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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,202 --> 00:00:02,172 >> Biscayne: TONIGHT ON 2 00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:03,300 "NEWSREADERS," EVER WONDER WHO 3 00:00:03,304 --> 00:00:04,244 CARVES HIS NAME IN EVERY 4 00:00:04,238 --> 00:00:06,308 MEN'S-RESTROOM TOILET SEAT? 5 00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:08,307 IT'S THIS GUY, AND HE'LL TELL 6 00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:09,739 YOU WHY HE CAN'T STOP. 7 00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,653 ALSO, WE'LL TELL YOU HOW EATING 8 00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:13,505 POPCORN CAN LOWER YOUR RISK OF 9 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,224 CANCER. 10 00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:15,645 >> IT CAN'T. 11 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:16,619 >> Biscayne: ALL THAT AND 12 00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:17,717 CHORES... 13 00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:21,418 TONIGHT ON "NEWSREADERS"! 14 00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:33,529 AMERICANS ARE OBSESSED WITH 15 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,374 CARS -- ONE GUY I KNOW HAS TWO 16 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,269 OF THEM -- AND PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS 17 00:00:37,271 --> 00:00:38,671 STICKING THINGS ON THEIR CARS, 18 00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:40,242 FROM "BABY ON BOARD" SIGNS TO 19 00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:41,481 THE THINGS THAT HELP MAKE 20 00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:43,205 BABIES. 21 00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:44,481 TESTICLES? 22 00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:46,708 NARGE HEMINGWAY HAS THAT STORY. 23 00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:48,548 >> AMERICANS LOVE CARS MORE THAN 24 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,219 ANYTHING -- EVEN THE ONES MADE 25 00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:50,778 BY KOREANS. 26 00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:52,254 AND THESE DAYS, THE THING 27 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:53,723 AMERICANS REALLY LOVE TO DO WITH 28 00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:56,624 CARS IS PUT TESTICLES ON THEM. 29 00:00:56,624 --> 00:00:58,664 CAR AND TRUCK TESTICLES STARTED 30 00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:00,629 AS A TREND IN RURAL AMERICA. 31 00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,228 BUT THESE DAYS, PEOPLE 32 00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:04,230 EVERYWHERE CAN BE SEEN HANGING 33 00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:05,632 BRAIN ON THEIR RIDES. 34 00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:08,273 BUT WHO IS THE BRAINS BEHIND THE 35 00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:09,669 BRAINS BEHIND YOUR CAR? 36 00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:11,310 HIS NAME IS JAKE LASTERBERG. 37 00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,235 THAT NAME IS PROBABLY FAMILIAR 38 00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:14,581 TO YOU, ESPECIALLY IF YOU GREW 39 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,635 UP WITH A LOT OF JEWS. 40 00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:17,654 >> WELL, I WAS A MECHANICAL 41 00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:18,775 ENGINEERING MAJOR IN COLLEGE. 42 00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:19,579 >> SURE. 43 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,280 >> AND I LOVE TESTICLES. 44 00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:22,282 >> OF COURSE. 45 00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:24,393 SO, YOU CAME UP WITH THE IDEA TO 46 00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:26,285 PUT BALLS ON CARS AND TRUCKS. 47 00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:27,287 >> YUP. 48 00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:29,458 EVERYBODY LOVES BALLS. 49 00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:31,257 SEEMED LIKE A NO-BRAINER. 50 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,329 >> A NO-BRAINER, OR A 51 00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:35,257 NOT-HIS-BRAINER? 52 00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:37,203 JAKE LASTERBERG'S FORMER FRIEND 53 00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:39,268 TOMMY GOLDMAN SAYS GO NADZ ARE 54 00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:41,197 HIS NADS, AND HE'S SUING IN 55 00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:43,302 COURT, JUST LIKE YOU'D SEE IN A 56 00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:45,274 FANCY BROADWAY PLAY OR SOME 57 00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:47,343 MOVIE ABOUT LAWYERS AND COURTS 58 00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:48,341 AND WHATNOT. 59 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:49,682 >> HE'S MAKING A FORTUNE OFF OF 60 00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:50,677 THE MOLD OF MY NUTS. 61 00:01:50,678 --> 00:01:51,208 >> MM. 62 00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:52,552 >> AND I HAVEN'T SEEN A DIME. 63 00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,316 THEY'RE SELLING THEM ONLINE, AT 64 00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:55,315 CAR WASHES. 65 00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,616 THEY SELL THEM AT A MALL KIOSK 66 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,317 LIKE THEY'RE CELLPHONE CASES. 67 00:01:58,319 --> 00:01:58,749 >> WOW. 68 00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,622 >> IT'S LIKE STEALING MY GENITAL 69 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:01,291 IDENTITY. 70 00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:02,359 >> YOUR BALL PRINTS. 71 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:02,816 >> YEAH. 72 00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:03,863 >> SO -- SO, THESE? 73 00:02:03,857 --> 00:02:04,457 >> YUP. 74 00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,228 >> THESE? 75 00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:06,586 >> YEAH, THOSE. 76 00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:07,734 >> EVEN THE BLUE ONES? 77 00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,298 >> YEAH, WELL, WE WERE IN A 78 00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:10,297 FRATERNITY, SO WE WERE 79 00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:11,428 CONSTANTLY PAINTING EACH OTHER'S 80 00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:11,832 GENITALS. 81 00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:13,472 >> IN LEGAL DOCUMENTS OBTAINED 82 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,837 BY "NEWSREADERS," BECAUSE WE 83 00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,365 ASKED FOR THEM AND THEY WERE 84 00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:17,840 GIVEN TO US AND THEY'RE ALSO ON 85 00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,568 THE INTERNET, TOMMY ALLEGES THAT 86 00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:20,843 WHILE HE AND JAKE WERE IN A 87 00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:22,481 FRATERNITY TOGETHER, JAKE MADE 88 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,446 MULTIPLE REPRODUCTIONS OF 89 00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,745 TOMMY'S REPRODUCTIVES. 90 00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,317 >> DID I LIKE TOMMY'S NUTS? 91 00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:28,646 SURE. 92 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,379 I ADMIRED ALL MY BROTHERS' NUTS. 93 00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:31,594 THAT'S WHAT BEING IN A 94 00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:32,785 FRATERNITY IS ALL ABOUT. 95 00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,886 I PLASTER-CASTED A LOT OF JUNK 96 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:35,888 IN COLLEGE. 97 00:02:35,889 --> 00:02:37,859 >> SO, JUST TO CLARIFY, YOU AND 98 00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:39,858 YOUR COLLEGE BUDDIES ARE KIND OF 99 00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,760 SITTING AROUND, IT'S A WEEKEND, 100 00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,732 MAYBE YOU'RE WATCHING SOMETHING 101 00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:44,731 ON THE TUBE -- 102 00:02:44,732 --> 00:02:46,502 >> [ LAUGHS ] 103 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,540 YEAH, SOUNDS LIKE US. 104 00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:48,365 >> UH-HUH. 105 00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:49,739 AND -- AND THEN YOU'RE 106 00:02:49,737 --> 00:02:51,667 SLATHERING COLD, WET PLASTER ON 107 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,212 ANOTHER GUY'S SCROTUM. 108 00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:54,877 >> WE WOULD PLASTER-CAST EACH 109 00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:56,605 OTHERS' JUNK ALL THE TIME. 110 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:57,880 I'M NOT DISPUTING THAT. 111 00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,608 IT'S JUST SOMETHING WE LOVED 112 00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:00,353 TO DO. 113 00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:02,518 >> JAKE, IS THE MODEL FOR 114 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:07,786 GO NADZ TOMMY GOLDMAN'S NUTSAC? 115 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:08,918 >> LOOK, I LEARNED A LOT ABOUT 116 00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:09,892 TESTICLES IN COLLEGE... 117 00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:10,760 >> WELL, WE ALL DID. 118 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:11,828 >> ...AND TOMMY'S GOT A NICE 119 00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,225 PAIR OF ROCKS, BUT GO NADZ IS MY 120 00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:14,497 CREATION. 121 00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:15,755 >> IS TOMMY A LIAR? 122 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:16,903 IS JAKE A FRAUD? 123 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:18,567 AND WHY DO THEY BOTH HAVE 124 00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:20,366 LITTLE-KID GANGSTER NAMES? 125 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:21,768 TWO OUT OF THREE OF THESE 126 00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:23,439 QUESTIONS WERE DECIDED HERE, 127 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:26,907 IN COURT. 128 00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,707 AND WE WERE THERE FOR THE TRIAL. 129 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,779 >> ANGELA, YOU AND TOMMY DATED 130 00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:32,848 OFF AND ON THROUGHOUT COLLEGE. 131 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:33,906 >> YES. 132 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,684 >> IS IT SAFE TO SAY THAT YOU 133 00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,553 ARE FAMILIAR WITH HIS TESTICLES? 134 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,691 >> OH, VERY MUCH. 135 00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:40,646 I WOULD SPEND HOURS WORKING HIS 136 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:41,394 NUTSAC. 137 00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:43,289 >> ANGELA, ARE THESE TOMMY'S 138 00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:44,391 TESTICLES? 139 00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:46,392 >> UM, I'M NOT SURE FROM SIGHT 140 00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:46,694 ALONE. 141 00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:48,604 WE WOULD KEEP THE LIGHTS OFF 142 00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,396 DURING SEX FOR TRADITIONAL 143 00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:51,398 REASONS. 144 00:03:51,399 --> 00:03:52,399 >> BECAUSE YOU CAN'T ORGASM 145 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:53,570 UNLESS YOU IMAGINE YOURSELF 146 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:54,737 ALONE, SHOOTING ACROSS THE 147 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:55,795 GALAXY IN A ROCKET-BED? 148 00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:58,443 >> MORE LIKE A MAGIC CARPET, 149 00:03:58,439 --> 00:03:59,869 BUT, YES, PRECISELY. 150 00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:03,583 >> BAILIFF, LIGHTS, PLEASE. 151 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,677 ANGELA, I ASK YOU ONCE AGAIN, 152 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:07,949 ARE THESE TOMMY'S TESTICLES? 153 00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:09,278 AND I REMIND YOU THAT YOU'RE 154 00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:09,753 UNDER OATH. 155 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,690 >> MMM... 156 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:12,815 MM-HMM. MM-HMM. 157 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,860 [ Muffled ] THESE ARE DEFINITELY 158 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,455 TOMMY'S TESTICLES. 159 00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:17,457 MM-HMM. FOR SURE. 160 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,358 >> THANK YOU, ANGELA. 161 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,690 LIGHTS, PLEASE. 162 00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:21,434 >> YES! 163 00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:22,459 >> NO FURTHER QUESTIONS, 164 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:22,763 YOUR HONOR. 165 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,733 >> THE PROSECUTION MADE A GOOD 166 00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:25,902 CASE FOR TOMMY'S 167 00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:27,869 "INNER-LEG-TUAL" PROPERTY, BUT 168 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,968 JAKE LASTERBERG AND GO NADZ HAD 169 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,870 ASSEMBLED A LEGAL DREAM TEAM. 170 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,572 >> NOW, MR. VAN FRUNT, YOU'RE 171 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:35,314 SOMETHING OF A TESTICLE EXPERT, 172 00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:35,609 NO? 173 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,749 >> NOT NO -- YES. 174 00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:39,605 I AUTHORED WHAT IS CONSIDERED 175 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,583 THE GOLD STANDARD ON TESTICULAR 176 00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:42,982 REPRESENTATIONS IN ART. 177 00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:44,853 EW GAVE IT PRETTY CLOSE TO A 178 00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:45,722 BULL'S-EYE. 179 00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:48,459 >> NOW, DR. VAN FRUNT, ARE 180 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,586 GO NADZ MODELED AFTER 181 00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:53,631 TOMMY GOLDMAN'S BALL BAG? 182 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,497 >> NO. 183 00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:57,626 GO NADZ WERE CLEARLY BASED ON 184 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,631 THE CLASSIC GREEK SCULPTURE 185 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,003 VICTORIOUS YOUTH. 186 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,541 >> NO MORE QUESTIONS, 187 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:03,496 YOUR HONOR. 188 00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,614 >> TOMMY'S CASE WAS THROWN OUT. 189 00:05:05,606 --> 00:05:07,736 THE CORPORATE GOLIATH HAD BEATEN 190 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,741 THE TINY DAVID WITH A GOLD SACK 191 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,613 FULL OF MONEY -- SACK AS IN 192 00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:12,882 "BALL SACK," B-BECAUSE THAT'S 193 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,350 WHAT THIS -- THIS WHOLE THING 194 00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:16,878 WAS ABOUT. 195 00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:18,694 JAKE, YOU REALLY DESTROYED TOMMY 196 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:19,416 IN THERE. 197 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,020 >> I'M SORRY THAT TOMMY FEELS SO 198 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,661 WRONGED, BUT GO NADZ DID NOT 199 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,616 STEAL FROM HIM. 200 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:25,034 AND JUST LIKE HOW WE HAD TO 201 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,755 SHUT DOWN TRAILER SACKS, BUMPER 202 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,430 JUNK, AND SACKS 5th AVENUE, WE 203 00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:29,759 HAVE A PRODUCT TO DEFEND. 204 00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,673 >> SO, WHAT ABOUT TOMMY GOLDMAN? 205 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,425 WELL, LIKE MANY STORIES ABOUT 206 00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:35,504 TESTICLES, THIS ONE HAS A HAPPY 207 00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:35,803 ENDING. 208 00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,543 >> I'M MAKING A LOT OF MONEY 209 00:05:37,538 --> 00:05:37,908 NOW. 210 00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:38,505 >> WOW. 211 00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:39,536 >> YEAH. I STARTED MY OWN 212 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:40,570 AUTO-ACCESSORY COMPANY. 213 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:43,814 I'M CALLING IT GOLDMAN'S SAC. 214 00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:45,551 >> SO, YOU NAMED YOUR COMPANY 215 00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:46,706 AFTER YOUR OWN LEATHER PURSE> 216 00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:47,854 >> THAT'S RIGHT, NARGE. 217 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:48,918 >> WHAT'S THE HOOK? 218 00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,546 >> YOU MEAN BESIDES BEING A 219 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:51,591 PERFECT REPRODUCTION OF A 220 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:52,715 FANTASTIC SET O' BELLS? 221 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:53,650 >> RIGHT. 222 00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:54,594 >> REALISM. 223 00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:55,588 >> REALISM? 224 00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,559 >> OUR VEHICULAR TESTES EXPAND 225 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:58,588 AND CONTRACT WITH THE 226 00:05:58,592 --> 00:05:59,462 TEMPERATURE. 227 00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,660 >> HMM. 228 00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:01,661 >> Biscayne: THAT'S OUR REPORT 229 00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:02,532 FOR TONIGHT. 230 00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:02,960 I'M REAGAN BISCAYNE. 231 00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,633 GOOD NIGHT. 232 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:10,543 >> WOW. 233 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:11,538 I KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA BE 234 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:12,969 THINKING THE NEXT TIME I SEE A 235 00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:13,873 SET OF GO NADZ. 236 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,084 NOW, JUST LIKE YOU, WE HAVE 237 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:16,575 FINISHED WATCHING "NEWSREADERS," 238 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:17,807 SO LET'S GET TO GABBIN' ABOUT 239 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,111 SOME OF THE WATERCOOLER MOMENTS 240 00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,552 FROM TONIGHT'S EPISODE. 241 00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:21,678 I'M TARK JONES. 242 00:06:21,682 --> 00:06:25,552 THIS IS "TALKING NEWS." 243 00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:26,693 JOINING US HERE AT THE 244 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:28,087 WATERCOOLER ARE SAMSUNG BOOST 245 00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:29,688 SPOKESPERSON ROB RIGGLE AND 246 00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:30,860 INGRID HAGERSTOWN, FROM 247 00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:31,958 "CHILDRENS HOSPITAL." 248 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:32,859 WELCOME, GUYS. 249 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,130 NOW, ROB, I KNOW YOU'RE A 250 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,057 "NEWSREADERS" SUPERFAN. 251 00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:35,896 >> YES. 252 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,566 >> SO, HOW ABOUT TONIGHT'S 253 00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:38,425 SUPER BALLS? 254 00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:40,102 >> TARK, CAN I JUST SAY, "WOW"? 255 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:41,970 I DID NOT SEE JAKE GETTING AWAY 256 00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:42,769 WITH THAT. 257 00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:43,840 >> INGRID, WHAT WERE YOUR 258 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:44,567 THOUGHTS? 259 00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:46,542 >> [ SPEAKING SWEDISH ] 260 00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:56,916 >> THAT'S A GOOD POINT. 261 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,517 I'M EXPECTING A LOT OF TALK 262 00:06:58,519 --> 00:06:59,849 ABOUT HOW JAKE OWES TOMMY 263 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,593 SOMETHING FOR PLANTING THE SEED 264 00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:02,589 OF THE IDEA. 265 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:03,490 >> AH, BUT DOES HE? 266 00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:04,021 >> EXACTLY. 267 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:04,794 >> DOES HE? 268 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,132 I MEAN, THAT'S THE QUESTION, 269 00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:06,756 YOU KNOW? 270 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,630 WE DON'T KNOW! 271 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:08,758 MAYBE -- MAYBE HE DOES. 272 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:10,602 BUT THE THING IS... 273 00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:11,468 MAYBE HE DOESN'T. 274 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:12,125 THINK ABOUT THAT. 275 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:12,732 >> YEAH. 276 00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:13,133 >> HUH? 277 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,603 >> TWO WAYS OF LOOKING AT IT, 278 00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:15,142 RIGHT, INGRID? 279 00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:17,095 >> [ SPEAKING SWEDISH ] 280 00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:24,811 >> I AM SO HAPPY YOU SAID THAT 281 00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,052 BECAUSE I'VE GOT A THEORY, AND 282 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,476 IT'S BLOWING UP ON REDDIT RIGHT 283 00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:28,651 NOW, THAT JAKE ONLY HAS ONE 284 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:29,649 BALL, SO THAT -- 285 00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:30,620 >> OHHH, YES! 286 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,788 THAT'S WHY HE STOLE TOMMY'S! 287 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,616 >> YOU GET IT. 288 00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:34,021 >> OHH! 289 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,661 >> WELL, THE CONVERSATION'S JUST 290 00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:36,756 GETTING STARTED, SO LET'S BRING 291 00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:37,627 OUT OUR NEXT GUEST. 292 00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,055 I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS HERE. 293 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,789 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S HIS FIRST 294 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,064 TIME ON "TALKING NEWS." 295 00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,572 GET READY FOR SKIP REMING! 296 00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:45,765 >> OH, MAN! 297 00:07:45,766 --> 00:07:48,066 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 298 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:53,173 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE STOP ] 299 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,683 WANT TO HAVE A SEAT? 300 00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,535 NOW, HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE 301 00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:58,554 THAT THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME ON 302 00:07:58,579 --> 00:07:59,779 "TALKING NEWS"? 303 00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,520 >> HOW IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE THAT 304 00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:02,675 THIS IS A TELEVISION SHOW? 305 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,153 HEY, BLONDIE. 306 00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:05,952 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY WIFE? 307 00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:07,593 >> [ Laughing ] HE SAID "WIFE" 308 00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:08,588 INSTEAD OF "LIFE"! 309 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:10,519 CLASSIC SKIP REMING! 310 00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:11,594 >> AWESOME. SO AWESOME. 311 00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:12,792 NOW, SKIP, YOU HAVE SO MUCH 312 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:13,933 EXPERIENCE IN THE WORLD OF 313 00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:14,657 NEWS. 314 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:15,802 HOW DO YOU PUT A STORY TOGETHER? 315 00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,566 >> WELL, BACK IN THE DAY, WE DID 316 00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:18,995 IT ON AN UNDERWOOD TYPEWRITER 317 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,569 WITH A CAMERAMAN WHO WAS A 318 00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:22,098 TAILGUNNER AND SOME TEQUILA MADE 319 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:22,872 FROM RICE. 320 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:23,840 >> OKAY. OKAY. 321 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,707 HOW ABOUT TONIGHT'S STORY? 322 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:26,936 TALK TO US ABOUT GO NADZ. 323 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,940 >> LISTEN BLUE JEANS, I GO TO 324 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:31,012 WORK, I KEEP MY HEAD DOWN, BUT 325 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,981 I KNOW ONE THING -- IF A MAN 326 00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,950 STEALS MY JELLY BAG AND GETS 327 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:37,118 AWAY WITH IT, THEN IT WAS HIS TO 328 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:38,087 BEGIN WITH. 329 00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:39,945 LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING, 330 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:40,753 KITTEN. 331 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,824 ARE YOU A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS? 332 00:08:42,823 --> 00:08:44,863 'CAUSE I'D LIKE TO GET YOU OUT 333 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,028 OF "DIS" DRESS. 334 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,156 >> [ LAUGHS ] 335 00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,101 WHERE DO YOU COME UP WITH THESE 336 00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:51,627 OLD-TIMEY LINES, SKIP? 337 00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,732 >> EH, NOT NOW KID. I'M MATING. 338 00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:56,104 >> [ SPEAKING SWEDISH ] 339 00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,243 >> AH. WELL, SHE'S RIGHT. 340 00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,767 I LOVE YOU, SKIP, BUT, UH, YOUR 341 00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,112 BREATH HAS GOT A LITTLE BIT OF 342 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:01,577 THE OLD DR. FUNKENSTEIN IN IT. 343 00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:02,775 >> STOP TALKING, SMILEY, AND 344 00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,036 WATCH ME TAKE LACE CURTAINS TO 345 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:04,854 THE CLEANERS. 346 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,105 [ SPEAKING SWEDISH ] 347 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,720 >> AWWW. 348 00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:16,692 [ SPEAKING SWEDISH ] 349 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:25,065 >> WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE NOW. 350 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,665 [ SMOOCHES ] 351 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:27,597 >> THE MAN'S A LEGEND. 352 00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:28,271 WHAT CAN I TELL YOU? 353 00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:28,998 HE'S A LEGEND. 354 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:29,942 NOW LET'S TAKE IT TO THE 355 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,067 AUDIENCE -- SEE IF ANYONE HAS 356 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:31,771 ANY QUESTIONS. 357 00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:32,312 YOU THERE. 358 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:33,905 >> I HAVE A QUESTION FOR SKIP. 359 00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,777 ARE THERE ANY SPOILERS FOR NEXT 360 00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:35,976 WEEK? 361 00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:36,776 >> WHAT? 362 00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,147 YOU'RE ASKING WHAT NEXT WEEK'S 363 00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:39,145 NEWS IS GOING TO BE? 364 00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:40,746 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? 365 00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:41,778 >> I CAN JUMP IN ON THIS, IF 366 00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:42,752 THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 367 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:43,150 >> YEAH. 368 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:44,150 >> NEXT WEEK, UH, TWO 369 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:45,751 SUPREME COURT JUSTICES ARE GONNA 370 00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:46,893 BE IMPLICATED IN FIXING 371 00:09:46,887 --> 00:09:47,757 GREYHOUND RACING. 372 00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:49,015 ALSO, THERE'S A LEADERSHIP 373 00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,322 BATTLE IN AL-QAEDA AROUND THE 374 00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:51,893 ARABIAN PENINSULA -- FOR REALS. 375 00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:52,292 >> WOW. 376 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,892 THIS MIGHT BE THE BEST EPISODE 377 00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:54,764 WE'VE EVER DONE. 378 00:09:54,762 --> 00:09:56,062 I AM NERDING OUT SUPERHARD RIGHT 379 00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:56,763 NOW. 380 00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:57,774 THAT IS ALL THE TIME WE HAVE, 381 00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,025 BUT I WANT TO THANK MY GUESTS. 382 00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,102 SKIP REMING, ROB RIGGLE, 383 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,030 INGRID HAGERSTOWN. 384 00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,044 ANY FINAL WORDS? ROB. 385 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,295 >> UH, WELL THANKS FOR HAVING 386 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:03,773 ME. 387 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:04,971 AND, UH, CAN, CAN I PLUG MY 388 00:10:04,972 --> 00:10:05,842 JET SKI ACADEMY? 389 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:06,669 >> ABSOLUTELY. 390 00:10:06,674 --> 00:10:07,684 >> HEY, ROB RIGGLE'S 391 00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:08,775 JET SKI ACADEMY. 392 00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:09,776 WE'RE LIVING LA VIDA LOCA! 393 00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:10,937 >> GREAT. SKIP? 394 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,054 >> WELL, THIS WHOLE, UH, THING 395 00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:15,046 HAS BEEN, UH, CONFUSING AND A 396 00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,918 BIGGER WASTE OF TIME THAN 397 00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:17,647 VOTING. 398 00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:20,121 OH, I'D ALSO LIKE TO PLUG MY 399 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,860 JET SKI ACADEMY. 400 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,815 >> GREAT. INGRID. 401 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:28,704 >> [ SPEAKING SWEDISH ] 402 00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:30,796 JET SKI ACADEMY. 403 00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:31,698 >> THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH 404 00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:32,199 FOR BEING HERE. 405 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:33,099 WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK ON 406 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,200 "TALKING NEWS." 407 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:37,811 [ SPEAKS SWEDISH ] 408 00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:38,935 >> YEAH, I LOVE YOUR TANTS. 409 00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:42,979 >> [ SPEAKING SWEDISH ] 410 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,206 >> YEAH. OKAY, KIDDO. 411 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,381 YEAH. YOU WERE GOOD. 412 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:46,848 >> THANKS, SKIP. 413 00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:47,817 >> YEP. [ GRUNTS ] 414 00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:49,675 >> YOU OKAY, SKIP? 415 00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:50,853 >> HUH? 416 00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:51,951 >> YOU OKAY? 417 00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:52,952 >> YEAH. 418 00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:53,753 YEAH. 419 00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:56,724 >> [ SPEAKING SWEDISH ] 420 00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:57,864 >> [ LAUGHS ] 421 00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:58,858 >> SKIP! SKIP! 422 00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,089 >> JUDO! 423 00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:01,293 I HAVEN'T LOST IT. 424 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,734 >> THAT'S RIGHT, SKIP. 425 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,100 >> [ SPEAKING SWEDISH ] 426 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:05,027 >> UH, JUDO. 427 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,832 HE JUGGLES, TOO. 26393

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