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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:36,152 - Good morning, Amy. - Good morning, Vera. 2 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:40,557 I'm holystoning my front step. Because it's Monday. 3 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,830 That's as good a reason as any. 4 00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:52,277 - Morning, Mr Skinner. Is Gloria ready? - She's just coming. 5 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,880 - Gloria, Amy's here. - Goodbye, Mum. 6 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,794 - See you lunch time, Dad. - Take care, now. 7 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:01,877 Ooh, you're putting it on a bit, aren't you? 8 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,354 Don't be disrespectful to your father. 9 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:08,154 And it's not me. You've got a fat bicycle. 10 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,954 And you've no business riding to town in a short skirt like that. 11 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:16,073 Give over, Dad. It's not as short as Amy's. You don't say anything to her. 12 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:17,997 What Amy wears is none of my business. 13 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,349 I'm not her father. 14 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,470 You're not whose father? 15 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,795 I'm just telling Gloria I'm not Amy's father. 16 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:26,990 I should think not, indeed. 17 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,474 I wouldn't mind if you were my dad, Mr Skinner. 18 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,478 Mine wouldn't care if I rode to college with nothing on at all. 19 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,351 Amy, be off with you. 20 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:36,439 Bye. 21 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:40,675 Jack, you've no business encouraging her with talk like that. 22 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,472 I never said a word. 23 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,239 You must have, or she wouldn't have said what she did. 24 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,272 - Now, look! - Don't argue, Jack. It doesn't suit you. 25 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,356 It makes your face all ugly. 26 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:53,312 Look, May, I simply said I wasn't Amy's father, 27 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:56,557 so I wasn't going to say anything about a short skirt! 28 00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,996 Who's got a short skirt? 29 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:01,393 Amy! 30 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,431 I'll go and get my glasses. 31 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:08,036 I don't want to interrupt anyone's domestic striving, 32 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:12,312 but have you noticed that the milkman hasn't done his roundabouts? 33 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:17,638 Jack, don't stand there gossiping to Vera. The milkman's not been. 34 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,194 - There's nothing I can do about it. - Oh, yes, there is. 35 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,915 Ask Ethel if she can let me have a pint so I can open the buffet. And look sharp! 36 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,633 Mr Skinner! The milkman hasn't been. 37 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,875 I know. Get up to the station and open up. 38 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,275 Ethel. Ethel! 39 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,628 - Hello. - May says, have you got some milk? 40 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,591 Yes, thanks. 41 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:45,676 Where's the girl in the short skirt? 42 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:48,234 She's gone off on her bike. 43 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,033 Oh. Sorry I missed that. 44 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,308 You've got to be quick these days, ain't you? 45 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,237 - Good morning, May. - Ooh! Cecil! 46 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,510 What are you doing here at this time? 47 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,996 I thought if I got here early, we could spend a few moments alone together. 48 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,715 - Kiss me, May. - I don't think this is a very good idea, Cecil. 49 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:14,915 May, I haven't kissed you for 18 years. 50 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:19,112 Well, you'd better hang on a bit longer, cos Jack'II be coming through that door in a minute. 51 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,151 I don't care. 52 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,595 Cecil, he'd want to know what you were doing here early like this. 53 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,437 May, I haven't slept a wink. 54 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:29,994 I've thought about you constantly all night. 55 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:34,033 So, at five this morning, I thought I'd try a bit of do-it-yourself. 56 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,274 Well, it's better than nothing, I suppose. 57 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,799 May, this is all I've got. 58 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:44,196 Oh, good morning, Mr Parkin. You're early. 59 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:48,791 Mr Parkin has had trouble sleeping, so he thought he'd pop in for an early cup of tea. 60 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,153 Oh, I see. 61 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,714 But I've told him he's not getting any, 62 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:55,478 cos we're out of milk. 63 00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:59,638 I haven't been wasting my time. I've been indulging in a little do-it-yourself. 64 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,317 Oh, yes? 65 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,555 Come with me. I think you'll be pleased. 66 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,788 - Look. - That's been lying in a corner since Christmas. 67 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,956 They said they'd send a man to put it up. 68 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:18,232 It's no good waiting for British Railways workers in this day and age, Mrs Schumann. 69 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,794 "Do it today" is my motto. 70 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:26,039 Now, from time to time, I expect you have to erm... leave your post. 71 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:30,995 Well, I usually manage to keep it down to four times a day, Mr Parkin. 72 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,792 That's very good, Mrs Schumann. 73 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:35,718 Except in exceptional circumstances. 74 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:40,392 Yes. Well, on such occasions, to keep the passengers informed, 75 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,876 all you have to do is pull down this blind. 76 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:48,478 And then, upon your return, you simply raise the blind. 77 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:52,035 - And then, the next time you leave... - I lower the blind. 78 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,071 So, I just pull this string, do I? 79 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:56,759 That's correct, yes. This one to lower. 80 00:04:56,800 --> 00:05:00,429 - And this one to raise. - Oh. Can I have a go? 81 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,869 Right. So, I've come back, 82 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,798 and up goes... 83 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,990 - Hello. - Oh, Wilfred. 84 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:11,157 You frightened the life out of me. Go and clean your teeth. 85 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:12,838 Yes, Mum. 86 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,990 There's one further detail, Mrs Schumann. 87 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,555 Having raised the blind from the Position Closed position, 88 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:23,593 you then place this Position Open sign in position. 89 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,830 Oh, that's good, in't it? 90 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:29,472 Right. 91 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:31,750 Position... 92 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,671 - ..closed. - No sign. 93 00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,711 Oh, yes. 94 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,670 No sign. 95 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,712 Oh, and position... 96 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,671 - ..open. - Sign. 97 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,631 Yes. 98 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:51,831 May says your tea's ready. And your sign's upside down. 99 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:01,676 Oh, there you are, Jack. Now, sip it slowly, cos it's all you get. 100 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:05,599 That Parkin's so ignorant he doesn't realise what a fool he is. 101 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:08,313 Stop bellyaching about Parkin. It's too early. 102 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:12,756 Mr Parkin's taking a very important telephone call from District, 103 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:16,076 so he says, can you very kindly take his tea to him in his office? 104 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,351 No, she can't. I'm not having my wife waiting on him hand and foot. 105 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:24,793 Calm down, Jack. I'm not waiting on him and certainly not hand and foot. 106 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:27,354 Now, Vera, be a love, 107 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,392 and take this in to Mr Parkin in his office. 108 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,193 Of course. It'd be a pleasure. 109 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:37,438 I enjoy going into his office, specially when he's not there, 110 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,994 and I can ferret through his knick-knacks. 111 00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:46,118 May mollycoddles him. She never mollycoddles me. Why does she mollycoddle him? 112 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:47,752 He is the Station Master. 113 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,872 So what? I could have been the Station Master any time I'd wanted. 114 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:55,232 You should have applied for the job, like I told you, and then you'd have had power. 115 00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,032 Women like power in men. 116 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:58,877 Power is an aphrodizzy... 117 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,639 Aphrodizz... Something. 118 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:03,750 That's power over big corporations. 119 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:07,076 Power over you, me and Wilfred is an aphrodizzy-nothing. 120 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,471 Morning, Arnold. Morning, Ralph. 121 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,238 - Morning, May. - Morning. 122 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,317 Oh, there's been a to-do at Knossington Bassett. 123 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:20,717 Knossington Bassett? I thought Beeching had shut it. 124 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,320 No, not until September. 125 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:27,558 Last night there was a break-in. They got away with all the takings from the booking office. 126 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,438 - How much did they get? - Thirteen and fourpence. 127 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,348 And they set off all the fire extinguishers, 128 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,949 they took two bags of fertiliser and a crate of pigeons. 129 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,991 What is the world coming to? 130 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,111 What about that signalman, Henry? 131 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,593 No, they left him. 132 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,238 Didn't he spot 'em? 133 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,953 Well, he was having forty winks, you see. 134 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:56,313 And by the time he'd come to, they were making their getaway on the milkman's horse and cart. 135 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,397 Oh, so that's why we didn't get any milk this morning. 136 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:03,956 They won't have got far with the milkman's horse and cart. He stops at every house. 137 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,877 Now, pay attention, everybody. 138 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:12,311 I've just had a very important conversation with Mr Orkindale at District. 139 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:16,558 The Minister of Transport and several members of his department are in the area, 140 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:20,354 and will be passing through here around lunch time, possibly on the one seven. 141 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,356 Will they be stopping off, Mr Parkin? 142 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:26,188 Who knows? Maybe not, maybe they will. We must all be prepared. 143 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,800 Well, I can't be prepared. I've not got any milk. 144 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,879 Oh, dear. Well, I obviously cannot leave the station myself, 145 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:36,993 but I'm sure Mr Skinner will take care of that, won't you, Mr Skinner? 146 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,634 You'll make sure your wife gets her milk. 147 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:45,070 Oh. Yes, of course. 148 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:48,078 Make sure the brasses are sparkling and the station is spotless. 149 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,599 Yes, Mr Parkin. 150 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,200 They're not going to shut us down, are they? 151 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,912 I hope not, Mrs Schumann. 152 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,555 All we can do is to be as polite, efficient and alert as possible. 153 00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:02,116 The passengers will be arriving any minute, so we'd better stand by our posts. So go to it! 154 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,151 Right away, Mr Parkin. 155 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,231 Yes, Mr Parkin. 156 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:16,272 Hang on, Mr Montgomery, while I get the betting book. 157 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,391 Two... four... 158 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,955 I won't be long, Mr Montgomery. I'm just finding the right page. 159 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:29,639 Erm... Here it is. 160 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:35,269 So, that's five shillings each way, 161 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,311 Russian Prince, 162 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,636 four o'clock, Newmarket. Yes, I'll tell Harry. 163 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,631 I'll come and see to you in a minute. 164 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:49,750 Not you, Mr Montgomery. I've seen to you already. 165 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:56,278 Are you there, Mr Montgomery? I said, not you, I've seen to you already. 166 00:09:57,440 --> 00:09:59,749 I don't know what you mean, Mr Montgomery. 167 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,354 Is anybody going to sell me a ticket? 168 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,391 I'm coming as fast as I can. 169 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:11,033 Do you mind not doing that, madam? The blind's only just been installed. 170 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,034 Shop! 171 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,191 The flippin' thing's stuck. 172 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:21,509 Do you mind, madam? You are causing the mechanism to malfunction. 173 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,391 Well, are you open or not? 174 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,950 Where's she gone? 175 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,309 - Shop! - Oh, heck! 176 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:38,716 I'm sorry if I've inconvenienced you, madam. Can I be of assistance? 177 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:41,911 I want a day return to Clumberfield. 178 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,633 Day return to Clumberfield. That'll be three and eleven. 179 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,991 Day return to Clumberfield. 180 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,112 A day return to Clumberfield. That'll be three and eleven. 181 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,116 I know. 182 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,515 Four shillings. You need a penny change. 183 00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,151 Penny change... Penny change... 184 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:03,794 There you are, madam. There's your penny change. I hope you have a nice journey. 185 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:07,071 Well, thanks to you, it's been a very bad start. 186 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:10,078 The sooner Beeching shuts you down, the better. 187 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,236 There's no need to be like that, madam. 188 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,033 I'm sorry about the bother with the blind but it's new, 189 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:17,833 and we're having one or two teething problems. 190 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:20,110 Having teething problems, are you? 191 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:23,436 I'll show you the best way to deal with teething problems. 192 00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,918 Oh! You shouldn't have done that, madam. Mr Parkin has just put it up. 193 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,231 Good morning. 194 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:41,874 Mrs Schumann? 195 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:46,352 Mrs Schumann, what has happened to the Position Closed blind? 196 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,512 Mrs Schumann! You'll have to pay for that. 197 00:11:56,800 --> 00:12:00,873 - Hatley, Hatley, Hatley! - Thank you, Mr Skinner. I'll do this one. 198 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,995 You take care of your wife's requirements. 199 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,598 You what? 200 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,074 The milk, Mr Skinner, the milk! 201 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,993 This is Hatley. Hatley! Hatley! 202 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,838 Change here for Bustin and Wenstead. 203 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:20,519 You've got to admit, Mr Skinner, he's got a lovely posh voice. 204 00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:22,915 He gives the station a lot more class. 205 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,315 Go and clean the brass in the bog. 206 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,991 Come on, Ralph. Where are you? 207 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:36,871 Sorry, I forgot my pork sausages. May keeps them in the fridge for me. 208 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,116 Now, look. You are not... 209 00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,912 You are not cooking pork sausages on my train. 210 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:48,154 Not with the Minister of Transport in the area. 211 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,428 Why? Is he Jewish? 212 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,232 Check your gauges. 213 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,748 Stop worrying, Ethel. 214 00:12:55,800 --> 00:13:00,920 When Mr Parkin knows what happened, he won't expect you to pay for the wretched blind. 215 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:05,033 It was a daft idea, anyway. I just did what he said to be polite. 216 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:08,550 Just fancy! All these important people coming and I've not got any milk. 217 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,397 And what are we going to wear, Ethel? 218 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:14,479 My hair's a perfect sight. It's not had a wash and set in a fortnight. 219 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:18,069 Oh, stop fussing, May. They'll not bother to look at you. 220 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:24,434 Oh, thank you very much! I suppose you don't care if your wife looks like a scarecrow. 221 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,152 Go and see Harry. He's good with hair. 222 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,714 He is not touching my hair, Jack. 223 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:32,196 This particular scarecrow is looking for a bit of Vidal Sassoon, 224 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,231 not Harry's pudding basin. 225 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:38,272 That reminds me, I must get that pudding basin back. 226 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,349 He's had it for four years now. 227 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,029 Now, where am I going to get some milk for May? 228 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,913 Oh, troubles never come singly, do they? 229 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:50,554 Come in. 230 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,757 You can say that again. 231 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,236 Hey, they've probably got some milk in that little shop in Wenstead. 232 00:13:58,280 --> 00:13:59,554 That's four miles away. 233 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:03,115 Why don't you borrow Mr Parkin's bicycling thing? 234 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:07,950 Harry was mending the front wheel when he lost the ball bearings down a crack in the signal box. 235 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,797 He'll have some more on Wednesday. 236 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,831 Can't you say anything helpful? 237 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:15,111 I heard a lot of mooing this morning. 238 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:16,991 That'd be Farmer Jackson's cows. 239 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:20,237 They haven't been here very long. They're in his top field. 240 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:23,829 That's it, Jack. He might let you have a few pints. 241 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:25,950 He wouldn't give you the time of day. 242 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:29,595 All his milk gets sent off in a lorry. It goes off every morning. 243 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:32,518 I don't mean it goes sour. I mean it gets collected. 244 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,952 We know what you mean, you daft ha'p'orth! 245 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,875 He's only trying to help. 246 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,469 What I mean is, it'll have left at five o'clock this morning. 247 00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,432 The cows might have manufactured a bit more by now. 248 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:47,833 They might give us a few pints. 249 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:53,238 Wilfred, milk does not come from the cows prepacked in pint bottles. 250 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,829 You have to milk them. Do you know anything about milking cows? 251 00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,713 - No. - Neither do I, so shut up! 252 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,676 I know a little. 253 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:07,076 The milk is kept at the opposite end from the head. 254 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,433 And it's in a bulgy bit, 255 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:15,950 and the bulgy bit has four terminals. 256 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,675 Oh, yeah? Battery cows, are they? 257 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:24,108 I've seen pictures. The milk comes out when the milkmaid does this. 258 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:31,308 - It's a bit like bell ringing. - I am not ding-donging on any cow's terminals. 259 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:34,909 May's relying on you to get her some milk. You're not going to let her down. 260 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:39,238 I'm not letting her down. I'm just not milking any cows for her, that's all. 261 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:43,068 Parkin won't let you forget it, mark my words. He'll keep bringing it up. 262 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:46,476 I'll come with you. I'll wash out the fire bucket to put it in. 263 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:51,708 Go on, Jack. Have a go. At least you'll have tried. 264 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,791 Come on, Wilfred. 265 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,831 Once more into the breach. 266 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,519 I should try to steer clear of that part. 267 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,716 I think they're in that field behind that hedge. 268 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,590 Thank you, Sherlock Holmes! 269 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,791 Psst! 270 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:17,879 I've got to ring the bookmaker's. Where's Parkin? 271 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,912 He's in his house, washing all the smuts off his cheeks. 272 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:25,272 He can wash his face as much as he likes. He'll still have that miserable face. 273 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:30,272 I can't stand people with miserable faces. 274 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:37,392 - What are you doing? - I've just about mended Parkin's flippin' blind. 275 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,279 Well, come on, Harry. Give us a hand. 276 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,230 - Where's it go? - In the window. 277 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,271 - Oh. - Hey! 278 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:55,915 Harry! Would you mind what you're doing, please? 279 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:01,039 The things you see when you haven't got your gun! 280 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:06,028 Give it here. I'll let Wilfred help me. 281 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:11,552 Oh, Wilfred? 282 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:16,151 I've just seen him and Jack going across the field, carrying a fire bucket. 283 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,919 Looking for a fire, are they? 284 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:23,112 Jack's going to milk the cows in Farmer Jackson's top field. 285 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,676 Milk the cows? 286 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,711 Oh, my God! 287 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,309 Harry? Harry, don't leave me like this. 288 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,799 Don't stand there sitting about. Come on. 289 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:37,471 Harry? Harry, what's the matter? 290 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,679 Hold that wire down. 291 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:54,349 You'll have to come to the centre part, otherwise you won't get your leg over. 292 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,311 You watch your language. Push down. 293 00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:58,191 Argh! 294 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,392 Ssh! 295 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,231 Oooh! 296 00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:11,273 Now, crouch down so the cows don't take fright. 297 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,559 - They're a bit bunched up. - We only need one. 298 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:19,115 - Aaah! Aaaah! Aaaah! - What are you doing? 299 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:22,232 Farmer Jackson makes that noise and they all come trotting over. 300 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,794 Aah! Aaah! Aaaah! 301 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,354 Shut up! 302 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,709 Or Farmer Jackson'II come trotting over. 303 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,358 - They didn't take no notice of me. - I'm not surprised. 304 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,516 Which one shall we go for? 305 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:39,235 - I fancy that one over there. - Don't worry, you'll grow out of it. 306 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,599 - She hasn't got a very big bulgy bit. - Maybe we're early. 307 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:47,315 Perhaps she hasn't filled it up for us yet. Let's get a bit closer. 308 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:50,591 - What do you think? - Can you see four terminals? 309 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,631 I can see one. 310 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,631 Hey! Hey! 311 00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,879 Wilfred, why is your mother impersonating a butterfly? 312 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,950 Jack! Bullocks! 313 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,639 I beg your pardon! 314 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,318 Bullocks! 315 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:11,553 Bullocks! 316 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,470 They're not cows. 317 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,317 They're bullocks. 318 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,316 Come on. 319 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,430 Hurry up, Wilfred. 320 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,471 They're coming towards you. 321 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,877 Perhaps they know we were going to pull their terminals. 322 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,951 Come. 323 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,191 Sorry to disturb you, Cecil. 324 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,835 Vera and I are tidying the buffet. Can I have your cup? 325 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,429 You're not disturbing me, May. You're like a ray of sunshine. 326 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,358 Very kind of you to say so. Have you finished with your cup? 327 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,630 Yes. It was like pure nectar. 328 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,989 Really? It was just ordinary Typhoo Tips. 329 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,755 Would you like to give it to me? 330 00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:04,271 I'd rather give you my heart. 331 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:08,757 I've told you before, Cecil, I'd rather you didn't say things like that. I'm not used to it. 332 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,836 I know. Jack doesn't appreciate you. 333 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,871 Oh, yes, he does. Occasionally. 334 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,711 Usually on a Sunday morning. 335 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,955 But he doesn't offer me his heart. 336 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,719 Sometimes, if I'm lucky, a Woodbine. 337 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,389 Leave him, May. 338 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,908 - Don't be silly, Cecil. - I mean it. Leave him! 339 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,873 Cecil, if you spill these dregs down my front, you will not be popular. 340 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,591 Come away with me, May. Tonight. 341 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:39,191 Oh! Where would you take me? The George Cinq in Paris? 342 00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:44,989 No, no. But I have a bit saved up and I have an aunt who has a guest house in Bognor Regis. 343 00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:50,069 - It's quite near the front. - It's very kind of you to offer, Cecil. 344 00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:54,591 But man does not live by bed-and-breakfast alone. 345 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,631 Not even in Bognor Regis. 346 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,274 What would we do when we get through your savings? 347 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,276 We could start again, May. 348 00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:05,552 - Think about it. - Oh, well, I'm bound to do that. 349 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,271 Oh. 350 00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:22,874 Well, I can't say I didn't enjoy that. 351 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:27,516 In fact, it was very nice. But you mustn't do it again, Cecil, not for another 18 years. 352 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,149 Was I supposed to get the cup, or was you? 353 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,031 Obviously me. 354 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:46,150 - I'm not interrupting anything, am I? - Not now, Vera. 355 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,591 That's a good thing. 356 00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:04,152 Hello, gorgeous! And how's my very own little sexpot today? Come here! 357 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,191 Give over, Percy! 358 00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,680 Hello? Taking evasive action this morning? 359 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:13,872 I've had plenty of practice. I've just evaded a couple of dozen cowpats. 360 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,079 Where's May? 361 00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:19,793 I don't know. And Vera disappeared as soon as she saw me. 362 00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:23,150 You've not tried to grab hold of her as well, have you? 363 00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,760 You're the only one for me, my lovely. 364 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,791 Sorry to keep you waiting, Percy. 365 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:31,958 I've just been collecting Mr Parkin's dirty, utilised teacup. 366 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:36,435 Now, what do you want? Because we probably haven't got it. 367 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:40,312 Jack, did you have any luck getting that milk? 368 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,749 - Sorry, May. - Oh, Jack, what am I going to do? 369 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,475 - They were the wrong type of cows. - They didn't have bulgy bits. 370 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:49,080 When we got back you weren't here. Where have you been? 371 00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:52,237 Erm... Well, I've been tidying up a bit. 372 00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,999 I popped into Mr Parkin's office to get his teacup. 373 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:59,113 - Vera went for it. - I thought she might need a tray to put it on. 374 00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,958 - You're not carrying a tray. - I know. I forgot it. 375 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:06,357 Oh, dear. I'm all at sixes and sevens, what with having no milk and stuff. 376 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,197 May? 377 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,116 Did you hear that? She's trying to avoid me. 378 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,357 No, she's not. She's just trying to make the place tidy. 379 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,631 In his office again. Every time my back's turned, she's in his office. 380 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:21,069 Don't start all that jealous business again. 381 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,514 Oh, is Mrs Skinner anywhere about? 382 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:27,233 No, and if you want another tea, we've only got Bovril. 383 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,955 Hello, Mr Parkin. Can I be of any service to you? 384 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:35,551 I was about to say don't worry about the milk, Mrs Skinner. I contacted Gloria at her college. 385 00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:39,070 She and Amy are bringing some. They'll be here in time for the Minister. 386 00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:44,319 Oh, thank you very much, Mr Parkin. What a good idea. Why didn't you think of that, Jack? 387 00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:46,828 Now, see here, Mr Parkin. 388 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,831 How dare you get my daughter to leave her studies! 389 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:52,632 How dare you even speak to her! 390 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,955 It's a free country, Mr Skinner. 391 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,959 You're right, and I shall feel free to punch you on your interfering nose. 392 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:03,839 Now, stop it, Jack. Stop it! Stop it! 393 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:08,590 I see. All this has obviously been too much of a strain for you, Mr Skinner. 394 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,552 I think it would be best if you take the rest of the day off. 395 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:15,593 - I don't want a day off. - I'm relieving you of your duties, Mr Skinner. 396 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:19,315 Relieving me of my duties? What about the Minister's lot? 397 00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:21,191 I will meet them personally. 398 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:25,677 In the unlikely event of them noticing your absence, I will explain that you are indisposed. 399 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,598 Anyway, your presence on the station is not necessary. 400 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,437 You are surplus to requirements. 401 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,676 There you are, Ethel. Now do you believe he doesn't want me on the station? 402 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,508 Yes, I do, Jack. But you shouldn't have threatened him. 403 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,279 - You went too far there, Jack. - I'll threaten him. 404 00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,754 Come with me. We're going to find Ralph and Arnold. 405 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:48,679 We'll show him who runs this railway, and how we can all stick together. 406 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,676 Come on, Percy. 407 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,318 Harry! 408 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:01,118 - Hello. - That's them now. Do you know what to do? 409 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,310 Of course I flamin' well know what to do. 410 00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:05,476 - Good lad. - Where are you going? 411 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,549 To the bridge. I wouldn't miss this for all the tea in China. 412 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,434 Be sure and get all the wrinkles out, Wilfred. 413 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:17,234 Erm... May... Mrs Skinner. You will stand on the right of the carpet. 414 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,236 Wilfred, you will stand by the Gents. 415 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:22,317 I will stand on the carpet, ready to receive the Minister. 416 00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:25,989 I hope you realise I still haven't got any milk. All will be well. Trust me. 417 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:32,472 I thought I'd dress up as a passenger, as we don't seem to have many. 418 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:36,120 Or any, in fact. 419 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,912 I've brought my best umbrella. 420 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,350 I haven't used this since my late husband's funeral. 421 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,709 And he was an engine driver, you know. 422 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,835 Come to think of it, it wasn't raining. 423 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:53,156 Sorry to be so late, Mum. 424 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,555 Amy got a puncture, so we had to push. 425 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,910 Ah, well done, love. I'll put it in my jugs later. 426 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,273 It's time we were in position on the platform. Come along. 427 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:04,311 Yes, Mr Parkin. 428 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:10,557 Now, centre it on that chalk mark, Wilfred. 429 00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,028 It's the wrong carpet. 430 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,071 Yes, it's the wrong carpet. 431 00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:21,111 The other way up! 432 00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:24,871 Fool! 433 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:42,429 Right. Now this is the precise point where the carriage will stop. 434 00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,836 I will receive them here. You on my left, Mrs Schumann. 435 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:47,871 And Mrs Skinner here. 436 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:51,913 Amy, Gloria, Mrs Plumtree, you are passengers. Over there on the right. 437 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,394 And as the train draws in, I will salute. 438 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,390 Shall I salute from the Gents? 439 00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,557 - Certainly not. - He's only asking. 440 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,875 Don't bully him, he's only a boy. 441 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,317 I will wave, like Queen Mary used to. 442 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,473 Ralph, are you clear on what to do? 443 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:21,672 - I could do it in my sleep. - Good, but to please me, stay awake. 444 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,631 I'm going to enjoy this. 445 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,191 Good lad! So am I. 446 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,030 Here they come. Stand by, everyone. 447 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:40,231 Platoon, attention! 448 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:48,271 Sorry, Mr Parkin. Slight change of plan. 449 00:28:24,360 --> 00:28:28,433 ♪ Oh, Doctor Beeching, what have you done? 450 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:32,155 ♪ There once were lots of trains to catch, but soon there will be none 451 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:36,113 ♪ I'll have to buy a bike, cos I can't afford a car 452 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,914 ♪ Oh, Doctor Beeching, what a naughty man you are 453 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:43,794 ♪ Oh, Doctor Beeching, what have you done? 454 00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:47,879 ♪ There once were lots of trains to catch, but soon there will be none 455 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:52,038 ♪ I'll have to buy a bike, cos I can't afford a car 456 00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:55,550 ♪ Oh, Doctor Beeching, what a naughty man you are 38090

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