All language subtitles for Dog.With.A.Blog.S03E07_English

( Stan howling )

What's up with all the howling, Stan?

I didn't hear any sirens
and the moon isn't full.

And you finished filming your reality show
So You Think You Can Howl.

No, I'm serenading my girlfriend
Princess through the fence.

This is the only way we can communicate

since her mean owner Heather
insists on keeping us apart.

You know, the real fun part of my show was

watching all the dogs who think
they can howl... but can't.

( laughing )

So I haven't heard Princess howl back.

I know. She hasn't returned
any of my howls in days.

So she's either gotten bored with me,

or she's off on some secret spy mission

to save the planet from the evil Dr. Cat.

Probably not even a real doctor.

Probably got his doctorate
in feline studies.

That's not even a real major!

With Nikki in El Salvador,
I know how you feel being apart.

Even texting is hard because
they charge by the letter.

"I-L-U."

Mommy said they don't charge
by the letter, they charge by the text.

Oh, let me resend that.

"I lost underwear."

Long distance relationships are tough.

Mason got moved to
the other side of the classroom.

Now to see each other,

we pretend we have to go to
the bathroom at the same time.

Well, I pretend.
He can go anytime he wants.

What a guy.

Look, I'm just worried about Princess.
I hope nothing bad happened to her.

Well, dogs always bark
when the mailman comes.

Why don't I just go over,
pretend to be the mailman,

and see if she barks at me?

Ha! That's ridiculous.

No one would ever believe
you as a mailman.

I'm a mailman.

Stan: When I rang the doorbell,
Princess barked,

which means she isn't saving
the planet from Dr. Cat,

which means I can't say
my Dr. Cat graphic novel

is based on a true story.

It also means Princess is not answering
my howls for some other reason.

And to make matters worse,
I wasted the whole afternoon.

Get the mailman! Get the mailman!
Get the mailman!

( theme music playing )

-Guys, guess what!
-Seventeen.

No. I've been designing outfits
nonstop since lunch.

Someday 17 is gonna be right
and I am going to blow minds.

Wow, that dress you made is amazing.

Ever since we took that Life Skills class,
that's all you've been thinking about.

I know. I've been bitten
by the fashion bug.

And now I have super fashion powers.

Thank you, fashion bug.

I really love these.
Would you make me an outfit?

Here you go.

How'd you know I was going to ask that?

Super fashion powers!
And I just figured you'd want one.

I love my dress!
Can I give you some money for it?

Well, now that you mention it,
the material was pretty expensive and--

I've insulted you.
I'll never bring up money again.

Well, I'm so glad you like it.

Max, what do you think?

I'd be happy to make one for you.

Look, Avery, as much
as I like your clothes,

they're just not for me.

I mean, this dress screams Lindsay.

I'd prefer something that actually screams
"To go with this bag."

( screaming )

Shh.

What are you working
on over there, sweetie?

I've been bitten by the fashion bug.

Now I have super fashion powers.

Avery, you're not supposed
to tell the people

you love about your secret powers.

Now I'm always going to be in danger.

Ooh, fun! Thanks for playing along.

Here's the cool part.

I've started making outfits
for other people besides me.

Ta-da!

So... what do you think?

I really like it.

I'd have to say I like it
whether I did or not,

but I really like it,

so I don't have to say it with my voice
[high-pitched] going like this.

Thanks for making it for me, hon.
I haven't had a strip of film around me

since my ill-fated stint
as a projectionist.

I lost a whole reel of
Romancing the Stone.

I gotta hand it to you guys.

You're so adventurous with your clothes.

I'm not big on trying new things.

What do you mean?
You try new stuff all the time.

You never used to eat kale.

( gibbers )

I don't eat kale.

Ellen, do I eat kale?
Have you been slipping me kale?

Okay, I'll let you two discuss this.
I have a lot of...

You have been putting kale
into my romaine lettuce bag?

I thought I was eating romaine lettuce!

What is the big deal? Romaine lettuce
is 90% of the way to eating kale.

And I guess the other 10% is lies!

What else have you tricked me into trying?

Nothing much. Just crafting mosaic tables,
decorative sponge painting,

dream boards, making yogurt,
collecting sea glass,

marrying me, whale watching,
and documentaries.

If I'm trying all these
new things for you,

maybe it's time for to you try
a few things that I like...

Wait a minute, did you say, "marrying me?"

Yup. And you said, "I do."

Gotcha!

And when did I ever make yogurt?

Tomorrow. You'll love it, you'll see.

That is so awesome.
I'll start making your outfits right away.

You're going to love them.

Lindsay, Courtney and Mandy
asked me to make outfits for them, too!

My super fashion power
is becoming so strong.

Soon I'll need a sidekick
to keep me humble.

Hat Girl!

That's great, Avery.
I mean, not the super fashion powers thing

'cause we're all getting
kind of tired of that,

but I'm glad people like your clothes.

-Uh, one thing though.
-Yeah.

Courtney asked if I make stuff for you,
why don't I make stuff for Max?

And Mandy said,
"'Cause obviously Max is weird."

Do people think Max is weird?

Avery, we think Max is weird.

She intentionally guesses
the wrong letters on Hangman

just to see stick man swing.

Yeah, but that's fun-weird, not bad-weird.

Like the way she answers
her phone by saying,

"I'm in your house."

I tried to tell Courtney
and Mandy how cool she is,

they said, "Just look at her."

Yeah, I've heard
other people talk about Max.

I'm worried about her, too.
We're in high school now.

When people get reputations, they stick.

Max is our friend.
She may think my clothes aren't for her,

but they could help people
start to see her as the smart,

funny, and creative Max that we know.

The Max who has a sign
on her bedroom door that says,

"Abandon all hope ye who enter here."

I have to convince her
to let me make her an outfit.

She already said no.

Well, then I'll have to find
a way to change her mind.

Until then, let's just play it cool.

-Hey, guys.
-Both: Nothing!

You guys are weird.

-( cell phone ringing )
-Hold on, I've gotta take this.

I'm in your house.

♪ Fell in love with a princess,
da-na, na-na ♪

♪ From the moment we met, da-na, na-na ♪

♪ Now living without her, da-na, na-na ♪

♪ It's like a trip to the vet ♪

What's the matter, Stan?
You got the blues?

Yes, literally.

Did you not just hear
all that "da-na, na-na"?

When I'm sad, I pet my dog.

But I am the dog. I can't do that.

That makes me sad.

All better. You should get a dog.

Stan, look. Isn't that Princess?

♪ Ah, sweet mystery of life
at last I've found you ♪

♪ Da-na, na-na ♪

That's the only riff I know.
I don't play a lot of guitar.

Hey, she's not with her mean owner.

She's with a dog walker.
This could be your chance.

But what if she's no longer interested?

Oh, I'm so nervous. How do I play it?

Just go over there and be cool.

Like, "'Sup, how you been?"

And you definitely don't want to be like,

"Why you been ducking my howls?"

Or you could do a big, romantic gesture

like hitting her with spitballs.

Uh, Chloe, spitballs aren't romantic.

They aren't? Oh, I am so mad at Mason.

All right, guys, I'm going in.

How's my breath? ( exhales )

-Ugh! Stinks.
-Ew!

Fantastic. Wish me luck.

What? Is that why
Princess has been avoiding me?

'Cause she's seeing that fancy dude?

Whoa, she's licking his ear.
That's our thing!

You know, I've seen that dog
around here somewhere.

Yeah, that's Fernando.
He's a show dog like Princess.

He's won Most Likely to Steal
Another Dog's Girlfriend

three years running.

How am I gonna compete with that?

Even his name is romantic...

( as Zorro ) Fernando.

You can't give up, Stan.
You're as good as he is.

No, I'm not as good as he is.

But you know who is?

The debonair dog I shall become.

( as Zorro ) Stan-ando.

We will make me over into the most suave,
well-groomed, romantic dog on this planet.

-Stan, I don't know if--
-Please. Say it with me.

All: Stan-ando.

Just because you're doing a Spanish accent
doesn't mean you have to act like Zorro.

( as Zorro ) I did not know this.

Are you sure performing a play for Max

is the best way to convince her
to wear your clothes?

We spent all night writing, rehearsing,

printing playbills and invited Max over,

and this is the first time
you're bringing that up?

It just occurred to me.

Guys, what are you doing back there?

I'm alone with my thoughts,
and that's never a good thing.

And now presenting Avery and Lindsay in...

A New Dress For Max.

If you stop this right now,
you can make an outfit for me.

Yes! That is the power
of theater, Lindsay.

Okay, since I've been unwittingly
trying new things for you,

today you are gonna try
something new for me.

Absolutely, honey.
Whatever it is, I know I'll love it.

This is your day.

Well, really your hour.
We have Pilates at 4:00. So, tick-tock.

We are going to eat... hot wings.

Bennett, you know
I'm hyper-sensitive to spicy foods.

That's because you haven't
built up a tolerance.

Now I have three plates here:

extra hot, medium, and little wingman,

something so mild it's typically
eaten by four-year-olds.

Well, I can probably handle that.

Waa...

Sweet Vulcan's hammer!
Are these four-year-old dragons?

Oh. Okay, honey, don't get mad,

but I think I switched the plates

and you just ate the extra hot.

What have you done to me?

No, no, no, honey,
water just makes it worse!

Why did you even put water out here?

Well, you still need eight glasses a day.

It's the dairy in the ranch dressing

that neutralizes the spice in the wings.

It's not working. It's worse!

Oh, you know what?

This is my homemade
super spicy horseradish sauce.

Why is that even out here?

I like to dip my celery in it.

The ranch dressing is so bland.

This is the ranch dressing, right?

I-I think so, honey,
but let me just be sure.

Yep, that is definitely ranch dressing.

But I think it's expired.

Max, are you ready? Can I come in?

Oh, my gosh, Max.

Is it that bad?

You look incredible!

( laughs )

Really incredible.

I never expected to say this,
but I really like it.

Thank you so much, Avery.

I knew if you just tried it,
you'd like it.

And I should be thanking you, Max.

You combined two of my favorite things:

helping my friends and being right.

Well, I'd better get going.

My Sarcasm Club is meeting now.

They said they'd be really upset
if I couldn't make it.

I never know how to take that.

Well, I'm just so glad this worked out.
Have fun.

Super Fashion Girl strikes again.

Yeah, I see why people
are getting tired of that.

Oh, hey, Max, you forgot your phone!

Hey, who was the girl who just left?

Max.

Look, if you don't want
to tell me, just say so.

I'm trying to catch her,
she forgot her phone.

What are you doing?

Hey.

Oh, hey, Max.

Why are you covering up
the outfit I made you?

I thought you liked it.

I'm sorry, Avery.

I didn't want to hurt your feelings,

but the clothes you made just aren't me.

We're in high school now.

Don't you think it's time for a change?

I like the way I look.

Then why did you agree
to have me make you this outfit

that I worked on all night?

Because when I said no,
you wouldn't listen.

You wrote a stupid play.

I know how you are,

I could see you weren't
going to leave me alone about it.

I was trying to help you!

I thought you wanted to change my clothes,
but you want to change me!

Yes, for the better!

Maybe I need better friends.

You ready for your makeover, Stan?

( as Zorro ) Stan-ando.

You've got the accent,

but if you want to win Princess
back from that show dog,

you're gonna have to become a show dog.

There's only one person
who can help you do that.

( British accent )
Mrs. Grimmons at your service.

That's right, Chloe's imaginary character

is going to transform
your imaginary character.

There's no way this plan can fail.

Note the insouciant swagger,

the confidence that comes
from a place of ignorance.

Chloe, how do you know those big words?

Avery writes a lot of
Mrs. Grimmons' material.

Makin' me smell pretty.

And don't forget the moneymaker.

Ooh, that feels pretty good back there.

It does, doesn't it?

I always say it but no one listens to me.

( normal accent )
I heard you, and I'm all about it.

( British accent )
Chloe, please! Some decorum.

Okay, Stan. I took my hair dryer
and modified it.

By removing three hair dryers.

Just don't put it
on the highest setting, or...

( switch clicks )

Well, this is a sticky wicket.

( switch clicks )

All right, Stan.
Get ready to look beautiful.

Both: He's ready.

I'm beautiful.

Well, my work here is done.

Cheerio.

Goodbye, Mrs. Grimmons!

Bye, Mrs. Grimmons, come back again soon.

Why am I doing this?

Bennett, this is so scary!

I don't want to do
any more things you want to do.

I didn't want to do this either!

We were taking a flying lesson
but you were screaming so much

the pilot kicked us out of the plane!

Yeah, we really should report him,
'cause that just seems wrong.

Well, at least he gave us the parachutes.

No, he gave me a parachute.

I had to do a lot of talking
to get you yours.

Okay, Stan-ando, there's Princess.

She's with Fernando,
but you can lure her away.

If I've learned anything
from the movies I've watched,

it's that being attractive
is all that matters.

Or being a vampire.

( as Zorro )
Stan-ando has this under his control.

He will strut with the confidence of--

Gopher!

-Stan!
-Wait!

( Stan barking )

Stan, you're a mess.

And your hair is all ruined.

What was I thinking?

There's no way Princess
is gonna want me now.

Stan, look, she's coming over.

Look at that, Stan. She likes you for you.

You didn't need to become Stan-ando.

When she was separated
from you for so long,

she probably just forgot
about you. Dogs do that.

Dogs don't forget about things. Uh-oh.

What? I forgot about something.

Whew. Almost burned my banana bread.

Something smells really good.

And that's how I learned that
cornichon is a kind of pickle.

Thank goodness you're back.

The conversation was
really starting to lag.

Thanks for everything, guys.

Now if you'll excuse me.

So tell me, my darling,

do you prefer the front
or back end of the gopher?

It's not a deal breaker either way.

Adios, Stan-ando.

( British accent ) He was
the second best student I've ever had.

Mm. Thank you, Mrs. Grimmons.

I can't believe how ungrateful Max was.

That's what I get for trying to help.

Well, some people are
just not appreciative.

Like when I made banana bread

and Bennett and Ellen
didn't save me a piece.

And she accused me of being a bad friend.

I'm the one who's protecting her.

Oh, did you tell her about the other girls
calling her weird?

No. That's how good a friend I am.

I protected her from that.

And what's so bad about
changing how you dress?

I used to wear ties, now I don't.

Oh, I thought you stopped wearing them
'cause everywhere you went,

people kept asking you
if you worked there.

That was only part of it.

There's nothing wrong
with evolving your look.

Well, there's also nothing wrong
with being who you are.

You may have gotten rid of your ties,
but you never stopped studying,

even when people gave you a hard time
for being a good student.

Wow.

I never thought about it that way.

Look, I tried to change
who I was for Princess.

And you realized
if she doesn't like who you are,

then she's not the one for you.

Oh, no, I'd change for her in a second.

But it turns out she likes the way I am.

So my thing worked out.
Good luck with yours.

So I guess you heard about
what happened yesterday.

You mean about Avery's parents
being rushed to the hospital

after eating bad banana bread?

No, about what happened
between me and Avery.

She was way out of line.

Well, you can't blame her
for wanting to protect you

from what all those girls were saying.

What were they saying?

Oh, she didn't tell you?

Then, neither did I.

Everybody, listen up!

I'm Avery and I'm proud to say
that Max is my friend.

Does she dress in black?

Yes, she does.

Does she collect broken piñata heads
from other people's parties?

Yes, she does.

And if anyone thinks
we're weird, we don't care.

And if you go around
calling other people weird,

you're the ones who look bad.

But you won't look bad in these
outfits you ordered from me.

Hope you enjoy them.

The point is, it's okay to be different.

Max, I'm so sorry that
I tried to change you.

I know now you were just trying to help.

So what do you think?

You don't look like you.

I know. I look ridiculous.

I meant you look like me.

Exactly.

Not ridiculous, I just don't look like me.

And I can't get my purse to sound right.

( high-pitched ) Hello, I missed you.

Put your hand in me.

You are so weird.

Stan: Bennett and Ellen learned...
( reading )

Now things are great with Princess and me.

In fact, we had a gopher for dinner.

Howard's a great guy.

The three of us are renting a cabin
next week at Lake Arrowhead.

Howard's got a jet ski.

( music playing )

( boing )