.
335
00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:32,896
Hmm. Uh, okay, well,
336
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,769
uh, thank you. Oh!
337
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,691
This has a hot bath soak
with, uh,
338
00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,692
with 84 trace minerals.
339
00:13:38,774 --> 00:13:40,124
Most of those are just for show.
340
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:43,337
The Epsom salt does
all the heavy lifting.
341
00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:47,702
What we're showing you is
that we appreciate you, Mom.
342
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,047
-Well...
-That's right.
343
00:13:49,132 --> 00:13:50,662
Now go soak
those tired old bones
344
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,176
in those useless minerals.
345
00:13:59,751 --> 00:14:02,281
What the actual hell was that?
346
00:14:02,450 --> 00:14:03,930
What?
347
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,710
It's a good thing.
Isn't it?
348
00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,458
Where did they get the idea
349
00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:09,145
that I'm not up to watching
the girl-- You know what,
350
00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:11,236
I'm gonna kill Mike.
I am gonna kill him.
351
00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:12,902
Wait. It was me.
352
00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:16,286
I-I was the one who told them
you needed more time for you.
353
00:14:16,377 --> 00:14:17,377
You did what?
354
00:14:17,508 --> 00:14:19,208
Yeah!
Because you're too selfless.
355
00:14:19,336 --> 00:14:21,156
I told them
you were like that Giving Tree.
356
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:23,685
No.
I am not a stump!
357
00:14:23,819 --> 00:14:27,999
I'm-I'm a big strong... tree!
358
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:30,955
I'm sorry.
I was just trying to help.
359
00:14:31,044 --> 00:14:35,614
I was doing fine until everyone
decided that I need help.
360
00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:36,964
So, you know what,
361
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:38,917
from now on, just, please,
362
00:14:39,052 --> 00:14:40,972
mind your own business.
363
00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:44,453
You know what,
I'm-I'm taking these salts.
364
00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:46,015
I need a bath.
365
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:55,764
-Yeah.
366
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:56,975
Oh. Hey, Ed.
367
00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:59,203
-Uh, have you seen Kris?
-Yeah.
368
00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:00,939
She and I are gonna have lunch.
She'll be up here
369
00:15:01,074 --> 00:15:02,604
in a few minutes.
You care to sit down?
370
00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:05,467
Why? Because I'm so old?
371
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:09,170
Oh. And I thought the minefields
in Normandy were scary.
372
00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:10,649
Ooh.
373
00:15:10,779 --> 00:15:12,779
I'm sorry.
E-Everyone is just so focused
374
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,222
-on my age recently.
-Ah.
375
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,828
I mean,
Kris thinks I need a break
376
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,569
-from taking care
of my granddaughters.
-Hmm.
377
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,534
I see. All right, well...
378
00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:22,879
Well, do you?
379
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:24,579
No. I-I didn't have any trouble
380
00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:27,402
-when I was taking care of Boyd
when he was little.
-Mm.
381
00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:29,015
How old is Boyd now?
382
00:15:29,189 --> 00:15:31,369
-That's not important.
-Uh...
383
00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:33,062
I think it is.
384
00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:34,113
You were like a second mother
to him.
385
00:15:35,151 --> 00:15:36,811
Can you imagine
having a kid now?
386
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,236
-Ugh. God forbid.
387
00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:42,993
Also, Mike had a vasectomy,
so...
388
00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:44,416
I mean,
crawling around on the floor,
389
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:46,552
-chasing after them, picking up.
-Mm.
390
00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:48,434
I don't know about you,
391
00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:50,036
but I'd be falling asleep
in the middle of the day.
392
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:52,690
That-that would be embarrassing.
393
00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:57,261
You're at a different stage now.
Just embrace it.
394
00:15:57,391 --> 00:15:59,351
What does that even mean? What?
395
00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:01,003
What, am I supposed to go out
and buy hard candies
396
00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:02,924
and-and take up knitting?
397
00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:06,527
Come on. I-I'm not ready
to be put out to pasture.
398
00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:08,177
Oh. I understand.
399
00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:11,011
Inside,
I feel like I'm 16 or 17.
400
00:16:11,144 --> 00:16:12,884
And every time
I look in the mirror,
401
00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:14,705
I'm shocked to see
my Uncle Ernesto.
402
00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:20,408
Well, I hope I never see
my Aunt Florence.
403
00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:23,289
Come on, now.
404
00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:24,593
Life is changing,
whether you like it or not.
405
00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:26,992
like it.
406
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,418
Well, that is easy to say, Ed.
407
00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:32,381
No, it's a good thing
to do though.
408
00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:36,083
Mark Twain said, "Age is
an issue of mind over matter.
409
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:38,946
If you don't mind,
it doesn't matter."
410
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:40,605
All right. I like that.
411
00:16:40,738 --> 00:16:41,608
I'll remember it.
412
00:16:41,739 --> 00:16:42,959
Yeah, but write it down,
413
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:45,089
because memory's
the first thing to go.
414
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:52,748
Listen, I was gonna have
this bear claw,
415
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:54,057
but it's the last one. It's
your favorite. You want that?
416
00:16:54,187 --> 00:16:56,797
Wrong. You know nothing of me.
417
00:16:57,886 --> 00:16:59,626
Are we still talking about this?
418
00:16:59,801 --> 00:17:01,191
Yeah, 'cause I'm the kind of
guy, when I get deeply wounded,
419
00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:02,894
it takes me a long time
to get over it.
420
00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:06,158
But, uh, why would I expect you
to know that?
421
00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:08,716
Listen, you don't know anything
about me.
422
00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:10,293
What-What's my mother's name?
423
00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:11,860
Jean. She was a schoolteacher.
424
00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:14,117
Once bowled a 300.
425
00:17:15,860 --> 00:17:17,860
Okay, this is just weird.
426
00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:19,343
No, I'm just a good friend.
427
00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:21,563
Well, then how come
my skin is crawling?
428
00:17:21,736 --> 00:17:23,776
This isn't what I'd call
friendship.
429
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:27,572
So how does the great
Mike Baxter define friendship?
430
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:30,785
Mm. Somebody who doesn't make me
jump through hoops.
431
00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:32,572
Maybe accepts me the way I am.
432
00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:34,623
Sarcastic, distant,
doesn't give a damn?
433
00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:36,575
Nailed it.
434
00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:38,881
So you're like a cat.
435
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:41,714
Sure, but I'm not gonna rub
against your leg.
436
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:43,929
Yeah, like a cat. I mean,
your cats like you, right?
437
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,456
Yeah, of course.
438
00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:47,326
All right. But sometimes
they walk up to you,
439
00:17:47,457 --> 00:17:48,847
look at you, you say hi
and they just ignore you.
440
00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:50,287
Well, duh, they're cats.
441
00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:51,680
So am I.
442
00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:53,809
You know, you're right.
443
00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:56,025
You know, I remember
one time Nigel Tickletail,
444
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:57,032
you know, we would get--
445
00:17:57,163 --> 00:18:00,173
Not-not funny, Baxter!
446
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,430
And stay off the furniture!
447
00:18:08,478 --> 00:18:10,178
Oh, good.
You're home.
448
00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:12,176
Don't worry.
I'll leave you alone.
449
00:18:12,308 --> 00:18:15,268
Also known
as "minding my own beeswax."
450
00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:17,622
No, Jen. Please, just--
Come-come sit down.
451
00:18:17,748 --> 00:18:19,138
Um...
452
00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:21,192
This is for you.
453
00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:31,938
Wow. A bag of dirt?
454
00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:34,417
Well, it's soil. Um...
455
00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:36,288
You know, I read on the Internet
456
00:18:36,419 --> 00:18:37,729
there's
this ancient Chinese custom
457
00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:40,815
where you give soil
to someone you've wronged.
458
00:18:40,945 --> 00:18:43,555
You know, so for-forgiveness
can grow.
459
00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:46,474
Yeah, I think
that's an ancient Chinese joke.
460
00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:51,091
Besides, I'm the one at fault.
461
00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:52,517
I overstepped.
462
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:55,663
Sit. Look...
463
00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:57,400
You were only doing
464
00:18:57,527 --> 00:18:59,487
what everyone else
in this family does.
465
00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:01,396
When someone has a problem,
we all come together
466
00:19:01,531 --> 00:19:03,971
and-and we help each other out.
467
00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:05,669
What are you saying?
468
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:08,536
Sorry to tell you this, Jen,
but you are a Baxter.
469
00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:11,667
Look, I-I was lashing out at you
470
00:19:11,846 --> 00:19:15,886
because I wasn't being honest
with myself.
471
00:19:16,024 --> 00:19:19,554
The truth is, I'm turning f...
472
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:21,810
55.
473
00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:26,031
I'm turning 55?
474
00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:28,601
Yeah, I'm-I'm turning 55.
475
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,043
Really?
476
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:32,693
The way you were freaking out,
477
00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:35,223
I thought you were way older
than that.
478
00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:43,144
Yeah. No, you know what, it
was silly of me not to own it.
479
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:44,619
I was so focused
on what I was losing
480
00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:47,395
that I kind of lost sight
of what I was gaining.
481
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,710
Mm. You know,
it's true what they say--
482
00:19:49,884 --> 00:19:52,584
people do get wiser
as they get ol--
483
00:19:52,713 --> 00:19:54,283
-Uh-oh.
-No, no, no. It's okay.
484
00:19:54,454 --> 00:19:56,064
Go. You say it. Say it.
485
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,065
...der.
486
00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,890
Yes. I am older.
487
00:20:00,024 --> 00:20:02,464
But, you know,
in a lot of ways...
488
00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:05,332
-I like myself even better.
-Hmm.
489
00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:06,935
In fact, I think
I'm gonna go for a training run.
490
00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:07,635
You want to join me?
491
00:20:07,771 --> 00:20:08,821
Yeah, of course.
492
00:20:08,946 --> 00:20:10,726
I'm a Baxter.
493
00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:12,991
I'm a Baxter?
494
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:15,476
-I'm a Baxter.
-Mm!
495
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:18,425
-You're a Baxter.
496
00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:25,956
Hey, Mike Baxter here
for Outdoor Man,
497
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:27,917
talking about friendship.
498
00:20:28,052 --> 00:20:30,932
It's a compound word made up of
one of the most beautiful things
499
00:20:31,055 --> 00:20:32,665
humans have ever created.
500
00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:34,763
And the other word is "friend."
501
00:20:34,885 --> 00:20:36,965
Man, oh, man,
ships are awesome, aren't they?
502
00:20:37,148 --> 00:20:38,538
The Mayflower, Old Ironsides,
503
00:20:38,715 --> 00:20:41,975
and my favorite,
the badass USS Missouri.
504
00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:43,550
Friends?
505
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:45,330
Kind of funny,
but there was a funnier show on
506
00:20:45,461 --> 00:20:47,071
on another network.
507
00:20:47,202 --> 00:20:49,772
Sure, I know we're living
in the golden age of bromance.
508
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:51,420
Men can't stop hugging
each other,
509
00:20:51,554 --> 00:20:53,124
telling each other
how they feel.
510
00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:56,075
I'd say,
"Oh, for crying out loud."
511
00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:57,601
But is crying out loud
512
00:20:57,734 --> 00:21:00,134
something men can't wait to do
with each other?
513
00:21:00,215 --> 00:21:01,345
Listen, when we were kids,
514
00:21:01,477 --> 00:21:03,737
to communicate with each other
was implied.
515
00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,921
All you had to do
was share a glance
516
00:21:06,003 --> 00:21:08,183
and be willing to ride our bikes
off a roof
517
00:21:08,310 --> 00:21:10,180
and land in a pile of leaves.
518
00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:11,752
Or just miss the pile of leaves.
519
00:21:11,879 --> 00:21:14,359
The nod was good enough.
Just...
520
00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:16,670
Huh? We were pals. Pals.
521
00:21:16,797 --> 00:21:18,887
Nothing needed to be said
for pals,
522
00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:22,236
except "Should we call
an ambulance or just run away?"
523
00:21:22,368 --> 00:21:23,928
When we were kids,
524
00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:25,891
being pals was enough.
525
00:21:26,023 --> 00:21:28,033
But adults have to have
friendships.
526
00:21:28,199 --> 00:21:31,459
To make matters worse, we have
to talk about those friendships.
527
00:21:31,594 --> 00:21:33,384
No, thanks. Battleships?
528
00:21:33,509 --> 00:21:36,029
I'll talk about them
all day long.
529
00:21:36,164 --> 00:21:37,734
Baxter out.
530
00:21:41,125 --> 00:21:41,735
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
531
00:21:41,865 --> 00:21:43,075
and TOYOTA.
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