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1
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,319
Steady on, you're making me soaking wet!
2
00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:45,717
What the hell? What are you doing
kipping down in my garden?
3
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:48,957
- You've knocked over me gnomes!
- Mum locked me out.
4
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,470
- Why don't you kip in your own garden?
- Yours is cosier.
5
00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:58,033
- What's going off?
- Your boy's been kipping with my gnomes.
6
00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:02,119
- You locked me out, Mum.
- That front door was open until two.
7
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,879
If you're not in by then,
you stop in the garden.
8
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,718
Not in my garden he can't. And look -
9
00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:10,471
he's bent me fishing rod.
10
00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:13,512
Heaven knows where the fish or the hook is.
11
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:16,199
I think I've found the 'ook.
12
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:20,870
Serves you right. Get to the kitchen sink
and give yourself a good wash.
13
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,469
- I don't want any breakfast.
- You're not getting any.
14
00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,512
I've got my bedrooms to do - it's Thursday.
15
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:33,348
Do you mind? All your fluff's going in
my window and it's not very hygienic.
16
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,834
Ooh, I'm sorry, Vera.
17
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:38,235
It's that boy. He'll be the death of me.
18
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,589
Well, where's he been to this time?
19
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,676
Probably down the club with Harry.
20
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,551
I heard that.
21
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:48,068
You needn't start blaming me.
22
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,588
I left him last night half eleven,
23
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:53,757
he had half a pint of mild and bitter
in his hand
24
00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,314
and he needed double 13 for game.
25
00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,351
I am totally blameless.
26
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:03,553
He's a rotten dart player but it shouldn't
take two hours to get double 13.
27
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,034
Well, perhaps he's got a girlfriend.
28
00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,196
No, he hasn't, not my Wilfred.
29
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:11,550
He's only 17, he's not
got round to girls yet.
30
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:14,273
He's only just finished with hamsters!
31
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,390
Jack, give Gloria some money,
she's going for the papers.
32
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,000
There might be something about Beeching.
33
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:25,271
Here's a couple of bob.
Get me some Woodbines.
34
00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:28,198
- Can I keep the change?
- Don't be cheeky.
35
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,231
Mind how you go.
36
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:33,511
The wireless was going on
about Beeching this morning.
37
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:37,792
They said 2,000 stations was to close
but they didn't say which ones.
38
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:41,310
- It'll take 'em all day to list 'em.
- That's why I want the paper.
39
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:45,797
Go and turn the urn up, we'll have tea
in the buffet while she gets back.
40
00:02:56,520 --> 00:03:00,559
Now Ralph, that last station
were quite an improvement.
41
00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:04,832
- I didn't overshoot, did I?
- No, no, you didn't overshoot, no.
42
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,950
Actually, you were a bit short.
43
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,037
- Not too much, though.
- No, no, not too much.
44
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,475
You just left half a carriage
dangling off the platform.
45
00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:18,035
Only a couple of passengers in it
tried to get off.
46
00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:22,312
- That was all right, then, wasn't it?
- Yes, that was all right.
47
00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:27,075
- Just relax for a few minutes.
- All right, I'll relax.
48
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:29,111
Shall I put some more coal on?
49
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:31,990
When did you put the last lot on?
50
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,793
I dunno, I never looked at me watch.
51
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,229
About five minutes ago, I guess.
52
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:40,033
We mustn't guess, we must know.
53
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,071
Shove some on quick.
54
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:47,150
You don't whistle just because
you're putting coal on.
55
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,270
Sorry, I was getting confused.
56
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:56,671
Where is everybody?
57
00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,188
In the buffet. I'm in the doghouse.
58
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,391
Oh, poor you. I've got the paper.
59
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:04,556
- Here it is.
- Give it here.
60
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,034
It doesn't say much.
61
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:12,438
Wilfred, pop down to the signal box,
ask Harry for a dozen eggs.
62
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,630
I need 'em for me egg sandwiches.
63
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,752
That's the best thing for egg sandwiches,
is eggs.
64
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,677
Be off with ya.
65
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,917
They're closing all the stations
north of lnverness.
66
00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,633
Most of the branch lines in North Wales.
67
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:29,195
- And Central Wales, and the West Country.
- That doesn't affect us.
68
00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,915
No, but it affects them Scotch
and North and Central Welshers.
69
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,951
Look, it says here,
70
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:38,037
"Many branch lines in England
are earmarked for the axe."
71
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:41,868
- Are we a branch line?
- We're not a main line for sure.
72
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:47,392
But we're very important. All that milk and
fertilizer and chickens that go through here.
73
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:49,112
And pigeons.
74
00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:52,675
Perhaps Mr Parkin,
the new stationmaster, will have news.
75
00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,676
Where did he stay last night?
76
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,076
He was going back to Clumberfield
where he's been living,
77
00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,918
then he was going to
pop into district office,
78
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:05,238
then he was going to catch the 7:58
in the morning to get back here
79
00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:09,671
and hopes to move into the stationmaster's
house the day after tomorrow.
80
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:11,836
How did you find all that out?
81
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:15,111
We were just chatting yesterday
as he was leaving.
82
00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:18,197
You must have been chatting
for a while, May.
83
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:20,595
He's practically given you his timetable.
84
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:24,030
Don't be silly, Jack,
I was just making him feel welcome.
85
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,435
He seems a bit pompous.
86
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,869
Oh, he always was.
87
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:30,672
I expect.
88
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,437
Hello. Anyone selling tickets?
89
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,471
'Ey up, we've got customers.
90
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:40,752
I'd better open up shop.
The 7:58 will be here in a minute or two.
91
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,118
'Ey, 'Arry,
May says can she have some eggs?
92
00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:53,073
Just a minute. Can't you see
I'm trying to mend this clock?
93
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,998
Have some manners.
How many does she want?
94
00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,110
- A dozen.
- A dozen?
95
00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:01,516
That's all I've got.
She'll have to make 'em last.
96
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,551
The hens can't keep it up.
97
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,239
Oh, drat!
98
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,919
Another ruddy train.
99
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,349
I'm rushed off me feet this morning.
100
00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,958
Ralph, can you see the signal?
101
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,992
- Yeah, it's all clear.
- Now ease it back.
102
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:24,151
And I'll tell you when to brake.
103
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:26,637
And Ralph,
104
00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:28,671
be gentle.
105
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,349
Tickets, please. Tickets, please.
106
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:42,552
I've got yours, son. Your granny will be
waiting for you at Hatley.
107
00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,352
Morning, Mr Parkin.
108
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,672
- Any more news about Beeching?
- Not a thing.
109
00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:53,032
And district office don't seem to know
any more than the papers.
110
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,548
We'll just have to carry on.
111
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:59,434
- Have you met everyone at Hatley, then?
- Yes, I have.
112
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:01,948
Great bunch, ain't they?
113
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:06,755
That woman that runs the refreshment bar,
phwoar, she's a cracker, ain't she?
114
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:10,236
- I... hadn't noticed.
- Her and I have had some fun.
115
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:13,511
When her old man's not looking, of course.
116
00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:17,235
Between you and me,
I fancy her daughter something rotten.
117
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:20,078
- She's a bit young, isn't she?
- She's 18.
118
00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:24,716
Start young these days, know all there is
to know at 16, start practising too.
119
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,869
Can't say I approve of that sort of thing.
120
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:31,913
Be there in a couple of minutes.
Come on, son, let's find your granny.
121
00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:35,316
Blimey, this is heavy.
What's in here? All your teddies?
122
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,999
I have my guns in there, actually.
123
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:45,429
Here y'are. There's a dozen eggs.
124
00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,471
Four and six, tell her.
125
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,592
- And don't break 'em - that's the lot.
- Thanks.
126
00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:53,598
Harry, you know your turkey Oscar?
127
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,631
Course I know my turkey Oscar.
128
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,594
Well, it's running up the line.
129
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:01,631
What? Running up the line?
130
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,240
Oh, my God!
131
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:08,398
Oh, quick! Phone Jack and tell him
Oscar's running up the line.
132
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:14,348
Hello, Hatley booking office!
133
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:17,159
Oh, heck!
134
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,076
Jack! Jack!
135
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:22,429
- What's up?
- Oscar's running up the line.
136
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,669
Oscar who?
137
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,711
Oscar turkey.
138
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:32,752
Harry's turkey, the one we're all having
for Christmas dinner!
139
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,270
Christmas dinner's months away.
140
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:42,711
If Arnold's train runs over it, we'll be having
turkey rissoles tomorrow! Come on!
141
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,869
Ralph! You said it were all clear.
142
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,388
- It was!
- Well, it's not now.
143
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,431
I can't trust you to do a thing.
144
00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,228
Stop the train!
145
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,951
Stop the flippin' train!
146
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,831
That'll be Ralph again.
147
00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,075
Oh, thank God.
148
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:22,192
- What's to do?
- Oscar's under the train!
149
00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:25,550
- Oscar who?
- Oscar turkey, of course!
150
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,475
You've probably cut his head off.
151
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,353
- Oscar!
- What's happening?
152
00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:35,473
Oscar is under the train
and we've probably cut his head off.
153
00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,636
Shall I get the first- aid kit?
154
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,471
Stop playing with your whistle!
155
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,988
Oscar! Oscar!
156
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:48,919
Oscar! Oscar!
157
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,997
Gobble- gobble! Gobble- gobble!
Gobble- gobble!
158
00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:55,396
- Turkeys don't go gobble- gobble.
- Yes, they do.
159
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:58,989
Old Macdonald had a farm,
and on that farm he had some turkeys
160
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:00,696
With a gobble- gobble here,
and a gobble- gobble there
161
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:02,496
Here a gobble, there a gobble
Everywhere a gobble- gobble
162
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:06,035
They don't gobble- gobble,
they go, "Obobobobo!"
163
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:09,356
That's not turkeys, that's Red Indians.
164
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,039
It's not a Red Indian, Red Indians go...
165
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:15,197
"Wowowowowowow!"
166
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:20,758
Listen, yous two, if you must know,
you don't do it with your hand or your finger.
167
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,791
You do it with your tongue.
168
00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,673
"Blublublbublbub."
169
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,915
"Blbublublubublub."
170
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:31,794
- What exactly is going on?
- Ah. Oh, Mr Parkin.
171
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,831
I didn't see you there.
172
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,519
- You gave me quite a turn.
- Why have we halted?
173
00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:41,554
Ah. Er, Mr Parkin, er,
we suspected an obstruction on the line.
174
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:45,436
- A body, possibly.
- It's a turkey, Mr Parkin.
175
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:46,913
A turkey?
176
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,791
With feathers!
177
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:52,515
Do you mean you stopped
a passenger train for a turkey?
178
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:56,030
- It's Christmas dinner!
- Er, for somebody.
179
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,071
Is this what you're looking for?
180
00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,793
Hey, you've got it the wrong way round.
181
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,798
He was pecking me in the eyes,
it's dangerous.
182
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,400
I expect this end's dangerous an' all.
183
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:10,353
Get this train moving. I'll see
you all in my office at 12 o'clock.
184
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,391
Not 12 o'clock, Mr Parkin,
185
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:14,556
I've got the goods to Buston at 12 o'clock.
186
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,591
Well, one o'clock.
187
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:19,632
I've got the 1:02 to
Eccleswade at 1:02 too.
188
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,194
I get relieved at two o'clock.
189
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,231
How about five past two?
190
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,953
Very well. Now get this train moving.
191
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,991
Right, Mr Parkin! In a thrice!
192
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,199
Harry, are you busy?
193
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,549
I'm rushed off me feet.
194
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,830
I'm trying to mend Ethel's clock,
195
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,758
there's bets to place,
there's that bike to do,
196
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,713
and on top of that, they keep sending me
these ruddy trains.
197
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:55,750
Do you think you could find time
to thread this needle?
198
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,951
The cotton end just
refuses to go in the eye.
199
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,356
Oh, 'eaven give me strength. Give it here.
200
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:06,439
Well, it is your own personal trousers
what is needing attention.
201
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,869
It's only a couple of buttons to sew on.
202
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,229
Very essential buttons, Harry.
203
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,475
They was fly buttons.
204
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,430
You can't go around without them
205
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:21,634
or persons will be observing that which
should only be observed by your needy wife.
206
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:25,351
She left me five years ago.
207
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:29,313
She stopped doing any observing
three years before that.
208
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,509
I have already licked it.
209
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,634
You're a sad person, Harry.
210
00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,871
I hear you had an
altification with Mr Parkin.
211
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:47,675
Not half I didn't. He came ferreting round
here, saw my rabbits and the chickens.
212
00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:50,234
- Did he say anything?
- Not a word.
213
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:55,638
I'll tell you this, Vera - I was within an inch
of giving him the flat end of my tongue.
214
00:12:55,680 --> 00:13:00,231
Fancy. And I'd been cleaning
the stationmaster's house ready for him.
215
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:03,718
He'd better modumate his attitude
216
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:08,311
or he'll find cockroaches and centipedes
nesting under his pillow.
217
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,351
In his pyjama trousers.
218
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,715
Oh, drat!
219
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,318
I nearly done it and there's a ruddy train.
220
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:24,156
There you are, Amy,
one day return to Wenstead.
221
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:28,318
Ooh, and you're not permitted to travel back
on the 5:51 or the 6:18.
222
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,477
- Why ever not?
- That's because it's a cheap day.
223
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:36,230
You must have some restrictions,
otherwise everybody'd be buying them.
224
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,590
I can hear the train.
Shouldn't you be on the platform?
225
00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:45,871
- Parkin's doing it.
- But you've always done it.
226
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:50,550
If he wants to show off with his flag
and his whistle, let him get on with it.
227
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:54,115
What do you think he's going to do to us
at five past two?
228
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:56,594
Nothing. His sort's all wind.
229
00:13:56,640 --> 00:14:01,270
What about Harry? He shouldn't have
stopped the train or left his box.
230
00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:04,357
He might report him but I doubt it.
231
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,960
Ooh, it's coming!
232
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,231
This is Hatley, Hatley, Hatley.
233
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,271
Oh, get him!
234
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:17,277
Change here for Buston
and Wenstead.
235
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,118
"Change hyar for Buston and Wenstead."
236
00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:24,310
Oh, give over, Jack.
If he hears you, he'll go bananas.
237
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:29,354
Listen to that hoity- toity voice, it's like
having Harold Macmillan as stationmaster.
238
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,914
Tickets, please! Tickets, please!
239
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,951
Thank you, sir. Thank you.
240
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,991
Thank you, miss. Thank you.
241
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,830
- Season.
- Don't be clever.
242
00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:42,595
Jack, I want to go and wave to Percy.
243
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:45,791
- Do you think I dare?
- Not with him standing there.
244
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,831
Right away!
245
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,668
"Right away!"
246
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:55,076
Ralph!
Stop playing with your whistle!
247
00:14:56,520 --> 00:15:01,036
You're wasting your time with Percy,
he's after anything in a skirt.
248
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,196
Rubbish, it's all talk.
249
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:06,994
He walked me home last Monday
from Ruskin Memorial Hall
250
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,396
and there's all sorts of dark places
along the way
251
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:14,228
and he never tried to shove me
into any of 'em, not once.
252
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,430
Better luck next time.
253
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,868
That's quite enough of that, Jack Skinner.
254
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,911
'Ey up.
255
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,308
He's not said a word to me all morning.
256
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,669
I think he's cross with us.
257
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:38,754
Hello, Hatley booking office!
258
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,040
Oh, hello, Mr Fenwright.
259
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:43,718
Just a moment.
260
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:49,355
He wants Harry
to give him a haircut at four o'clock.
261
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,391
Do you think he'll dare?
262
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,431
I'll ask him.
263
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:58,955
Just a moment, please,
my colleague is dealing with the matter.
264
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:09,513
Harry, can you give
Mr Fenwright an 'aircut at four?
265
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,198
Who's that?
266
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,199
Jack.
267
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,789
That's a nasty cold you've got there.
268
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:22,589
Never mind about that. Can you do it?
269
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:26,758
No, I can't.
I haven't threadled Vera's needle yet,
270
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:31,271
and they keep sending me
these ruddy trains, I'm rushed off me feet.
271
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,959
Tell him to call tomorrow. Oh, and Jack?
272
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,709
- 'What?'
- I'll mix some cough mixture for that cold.
273
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,271
I haven't got a cold.
274
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,111
He says call back tomorrow.
275
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,038
Mr Fenwright, are you there?
276
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,992
Harry says will you call tomorrow?
277
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:53,312
No, Mr Fenwright, I haven't got a cold.
278
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:57,837
I'm having to whisper because Mr Pa...
279
00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:01,077
Well, all right,
maybe I have got a slight cold.
280
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,994
He thinks I've got a
cold cos I'm whispering.
281
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,954
This is no time for a pop concert.
282
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:12,949
His nibs is in there and we're all for
the high jump so don't make it any worse.
283
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,468
Clean the brass in the gents' whatsits.
284
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,670
- I've already done it once.
- Do it again.
285
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,109
- Can I take me guitar?
- No. Get lost.
286
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:27,037
Poor lad.
He never gets a chance to practise.
287
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,640
He can't practise in the gents' whatsit.
288
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:33,150
I'm fed up with whispering.
Come into the booking hall.
289
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:41,235
I want you to tell me something,
and promise me you'll be quite honest.
290
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,794
All right, Jack, I promise.
291
00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:46,115
But why are we still whispering?
292
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,756
Because May's in there
and I don't want her to hear.
293
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,791
- I see.
- Come and sit down.
294
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:59,238
Now then, Ethel, do you think
May and Parkin have met before,
295
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,271
judging by their demeanour?
296
00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:06,191
Their what?
297
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,151
Their demeanour.
298
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,316
The way they've been acting together.
299
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:14,078
Oh, I see.
300
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:18,432
Do you think they've met before? Because
they don't seem quite normal together.
301
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:23,235
And she knows a lot about his comings
and goings and toings and froings.
302
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:27,318
Jack, you've got to
stop being so suspicious
303
00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:30,750
and you've not got to start
cross- examining her about it.
304
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:35,078
You two seem to get on quite well.
Why don't you ask her?
305
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:39,272
I'll do no such... Shh!
Let's have a cuppa.
306
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:42,272
Gloria, give that table a wipe- down,
there's a love.
307
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:44,311
All right, Mum.
308
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:50,270
Gloria? What are you doing here?
309
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:53,630
Helping Mum.
I've not got classes till this evening.
310
00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:57,992
May, do something about that skirt.
I can see her stocking tops.
311
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,998
No, you can't, cos I've got tights on.
312
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,110
Can't you let the hem down?
313
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:07,756
- I'm the one who put it up.
- Nobody minds short skirts these days.
314
00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,870
I put one of mine up four inches,
315
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:11,911
nobody said a word.
316
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:15,873
- Come on, have your tea, I've just made it.
- Thanks, love.
317
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,036
Me and Ethel have been talking.
318
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:22,039
- Oh, yeah?
- She thinks she's met Parkin before.
319
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,516
- Oh, really?
- I didn't exactly say that, Jack.
320
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,551
I said his face seemed familiar.
321
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,592
Some people have familiar sorts of faces,
322
00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,710
especially Mr Parkin.
323
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:36,833
I doubt if you've met him.
He doesn't hail from these parts.
324
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,518
Where does he hail from?
325
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,632
Up Blackpool way, I think.
Maybe Morecambe.
326
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,797
Oh, you two were up that way
at the end of the war.
327
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:48,628
So we were. We never met him, though,
not as far as I know.
328
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:50,671
- We might have.
- I doubt it.
329
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:54,190
- Course, a lot of people go to Blackpool.
- And Morecambe.
330
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:56,800
- You've been to Blackpool or Morecambe?
- No.
331
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,195
- Where else have you been?
- Skegness.
332
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,470
Perhaps you saw him there.
333
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:06,920
She's behaving very suspiciously.
334
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:10,316
Stop it, Jack. You're becoming obsessed.
335
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,430
What are you whispering about?
336
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:17,998
- Er, Mr Fenwright who wants an 'aircut.
- So do you but there's no need to whisper.
337
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,395
Ah, Mr Skinner, there you are.
338
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,557
The Clumberfield train is due.
Will you see it through?
339
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,591
Yes, of course.
340
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,479
Oh, I thought you wanted to do it.
341
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,750
Not on this occasion, Mr Skinner.
342
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:39,438
And I suggest you stand by
in the booking office, Mrs Schumann.
343
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:43,114
Ooh, er, yes of course, Mr Parkin.
344
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:47,949
Erm, they usually pop their heads
in here if they want a ticket.
345
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:49,991
Not any more, Mrs Schumann.
346
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,151
Yes, of course, Mr Parkin.
347
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,071
He's going to ruin this station.
348
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:01,908
That'll be all for now, Gloria, love.
Go and tidy your room.
349
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,111
- Pick those things up off the floor.
- They need washing.
350
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,277
They will do if they've been on the floor.
Run along.
351
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,038
Ta- ra.
352
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,319
Ta- ra.
353
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,875
That girl's skirt is far too short.
354
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,434
That's up to me and her father
to decide, isn't it?
355
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,391
Well, me and Mr Skinner.
356
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,750
You haven't changed, May.
You always put me in my place.
357
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,711
Not enough, as it happened.
358
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:32,151
We can't turn back the clock.
We were young then, and terribly in love.
359
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,555
I completely lost my heart to you, May.
360
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,750
That's nothing compared to what I lost.
361
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:40,354
No, May, you haven't changed a bit.
362
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,960
You have. You were one of the lads then.
363
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,389
Now you're all pompous, you talk posh.
364
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:50,434
I've had to. I've been assistant stationmaster
at some very important stations.
365
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:55,952
Shenfield, for instance. All the passengers
there were lawyers and stockbrokers.
366
00:21:56,000 --> 00:22:00,232
They expected everything to be just so.
One had to live up to their standards.
367
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:02,874
You'll find things different round here.
368
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,593
I couldn't sleep last
night for thinking of you.
369
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,791
All those wasted years
we haven't been together.
370
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,990
I should have been with you, May,
371
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:14,476
to see every wrinkle grow
on that lovely forehead,
372
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:17,869
every line under those pretty eyes,
373
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,838
every fold under that adorable chin.
374
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,396
Don't say any more, Cecil.
375
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:27,431
I'm sorry, am I upsetting you?
376
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:31,473
I'm just trying to stop meself pouring
this pot of tea over your head.
377
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,079
It's two o'clock. Time for the meeting.
378
00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:40,678
Where's his nibs?
379
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,188
It's two o'clock. Is he in his office?
380
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,959
He'll be poking his nose into something.
381
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:51,074
Oh. Here, I made this up for you. Take
a swig when you feel your throat coming on
382
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:53,509
and you'll be as right as ninepence.
383
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,028
I haven't got a bad
throat, I didn't want...
384
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,514
Oh, hello, Mr Parkin! We're all here.
385
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,551
Come into my office.
386
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:05,436
Don't forget - stick to the plan
and we'll be all right.
387
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,756
Mum, Mr Fenwright sent round this inhaler.
388
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:13,759
He said pour four drops from
this little bottle into some water
389
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:15,836
and your cold will be gone in no time.
390
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,440
Thank you, Wilfred.
391
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,948
I didn't know you had a cold,
Mrs Schumann.
392
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,150
Oh, just a small one.
393
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:29,750
Perhaps you'd better sit by the wall. If
I catch a cold it'll last till the autumn.
394
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:36,791
I'll mix you up some throat mixture. You'll
be as right as ninepence in a thrice.
395
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:40,879
I think I should tell you that I intend
to write a report on this station,
396
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:42,911
especially on recent events.
397
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:46,236
Whether I send it
depends upon your future conduct.
398
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:49,909
That sounds very fair to me, sir.
Very fair indeed.
399
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:54,351
As I see it, you stopped the train
because your turkey was on the line.
400
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,470
That's not quite correct, sir.
401
00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:58,511
It's not really my turkey.
402
00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,916
One could say it's a
British Railways turkey.
403
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,073
British Railways turkey.
404
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:10,557
Yes, there was 150 turkeys delivered here
and they wasn't all collected.
405
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:14,593
- 150...
- That's right, two were left behind.
406
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:18,030
Two were... I'm sorry, Mrs Schumann,
do you mind?
407
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:23,040
These two laid some eggs.
408
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,071
Well, at least one of them did.
409
00:24:25,120 --> 00:24:28,032
When the farmer came back,
he didn't want the eggs.
410
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,640
So 'Arry actually 'atched them!
411
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:33,672
Sorry.
412
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:36,711
And Oscar was one of the brood.
413
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,228
Now the point is, sir,
414
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,271
are they our turkeys
415
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:44,039
or British Railways' turkeys?
416
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,469
They were 'atched by 'Arry!
417
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:51,471
Well, he didn't actually sit on them,
he put them in his side oven.
418
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:55,877
But they were laid
on British Railways property
419
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,957
when they were under
British Railways' care.
420
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:02,834
Now who do they belong to, I ask myself.
421
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:05,155
Would you give a ruling, sir?
422
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,112
Well, you shouldn't be
keeping turkeys here!
423
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,630
- Looking after 'em, sir.
- And you shouldn't keep your rabbits here!
424
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,671
British Railways' rabbits.
425
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,791
Harry snares them
on the banks of the cuttings.
426
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:23,755
They're playing havoc with British Railways
property. They're out of control.
427
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,917
- You must get rid of them!
- They're not his to get rid of!
428
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:29,394
They're British Railways' rabbits.
429
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:33,194
Look, all this has nothing to do
with the matter in hand.
430
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,755
You are all playing fast and loose
with railways regulations.
431
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,918
You've got hens roaming all over your
signal box and laying eggs on the levers.
432
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,918
- Well, they're not mine.
- No, they're not Harry's.
433
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,872
Well, who do they belong to, then? You?
434
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,115
Er, not exactly.
435
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:51,151
Er... they're May's.
436
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:52,838
May's?
437
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:57,431
She uses them in the refreshment room.
She makes wonderful egg sandwiches.
438
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,471
- Egg sandwiches?
- Yeah.
439
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,511
They come from miles around.
440
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,551
Simply miles.
441
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:08,913
And British Railways get the benefit -
because they're so salty, people drink more.
442
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,599
You see, it's all a bit complicated.
443
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:15,758
It is indeed. I'm going to mull over
all this and come to a decision later.
444
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:19,679
- That'll be all. Thank you.
- Thank you, Mr Parkin.
445
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:28,679
May I say, sir, it's a pleasure
to have someone in charge who's so fair
446
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,154
and yet so firm.
447
00:26:32,360 --> 00:26:34,351
Thank you, Mr Lambert.
448
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,839
- Well, how did it go?
- Oh, I don't know.
449
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:56,919
He's got one of those blank faces
so you don't know what he's thinking.
450
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,951
Or if he's thinking at all.
451
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,798
I nearly gave him a
mouthful, I can tell ya.
452
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:05,276
Just one more question
and I'd have let him have it.
453
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,999
He's as pompous as half a dozen bishops.
454
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,349
Oh, he's not like that underneath.
455
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,633
I expect.
456
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,831
Hatley refreshment room.
457
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:23,519
Oh, hello, Mr Parkin.
458
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:26,074
Well, yes, of course you can.
459
00:27:26,120 --> 00:27:28,998
I'll have one ready
for you in five minutes.
460
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,912
- What was all that about?
- That was Mr Parkin.
461
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,838
He says can he have
one of my egg sandwiches?
462
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:40,631
We've made it!
463
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,910
He's bought it!
464
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,597
Well, it's egg sandwiches
all round, then, eh?
465
00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:52,438
And Harry's paying.
466
00:27:54,930 --> 00:27:57,030
corrected by 7kozlov
- www.myfbs.ru -
467
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:19,753
♪ Oh, Dr Beeching, what have you done?
468
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:23,554
♪ There once were lots of trains to catch
but soon there will be none
469
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:27,639
♪ I'll have to buy a bike
cos I can't afford a car
470
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:31,070
♪ Oh, Dr Beeching,
what a naughty man you are
471
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:35,348
♪ Oh, Dr Beeching, what have you done?
472
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:39,234
♪ There once were lots of trains to catch
but soon there will be none
473
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:43,273
♪ I'll have to buy a bike
cos I can't afford a car
474
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:46,756
♪ Oh, Dr Beeching,
what a naughty man you are ♪
38639
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