All language subtitles for Kevin.Can.Fuck.Himself.S01E03

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:09,109 Oh, simple Allison. 2 00:00:09,636 --> 00:00:12,359 Previously on "Kevin Can [BLEEP] Himself"... 3 00:00:12,384 --> 00:00:15,170 I just don't know when I got so isolated from everyone. 4 00:00:15,195 --> 00:00:17,166 You blew up my life. Was that just for fun? 5 00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:18,546 I felt sorry for you. 6 00:00:18,571 --> 00:00:20,115 I was hoping to do some computer research. 7 00:00:20,139 --> 00:00:22,867 About a woman who decides to kill her husband. 8 00:00:22,892 --> 00:00:26,156 I killed with oxycodone and made it look like an O.D. 9 00:00:26,181 --> 00:00:28,742 These types of pills get abused. 10 00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:30,632 Yeah, I've heard. 11 00:00:30,657 --> 00:00:32,898 - I swear, I know someone. - Thank you. 12 00:00:32,923 --> 00:00:34,359 Oh, it's drugs. 13 00:00:35,039 --> 00:00:36,632 Shit. 14 00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:43,130 Dad! 15 00:00:43,429 --> 00:00:44,914 I hope you still have some contacts 16 00:00:44,939 --> 00:00:48,016 in the Miracles Department of the church, because this... 17 00:00:48,041 --> 00:00:49,274 ... qualifies. 18 00:00:50,398 --> 00:00:51,671 That is a great bag. 19 00:00:51,696 --> 00:00:53,437 Very roomy. 20 00:00:53,462 --> 00:00:55,551 I think he's talking about what's inside. 21 00:00:55,576 --> 00:00:57,578 Please don't be alive. Please don't be alive. 22 00:00:57,603 --> 00:00:59,213 Also, please don't be dead. 23 00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:02,428 So, there I was, walking down the street. 24 00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:04,560 No one else was around when... boom! 25 00:01:04,585 --> 00:01:06,671 This just appeared in front of me. 26 00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:10,789 Kevin! 27 00:01:12,484 --> 00:01:14,771 "Hart Live at the Worcester Centrum." 28 00:01:14,796 --> 00:01:16,467 W... You took that?! 29 00:01:16,733 --> 00:01:19,882 The wind took it off the side of the Worcester Centrum. 30 00:01:20,158 --> 00:01:21,447 And it's got your name on it, 31 00:01:21,472 --> 00:01:23,320 so legally, it belongs to you. 32 00:01:23,345 --> 00:01:26,539 Wow, your grasp of the legal system is so interesting. 33 00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:29,045 My public defender said the same thing. 34 00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:31,968 Let's hang my banner off the side of the house, yeah? 35 00:01:31,993 --> 00:01:34,199 After we staple the good sheets over 36 00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:36,052 anything that doesn't say "Kevin." 37 00:01:36,077 --> 00:01:37,855 Why would you specify the good... 38 00:01:37,979 --> 00:01:39,459 Never mind. 39 00:01:39,484 --> 00:01:42,058 Alright, ideas on how we can do this? 40 00:01:42,225 --> 00:01:44,100 I got my dad's towing winches. 41 00:01:44,125 --> 00:01:45,366 You're a winch. 42 00:01:46,809 --> 00:01:50,021 No, guys, we use the towing winches 43 00:01:50,046 --> 00:01:51,415 to do a pulley system. 44 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,784 A "system?" Patty, we're climbing one roof. 45 00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:55,343 We're not gonna take Vegas. 46 00:01:55,513 --> 00:01:56,818 I know. 47 00:01:56,843 --> 00:01:58,205 Neil, you shimmy up the drain pipe 48 00:01:58,230 --> 00:01:59,906 and hang it off the old lightning rod. 49 00:01:59,931 --> 00:02:01,906 I'm sure it doesn't do anything important. 50 00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:03,079 Please be careful. 51 00:02:03,104 --> 00:02:05,084 - On it. - Fine! Do it your way! 52 00:02:05,109 --> 00:02:06,251 - Oh. - I'd say break a leg... 53 00:02:06,275 --> 00:02:07,667 but Neil most definitely will. 54 00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:19,133 _ 55 00:02:29,907 --> 00:02:31,720 My brother broke his leg. 56 00:02:33,379 --> 00:02:35,579 40 megs of OxyContin, comin' up. 57 00:02:37,675 --> 00:02:40,222 Remember you missed prom 'cause Neil got a concussion? 58 00:02:41,667 --> 00:02:43,359 Yeah, Terrance. 59 00:02:43,384 --> 00:02:45,360 That's why I didn't go to the prom. 60 00:02:46,532 --> 00:02:48,820 I called ahead, you know. They should be ready. 61 00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,210 Gotta wait all day? 62 00:02:51,544 --> 00:02:53,503 You know, these pills are pricey. 63 00:02:53,784 --> 00:02:56,265 I could get my hands on some generics for you. 64 00:02:56,290 --> 00:02:57,438 In the future. 65 00:02:57,463 --> 00:02:59,857 It's alright. Medicaid covers it. 66 00:03:00,121 --> 00:03:01,718 I mean, like... 67 00:03:01,743 --> 00:03:03,487 they only give you 10 of these. 68 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,212 So if your brother ever needs a refill, 69 00:03:06,237 --> 00:03:09,501 come back and see me for the generic. 70 00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:12,884 Oh, I... 71 00:03:14,609 --> 00:03:16,243 No. 72 00:03:19,614 --> 00:03:20,958 You got a degree. 73 00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:22,550 A good job. 74 00:03:22,837 --> 00:03:25,117 Don't be an idiot with this stuff, Terrance. 75 00:03:25,616 --> 00:03:26,895 With what? 76 00:03:31,888 --> 00:03:34,276 Okay, lady, let's get you out of this chair. 77 00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:36,281 - Ooh. - You got it? 78 00:03:36,306 --> 00:03:37,759 I'm not an invalid yet. 79 00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,478 Okay. Okay. 80 00:03:43,270 --> 00:03:46,099 Oh, before I forget, hand me my pocket book. 81 00:03:47,835 --> 00:03:49,837 I think you'll like it. 82 00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:52,142 Nobody has taken it out in ages, 83 00:03:52,175 --> 00:03:54,308 so, eh, just keep it. 84 00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:56,498 _ 85 00:03:58,998 --> 00:04:00,501 Thanks. 86 00:04:00,986 --> 00:04:02,631 Oh, Jesus. 87 00:04:03,498 --> 00:04:04,910 Oh... 88 00:04:04,935 --> 00:04:07,615 Hey. You okay? 89 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,723 It's just this damn sciatica. 90 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,339 My do-gooder sister-in-law's 91 00:04:12,364 --> 00:04:14,514 taken to picking up my groceries for me. 92 00:04:14,539 --> 00:04:16,193 I-I-It's just hard. 93 00:04:16,361 --> 00:04:17,710 Friggin' doctor visits 94 00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:19,215 are too expensive without insurance, 95 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:20,583 and the pain is just... 96 00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,935 You know, some days, it's just bad. 97 00:04:23,995 --> 00:04:25,849 Judi. 98 00:04:26,603 --> 00:04:28,207 I'm fine. 99 00:04:41,231 --> 00:04:43,621 I'm gonna be needing some generics. 100 00:04:50,683 --> 00:04:55,683 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 101 00:04:56,867 --> 00:05:00,207 _ 102 00:05:00,232 --> 00:05:02,090 What the hell are you doing here? 103 00:05:02,462 --> 00:05:04,308 - I... - You've never been in here before. 104 00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:07,467 I know. But I want a wash. 105 00:05:10,198 --> 00:05:11,805 Like Barb gets. 106 00:05:11,830 --> 00:05:13,418 - No, you don't. - Yes, I do. 107 00:05:13,443 --> 00:05:15,289 I need them. I need it. 108 00:05:15,314 --> 00:05:16,619 Why? 109 00:05:18,219 --> 00:05:19,830 Back pain. 110 00:05:22,102 --> 00:05:23,391 - Bullshit. - Okay, well, 111 00:05:23,416 --> 00:05:24,638 how the hell would you know? 112 00:05:24,663 --> 00:05:25,664 Because you're a terrible liar. 113 00:05:25,688 --> 00:05:27,328 Even you don't believe what you're saying. 114 00:05:28,336 --> 00:05:30,334 Oh, Jesus, why does this have to be so hard? 115 00:05:31,878 --> 00:05:33,287 I don't have anything for you. 116 00:05:33,312 --> 00:05:34,562 Of course you don't. 117 00:05:34,859 --> 00:05:38,469 You'll have to wait till I re-up Monday afternoon. 118 00:05:39,425 --> 00:05:41,166 W... Monday? 119 00:05:41,191 --> 00:05:44,275 Like, this Monday? Like, three da... Like, 72 hours? 120 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,984 We all know you can do math. 121 00:05:46,009 --> 00:05:49,803 Okay, that... Monday is great. 122 00:05:49,828 --> 00:05:50,872 That is amazing. 123 00:05:50,897 --> 00:05:54,824 I will be here for the wash on Monday. 124 00:05:55,266 --> 00:05:56,590 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 125 00:05:56,615 --> 00:05:57,834 Okay. 126 00:05:57,859 --> 00:05:59,459 But for now, get out of here. 127 00:05:59,805 --> 00:06:03,553 - Is it, like, dangerous or something? - No. 128 00:06:03,578 --> 00:06:05,891 I'm just done being around you. 129 00:06:09,032 --> 00:06:10,945 Thank you. 130 00:06:15,956 --> 00:06:17,741 Here for another free coffee? 131 00:06:17,766 --> 00:06:19,727 Wait, you serve free coffee here? 132 00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:22,357 Uh, you keep leaving before you actually pay. 133 00:06:22,687 --> 00:06:24,750 Oh, my gosh. You're right. 134 00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:27,256 I... Well, I promise to pay for this one... 135 00:06:27,281 --> 00:06:28,883 And the other two. 136 00:06:28,908 --> 00:06:30,757 It's been sitting for a while. Make a fresh pot. 137 00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,566 No, no, I'm not picky. 138 00:06:34,367 --> 00:06:36,664 Um... 139 00:06:36,689 --> 00:06:40,171 I am sorry for the other night. 140 00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:41,992 Just had a really bad day, 141 00:06:42,017 --> 00:06:45,156 and you were saying some stuff that I didn't, uh... 142 00:06:45,181 --> 00:06:46,694 It's not a big deal. 143 00:06:46,719 --> 00:06:48,883 Wha... No, I was rude. 144 00:06:49,246 --> 00:06:51,336 When I'm around you, I feel... 145 00:06:51,671 --> 00:06:54,797 I don't know... 15, and I was a brat at 15. 146 00:06:54,822 --> 00:06:57,522 So I am sorry. 147 00:07:01,831 --> 00:07:03,746 - It's cold. - I told you I'd make a new pot. 148 00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:05,105 - I c... it's not... - No, no. 149 00:07:05,129 --> 00:07:07,471 No, it's okay. I deserve this. 150 00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:11,479 Mmm. 151 00:07:11,504 --> 00:07:13,831 - Mm. - Mm. So stoic. 152 00:07:18,592 --> 00:07:21,237 I'm sorry, too. 153 00:07:22,034 --> 00:07:24,751 I think I was kinda harsh to cover the fact 154 00:07:24,776 --> 00:07:27,795 that seeing you again makes me feel a little... 155 00:07:27,972 --> 00:07:29,244 guilty. 156 00:07:29,892 --> 00:07:31,046 Oh, yeah? 157 00:07:31,071 --> 00:07:33,334 When I was working the steps with my sponsor, 158 00:07:33,472 --> 00:07:36,050 I listed out people to make amends to, 159 00:07:36,075 --> 00:07:38,208 and you were on there. 160 00:07:38,722 --> 00:07:41,050 Maybe towards the top. 161 00:07:41,075 --> 00:07:43,073 If anyone deserved a call... 162 00:07:44,054 --> 00:07:45,752 I just didn't do it. 163 00:07:46,487 --> 00:07:48,120 What, did you lose my number? 164 00:07:48,145 --> 00:07:49,683 Nope, just a coward. 165 00:07:55,039 --> 00:07:58,238 You know, I'm getting my chip in AA tomorrow night. 166 00:07:58,590 --> 00:08:00,069 Eight years sober. 167 00:08:00,094 --> 00:08:01,412 - Eight years? - Yeah. 168 00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,004 Wow! 169 00:08:03,029 --> 00:08:05,684 Feel like I don't even know this version of you. 170 00:08:07,164 --> 00:08:09,121 You look the same, though. 171 00:08:10,893 --> 00:08:13,199 I like that you think I'm the same. 172 00:08:15,586 --> 00:08:17,113 You are. 173 00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:22,324 They say to invite people to these things. 174 00:08:24,010 --> 00:08:26,481 Would you come? 175 00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:29,396 Consider it me making my amends. 176 00:08:33,234 --> 00:08:36,077 So, you got a special occasion you wanna look nice for? 177 00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:39,507 Sure, my husband's taking me to Paris. 178 00:08:40,407 --> 00:08:43,140 No, this is self-care. 179 00:08:43,350 --> 00:08:45,593 Last time, we did those swoopy layers. 180 00:08:45,618 --> 00:08:47,763 Cathy in accountin' says, "Nice haircut." 181 00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:49,529 And I knew what she meant. 182 00:08:49,647 --> 00:08:52,463 And she's insisting on a band. Can you imagine? 183 00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:54,319 No. 184 00:08:54,791 --> 00:08:56,757 - Hey. - Hey, Cindy. 185 00:08:57,858 --> 00:09:00,201 Hoping you can squeeze me in for a wash? 186 00:09:00,226 --> 00:09:02,063 Okay, great. 187 00:09:02,389 --> 00:09:04,179 One sec, hon. 188 00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:06,882 Let's have a look at the book. 189 00:09:08,218 --> 00:09:11,115 So, thing is, I'm cleaned out at the moment. 190 00:09:11,525 --> 00:09:13,812 We had a couple people in rough shape this week, 191 00:09:13,837 --> 00:09:15,849 needed a bit more, but I'm re-upping Monday. 192 00:09:15,874 --> 00:09:17,710 I sorta need 'em now. 193 00:09:18,271 --> 00:09:20,030 Listen, Cindy, I know your knee's blown, 194 00:09:20,055 --> 00:09:22,630 but for a day or two, toss back a few ibuprofen. 195 00:09:22,655 --> 00:09:24,085 - It'll be fine. - Patty. 196 00:09:24,110 --> 00:09:26,025 Ibuprofen? Are you serious?! 197 00:09:29,111 --> 00:09:31,123 I really need them. 198 00:09:32,438 --> 00:09:33,939 Okay. 199 00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:35,792 Let me see what I can do, okay? 200 00:09:36,373 --> 00:09:37,561 - Thank you. - Yeah. 201 00:09:37,586 --> 00:09:38,858 Thank you. 202 00:09:41,135 --> 00:09:44,863 For last time. Thanks f-for frontin' for me. 203 00:09:45,363 --> 00:09:46,952 It won't happen again. 204 00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:48,196 No big thing. 205 00:10:02,229 --> 00:10:04,364 Hey, babe, you might want to keep your coat on, 206 00:10:04,389 --> 00:10:07,114 'cause it's about to get "chili" in here. 207 00:10:07,716 --> 00:10:09,161 Chili, the food. 208 00:10:09,764 --> 00:10:11,716 Thank you for clearing that up, Neil. 209 00:10:13,202 --> 00:10:15,372 Can't you just buy the chili this year? 210 00:10:15,895 --> 00:10:17,417 Sweet Allison. 211 00:10:17,442 --> 00:10:19,489 The Renzulli Brothers don't plow our street 212 00:10:19,514 --> 00:10:21,216 in exchange for store-bought chili. 213 00:10:21,241 --> 00:10:22,988 No, they do it 'cause we pay taxes. 214 00:10:23,599 --> 00:10:26,138 The Renzulli Brothers plow our street 215 00:10:26,163 --> 00:10:28,521 early and often because we bribe them in, 216 00:10:28,546 --> 00:10:31,344 and I quote, "Yummy-nummy chili in their tummies." 217 00:10:32,907 --> 00:10:34,304 That's right, and this year, 218 00:10:34,329 --> 00:10:35,729 we're making an extra-special batch 219 00:10:35,754 --> 00:10:37,232 with deep-fried turkey meat... 220 00:10:37,257 --> 00:10:39,521 Prepared, of course, using my brand-new 221 00:10:39,546 --> 00:10:43,400 55,000 BTU All-Pro Stainless Steel Turkey Deep Fryer. 222 00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:44,458 Ooh! 223 00:10:44,483 --> 00:10:46,664 She is a sexy little contraption. 224 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,691 I call her the "Dirty Birdie." 225 00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:50,269 Is that the, uh... 226 00:10:50,294 --> 00:10:51,795 The thing that's set up in our driveway? 227 00:10:51,819 --> 00:10:53,802 Bingo! Best to do it outdoors. 228 00:10:53,827 --> 00:10:55,896 Frying a turkey can be very dangerous. 229 00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:57,871 Yeah, sometimes they explode, 230 00:10:57,896 --> 00:10:59,505 and no one knows why. 231 00:11:00,374 --> 00:11:01,723 Sounds violent. 232 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:04,935 Don't worry, Mom, I'll be careful. 233 00:11:06,028 --> 00:11:07,255 Oh. 234 00:11:08,146 --> 00:11:10,013 Neil's cooking the exploding turkey. 235 00:11:10,038 --> 00:11:11,779 Yeah. Why? 236 00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:14,552 I guess I was just confused 'cause you usually cook the meat, 237 00:11:14,577 --> 00:11:15,841 so I thought it was your chili. 238 00:11:15,866 --> 00:11:18,809 It is, since I'm the magician behind it. 239 00:11:18,980 --> 00:11:21,801 Uh, well, you know, we both work on it, so... 240 00:11:21,826 --> 00:11:24,615 Yeah, but I'm the main magician. 241 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,817 You're the random audience member 242 00:11:26,842 --> 00:11:29,018 we can all agree I've never met before. 243 00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:33,214 Um, you're wrong. 244 00:11:34,834 --> 00:11:36,762 What? I said "no offense." 245 00:11:36,918 --> 00:11:38,267 No, you didn't. 246 00:11:38,292 --> 00:11:39,804 I'm wrong? 247 00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:42,090 Uh, if I'm so wrong, 248 00:11:42,115 --> 00:11:44,374 how come my plans, ideas, and goof-arounds work out 249 00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:45,606 99% of the time? 250 00:11:45,639 --> 00:11:48,813 Uh, 'cause you got me jukin' stats and crackin' skulls. 251 00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:50,004 You need me. 252 00:11:50,044 --> 00:11:51,668 Pssh, I don't need anybody. 253 00:11:51,693 --> 00:11:53,260 Fine, then I'll take my 254 00:11:53,285 --> 00:11:55,664 55,000 BTU All-Pro Stainless Steel Turkey Deep Fryer 255 00:11:55,689 --> 00:11:57,082 and make my own chili, 256 00:11:57,107 --> 00:11:59,936 and it's gonna blow yours into the water. 257 00:12:01,248 --> 00:12:04,098 A chili cook-off? 258 00:12:04,616 --> 00:12:06,856 Good luck making anything the Renzulli Bros respect 259 00:12:06,881 --> 00:12:08,143 without my help. 260 00:12:08,168 --> 00:12:11,227 Pfff. I don't need your help! 261 00:12:12,443 --> 00:12:14,317 - 'Cause I've got Allison! - Oh! 262 00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:16,387 She's gonna help me cook the chili, 263 00:12:16,412 --> 00:12:18,277 and she is way better than you. 264 00:12:18,406 --> 00:12:21,184 I can't believe you'd stoop that low. 265 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:23,848 Oh, we're playing limbo now, baby. 266 00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:26,387 You don't even know how low I can go! 267 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,285 Welcome to the Dream Team, baby. 268 00:12:30,353 --> 00:12:32,418 Yeah, you get out of here with that turkey. 269 00:12:32,567 --> 00:12:34,238 Leave my carrot! 270 00:13:06,830 --> 00:13:08,816 - Neil's not in there. - Geez. 271 00:13:09,904 --> 00:13:11,442 Starting to think I should tie a little bell 272 00:13:11,466 --> 00:13:12,854 to all your cardigans. 273 00:13:13,504 --> 00:13:15,346 This is a new look for you. 274 00:13:15,371 --> 00:13:17,361 No, it's actually an old look. 275 00:13:17,754 --> 00:13:20,707 I used to have a burger every day after swim practice. 276 00:13:20,732 --> 00:13:22,246 I had to earn it. 277 00:13:22,271 --> 00:13:23,715 You go swimming today? 278 00:13:23,740 --> 00:13:26,047 Nope, but I earned it. 279 00:13:26,402 --> 00:13:28,466 And... 280 00:13:28,786 --> 00:13:30,831 the second one was only 50�, 281 00:13:31,262 --> 00:13:33,174 and I can't pass up a deal, so... 282 00:13:33,199 --> 00:13:34,488 You want it? 283 00:13:46,129 --> 00:13:48,697 Of course you're the kind of girl who's always cold. 284 00:13:49,884 --> 00:13:51,879 Why are you eating outside? 285 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,340 Um, I'm just stalling. 286 00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:58,840 Kevin's inside. He and Neil got into a fight. 287 00:13:58,865 --> 00:14:01,112 - They don't do that. - They do now, I guess. 288 00:14:01,137 --> 00:14:02,536 It was nice for the first 30 seconds 289 00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:03,965 until Kevin started looking to me 290 00:14:03,990 --> 00:14:05,950 to fill the Neil-sized hole. 291 00:14:06,404 --> 00:14:08,518 As soon as I go in there, he's gonna put me to work. 292 00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:10,023 So, don't do it. 293 00:14:10,899 --> 00:14:12,814 Like that's an option. 294 00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:15,660 He's just gonna whine until I, like, 295 00:14:15,685 --> 00:14:18,789 drive 90 miles to get pork belly, 296 00:14:18,814 --> 00:14:20,729 or something stupid like that. 297 00:14:20,981 --> 00:14:23,558 This fight between 'em's gonna be the end of me. 298 00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:25,448 Allison, I'm always impressed 299 00:14:25,473 --> 00:14:27,035 with how you can make nothing to do with you 300 00:14:27,059 --> 00:14:28,676 all about you. 301 00:14:29,725 --> 00:14:30,909 Okay. 302 00:14:30,934 --> 00:14:32,012 Well, if I'm so obnoxious, 303 00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:33,066 why don't you go in there 304 00:14:33,091 --> 00:14:35,707 and deal with Kevin's chili hysteria? 305 00:14:35,732 --> 00:14:37,691 Or go home and deal with Neil's. 306 00:14:37,716 --> 00:14:39,941 Go on, Patty. Go be one of the boys. 307 00:14:45,043 --> 00:14:46,790 I knew it. 308 00:14:47,170 --> 00:14:48,998 You hate them as much as I do. 309 00:14:49,577 --> 00:14:52,344 - I don't hate them. - Yes, you do. 310 00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:54,241 I knew it. 311 00:14:54,402 --> 00:14:56,012 I knew there was something else going on. 312 00:14:56,037 --> 00:14:58,082 I just didn't know it was selling drugs. 313 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,682 Can you just be cool? 314 00:15:01,919 --> 00:15:03,573 I'm right. 315 00:15:03,598 --> 00:15:05,270 That's way better. 316 00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:10,186 I'm so glad you're eating healthy with me. 317 00:15:11,925 --> 00:15:13,668 I can't do anything alone. 318 00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:15,824 Glad my company is good for something. 319 00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:17,957 You're good for more than that. 320 00:15:20,893 --> 00:15:23,504 Got "Ray Donovan" all ready to go. 321 00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:25,721 - I'm hooked. - Ugh. 322 00:15:25,746 --> 00:15:27,831 His accent's for shit, though. 323 00:15:27,856 --> 00:15:29,205 Yeah. 324 00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:31,582 It's true. 325 00:15:34,550 --> 00:15:36,406 Mmm. 326 00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:41,285 Guess how much this salad cost us? 327 00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:43,787 60�. 328 00:15:44,582 --> 00:15:46,815 Well, no. 329 00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:51,099 I mean, $2.49, though? 330 00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:52,669 Plus the dressing, which we already had, 331 00:15:52,693 --> 00:15:56,626 but at a salad bar, we'd be paying 7 bucks each... 332 00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:58,435 Plus tip and tax. 333 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,199 Maybe by summer, we'll save up enough 334 00:16:01,224 --> 00:16:02,617 for our own place on the Cape... 335 00:16:02,642 --> 00:16:04,851 Show off our skinny arms on the beach. 336 00:16:05,177 --> 00:16:07,745 Yeah, maybe. 337 00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:27,979 Hey, maybe tonight, we could... 338 00:16:28,004 --> 00:16:31,007 Do you mind if we don't tonight? 339 00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:34,159 Oh, yeah. Of course. 340 00:16:34,987 --> 00:16:36,343 I'm just really tired. 341 00:16:36,368 --> 00:16:38,612 Yeah, you don't have to explain. 342 00:16:38,637 --> 00:16:42,948 It's... I'm always happy just sitting here with you. 343 00:16:43,764 --> 00:16:46,432 Yeah. Me, too. 344 00:16:56,144 --> 00:16:57,244 Hey, babe. 345 00:16:57,269 --> 00:16:59,341 It's Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! 346 00:16:59,366 --> 00:17:01,987 Ugh, it's the day of rest. 347 00:17:02,178 --> 00:17:05,550 Only for lazy people like Neil who lose chili cook-offs 348 00:17:05,575 --> 00:17:07,331 'cause they rest on their Lauras. 349 00:17:07,767 --> 00:17:09,065 Rest on their what? 350 00:17:09,090 --> 00:17:11,353 Like, when you're sleeping with some chick named Laura 351 00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:12,566 and you don't want to get out of the bed, 352 00:17:12,590 --> 00:17:13,939 you're lazy. 353 00:17:15,381 --> 00:17:17,628 I learn so much being married to you. 354 00:17:17,783 --> 00:17:19,361 I love you, too, babe. 355 00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:20,831 I have to go run an errand, 356 00:17:20,856 --> 00:17:23,564 but it's for a huge surprise I have planned for ya. 357 00:17:23,589 --> 00:17:25,643 - Planned for me? - Of course. 358 00:17:25,668 --> 00:17:27,560 Well, last time you said you had something planned for me, 359 00:17:27,584 --> 00:17:29,632 you and Neil went to Rock 'N' Roll Camp. 360 00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:32,819 Who doesn't like a weekend alone? 361 00:17:34,324 --> 00:17:37,792 Now, I expect you back here this afternoon for your surprise. 362 00:17:37,817 --> 00:17:40,846 Kevin and Allison, together forevah! 363 00:17:55,518 --> 00:17:57,999 _ 364 00:18:09,959 --> 00:18:12,381 And I never called before, Terrance. 365 00:18:13,287 --> 00:18:14,865 Isn't it good that I'm out? 366 00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:18,107 I mean, I'm... I'm selling, right? 367 00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:22,492 And this is important, so... 368 00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:24,162 Hell... 369 00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,754 Geez. 370 00:18:29,748 --> 00:18:31,719 Oh, hell. 371 00:18:35,981 --> 00:18:37,261 Yes? 372 00:18:37,286 --> 00:18:39,897 Um, I was hoping you did walk-ins? 373 00:18:39,922 --> 00:18:41,707 Look, I said Monday, okay? 374 00:18:41,732 --> 00:18:44,272 - Why is everybody up my ass this week? - I mean it. 375 00:18:44,297 --> 00:18:46,412 I was hoping you could give me, like, 376 00:18:46,437 --> 00:18:48,537 a beachy wave or somethin'. 377 00:18:49,291 --> 00:18:50,928 You say "hoping" a lot. 378 00:18:51,310 --> 00:18:54,350 Well, it's nicer than saying "I want." 379 00:18:56,050 --> 00:18:58,982 Just a curl, not a whole wash. 380 00:18:59,537 --> 00:19:01,495 I'll take it. 381 00:19:01,978 --> 00:19:03,762 Whee! 382 00:19:03,787 --> 00:19:06,170 You got a special occasion you wanna look nice for? 383 00:19:06,195 --> 00:19:07,892 Uh, I was hop... 384 00:19:08,657 --> 00:19:10,254 I want to look nice, 385 00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:13,456 but, uh, I'm not sure it's a special occasion. 386 00:19:13,481 --> 00:19:16,042 I... Well, promise you won't tell Kevin? 387 00:19:16,277 --> 00:19:19,595 We're in that mutually-assured destruction territory now, yeah? 388 00:19:19,620 --> 00:19:20,855 Right. 389 00:19:21,518 --> 00:19:24,604 Well, uh, I am seeing an ex. 390 00:19:24,948 --> 00:19:26,329 Well, not really an ex. 391 00:19:26,354 --> 00:19:28,515 He, um... We used to bus tables together 392 00:19:28,540 --> 00:19:30,269 at this really terrible Mexican restaurant... 393 00:19:30,293 --> 00:19:31,599 Aunt Chiladas? 394 00:19:31,624 --> 00:19:33,277 No, Sloppy Jos�'s. 395 00:19:33,854 --> 00:19:35,320 Yeah. 396 00:19:35,354 --> 00:19:38,563 I guess we never actually, like, "dated." 397 00:19:38,588 --> 00:19:40,987 He was always with this girl from Amherst. 398 00:19:41,012 --> 00:19:42,956 Jenn, with two "N's." 399 00:19:42,981 --> 00:19:44,690 Mm, I hate her. 400 00:19:44,715 --> 00:19:48,553 Um, I would lock up and he would turn the sign off, 401 00:19:48,578 --> 00:19:50,841 and then we would go in back in the kitchen 402 00:19:50,866 --> 00:19:52,565 and fool around. 403 00:19:52,590 --> 00:19:54,846 And I didn't know Jenn that well, 404 00:19:54,871 --> 00:19:57,656 so it didn't seem quite as terrible. 405 00:19:58,307 --> 00:20:00,838 It just felt like I wanted to beat her. 406 00:20:01,130 --> 00:20:03,307 And it was fun and dangerous. 407 00:20:03,909 --> 00:20:05,666 Having sex in front of the tortilla chips 408 00:20:05,691 --> 00:20:07,389 is your idea of dangerous? 409 00:20:08,173 --> 00:20:10,390 Well, it's the worst thing I've ever done. 410 00:20:10,718 --> 00:20:12,167 So, you're gonna go fool around. 411 00:20:12,554 --> 00:20:13,701 No. 412 00:20:13,726 --> 00:20:15,301 Kinda sounds like you want to. 413 00:20:15,326 --> 00:20:17,676 - He's married. - You're married. 414 00:20:17,995 --> 00:20:19,280 E... Of co... Yes, of course. 415 00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:20,975 We're both married, yes. 416 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,867 It's not gonna happen. 417 00:20:23,881 --> 00:20:25,590 And this is what you're wearing? 418 00:20:25,896 --> 00:20:27,245 Hey. 419 00:20:28,015 --> 00:20:29,576 I'm just saying. 420 00:20:29,601 --> 00:20:31,656 You have that wrap dress from the Gap. 421 00:20:31,681 --> 00:20:34,312 Well, I'm going to go home and change, okay? 422 00:20:36,188 --> 00:20:38,168 So, what about you? 423 00:20:38,390 --> 00:20:40,429 You have fun hanging out with Kurt? 424 00:20:41,187 --> 00:20:42,514 Huh? 425 00:20:42,539 --> 00:20:44,101 Did you have fun? 426 00:20:44,652 --> 00:20:47,600 Uh, yeah. 427 00:20:47,625 --> 00:20:48,812 It was fine. 428 00:20:48,837 --> 00:20:51,143 Okay, did you go out, or...? 429 00:20:53,305 --> 00:20:55,748 - No. - Oh, okay. 430 00:20:55,773 --> 00:20:57,908 Well, that's nice. A man who can cook. 431 00:20:58,346 --> 00:21:00,172 Unless he's bad at it. Is he bad at it? 432 00:21:00,197 --> 00:21:02,451 I don't know. He... He's Kurt. 433 00:21:02,476 --> 00:21:04,176 He opened a bag of salad, put it on a plate, 434 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,865 and then watched me eat it. 435 00:21:07,033 --> 00:21:09,861 Okay, well, I'd take that over being chained to Kevin 436 00:21:09,886 --> 00:21:12,633 while he makes the world's most disgusting chili. 437 00:21:16,177 --> 00:21:18,309 Kurt thinks we're eating healthy together. 438 00:21:19,994 --> 00:21:21,404 That cheeseburger I had last night 439 00:21:21,429 --> 00:21:22,985 was my third this week. 440 00:21:25,856 --> 00:21:27,597 Shut up. 441 00:21:29,236 --> 00:21:32,196 Oh, you got all done up for me, huh, sweetie? 442 00:21:32,587 --> 00:21:34,894 Really putting yourself out there, aren't ya? 443 00:21:35,051 --> 00:21:37,532 Yeah, settling in to your new profession. 444 00:21:37,862 --> 00:21:39,404 Hey, let me know if you want me to set up 445 00:21:39,428 --> 00:21:41,720 any more appointments under the bridge. 446 00:21:48,940 --> 00:21:49,955 Yes, hello. 447 00:21:49,980 --> 00:21:52,799 Um, I was just walking by Clark Street Elementary, 448 00:21:52,824 --> 00:21:54,897 and I saw a man selling drugs. 449 00:21:54,922 --> 00:21:57,549 And I followed him to the auto body on Buckingham Ave. 450 00:21:57,574 --> 00:21:59,345 He works there. 451 00:21:59,658 --> 00:22:01,426 Please help, because I don't want this monster 452 00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:03,541 getting children hooked on drugs. 453 00:22:04,552 --> 00:22:06,169 Okay, well, you're welcome. 454 00:22:06,470 --> 00:22:08,254 Thank you for your time. 455 00:22:08,279 --> 00:22:09,665 Okay, bye-bye. 456 00:22:16,612 --> 00:22:18,224 Kev, you back yet? 457 00:22:29,024 --> 00:22:31,428 Jesus Christ, Kev, come on. 458 00:22:43,038 --> 00:22:44,318 Oh, hey! 459 00:22:44,343 --> 00:22:45,866 Perfect timing! 460 00:22:46,523 --> 00:22:49,607 - Guess what I got? - A pig. 461 00:22:49,632 --> 00:22:51,271 Dinga-ding-ding! 462 00:22:51,296 --> 00:22:53,168 This is our trump card, baby! 463 00:22:53,193 --> 00:22:55,335 It's, um, staring at me. 464 00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:56,412 Can you... 465 00:22:56,437 --> 00:22:59,048 Oh, there you go. Much better. 466 00:22:59,073 --> 00:23:00,335 Peek-a-boo! 467 00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:01,646 Just kidding. 468 00:23:03,219 --> 00:23:04,612 I'm just kidding. 469 00:23:05,238 --> 00:23:07,271 Stupid Neil thinks he's gonna win 470 00:23:07,296 --> 00:23:09,707 with bird meat when I got a pig on my side! 471 00:23:10,867 --> 00:23:14,455 This is game over, right here. 472 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,525 Certainly is for the pig. 473 00:23:16,673 --> 00:23:18,879 I'm gonna cook him as God intended... 474 00:23:18,904 --> 00:23:21,490 All night long over a roaring open flame 475 00:23:21,515 --> 00:23:23,168 10 feet from our house. 476 00:23:23,193 --> 00:23:24,683 It's gonna be a great time, babe! 477 00:23:24,708 --> 00:23:26,162 You're gonna love it. 478 00:23:27,060 --> 00:23:28,810 I'm gonna love it? 479 00:23:28,835 --> 00:23:31,582 Oh, yes. That's my surprise. 480 00:23:31,607 --> 00:23:33,506 You and me... Kevin and Allison... 481 00:23:33,531 --> 00:23:36,142 The greatest duo that this backyard has ever seen. 482 00:23:36,167 --> 00:23:37,951 We got eight hours of togetherness 483 00:23:37,976 --> 00:23:39,935 over a roasting pig. 484 00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:42,570 You want me to be here? 485 00:23:42,595 --> 00:23:44,263 I can't do this on my own! 486 00:23:44,288 --> 00:23:46,285 Not that I need anyone! 487 00:23:46,310 --> 00:23:47,529 Okay, well, all you have to do 488 00:23:47,554 --> 00:23:49,943 is just watch an open flame and try not to fall asleep, 489 00:23:49,968 --> 00:23:51,451 so w-why do you need me here? 490 00:23:51,476 --> 00:23:54,131 It's so much more than just not falling asleep. 491 00:23:54,257 --> 00:23:57,107 Neil and I... 492 00:23:58,022 --> 00:24:00,755 That neighbor guy and I 493 00:24:00,780 --> 00:24:03,240 used to do this sort of stuff all the time. 494 00:24:03,265 --> 00:24:05,398 Come on, it's gonna be the best time. 495 00:24:05,431 --> 00:24:08,204 We got an excuse to pound beers all night long. 496 00:24:08,229 --> 00:24:10,035 And then, around 3:00 A.M., 497 00:24:10,060 --> 00:24:12,896 I'll do my line-for-line reenactment of "Good Will Hunting." 498 00:24:12,921 --> 00:24:15,733 - Oh, as great as that sounds, I... - Allison. 499 00:24:15,758 --> 00:24:17,107 It's not your fault. 500 00:24:17,649 --> 00:24:19,113 Yeah, I-I know. 501 00:24:19,138 --> 00:24:20,275 It's not your fault, Allison. 502 00:24:20,299 --> 00:24:21,605 Yes. No, I understand. 503 00:24:21,630 --> 00:24:22,723 - Allison. - It's from the film. 504 00:24:22,747 --> 00:24:24,096 - It's not your fault. - Uh-huh. 505 00:24:24,121 --> 00:24:26,192 I mean, see? How great is that?! 506 00:24:26,217 --> 00:24:27,755 Where else are you gonna be? 507 00:24:27,780 --> 00:24:29,130 Well, I have a work... 508 00:24:29,155 --> 00:24:31,880 I have a work at the package store. 509 00:24:33,145 --> 00:24:34,712 I'll be here. 510 00:24:34,737 --> 00:24:36,537 Waitin' for you. 511 00:24:38,845 --> 00:24:40,340 "So will I!" 512 00:24:45,022 --> 00:24:46,372 It was his fault! 513 00:24:54,434 --> 00:24:55,947 Hey. 514 00:24:55,972 --> 00:24:57,310 Would you just hold on one second? 515 00:24:57,334 --> 00:24:58,640 Yeah, sure. 516 00:24:58,993 --> 00:25:00,386 Hey. 517 00:25:00,411 --> 00:25:01,587 - Hi. - Oh, my God. 518 00:25:01,612 --> 00:25:04,390 - Uh... - S-Sorry. Hi. 519 00:25:04,730 --> 00:25:05,941 So glad you made it. 520 00:25:05,982 --> 00:25:07,301 - Ugh. - Uh, you look great. 521 00:25:07,326 --> 00:25:09,746 Oh, thank you. 522 00:25:09,931 --> 00:25:12,621 Uh, I-I don't really know what to do. 523 00:25:12,646 --> 00:25:14,465 I've never been to one of these before. 524 00:25:14,490 --> 00:25:16,418 Oh, yeah, don't worry. It's not a big deal. 525 00:25:16,443 --> 00:25:18,753 Um, you've never been to a meeting? 526 00:25:18,778 --> 00:25:20,170 No. 527 00:25:20,195 --> 00:25:21,849 Do you think I should have? 528 00:25:21,874 --> 00:25:24,224 No. No, please. That's not what I meant. 529 00:25:24,249 --> 00:25:25,903 Um, you're the most self-controlled person 530 00:25:25,928 --> 00:25:27,059 I ever met. 531 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,590 Well, it's been a while. 532 00:25:29,615 --> 00:25:31,278 Maybe I've changed. 533 00:25:31,303 --> 00:25:33,393 Totally lost it. 534 00:25:34,688 --> 00:25:38,126 Eh, I'm not buying it. 535 00:25:39,844 --> 00:25:41,830 Okay. 536 00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,469 Bon app�tit. 537 00:25:58,814 --> 00:26:00,604 Hey, you need the Honda this week? 538 00:26:01,808 --> 00:26:03,114 Maybe. 539 00:26:04,132 --> 00:26:05,940 I'll let you know. 540 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,276 Oh. 541 00:26:09,724 --> 00:26:12,553 "Bon app�tit" means you can start eating. 542 00:26:14,396 --> 00:26:16,323 Uh... 543 00:26:17,677 --> 00:26:20,466 Can we please just have some real food? 544 00:26:20,491 --> 00:26:23,331 W-Wha... Thi... But this is. 545 00:26:23,356 --> 00:26:25,097 This... This is... This is protein and vegetables. 546 00:26:25,121 --> 00:26:26,301 No, Kurt. 547 00:26:26,326 --> 00:26:30,476 I would like some real-ass food, you know? 548 00:26:30,501 --> 00:26:32,145 With carbs and animal fat 549 00:26:32,170 --> 00:26:33,583 so I don't have to keep speed-eating 550 00:26:33,607 --> 00:26:35,827 alone in my car on the way over here. 551 00:26:35,852 --> 00:26:38,551 It's lonely and I'm getting heartburn. 552 00:26:39,746 --> 00:26:41,628 Yeah, o-okay. 553 00:26:41,653 --> 00:26:42,856 I'll order something. 554 00:26:42,881 --> 00:26:44,543 Thank you! 555 00:26:44,568 --> 00:26:46,971 Yes, God! Thank you! 556 00:26:46,996 --> 00:26:49,477 Ugh. 557 00:26:51,256 --> 00:26:54,303 Ooh, maybe chimichangas! 558 00:26:56,328 --> 00:26:58,722 Once again, welcome to the Sunday Trinity 559 00:26:58,747 --> 00:27:03,129 Big Book Discussion Meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. 560 00:27:03,446 --> 00:27:05,536 I've stated that I'm an alcoholic. 561 00:27:06,799 --> 00:27:09,504 Are there any other alcoholics present tonight? 562 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:13,646 We also celebrate the anniversaries at this meeting. 563 00:27:14,328 --> 00:27:18,568 An anniversary is defined as 365 days free of alcohol 564 00:27:18,593 --> 00:27:21,770 or anything else that affects you from the neck up. 565 00:27:21,795 --> 00:27:23,599 We have one anniversary tonight, 566 00:27:23,624 --> 00:27:26,366 and that is Sam, celebrating eight years. 567 00:27:26,497 --> 00:27:28,012 Get up here, Sam. 568 00:27:39,795 --> 00:27:40,970 Hey, I'm Sam. 569 00:27:40,995 --> 00:27:42,200 Alcoholic. 570 00:27:42,225 --> 00:27:44,029 - Hi, Sam. Hi, Sam. Hi, Sam. - Hi, Sam. 571 00:27:44,054 --> 00:27:46,685 Uh, I dragged myself into the Program 572 00:27:46,710 --> 00:27:49,104 when I finally hit rock bottom. 573 00:27:49,650 --> 00:27:51,373 One night, I got so loaded 574 00:27:51,398 --> 00:27:55,435 that I stole a bundle of heroin from some guy I met at a bar... 575 00:27:55,581 --> 00:27:57,931 Too drunk to even remember his name. 576 00:27:57,956 --> 00:27:59,870 Jason, maybe? 577 00:28:00,146 --> 00:28:03,256 If he'd caught me, I bet he would've killed me. 578 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:07,435 I can still feel that fear and that shame, and that's good. 579 00:28:07,460 --> 00:28:09,636 It keeps the cycle from starting again. 580 00:28:10,328 --> 00:28:13,435 I've been done with destructive patterns for eight years. 581 00:28:14,605 --> 00:28:16,662 I'm not going back. 582 00:28:28,803 --> 00:28:30,814 Oh. 583 00:28:30,839 --> 00:28:33,223 Um, thank you so much for having me. 584 00:28:33,248 --> 00:28:34,451 - Really? - This... Yeah. 585 00:28:34,484 --> 00:28:37,482 Uh, I know these things can be painful. 586 00:28:37,507 --> 00:28:40,512 Oddly, I'm, uh... I'm proud. 587 00:28:40,537 --> 00:28:41,903 - I... - Sam. 588 00:28:41,928 --> 00:28:42,928 - Oh, hey! - Hey. 589 00:28:42,953 --> 00:28:45,082 - What are you doing here? - Oh, I wanted to surprise you. 590 00:28:45,106 --> 00:28:46,106 Did I miss it? 591 00:28:46,131 --> 00:28:48,238 Yeah, but that's okay. There's plenty more. 592 00:28:48,263 --> 00:28:50,772 My dad was at the house looking at tile samples, 593 00:28:50,797 --> 00:28:52,334 and I lost track of time. 594 00:28:52,359 --> 00:28:53,967 - Sorry. - Eh, that's okay. 595 00:28:53,992 --> 00:28:55,428 House looks great though. 596 00:28:55,453 --> 00:28:58,282 Good. Uh, Jenn, this is Allison. 597 00:28:58,307 --> 00:28:59,570 Allison, my wife, Jenn. 598 00:28:59,595 --> 00:29:01,758 - Hi. - Hi. Oh. Hi. 599 00:29:01,783 --> 00:29:03,498 Uh, we've actually met before. 600 00:29:03,523 --> 00:29:05,865 I, uh, worked with Sam in high school. 601 00:29:06,037 --> 00:29:07,707 Oh, how sweet of you to come. 602 00:29:07,732 --> 00:29:08,920 Of course. 603 00:29:08,973 --> 00:29:11,105 It's a big deal. 604 00:29:12,538 --> 00:29:14,849 Sorry, you got, um... You have something. 605 00:29:16,303 --> 00:29:17,371 Oh. 606 00:29:20,424 --> 00:29:22,034 Is that a bean? 607 00:29:22,059 --> 00:29:23,496 A pinto bean. 608 00:29:23,521 --> 00:29:25,300 It's, uh... It's from a chili. 609 00:29:25,746 --> 00:29:27,052 Oh. 610 00:29:32,702 --> 00:29:35,512 Um, anyway... 611 00:30:09,989 --> 00:30:11,468 Hello. 612 00:30:20,247 --> 00:30:22,544 - I can't do it! - What? 613 00:30:22,926 --> 00:30:24,560 I can't hurt him! 614 00:30:24,953 --> 00:30:28,087 You cooked him over a fire all night long. 615 00:30:28,112 --> 00:30:30,281 That was different. This is murder! 616 00:30:32,210 --> 00:30:35,029 We had a totally life-changing night together. 617 00:30:35,573 --> 00:30:38,159 You and the already-dead pig? 618 00:30:38,184 --> 00:30:39,544 Don't say it like that. 619 00:30:39,569 --> 00:30:41,677 You don't know. You weren't here. 620 00:30:42,536 --> 00:30:44,029 I slept here. 621 00:30:44,824 --> 00:30:46,148 But you were late. 622 00:30:46,173 --> 00:30:47,914 You totally missed the connection I had 623 00:30:47,939 --> 00:30:49,708 with this beautiful creature. 624 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:53,280 We talked about real big-picture stuff, you know? 625 00:30:53,305 --> 00:30:55,872 Life. Love. 626 00:30:55,912 --> 00:30:57,625 How dudes who say they don't pee in the shower 627 00:30:57,649 --> 00:30:59,194 are definitely lying. 628 00:31:00,758 --> 00:31:02,705 Do you pee in the shower? 629 00:31:03,726 --> 00:31:04,818 No. 630 00:31:05,932 --> 00:31:07,015 Look, the point is, 631 00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:09,210 there's no way that I can cut up my best friend! 632 00:31:09,235 --> 00:31:12,779 Okay... Do you think that this might possibly be about Neil? 633 00:31:12,804 --> 00:31:14,179 Of course not. 634 00:31:14,204 --> 00:31:18,107 This is about my new friend, Piggy Stardust. 635 00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:22,733 And worse... about how, now I'm completely screwed 636 00:31:22,758 --> 00:31:24,522 because I got no meat for the chili! 637 00:31:24,547 --> 00:31:26,733 Just give them vegetarian chili. 638 00:31:26,758 --> 00:31:30,327 Vegetarian chili is worse than no chili at all. 639 00:31:30,352 --> 00:31:32,256 Nobody wants salad soup! 640 00:31:32,632 --> 00:31:34,015 Well, then, you'll just be 641 00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,043 the laughing stock of the whole neighborhood. 642 00:31:36,986 --> 00:31:38,492 You're right. 643 00:31:38,953 --> 00:31:41,135 I won't be able to leave the house. 644 00:31:41,382 --> 00:31:42,413 That's it. 645 00:31:42,438 --> 00:31:44,030 I'm gonna become a Kermit. 646 00:31:44,937 --> 00:31:45,937 A "Kermit"? 647 00:31:45,962 --> 00:31:49,186 Yeah... someone who's alone and inside all the time. 648 00:31:49,211 --> 00:31:51,580 Like Kermit always hiding from Miss Piggy. 649 00:31:52,892 --> 00:31:55,343 This is when you feel humiliation? 650 00:31:55,368 --> 00:31:57,675 You definitely pee in our shower. 651 00:31:57,838 --> 00:32:00,061 I'm never leaving this house again, 652 00:32:00,086 --> 00:32:04,335 and you're gonna be here right by my side the whole time. 653 00:32:04,438 --> 00:32:06,290 In it till we kick it, baby! 654 00:32:06,819 --> 00:32:07,904 Lucky you. 655 00:32:07,929 --> 00:32:09,593 So lucky. 656 00:32:10,125 --> 00:32:12,523 Alright, I'm gonna go upstairs 657 00:32:12,548 --> 00:32:15,246 and stew this out over a bath. 658 00:32:18,538 --> 00:32:19,931 You're gonna have to come up in 45 659 00:32:19,956 --> 00:32:22,219 - with a beer and a sandwich. - Oh... 660 00:32:22,659 --> 00:32:24,439 Not that I need anyone! 661 00:32:41,755 --> 00:32:44,435 It's a dangerous thing, falsely accusing someone... 662 00:32:44,460 --> 00:32:46,312 Especially a guy high up in the community. 663 00:32:46,337 --> 00:32:48,035 Good job, family. 664 00:32:48,757 --> 00:32:51,814 Might as well accuse Father O'Donnell of peddling pills. 665 00:32:51,839 --> 00:32:54,812 So, please, keep in mind, if you're full of crap, 666 00:32:54,837 --> 00:32:57,187 no one would think twice about sending you to Walpole. 667 00:32:57,212 --> 00:32:59,692 And I'll tell my friends over there that you touch little kids. 668 00:33:02,415 --> 00:33:04,914 I swear on my mother's life, 669 00:33:04,939 --> 00:33:07,222 this is the guy you're looking for, okay? 670 00:33:07,247 --> 00:33:09,777 Who am I? I'm nobody. Whoever ratted me out, like... 671 00:33:09,802 --> 00:33:11,902 Listen, pal, the amount of stuff you got caught with, 672 00:33:11,927 --> 00:33:13,536 that's an intent to distribute. 673 00:33:13,561 --> 00:33:15,128 Forget intent to distribute. 674 00:33:15,153 --> 00:33:17,199 It's like Black Friday in there. 675 00:33:17,473 --> 00:33:20,161 Yeah, we'll see. 676 00:33:27,997 --> 00:33:30,163 If you have any questions, give me a call. 677 00:33:31,968 --> 00:33:33,794 Hey, buddy. 678 00:33:35,053 --> 00:33:36,069 How can I help you? 679 00:33:36,094 --> 00:33:38,780 Uh, it's Monday. 680 00:33:39,265 --> 00:33:40,818 I'm here for the generics. 681 00:33:40,843 --> 00:33:42,672 You're not supposed to call. 682 00:33:42,843 --> 00:33:44,674 I know. I know, I'm sorry. 683 00:33:44,699 --> 00:33:46,929 It was a huge mistake. It won't happen again. 684 00:33:50,991 --> 00:33:52,552 Terrance. 685 00:33:53,178 --> 00:33:54,379 Please. 686 00:33:57,992 --> 00:33:59,490 Thank you, Terrance. 687 00:33:59,515 --> 00:34:01,366 I love you, Terrance. 688 00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:09,022 - Oh. Hey. - Hey. 689 00:34:09,187 --> 00:34:11,091 Back for more Lipitor, huh? 690 00:34:12,137 --> 00:34:15,021 Maybe it's all those, uh, carbs and animal fat. 691 00:34:18,333 --> 00:34:19,691 Listen, last night, 692 00:34:19,716 --> 00:34:21,654 I think I just got confused, right? 693 00:34:21,679 --> 00:34:24,740 - Because we had... - Worcester PD! 694 00:34:25,419 --> 00:34:27,630 Everybody stay where you are. 695 00:34:28,214 --> 00:34:30,005 Sir, put your hands behind your back. 696 00:34:30,030 --> 00:34:31,597 Don't move. 697 00:34:31,826 --> 00:34:33,437 You're under arrest. 698 00:34:33,755 --> 00:34:35,474 You have the right to remain silent. 699 00:34:35,499 --> 00:34:37,232 Anything you say can and will be used... 700 00:34:43,037 --> 00:34:45,431 Well, they say witnesses can't leave 701 00:34:45,456 --> 00:34:47,896 for another 45, at least, so... 702 00:34:48,192 --> 00:34:50,296 Great. 703 00:34:51,090 --> 00:34:52,568 Oh, here. 704 00:34:52,593 --> 00:34:54,255 I'm not cold. 705 00:34:55,369 --> 00:34:56,892 Okay. 706 00:35:02,069 --> 00:35:04,095 That was insane. 707 00:35:04,928 --> 00:35:07,148 It was terrifying. 708 00:35:08,704 --> 00:35:10,485 Yeah. 709 00:35:10,517 --> 00:35:13,868 It reminded me of this one 4th of July when I was a kid. 710 00:35:14,304 --> 00:35:15,798 I couldn't have been more than 3, 711 00:35:15,823 --> 00:35:19,610 and my parents took me into town to see the fireworks. 712 00:35:20,087 --> 00:35:22,660 Dad put me up on his shoulders. 713 00:35:22,685 --> 00:35:24,252 They started up... 714 00:35:24,315 --> 00:35:26,970 These huge explosions right above us. 715 00:35:27,476 --> 00:35:29,821 I remember thinking, like, 716 00:35:30,579 --> 00:35:32,524 "The world is on fire." 717 00:35:33,579 --> 00:35:36,065 Sound hit me in my chest. 718 00:35:36,279 --> 00:35:37,976 Smoke was in my eyes. 719 00:35:38,001 --> 00:35:40,390 Everybody just laughing and smiling. 720 00:35:40,415 --> 00:35:42,884 Like, they didn't understand. 721 00:35:46,079 --> 00:35:47,845 This was the end. 722 00:35:49,011 --> 00:35:50,949 Kurt, what the hell are you doing? 723 00:35:50,974 --> 00:35:53,345 Being that close to death 724 00:35:53,370 --> 00:35:55,378 makes you think... really... 725 00:35:55,829 --> 00:35:57,677 About what's important 726 00:35:58,149 --> 00:36:00,189 and what you can't live without. 727 00:36:00,541 --> 00:36:02,368 And, Patty... 728 00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:08,649 I can't live without you a-and your chimichangas. 729 00:36:19,196 --> 00:36:21,046 Okay, it's Monday. 730 00:36:21,071 --> 00:36:22,832 Time... 731 00:36:22,872 --> 00:36:25,831 Whoa. You okay? 732 00:36:26,005 --> 00:36:27,398 Rough morning. 733 00:36:27,442 --> 00:36:30,178 Ye... Well, I guess that, but, how? 734 00:36:30,203 --> 00:36:31,552 What happened? You okay? 735 00:36:32,643 --> 00:36:35,646 Okay, what's with all the questions all the time? 736 00:36:36,079 --> 00:36:39,017 I... W... I don't ask you stuff to piss you off. 737 00:36:39,042 --> 00:36:41,752 I just want to know the answers. 738 00:36:44,991 --> 00:36:46,297 Why? 739 00:36:47,256 --> 00:36:48,867 Because... 740 00:36:49,626 --> 00:36:52,663 uh, I thought I knew your whole thing. 741 00:36:53,353 --> 00:36:56,126 We practically spent the last 10 years in the same room, 742 00:36:56,151 --> 00:36:58,321 but no one knows that I'm buying drugs, 743 00:36:58,346 --> 00:36:59,869 and I'm guessing that no one knows 744 00:36:59,894 --> 00:37:02,070 that you're selling them. 745 00:37:02,321 --> 00:37:05,310 Unless Kurt's some kind of secret drug mule. 746 00:37:07,095 --> 00:37:08,592 No. 747 00:37:09,228 --> 00:37:11,524 He has no idea. 748 00:37:16,633 --> 00:37:18,837 If he did, 749 00:37:18,862 --> 00:37:25,259 he probably wouldn't have, like, proposed. 750 00:37:26,241 --> 00:37:27,872 Wha... Ser... 751 00:37:32,048 --> 00:37:33,525 Seriously? 752 00:37:34,844 --> 00:37:36,411 Yeah. 753 00:37:36,794 --> 00:37:38,361 Ooh. 754 00:37:38,393 --> 00:37:41,704 Um, what does the ring look like? 755 00:37:41,729 --> 00:37:43,165 There was no ring. 756 00:37:43,190 --> 00:37:45,757 It was in the parking lot of the pharmacy. 757 00:37:45,782 --> 00:37:47,631 That... 758 00:37:47,656 --> 00:37:48,962 Hmm. 759 00:37:48,987 --> 00:37:50,685 Yeah, m-minutes after we were caught 760 00:37:50,710 --> 00:37:52,118 in the middle of a drug raid. 761 00:37:53,228 --> 00:37:54,794 At the pharmacy? 762 00:37:55,350 --> 00:37:56,702 Was that your... 763 00:37:56,727 --> 00:37:59,993 Yep, my friend was hauled off in a pair of handcuffs 764 00:38:00,018 --> 00:38:02,712 and my stash is in an evidence bag somewhere. 765 00:38:03,411 --> 00:38:06,384 And that's when Kurt decided to propose. 766 00:38:07,981 --> 00:38:11,415 Okay, uh, so, does that mean that y-you're... 767 00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:14,179 I'm out. Dry. No pills. 768 00:38:14,204 --> 00:38:16,579 - Nothing. - God damn it. 769 00:38:17,352 --> 00:38:19,085 Well, hey, it's not my fault. 770 00:38:19,807 --> 00:38:21,779 Blame the corner-kid-asshole at the auto body 771 00:38:21,804 --> 00:38:25,545 who got arrested and gave up the area's only supplier. 772 00:38:27,341 --> 00:38:28,846 Maybe this is good. 773 00:38:29,078 --> 00:38:30,873 This whole s... Like, selling this shit... 774 00:38:30,898 --> 00:38:32,232 It's too much trouble. 775 00:38:32,257 --> 00:38:34,904 - Bu... No. - I was close to going off the rails. 776 00:38:35,275 --> 00:38:37,053 My hair's startin' to break from the stress. 777 00:38:37,078 --> 00:38:39,256 We can't give up on this. Okay? 778 00:38:39,837 --> 00:38:42,318 I-I can't deal with going home right now, 779 00:38:42,350 --> 00:38:46,603 so, um, why don't we grab a bite and... 780 00:38:46,628 --> 00:38:50,066 Real food... And just talk about it? 781 00:38:52,015 --> 00:38:53,973 I have to get home to Neil. 782 00:38:54,006 --> 00:38:55,428 When he deep-fried the turkey, 783 00:38:55,453 --> 00:38:58,369 it exploded and burnt up his arms. 784 00:38:58,568 --> 00:39:00,425 This goddamn chili. 785 00:39:00,450 --> 00:39:02,539 He didn't even make the chili. 786 00:39:02,564 --> 00:39:04,392 Just a pile of deep-fried turkey 787 00:39:04,417 --> 00:39:05,857 sittin' on the kitchen counter. 788 00:39:06,341 --> 00:39:08,951 I can smell it from downstairs. 789 00:39:12,951 --> 00:39:15,584 I think I know how to make both our lives easier. 790 00:39:18,214 --> 00:39:21,060 We just have to make them think that it's their... 791 00:39:21,085 --> 00:39:23,324 ... brilliant idea to merge ingredients. 792 00:39:24,382 --> 00:39:26,662 My lame-ass batch of vegetarian stew... 793 00:39:26,687 --> 00:39:29,037 And my gorgeous pile of manly meat. 794 00:39:29,062 --> 00:39:31,256 Into the greatest friendship chili 795 00:39:31,281 --> 00:39:32,718 this world has ever tasted. 796 00:39:32,743 --> 00:39:34,354 Well, I gotta give this a little test. 797 00:39:34,379 --> 00:39:35,705 W... No, no, no, no. Pete, I love you, 798 00:39:35,729 --> 00:39:37,233 but you smell like the pellets at a petting zoo, 799 00:39:37,257 --> 00:39:39,564 and I need you to stay five feet away from the chili. 800 00:39:40,882 --> 00:39:42,256 Well, how is that okay? 801 00:39:42,281 --> 00:39:44,139 Because it's my chili. 802 00:39:44,771 --> 00:39:46,471 I'm sorry. 803 00:39:46,514 --> 00:39:48,037 Our chili. 804 00:39:48,062 --> 00:39:49,654 I'm so glad we were both man enough to admit 805 00:39:49,678 --> 00:39:50,972 we need each other. 806 00:39:50,997 --> 00:39:53,217 - In a totally normal way. - In a totally normal way. 807 00:39:53,867 --> 00:39:56,065 You ask me, you could both do with some more time apart. 808 00:39:56,089 --> 00:39:57,193 - No. - No, no, no. 809 00:39:57,218 --> 00:39:59,998 No, he... Kevin needs a Neil. 810 00:40:00,023 --> 00:40:01,131 We've already begun planning 811 00:40:01,155 --> 00:40:02,809 to make up for the lost goofin' time. 812 00:40:02,842 --> 00:40:05,201 Yeah, water balloon fight. Then, "Ace Ventura" marathon 813 00:40:05,233 --> 00:40:07,638 followed by one of our epic games of hide and seek. 814 00:40:07,663 --> 00:40:10,350 Allison, you might not see me for the next 24 hours. 815 00:40:10,375 --> 00:40:12,333 Oh, no! 816 00:40:12,358 --> 00:40:15,146 But first, let's get this chili to the Renzulli Brothers. 817 00:40:15,171 --> 00:40:16,693 To the Kev-mobile! 818 00:40:17,170 --> 00:40:18,342 Let's go. 819 00:40:18,564 --> 00:40:21,004 - Come on. Left. - Ow. Ow. 820 00:40:21,029 --> 00:40:23,308 - Left. Keep going. - Ow! 821 00:40:27,130 --> 00:40:28,890 It's looking at me. 822 00:40:28,915 --> 00:40:30,508 Yeah, it does that. 823 00:40:32,025 --> 00:40:34,636 So, I guess they just assume you'll clean it up. 824 00:40:35,157 --> 00:40:37,289 Okay, what are we gonna do about this? 825 00:40:38,345 --> 00:40:41,295 - Chainsaw? - N... I mean the pills. 826 00:40:41,666 --> 00:40:43,929 Listen, Allison, I already told you at the salon. 827 00:40:43,954 --> 00:40:46,506 - I'm out, okay? - Patty, you don't understand. 828 00:40:46,976 --> 00:40:48,661 I need this, and you're m... 829 00:40:48,686 --> 00:40:50,937 - The only one that can help. - Okay, you know what? 830 00:40:50,962 --> 00:40:53,426 We're sharing so much now? You like answers? 831 00:40:53,451 --> 00:40:55,104 So do I. 832 00:40:55,601 --> 00:40:57,148 Why do you actually need these? 833 00:40:57,173 --> 00:40:58,783 What the hell's been going on with you? 834 00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:01,320 I just... 835 00:41:03,164 --> 00:41:05,406 I'm in a really bad place. 836 00:41:06,174 --> 00:41:08,539 The night that you told me that Kevin drained the account, 837 00:41:08,564 --> 00:41:10,164 I lost it. 838 00:41:10,984 --> 00:41:12,914 I went on a bender. 839 00:41:13,862 --> 00:41:15,961 That powder that you wiped off my face, 840 00:41:15,986 --> 00:41:19,273 that was coke... "cain". 841 00:41:19,298 --> 00:41:21,648 Ye... I know what you meant. 842 00:41:21,673 --> 00:41:23,893 Somethin' in me just snapped, 843 00:41:23,918 --> 00:41:26,906 and I made this decision. 844 00:41:28,132 --> 00:41:30,233 I don't know if I should tell you. 845 00:41:35,468 --> 00:41:41,047 Um, I got blackout drunk, and apparently, 846 00:41:41,072 --> 00:41:44,242 I stole a bunch of oxys from this guy at a bar. 847 00:41:44,267 --> 00:41:46,609 I was so drunk, I don't even remember his name. 848 00:41:46,634 --> 00:41:49,419 It was, um, Jason, maybe. 849 00:41:49,444 --> 00:41:51,476 And they must be hard to get, 850 00:41:51,501 --> 00:41:53,287 because he won't take money for them, 851 00:41:53,312 --> 00:41:56,726 and he said that I g... I'd better get more. 852 00:41:57,528 --> 00:42:00,484 Patty, I screwed up, and I'm scared. 853 00:42:01,243 --> 00:42:02,844 Please. 854 00:42:06,436 --> 00:42:09,178 Okay. I... 855 00:42:09,539 --> 00:42:11,441 I got no guarantee. 856 00:42:12,265 --> 00:42:15,278 But I may have a connection in Vermont. 857 00:42:15,609 --> 00:42:17,291 - I'll make a few phone calls. - Oh, thank you. 858 00:42:17,315 --> 00:42:18,318 Well, don't thank me yet. 859 00:42:18,343 --> 00:42:20,338 I mean, if this works, I'll go up there soon. 860 00:42:20,947 --> 00:42:22,645 But even if I get anything, 861 00:42:22,670 --> 00:42:24,829 I'm using this pipeline once, okay? 862 00:42:24,854 --> 00:42:26,188 Of course, of course. 863 00:42:26,213 --> 00:42:28,549 I'll get your stuff and enough to wean my clients off, 864 00:42:28,574 --> 00:42:30,097 and then, I'm done. 865 00:42:30,122 --> 00:42:31,602 Yes, sure. 866 00:42:32,526 --> 00:42:34,290 And I think you should come with me. 867 00:42:37,195 --> 00:42:38,761 Really? 868 00:42:40,055 --> 00:42:42,573 I need a car. You can borrow Kevin's. 869 00:42:44,101 --> 00:42:46,073 Oh. Okay. 870 00:42:46,362 --> 00:42:47,892 Yeah, okay. 871 00:42:47,917 --> 00:42:50,045 We'll... We'll go together. 872 00:42:55,150 --> 00:42:56,757 God, it smells like death out here. 873 00:42:56,790 --> 00:43:00,673 ? You always hurt ? 874 00:43:00,698 --> 00:43:04,486 ? The one you love ? 875 00:43:04,511 --> 00:43:07,511 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 60539

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.