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1
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,832
- Morning, Mr Skinner.
- Mr Parkin.
2
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,156
Garden's looking lovely.
Dwarf marigolds are splendid.
3
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,192
They're not dwarf marigolds.
They're ordinary marigolds.
4
00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,198
- Flamin' caterpillars have been at 'em.
- I see.
5
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,832
Well, they're still splendid.
6
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:53,111
Perhaps we could try something
a little more ambitious one year.
7
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:55,674
A coat of arms, perhaps.
Something like that.
8
00:00:55,720 --> 00:01:00,919
They tried that during the War. They planted the
name Hatley, with salvias, pansies and lobelias.
9
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,270
Half of them died, and within a week
they had a station called Hitler.
10
00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,670
- That did not go down too well.
- No.
11
00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,188
I see.
12
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:15,711
Before I forget, the fire buckets
are full of cigarette ends again.
13
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,479
- Change the water in them, would you?
- What for?
14
00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,956
A few soggy fag ends isn't going to make
any difference if there's a fire.
15
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,230
You're missing the point, Mr Skinner.
16
00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:26,714
A smart station is an efficient station.
17
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:29,957
And a smart fire bucket
is a more efficient fire bucket?
18
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:32,592
Just see to it, will you?
19
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:37,035
Would you like me to change the sand
in the egg timer while I'm at it?
20
00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:41,392
- What did Mr Parkin want?
- Apparently, the fire buckets are full of fag ends.
21
00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:45,479
- He wants you to empty 'em out.
- So he can smoke 'em?
22
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:49,991
- Don't talk daft, Wilfred. Just get rid of them.
- It's my day off.
23
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,031
All right, all right.
24
00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:58,790
So, if you get the 11:38 from here
and change at Wenstead onto the 12:07,
25
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:00,751
that'll get you to Whitchurch,
26
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:05,590
where you can pick up the 1:42
Chesterfield to Worksop via Staveley.
27
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,791
At Worksop...
28
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:14,991
...you can get on the
3:09 Bawtry to Doncaster.
29
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:19,830
And from there, you can catch
the 4:21 Doncaster to Barnsley,
30
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,871
which gets you into Hickleton...
31
00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:27,715
...at 4:47.
32
00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:29,751
Of course, if you miss the 3:09...
33
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:38,040
...oh, erm... you'll have to wait for
the 5:27, which is an all-stopping train,
34
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:41,117
and you won't get to Hickleton...
35
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:44,550
Hickleton... Hickleton...
36
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,591
...thank you, madam...
37
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:50,197
You won't get to
Hickleton till half past eight.
38
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,031
If I were you, I'd get the bus.
39
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,271
- Mrs Schumann!
- Heck!
40
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:59,915
I do beg your pardon, madam.
If you'll just excuse me a moment.
41
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,430
Mrs Schumann, I'm surprised at you.
42
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,711
- I'm sorry, Mr Parkin.
- For a moment there, I was most impressed.
43
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,751
To be honest with you, so was I.
44
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:17,117
What chance do we have of withstanding Dr
Beeching's axe if you tell people to get the bus?
45
00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,754
Well, it was just getting so complicated.
46
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,677
That is not the issue, Mrs Schumann.
47
00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,837
You are an employee of British Railways,
a public servant.
48
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,916
A public servant's job is...?
49
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,996
To serve the public.
50
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:32,669
Exactly. It's not the first time you've
encouraged customers to go elsewhere.
51
00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:35,109
You remember.
52
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,355
Difficult to forget, Mrs Schumann.
53
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:40,995
A family of six wanted to get to
Scarborough, and what did you tell them?
54
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:45,070
I said, "If I were you, I
wouldn't start from here."
55
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,990
- Quite. Well, don't let it happen again.
- No, Mr Parkin.
56
00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,117
And how is the most wonderful mother
in the whole wide world?
57
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,594
Never mind the flannel. What do you want?
58
00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,835
- Have you got thirty-two and six?
- Yes, thank you.
59
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:05,908
- Can you lend it to me?
- Lend as in "You'll never see this again"?
60
00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,916
- Probably.
- What's it for?
61
00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:11,316
- I want to get the new Beatles LP.
- It's called With The Beatles.
62
00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:15,433
- That's imaginative.
- Mum, please!
63
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,552
After all, you are the
kindest, sweetest, most...
64
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:22,275
All right, all right, I'm the one
doing the buttering up, not you.
65
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,275
Now, where's my purse?
66
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,311
Whooo!
67
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:32,473
May, give us a cup of tea.
Parkin's just give us a right telling off.
68
00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:35,080
- Why?
- I don't know. He's in a funny mood.
69
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,317
Just because I told someone
to get the bus instead of the train.
70
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,991
Some people can be so unreasonable.
71
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:46,318
- Do you like the Beatles, Mrs Schumann?
- Yes, I listen to them all the time.
72
00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:51,798
Well, I've got no choice.
Wilfred plays them on his Dansette nonstop.
73
00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:53,910
Have you got a favourite? I like John best.
74
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,997
No, Paul's better. I think he's dreamy.
75
00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,031
I like the one with the big hooter.
76
00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:02,275
Now, what's his name? Bingo!
77
00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:07,993
Frankly, I can't see the appeal.
I mean, they won't last.
78
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,918
Come back in a year,
nobody'll even remember 'em.
79
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,955
Not like Frank Ifield.
80
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,871
Now, he'll be around forever.
81
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:23,028
That's funny. I thought I had more money
in my purse than this.
82
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,591
Here we are, Harry.
83
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,712
I've brought you a nice bacon sandwich
for your lunch.
84
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,751
Ta.
85
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:37,636
I cut the crusts off of it for you.
86
00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:41,389
- You didn't have to do that.
- Yes, I did. They was mouldy.
87
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:46,471
The ruddy trains!
88
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:50,431
Would you like me to pull
your lever for you, Harry?
89
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:53,950
No, I wouldn't.
You keep your hands off my levers.
90
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,194
Why?
91
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,994
Why? Because it's a
highly skilled job, that's why.
92
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:03,511
There's years of training and experience goes
into pulling them levers. It's highly technical.
93
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,552
Well, my late husband was an engine driver,
you know,
94
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,717
and his trains were far
more technical than this.
95
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:12,672
Yeah, but he didn't let you
drive 'em though, did he?
96
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,553
I used to watch his manipulations.
97
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,034
I saw exactly what he did.
98
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,514
So what? I sit and watch
the telly of an evening.
99
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:24,553
It don't make me Cliff Michelmore, does it?
You keep your hands off.
100
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:26,272
Hello, Harry. Vera.
101
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,629
He won't let me handle his equipment.
102
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,916
Don't you think that's being a bit...
a bit pedantical?
103
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,200
Take no notice of that silly old biddy.
104
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:40,119
What are you doing up here, Jack? The
Clumberfield train is due in a couple of minutes.
105
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:43,038
I want to stick ten bob on a horse
that's running at Chepstow.
106
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:46,755
You'll be lucky, mate. You still
haven't paid me for your last bet yet.
107
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,109
Or the one before
that, come to think of it.
108
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:51,754
Your slate is looking decidedly iffy.
109
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,677
Come on, Harry. This one's a cert.
110
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,995
Yeah. A cert for the knacker's yard.
111
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,192
I've never known anyone
pick more losers than you, mate.
112
00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:04,391
Your jockeys,
they didn't ought to bother wearing silks.
113
00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,512
They come in so late,
they ought to be wearing pyjamas.
114
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:12,836
- Look, I've got the cash.
- Thanks. That'll do against what you owe me.
115
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,713
- Come on, Harry. Please.
- Sorry, mate.
116
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:19,275
All right, if you won't take my bet,
I'll go and see the bookie in town.
117
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,198
What, Ronnie Beckwith?
He won't give you a slate.
118
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:26,711
- We'll see.
- Well, good luck, mate. You've got no chance.
119
00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:33,271
A penny.
120
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,790
It's my lucky day.
121
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:40,355
See a penny, pick it up.
All the day, you'll get good luck.
122
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,719
- What are you dressed like that for?
- I told you it's my day off.
123
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,478
I'm going watching Hatley Town.
124
00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:01,433
It's the first round of the FA Cup today.
We're playing Swanscombe United.
125
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:05,951
- Did you clean the fire buckets out for his nibs?
- Yeah, they're all done.
126
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:09,595
Right. Before you go, do me a favour.
See the Clumberfield through for me.
127
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:13,235
- Where are you going?
- Not far. I'm going to visit a sick relative.
128
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:15,475
Ronnie Beckwith. I won't be long.
129
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,511
I'm only testing.
130
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,879
Now, I've told you before, Ralph,
131
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:27,514
a locomotive is just like a woman.
132
00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:32,793
It responds better to a gentle caress
than it does to a quick lunge.
133
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,035
I'm doing my best.
134
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:39,119
Well, don't look at me.
Concentrate on where you're going.
135
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,720
Where I'm going? Well, I'm on rails.
136
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,718
I ain't got a lot of choice
about where I'm going.
137
00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:48,070
I can hardly take a shortcut
cross-country, can I?
138
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,395
Don't be cheeky, Ralph.
139
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,715
Signal's against us.
140
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:58,198
All right, all right.
Now, just anticipate the change.
141
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,760
Approach it nice and steady.
142
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:07,750
And then, when it changes,
accelerate gently in to Hatley Station.
143
00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:10,996
That's right, Ralph. That's it.
144
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:14,794
Nice and easy, nice and easy.
145
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,869
It's not changing!
146
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:23,435
It's still up! Brake! Brake!
147
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,790
Why is the 1:38 not on the platform?
148
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,831
It's stopped at the signal.
149
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,189
Tell Mr Skinner
to ask Mr Lambert what's going on.
150
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:50,156
I can't. He's not here. He's gone visiting a
sick relative, Ronnie Beckwith. He won't be long.
151
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,350
Without permission? He can't do that.
152
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:56,313
I know. It's terrible, in't it? I'd sack
him if I were you and give me the job.
153
00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:00,952
Yes, well, I suppose Mr
Skinner has his reasons.
154
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:07,232
Wilfred, what's holding
the Clumberfield up?
155
00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:08,713
Signal's stuck.
156
00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:12,070
Mrs Schumann, would you phone Mr Lambert
and ask what's going on?
157
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:13,348
Shouldn't Jack do it?
158
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:18,155
Apparently, Mr Skinner has been called away
to visit a sick relative, a Ronnie Beckwith.
159
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:22,398
Ronnie Beckwith? I didn't know
Jack was related to the bookie.
160
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:25,398
A bookmaker. Thank you, Mrs Schumann.
161
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,595
Wilfred, why aren't you in uniform?
162
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:34,713
It's my day off, Mr Parkin. I'm going
watching Hatley Town in the FA Cup.
163
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,990
Really? Very nice.
164
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,951
Come on, Hatley!
165
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:43,118
Wilfred, stop that immediately! We can do
without that sort of football hooliganism.
166
00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:48,870
There's no reply from the signal box.
I'll nip down there.
167
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,592
Thank you, Mrs Schumann.
168
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,517
Cut along, Wilfred. I'll see the train in.
169
00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:01,830
Will you stop pulling on that whistle,
Ralph? I think they know we're here.
170
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:06,510
I can see everything up ahead. There's
nothing in the way. Can't we just go?
171
00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:09,950
You what?
Have you taken leave of your senses?
172
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,754
There are rules,
regulations. You can't just go!
173
00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:17,396
- What's happening?
- Not a lot.
174
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:22,434
- The signal's against us. I said we should go.
- Well, we can't just go.
175
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,471
I just told him that.
176
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:28,399
We have no idea what
unseen perils like ahead.
177
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,874
What unseen perils?
178
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,673
Well, other trains, for instance.
179
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,757
Other trains? This is
Hatley, not Kings Cross.
180
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:40,679
All right, suppose a cow
has wandered onto the line?
181
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:44,235
Put your foot down
and we'll all have steak for dinner, I say!
182
00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:53,792
- Will you stop playing with your whistle?
- Sorry.
183
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:57,310
Harry, what's going on?
There's a train been stuck outside...
184
00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,635
What's happened to you?
185
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:04,194
I bent down to pick up a penny
and my back went.
186
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,629
You poor thing.
187
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,912
Well, don't just stand there.
Do something, help me!
188
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,951
Just a minute.
189
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,394
There you are, then.
190
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:22,434
I don't want the penny. I want you
to help me into a chair. I'm in agony.
191
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,471
Right.
192
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:28,351
Aargh!
193
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,992
Is that better?
194
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:33,112
How can it be better? It's excruciating.
195
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:41,708
- What do we do about the train?
- You'll have to pull the lever for me.
196
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,751
It's the second one from the right.
197
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,759
- It won't budge.
- Grip the hand release at the same time.
198
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,950
Hand release. Right!
199
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,034
Right, Ralph. We're off.
200
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:04,075
No, stop!
201
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:06,719
Go.
202
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,233
Stop!
203
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,351
Go.
204
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,351
Stop!
205
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:18,391
Make your ruddy mind up.
206
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:23,357
This lever's got a mind of its own.
207
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:26,278
All the way. You've
got to pull it all the way.
208
00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:29,073
I'm trying to pull it all the way.
209
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,275
Right, Ralph. It's definitely go this time.
210
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:42,951
At last.
211
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:09,518
This is Hatley, Hatley, Hatley.
212
00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:12,393
Change here for Busten and Wenstead.
213
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,431
Ooh!
214
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,830
Right away!
215
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:43,718
- Back at last, Mr Skinner.
- Hello, Mr Parkin.
216
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,955
A word, if you please, in my office.
217
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,718
I'll be with you in a minute. I've...
218
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,557
- Now, Mr Skinner.
- I'll only be...
219
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:51,591
Now!
220
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,749
Where's Jack? We've got an emergency.
221
00:14:56,800 --> 00:15:00,076
What on earth's happened to you?
You look all hot and sweaty.
222
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:04,033
I've been up in the signal box,
pulling Harry's lever for him.
223
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:08,392
You shouldn't have done that.
He'll be ever so upset if he finds out.
224
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:13,355
- He asked me to.
- He did, did he?
225
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,435
I see.
226
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:21,309
Mr Skinner, I am trying to run
an efficient station here.
227
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:25,672
For some reason, you seem to think it perfectly
acceptable to swan off without permission.
228
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,757
- I wasn't gone long.
- That is not the point, Mr Skinner.
229
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,995
You cannot just desert your post like that.
230
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:34,555
Suppose I decided to walk out.
What do you think people would say?
231
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,636
Hooray?
232
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:38,238
Mr Skinner!
233
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:42,717
Mr Parkin, I know what you're saying but Wilfred
was covering for me and it was an emergency.
234
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:44,432
I had to see a sick relative.
235
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,914
I understand you went to see a bookmaker.
236
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,872
We can't choose our relatives, Mr Parkin.
237
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:54,277
Please spare me the colourful invention,
Mr Skinner. He was not a relative.
238
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:57,312
And sneaking off to see a bookmaker
is just not right.
239
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:58,588
You're right.
240
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:01,632
I don't think you appreciate
how serious this matter is.
241
00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:04,194
I should report your
actions to Mr Orkindale.
242
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:06,913
- So report me. See if I care.
- What?
243
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:10,589
Report me. I don't give a stuff.
I can't be doing with all this aggravation.
244
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,676
I don't believe what I'm hearing.
245
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:15,792
Are you prepared to jeopardise
your career over this?
246
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:18,070
Career? You call this a career?
247
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:21,396
Emptying fire buckets
and blowing a whistle at silly trains?
248
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,477
Silly... Silly trai...?
249
00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,238
You ought to give this some thought
before you say any more.
250
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:33,273
I have given it some thought, and as far as I'm
concerned you can stuff your rotten old job.
251
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:35,197
- What?
- Yes, we don't need it.
252
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:39,552
May and I can go and live somewhere else.
There are other towns besides Hatley.
253
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,271
May...
254
00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:50,960
So, you see, Vera, I had to pull his
lever for him. He could hardly move.
255
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,631
Dear.
256
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:58,116
And he can't get down the stairs.
He's going to have to sleep up there.
257
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,799
I thought he did that anyway.
258
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,512
No, I mean at night.
259
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:05,917
Jack, have you heard about Harry?
260
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,155
Who gives a stuff? May, a word.
261
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,835
That's charming, in't it?
262
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:15,350
- Where've you been?
- To the bookies in town.
263
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:18,312
That would explain
what's happened to my ten bob.
264
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:19,360
Ten bob?
265
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:23,109
Did you or did you not steal ten bob
from my purse?
266
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:26,277
No, May, I borrowed it.
I would've asked, but you weren't around.
267
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:30,836
I know. That's what makes it stealing
and not borrowing.
268
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:33,553
All right, I'll give it you back.
269
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,959
Here's a fiver. Keep the
change, I've got plenty.
270
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,991
Good God!
271
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,518
How much you got in here?
272
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,551
I'd say there's around twenty grand.
273
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:47,273
From a ten bob bet?
What sort of odds were they paying?
274
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,915
It's not from the horses, May.
It's from the embankment. I found it.
275
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:53,030
It was just lying at the side of the track.
276
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,753
- You're not going to keep it, surely?
- Why not?
277
00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:58,360
Because it must belong to somebody else.
278
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:03,155
Look, May, don't you see?
This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
279
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,350
The chance to get ahead for once.
280
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:08,710
This time, our toast
has landed jam-side up.
281
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:13,313
Jack, this is stealing.
282
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,957
Now, you may be many things,
but you're not a thief.
283
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,151
- A minute ago, you said I was.
- Ten bob from my purse is one thing.
284
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,033
But this is something quite different
and you know it.
285
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,676
Yeah, you're right, of course.
286
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,439
So, are you going to hand it in?
287
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,989
- I suppose so.
- Good. I'm proud of you.
288
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:40,351
But leave it a day or two?
289
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:44,352
- You never know, there might be a reward.
- Right!
290
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:50,473
By the way, have you seen Parkin?
He was looking for you earlier.
291
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:54,513
Parkin? Erm... yes.
It was nothing. Just the usual.
292
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,551
Good.
293
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,993
Heck, Jack, lad.
Now what are you going to do?
294
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,030
A final flutter, it's my only chance!
295
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:15,430
There. You're as snug
as a bug in a rug, Harry.
296
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:21,630
I hope nobody finds out about me
kipping up here. I could get shot for this.
297
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:26,231
Well, with you bent double
as you are, they'd probably miss.
298
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:32,190
Look at you. You look ever so cosified.
299
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:35,198
Would you like me
to read you a bedtime story?
300
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,231
No, I'd like you to go home.
301
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:40,636
I could always stay with you
and keep you company.
302
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,671
Haven't I suffered enough?
303
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,678
Argh! My back!
304
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:13,191
Hello, Harry. Any better?
305
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,231
- No.
- Never mind.
306
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:18,556
I've brought you a nice bowl of soup
for your lunch.
307
00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:21,749
- No!
308
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,268
That's the Swinthorpe train!
309
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:26,117
Quick, get Ethel right away!
310
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,151
Never mind Ethel.
311
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:37,717
Well, you don't hang around railwaymen
without picking up a thing or two.
312
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,869
Hatley Station, Station Master's Office.
313
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,711
Good morning, Mr Orkindale.
314
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,949
Really?
315
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,195
Well, no, I'd heard nothing about this.
316
00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:59,591
Good heavens!
317
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,631
Well, how dramatic.
318
00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:05,079
Yes, yes, of course I'll keep an eye out.
319
00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:07,634
Yes, I'll make sure all my staff know.
320
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:09,671
Thank you, thank you.
321
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:15,039
So, I don't suppose you lot would have heard
about all the excitement we had yesterday?
322
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,071
Yeah. We won, 3-1.
323
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,919
I'm not talking about
your football, Wilfred.
324
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,679
I'm talking about all the drama
when we got to Clumberfield.
325
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,995
Why? What happened?
326
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:29,715
All these police cars pulled up outside
the station and surrounded the train.
327
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:34,675
Hundreds of rozzers. And they got on the train
and led these two blokes away in handcuffs.
328
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,109
Had they been travelling without tickets?
329
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:42,158
No, my lovely. They'd been distributing
forged five pound notes.
330
00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:46,759
Sorry.
331
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:51,679
Apparently, they'd printed thousands.
But the police didn't find nothing on them.
332
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,871
- The villains slung the evidence off the train.
333
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:57,798
Ooh, I wouldn't mind
some of that! Would you?
334
00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:00,718
No, we could go to London
and the shopping in Carnaby Street.
335
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,955
- Then down the Kings Road.
- Fab!
336
00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,593
You wouldn't want any of this,
believe me, my lovelies.
337
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:09,791
If you were caught spending it,
they could do you as accomplices.
338
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:17,233
- Gloria, where's your father?
- He said something about going into town.
339
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:19,271
I'll be back in a minute.
340
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:25,393
If I could just have your attention for a
moment, I have a very important announcement.
341
00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:30,070
Is it about them two forgers who got taken
off the Clumberfield by the police yesterday?
342
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:32,236
I suppose you want us to keep our eyes open
343
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:36,273
for any suspicious characters
trying to pass forged five pound notes?
344
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,311
Well, is it?
345
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,911
Jack!
346
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,831
What have you done?
347
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,990
Mr Skinner, I've just had Mr Orkindale
on the telephone,
348
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,157
and you'll be pleased to hear
I didn't tell him about our discussion.
349
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,200
Aye?
350
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:12,153
Have you taken my advice and thought any
more about your somewhat rash decision?
351
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:17,479
I have, yes. Do you know, for a while, I thought
I might have to come begging for my job back.
352
00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:22,878
But thanks to Salad Days, Arctic Storm
and Svengali all romping home at Lingfield,
353
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:26,549
I am happy to report
that you can still stuff it!
354
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,033
All right?
355
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:37,271
Right, that's a hundred quid to go back in
the bag. And the rest, you're coming with me!
356
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,952
Heck!
357
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:46,831
May! May!
358
00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:50,032
- May!
- What's up, Jack?
359
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,071
- Have you seen May?
- No, why?
360
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:09,393
- May, what the hell's going on?
- It's a good fire, in't it?
361
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,876
- What are you playing at?
- I'm keeping you out of prison.
362
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:16,117
- What are you talking about?
- All that money in the bag's forged.
363
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,037
- Forged?
- It means it's not real.
364
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:19,274
I know what it means.
365
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:23,916
I'm just destroying the evidence
in case they name you as an accomplice.
366
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:29,840
Here, Parkin's on the warpath.
He wants to know why nobody's on duty.
367
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:34,030
- What's this all about?
- She's keeping my dad out of prison.
368
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:38,269
- This'll have to go, as well.
- May, no! I've just won that money. It's real.
369
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,392
- You what?
- Fire! Fire! Wilfred, get a fire bucket.
370
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:42,714
Fire! Fire!
371
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,355
Who shouted, "Fire"?
372
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,709
Look at that.
373
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,471
I can walk again.
374
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,751
It's a miracle!
375
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,991
Give me that.
376
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,598
- It's empty.
- I know. You told me to empty it.
377
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:22,309
- You should have filled it up again.
- You never told me. Shall I do it now?
378
00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:24,032
It's too flamin' late now.
379
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:27,914
Mrs Schumann! Mr Skinner!
Where is everybody?
380
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:29,598
Heck!
381
00:26:30,120 --> 00:26:32,509
Why is nobody doing their job?
382
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,835
Job? Heck, my job!
383
00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:43,750
Sorry about that, Mr Parkin.
I had one or two things to sort out.
384
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:47,110
I've been giving my position here at Hatley
some serious thought,
385
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:50,277
and you'll be delighted to know
I've decided to stay on.
386
00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:53,236
You told me I could stuff the job.
387
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:55,669
But that was in the Northern sense.
388
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,314
You know, "stuff" as
in "keep it open for me".
389
00:26:58,360 --> 00:27:01,079
- I'm not convinced.
- But what about May?
390
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,519
- May?
- Yes.
391
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:07,634
If we have to go, you'll never sink your teeth
into one of May's cherry Bakewells again.
392
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,399
Yes, I see what you mean.
393
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:13,512
Well, you know how I feel
about this station, Mr Parkin. I love it.
394
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:16,313
- Yes?
- All them fire buckets and trains and that.
395
00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:20,990
And I'm never as happy as when I'm humping
big, heavy parcels about and waving my flag.
396
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,508
That's not the impression
I get, Mr Skinner.
397
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:27,075
What do you say, then, Mr Parkin?
What do you say?
398
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,628
♪ Doctor Beeching, what have you done?
399
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:55,389
♪ There once were lots of trains to catch,
but soon there will be none
400
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:59,433
♪ I'll have to buy a bike,
cos I can't afford a car
401
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:03,234
♪ Doctor Beeching,
what a naughty man you are
402
00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:07,114
♪ Doctor Beeching, what have you done?
403
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:11,199
♪ There once were lots of trains to catch,
but soon there will be none
404
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:15,074
♪ I'll have to buy a bike,
cos I can't afford a car
405
00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:18,795
♪ Doctor Beeching,
what a naughty man you are
34052
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