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1
00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:36,152
- Good morning, Amy.
- Good morning, Vera.
2
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:40,557
I'm holystoning my front step.
Because it's Monday.
3
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,830
That's as good a reason as any.
4
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:52,277
- Morning, Mr Skinner. Is Gloria ready?
- She's just coming.
5
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,880
- Gloria, Amy's here.
- Goodbye, Mum.
6
00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,794
- See you lunch time, Dad.
- Take care, now.
7
00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:01,877
Ooh, you're putting
it on a bit, aren't you?
8
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,354
Don't be disrespectful to your father.
9
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:08,154
And it's not me. You've got a fat bicycle.
10
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,954
And you've no business riding to town
in a short skirt like that.
11
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:16,073
Give over, Dad. It's not as short as Amy's.
You don't say anything to her.
12
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:17,997
What Amy wears is none of my business.
13
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,349
I'm not her father.
14
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,470
You're not whose father?
15
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,795
I'm just telling Gloria
I'm not Amy's father.
16
00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:26,990
I should think not, indeed.
17
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,474
I wouldn't mind if you
were my dad, Mr Skinner.
18
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,478
Mine wouldn't care if I rode to college
with nothing on at all.
19
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,351
Amy, be off with you.
20
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:36,439
Bye.
21
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:40,675
Jack, you've no business encouraging her
with talk like that.
22
00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:42,472
I never said a word.
23
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,239
You must have,
or she wouldn't have said what she did.
24
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,272
- Now, look!
- Don't argue, Jack. It doesn't suit you.
25
00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,356
It makes your face all ugly.
26
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:53,312
Look, May, I simply
said I wasn't Amy's father,
27
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:56,557
so I wasn't going to say anything
about a short skirt!
28
00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,996
Who's got a short skirt?
29
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:01,393
Amy!
30
00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:03,431
I'll go and get my glasses.
31
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:08,036
I don't want to interrupt
anyone's domestic striving,
32
00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:12,312
but have you noticed that the
milkman hasn't done his roundabouts?
33
00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:17,638
Jack, don't stand there gossiping to Vera.
The milkman's not been.
34
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,194
- There's nothing I can do about it.
- Oh, yes, there is.
35
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,915
Ask Ethel if she can let me have a pint
so I can open the buffet. And look sharp!
36
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,633
Mr Skinner! The milkman hasn't been.
37
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,875
I know. Get up to the station and open up.
38
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,275
Ethel. Ethel!
39
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,628
- Hello.
- May says, have you got some milk?
40
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,591
Yes, thanks.
41
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:45,676
Where's the girl in the short skirt?
42
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:48,234
She's gone off on her bike.
43
00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,033
Oh. Sorry I missed that.
44
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,308
You've got to be quick
these days, ain't you?
45
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,237
- Good morning, May.
- Ooh! Cecil!
46
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,510
What are you doing here at this time?
47
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,996
I thought if I got here early, we could
spend a few moments alone together.
48
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,715
- Kiss me, May.
- I don't think this is a very good idea, Cecil.
49
00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:14,915
May, I haven't kissed you for 18 years.
50
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:19,112
Well, you'd better hang on a bit longer, cos
Jack'II be coming through that door in a minute.
51
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,151
I don't care.
52
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,595
Cecil, he'd want to know
what you were doing here early like this.
53
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,437
May, I haven't slept a wink.
54
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:29,994
I've thought about
you constantly all night.
55
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:34,033
So, at five this morning, I thought
I'd try a bit of do-it-yourself.
56
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,274
Well, it's better than nothing, I suppose.
57
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:40,799
May, this is all I've got.
58
00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:44,196
Oh, good morning, Mr Parkin. You're early.
59
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:48,791
Mr Parkin has had trouble sleeping, so he
thought he'd pop in for an early cup of tea.
60
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,153
Oh, I see.
61
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,714
But I've told him he's not getting any,
62
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:55,478
cos we're out of milk.
63
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:59,638
I haven't been wasting my time. I've been
indulging in a little do-it-yourself.
64
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,317
Oh, yes?
65
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,555
Come with me. I think you'll be pleased.
66
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,788
- Look.
- That's been lying in a corner since Christmas.
67
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,956
They said they'd send a man to put it up.
68
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:18,232
It's no good waiting for British Railways
workers in this day and age, Mrs Schumann.
69
00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,794
"Do it today" is my motto.
70
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:26,039
Now, from time to time, I expect
you have to erm... leave your post.
71
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:30,995
Well, I usually manage to keep it down
to four times a day, Mr Parkin.
72
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,792
That's very good, Mrs Schumann.
73
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:35,718
Except in exceptional circumstances.
74
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:40,392
Yes. Well, on such occasions,
to keep the passengers informed,
75
00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,876
all you have to do is pull down this blind.
76
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:48,478
And then, upon your return,
you simply raise the blind.
77
00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:52,035
- And then, the next time you leave...
- I lower the blind.
78
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,071
So, I just pull this string, do I?
79
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:56,759
That's correct, yes. This one to lower.
80
00:04:56,800 --> 00:05:00,429
- And this one to raise.
- Oh. Can I have a go?
81
00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,869
Right. So, I've come back,
82
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,798
and up goes...
83
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,990
- Hello.
- Oh, Wilfred.
84
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:11,157
You frightened the life out of me.
Go and clean your teeth.
85
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:12,838
Yes, Mum.
86
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,990
There's one further detail, Mrs Schumann.
87
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,555
Having raised the blind
from the Position Closed position,
88
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:23,593
you then place this Position Open sign
in position.
89
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,830
Oh, that's good, in't it?
90
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:29,472
Right.
91
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:31,750
Position...
92
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,671
- ..closed.
- No sign.
93
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,711
Oh, yes.
94
00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,670
No sign.
95
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,712
Oh, and position...
96
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,671
- ..open.
- Sign.
97
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,631
Yes.
98
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:51,831
May says your tea's ready.
And your sign's upside down.
99
00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:01,676
Oh, there you are, Jack.
Now, sip it slowly, cos it's all you get.
100
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:05,599
That Parkin's so ignorant
he doesn't realise what a fool he is.
101
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:08,313
Stop bellyaching about
Parkin. It's too early.
102
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:12,756
Mr Parkin's taking a very important
telephone call from District,
103
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:16,076
so he says, can you very kindly
take his tea to him in his office?
104
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,351
No, she can't. I'm not having
my wife waiting on him hand and foot.
105
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:24,793
Calm down, Jack. I'm not waiting on him
and certainly not hand and foot.
106
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:27,354
Now, Vera, be a love,
107
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,392
and take this in to
Mr Parkin in his office.
108
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,193
Of course. It'd be a pleasure.
109
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:37,438
I enjoy going into his office,
specially when he's not there,
110
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,994
and I can ferret through his knick-knacks.
111
00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:46,118
May mollycoddles him. She never mollycoddles
me. Why does she mollycoddle him?
112
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:47,752
He is the Station Master.
113
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,872
So what? I could have been the
Station Master any time I'd wanted.
114
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:55,232
You should have applied for the job, like I
told you, and then you'd have had power.
115
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,032
Women like power in men.
116
00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:58,877
Power is an aphrodizzy...
117
00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:01,639
Aphrodizz... Something.
118
00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:03,750
That's power over big corporations.
119
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:07,076
Power over you, me and Wilfred
is an aphrodizzy-nothing.
120
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,471
Morning, Arnold. Morning, Ralph.
121
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,238
- Morning, May.
- Morning.
122
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:16,317
Oh, there's been a to-do
at Knossington Bassett.
123
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:20,717
Knossington Bassett?
I thought Beeching had shut it.
124
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,320
No, not until September.
125
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:27,558
Last night there was a break-in. They got away
with all the takings from the booking office.
126
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,438
- How much did they get?
- Thirteen and fourpence.
127
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,348
And they set off all
the fire extinguishers,
128
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,949
they took two bags of fertiliser
and a crate of pigeons.
129
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,991
What is the world coming to?
130
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,111
What about that signalman, Henry?
131
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,593
No, they left him.
132
00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,238
Didn't he spot 'em?
133
00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:50,953
Well, he was having forty winks, you see.
134
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:56,313
And by the time he'd come to, they were making
their getaway on the milkman's horse and cart.
135
00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,397
Oh, so that's why we didn't get any milk
this morning.
136
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:03,956
They won't have got far with the milkman's
horse and cart. He stops at every house.
137
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,877
Now, pay attention, everybody.
138
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:12,311
I've just had a very important conversation
with Mr Orkindale at District.
139
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:16,558
The Minister of Transport and several
members of his department are in the area,
140
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:20,354
and will be passing through here around
lunch time, possibly on the one seven.
141
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,356
Will they be stopping off, Mr Parkin?
142
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:26,188
Who knows? Maybe not, maybe they will.
We must all be prepared.
143
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,800
Well, I can't be prepared.
I've not got any milk.
144
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,879
Oh, dear. Well, I obviously cannot leave
the station myself,
145
00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:36,993
but I'm sure Mr Skinner will take
care of that, won't you, Mr Skinner?
146
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,634
You'll make sure your wife gets her milk.
147
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:45,070
Oh. Yes, of course.
148
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:48,078
Make sure the brasses are sparkling
and the station is spotless.
149
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,599
Yes, Mr Parkin.
150
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,200
They're not going to
shut us down, are they?
151
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,912
I hope not, Mrs Schumann.
152
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,555
All we can do is to be as polite,
efficient and alert as possible.
153
00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:02,116
The passengers will be arriving any minute, so
we'd better stand by our posts. So go to it!
154
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,151
Right away, Mr Parkin.
155
00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,231
Yes, Mr Parkin.
156
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:16,272
Hang on, Mr Montgomery,
while I get the betting book.
157
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,391
Two... four...
158
00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,955
I won't be long, Mr Montgomery.
I'm just finding the right page.
159
00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:29,639
Erm... Here it is.
160
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:35,269
So, that's five shillings each way,
161
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,311
Russian Prince,
162
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:40,636
four o'clock, Newmarket.
Yes, I'll tell Harry.
163
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,631
I'll come and see to you in a minute.
164
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:49,750
Not you, Mr Montgomery.
I've seen to you already.
165
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:56,278
Are you there, Mr Montgomery?
I said, not you, I've seen to you already.
166
00:09:57,440 --> 00:09:59,749
I don't know what you mean, Mr Montgomery.
167
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,354
Is anybody going to sell me a ticket?
168
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,391
I'm coming as fast as I can.
169
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:11,033
Do you mind not doing that, madam?
The blind's only just been installed.
170
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,034
Shop!
171
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,191
The flippin' thing's stuck.
172
00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:21,509
Do you mind, madam? You are causing
the mechanism to malfunction.
173
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,391
Well, are you open or not?
174
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,950
Where's she gone?
175
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,309
- Shop!
- Oh, heck!
176
00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:38,716
I'm sorry if I've inconvenienced
you, madam. Can I be of assistance?
177
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:41,911
I want a day return to Clumberfield.
178
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,633
Day return to Clumberfield.
That'll be three and eleven.
179
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,991
Day return to Clumberfield.
180
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,112
A day return to Clumberfield.
That'll be three and eleven.
181
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,116
I know.
182
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,515
Four shillings. You need a penny change.
183
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,151
Penny change... Penny change...
184
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:03,794
There you are, madam. There's your penny
change. I hope you have a nice journey.
185
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:07,071
Well, thanks to you,
it's been a very bad start.
186
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:10,078
The sooner Beeching shuts you down,
the better.
187
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,236
There's no need to be like that, madam.
188
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,033
I'm sorry about the bother with the blind
but it's new,
189
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:17,833
and we're having one
or two teething problems.
190
00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:20,110
Having teething problems, are you?
191
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:23,436
I'll show you the best way
to deal with teething problems.
192
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,918
Oh! You shouldn't have done that, madam.
Mr Parkin has just put it up.
193
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,231
Good morning.
194
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:41,874
Mrs Schumann?
195
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:46,352
Mrs Schumann, what has happened
to the Position Closed blind?
196
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,512
Mrs Schumann! You'll have to pay for that.
197
00:11:56,800 --> 00:12:00,873
- Hatley, Hatley, Hatley!
- Thank you, Mr Skinner. I'll do this one.
198
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,995
You take care of your wife's requirements.
199
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:05,598
You what?
200
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,074
The milk, Mr Skinner, the milk!
201
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,993
This is Hatley. Hatley! Hatley!
202
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,838
Change here for Bustin and Wenstead.
203
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:20,519
You've got to admit, Mr Skinner,
he's got a lovely posh voice.
204
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:22,915
He gives the station a lot more class.
205
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:25,315
Go and clean the brass in the bog.
206
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,991
Come on, Ralph. Where are you?
207
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:36,871
Sorry, I forgot my pork sausages.
May keeps them in the fridge for me.
208
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,116
Now, look. You are not...
209
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,912
You are not cooking
pork sausages on my train.
210
00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:48,154
Not with the Minister
of Transport in the area.
211
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,428
Why? Is he Jewish?
212
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,232
Check your gauges.
213
00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,748
Stop worrying, Ethel.
214
00:12:55,800 --> 00:13:00,920
When Mr Parkin knows what happened, he won't
expect you to pay for the wretched blind.
215
00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:05,033
It was a daft idea, anyway.
I just did what he said to be polite.
216
00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:08,550
Just fancy! All these important
people coming and I've not got any milk.
217
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,397
And what are we going to wear, Ethel?
218
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:14,479
My hair's a perfect sight.
It's not had a wash and set in a fortnight.
219
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:18,069
Oh, stop fussing, May.
They'll not bother to look at you.
220
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:24,434
Oh, thank you very much! I suppose you don't
care if your wife looks like a scarecrow.
221
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,152
Go and see Harry. He's good with hair.
222
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,714
He is not touching my hair, Jack.
223
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:32,196
This particular scarecrow
is looking for a bit of Vidal Sassoon,
224
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,231
not Harry's pudding basin.
225
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:38,272
That reminds me,
I must get that pudding basin back.
226
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,349
He's had it for four years now.
227
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,029
Now, where am I going to get some milk
for May?
228
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,913
Oh, troubles never come singly, do they?
229
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:50,554
Come in.
230
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,757
You can say that again.
231
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,236
Hey, they've probably got some milk
in that little shop in Wenstead.
232
00:13:58,280 --> 00:13:59,554
That's four miles away.
233
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:03,115
Why don't you borrow
Mr Parkin's bicycling thing?
234
00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:07,950
Harry was mending the front wheel when he lost
the ball bearings down a crack in the signal box.
235
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,797
He'll have some more on Wednesday.
236
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,831
Can't you say anything helpful?
237
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:15,111
I heard a lot of mooing this morning.
238
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:16,991
That'd be Farmer Jackson's cows.
239
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:20,237
They haven't been here very long.
They're in his top field.
240
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:23,829
That's it, Jack. He might
let you have a few pints.
241
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:25,950
He wouldn't give you the time of day.
242
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:29,595
All his milk gets sent off in a lorry.
It goes off every morning.
243
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:32,518
I don't mean it goes sour.
I mean it gets collected.
244
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:36,952
We know what you mean, you daft ha'p'orth!
245
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:39,875
He's only trying to help.
246
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,469
What I mean is, it'll have
left at five o'clock this morning.
247
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,432
The cows might have manufactured
a bit more by now.
248
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:47,833
They might give us a few pints.
249
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:53,238
Wilfred, milk does not come from the cows
prepacked in pint bottles.
250
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,829
You have to milk them.
Do you know anything about milking cows?
251
00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,713
- No.
- Neither do I, so shut up!
252
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,676
I know a little.
253
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:07,076
The milk is kept at the opposite end
from the head.
254
00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:11,433
And it's in a bulgy bit,
255
00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:15,950
and the bulgy bit has four terminals.
256
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,675
Oh, yeah? Battery cows, are they?
257
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:24,108
I've seen pictures. The milk comes out
when the milkmaid does this.
258
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:31,308
- It's a bit like bell ringing.
- I am not ding-donging on any cow's terminals.
259
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:34,909
May's relying on you to get her some milk.
You're not going to let her down.
260
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:39,238
I'm not letting her down. I'm just
not milking any cows for her, that's all.
261
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:43,068
Parkin won't let you forget it, mark
my words. He'll keep bringing it up.
262
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:46,476
I'll come with you.
I'll wash out the fire bucket to put it in.
263
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:51,708
Go on, Jack. Have a go.
At least you'll have tried.
264
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,791
Come on, Wilfred.
265
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,831
Once more into the breach.
266
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,519
I should try to steer clear of that part.
267
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,716
I think they're in that
field behind that hedge.
268
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,590
Thank you, Sherlock Holmes!
269
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,791
Psst!
270
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:17,879
I've got to ring the bookmaker's.
Where's Parkin?
271
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,912
He's in his house,
washing all the smuts off his cheeks.
272
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:25,272
He can wash his face as much as he likes.
He'll still have that miserable face.
273
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:30,272
I can't stand people with miserable faces.
274
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:37,392
- What are you doing?
- I've just about mended Parkin's flippin' blind.
275
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:42,279
Well, come on, Harry. Give us a hand.
276
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,230
- Where's it go?
- In the window.
277
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,271
- Oh.
- Hey!
278
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:55,915
Harry! Would you mind
what you're doing, please?
279
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:01,039
The things you see
when you haven't got your gun!
280
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:06,028
Give it here. I'll let Wilfred help me.
281
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:11,552
Oh, Wilfred?
282
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:16,151
I've just seen him and Jack going
across the field, carrying a fire bucket.
283
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,919
Looking for a fire, are they?
284
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:23,112
Jack's going to milk the cows
in Farmer Jackson's top field.
285
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,676
Milk the cows?
286
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,711
Oh, my God!
287
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,309
Harry? Harry, don't leave me like this.
288
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,799
Don't stand there sitting about. Come on.
289
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:37,471
Harry? Harry, what's the matter?
290
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,679
Hold that wire down.
291
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:54,349
You'll have to come to the centre part,
otherwise you won't get your leg over.
292
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,311
You watch your language. Push down.
293
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:58,191
Argh!
294
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,392
Ssh!
295
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,231
Oooh!
296
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:11,273
Now, crouch down so
the cows don't take fright.
297
00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,559
- They're a bit bunched up.
- We only need one.
298
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:19,115
- Aaah! Aaaah! Aaaah!
- What are you doing?
299
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:22,232
Farmer Jackson makes that noise
and they all come trotting over.
300
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,794
Aah! Aaah! Aaaah!
301
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,354
Shut up!
302
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,709
Or Farmer Jackson'II come trotting over.
303
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,358
- They didn't take no notice of me.
- I'm not surprised.
304
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,516
Which one shall we go for?
305
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:39,235
- I fancy that one over there.
- Don't worry, you'll grow out of it.
306
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,599
- She hasn't got a very big bulgy bit.
- Maybe we're early.
307
00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:47,315
Perhaps she hasn't filled it up for us yet.
Let's get a bit closer.
308
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:50,591
- What do you think?
- Can you see four terminals?
309
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,631
I can see one.
310
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,631
Hey! Hey!
311
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,879
Wilfred, why is your mother
impersonating a butterfly?
312
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,950
Jack! Bullocks!
313
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,639
I beg your pardon!
314
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,318
Bullocks!
315
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:11,553
Bullocks!
316
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,470
They're not cows.
317
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,317
They're bullocks.
318
00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,316
Come on.
319
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,430
Hurry up, Wilfred.
320
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:23,471
They're coming towards you.
321
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,877
Perhaps they know
we were going to pull their terminals.
322
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:34,951
Come.
323
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,191
Sorry to disturb you, Cecil.
324
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,835
Vera and I are tidying the buffet.
Can I have your cup?
325
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:49,429
You're not disturbing me, May.
You're like a ray of sunshine.
326
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:52,358
Very kind of you to say so.
Have you finished with your cup?
327
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,630
Yes. It was like pure nectar.
328
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:56,989
Really? It was just ordinary Typhoo Tips.
329
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,755
Would you like to give it to me?
330
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:04,271
I'd rather give you my heart.
331
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:08,757
I've told you before, Cecil, I'd rather you
didn't say things like that. I'm not used to it.
332
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,836
I know. Jack doesn't appreciate you.
333
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,871
Oh, yes, he does. Occasionally.
334
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,711
Usually on a Sunday morning.
335
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,955
But he doesn't offer me his heart.
336
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,719
Sometimes, if I'm lucky, a Woodbine.
337
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,389
Leave him, May.
338
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,908
- Don't be silly, Cecil.
- I mean it. Leave him!
339
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,873
Cecil, if you spill these dregs down
my front, you will not be popular.
340
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,591
Come away with me, May. Tonight.
341
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:39,191
Oh! Where would you take me?
The George Cinq in Paris?
342
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:44,989
No, no. But I have a bit saved up and I have
an aunt who has a guest house in Bognor Regis.
343
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:50,069
- It's quite near the front.
- It's very kind of you to offer, Cecil.
344
00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:54,591
But man does not live
by bed-and-breakfast alone.
345
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,631
Not even in Bognor Regis.
346
00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,274
What would we do
when we get through your savings?
347
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,276
We could start again, May.
348
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:05,552
- Think about it.
- Oh, well, I'm bound to do that.
349
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,271
Oh.
350
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:22,874
Well, I can't say I didn't enjoy that.
351
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:27,516
In fact, it was very nice. But you mustn't
do it again, Cecil, not for another 18 years.
352
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,149
Was I supposed to get the cup, or was you?
353
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,031
Obviously me.
354
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:46,150
- I'm not interrupting anything, am I?
- Not now, Vera.
355
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,591
That's a good thing.
356
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:04,152
Hello, gorgeous! And how's
my very own little sexpot today? Come here!
357
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,191
Give over, Percy!
358
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,680
Hello? Taking evasive action this morning?
359
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:13,872
I've had plenty of practice.
I've just evaded a couple of dozen cowpats.
360
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,079
Where's May?
361
00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:19,793
I don't know. And Vera disappeared
as soon as she saw me.
362
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:23,150
You've not tried to grab
hold of her as well, have you?
363
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,760
You're the only one for me, my lovely.
364
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,791
Sorry to keep you waiting, Percy.
365
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:31,958
I've just been collecting
Mr Parkin's dirty, utilised teacup.
366
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:36,435
Now, what do you want?
Because we probably haven't got it.
367
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:40,312
Jack, did you have any
luck getting that milk?
368
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,749
- Sorry, May.
- Oh, Jack, what am I going to do?
369
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,475
- They were the wrong type of cows.
- They didn't have bulgy bits.
370
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:49,080
When we got back you weren't here.
Where have you been?
371
00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:52,237
Erm... Well, I've been tidying up a bit.
372
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,999
I popped into Mr Parkin's
office to get his teacup.
373
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:59,113
- Vera went for it.
- I thought she might need a tray to put it on.
374
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,958
- You're not carrying a tray.
- I know. I forgot it.
375
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:06,357
Oh, dear. I'm all at sixes and sevens,
what with having no milk and stuff.
376
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,197
May?
377
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,116
Did you hear that?
She's trying to avoid me.
378
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,357
No, she's not.
She's just trying to make the place tidy.
379
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,631
In his office again. Every time
my back's turned, she's in his office.
380
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:21,069
Don't start all that
jealous business again.
381
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,514
Oh, is Mrs Skinner anywhere about?
382
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:27,233
No, and if you want another tea,
we've only got Bovril.
383
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:30,955
Hello, Mr Parkin. Can I
be of any service to you?
384
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:35,551
I was about to say don't worry about the milk,
Mrs Skinner. I contacted Gloria at her college.
385
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:39,070
She and Amy are bringing some.
They'll be here in time for the Minister.
386
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:44,319
Oh, thank you very much, Mr Parkin. What a
good idea. Why didn't you think of that, Jack?
387
00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:46,828
Now, see here, Mr Parkin.
388
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:50,831
How dare you get my daughter
to leave her studies!
389
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:52,632
How dare you even speak to her!
390
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,955
It's a free country, Mr Skinner.
391
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:58,959
You're right, and I shall feel free
to punch you on your interfering nose.
392
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:03,839
Now, stop it, Jack. Stop it! Stop it!
393
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:08,590
I see. All this has obviously been
too much of a strain for you, Mr Skinner.
394
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:11,552
I think it would be best
if you take the rest of the day off.
395
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:15,593
- I don't want a day off.
- I'm relieving you of your duties, Mr Skinner.
396
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:19,315
Relieving me of my duties?
What about the Minister's lot?
397
00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:21,191
I will meet them personally.
398
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:25,677
In the unlikely event of them noticing your
absence, I will explain that you are indisposed.
399
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,598
Anyway, your presence on the station
is not necessary.
400
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,437
You are surplus to requirements.
401
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,676
There you are, Ethel. Now do you believe
he doesn't want me on the station?
402
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,508
Yes, I do, Jack.
But you shouldn't have threatened him.
403
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,279
- You went too far there, Jack.
- I'll threaten him.
404
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,754
Come with me.
We're going to find Ralph and Arnold.
405
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:48,679
We'll show him who runs this railway,
and how we can all stick together.
406
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,676
Come on, Percy.
407
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,318
Harry!
408
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:01,118
- Hello.
- That's them now. Do you know what to do?
409
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,310
Of course I flamin' well know what to do.
410
00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:05,476
- Good lad.
- Where are you going?
411
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,549
To the bridge. I wouldn't miss this
for all the tea in China.
412
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,434
Be sure and get all
the wrinkles out, Wilfred.
413
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:17,234
Erm... May... Mrs Skinner.
You will stand on the right of the carpet.
414
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,236
Wilfred, you will stand by the Gents.
415
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:22,317
I will stand on the carpet,
ready to receive the Minister.
416
00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:25,989
I hope you realise I still haven't got
any milk. All will be well. Trust me.
417
00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:32,472
I thought I'd dress up as a passenger,
as we don't seem to have many.
418
00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:36,120
Or any, in fact.
419
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,912
I've brought my best umbrella.
420
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:41,350
I haven't used this
since my late husband's funeral.
421
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,709
And he was an engine driver, you know.
422
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,835
Come to think of it, it wasn't raining.
423
00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:53,156
Sorry to be so late, Mum.
424
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,555
Amy got a puncture, so we had to push.
425
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,910
Ah, well done, love.
I'll put it in my jugs later.
426
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,273
It's time we were in position
on the platform. Come along.
427
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:04,311
Yes, Mr Parkin.
428
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:10,557
Now, centre it on that chalk mark, Wilfred.
429
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:17,028
It's the wrong carpet.
430
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,071
Yes, it's the wrong carpet.
431
00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:21,111
The other way up!
432
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:24,871
Fool!
433
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:42,429
Right. Now this is the precise point
where the carriage will stop.
434
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,836
I will receive them here.
You on my left, Mrs Schumann.
435
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:47,871
And Mrs Skinner here.
436
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:51,913
Amy, Gloria, Mrs Plumtree, you are
passengers. Over there on the right.
437
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,394
And as the train draws in, I will salute.
438
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,390
Shall I salute from the Gents?
439
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,557
- Certainly not.
- He's only asking.
440
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,875
Don't bully him, he's only a boy.
441
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,317
I will wave, like Queen Mary used to.
442
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,473
Ralph, are you clear on what to do?
443
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:21,672
- I could do it in my sleep.
- Good, but to please me, stay awake.
444
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,631
I'm going to enjoy this.
445
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,191
Good lad! So am I.
446
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,030
Here they come. Stand by, everyone.
447
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:40,231
Platoon, attention!
448
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:48,271
Sorry, Mr Parkin. Slight change of plan.
449
00:28:24,360 --> 00:28:28,433
♪ Oh, Doctor Beeching, what have you done?
450
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:32,155
♪ There once were lots of trains to catch,
but soon there will be none
451
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:36,113
♪ I'll have to buy a bike,
cos I can't afford a car
452
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:39,914
♪ Oh, Doctor Beeching,
what a naughty man you are
453
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:43,794
♪ Oh, Doctor Beeching, what have you done?
454
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:47,879
♪ There once were lots of trains to catch,
but soon there will be none
455
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:52,038
♪ I'll have to buy a bike,
cos I can't afford a car
456
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:55,550
♪ Oh, Doctor Beeching,
what a naughty man you are
38090
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