All language subtitles for Dog.With.A.Blog.S02E04_English

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified) Download
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,083 --> 00:00:04,963 YOU WANT IT, BOY? YOU WANT IT? YOU WANNA GET IT? YOU WANT THE BALL? 2 00:00:05,041 --> 00:00:06,291 AVERY, THINK FAST! 3 00:00:08,667 --> 00:00:09,747 I SAID THINK FAST. 4 00:00:09,834 --> 00:00:11,924 THINKING HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CATCHING. 5 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,290 WHICH IS WHAT I WAS THINKING 6 00:00:13,375 --> 00:00:15,995 WHEN THE BALL CAME HURTLING AT ME AT AN OUTDOOR SPEED. 7 00:00:17,875 --> 00:00:20,205 OKAY, ARE WE READY TO TAKE STAN TO THE VET FOR HIS CHECK-UP? 8 00:00:20,291 --> 00:00:21,381 WHAT? 9 00:00:21,834 --> 00:00:24,464 YOU GUYS! DON'T USE THE "V" WORD AROUND HIM. 10 00:00:24,542 --> 00:00:25,792 YOU'RE FREAKING HIM OUT. 11 00:00:25,875 --> 00:00:29,075 COME ON, KIDS, IT'S NOT LIKE STAN UNDERSTANDS WHAT WE'RE SAYING. 12 00:00:29,166 --> 00:00:33,036 YOU DON'T SPEAK HUMAN DO YOU? YOU SPEAK DOG! WOOF, WOOF! 13 00:00:33,125 --> 00:00:34,745 PLEASE, ELLEN, THAT'S JUST GIBBERISH. 14 00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:36,504 I DON'T KNOW WHETHER THERE'S SOMEONE AT THE DOOR 15 00:00:36,583 --> 00:00:38,133 OR YOU'RE HUNGRY OR WHAT. 16 00:00:39,166 --> 00:00:41,916 YOU KNOW, STAN UNDERSTANDS A LOT MORE THAN YOU THINK. 17 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:42,960 JUST LIKE TYLER. 18 00:00:43,750 --> 00:00:45,630 I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO INSULT ME, 19 00:00:45,709 --> 00:00:47,959 BUT I'M VERY COMFORTABLE WITH HOW LITTLE I UNDERSTAND. 20 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,003 I KNOW, SON. WE'VE ALL SEEN YOUR TEST SCORES. 21 00:00:53,542 --> 00:00:54,792 LOOK, WE'LL JUST TRICK STAN 22 00:00:54,875 --> 00:00:57,285 BY TELLING HIM THAT WE'RE GOING FOR A WALK IN THE PARK. 23 00:00:57,375 --> 00:00:59,285 COME ON, STAN, LET'S GO TO THE PARK! 24 00:00:59,375 --> 00:01:02,825 YEP, VACCINATION PARK ON NEEDLE BOULEVARD. 25 00:01:04,125 --> 00:01:05,625 NOT HELPING! 26 00:01:05,709 --> 00:01:07,169 (music playing in distance over speaker) 27 00:01:07,250 --> 00:01:08,880 SMOOTHIE TRUCK! 28 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:10,709 SMOOTHIE TRUCK! CAN I GET ONE? 29 00:01:10,792 --> 00:01:13,582 CHLOE, YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH THOSE SMOOTHIES! 30 00:01:13,917 --> 00:01:15,497 I'M NOT HURTING ANYONE! 31 00:01:17,458 --> 00:01:19,748 SORRY, IT'S BEEN TWO HOURS SINCE MY LAST SMOOTHIE. 32 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:22,879 WELL, THEY ARE HEALTHY. WHAT SHOULD WE GET? 33 00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:26,919 BANANA BLITZKRIEG? A DAY AT THE PEACH? STRAWBERRIED ALIVE? 34 00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:28,383 NONE OF THEM ARE CALLED THAT. 35 00:01:28,458 --> 00:01:29,288 WELL, THEY SHOULD BE. 36 00:01:31,750 --> 00:01:33,670 NO WAY THEY'RE TAKING ME TO THE VET! 37 00:01:33,750 --> 00:01:35,710 NO, STAN. THEY WERE JUST KIDDING AROUND. 38 00:01:36,125 --> 00:01:38,745 WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU'RE WAY TOO SMART TO FALL FOR THOSE SILLY TRICKS. 39 00:01:38,834 --> 00:01:41,834 AH, OF COURSE I AM. THANK YOU, AVERY. 40 00:01:41,917 --> 00:01:44,577 TRUTH IS WE'RE GOING TO THE HOUSE OF SMELLY SHOES! 41 00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:46,747 YES! HOW AWESOME IS THAT? 42 00:01:47,667 --> 00:01:49,577 WHY DO I KEEP FALLING FOR THIS? 43 00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:53,250 I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS BETRAYAL, AVERY. 44 00:01:53,333 --> 00:01:54,173 SMELLY SHOE? 45 00:01:54,250 --> 00:01:55,960 YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN GOOD TO ME. 46 00:01:57,959 --> 00:02:00,499 (theme music playing) 47 00:02:17,041 --> 00:02:18,881 HEY, GOOD TO SEE YOU GUYS. 48 00:02:19,250 --> 00:02:21,880 Stan: DR. YOUNG. HE'S A LAUGH-A-MINUTE. 49 00:02:22,458 --> 00:02:25,918 NOW, WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE DOG? (laughs) 50 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,880 I DIDN'T SAY HE WAS FUNNY. HE JUST LAUGHS EVERY MINUTE. 51 00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,963 (laughs) 52 00:02:33,458 --> 00:02:35,958 OH, THAT THING WHERE YOU SAY WHICH ONE OF US IS THE DOG, 53 00:02:36,041 --> 00:02:37,381 THAT NEVER GETS OLD! 54 00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:39,668 JUST LIKE YOU, DR. YOUNG. 55 00:02:39,750 --> 00:02:40,630 (both laugh) 56 00:02:41,542 --> 00:02:44,502 HEY, ARE YOU REMEMBERING TO BREATHE LIKE WE TALKED ABOUT, CHLOE? 57 00:02:44,583 --> 00:02:45,923 YOUR FACE IS BRIGHT RED. 58 00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:49,915 UGH. THERE'S A BANANA WAD STUCK IN THE STRAW. 59 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,210 WHY YOU GOTTA DO ME LIKE THAT, BANANAS? 60 00:02:54,291 --> 00:02:57,831 SO, LET'S START THE EXAMINATION. OPEN UP. 61 00:02:58,417 --> 00:03:00,997 (laughs) TYLER, HE MEANS YOU! 62 00:03:02,959 --> 00:03:03,999 I'M NOT THE DOG. 63 00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:06,793 (gasps) DO YOU KNOW YOUR DOG CAN TALK? 64 00:03:06,875 --> 00:03:07,705 (laughs) 65 00:03:08,417 --> 00:03:09,877 (laughs) THAT'S HILARIOUS. 66 00:03:09,959 --> 00:03:11,579 IT'S A JOKE. WHO TOLD YOU? 67 00:03:13,875 --> 00:03:15,745 OKAY, NOW IT'S REALLY TIME TO START THE EXAMINATION. 68 00:03:16,083 --> 00:03:17,713 LET'S GET DOWN TO THE BORING PART. 69 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,040 AH, DON'T SELL YOURSELF SHORT. I'VE BEEN BORED SINCE I GOT HERE. 70 00:03:22,709 --> 00:03:26,079 OH, BY THE WAY, DR. YOUNG, I BROUGHT YOU A... 71 00:03:26,166 --> 00:03:27,876 "STOOL SAMPLE." 72 00:03:27,959 --> 00:03:29,669 (both laugh) 73 00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:32,960 WE ALL HAD TO JAM IN THE CAR SO SHE COULD DO THAT JOKE. 74 00:03:35,166 --> 00:03:38,286 TIME FOR YOUR BOOSTER SHOT. THIS WON'T HURT AT ALL... 75 00:03:38,375 --> 00:03:39,575 WON'T HURT ME! 76 00:03:39,667 --> 00:03:41,167 (both laugh) 77 00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:43,830 HE'S SO FUNNY! IT'S LIKE A COMEDY CLUB IN HERE! 78 00:03:43,917 --> 00:03:45,327 NOT REALLY LAUGH-OUT-LOUD FUNNY. 79 00:03:45,417 --> 00:03:46,877 YOU JUST DON'T APPRECIATE COMEDY LIKE I DO. 80 00:03:46,959 --> 00:03:47,789 OW! 81 00:03:47,875 --> 00:03:49,535 YOU'RE JEALOUS OF THE COMEDIAN RAPPORT WE HAVE. 82 00:03:50,083 --> 00:03:50,923 WHAT WAS THAT? 83 00:03:51,917 --> 00:03:52,747 -THAT WAS ME. -MY BAD. 84 00:03:52,834 --> 00:03:53,754 I BELCHED. 85 00:03:55,792 --> 00:03:58,752 WE'RE ALL VERY CLOSE TO STAN. WE HAVE A VERY DEEP CONNECTION. 86 00:03:58,834 --> 00:04:00,544 I BELCH LIKE A SEA LION. 87 00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:04,747 STAN LOOKS GREAT FOR HIS AGE. 88 00:04:04,834 --> 00:04:07,464 HE'S GOT AT LEAST ANOTHER 63 YEARS LEFT IN HIM. 89 00:04:07,542 --> 00:04:10,422 YOU KNOW, THAT MAKES SENSE. I EAT RIGHT, I EXERCISE. 90 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,540 OF COURSE, THAT'S ONLY NINE HUMAN YEARS. 91 00:04:12,625 --> 00:04:16,535 WHAT? WHY DID I WASTE SO MUCH TIME EATING RIGHT AND EXERCISING? 92 00:04:18,417 --> 00:04:20,207 ONLY NINE MORE YEARS? 93 00:04:20,291 --> 00:04:21,831 I HAD NO IDEA. 94 00:04:21,917 --> 00:04:24,627 I HAVE SO LITTLE TIME LEFT AND WHAT HAVE I ACCOMPLISHED? 95 00:04:24,709 --> 00:04:25,579 LOOK AT THIS DOG. 96 00:04:25,667 --> 00:04:27,787 (upbeat music playing) 97 00:04:27,875 --> 00:04:29,625 HE'S DONE SO MUCH WITH HIS LIFE. 98 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,960 NINE YEARS, AVERY. NINE YEARS. 99 00:04:36,417 --> 00:04:37,627 I'M REALLY SORRY, STAN. 100 00:04:38,125 --> 00:04:39,625 I MEAN, I UNDERSTAND WHY IT UPSETS YOU. 101 00:04:39,709 --> 00:04:41,709 BUT DO YOU REALLY WANT TO SPEND THOSE NINE YEARS 102 00:04:41,792 --> 00:04:43,542 WORRYING ABOUT HOW LITTLE TIME YOU HAVE LEFT? 103 00:04:43,667 --> 00:04:45,667 NO. I'D LIKE TO SPEND 200 YEARS 104 00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:47,710 WORRYING ABOUT HOW LITTLE TIME I HAVE LEFT. 105 00:04:48,917 --> 00:04:51,827 YOU HAVE A GREAT LIFE. YOU'RE WORRYING ABOUT THIS TOO MUCH. 106 00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:54,457 -AM I, AVERY? AM I? -YES. 107 00:04:54,542 --> 00:04:56,002 OH, I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT CHANGE YOUR POSITION 108 00:04:56,083 --> 00:04:57,673 BECAUSE I SEEMED SO EMPHATIC. 109 00:04:59,125 --> 00:05:01,245 DID YOU, STAN? DID YOU? 110 00:05:01,583 --> 00:05:03,043 NOW THAT'S HOW YOU DO EMPHATIC. 111 00:05:04,208 --> 00:05:05,748 THAT WAS GOOD! 112 00:05:05,834 --> 00:05:08,544 SEE, YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT THINGS YOU'LL BE REMEMBERED FOR. 113 00:05:08,625 --> 00:05:09,875 BUT WHAT ABOUT ME? 114 00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:11,789 ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT LEAVING A LEGACY? 115 00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:16,075 YES, I WANT TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING THAT'LL LIVE AFTER ME. BUT WHAT? 116 00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:20,248 WELL, THIS STAIN ON THE CARPET SURE LOOKS LIKE IT'LL BE HERE FOREVER. 117 00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:25,916 AND DON'T THINK I'M NOT PROUD OF THAT. 118 00:05:27,667 --> 00:05:29,957 BUT SOMEHOW, IT'S JUST NOT ENOUGH. 119 00:05:30,041 --> 00:05:32,381 WHY DON'T YOU TAKE UP PAINTING LIKE I HAVE, STAN? 120 00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:35,495 A LOT OF FAMOUS PAINTERS ARE REMEMBERED FOR THEIR ART. 121 00:05:36,041 --> 00:05:37,711 AVERY, I COULD PAINT MY WHOLE LIFE AND NEVER TOP 122 00:05:37,792 --> 00:05:38,712 WHAT I DID ON YOUR CARPET. 123 00:05:40,458 --> 00:05:42,958 WHY DON'T OTHER DOGS WORRY ABOUT HOW MUCH TIME THEY HAVE? 124 00:05:43,041 --> 00:05:44,581 THEY'RE NOT LIKE YOU. 125 00:05:44,667 --> 00:05:46,247 YOU'RE THE ONLY TALKING DOG. 126 00:05:46,792 --> 00:05:49,542 WAIT, THAT'S IT! THAT'S MY LEGACY! 127 00:05:50,125 --> 00:05:52,075 OKAY, EVERYONE'S ASLEEP. 128 00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:55,540 TIME TO RECORD MY LEGACY FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS. 129 00:05:56,083 --> 00:05:59,003 (laughs) AH... 130 00:05:59,083 --> 00:06:01,383 OH, HELLO, WORLD. I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE. 131 00:06:02,834 --> 00:06:04,424 I'M STAN. (clicks tongue) 132 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:06,710 THE FIRST EVER TALKING DOG. 133 00:06:11,709 --> 00:06:13,709 OKAY, IF EVERYONE IS DONE FREAKING OUT 134 00:06:13,792 --> 00:06:17,252 OVER THE FACT THAT I AM THE WORLD'S FIRST TALKING DOG... 135 00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:19,133 MY PORPOISE IN DOING THIS... 136 00:06:19,417 --> 00:06:21,877 WAIT, DID I... DID I JUST SAY "PORPOISE"? 137 00:06:22,375 --> 00:06:24,785 I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT. 138 00:06:24,875 --> 00:06:27,785 (laughs) PORPOISE? 139 00:06:27,875 --> 00:06:33,125 (makes porpoise sounds) 140 00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:35,040 PORPOISE. THAT'S SILLY. 141 00:06:36,458 --> 00:06:39,998 MY PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE CAN BE SUMMED UP WITH THESE WORDS... 142 00:06:40,083 --> 00:06:41,833 (cat yowls) 143 00:06:41,959 --> 00:06:44,709 AS I WAS SAYING, MY PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE... 144 00:06:44,792 --> 00:06:45,832 (cat yowls) 145 00:06:45,917 --> 00:06:47,037 (clears throat) 146 00:06:47,125 --> 00:06:49,955 EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO PUT THE OW IN MEOW. 147 00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,330 -BENNETT, AM I CRAZY... -YES. 148 00:06:58,792 --> 00:07:00,252 YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH. 149 00:07:00,333 --> 00:07:03,503 AM I CRAZY FOR THINKING IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA IF I GOT A JOB? 150 00:07:04,041 --> 00:07:06,581 NO, OF COURSE NOT. I THINK THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL. 151 00:07:06,667 --> 00:07:09,457 GREAT, BECAUSE OUR VET, DR. YOUNG, IS LOOKING FOR AN ASSISTANT. 152 00:07:09,542 --> 00:07:11,672 OH, THEN I'M BACK TO "YOU'RE CRAZY." 153 00:07:12,542 --> 00:07:13,382 WHY? 154 00:07:14,375 --> 00:07:16,625 HONEY, YOU ARE TERRIBLE WITH ANIMALS. 155 00:07:17,083 --> 00:07:20,463 WHAT? MY TEXT TONE IS A DUCK. 156 00:07:20,542 --> 00:07:21,792 (quacking) 157 00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:26,128 HONEY, I DID NOT SAY YOU'RE TERRIBLE WITH ANIMAL SOUNDS. 158 00:07:26,208 --> 00:07:28,458 I SAID YOU'RE TERRIBLE WITH ANIMALS. 159 00:07:29,291 --> 00:07:31,041 REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU GOT A BIRD? 160 00:07:32,917 --> 00:07:34,497 COME HERE, LUCY. COME TO MOMMY. 161 00:07:34,583 --> 00:07:36,633 -(squawks) -PROTECT YOUR EYES! 162 00:07:40,333 --> 00:07:42,423 ISN'T SHE THE CUTEST, SWEETEST THING? 163 00:07:44,250 --> 00:07:46,500 OH, SHE HAD A LITTLE ACCIDENT ON MY HEAD AGAIN. 164 00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,167 NOPE, FALSE ALARM. JUST BLOOD. 165 00:07:51,083 --> 00:07:52,963 IT'S FUNNY, SHE THINKS I'M A FIELD MOUSE. 166 00:07:54,792 --> 00:07:56,672 THE DOCTOR DEALS WITH THE ANIMALS. 167 00:07:56,750 --> 00:07:58,580 I'LL BE DEALING WITH THE PEOPLE THAT COME IN. 168 00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:00,037 I'M GOOD WITH PEOPLE, RIGHT? 169 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,290 LET'S ASSUME FOR A SECOND THAT YOU ARE. 170 00:08:03,709 --> 00:08:05,829 HONEY, WHY DO YOU EVEN WANT THIS JOB? 171 00:08:05,917 --> 00:08:08,577 OH, IT'S A FUN PLACE TO WORK. WE'D LAUGH ALL DAY. 172 00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:12,667 IT'D BE A HOOT... ESPECIALLY IF AN OWL GOT SICK. 173 00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:14,000 (laughs) GOOD ONE, ELLEN. 174 00:08:14,792 --> 00:08:17,672 ARE YOU GETTING A JOB AS HIS ASSISTANT OR AS HIS OPENING ACT? 175 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:21,130 HIS ASSISTANT. I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BE HIS OPENING ACT. 176 00:08:21,875 --> 00:08:22,825 AM I? 177 00:08:24,667 --> 00:08:26,417 LET'S ASSUME FOR A SECOND THAT YOU ARE. 178 00:08:27,333 --> 00:08:30,753 YOU HAVING A JOB SURROUNDED BY ANIMALS IS JUST A BAD IDEA. 179 00:08:30,834 --> 00:08:33,674 YOU ARE GONNA QUIT BEFORE THE FIRST DAY IS EVEN DONE. 180 00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:35,670 AND THEN I'M GONNA BE PUT IN THE AWKWARD POSITION 181 00:08:35,750 --> 00:08:38,630 OF HAVING TO DECIDE WHETHER I SAY "I TOLD YOU SO." 182 00:08:38,709 --> 00:08:40,629 OR DO I JUST TEXT YOU "ITYS"? 183 00:08:40,709 --> 00:08:42,999 IS THAT EVEN A THING? SHOULD I START IT? 184 00:08:44,709 --> 00:08:47,419 YOU ARE GOING TO FEEL SO STUPID WHEN THIS JOB WORKS OUT, 185 00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:51,830 AND I GET TO TEXT YOU "YDGTTMS..." 186 00:08:51,917 --> 00:08:53,877 "YOU DIDN'T GET TO TELL ME SO." 187 00:08:53,959 --> 00:08:55,329 MAYBE I'LL START THAT! 188 00:08:56,792 --> 00:08:57,922 YEAH, THAT'LL CATCH ON. 189 00:09:01,834 --> 00:09:06,634 (humming) 190 00:09:06,709 --> 00:09:07,829 GOOD MORNING, STAN. 191 00:09:07,917 --> 00:09:12,497 GOOD MORNING? NO. GREAT MORNING! I FEEL ALIVE! 192 00:09:12,583 --> 00:09:15,633 EVERYTHING SMELLS BETTER, LOOKS BETTER, TASTES BETTER! 193 00:09:15,709 --> 00:09:18,579 HAVE YOU BEEN OUTSIDE? ALL THE COLORS ARE SO VIVID! 194 00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:21,037 -STAN, DOGS ARE COLOR BLIND. -I KNOW. 195 00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:23,745 THE GRASS IS SO GRAY, THE SUN IS SO WHITE, 196 00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:25,964 AND THE BLUEBIRDS ARE SO BLACK! 197 00:09:27,792 --> 00:09:29,082 WHAT IS GOING ON? 198 00:09:29,166 --> 00:09:30,206 I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU THIS UP 199 00:09:30,291 --> 00:09:31,831 SINCE THAT TIME YOU POOPED UNDER THE COUCH. 200 00:09:31,917 --> 00:09:35,207 THAT WAS AN AMAZING ACCOMPLISHMENT. ONE OF MY BEST TRICKS. 201 00:09:36,458 --> 00:09:37,748 HOW'D YOU DO THAT, ANYWAY? 202 00:09:37,834 --> 00:09:40,334 CAN'T SAY. IF I TOLD YOU, I'D SPOIL THE MYSTERY. 203 00:09:40,417 --> 00:09:43,037 YOU MOVED THE COUCH, WENT, THEN MOVED THE COUCH BACK? 204 00:09:43,125 --> 00:09:45,995 -NOPE. -DID IT INVOLVE A TUBE OF SOME KIND? 205 00:09:47,125 --> 00:09:48,165 NOPE. 206 00:09:49,083 --> 00:09:50,883 IT WAS ALWAYS THERE, WASN'T IT? 207 00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:53,668 YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET IT. 208 00:09:53,750 --> 00:09:55,210 SO WHY ARE YOU SO HAPPY? 209 00:09:55,291 --> 00:09:58,831 OH, NO REASON. ONLY THAT MY LEGACY IS FULLY ASSURED. 210 00:09:58,917 --> 00:10:01,537 THAT'S ALL. I MADE A LITTLE VIDEO LAST NIGHT 211 00:10:01,625 --> 00:10:03,825 WHERE I TOLD THE WORLD ABOUT ME! 212 00:10:04,291 --> 00:10:05,131 WAIT, WHAT? 213 00:10:05,208 --> 00:10:06,418 BUT YOU CAN'T DO THAT. 214 00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,830 I KNOW NOBODY CAN SEE IT WHILE I'M STILL ALIVE 215 00:10:08,917 --> 00:10:10,877 OR I'LL BE TAKEN AWAY AND EXPERIMENTED ON, 216 00:10:10,959 --> 00:10:14,379 BUT WHEN I'M GONE, THE RECORDING CAN BE RELEASED 217 00:10:14,458 --> 00:10:16,878 AND MY FAME WILL LIVE ON LONG AFTER ME. 218 00:10:16,959 --> 00:10:19,079 -(jubilant music playing) -Man: SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME, 219 00:10:19,166 --> 00:10:21,536 HUMANITY HAS FACED MANY TROUBLES... 220 00:10:21,625 --> 00:10:23,625 ACCOMPLISHED REMARKABLE FEATS... 221 00:10:23,709 --> 00:10:27,249 AND AMASSED A HUGE LIBRARY OF STOCK FOOTAGE... 222 00:10:28,333 --> 00:10:30,213 BUT NOTHING IN ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY 223 00:10:30,291 --> 00:10:32,461 HAS PREPARED IT FOR THIS... 224 00:10:32,959 --> 00:10:34,419 (laughs) AH... 225 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:37,580 OH, HELLO, WORLD. I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE. 226 00:10:37,667 --> 00:10:39,287 I'M STAN. (clicks tongue) 227 00:10:39,917 --> 00:10:40,997 OH, YEAH! 228 00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:45,535 STAN, WHAT DID YOU DO? WHAT IF THAT VIDEO GETS OUT? 229 00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:48,125 YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE A RECORDING LIKE THAT LYING AROUND. 230 00:10:48,208 --> 00:10:50,418 I DIDN'T JUST LEAVE IT LYING AROUND. 231 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:53,710 I LEFT IT IN THE CAMERA IN THE FAMILY ROOM ON THE TRIPOD. 232 00:10:53,792 --> 00:10:54,632 OH, BOY. 233 00:10:58,083 --> 00:10:59,713 OH, GOOD, IT'S STILL HERE. 234 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:02,792 WE HAVE TO DELETE THE MEMORY CARD BEFORE MOM AND DAD FIND IT. 235 00:11:02,875 --> 00:11:06,575 GOOD IDEA. YOU DON'T WANT MOM AND DAD TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU DID. 236 00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:11,165 OKAY! GREAT WORK, EVERYONE! 237 00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:13,710 IF THIS HAD BEEN A REAL COVER UP AND NOT A DRILL, 238 00:11:13,792 --> 00:11:14,672 WE WOULD'VE BEEN CAUGHT, 239 00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:17,170 SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO SHAVE ABOUT TEN SECONDS OFF OUR TIME. 240 00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:19,580 BUT THANK YOU, DAD, FOR HELPING OUT. 241 00:11:19,667 --> 00:11:21,997 HEY, DAD, EVERYONE! LET'S GIVE HIM A HAND! 242 00:11:22,083 --> 00:11:23,963 -GIVE IT UP FOR DAD! -ALL RIGHT! 243 00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,080 WHAT DID YOU DO? 244 00:11:26,458 --> 00:11:27,958 WHAT COULD WE HAVE DONE? 245 00:11:28,041 --> 00:11:31,131 WHEN HAVE WE EVER DONE ANYTHING BAD WITH THE CAMERA? 246 00:11:31,208 --> 00:11:33,918 MILK CARTON. KITCHEN TABLE. GLUE. 247 00:11:51,250 --> 00:11:53,040 (laughs) 248 00:11:55,041 --> 00:11:57,171 LISTEN, YOUR MOM IS OUT APPLYING FOR A JOB. 249 00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:58,790 SHE... DON'T ASK. 250 00:11:59,709 --> 00:12:02,079 AND I'VE GOT A PATIENT WAITING. WHEN MOM GETS BACK, 251 00:12:02,166 --> 00:12:04,326 WE ARE GONNA FIND OUT EXACTLY WHAT IS ON THIS TAPE 252 00:12:04,417 --> 00:12:06,077 AND EXACTLY WHAT YOU HAVE DONE. 253 00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:10,290 DID YOU HEAR THAT? HE SAID "TAPE." 254 00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:11,995 WHAT IS THIS, 2005? 255 00:12:13,917 --> 00:12:16,917 STAN'S SECRET IS IN JEOPARDY AND THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT? 256 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,170 THANK YOU, AVERY. BUT "TAPE"? 257 00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:23,500 WHERE DOES HE GET HIS NEWS FROM? A NEWSPAPER? 258 00:12:23,583 --> 00:12:25,423 (laughs) 259 00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:26,955 I KNOW, RIGHT? 260 00:12:28,709 --> 00:12:31,919 Stan: (laughs) OH, THAT'S GOOD. 261 00:12:36,417 --> 00:12:38,627 SO, ELLEN. HAVE A SEAT. 262 00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:42,380 OH, WISH I HAD MY STOOL SAMPLE. 263 00:12:45,917 --> 00:12:49,537 SO, I SEE YOUR LAST JOB WAS AT TOWER RECORDS, 264 00:12:49,625 --> 00:12:51,825 AND THEN THERE SEEMS TO BE A BIT OF A GAP HERE. 265 00:12:53,417 --> 00:12:55,747 WELL, I WAS ROOM PARENT FOR THREE YEARS RUNNING 266 00:12:55,834 --> 00:12:58,964 AND TEAM SNACK MOM UNTIL THE FERMENTING INCIDENT. 267 00:13:00,375 --> 00:13:02,205 BUT I THINK THIS JOB WILL BE A GREAT FIT, 268 00:13:02,291 --> 00:13:05,251 BECAUSE I REALLY LOVE ANIMAL... PUNS. 269 00:13:06,250 --> 00:13:09,750 SO IT WOULD BE PURR-FECT FUR ME TO WORK HERE WITH EWE. 270 00:13:11,041 --> 00:13:12,541 OOH, THAT'S A DOUBLE! 271 00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:17,325 ACTUALLY, I WAS SPELLING "YOU" E-W-E: THE FEMALE SHEEP. TRIPLE! 272 00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:19,751 YOU'RE HIRED, KID! 273 00:13:19,834 --> 00:13:20,714 (laughs) 274 00:13:21,083 --> 00:13:22,043 Both: GOAT JOKE! 275 00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:23,455 (both laugh) 276 00:13:23,542 --> 00:13:25,212 IF YOU'RE AVAILABLE, YOU CAN START RIGHT NOW. 277 00:13:25,291 --> 00:13:26,421 YOU'VE HAD YOUR SHOTS, RIGHT? 278 00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:27,580 (laughs) 279 00:13:27,667 --> 00:13:30,077 NO, I'M SERIOUS. A LOT OF THESE ANIMALS HAVE DISEASES. 280 00:13:31,917 --> 00:13:33,877 THIS WON'T HURT... ME. 281 00:13:33,959 --> 00:13:35,249 (laughs) 282 00:13:35,625 --> 00:13:36,745 THAT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE. 283 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,920 HE'S TRYING TO PULL MY NOSE INTO HIS SHELL! 284 00:13:43,041 --> 00:13:46,711 HE'S NOT EVEN A SNAPPING TURTLE. HE MUST REALLY HATE YOU. 285 00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:50,540 THERE'S A FERRET UP MY PANT LEG! 286 00:13:51,041 --> 00:13:53,921 SHE'S JUST LOOKING FOR SOMEPLACE WARM TO HAVE HER BABIES. 287 00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:57,753 I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH A LARGE POOL OF SICK. 288 00:13:58,083 --> 00:14:00,503 I'M SORRY, DOCTOR, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I GET SCARED. 289 00:14:03,250 --> 00:14:06,500 WELL, THAT'S IT. MY LETTER OF RESIGNATION. 290 00:14:06,792 --> 00:14:08,332 I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, JERRY. 291 00:14:08,417 --> 00:14:10,877 YOU AND ALL YOUR FILTHY, TERRIFYING ANIMAL FRIENDS 292 00:14:10,959 --> 00:14:13,379 HAVE DRIVEN ME AWAY FROM MY CALLING OF WORKING WITH ANIMALS. 293 00:14:15,375 --> 00:14:16,375 HEY, PRETTY LADY. 294 00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:19,500 JUST BROUGHT YOU SOME LUNCH ON YOUR FIRST DAY OF WORK. 295 00:14:19,583 --> 00:14:21,583 OR AM I TAKING YOU HOME NOW? 296 00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:25,247 I'VE GOT "ITYS" ALL LOCKED AND LOADED. JUST HAVE TO HIT SEND. 297 00:14:25,333 --> 00:14:29,333 NO, NOT TAKING ME ANYWHERE, NOT HITTING SEND. 298 00:14:29,709 --> 00:14:32,209 JUST HANGING HERE WITH MY NEW BEST FRIEND, JERRY, 299 00:14:32,291 --> 00:14:34,041 AS HE DIGESTS HIS LUNCH. 300 00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:36,535 OH, IS THAT A MOUSE IN ITS THROAT? 301 00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:37,955 NO, IT'S MY CELL PHONE. 302 00:14:39,333 --> 00:14:42,173 SO ANY TEXTS YOU SEND TO ME WILL GO TO JERRY. 303 00:14:43,208 --> 00:14:46,578 WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HAVING FUN. I GUESS I WAS WRONG. 304 00:14:46,959 --> 00:14:50,419 YES, YOU WERE. NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE WORK TO DO. 305 00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:53,420 SO THANK YOU FOR THE LUNCH, BUT WE'RE VERY BUSY TODAY. 306 00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:54,790 OKAY, SEE YOU AT HOME. 307 00:14:54,875 --> 00:14:55,875 OKAY. 308 00:14:59,083 --> 00:15:01,213 WELL, JERRY, IT LOOKS LIKE I'M STUCK HERE FOR AWHILE. 309 00:15:07,166 --> 00:15:08,286 JERRY? 310 00:15:10,542 --> 00:15:11,712 JERRY? 311 00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,790 (cell phone rings) 312 00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:23,710 IS THAT THE PHONE RINGING? 313 00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:27,043 IT'S COMING FROM INSIDE THE SNAKE! 314 00:15:28,875 --> 00:15:31,785 (laughs) 315 00:15:36,041 --> 00:15:38,381 ALL RIGHT, IF WE WANT TO PROTECT STAN'S SECRET, 316 00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:40,168 WE HAVE TO GET THAT CAMERA BACK FROM DAD 317 00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:42,170 BEFORE HE SEES THAT STAN CAN TALK. 318 00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:45,960 I'M SORRY, GUYS, IT'S MY FAULT. I WANTED SO BAD TO LEAVE A LEGACY. 319 00:15:46,041 --> 00:15:47,381 IT'S OKAY, STAN. 320 00:15:47,458 --> 00:15:49,328 WE JUST NEED SOME CLEVER IDEAS. LET'S HEAR THEM. 321 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,040 WE COULD RELEASE A HONEY BADGER IN HIS OFFICE. 322 00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:53,745 HE'D FORGET ALL ABOUT US. 323 00:15:53,834 --> 00:15:55,794 NOBODY MESSES WITH A HONEY BADGER. 324 00:15:57,583 --> 00:15:58,833 WHERE WOULD WE GET A HONEY BADGER? 325 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:00,416 "BED, BADGER, AND BEYOND." 326 00:16:01,542 --> 00:16:02,382 THAT'S NOT A STORE. 327 00:16:02,458 --> 00:16:05,288 THEN WHO KEEPS SENDING ME THE 20% OFF COUPONS? 328 00:16:06,875 --> 00:16:08,785 OKAY, ANY OTHER IDEAS? 329 00:16:08,875 --> 00:16:11,075 MAYBE SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW, POSSIBLE? 330 00:16:11,333 --> 00:16:13,633 IT'S TOO BAD WE JUST CAN'T WALK IN THERE AND TAKE THE CAMERA 331 00:16:13,709 --> 00:16:15,829 WHILE DADDY'S VISITING MOMMY AT HER NEW JOB. 332 00:16:15,917 --> 00:16:17,827 WAIT, DAD'S NOT HERE? 333 00:16:17,917 --> 00:16:20,207 WE COULD JUST WALK IN THERE AND TAKE THE CAMERA? 334 00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:21,381 WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US? 335 00:16:21,625 --> 00:16:23,415 YOU SAID WE NEEDED A CLEVER PLAN. 336 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:26,000 WALKING IN THERE'S NOT CLEVER. IT'S BARELY A PLAN. 337 00:16:35,166 --> 00:16:36,996 I DIDN'T KNOW GOLDFISH COULD BITE SOMEONE. 338 00:16:38,166 --> 00:16:41,286 THEY CAN'T. THEY DON'T HAVE TEETH. I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED. 339 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:42,325 (phone rings) 340 00:16:42,792 --> 00:16:45,962 WELL, THIS HAS BEEN A CHALLENGING DAY, BUT I'M SURE THE WORST IS BEHIND ME. 341 00:16:46,583 --> 00:16:47,583 HOW COULD IT NOT BE? 342 00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:51,128 OH, OUR NEXT CLIENT IS ON THE WAY IN. 343 00:16:51,583 --> 00:16:54,253 ONE OF OUR CLIENTS FOUND THIS LOVELY PARROT IN THE PARK. 344 00:16:56,417 --> 00:16:57,877 (squawks) ELLEN CAN'T COOK! 345 00:16:57,959 --> 00:16:59,079 LUCY. 346 00:17:00,417 --> 00:17:01,997 (squawks) LUCY. 347 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:03,830 NOT AGAIN! 348 00:17:04,208 --> 00:17:06,168 (squawks) AGAIN! AGAIN! 349 00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:08,960 (screams) 350 00:17:11,208 --> 00:17:12,038 ARE YOU OKAY? 351 00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:14,750 NO, I AM NOT OKAY. 352 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:18,044 WHENEVER IT COMES TO ME AND ANIMALS, THINGS JUST GO HORRIBLY WRONG. 353 00:17:18,375 --> 00:17:20,495 LIKE THAT PARROT WHO'S JUST WAITING UP THERE FOR ME TO COME OUT 354 00:17:20,583 --> 00:17:23,043 SO SHE CAN GOUGE OUT MY EYES OR RIP OUT MY THROAT 355 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,745 OR SAY HURTFUL THINGS ABOUT ME! 356 00:17:26,667 --> 00:17:29,167 BUT I CAN'T QUIT BECAUSE MY HUSBAND WILL SAY "I TOLD YOU SO." 357 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,710 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO FIRE YOU? 358 00:17:31,959 --> 00:17:33,749 WOULD YOU? THAT WOULD BE AMAZING! 359 00:17:34,709 --> 00:17:36,039 IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE. 360 00:17:36,125 --> 00:17:38,915 WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO? YELL AT A CLIENT? STEAL SOMETHING? 361 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,580 NO, WHAT YOU HAVE DONE ALREADY IS JUST FINE. 362 00:17:41,667 --> 00:17:43,957 THIS IS CALLED "GROSS INCOMPETENCE." 363 00:17:45,625 --> 00:17:47,915 "GROSS INCOMPETENCE..." I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT. 364 00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:49,496 GROSS INCOMPETENCE. 365 00:17:49,583 --> 00:17:52,673 (squawks and laughs) 366 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,420 ALL RIGHT, WE GOT IT, NOW LET'S DELETE IT. 367 00:17:58,500 --> 00:17:59,420 ARE YOU KIDDING? 368 00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:01,500 IF WE DELETE IT, DAD'LL SEE THAT THERE'S NOTHING ON IT 369 00:18:01,583 --> 00:18:02,833 AND FIGURE OUT WE DELETED IT. 370 00:18:02,917 --> 00:18:04,457 WE HAVE TO GIVE THEM SOMETHING. 371 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:05,792 I GET IT. 372 00:18:05,875 --> 00:18:08,665 WE HAVE TO REPLACE STAN'S RECORDING WITH ANOTHER RECORDING 373 00:18:08,750 --> 00:18:10,210 THAT WE'D WANT TO HIDE FROM MOM AND DAD. 374 00:18:10,917 --> 00:18:12,497 HOW ARE YOU AHEAD OF ME ON THIS? 375 00:18:13,417 --> 00:18:15,707 I DON'T LISTEN IN CLASS AND I NEVER DO HOMEWORK. 376 00:18:15,875 --> 00:18:17,875 THAT LEAVES MY BRAIN FREE FOR PLANS, SCHEMES, 377 00:18:17,959 --> 00:18:19,419 AND THINGS SO CRAZY THEY JUST MIGHT WORK. 378 00:18:21,041 --> 00:18:22,961 OKAY, SO WHAT DO WE RECORD O REPLACE STAN? 379 00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:24,960 SOMETHING BAD ENOUGH THAT WHEN THEY SEE IT, 380 00:18:25,041 --> 00:18:28,751 THEY SAY, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" BUT NOT SO BAD THAT THEY TRY TO FIX YOU. 381 00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:31,751 THE WORST IS WHEN DAD LETS YOU KNOW IT'S OKAY TO CRY... 382 00:18:32,208 --> 00:18:33,038 BY CRYING. 383 00:18:34,291 --> 00:18:38,081 NO, THE WORST IS WHEN DAD SNEAKS INTO MY ROOM TO ANALYZE MY ART WALL. 384 00:18:38,542 --> 00:18:40,792 SOMETIMES I PAINT HEADLESS CLOWNS JUST TO MESS WITH HIM. 385 00:18:42,166 --> 00:18:44,456 THOSE ARE THE NIGHTS I CAN'T SLEEP IN YOUR ROOM. 386 00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,384 CHLOE, WHERE WERE YOU? 387 00:18:48,458 --> 00:18:49,918 GETTING MY SMOOTHIE FROM THE FRIDGE. 388 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,920 I FIGURED TWO PEOPLE AND A TALKING DOG COULD PICK UP A CAMERA IN AN EMPTY ROOM. 389 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,460 DID YOU NEED A LITTLE GIRL? 390 00:19:00,709 --> 00:19:02,289 AH. I'M HOME. 391 00:19:03,041 --> 00:19:04,751 OH, YOU'RE HOME EARLY. 392 00:19:05,041 --> 00:19:06,541 AND SEND. 393 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,960 THE JOKE'S ON YOU. I TOLD YOU I DON'T HAVE MY PHONE. 394 00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:13,417 (quacking) 395 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,670 JERRY? DID YOU EAT A DUCK? 396 00:19:18,333 --> 00:19:21,383 AND YOU DON'T GET TO SAY "I TOLD YOU SO" BECAUSE I DIDN'T QUIT. 397 00:19:21,625 --> 00:19:25,495 I WAS FIRED. GROSS INCOMPETENCE. 398 00:19:25,583 --> 00:19:27,503 HA! WHO FEELS STUPID NOW? 399 00:19:31,375 --> 00:19:34,375 ALL RIGHT, LET'S FIND OUT WHAT YOU KIDS HAVE BEEN HIDING. 400 00:19:37,125 --> 00:19:39,035 AVERY, I KNOW THAT MOM AND DAD 401 00:19:39,125 --> 00:19:41,955 WOULD NOT APPROVE OF US PLAYING KITCHEN TENNIS. 402 00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:45,633 WHOA! WHAT? CHLOE! 403 00:19:45,709 --> 00:19:48,999 WHY ARE YOU RECORDING US DOING THAT WHICH WE ARE FORBIDDEN TO DO? 404 00:19:50,083 --> 00:19:52,673 NOTICE THAT SHE SAID "RECORDING," NOT "TAPING." 405 00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:55,830 YOU SEE, TAPING IS SOMETHING PEOPLE USED TO DO BEFORE 2005 406 00:19:55,917 --> 00:19:57,497 WHEN THERE WAS ACTUALLY TAPE IN THE CAMERAS. 407 00:19:59,542 --> 00:20:02,962 HEY, TYLER, WATCH OUT FOR THAT VASE OF FLOWERS OVER THERE! 408 00:20:03,041 --> 00:20:05,751 WE'D GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE IF WE HIT THAT WITH THE BALL! 409 00:20:06,125 --> 00:20:06,955 WHOOPS! 410 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:09,375 OH, MAN, I MISSED! 411 00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:10,829 Avery: STAN! 412 00:20:10,917 --> 00:20:14,577 HEY, I KNOW THAT WASN'T PART OF THE PLAN, BUT I SEE A BALL, I'M GOING FOR IT. 413 00:20:15,333 --> 00:20:17,963 OH, MY GOSH, IS THAT HOW I RUN? 414 00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:21,035 Tyler: STAN! 415 00:20:21,625 --> 00:20:23,785 Avery: OH, NO! NOT THE TABLE! 416 00:20:23,875 --> 00:20:25,745 (clattering) 417 00:20:25,834 --> 00:20:26,964 Avery: OH! 418 00:20:27,041 --> 00:20:27,881 Tyler: OH, WATCH OUT! 419 00:20:32,750 --> 00:20:34,960 HUH. THAT'LL WORK, TOO, I GUESS. 420 00:20:39,417 --> 00:20:43,827 (slurping) 421 00:20:44,417 --> 00:20:46,667 THAT'S IT. NO TV FOR A WEEK. 422 00:20:47,041 --> 00:20:47,921 -WHAT? -NO! 423 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,960 IS IT BECAUSE OF MY POOR CAMERA WORK? 424 00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:52,754 AVERY, I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU, 425 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:56,634 BUT I' AM GOING TO LOOK VERY CAREFULLY AT YOUR ART WALL TONIGHT. 426 00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,745 SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK THE KIDS REALLY DID 427 00:21:02,834 --> 00:21:04,924 THAT THEY'RE TRYING TO COVER UP WITH THAT RIDICULOUS VIDEO? 428 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,460 PROBABLY SOMETHING A WHOLE LOT WORSE, BUT I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT. 429 00:21:07,542 --> 00:21:08,922 I'VE HAD THE WORST DAY. 430 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,250 I HAVE BEEN BITTEN, SCRATCHED, MAULED, AND PUKED ON, 431 00:21:12,625 --> 00:21:14,495 AND ONLY ONE OF THOSE WAS SELF-INFLICTED. 432 00:21:18,959 --> 00:21:21,379 I'M REALLY SORRY, GUYS. IF I HADN'T MADE THAT VIDEO, 433 00:21:21,458 --> 00:21:24,628 NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN NECESSARY AND YOU WOULDN'T BE PAYING FOR IT. 434 00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:28,537 IT'S OKAY, STAN. ANYTHING IS WORTH KEEPING YOUR SECRET SAFE. 435 00:21:28,875 --> 00:21:31,165 YEAH, YOU BEING HERE MAKES UP FOR ANY PUNISHMENT. 436 00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,960 BEING WITH YOU GUYS IS ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME, TOO. 437 00:21:34,542 --> 00:21:37,212 YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S MY LEGACY. 438 00:21:37,291 --> 00:21:41,751 YOU LIVE ON IN THE HEARTS OF THOSE WHOSE LIVES YOU TOUCH, DON'T YOU? 439 00:21:42,125 --> 00:21:43,125 WELL, UNTIL THEY DIE. 440 00:21:43,208 --> 00:21:46,418 TYLER, YOU'RE NOT HELPING. 441 00:21:47,667 --> 00:21:50,827 BESIDES, STAN, NO ONE KNOWS HOW LONG TALKING DOGS LIVE. 442 00:21:51,166 --> 00:21:53,416 MAYBE YOU'LL LIVE WAY LONGER THAN REGULAR DOGS. 443 00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:54,580 OR MAYBE WAY SHORTER. 444 00:21:54,667 --> 00:21:55,707 TYLER! 445 00:21:56,625 --> 00:21:59,205 IT'S TRUE I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG I HAVE, 446 00:21:59,291 --> 00:22:03,631 BUT HOWEVER LONG IT IS, MY LEGACY IS THE PEOPLE I LOVE. 447 00:22:04,333 --> 00:22:06,963 NOW I'M GONNA GO ONTO THE BED, BADGERS, AND BEYOND SITE 448 00:22:07,041 --> 00:22:08,421 AND PRINT A RETURN LABEL. 449 00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:10,790 THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH THESE DISCOUNT COUPONS. 450 00:22:10,875 --> 00:22:13,035 YOU END UP BUYING BADGERS YOU DON'T REALLY NEED. 451 00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:16,125 WHERE'D THEY GO? 452 00:22:16,208 --> 00:22:17,668 (Ellen screams) 453 00:22:17,750 --> 00:22:18,830 OH, BOY. 454 00:22:19,125 --> 00:22:22,915 (screams) THERE'S BADGERS IN MY ROBE! 455 00:22:26,875 --> 00:22:28,875 WHOA! COOL! 456 00:22:29,208 --> 00:22:31,878 I DID LIVE WAY LONGER THAN REGULAR DOGS! 457 00:22:31,959 --> 00:22:33,959 I EVEN OUTLIVED PLANET EARTH! 458 00:22:34,291 --> 00:22:35,711 (slurping) OH, NO! 459 00:22:35,792 --> 00:22:38,632 I'M BEING SUCKED INTO A BLACK HOLE! 460 00:22:38,709 --> 00:22:40,499 (slurping) 461 00:22:40,583 --> 00:22:42,383 OKAY, THAT MAKES A LOT MORE SENSE. 35097

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.