All language subtitles for Get.Over.It.2001.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC[YTS.MX]

Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

She was the
first girl to see me naked.

Granted we were
7 years old at the time,

but I had a feeling even then.

There's really something about the
first girl you play doctor with.

Maybe it's cosmic or something,

or perhaps it's just that
she's seen your package

and didn't run away screaming.

Whatever it was, Allison and I
were made for each other,

a perfect fit.

So when her family moved away,

i... I knew that someday, somehow,
fate would bring us back together.

? Happiness ?

Berke.

? Happiness ? ? Berke landers ?

It's me, Allison.

Allison McAllister?

Of all the lunchrooms in all
the schools in all the world,

that day, she walked into mine.

It was the perfect romance.

I was dating the most
beautiful girl in school.

And the cool part?
We still played doctor.

? Happiness ?

For the first time in my life,
I was in love,

and I knew
it would last forever.

Boy, was I a dumb-ass.

We need to talk.

Um, you know,
everything in life,

e... even the really great
things,

run their course eventually.

Right?

Trends fade.

Bread molds.

People die.

I guess...

Remember the first time
we kissed?

The feeling, the sparks?

Yeah.

Well, now when we kiss,

the feeling,

it's... it's kind of...

It's kind of gone.

And, berke?

I packed up most of your stuff.

I thought it'd be easier.

Thanks.

? Love ?

? love will keep us together ?

? think of me babe whenever ?

? some sweet-talkin' girl
comes along ?

? singin' a song ?

? don't mess around
you just gotta be strong ?

? just stop
'cause I really love you ?

? stop
I been thinkin' of you ?

? look in my heart
and let love ?

? keep us together ?

? you ?
? you-doo-doo-doo ?

? you belong to me now ?

? doo doo-doo-doo ?

? ain't gonna set you free now ?

? doo-doo-doo ?

? when those girls
start hangin' around ?

? talkin' me down ?

? hear with your heart
and you won't hear a sound ?

? just stop ?
? stop ?

? 'cause I really love you ?

? stop ?
? stop ?

? I've been thinkin' of you ?

? look in my heart
and let love ?

? keep us together ?

? whatever ?

? young and beautiful ?

? someday your looks'll
be gone ?

? when the others turn you off ?

? who'll be turnin' you on? ?

? I will, I will, I will ?

? I will be there
to share forever ?

? love will
keep us together ?

? I said it before
and I'll say it again ?

? while others pretend ?

? I need you now
and I need you then ?

? just stop ?
? stop ?

? 'cause I really love you ?

? stop ?
? stop ?

? I been thinkin' of you ?

? look in my heart
and let love ?

? keep us together ?

? whatever ?

? whatev... whatever ever ever ?
? I will, I will, I will ?

? I will ?? ?

? la-da-da-dah ?

? dah-da-la-la ?

? dah-da-da-dah ?

? sedaka is back ?

? dah-da-da-dah ?

Aaaaaah!

My parents,
frank and Beverly, they host the,

relationship advice show love matters,

Which sounds pretty cool...

This maximizes the pleasure
for both partners.

Exactly, right, right, and, and

while simultaneously allowing
for face-to-face intimacy.

Coolio knows what we're
talking about. What do you think?

You wanna take her for a spin?

We'll be right back.

Here are the cds
you wanted, mom.

Thanks, honey.

You know,
the guests get so cranky

when you haven't heard
their music.

Now, you came home
so early last night.

Don't make it too flat.

Is everything ok with Allison?

No, not really. So maybe we can
talk about it...

Berke, you know the rule.

When we're not
feeling sunny, we...

I don't really want to talk about it here.
I believe the word is share.

Frank, hon, apparently berke
has a problem with Allison.

What's the story, dude? A little snafu
in the old channels of communication?

Boundary issues?
Codependency?

No, it's, it's nothing
like that.

Five minutes, people.

Sex.

She dumped me.

- Darling.
- Aww!

You poor baby!

This probably isn't the best
place to talk about this.

? You got to be insane ?

? that green Jesus ?

? you got to be insane ?

? that green Jesus ?

? you got to be insane ?

? that green Jesus ?

? you got to be insane ?

? that green Jesus ?

? you got to be insane ?

I wanna go home.
It's gonna be fine, man.

It's gonna be better than fine.

I mean, look at all this
new and interesting...

Hey, that's my sister!

? You got to be insane ?

Hey, grabby hands,
step away from the sister.

? You got to be insane ?

Shouldn't you be at, like, a
pajama jammy-jam or somethin'?

What am I,
a year younger than you?

Not than anybody could tell from your
birthday presents... pink rollerblades.

It was a great gift.
Sure.

Can I help you?

No.
Come on, basin.

There's a guy in the corner who says
he'll Pierce our navels for free.

Ooh!
What?

Ok, he's here. He's here.
So?

So I told him I was going
out of town, Maggie.

He's gonna freak
when he finds out I'm here.

Al, you're a free agent now.

Don't you think he needs
to start dealing with that?

You should've seen the look on his
face, Maggie. I mean, he was devastated.

It's gonna take him a while
to get over this. Allison?

Are you sure you're over this?

Allow me.

? Say yeah
what do you want? ?

Who was that? Ouch!

Is this, like, your first time
in the states?

Well, lucky, right?

Are you guys listening
to this candy-ass?

My father's in the foreign service,
so I've spent the last few years abroad...

Shanghai, ludwigshafen.

In fact,
when I was in Amsterdam,

I toured a little bit
with a little pop group

called the swing town lads.

You know,
I knew he looked familiar.

What's up with this accent?
He sounds like Madonna.

She's here.
Who, Madonna?

No. Allison.

It's perfect.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You are not going over there.

You go over there, you might as
well put your stick on a cracker.

You know, it's still only gonna make you
her bitch. You don't want that. It's bad!

Felix, I've taken pisses

longer than your
last three relationships.

Right you are.

Thanks.
You ok?

Yes. Yeah. I think so.

Yes, well, it's a tad
rough-and-tumble out there.

Glad I was here to catch you.

I'm glad you were, too.

Would you care to dance?

She's not your girlfriend
anymore, man.

You know, maybe that's not
such a bad thing.

I mean, next year you guys'll
be going to different schools.

I mean, what were you gonna do,
marry her?

I mean, come on, who marries their
high-school girlfriend, anyway?

And don't say macaulay culkin.

I think I'm gonna call her.

No. Negative.

Have some self-respect, man.

You have called her 40 times
already.

Get outta my way!
Shit.

? I, I stand at attention ?

? whenever you're near ?
? you're near ?

? full speed ahead girl
'cause it's clear ?

? that you are my luv s.C.U.D. ?

He calls himself striker.

"Luv s.C.U.D.?"

So what did he say
when he gave it to you?

I don't know.
He asked me out.

Well,
don't be so nonchalant about it, girl.

I think that boy is razor fine.

? It's so funny to be seein' you ?

Look, berke, don't go...

? After so long, girl ?
my god.

Berke, don't... don't... ? and
the way you look I understand ?

? that you aren't impressed ?

? I heard you let
a little friend of mine ?

? take off your party dress ?

? Allison ?

I can't believe you dated that loser
for a year. ? I know this world ?

? is killin' you ? Knock it off!
We'll call the cops!

? Allison ? Did you hear that?

The neighbors
are screaming at you, berke!

? My aim is... ?
Come on, let's go!

Berke, your aim sucks.

All right, a little to the left, Jessica...
what direction do you think left is?

See, because if you go with
your instinct and reverse it

I think we have
something happening.

How difficult is this?
I... I'm so alone, I think.

I am trying.
You are intimidating me.

Well, you are frightening me!
Do you understand that?

How do you get dressed
in the morning?

Do you have people that come in

or you just lie in state?

"A midsummer night's
rockin' Eve?"

Classical Shakespeare with a contemporary
musical twist.

Hello? My god!
How did you get this number?

You're kidding me!

Ok, either that man has no taste

or he completely hates us.

I think it's a little of both.

Lazario, how's that lobotomy
workin' out for ya?

Asi, asi.
So what's with the smiling?

A week ago you were mired
in rejected drunk-guy mode.

You pass the final or what?
No, I got a 57.

Ouch. Hello, ladies.

I'm sorry, man.
I mean, that's that's gotta suck.

No, just a mild annoyance.
See? Yeah! There you go.

All right, you know,
if she wants to screw around

with that clown, let her, right?

Yeah, for now, anyway.
What's that supposed to mean?

Well, if I'm gonna lose Allison, it's not
going to be to a turd like that, right?

? I'm not upset ?

You know, obviously, there's something
about the guy Allison really likes.

Yeah, obviously.

Come on, landers,
wake up out there!

Fancy moves, crazy legs.

In your face.
God, there he is again.

I don't know how you could take someone
seriously with an accent like that.

Berke, just face it, man.
You're screwed.

I don't think so. I think I can
take this backstreet bitch.

Nice trick, landers, catching
the ball with your face.

Next thing you know, you'll be
shooting three-pointers with your ass.

Berke.

Berke, stop. Berke!

Will you let me look at it, please?
Just go back to practice.

Berke, talk to me.

I just don't understand how you
can replace me with this guy.

Berke, no one can replace you,
you know?

It's just... time to move on.

So everything's just going great
with this, this striker?

No, it... it's just...

Different, you know?
I mean...

He's not like other guys
our age. You know?

He's... he's sophisticated and...

We're even gonna try out for... for
the... the spring musical together.

You hate theater.

No, I don't.

"Captain of the fairy band,

Helena is close at hand."

I'm understanding about every
other word of this shit.

Berke.
Hey.

What happened to your face?
A long story.

A midsummer night's dream?
What, are you gonna try out for the show?

Kinda, sor... maybe.

Well, you know, if you're serious about
it, I'm kinda good at that stuff.

Really?
Have you heard her songs?

She's only like the next Josie Mitchell.
Joni Mitchell.

I... I could actually
use some help.

So tomorrow, coffee?

Ok. Coffee would be great.
Ok.

Bye.
Bye.

"If you're serious,
I'm kinda good at that stuff."

Shut up! "Shut up!"

Did you see Dennis staring at me again?
What? I know.

I told you.
Totally.

Ok, so the first thing
we need to do

is pick you out a monologue
for your audition.

Yeah, this is good.
Lysander, right?

"she sees not hermia.
Hermia sleep thou there..."

no, wait, no. You... you can't, like, run all
the words together. It doesn't work like that.

But that's ok. We'll... we'll
start from the beginning, ok?

It's... it's kind of hard
to understand,

but once you get into it,
the story's actually kind of good.

So, hermia, this girl here,
she's very rich and beautiful

and she lives with her
overbearing parents in Athens.

Now, hermia has everything
a girl could ask for,

cool clothes, nice complexion and her
pick of pretty much any guy she wants.

But of all the guys
in the greater Athens area,

hermia's heart belongs to the
handsome young nobleman, lysander.

This would all be perfect
if it weren't for Demetrius.

Hermia's father already
promised her hand to him,

and he's just as charming and handsome
as lysander, maybe even more so.

Not to mention, Demetrius will stop
at nothing to make hermia his bride.

This pretty much
leaves lysander screwed.

All right. Got it.

You make it, very easy.

We just started.

Kelly, I'm not exactly
trying to win an Oscar here.

I'm just trying to get
my girlfriend back. Thanks.

Hi! How are you?

Hi, new faces,
how are you today?

I'm Dr. Desmond forrest oates,

fine arts chair
and all that hoopla.

The purpose of these proceedings

is to separate
the wheat from the chaff.

And I think we might be amazed that
among us is a new glimmering star,

our school's next...

Well, our next Peter wong.

Hey, petey.

Cool shirt.

For those of you
who don't make the cut,

please, I beg of you,
don't despair.

There's always stage crew.

And if you've ever had a
conversation with a crew member,

you know how much fun that can be.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
I couldn't resist it.

You egg me on, is the problem.

All right, the procedure is
gonna be very, very, very basic.

We're gonna start
with the singing audition.

Ok? So loosen up
those diaphragms, kiddies.

It's time to impress.

? Where
the bee sucks there suck I ?

? in a cowslip's bell I lie ?

? there I couch
when owls do cry ?

? on the bat's back I do fly ?

? after summer merrily-y-y-y-y ?

? take a look
here I am ?

? can't you see? ?

? One simple smile from you
could set me free ?

? so if you take a look ?

? let your heart be your guide ?

? I'll show you love ?

? if you take a look ?

? at the girl inside ?

That was... that was fun.
Who's the composer on that?

Me, actually.

I'm sorry, were you... were you
expecting an applause on that?

This is an audition, not t.R.L.

I know that.

Who's next? "Bentley scrumfeld."

One of the original swing town
lads, if I'm not mistaken.

I see you know your boy groups,
sir.

I follow the popular arts.

To me they're so dope.

If you don't mind,
I'd like to accompany myself.

Put that down.

Thank you.

This one's kind of
a personal favorite of mine.

?

? It's so funny ?

? to be seeing you
after so long, girl ?

? and the way you look
I understand ?

? that you are not impressed ?

? but I heard you let
that little friend of mine ?

? take off your party dress ?

My.

? Allison ?

? I know this world
is killin' you ?

? Allison ?

? My aim is true ?
he's the best one.

He's the best one
we've seen so far.

? My aim is ?

True.

Very nice, Mr. Striker.

That is very impressive indeed.

That's, that's... wow.

Alrighty. Well,
if there's no one else...

Wait. What?

May I help you? Berke landers.
I'm here to audition.

Berke landers. Goody for me.

I'd like to read a monologue
by oberon in the third act.

I can't wait to hear it, but first
I need to hear your singing audition.

Excuse me?

The procedure, Mr. Landers,

is that we sing first
and then we read later.

Jessica, could you help me here?

I-i-i-i-I'm sinking
in quicksand, unfortunately,

with this boy.

Sing first, read later.
Sing first, read later.

Any song?
Any song you want.

? Kiss a little
longer make it last a little longer ?

Projection, Mr. Berke,
projection.

? Kiss a little longer ?

? stay close a little longer ?

? Hold tight a little longer ?

? longer with big red ?

? that big red freshness
lasts right through it ?

? your fresh
breath goes on and on ?

? while you chew it ?

? so say goodbye
a little longer ?

? make it last a little longer ?

? give your breath
long-lasting freshness ?

? with big red ?

Yeah. What's going on?

Nothing.

I'm just sitting here
watching Chester

screw the rubber tree.

What is that?
Some kind of expression?

No, no, no, no. My aunt's dog is
staying with us for a couple of weeks.

And, apparently, he's got
some sort of hormonal imbalance.

Wow...

Is Kelly there?
What?

Kelly. Your sister.
Is she there?

Why? 'Cause she did
a favor for me today.

Just put her on, ok?
Ok.

Hold, please.

Berke landers. Since when do
my friends start calling you?

Since today. Hey.

So how was I?

You were really...
Ok.

Sorry. I thought you knew
about the singing.

Minor detail.
You were cute.

You wanna tell Allison that?

Well, I hope
you get in the play.

What?
Felix?

I can hear you breathing!

Hello?

All right,
everyone, coming through!

Out of my way! Part!

Please! Excuse me. Thank you.

Ok, ev... all right!

Demetrius! Yes!

Congratulations, fair hermia.
You're kidding.

I knew you'd get it.

All right, people,
this play is gonna rock!

Chorus? You've got to be
shitting me.

Helena? My god!

Good news?
Sorry, I just...

I really had my heart set
on that part.

That's... that's good.

Look, there's you.
Yeah.

Well, let's hope attendant #3
doesn't have any songs.

Felicitations, miss woods.
Thank you so much.

It's a lead role.
I know.

Methinks thou best not botch it.

I remember what the wonderful
Bobby de niro once said to me.

Well, not to me,
but I read it in an article.

And it was considering landing the
big roles, and what he said was,

"just because god blesses you,

does not mean there isn't
another sneeze coming."

Anyway, see you
at Thursday's rehearsal.

You, too.

Dr. Forrest oates, that's...
That's kinda gonna be a problem.

See, next week we got all
the, basketball playoffs.

Now, let me tell you something,
bub.

This is your theatrical debut!

I want you to take it seriously!

I want you to give it
half the dedication, just half

that I gave my own.

To be or not to be.
That is the question.

Those were the salad days.

Although these are good.

Thursday, none of this,
jock head.

Let's go! Jessica, what...
Why are you, look... what...

Come on, come on,
come on, come on.

Excuse me, I'm a teacher.
Thanks.

Let's go, let's go!

Where are you goin', landers?

Landers!

So in summation,
lysander loves hermia,

who loves lysander,
but is betrothed to Demetrius,

who in turn is the object
of Helena's affection.

Now do you see the fun of it?

It's just all hell
done break loose.

Mickey Rourke said a wonderful
thing about having fun.

He was at some big soiree that
Liza minnelli was throwing...

Mr. Landers,
how nice of you to join us.

And thanks for not showering.
What a super instinct.

The secret to all this, you see,

is that our four young lovers

are not as in control of their
romantic destinies as they think

because in the woods,
we have what?

Fairies.
Fairies! Fairies!

Spirits! Spirits.

Specifically,
titania, oberon and puck.

Little Steve.
Steven.

Who delight in manipulating
their human counterparts...

For sport.

It really is fun to see a
bunch of fairies being played...

Holy shit, little Steve,
you've got wings!

Yeah, well, you've got fairy
dust coming out of your ass.

Come on, guys.
Let's stir up some trouble.

Fair hermia, thou art
so incredibly hot and stuff.

Hey, red, follow us. You can't see
us, but you'll do what we say.

Suckers.

Yo, dude, somebody's scammin'
on your chick.

Time to kick some ass.

Demetrius, what say you?

Relent, sweet hermia.

And you, lysander,

yield thy crazed title
to my certain right.

En garde. What?
There's no sword fighting in this play.

Well, now there is.

Off you go.

When it rains, it pours.

Mr. Landers!

Are we having r.E.M.?

Musical Shakespeare?
Calling my sister?

She's helping me out.
My sister?

Yeah.
She knows what she's doing.

Whatever. Berke.
This isn't about her, all right?

This is about you
running after Allison.

And I'm sorry,
but it's bullshit.

See you out there.

That's it. We gotta find our boy
somebody, quick.

You don't just arbitrarily
replace someone's soul mate.

I mean, look at that old lady
from Titanic.

She didn't never get over that.

I'm not just talking
about anybody.

Look, you still take shop
with dora Lynn tissdale, right?

Yeah. Um, last week, she nearly took
out half the class with a nail gun.

So she's a bit clumsy.

Thanks to good old dora Lynn,

Dickie bergwell
has to take a crap standing up.

Dennis, we're not asking her

to build an apartment complex,
are we?

And what makes you think
she's gonna do it?

Look, that's your problem,
all right?

I'll take care of berke.

Dennis heard it firsthand.
The girl's completely into you.

No, that's... that's bullshit.
Why would I make this up?

I mean, I'm presenting you here
with a golden opportunity,

the Stanley cup of blind dates,

New Zealand's gift
to rosner high.

I mean, those eyes,
that mouth, the rack.

Aren't you forgetting something?

Ok, yeah,
she's a little accident-prone.

The girl's a
walking disaster zone.

Wherever she goes,
bad shit happens.

My god!

I mean, weird bad shit happens.

She missed six years
at the high school.

She was in a coma for Christ's sakes.

Berke, she's beautiful.
Yeah.

She's built.
Yeah.

And apparently, she's totally
willing to lower her standards,

so I really don't see
anything wrong with this.

It's your turn to get the ball.

I'm not getting the ball.
You get the ball.

Hey, dora Lynn? Dora.

Kinda got this favor to a... ask you.

Favor? What kind of favor?

Just stop, drop, and roll!

Berke, don't be nervous.

I'm here because I want to be.
Me, too.

We never really had a chance
to talk.

Well, I think that had a lot to do with
the fact that I was busy with Allison

and you kinda had your
hands full with the whole...

Coma thing?
Yeah.

Yeah.
Yeah.

You know, berke,

it's all about new beginnings.

That stuff about me being
bad luck? Ancient history.

I'm moving on with my life,
and you're moving on with yours.

Sorry.

Would you excuse me
for one minute?

I kinda have to...

Pee?
Yeah.

Ok.
Ok.

[ Japanese instrumentation ]

Waitress,
can I have some more tea?

I love...!

Tits! Wow!

Check, please!

? I'm dreaming of a boy
a very special guy ?

? I wish that I could pluck
a fairy from the sky ?

? to cast a spell
upon my pride and joy ?

? I'm dreaming
of a very special boy ?

Time. Time.

It's just not very good.

I could lie to you,
but I would do you a disservice

because it's... it's just bad.
You've got to commit.

? I'm dreaming
of a boy a very special guy ?

And then, "I wish that I could pluck,
pluck! I wanna see you pluck it!

You know what I mean?
We'll talk about it later.

Ok, enter theseus.

Now, attendants,
a rogue suitor...

Is spooning
with the master's daughter.

Well,
this is totally scandalous.

So you must look shocked,
you must look amazed.

Let's see you look shocked.

I said shocked, Mr. Landers,
not constipated.

My dear god. Go, del.

Go bid the huntsmen.
Wake them with their horns.

Hold it. Yes, um...

Um, well, can i...

You'd tell me
if you'd had a stroke.

And eight.
One, two, three, four...

What?
What?

Are you lost?

Um, no. Actually, i... I signed
up for stage crew, and i...

Stage crew? Then shouldn't you
be over there?

Right.

My lord, I shall reply amazedly.

Half sleep, half waken,
I came with hermia hither.

Our intent was to be gone
from Athens,

where we might, without
the peril of athenian law,

be wed.

Save it for show night, wong.

Sorry, striker.

? What do you get
when you fall in love? ?

? A girl with a pin
to burst your bubble ?

? that's what you get
for all your trouble ?

? I'll ?

? never fall in love again ?

? I'll never fall in love ?

? what do you get
when you kiss a girl? ?

? You know what?

I'd ask you what the hell
you're even doing here,

but if some stranger had dazzled his
way into my ex-girlfriend's fancies,

I'd probably be
doing the same thing,

only I'd have a bigger part.

You dropped your sword.

? I'll never fall in love
again ?

? don't tell me what it's all ?

? about ?

? 'cause I've been there
and I'm glad I'm out ?

? out of those chains those chains that
bind you ? I am so sorry. Big... big game.

? And that is what
I'm here to remind you ?

Substitution. Sorry, sir.
There was a big accident.

You are so lucky
I am not Bobby knight.

And we got playoffs next week and
you've got an obligation to the team.

Now get out there!
Yes, sir!

Substitution for
rosner, berke landers.

Hey, landers, nice ass!

I'm gonna go now.

? Never fall in love again ?

Yeah, I'll see you guys later.
Have a good night.

Don't stop because of me.

Sorry. I... I just never get
to play a real piano at home.

So you've been a busy guy
lately.

Yeah, dating a pyromaniac,
showing my ass in public.

Well, it's all
in the name of love, right?

Right.

Play me something.

No.
Come on. It sounded good.

I'm embarrassed.

I love writing songs, but it...

What's the problem?

Well, you were at the audition,
berke.

Forrest oates hated my song.

Well,

I admired you for putting
yourself out there like that,

and, you know,
for whatever it's worth,

i... i... I thought it was
a really nice song.

Thanks.

This is a song I wrote.

? ? b, c ?

? d, e, f, g ? god!

Bring it on.

? H, I, j, k, l, m, n, o, p ?

Showoff.

Berke.
Yeah. Hey, Felix.

How do you feel
about half-naked women?

Would you mind
telling me where we're going?

Suffice to say, Dennis and I,
we discussed it

and decided that
this is exactly what you need.

It looks like we
have a very special guest with us tonight,

a young man recently jilted
by his longtime lady love.

Hey, see you later, Casanova.

Yeah.
What's that?

It's Monday madness, people.

You know what that means.

Behold my majestic,
corseted form!

Police! I want to see some ids,
and I want to see them quick!

My god!
Sorry!

Hey, can somebody
get me down? Please?

Jesus, mother of god!

I must say,
you surprised us, berke.

It's not every day you get
a wake-up call from the cops

saying your son's been pinched
in a sex club raid.

That said, your father and I
have discussed it...

And we'd just like to say... we
are so incredibly proud of you.

What?

For getting on with your life.

Most kids your age are way
ill-equipped to deal with heartache.

But not you, mister.
You got right back on that horse.

Or should I say, suspension harness?
Stop it.

Mom, dad, I just got arrested. Shouldn't
you be, like, pissed or something?

Why? Sexual curiosity
is perfectly natural.

We just had no idea you
were so kinky. Yeah.

Hey, who's up for frozen yogurt?

Ooh, sounds good to me.

Well, then again, berke may want
to go home and Polish the rocket.

Yogurt's good.

Ok.

Ok, Dennis.

What?
Bring her up.

Ladies and gentlemen,

introducing
prisoner number 6943.

Bravo, landers, bravo.

You know, you do take
a stunning picture.

Striker,
I'd be careful about that accent

because you're beginning to
sound a lot like Mary poppins.

Look, I don't know what you're
blathering about, but if I were you...

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

What?
Are you wearing makeup?

That's it.

Ooh.

Careful, landers.
I do believe you are trifling with danger.

Who keeps nunchucks
in their pants?

Peter wong is down!

Look on the bright side, wong.

You're a singer, not a dancer.

I'll kill you, you ant-kissing,
pretentious, swing town twit!

This is my theater!
My show!

Forrest oates
is my special buddy!

That was intense.

I know. I've never seen bone poke
through skin like that before.

All right then, everything's going to
be fine, according to the paramedics.

In fact, Peter will be
back on his feet in no time.

Still, in the words
of the wonderful Kevin spacey,

the show must go on.

So since curtain is,
indeed, in three days,

I'm now accepting offers from
volunteers for the role of lysander.

Ooh! Ooh!

Put your hand down,
little Steve!

Ooh.

No, not striker,
you already have a role.

Yes, I know, but I was wanting
to nominate someone.

Well,
that's very flattering, indeed,

but I don't think a man of 34 can
possibly keep up with you youngsters.

Actually, I was referring to...

Berke landers.

Well, th...

That's an intriguing thought.

Any other ideas?

Ooh!
One that I might use?

Put your hand down,
little Steve!

Well, he's green, to be sure,
but he does demonstrate

a certain... enthusiasm.

I'm in.

You're in?
Yeah, I'm in.

Jessica, call domino's.
We'll be here a while.

And keep icing your front bum!

Swelling continues when you don't
ice, and I need you.

Not really.

So how many swords do we have?

Seven.
Eight.

I swear, if Allison doesn't
appreciate this... then what?

Anyway, I've heard you
do the dialogue. You're fine.

Yeah, but what about the singing?
Well, the music sucks.

Especially my song.

Well, why don't you,
why don't you rewrite it?

Forrest oates
would never go for it.

Kelly, you're the best one in the play. You
know more about this stuff than he does.

Yeah, but he doesn't see it
that way.

Forrest oates
just cast me as a lead.

He's an idiot, Allison.

My name...

Is Kelly.

What'd I say?
Allison.

No, I didn't.
Yeah, you did.

I'm sorry.
Prepare to die.

Maybe y... you shouldn't
be playing with that.

Put... com... put it down.

Put it... k... Kelly.

Aaaah!

We have an 18-year-old
white male

with an anterior puncture wound
to his left arm.

My god, I'm so sorry, berke.
I thought it was a prop. I wanna see it.

No, don't look at it.
It's pretty bad, isn't it?

No, it's... it's fine.
Here, listen to me, berke.

The doctor's gonna fix your arm
and I'm gonna help you rehearse

and you're gonna be
the best lysander ever, ok?

And your arm, it's really not that...
my god!

? Bah-bah
bah-de-dah dah-bah-bah ?

? bah-bah
bah-de-dah dah-bah-bah ?

? bah-bah bah-de-dah
dah-bah-bah dah-de-dah ?

? bah-bah
bah-de-dah dah-bah-bah ?

? bah-bah
bah-de-dah dah-bah-bah ?

? bah-bah bah-de-dah
dah-bah-bah dah-de-dah ?

? I'm just saying that Thursday night
you've kept Kelly's ass out till 12:15.

Felix, it's Kelly. All right?

She's helping me out with the part.
Ok, ok, ok.

Just keep an eye on her, man.

You know, 'cause some
of those theater guys

they have this reputation
of being kinda...

Gay? See,
that's what they want you to think.

I'll keep an eye on her.

? Bah-bah bah-de-dah
dah-bah-bah dah-de-dah ?

? forty-eight hours
I'm still havin' it bad ?

? thirty-two to go
I was virtually dead ?

? makin' a mess
on someone's desk ?

? I did it again
bah-dah-dah-dah dah-dah ?

? started lookin' for someone
the kind is you ?

? all the other places were
there are nothin' to do ?

? so waste the morning and
hang in bed nobody cares ?

So when do your parents leave for
this affiliate stuff? Today.

Don't even think about it.
What?

Felix, I can hear your brain
planning a party. No.

I'll... I'll see you guys la...
I gotta get something.

Hey, why is he going into the music store?
I don't know.

He's probably buying tap shoes
or some shit like that,

which only further demonstrates
my point, my friend.

That man is in dire need of a party.

Yes?

Hi. I know you're busy, but I just
wanna talk to you for one second.

Miss woods, please come in...

Fun hair clip.

I wanted to talk to you
about my song.

"pocketful of dreams."

I originally wrote that tune
for miss Diana Ross.

Miss Ross! Miss Ross!

I've written a very groovy song!

I think you'd li...!

That's my hand, buddy!
Aah! Miss Ross!

Miss Ross! Diana!

Unfortunately,
the lawyers got involved,

and then bullshit, bullshit,
bullshit, bullshit.

And then, the next thing
you know... phtt! No deal.

It's a great song. I love singing it.
It was fun to write.

It's just that I was wondering
if you... if you wouldn't mind...

If I made a few suggestions.

You've made
s... some suggestions?

"O weary night,

abate thy hours."

Well, i... I just figured, you know, like
you said, the song really isn't working.

I'd like you to do me a favor,
if you will, miss woods.

I'd like you to read this poster and
tell me what it says at the bottom.

"No food or drink allowed
in the auditorium at any time."

It says, "12 original songs

by Dr. Desmond forrest oates."

That part.
Yes, that part.

I'll tell you
what it doesn't say.

It doesn't say,
"additional lyrics

by little miss sassy-pants."

You know, some of those lyrics
are Shakespeare's.

And what was the last tune
you hummed from Macbeth?

Bill Shakespeare
is a wonderful poet,

but Burt Bacharach, he ain't.

I'll go.

Sorry I'm late.
That's... that's ok.

I was just getting lucky.
Chester!

We need... we need... we need...
We need to find this dog a date.

So,
how was... how was forrest oates?

A bigger asshole than I thought.

Maybe this will make you feel a
little better. A gift? Berke.

First we rehearse, ok?

Ok.
All right.

? So that's the
girl that I've got to have ?

? I'll tell you why... ?

It's 21 hours until the play,

and I'm actually
starting to suck more.

Look, let's just put the songs
aside for a second.

We'll work on some dialogue.

We're at the point where theseus
has just woken everybody up.

All right.

Hi.
Hi.

Ok, this scene's
between you and hermia.

So pretend I'm Allison, ok?
Sure.

As difficult as that might be.

No, go ahead.

So theseus says,

"go, wake them
with their horns."

And hermia says,

"methinks I see things
with parted eye,

when everything seems double."

Ok, I got it.

My lord, I reply amazedly,

half asleep, half awake.

I came with hermia hither.

Our intent is to leave Athens...

Where we may be married.

And then there's the kiss...

Which is gonna be with Allison.

Right.

But in this case...

Shit.

What? Hey,
let me take a shot in the dark.

Berke's there, right?
Felix, where are you?

Big party. Hey, listen.

Tell, tell berke he might
wanna stop by

because there's some, people
who've been asking about him.

We gotta go to your house.

Well, well. I'm impressed.

Turnout's not half-bad.
Where's Felix?

Dude, you should
really breathe, man.

I mean, you look like
you're gonna stroke out.

Look, I'm gonna look
for him over here, ok?

You realize
I'm going to kill him.

Felix!

Felix!
If it isn't my beauteous costar.

Have you seen my brother Felix?
Fair Helena.

So tense. A few
pre-show jitters, perhaps?

Or maybe some love pangs
for a certain you-know-who.

You!
Berke! What's up?

So what do you think?
What do I think? What do I think?

What are you talking about?

Frankly, I don't know
what you girls see

in this undereducated wank.

Perhaps you can take me
out to the veranda and...

Edify me.

Shit, it's striker.

Look, I'll see you at the show.
What the hell is going on?

Nothing.
Just a bit of tomfoolery.

Felix, I'm handling it. No,
you're being handled by leather pants here.

There's a difference.
I think you better go.

Come on. Do you really think
I'd fool around on Allison?

You, of all people, should know
how damnable that would be.

Now, where's the grub?
This way? Thank you.

Guys.

Is it just me or does this punch
taste kind of funky?

There's chunks.

Hi.

I... i... -I've been wondering
where you've been.

We have to talk about striker.

No, no. You will stop
at nothing, will you?

Allison. Allison.

Striker?
Allison!

Maggie.

Allison, i'm... I'm so sorry.

You can all just go to hell.

Hey, you.

Sorry about
this whole party thing.

My brother is
kind of an asshole.

Kind of?

I'm seriously considering
telling mom

where he keeps his porn.

That was a joke.

Kelly, why do you
hang out with me?

I mean, you probably have
better things to do

than to, waste your time
with a hapless loser.

You're not a loser, berke.
Allison thinks so.

Allison's an idiot.

I have done...

Absolutely everything
for that girl.

She just doesn't get it.

I can't do this.

Kelly, I think you're great,
but we can't... we can't do this.

You're Felix's little sister.

Screw you.

Kelly, wait a second.
That came out wrong!

What was that?
Felix, it's not what you think.

What the hell has gotten into you?
Aah.

Well, well! Why am I suddenly
glad we left the conference early?

I don't recall anything
about a party, berke.

We could have sprung
for a deejay.

Make sure and put the furniture
back when you're done.

Mom, dad, reverend's daughter,
Judy, just took a dump in our pool

and you want to spring
for a deejay?

That's what makes us so fly!

We trust you.

You're my parents, for god's sakes.
Stop trusting me!

Poor Judy.
I'll go get the skimmer.

Well, this is
pretty interesting.

It was nothing.
Kelly, I was there.

He kissed you,
and I don't know why he did it.

I mean, berke's pretty screwed
up right now, but...

Look, I kissed him, too.

And, yes, he is screwed up, and he
likes someone else, and it's a problem,

but, Felix, it's my problem.

Look, you'd know I'd be lying if
I said I was happy about this.

But, um, if berke can't see what
an amazing person you are...

Then I'd say that he's the one
with the problem.

Good night.

Hey, it's... it's me.
It's berke.

Just wanted to say thanks
for all your help.

The guy at the music store said that
songwriters use these things, so...

If anyone can fix forrest oates'
song, it's... it's definitely you.

Just know that i... I
believe in you, Kelly.

Um... break a leg.

? Now I've fallen in deep ?

? slow, silent sleep ?

? it's killing me ?

? I'm dying ?

Hey, let's mess with the mortals
one more time.

Boyfriend'll be
trippin' on this.

One more dose for Mr. Morose.

It's time for a little
wake-up call.

And I'm outta here.

And in the woods,
where the scents are sweet,

there my lysander and myself
shall meet.

Maybe it's time you started
dreaming of someone else.

Berke.
You were my first.

No one's ever gonna replace you.

I've dazzled my way into
your ex-girlfriend's fancies.

You were the quintessential
high-school couple.

She's not your girlfriend
anymore, man.

I'm moving on with my life,
and you're moving on with yours.

Are we freaking you out?
Yeah, we're freaking him out.

Dr. Forrest oates,
the attendants' costumes just arrived.

Thank Buddha.

And, your wife called.

She might not make it
to tonight's performance.

Did she say why?

It was difficult to understand
through the slur.

And, sir?
There is one more thing.

Del molden, Jr. is sick.

My dance partner?

That's enough out of you,
mcmouth!

Now, apparently, he got hold of some
tainted fruit punch last night...

And won't be able to perform.

Not that it matters at all,

because the entire production's
going down in flames, so...

That having been said,

I'm curious if anyone
feels that they can fill

the little booze hound's place.

Good. Let me ask you this.

Is there anyone who, at all,
is good on their feet?

A shuffle, or a turn,
or an attitude of any kind

with a pose?

Well...

Sometimes, coach hibble

calls me crazy legs.

Does he?

Wait. Wait a second.

All right, maybe if you
took a half step back

before the spin.

Ok, just follow my lead.

I learnt this from
watching in the wings.

Wow!

Felix!

Kelly, shouldn't you
be getting ready?

I am. I'm in makeup.

Listen, I need you
to do a favor for me.

Ladies and gentlemen,
please take your seats.

The performance
is about to begin.

It's over.

After this one,
I'll be directing on the streets.

? All the doo-dah night
all the doo-dah day ?

? bet my money
on a bobtail nag ?

? somebody bet on the bay ?

Hey.

Break a leg.

Go... go ahead, Jessica.

Raise the curtain on the tragedy

that has befallen
the bard's greatest comedy.

I'm praying for you, sir.
Thanks.

? Did ya ever read
a Shakespeare play ?

? ooh-ooh ? ? and never
understand a word they say? ?

? ? ? well,
tonight we're gonna make things clear ?

? 'cause Shakespeare's dead ?

? but we're all here ?

? William Shakespeare
wrote a play ?

? a long, long time ago ?

? about this chick
named hermia ?

? and the two guys who
loved her so ? ? whoa- ?

? they said, hermia,
please be my girl ?

? but she only wanted one ?
? she wanted one ?

? and the night
the fairies came to play ?

? that's the night
we have our fun ?

? 'cause I love him ?
? and I love her ?

? if only her best friend
he'd prefer ?

? and so the fairies
all hatched a scheme ?

? in this
boom-shacka-lacka-lacka ?

? midsummer night's dream ?

? midsummer night's dream ?

? midsummer night's dream ?

Look, there's Helena.

Fair Helena.

Call you me fair?
That fair again unsay.

Doesn't Kelly look beautiful?

Demetrius and lysander
love your fair, hermia.

Happy fair.

? Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ?
do it.

Yeah, baby.
Do it.

? Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
ooh-ooh-waah- ?

? it's fun to be a fairy
and fly from town to town ?

? our fairy dust will keep
you up you won't come down ?

? yeah, it's fun to be a fairy
and wear such pretty things ?

? it's fun to carry love juice
on your fairy wings, yeah ?

? what fools these mortals be ?

? that try to play at love
and make a comedy, yeah ?

? why can't
these mortals learn ?

? a fairy up above
will never crash and burn ?

? yeah, it's fun to be a
fairy ? ? that's right ?

? ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah
it's fun to be a fairy ?

? that's right ?
? ooh-ooh-ooh, yeah ?

? it's fun to be a fairy
- I like it ?

? it's fun to be a fairy ? ? give it
up, give it up give it up, give it up ?

? it's fun to be a fairy ?
it's fairy power!

That was, that was ok!

Relent...
Sweet hermia.

And, lysander,
yield thy crazed title

to my certain right.

You have her father's love,
Demetrius.

Let me have hermia's.

Do you marry him?

Shit, butt-wanker. Dick-weed.

It's so real,
you can almost feel the tension.

Word.

? Whoo-ooh-ooh
why won't you love me? ?

? Whoo-ooh-ooh
whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh ?

? there's a girl ?
? who says she don't love me ?

? so that's the girl ?
? that I got to have ?

? I'll tell you why ? ? she's
everything a girl ought to be ?

? and that is why ?
? I can't understand ?

? why she don't love me ?
no ?

? hermia ?

? I'll make you love me ?

? hermia ?

? I'll make you care ?

? never before has a girl ?

? hurt me more ?

? I'm begging hermia ?

? please love me ?

Bitch.
Panzy.

? Why won't you love me? ?

? Please love me ?

Asshole.

I'll apply to your eye
gentle lover's remedy.

And when thou wakest,

thou will takest true delight...

In the sight
of thy true lover's eye.

Ok, people, we're back in 20.

Berke, berke, I, um,
I want to talk to you about something.

Can we go somewhere?
Yeah.

Thank you.

Well.

I could use a drink.
Yeah.

Kaisha, you're just not equipped to
deal with this. I'm talking equipment.

Hardware. We're talking 800 number.
She wants a blow-up doll, right?

I called them once for advice.

Really?

Yeah. I had zits on my balls.

They're gone now.

Gentlemen, I'm here for a favor.

In act four, scene one,

there's a particular
effects cue.

The volk tube crescendo.

Right. Now, is this the one?

No. That one
could take out a village.

I see.

Well, I was wondering
if you might be able

to detonate it a bit...
Early.

Isn't that before
Mr. Lander's cross?

Look, all it'll do is scare him.

I can signal you
by raising my sword like this.

Look, about this whole thing with
striker, I'm sorry I didn't believe you.

I'm sorry you had to find out
like that. It kinda sucked.

Look, i... I know I don't deserve to
ask you anything right now, but...

If I could just have one wish,

it would be that we could
go back to the way things were.

You know?

I... I mean, the friends part.
Yeah, sure.

And as for the rest of it,
well...

We'll just leave it up to fate.

Did I mention there was
$47 in it for you?

Not bad.

I believe,
Mr. Scrumfeld,

we have an understanding.

Remember, gentlemen,
when I raise my sword.

Hey, the... the music's
been, been... been good,

but, you know that song,
"a pocketful of, dreams?"

Down here we call it "pocketful
of ass." Yeah, that's the one.

Listen, there's been
a change of plans.

This is different.

A spell had been cast,

the lovers sleep,

though in repose,

fair Helena's love
for Demetrius grows.

O weary night,

abate thy hours.

Steal me awhile
from my own company.

? Let me sleep ?

? for when I sleep I dream ?

? that you are here ?

? you're mine ?

? and all my fears ?

? are left behind ?

? I float ?

? on air ?

? the nightingale sings ?

? gentle lullabies ?

? so let me close my eyes ?

Jessica! Jessica!

? And sleep
perchance to dream ?

? so I can see the face ?

? I long to touch ?

? to kiss ?

? but only dreams ?

? can bring me this ?

? so let the moon ?

? shine softly on the boy ?

? I long to see ?

? and maybe when he dreams ?

? he'll dream of me ?

? Hide beneath the clouds ?

? and whisper
to the evening star ?

? they tell me love ?

? is just a dream away ?

? dream away ?

? I'll dream away ?

? So let the moon ?

? shine softly on the boy ?

? I long to see ?

? and maybe when he dreams ?

? he'll dream of me ?

? dream of me ?

Whoo!

Go bid the huntsmen. Wake them
with... with their horns.

My lord, I shall reply amazedly,

half sleep, half waking.

I came with hermia hither.

Our intent was to be gone
from Athens, so we might,

without the peril
of athenian law, be wed.

However...

What?
"However?"

My lord,

we slept and slept,

as well you know.

Things did change,

as love did grow.

Although,

in ways, fair hermia's soul and
mine shall forever intertwine.

Alas, we must forever part,

for lo, to another
belongs this heart.

Wait a second! Wait a second.
You can't do that!

You can't just change
400-year-old literature!

It's not even supposed to rhyme!

Fine.

I could do it, too.
I do not like it in a moat.

I do not like it in a boat. I do not
like it in a car. Now, how's that?

Boo!

Stop cheering.

Stop cheering!

Stop cheering!
Do it now!

Stop... whoa!

Thanks.
You're welcome.

What is that?

It's applause, sir.

Thank you. Thank you!

Thank you!

My god. Are you crying?

No, you're just squeezing
my puncture wound.

Make it a little more like this.

You were trying to fly into my
seat, weren't you? No.

Come on.
Well, maybe just a little.

See, I knew it.
You're so bad, yet I love it.

Just... just hold on
for one... second.

I'll... I'll be right back, ok?

So...

You and my sister?

You're not gonna hit me
again, are you? No.

No, but I'm not thrilled.
All right, man?

But if it has to be somebody,

um, I'm kinda glad it's you.

Thanks.

Hey, kel.
Hey.

Hey, good job tonight.
You guys were good.

You guys were funny.
Thanks.

Listen, i'm, I gotta go.

You and dora Lynn.
Yeah.

Aren't you kind of worried
about the whole...

Accident-prone? No, no.

Well, I think dora Lynn's
about to have a change of luck.

Go, Felix.
I'll see you guys later.

All right.
Let's get some dim sum.

Bye, berke.

My god.

That's ok. That's fine.

And he blew off that stage
20 feet at least.

And then she took off

like this beautiful spaceship
into the night.

Dude, we burned the shit
out of his face.

Tomorrow night, same thing.

So my theatrical debut...

What did you think?

You came on pretty strong
in that last act.

Yeah, I was good.

So you know we gotta do this
again tomorrow night.

How do you think it's gonna end?

We could bring back
the always popular big red song.

I'd rather be shot again
with an arrow.

I thought it was a prop.

Yeah, yeah.

? Do you remember ?

? the 21st night of September? ?

? Love was changing the minds
of pretenders ?

? while chasing
the clouds away ?

? hey-yeah, yeah ?

? our hearts were ringin' ?

? in the key that our souls
were singin' ?

? and as we danced in the night
remember ?

? how the stars
stole the night away ?

? everybody, sing yeah ?

? ba-de-ya
say do you remember ?

? say that you remember ?
? ba-de-ya ?

Dancing in September ?
? yeah, whoo-ooh ?

? ba-de-ya
never was a cloudy day ?

? there never
there never, yeah ?

? ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya ?
? hey ?

? do you feel it do you feel it?
? ? ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya ?

? hey ?
? ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya ?

? ooh, ooh-ooh ?
? ba-da-ba-da-yea ?

? somebody help me sing ?

? my thoughts are with you ?

? holding hands
with your heart to see you ?

? and only blue talk and love
remember ?

? how we knew love
was here to stay ?

? now December ?

? I found the love
that we shared in September ?

? only blue talk and love
remember ?

? true love we share today ?

? ooh-ooh, sing it ?
? ba-de-ya ?

? what you say now? ?
? Say do you remember ?

? ba-de-ya ?
? hey, what you say now? ?

? Dancing in September ?
? ooh! ?

? Ba-de-ya ?
? come on ?

? never was a cloudy day ?

? there never there never,
whoa ?

? ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya ?
? hey ?

? ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya ?
? do you feel it? ?

? Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya ba-de-ya ?
? do you feel it? Hey ?

? ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya
ba-de-ba-de-yea ? ? right ooh ?

? bring it down right now ?

? the bells were ringing ?

? our love was singing ?

? do you remember ?

? never a cloudy day ?

? somebody help me sing ?

? ba-de-ya say do you
remember ? ? yeah ?

? say that you remember ?
? ba-de-ya ?

? dancing in September ba-de-ya
? ? it never rain, rain ?

? never was a cloudy day ?
? never a cloudy day ?

? ooh-ooh sing it ?

? ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya ?
? what you say now? ?

? Ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya ?
? sing it again ?

? ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya ba-de-ya
? ? what you say now? Ooh ?

? what you say now? Hey ?

? yeah-yeah ?

? hey, hey ?

? come on sing it again ?

? come on ?

? sing it again yeah-hey-hey ?

? ba-de-yea ?? ?

? ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya ba-de-ya,
ba-de-ya ? ?

? Sing it again whoa, yeah ?

? ba-de-ya, ba-de-ya ba-de-ya ? ??

? ba-de-ba-de-yeah ?

? It's so funny to be
seein' you after so long girl ?

? and with the way you look
I understand ?

? that you are not impressed ?

? but I heard you let
that little friend of mine ?

? take off your party dress ?

? I'm not going to get
too sentimental ?

? like those other
sticky valentines ?

? 'cause I don't know if
you've been loving somebody ?

? I only know it isn't mine ?

? Alison ?

? I know this world
is killing you ?

? Alison ?

? my aim is true ?

? well I see
you've got a husband now ?

? did he leave
your pretty fingers lying ?

? in the wedding cake? ?

? You used to hold him
right in your hand ?

? I'll bet he took
all he could take ?

? sometimes I wish that
I could stop you from talking ?

? when I hear the silly things
that you say ?

? I think somebody better
put out the big light ?

? 'cause I can't stand
to see you this way ?

? Alison ?

? I know this world
is killing you ?

? Alison ?

? my aim is true ?

? my aim is true ?

? my aim is true ?

? my aim is true ?

? my aim is true ?

? my aim is true ?

? my aim is true ?

? my aim is true ?

? my aim is true ?

Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org