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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,481 [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION] 2 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:23,560 [RADIO CHATTER] 3 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:25,161 JOSEPH: And also Buckingham Palace 4 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:26,960 have been in touch to ask if we can have another look 5 00:00:27,001 --> 00:00:28,361 at their firewall because the queen's still receiving 6 00:00:28,401 --> 00:00:30,161 pop-ups for erectile dysfunction. 7 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,761 MARY: I once took one of those tablets by mistake. 8 00:00:32,801 --> 00:00:35,401 - Did it work? - Yes. 9 00:00:35,441 --> 00:00:37,320 JERRY: Happy Valentine's Day. 10 00:00:37,361 --> 00:00:39,081 JOSEPH: Oh. Are they all yours? 11 00:00:39,121 --> 00:00:41,560 JERRY: No. A lot of these are international arrest warrants. 12 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,161 I just didn't want to miss anything. 13 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,441 JOSEPH: Oh. Anything in there with my name on it? 14 00:00:45,481 --> 00:00:47,960 - Why? What did you do? - Oh, God, no. Nothing. 15 00:00:48,001 --> 00:00:49,960 JOSEPH: It's just me and Charlotte from GCHQ 16 00:00:50,001 --> 00:00:51,960 been having had a little bit of e-mail back and forth recently. 17 00:00:52,001 --> 00:00:55,120 MARY: Is that the tall girl with mad cow disease? 18 00:00:55,161 --> 00:00:56,680 JOSEPH: No. Who's that? 19 00:00:56,721 --> 00:00:58,921 - Morning, everyone. - Oh, shit. Did someone die? 20 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,001 CHRISTINE: Yes, about 80 million people. 21 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,320 This week, we're celebrating 76 years 22 00:01:03,361 --> 00:01:05,561 since the end of World War II. 23 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,320 JERRY: By dressing as Hitler and his dentist. 24 00:01:07,361 --> 00:01:08,680 EVELYN: [SNICKERS] 25 00:01:08,721 --> 00:01:10,960 Wait. I have to wear this for a whole week? 26 00:01:11,001 --> 00:01:12,600 CHRISTINE: Yes. 27 00:01:12,641 --> 00:01:15,721 This is a Women's Auxiliary Air Force pilot's uniform, 28 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,120 used to belong to your great-grandmother. 29 00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:20,680 JERRY: Wow, so your grandmother could fly. 30 00:01:20,721 --> 00:01:22,400 CHRISTINE: Yeah. Does that surprise you? 31 00:01:22,441 --> 00:01:24,260 JERRY: No. I just didn't know women were allowed 32 00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:25,600 to fly planes back then. 33 00:01:25,641 --> 00:01:27,680 I'd worry about how safe that was. 34 00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:30,001 TUVA: Lots of kamikaze pilots were women. 35 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,600 JERRY: Exactly, because they're the best at crashing. 36 00:01:32,641 --> 00:01:34,480 CHRISTINE: Also, I was very pleased to see 37 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:36,960 that last week's Hinkley Point success 38 00:01:37,001 --> 00:01:40,520 featured heavily on page 3 of the "Telegraph." 39 00:01:40,561 --> 00:01:42,520 JERRY: Wait. Why wasn't I asked to pose for that? 40 00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:44,040 CHRISTINE: It's not that sort of paper. 41 00:01:44,081 --> 00:01:47,320 What they didn't report is that, despite GCHQ 42 00:01:47,361 --> 00:01:49,760 regaining full control of Eternal Blue, 43 00:01:49,801 --> 00:01:53,161 a hybrid weapon is already being rebuilt by the Russians 44 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:57,841 with the capacity to disrupt air traffic control services across the globe. 45 00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:59,480 MARY: Gosh. 46 00:01:59,521 --> 00:02:01,320 JOSEPH: That's exactly what happens in "Die Hard 2." 47 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,760 JERRY: Did they even mention me by name in the article or... 48 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:05,241 CHRISTINE: No. 49 00:02:05,281 --> 00:02:08,360 Here at GCHQ, we prefer individuals to remain anonymous. 50 00:02:08,401 --> 00:02:10,561 JERRY: Well, it's certainly working. 51 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:13,640 By the way, who are you talking to at the NSA about this? 52 00:02:13,681 --> 00:02:15,600 - Aled Jones. - "The Snowman"? 53 00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:18,760 JERRY: Well, if you want Jonesy and me to put our heads together, 54 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,961 I'm sure we can locate these guys. 55 00:02:21,081 --> 00:02:22,880 Besides, I'd love to take a crack at saving 56 00:02:22,921 --> 00:02:25,840 the whole world, not just this little island. 57 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:28,041 CHRISTINE: Well, we can discuss that with Rupert later, 58 00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:30,521 but personally, I feel your ego 59 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:32,440 may prove to be too much of a distraction. 60 00:02:32,481 --> 00:02:35,041 JERRY: Oh, come on, Chris. Give me a little credit. 61 00:02:35,081 --> 00:02:38,840 It's not always gonna be about... Oh, my God, are those for me? 62 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:40,801 UMA: Yeah. They've just arrived. 63 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,280 JERRY: Wow. 64 00:02:43,321 --> 00:02:45,801 Oh, what? 65 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,241 [SNIFFS] 66 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:52,440 Oh, my this is so embarrassing. Thank you so much. 67 00:02:52,481 --> 00:02:54,041 UMA: They're not from me. 68 00:02:54,081 --> 00:02:56,201 JERRY: No, but still, I mean, it's just so sweet of you 69 00:02:56,241 --> 00:02:57,641 to give me these flowers. 70 00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:59,241 UMA: They're not from me. 71 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,641 JERRY: No. I know, but the way you handed them to me 72 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:01,680 was just so sweet. 73 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,120 - Can I go? - Yeah. 74 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:04,481 JERRY: I don't even remember your name. 75 00:03:04,521 --> 00:03:09,960 Wow. Oh, these are incredible. 76 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,840 Thank you. Look, a card. 77 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,041 JOSEPH: Did I not even get, like, an arrest warrant, then? 78 00:03:14,481 --> 00:03:16,640 JERRY: So sorry, buddy. 79 00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:20,880 "To Jerry. Mwah! Love... " question mark. 80 00:03:20,921 --> 00:03:24,400 I just want to say, if the person who got me these 81 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:29,400 happens to be in this room, from the bottom of my heart... 82 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,440 MARY: [GIGGLES] 83 00:03:32,481 --> 00:03:34,521 JERRY: Thank you. 84 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,680 CHRISTINE: Surely, you're not serious. 85 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,400 [KNOCKS ON DOOR] 86 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,720 JERRY: Yeah? 87 00:03:53,761 --> 00:03:55,440 - Hey. - Hey, what's up. I'm busy. 88 00:03:55,571 --> 00:03:58,011 JOSEPH: Oh, not much. Oh! 89 00:03:58,050 --> 00:04:00,571 I'm just a little bit lonely and bored. 90 00:04:00,610 --> 00:04:02,131 Do you mind if I sniff your flowers? 91 00:04:02,170 --> 00:04:03,691 JERRY: No. Knock yourself out. 92 00:04:03,730 --> 00:04:06,491 JOSEPH: Oh, this is something. 93 00:04:06,530 --> 00:04:09,011 [SNIFFING] 94 00:04:13,530 --> 00:04:17,491 [SNIFFING CONTINUES] 95 00:04:19,410 --> 00:04:22,170 [SNIFFING CONTINUES] 96 00:04:24,451 --> 00:04:26,850 Very nice. 97 00:04:26,891 --> 00:04:28,850 You know these weren't from me, yeah? 98 00:04:28,891 --> 00:04:30,571 I just didn't know if you were expecting a Valentine's gift 99 00:04:30,610 --> 00:04:32,090 just because we used to be married. 100 00:04:32,131 --> 00:04:33,571 JERRY: No, and listen. 101 00:04:33,610 --> 00:04:35,170 I'd rather you didn't keep using that phrase 102 00:04:35,210 --> 00:04:38,051 "used to be married" because it kind of makes it sound 103 00:04:38,090 --> 00:04:40,090 like it was for real, OK? 104 00:04:40,131 --> 00:04:42,371 JOSEPH: Right. What would you prefer I use, then, 105 00:04:42,410 --> 00:04:44,210 "sort of recently separated"? 106 00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:46,770 - Again, I just don't think... - "Widows?" 107 00:04:46,811 --> 00:04:48,410 - You know what? - I'd be up for that. 108 00:04:48,451 --> 00:04:51,530 JERRY: How about you don't refer to it ever again? 109 00:04:51,571 --> 00:04:52,850 JOSEPH: OK. You know, I'll try. 110 00:04:52,891 --> 00:04:55,011 JERRY: OK. 111 00:04:55,051 --> 00:04:57,210 JOSEPH: So you're not even a bit curious 112 00:04:57,251 --> 00:04:58,850 as to who they're from? 113 00:04:58,891 --> 00:05:00,931 JERRY: Yeah. I'm kind of busy protecting all mankind 114 00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:03,170 right now, so... 115 00:05:06,331 --> 00:05:10,131 JOSEPH: [MOANS] 116 00:05:10,170 --> 00:05:12,011 I guess I was just secretly hoping 117 00:05:12,051 --> 00:05:15,530 that, you know, you wouldn't get anything, either, 118 00:05:15,571 --> 00:05:17,011 and then we could be lonely together. 119 00:05:17,051 --> 00:05:18,290 You know what I mean? 120 00:05:18,331 --> 00:05:20,011 JERRY: Oh, my God, I almost forgot. 121 00:05:20,051 --> 00:05:25,530 Look what just arrived from... for you in the internal mail system. 122 00:05:25,571 --> 00:05:29,090 - Oh, my God. - I know. Go open it. 123 00:05:29,131 --> 00:05:31,331 JOSEPH: Oh, my God, oh, is this from you? 124 00:05:31,371 --> 00:05:33,131 JERRY: Are you kidding? 125 00:05:33,170 --> 00:05:36,011 You think I'd, what, get you a Valentine's Day card out of pity? 126 00:05:36,051 --> 00:05:37,451 JOSEPH: I wouldn't hold it against you. 127 00:05:37,491 --> 00:05:38,610 JERRY: No. I'm not that nice. 128 00:05:38,650 --> 00:05:39,931 JOSEPH: Oh, swear on your life. 129 00:05:39,970 --> 00:05:42,131 JERRY: I swear on your life, buddy. 130 00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:44,410 JOSEPH: Oh, my God. 131 00:05:44,451 --> 00:05:50,290 "Hey, sexy... " comma, "stay amazing. Kiss," full stop. 132 00:05:50,331 --> 00:05:53,210 - There. - Aww. 133 00:05:53,251 --> 00:05:55,811 JOSEPH: My God, do you think it's from Charlotte, maybe? 134 00:05:55,850 --> 00:05:58,571 - Could be. - Ohh... 135 00:05:58,610 --> 00:06:00,410 JOSEPH: but actually, we've never met. 136 00:06:00,451 --> 00:06:02,090 JERRY: So? 137 00:06:02,131 --> 00:06:03,571 JOSEPH: Well, so she's not really had the full experience. 138 00:06:03,610 --> 00:06:04,850 - Right. Yeah. - Yeah. 139 00:06:04,891 --> 00:06:06,491 JERRY: Still, it's possible. 140 00:06:06,530 --> 00:06:07,931 JOSEPH: Yeah. Maybe I'll just text her and ask. 141 00:06:07,970 --> 00:06:09,970 JERRY: No. Don't. No. Don't do that. 142 00:06:10,011 --> 00:06:11,131 JOSEPH: No? 143 00:06:11,170 --> 00:06:13,610 JERRY: Nope, because what if it isn't? 144 00:06:13,650 --> 00:06:16,210 - Mm. - Right, and if it is, 145 00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:19,251 JERRY: you don't want her knowing that you know. 146 00:06:19,290 --> 00:06:21,331 JOSEPH: Maybe I'll just get handwriting analysis done, then. 147 00:06:21,371 --> 00:06:22,571 JERRY: No. What? Where? 148 00:06:22,610 --> 00:06:23,970 JOSEPH: Here. It's downstairs. 149 00:06:24,011 --> 00:06:26,131 JERRY: No, absol... No, absolutely not. 150 00:06:26,170 --> 00:06:28,850 Do not to that. OK. Well, listen, buddy. 151 00:06:28,891 --> 00:06:32,170 Right now, that card could be from anyone. 152 00:06:32,210 --> 00:06:35,331 It's almost more fun not knowing who it's from. 153 00:06:35,371 --> 00:06:37,530 What's your wildest fantasy? 154 00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,730 JOSEPH: Meeting someone who could fly. 155 00:06:39,770 --> 00:06:41,931 JERRY: No. I mean, if that card could be from anyone 156 00:06:41,970 --> 00:06:43,850 in the world, who would you want it to be from? 157 00:06:43,891 --> 00:06:45,730 JOSEPH: I guess it'd be a toss-up 158 00:06:45,770 --> 00:06:48,051 between David Attenborough and Princess Jasmine from "Aladdin." 159 00:06:48,090 --> 00:06:49,931 - The live action or... - The cartoon. 160 00:06:49,970 --> 00:06:52,650 - The cartoon. There you go. - Yeah. 161 00:07:01,290 --> 00:07:03,210 - Hey. - You all right? 162 00:07:03,251 --> 00:07:04,811 JOSEPH: Yeah. 163 00:07:04,850 --> 00:07:06,331 I have a handwriting sample that needs analyzing. 164 00:07:06,371 --> 00:07:08,251 I was told you were the best person to ask. 165 00:07:08,290 --> 00:07:10,170 WOMAN: Case number? 166 00:07:10,210 --> 00:07:11,730 JOSEPH: Right. Yeah. 167 00:07:11,770 --> 00:07:13,491 It hasn't actually been assigned a number yet. 168 00:07:13,530 --> 00:07:14,931 WOMAN: Why not? 169 00:07:14,970 --> 00:07:16,491 JOSEPH: I know it's gonna sound really weird, 170 00:07:16,530 --> 00:07:17,811 but I think they've just run out. 171 00:07:17,850 --> 00:07:19,331 WOMAN: They've run out of numbers? 172 00:07:19,371 --> 00:07:20,891 JOSEPH: Well, no, not run out. 173 00:07:20,931 --> 00:07:22,970 I think they've just used them all up on other cases. 174 00:07:23,011 --> 00:07:25,371 I don't know if you've ever had that happen before. 175 00:07:25,410 --> 00:07:27,251 WOMAN: Who is the supervising officer on the case? 176 00:07:27,290 --> 00:07:28,850 I can touch via scope here. 177 00:07:28,891 --> 00:07:32,650 JOSEPH: Right. Yes. Gosh, I'm so bad with names... 178 00:07:32,691 --> 00:07:34,131 [TAPS TEETH] 179 00:07:34,170 --> 00:07:35,970 and there are so many now, aren't there? 180 00:07:36,011 --> 00:07:38,290 - There's only 4. - There's only 4? 181 00:07:38,331 --> 00:07:40,730 JOSEPH: Oh. Seemed like... 182 00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:45,331 Well, I'm guessing... 183 00:07:45,371 --> 00:07:47,530 ma-male. 184 00:07:47,571 --> 00:07:50,451 - White? - Yeah, probably. I mean... 185 00:07:50,491 --> 00:07:51,931 Or not. Or not. 186 00:07:51,970 --> 00:07:53,691 I mean, you know, they could've been more like... 187 00:07:53,730 --> 00:07:56,610 or, you know... or the color of this folder or not. 188 00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,891 WOMAN: Well, there are no blue supervising officers. 189 00:07:58,931 --> 00:08:02,170 JOSEPH: And I think that is so bad nowadays. 190 00:08:02,210 --> 00:08:03,691 WOMAN: Are you taking the piss? 191 00:08:03,730 --> 00:08:05,210 JOSEPH: Oh, no. God, no. No. 192 00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:07,131 I just, you know... I'm on your side, obviously. 193 00:08:07,170 --> 00:08:09,210 - What side's that, then? - I'm like you, aren't I? 194 00:08:09,251 --> 00:08:10,691 WOMAN: You're a Black woman? 195 00:08:10,730 --> 00:08:12,371 JOSEPH: Well, no, not quite, but I'm half. 196 00:08:12,410 --> 00:08:14,011 - Are you half a Black woman? - I'm just a complete mix. 197 00:08:14,051 --> 00:08:15,451 - Of black and blue. - Of Black and white. 198 00:08:15,491 --> 00:08:18,130 WOMAN: Oh, so you're gray. 199 00:08:18,171 --> 00:08:19,931 [CRUNCH] 200 00:08:19,970 --> 00:08:23,370 JOSEPH: So I have a handwriting sample that needs analyzing. 201 00:08:23,411 --> 00:08:24,771 Oh, God. 202 00:08:27,811 --> 00:08:29,651 CHRISTINE: Please don't tell me those are for me. 203 00:08:29,691 --> 00:08:31,051 JERRY: [LAUGHS] 204 00:08:31,090 --> 00:08:33,931 No. No, of course not. These are mine. 205 00:08:33,970 --> 00:08:35,651 EVELYN: You've got another bunch of flowers? 206 00:08:35,691 --> 00:08:37,171 JERRY: No. This is the same bunch. 207 00:08:37,210 --> 00:08:39,370 I just didn't want to leave them lying around. 208 00:08:39,411 --> 00:08:41,171 It's just not safe. 209 00:08:41,210 --> 00:08:42,931 CHRISTINE: This is one of the safest buildings on the planet. 210 00:08:42,970 --> 00:08:44,811 JERRY: I just don't want anyone tripping over them 211 00:08:44,850 --> 00:08:47,730 and risk hurting the arrangement. 212 00:08:47,771 --> 00:08:50,531 Do you mind if we have a word in private? 213 00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:52,571 - Evelyn. - But I only just sat down. 214 00:08:52,610 --> 00:08:53,890 CHRISTINE: You've been sitting down all day. 215 00:08:53,931 --> 00:08:55,931 - Yeah, but not like this. - Please? 216 00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:57,531 EVELYN: Ohh... 217 00:09:00,171 --> 00:09:01,850 JERRY: Thank you. 218 00:09:01,890 --> 00:09:03,730 Can I just say, for the first 6 months, 219 00:09:03,771 --> 00:09:06,370 I had no idea you two were mother and daughter. 220 00:09:06,411 --> 00:09:07,850 CHRISTINE: Well, I try not to make 221 00:09:07,890 --> 00:09:09,811 too much of a song and dance about it. 222 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,171 JERRY: No. I completely get it. 223 00:09:11,210 --> 00:09:13,051 I'd be the same if I were your daughter. 224 00:09:13,090 --> 00:09:15,331 CHRISTINE: What can I do for you? 225 00:09:15,370 --> 00:09:18,130 JERRY: Well, given I saved Britain last week... 226 00:09:18,171 --> 00:09:20,651 you're welcome... did Jonesy mention anything 227 00:09:20,691 --> 00:09:23,730 about the NSA dropping the case against me, 228 00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:26,890 you know, that whole election-fraud thing? 229 00:09:26,931 --> 00:09:28,651 CHRISTINE: I thought you liked it here. 230 00:09:28,691 --> 00:09:30,010 JERRY: Oh, no. Don't get me wrong. 231 00:09:30,051 --> 00:09:32,210 I love it here, and I adore your outfit. 232 00:09:32,250 --> 00:09:34,811 I'm just thinking, hypothetically, if I managed 233 00:09:34,850 --> 00:09:37,210 to track down these Russian dudes, 234 00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:39,970 surely, that would paint me in a better light, right? 235 00:09:40,010 --> 00:09:43,051 CHRISTINE: We'll just have to wait and see. 236 00:09:43,090 --> 00:09:45,051 Any news about who might have leaked 237 00:09:45,090 --> 00:09:47,610 the NSA intel in the first place? 238 00:09:47,651 --> 00:09:48,970 JERRY: No, but I've been professionally 239 00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:51,250 interrogating people since I was 9. 240 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:54,090 Mary, I swear to God, this is your last chance. 241 00:09:54,130 --> 00:09:56,730 Are you working for the Russians? 242 00:09:56,771 --> 00:09:58,610 - No. - Right. That's it. 243 00:09:58,651 --> 00:10:01,130 JERRY: I want to waterboard her. Mary, get up here. 244 00:10:01,171 --> 00:10:02,730 Tuva, are you recording all this? 245 00:10:02,771 --> 00:10:04,331 TUVA: Oh, fuck yeah. 246 00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,010 JERRY: OK. No. Turn around. You got to face me. 247 00:10:06,051 --> 00:10:08,531 This isn't an enema. This is serious. 248 00:10:08,571 --> 00:10:11,411 Now lie down flat. 249 00:10:11,451 --> 00:10:14,451 No, face up. Mary, flip over. 250 00:10:14,490 --> 00:10:16,651 Joseph... you know what? yeah, hold her down. 251 00:10:16,691 --> 00:10:19,370 Now, who has a towel? 252 00:10:21,531 --> 00:10:23,691 JOSEPH: OK. Sorry. 253 00:10:23,730 --> 00:10:26,291 OK, so the options are lovely, little bunny rabbit one; 254 00:10:26,331 --> 00:10:28,811 one from the local school; or just a plain, gingham one, 255 00:10:28,850 --> 00:10:30,291 but I don't know if it's clean. 256 00:10:30,331 --> 00:10:32,571 JERRY: Give me that. 257 00:10:32,610 --> 00:10:34,771 - You see the rabbit? - Shut up. 258 00:10:34,811 --> 00:10:36,250 JERRY: OK. Mary, where's your mouth? 259 00:10:36,291 --> 00:10:38,771 - Uh, in here. - OK. Do we have any water? 260 00:10:38,811 --> 00:10:40,291 TUVA: I got some Sprite you can use. 261 00:10:40,331 --> 00:10:41,931 JERRY: No. I don't think it'll work with Sprite. 262 00:10:41,970 --> 00:10:43,931 - It blows me up. - Shut up, Mary! 263 00:10:43,970 --> 00:10:46,331 - Is there water in the flowers? - Do not touch the flowers! 264 00:10:46,370 --> 00:10:48,970 - My God. - Yeah. 265 00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:50,490 JOSEPH: So where do you want this? 266 00:10:50,531 --> 00:10:51,691 JERRY: OK. You know what? Get up here. 267 00:10:51,730 --> 00:10:53,291 - Oh, my God. - All right. 268 00:10:53,331 --> 00:10:55,130 JERRY: You want to position it over her mouth, OK? 269 00:10:55,171 --> 00:10:57,531 - Yeah. - OK. 270 00:10:57,571 --> 00:10:59,811 JERRY: What the fuck are you doing? 271 00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:01,531 JOSEPH: I'm so sorry, Jerry. 272 00:11:01,571 --> 00:11:02,970 It's just really difficult trying to keep it upright. 273 00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:04,651 JERRY: It's supposed to get on her. 274 00:11:04,691 --> 00:11:08,210 I'm being serious, Mary. This is your last chance. 275 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,890 - [WHIMPERING] - OK. 276 00:11:09,931 --> 00:11:11,370 JOSEPH: And I'm aiming for the mouth, yeah? 277 00:11:11,411 --> 00:11:12,531 JERRY: Just pour it on the rabbit. 278 00:11:12,571 --> 00:11:14,771 JOSEPH: Here we go. 279 00:11:14,811 --> 00:11:16,771 - What? Are you kidding? - So sorry, Jerry. 280 00:11:16,811 --> 00:11:18,691 - I'm sorry. That's not clean. - Goddamn it. 281 00:11:18,730 --> 00:11:20,771 JERRY: What? God... All right. You know what? 282 00:11:20,811 --> 00:11:23,531 I'm gonna... OK. Are you good? 283 00:11:23,571 --> 00:11:25,090 - You're good? - Yeah. 284 00:11:25,130 --> 00:11:26,970 JERRY: Go for it. Wait. Let me just adjust your... 285 00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:29,931 - Gah! OK! Are you kidding? - Jerry, I'm so sorry. 286 00:11:29,970 --> 00:11:31,370 CHRISTINE: What the hell's going on? 287 00:11:31,411 --> 00:11:32,931 JERRY: Oh, hey, Chris. 288 00:11:32,970 --> 00:11:35,130 I was just teaching the gang interrogation techniques 289 00:11:35,171 --> 00:11:36,771 in case we find a mole. 290 00:11:36,811 --> 00:11:39,451 CHRISTINE: But Mary is a mole. 291 00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,850 - What? - Sorry. 292 00:11:48,755 --> 00:11:51,004 CHRISTINE: OK. I'm sure you've all got lots of questions. 293 00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:52,941 JERRY: Chris, you got to let me handle this. 294 00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:54,380 CHRISTINE: Absolutely not. Sit down. 295 00:11:54,421 --> 00:11:56,701 I just need you all to listen. It's true. 296 00:11:56,740 --> 00:11:58,500 For a few weeks now, Mary's position here 297 00:11:58,541 --> 00:11:59,781 has been compromised... 298 00:11:59,821 --> 00:12:02,100 JERRY: Son of a bitch! Aah! 299 00:12:02,140 --> 00:12:06,341 CHRISTINE: but only because her mother has been captured 300 00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:08,620 by the Russian mob responsible for last week's attack 301 00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:11,821 and who have been blackmailing Mary for inside intel. 302 00:12:11,860 --> 00:12:13,620 JERRY: Well, I'm very sorry to hear that. 303 00:12:13,661 --> 00:12:15,941 TUVA: I thought your mom passed away. 304 00:12:15,980 --> 00:12:17,581 MARY: Oh, so did I. 305 00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:20,020 [TYPING] 306 00:12:20,821 --> 00:12:22,581 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 307 00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:24,500 [EXHALES] 308 00:12:24,541 --> 00:12:26,061 Hello? 309 00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:29,260 WOMAN: I'm ever so sorry. Your mother's, um... 310 00:12:29,301 --> 00:12:30,341 [GUN COCKS] 311 00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:31,620 passed away. 312 00:12:31,661 --> 00:12:33,620 MOTHER: [MUFFLED] 313 00:12:33,661 --> 00:12:35,061 JERRY: So your mom's still alive? 314 00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:37,301 MARY: Yes, but now they keep threatening 315 00:12:37,341 --> 00:12:39,741 to send one of her fingers through the post. 316 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:41,380 JOSEPH: Why? What's wrong with her fingers? 317 00:12:41,421 --> 00:12:43,740 CHRISTINE: Fortunately... 318 00:12:45,220 --> 00:12:49,100 Fortunately, Mary had the foresight to buy us some time 319 00:12:49,140 --> 00:12:51,740 by sending the Russians a lot of false leads. 320 00:12:51,781 --> 00:12:54,061 TUVA: So Mary's now a double agent? 321 00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,661 CHRISTINE: Technically, she's a triple agent. 322 00:12:55,701 --> 00:12:57,500 JOSEPH: That's right, so we think she's working for us. 323 00:12:57,541 --> 00:12:59,020 The Russian thinks she's working for them, 324 00:12:59,061 --> 00:13:00,500 but really, she's working for someone else. 325 00:13:00,541 --> 00:13:04,020 - No. She's just working for us. - Right. Good. 326 00:13:04,061 --> 00:13:05,740 JOSEPH: How's that different from that she was doing before? 327 00:13:05,781 --> 00:13:06,980 CHRISTINE: Because the Russians believe 328 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,421 she's now working for them. 329 00:13:08,461 --> 00:13:09,980 JOSEPH: That's just two things, isn't it? 330 00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:11,500 CHRISTINE: Listen. All you need to know 331 00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,301 is that we are keeping Mary's cover a secret 332 00:13:13,341 --> 00:13:16,740 so that we can continue to feed the Russians false intel 333 00:13:16,781 --> 00:13:18,661 and, in doing so, hopefully, 334 00:13:18,701 --> 00:13:20,461 prevent a future Eternal Blue attack. 335 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,781 MARY: Plus, I must admit, it's quite nice 336 00:13:22,821 --> 00:13:25,661 for me and Quentin to have a bit of space from Mum, too. 337 00:13:25,701 --> 00:13:27,500 JOSEPH: Oh, so you and Quentin still... 338 00:13:27,541 --> 00:13:29,661 MARY: Yes, every night. 339 00:13:29,701 --> 00:13:31,620 JERRY: Yeah, baby. What stage you at? 340 00:13:31,661 --> 00:13:32,941 - Please don't... - 63. 341 00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:35,140 CHRISTINE: answer that. 342 00:13:35,181 --> 00:13:37,900 JOSEPH: Is that... 343 00:13:39,181 --> 00:13:40,860 JERRY: [MOUTHING] 344 00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:42,581 - Forward. - Aagh! 345 00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:44,541 - Uh! - Ugh! Die! 346 00:13:44,581 --> 00:13:47,020 - Nice shot, soldier. - Targets are coming. 347 00:13:47,061 --> 00:13:49,781 - Cover me. Hah! - Take that. 348 00:13:49,821 --> 00:13:53,140 - Get down. - Take cover. Reloading. 349 00:13:53,181 --> 00:13:55,100 EVELYN: You're fucking kidding me. 350 00:13:55,140 --> 00:13:57,181 - Ugh... - Game over. 351 00:13:57,220 --> 00:13:58,220 EVELYN: Fuck. 352 00:13:58,221 --> 00:13:59,661 [TYPING] 353 00:13:59,701 --> 00:14:02,581 - Tuva, I just want to say... - They weren't from me. 354 00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:04,341 JERRY: No. Sure. 355 00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:06,260 I'm just double-checking with everyone I've ever, you know... 356 00:14:06,301 --> 00:14:08,100 TUVA: Disappointed? 357 00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:10,140 JOSEPH: So do you get paid more for being a triple agent, then? 358 00:14:10,181 --> 00:14:13,701 MARY: No, but I am trying to negotiate more holiday. 359 00:14:13,740 --> 00:14:14,980 JOSEPH: Oh, right, 360 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,181 and the Russians are all right with that? 361 00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:17,941 MARY: No. They were very angry. 362 00:14:17,980 --> 00:14:19,740 JERRY: You know I had a friend who started off 363 00:14:19,781 --> 00:14:24,020 as a triple agent but then went on to become an octuple agent 364 00:14:24,161 --> 00:14:25,500 almost overnight. 365 00:14:25,541 --> 00:14:28,781 JOSEPH: So who did that mean they were working for in the end? 366 00:14:28,821 --> 00:14:31,380 JERRY: Well, they thought that we thought 367 00:14:31,421 --> 00:14:36,740 that they thought that we thought that they thought 368 00:14:36,781 --> 00:14:40,980 that... that... that we... that... 369 00:14:41,020 --> 00:14:44,140 You know, I got to get some water for these. 370 00:14:49,661 --> 00:14:51,380 Hey, how's it going? 371 00:14:51,421 --> 00:14:54,341 WOMAN: So do you want to go out for a drink tonight, then, or what? 372 00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:58,581 JERRY: I mean, that's not why I came to see you, but, yeah, I'm down. 373 00:14:58,620 --> 00:15:00,421 WOMAN: I'll call you back. 374 00:15:00,461 --> 00:15:01,980 [BEEP] 375 00:15:02,020 --> 00:15:06,260 JERRY: Jerry Bernstein, NSA. It's Honey, right? 376 00:15:06,301 --> 00:15:11,421 So I just wanted to warn you about this guy I'm working with. 377 00:15:11,461 --> 00:15:13,980 You might have seen him scampering around. 378 00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:17,661 He's a tiny, little guy, kind of like a Cinnamon Santa, 379 00:15:17,701 --> 00:15:21,260 I mean in terms of disposition, not... 380 00:15:21,301 --> 00:15:24,980 Anyway, I was just wondering how this works. 381 00:15:25,020 --> 00:15:28,380 If he came to you with a sample of handwriting, 382 00:15:28,421 --> 00:15:31,181 how quickly would you be able to work out that it was mine? 383 00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:32,941 HONEY: So you're telling me it's yours. 384 00:15:32,980 --> 00:15:35,900 JERRY: No. No. I was just saying that as an example. 385 00:15:35,941 --> 00:15:38,421 Like, would it help if I provided you 386 00:15:38,461 --> 00:15:41,740 with a sample of my handwriting first just to rule me out? 387 00:15:41,781 --> 00:15:44,020 HONEY: Not if I already know it's yours. 388 00:15:44,061 --> 00:15:48,941 JERRY: Now... sure, but ignoring that... 389 00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:52,140 I wish I'd never said it... how can I help you avoid 390 00:15:52,181 --> 00:15:54,500 coming up with a false conclusion? 391 00:15:54,541 --> 00:15:56,781 HONEY: I'd need to know a bit more info on your background 392 00:15:56,821 --> 00:15:58,781 and see a sample of your handwriting. 393 00:15:58,821 --> 00:16:02,220 JERRY: Absolutely. That's what I thought. 394 00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:21,140 Oh, I'm so sorry I'm late. Couldn't fit in the elevator. 395 00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:23,740 RUPERT: Jerry, just wanted to congratulate you 396 00:16:23,781 --> 00:16:26,181 on the Hinkley Point success last week. 397 00:16:26,220 --> 00:16:28,061 - Great work. - Thanks, Rupert. 398 00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:30,341 JERRY: I can't believe we've never met in the flesh. 399 00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:32,581 RUPERT: Well, I have been in theater these past few weeks. 400 00:16:32,620 --> 00:16:34,100 JERRY: Oh, great. What show? 401 00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:37,181 RUPERT: No. I was in a pony-riding accident. 402 00:16:37,220 --> 00:16:39,900 JERRY: Well, either way, I'm sure it was fantastic. 403 00:16:39,941 --> 00:16:41,581 RUPERT: [CHUCKLES] 404 00:16:41,620 --> 00:16:43,900 Who's the lucky lady or fella? 405 00:16:43,941 --> 00:16:46,821 JERRY: Yeah, right. Right. 406 00:16:46,860 --> 00:16:49,541 I mean... I mean, right. Right. Right on. 407 00:16:49,581 --> 00:16:51,940 I'm actually in touch with thousands of women, 408 00:16:51,981 --> 00:16:54,781 so... who knows? it could be from any or all of them. 409 00:16:54,821 --> 00:16:56,981 RUPERT: Just like a tomb of the unknown soldier. 410 00:16:57,021 --> 00:16:58,860 JERRY: I don't really understand the reference, 411 00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:00,501 but yes, absolutely. 412 00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,180 Thank you. 413 00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:04,140 JOSEPH: Um, hi. Jerry, do you mind if I have a quick... 414 00:17:04,180 --> 00:17:06,860 CHRISTINE: We're busy. What is it? 415 00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:11,021 JOSEPH: Oh, you know, it's fine. I didn't know that you... 416 00:17:11,061 --> 00:17:13,180 RUPERT: Don't be silly. We're all equals here. 417 00:17:13,221 --> 00:17:15,021 - You know, I really should... - Come on. 418 00:17:15,061 --> 00:17:17,100 - Only if you're sure. - Of course. 419 00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:18,860 RUPERT: We even get paid the same. 420 00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:21,940 - Seriously? - No. I earn a lot more. 421 00:17:21,981 --> 00:17:23,581 CHRISTINE: What do you want? 422 00:17:23,620 --> 00:17:25,940 JOSEPH: Oh, um... 423 00:17:25,981 --> 00:17:29,380 [WHISPERS] What do I want? 424 00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:31,620 [NORMAL VOICE] Well, I... 425 00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:35,021 I had some handwriting analysis done 426 00:17:35,061 --> 00:17:38,660 on the Valentine's Day card that I received. 427 00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:40,021 JERRY: What? 428 00:17:40,061 --> 00:17:41,860 CHRISTINE: Sorry. Let me get this straight. 429 00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:45,860 You've been using GCHQ resources funded by the UK taxpayer 430 00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:48,501 to find out who sent you a Valentine's Day card? 431 00:17:48,541 --> 00:17:50,180 JOSEPH: In my defense, that is exactly why 432 00:17:50,221 --> 00:17:52,180 I didn't want to say it in front of you all. 433 00:17:52,221 --> 00:17:54,781 RUPERT: And? 434 00:17:54,821 --> 00:17:56,700 JOSEPH: Oh. Well... 435 00:17:56,741 --> 00:17:58,781 JERRY: No. That's not important. 436 00:17:58,821 --> 00:18:01,620 Shall we continue with our high-profile meeting? 437 00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:03,301 RUPERT: Hang on. You were saying? 438 00:18:03,341 --> 00:18:04,981 JOSEPH: Well, actually, it turned out that it's... 439 00:18:05,021 --> 00:18:06,781 - D'oh! Aagh! - Oh, my God, what's wrong? 440 00:18:06,821 --> 00:18:08,700 - Oww... - Jerry, what's wrong? 441 00:18:08,741 --> 00:18:10,420 - Ooh... - What's wrong? 442 00:18:10,460 --> 00:18:12,940 JERRY: Joseph, could you go... could you go... Could you go? 443 00:18:12,981 --> 00:18:14,380 CHRISTINE: Oh, for heaven's sake, Jerry. 444 00:18:14,420 --> 00:18:16,940 JERRY: OK. Look. I just did it to cheer him up. 445 00:18:16,981 --> 00:18:18,900 - It doesn't mean anything. - What do you mean? 446 00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:20,981 - So it was from you. - Why? 447 00:18:21,021 --> 00:18:22,660 - They used to be married. - Oh. 448 00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:24,660 JERRY: Isn't that what the handwriting analysis showed? 449 00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:28,100 JOSEPH: No. I was about to say the results were inconclusive. 450 00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:30,940 JERRY: Oh, sorry. No. That's what I meant. 451 00:18:30,981 --> 00:18:33,100 I mean, could've been from anyone. Who... 452 00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:36,021 It could've been Chris, could've been Rupert. 453 00:18:36,061 --> 00:18:38,620 RUPERT: Well, I've never met him before, but... 454 00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:41,261 JOSEPH: You swore on my life that it wasn't from you. 455 00:18:41,301 --> 00:18:42,940 JERRY: Eh, don't worry about it, buddy. 456 00:18:42,981 --> 00:18:44,380 It doesn't mean you're actually gonna die. 457 00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:46,501 - I'm sorry about this. - No. This is fun. 458 00:18:46,541 --> 00:18:47,900 JERRY: I thought you'd be pleased. 459 00:18:47,940 --> 00:18:49,021 JOSEPH: Yeah, only because you told me 460 00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,341 it definitely wasn't from you. 461 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,061 JERRY: Oh, well, thank you very much. 462 00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:53,341 JOSEPH: What else was I meant to believe, Jerry? 463 00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:54,781 JERRY: I don't know, maybe that 464 00:18:54,821 --> 00:18:56,180 your mother sent it out of sympathy. 465 00:18:56,221 --> 00:18:57,700 JOSEPH: Well, she died 20 years ago. 466 00:18:57,741 --> 00:18:58,781 JERRY: Maybe she postdated it. Look. 467 00:18:58,821 --> 00:19:00,380 I'll make it up to you, OK? 468 00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:02,261 I'll take you out to dinner, somewhere real fancy. 469 00:19:02,301 --> 00:19:03,781 JOSEPH: You'll take me out for dinner on Valentine's Day? 470 00:19:03,821 --> 00:19:04,981 JERRY: Well, no, obviously not tonight. 471 00:19:05,021 --> 00:19:07,581 - I've got plans. - I don't. 472 00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:09,501 JOSEPH: But you'll take me out at some point, right? 473 00:19:09,541 --> 00:19:11,981 JERRY: Yes, but not because I sent you a Valentine's Day card. 474 00:19:12,021 --> 00:19:13,581 JOSEPH: But you did send me a Valentine's Day card. 475 00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:15,341 JERRY: Yeah, because I wanted you to feel special. 476 00:19:15,380 --> 00:19:16,821 JOSEPH: I'll feel special when you take me out for dinner. 477 00:19:16,860 --> 00:19:18,940 CHRISTINE: Why don't you take him out now? 478 00:19:18,981 --> 00:19:21,180 This meeting is over. 479 00:19:21,221 --> 00:19:22,620 JERRY: Mm. 480 00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:26,301 RUPERT: Have you been wearing that all this time? 481 00:19:31,301 --> 00:19:34,420 - Good night, Jacinda. - Good night. 482 00:19:36,021 --> 00:19:37,900 - Joseph... - Yes? 483 00:19:37,940 --> 00:19:39,460 CHRISTINE: it pains me to have to say this, 484 00:19:39,501 --> 00:19:41,620 but I'm seriously starting to call into question 485 00:19:41,660 --> 00:19:44,221 your position here at GCHQ. 486 00:19:44,261 --> 00:19:45,981 Do you understand? 487 00:19:46,021 --> 00:19:48,420 JOSEPH: Yes. Yeah, absolutely, and listen. 488 00:19:48,460 --> 00:19:50,341 I just wanted to let you know I'm well aware 489 00:19:50,380 --> 00:19:52,940 that we keep having these kind of conversations every week now, 490 00:19:52,981 --> 00:19:54,981 but I promise you, it won't happen again. 491 00:19:55,021 --> 00:19:57,061 CHRISTINE: It better not. 492 00:19:57,100 --> 00:20:00,180 JOSEPH: At least Valentine's Day is only once a year. 493 00:20:00,221 --> 00:20:02,541 CHRISTINE: This is your final warning. 494 00:20:02,581 --> 00:20:04,741 - Do you hear? - Yeah. 495 00:20:04,781 --> 00:20:07,261 CHRISTINE: Handwriting analysis. 496 00:20:07,301 --> 00:20:11,741 I mean, who else did you think it was from? 497 00:20:11,781 --> 00:20:14,380 JOSEPH: Princess Jasmine. 498 00:20:19,620 --> 00:20:21,860 [STATIC] 499 00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:23,821 JERRY: Hmm. 500 00:20:23,860 --> 00:20:27,860 [CELL PHONE VIBRATES] 501 00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:30,180 - Hi, Ma. - Hi, sweetie. 502 00:20:30,221 --> 00:20:33,100 - Happy Valentine's Day. - You, too. 503 00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:35,460 MA: Did you get my flowers? 504 00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:37,700 NOEL COWARD: ? Hooray, hooray, hooray ? 505 00:20:37,741 --> 00:20:39,380 ? Misery's on the way ? 506 00:20:39,420 --> 00:20:43,180 ? There are bad times just around the corner ? 507 00:20:43,221 --> 00:20:47,061 ? There are dark clouds hurtling through the sky ? 508 00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:49,221 ? It's as clear as crystal ? 509 00:20:49,261 --> 00:20:51,180 ? From Bridlington to Bristol ? 510 00:20:51,221 --> 00:20:55,021 ? That we can't save democracy and we don't much care ? 511 00:20:55,061 --> 00:20:56,981 ? We'd better all learn the lyrics ? 512 00:20:57,021 --> 00:20:58,940 ? Of the old "Red Flag" ? 513 00:20:58,981 --> 00:20:59,981 ? And wait until we drop down dead ? 514 00:21:05,032 --> 00:21:09,582 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39797

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