All language subtitles for Motherland s03e03 Mothers Day.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,280 Who's this guy now? 2 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,360 Oh, he's Connell,from Normal People. Oh. 3 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:14,040 Yeah, of course. Yeah.He looks like him, 4 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:15,680 doesn't he? Ah, little peach! 5 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,920 Loving the peach costume, Rose.See you, then. Have a good day. 6 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:20,480 Mwah! She looks great. 7 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:23,480 What's the book, Kev? Have you readCall Me By Your Name, Anne? 8 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:25,680 I have, yeah, years ago.I don't remember anything 9 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,240 about a peach, though...Oh. Very funny, Liz. 10 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,640 No, it's James and theGiant Peach, of course. 11 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,360 Rose, Rose, remember,try not to sit down. 12 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:35,160 Love you! Move quicker. 13 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,760 Shh... 14 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,240 Did you forget? No. 15 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,200 No, not at all. Just haven't... 16 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:50,040 haven't got my...bits and bobsout yet, so... Ha-ha! Silly. 17 00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:54,360 Oh! It's the... 18 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:57,920 Umbrella. It's a book by Will Self.Off you go, there. 19 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:08,400 Here we go. 20 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,160 There. 21 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:13,280 And that's, er...That's Where's Wally?, so... 22 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,160 So, right... 23 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:17,400 Bye, guys. 24 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:25,680 Oh, er, decaf, please. 25 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:29,120 No caffeine for me for another year.Ha! Oh, God, I'm sick of March 26 00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,800 already! It's just constantdress-up, children's parties, 27 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:35,240 then it's bloody Easter egg hunts.Then, to top it off, it's shitting 28 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,200 Mother's Day! You going to turn downyour Mother of the Year Award 29 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,840 again, then? I love Mother's Day.I love that there's one day that 30 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,720 the world remembers they came outof a woman. What are you going to be 31 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,680 doing, Liz? Lee's got the kidsthis year, so I'm hoping they'll get 32 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,160 diarrhoea in time. 33 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:48,160 HE TUTS 34 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:59,920 Let bloody Jill see whatshe's bloody missing. Oh, Amanda! 35 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:03,600 Are you doing anything lovely forMother's Day? Yeah, actually, yeah. 36 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,640 I'm having lunch withmy mother. She's, er, 37 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,400 coming down from Cheltenhamespecially. You've got a mother?! 38 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,560 You doing anything nicefor Mother's Day? 39 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:19,760 My mammy's coming over, yeah.I've told her all about your cafe. 40 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:22,160 She can't wait to meet you. Hmm. 41 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:27,080 Only two more sleeps. Until what,you get your skin tags off? No, 42 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:30,160 till Mother's Day. Aw! All myfavourite things in one day! Aw! 43 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:35,040 My mammy, a lie-in,breakfast in bed, opening presents, 44 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:38,920 kisses from the children, a poundof marzipan, bobbing for apples, 45 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:42,320 kittens for the day, walnuts...I think Anne's malfunctioning. 46 00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:43,800 ..a roll down the hill. 47 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,360 SHE GIGGLES 48 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,360 Huh! Huh-huh! 49 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,080 have a little cheese plateout in the garden, or... 50 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,200 Or we could watchthat new documentary, erm, 51 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,080 about the octopus. 52 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:04,800 Yeah, thanks, but, er,got to get going. 53 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:07,840 Yeah, no, of course. I saidI'd watch it with Mother, anyway. 54 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:11,120 You... You doing anything nicefor Mother's Day? 55 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,560 There's six of you?!Are you all builders? No, just me. 56 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,600 One's an accountant, three arefiremen... Three are firemen? Yeah. 57 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,800 Three are firemen? Yeah. 58 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,960 SHE LAUGHSThree are firemen?! Yeah. Firemen! 59 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,320 Hmm. Oh, my God! Yeah. 60 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,800 Er, I found this. Do you want it? 61 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,680 For me? It's just a spare tap.I found it in the back of the van. 62 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,240 I noticed the one in theen suite was knackered, so... 63 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:42,280 I was only going to dump itotherwise. Oh, my God! 64 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,320 I... I love it. Thank you 65 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,400 so much! All right.I'll see you Monday, then. OK. 66 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,320 Yeah. Thank you, Garry,that's a date... 67 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:52,440 A day. A day in the calendar.Thank you, Garry, bye! 68 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,600 Children, breakfastis ready! Come on! 69 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,680 Mum, Mother! Yes? 70 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,200 Your porridge is ready! 71 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,880 Ooh, lovely! And did youmake it with milk? Yeah. 72 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,920 Oh, no, I can't haveit with milk, love. 73 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:16,360 CHILDREN PLAY IN BACKGROUND 74 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,760 PHONE RINGS 75 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:36,600 Why are you calling me fromupstairs? Julia, why are the kids on 76 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,400 the trampoline? You know I needbed rest after the vasectomy. 77 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,080 Paul, love, you are aware it'sMother's Day, yes? Oh, shit, 78 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:43,680 I've got to call my mum! 79 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:44,880 LOUD THUD 80 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,480 DOORBELL RINGS 81 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,480 Oh! 82 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:58,320 Are they for me? Why are youall tarted up? Oh, your sister's 83 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,480 FaceTiming me at 11. 84 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,240 Oh, they're lovely! 85 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:04,800 Thank you, Julia.Happy Mother's Day, Mother. Oh! 86 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,080 Ah... 87 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,280 Look! 88 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,800 "All my love, Emily!" 89 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:16,680 Both of us! It just says, Emily!Oh, Emily! 90 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,080 What a total bitch. 91 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,320 Is it weird doing Mother's Daywithout the boys? Yeah. 92 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,760 They always make mea crappy little card. 93 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:28,400 Charlie brings me a bowl ofdry cereal in bed, 94 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:31,720 usually around 4am. Well, whydidn't Lee swap weekends with you, 95 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,240 so you could have them?Because he's a cock and a dick. 96 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:37,640 Ah, double penis.Fancy a spontaneous trip to London? 97 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,240 Ah, it's lambing season.I can't really leave. 98 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,840 You can come here, though.You might even get to see a little 99 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:46,280 lamb being born. Ooh, tempting. It'sa bit of a miracle. You get to see 100 00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,240 them appearing, taketheir first breaths. 101 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,920 Seen enough placenta draggedout of my own vagina, thanks. 102 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,400 So, what do you think,we could meet up halfway? 103 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,280 Chippenham Lorry Park. 104 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:02,160 Oh, they've got showers!Sounds almost TOO romantic. 105 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,280 SHEEP BLEAT 106 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:04,280 Ooh, your wife's calling. 107 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,760 All right, speak to you soon.Speak soon. Bye. 108 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:13,640 I'm going for a bath.Oh, there's no hot water. Eh? 109 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:17,160 And you've run out of milk. Mother,you literally just said you can't 110 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:19,520 have milk in your porridge! 111 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,680 Yeah, but I can't drink black tea. 112 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,440 Jesus Christ! 113 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,720 SHE HAMMERS ON DOOR 114 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,720 Open up, it's the pigs! 115 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:47,040 Happy Mother's Day.Oh, shove it up your hole! 116 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,200 Have you got any milkI could borrow, please? Yeah. 117 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,600 I also have a Bloody Maryyou can borrow. Bloody, yes! 118 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:58,360 MUSIC PLAYS QUIETLY 119 00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:05,280 Oh, my God! 120 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:09,440 You guys make me want to puke!Here, this'll settle your stomach. 121 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:10,800 SIGHING: Thanks. 122 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:18,640 KNOCK ON DOOR 123 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:24,880 Oh, shit! What's happened? 124 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,800 Just thinking about drinking. 125 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:36,400 What's the earliest you can start ifyou're not officially an alcoholic? 126 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,920 Friday night? No, I usuallyjust stick to the weekends, 127 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,320 but I'm the wrong person to ask. 128 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:43,040 I only drink for fun. 129 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,560 Er... 130 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,280 You know I'm not your mum, right? 131 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,440 No. They arrived for bloody Jill, 132 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:55,120 cos I forgot to cancelthe standing order at the florist. 133 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:58,320 Seriously, it took all my mightnot to make a fuss of her. 134 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,560 Normally it's, you know,breakfast in bed, 135 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,960 home-made chocolates,I keep the kids out of the way 136 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:05,600 so she can properly chill.Then, usually, she watches 137 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,720 Point Break on her own.She loves that film. 138 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,520 Tell me you didn't do any of that?No, of course not. 139 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:13,160 Well, actually, I did...I did make breakfast. 140 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,320 I was just on autopilot. 141 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,880 I left it in the kitchen, though. 142 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,560 Bloody Jill can... 143 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,480 bloody get it herself.You need to toughen up, Kev. 144 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:24,480 Get some lessons from my exon how to be a thoughtless, 145 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,560 self-obsessed piss-bag.I can't believe he wouldn't let you 146 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:30,080 have the boys today. Hmm, I can. 147 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,880 This is the bloke who went on hisstag do during our honeymoon. 148 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,240 Poor old you... No. 149 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,800 Not seeing Sam Shepherdthis weekend? 150 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,600 We could do anythingwe goddamn please. 151 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:50,600 Yeah, all right. Like what? 152 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,560 Visit my mum? 153 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,240 So, I've got my last lotof chemo next week, 154 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:01,160 then I find out if I need an opto lop it off. 155 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:02,760 Hey, no, you won't need that. 156 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:07,080 Well, if I do, then as a boobyprize, they can give me a new booby. 157 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,840 Ooh! That's, ugh... 158 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,760 Why are you looking at porn?I'm researching my new rack. 159 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,920 I've got the search historyof a 14-year-old boy. Oh, 160 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,920 if I was offered a free boob job,I'd go like, you know, whole hog. 161 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,720 The full Sam Fox. Yeah, no,I was thinking more the other way, 162 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:25,880 but not too flat, like you, becauseyou're, like, concave. Thank you. 163 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:28,200 Yes, no, they did rathergive up the ghost after, er, 164 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,080 the breast-feeding... Ooh! 165 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,160 That drink looks delicious! 166 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,640 Can... Can I stay here forever?! 167 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,040 Your Mother's Day is just much,much, much, much better than mine. 168 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:40,960 How come I don't get spoiltlike this? Christ! I had... 169 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,360 32 stitches with Ivy!When she came out, she was, like, 170 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,160 the same size as my own torso!Well, you reap what 171 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:52,600 Paul. 172 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:53,920 "Toilet roll..." 173 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,480 MESSAGE ALERT 174 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,120 "..ASAP." Sorry, what, what... 175 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,440 What did I sow to deserve this?Is this, erm... 176 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,800 Please can I stay here? No, get out! 177 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,080 I'm just...I'm just going to take... 178 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,240 Cheers, my dears!Would it help if I told you that 179 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,080 they'd never donea Mother's Day like this before? 180 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:22,520 Ah, yeah, maybe a bit. I thinkthey're just making a special effort 181 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:26,800 because it might be my last oneever. God, no. No. It's true. 182 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,800 Do you know, I once, erm, lay downon the kitchen floor over there - 183 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,920 just lay down just to seeif anyone would notice - 184 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:34,560 and, actually, they all just, erm, 185 00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:36,920 stepped over me. So, in the end,I just sort of lay there 186 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:47,600 Give it back! Give it back!No, get your own! 187 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:50,040 Hiya.PAUL: Julia? 188 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:53,440 Did you get bog roll?Can you run it up here? 189 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,200 SHE SIGHS 190 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,280 Do you want a water? 191 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:19,800 Mint? 192 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,120 Sick bag? Condoms? 193 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:24,600 I've got them all for the Uberdriving. I'll have a water, please. 194 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:30,120 Just so you know, even thoughI'm not going to charge you 195 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,600 for this drive, I will needyou to rate me five stars. 196 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:39,960 Mummy! Hello, darling,I'm so sorry I'm late. 197 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,200 I totally forgot! Aw! 198 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,840 It's fine, it's only 20 minutes, 199 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,280 OK... 200 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,520 I'm fine. 201 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:56,480 Are you going to come inand say hi to the kids? 202 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:58,280 We should hurry.I'll shout out to them. 203 00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,680 Hello, babies! 204 00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:01,160 Love you, love you! 205 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,440 So good to see you! 206 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,920 Shall we go? Yeah.Er, Johnny, I'm off now! 207 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:11,240 Bye, guys! Oh, is Johnnynot coming with? Well, 208 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:14,200 no, I...thought we... 209 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,480 Well, who'd look after the children?Oh, that is a shame. And we're 210 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,800 getting a divorce, Mum. Yes,I keep forgetting. Poor Johnny. 211 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:24,200 Right, shall we go?Riverside Cafe, exciting! Ah, 212 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,400 they were full,but I have got us a table 213 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:30,200 at Fed and Watered, just on thehigh street. Oh, that IS a shame. 214 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,560 Mum, I tried my bestand we were actually lucky to get 215 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:35,320 a table anywhere, even thoughI booked weeks ago. Oh, darling, 216 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:39,040 I'm so sorry, I am grateful. OK.And as long as I get to see you. 217 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,840 Now, quickly, get ready,I'll wait in the car. 218 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:45,720 I AM ready. 219 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,120 Weird, being in the countryside. 220 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:53,720 I don't actually hate it. 221 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,320 Oh, oh, oh, stop. Here we are. 222 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,120 Is your mum a vicar? 223 00:12:58,120 --> 00:12:59,560 No, Liz! 224 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,040 She's dead. 225 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:14,280 She loved nuts. 226 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,160 Anything salty. 227 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,920 That's probably what killed herin the end. 228 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,640 How old were you when she died? 229 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:25,360 Eight. Aw, Kev. 230 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:29,280 My dad married again about a yearlater. They live in Spain now. 231 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,960 Probably to get away from me. 232 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:34,040 Does SHE like salty nuts? Nah. 233 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,800 She's more of a Wagon Wheel woman.Sweet tooth. 234 00:13:37,800 --> 00:13:41,720 She couldn't be more differentto my lovely mum. My step-mum 235 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,480 couldn't tell me and my brotherAdrian apart, so... 236 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:46,320 she just used to call usboth Adrian. 237 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,840 LIZ LAUGHS 238 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,640 I used to hide her slipper. 239 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:52,560 Just...just the one.She'd spend hours looking for it 240 00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:55,480 and I'd just sit there,knowing it was under my pillow. 241 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:58,280 Eh, you know what you should do?What, hide Jill's slipper? 242 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,880 No. She'd have my guts for garters!No, get back out there, 243 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:04,720 sow some oats. Oh, no bloody way!Why not? 244 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:14,560 The smell of another woman,the feel of her hair, 245 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:16,840 her hand on my... All right, Kev. 246 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:18,680 On my chest, Liz! 247 00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:20,320 God! 248 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:21,400 Sorry, Mum. 249 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:25,720 Nah, that's it for me. 250 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:27,880 I've had my fill with Jill. 251 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,880 Can we open those nuts? Yeah. 252 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:50,920 Huh! 253 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,240 CHILDREN PLAY IN BACKGROUND 254 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:10,520 Can I do anything? Oh, goodness,no, it's Mother's Day! 255 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,320 Mothers shouldn't have to lifta finger on Mother's Day. 256 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,440 SHE LAUGHS 257 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:17,200 Food! 258 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,320 Ooh, come on in! 259 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:27,360 Well, this looks lovely!Oh, I'm sorry, Mum. I'm sorry that 260 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,160 your daughter isn't HestonBlumenthal. What's for pudding? Ha! 261 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,200 No pudding, no. We'll just be havinga seminar on living in the moment. 262 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,720 DOORBELL RINGS 263 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,960 Pizza... Who ordered pizza? Pizza! 264 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,680 PAUL: Is that my pizza, Julia? 265 00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,080 CHILDREN GIGGLE 266 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,440 Look! 267 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,440 SHE LAUGHS 268 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:56,040 Georgie is just mad aboutstreet dance. Wait, 269 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,080 there's something elseI wanted to show you. 270 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:00,760 That is Madison's drawing of 271 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,920 the Houses of Parliament. Darling,when you WhatsApp photos of the 272 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,920 children, they go straight intomy camera roll. Oh, that's handy! 273 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,680 How do I stop that happening?I feel bad deleting them. 274 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:12,280 Chardonnay - forthe beautiful sisters. 275 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:14,320 Oh, you're sweet! 276 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,920 Isn't he sweet, Amanda? Hmm. Haveyou decided? Do you want to share 277 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,960 the fig and chorizo salad?I'm not a fan of chori-tho. 278 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,800 I think I'll havethe mushroom veloute 279 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,240 and a sparkling water, please.Thank you, darling. 280 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:26,920 Goat's cheese salad, please. Merci. 281 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:36,400 So, darling, how are you,with the divorce and everything? 282 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:41,120 God! 283 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:44,120 Mum! It's from a David.He sounds lovely. 284 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:48,200 Great. Darling, dating apps area game-changer. Mummy, please, 285 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:51,480 I really don't want to see. It'sactually making me feel a bit ill. 286 00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,600 Oh, come on!You're getting divorced, 287 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,760 you'll soon be doing exactly thesame, you just wait. I won't, Mummy. 288 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,640 This is still so raw for me, 289 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,400 like I did when I was goingthrough it with your father. 290 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,280 This is very different to yourdivorce from Daddy. It's exactly 291 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:12,760 the same. He'd had his fillof me and I was discarded. 292 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:15,720 You should take him for everythinghe's got. Mummy, I'm not being 293 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,760 discarded, and thisis not about money. 294 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,280 Is that what he said? I always said 295 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,200 Johnny was no good. No, you didn't,you said you loved him, and if you 296 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:25,320 were ten years younger, I'd have towatch my back. Five years younger. 297 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:28,160 Voila! Can I get you anything else? 298 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,080 BOTH: Another dry white wine,please. 299 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,600 The girls would love it here. 300 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:40,600 If I pass my driving test,I can take 'em to places like this. 301 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,800 It always peed Jill offthat I couldn't drive, 302 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,440 or swim, or grow a beard.Actually, to be fair, 303 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,080 that last one was out of my hands.She hates stubble. 304 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:52,120 I'll teach you to drive. Would you? 305 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:56,440 I'm not a complete novice. I've hadabout 90 hours of lessons. 90?! 306 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:59,120 For the price of them, you couldhave just hired a chauffeur! 307 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,600 It's reversing that stymies me. 308 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,240 I'm absolutely fine going forwardsbut, for some reason, 309 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,280 going backwards terrifies me.MESSAGE ALERT 310 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,600 It's the same with swings.Going up - exhilarating, 311 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:11,160 coming down - no, thank you.Oh, God! Sam keeps texting me 312 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,280 pictures of baby lambs. Let me see. 313 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,360 There. Still in the birth bag. 314 00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:19,640 It's amazing, isn't it?Life from life. That your... 315 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,800 your body can make another body.Yeah, tell that to the ewe. 316 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,320 She just made four legs of lamband a pound of chops. 317 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,760 Poor lamb. 318 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,160 The girls and I are vegetarian now. 319 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:31,680 Not Jill, she's alwaysthe last at the table, 320 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:34,560 sucking the living daylightsout of a plate of ribs. 321 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,680 Do you think he's trying totell me something? 322 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,760 Jill said she'd ratherhave laser eye surgery. 323 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,120 I've only just reclaimed control ofmy pelvic floor. 324 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:54,440 I can finally sneezewithout pissing myself. 325 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,880 Eh, do you want todrive us back, Kev? 326 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:59,520 What, really?Yeah, come on, new you. 327 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,240 OK. 328 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,320 OK, let's do this! Yeah? All right! 329 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:05,920 KEYS HIT PAVEMENT 330 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:14,800 Relax! My mum always said, "Youwouldn't bump into anyone as you're 331 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:18,120 "walking about, would you? So justdon't bump into any other cars." 332 00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:21,400 OK, come on, Kevin, you can do this! 333 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:27,360 Indicators... 334 00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:30,600 and mirrors. Check the road ahead. 335 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:31,960 Here we go. 336 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,200 Oh, my God! 337 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,200 TYRES SCREECH 338 00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:38,400 Well, 339 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:42,080 that was really lovely. Oh, God,it was absolute shit, Mother! 340 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:45,880 Sorry, I was just trying to... 341 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,840 It would just be...just be so lovelyif my family, you know, 342 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,560 just could pretend that they like mejust for one day, maybe 343 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,160 serve me Bloody Marys, 344 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:57,720 put my face on a T-shirt. You don'thave children to be liked, Julia. 345 00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:01,240 Well, what's the blinking point ofhaving kids if they don't friggin' 346 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:06,480 like you?! Look at us, you didn'ttalk to me from the age of 13 to 22. 347 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,960 You were a monster, Julia. 348 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,560 I locked myself in the toilet onceto get away from you 349 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,160 and you kicked the dooroff the hinges. Did I? 350 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,080 Goodness, I don't remember that. 351 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:17,560 Why were you hiding in the toilet? 352 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,280 It was the only room with a key. 353 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,480 And look at us now.You look after me. You let me stay 354 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:26,600 in your house, give me your bedroomand your en suite. Mother, I don't 355 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,600 want to wait until I'm infirm formy children to give a shit about me. 356 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:33,200 Oh, my God, they used to thinkthe sun shone out of my arsehole! 357 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,160 All I had to do was fart andIvy's face lit up. Now, if I fart 358 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,160 in front of them, they look at melike Melania looks at Donald. 359 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:45,160 You'll get them back, and it'llall be worth it, hmm? I promise. 360 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:49,160 SHE BREAKS WINDOh, pop a cork in it, Mother! 361 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,800 Would you like to seethe dessert menu? 362 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,200 No, thank you. No, thank you.Just the bill. D'accord. 363 00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:01,600 TAPPING ON WINDOW 364 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,280 Happy Mother's Day! 365 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,480 This is my mammy! 366 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,600 I burned my handmaking toffee apples, 367 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,200 so we're off to the A&E, yeah. 368 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,120 Is that your mammy? 369 00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:18,600 It's just Anne. 370 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,760 Amanda, this is my mammy! 371 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,160 Hi. Mammy, this is Amanda's mammy. 372 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:31,920 No way?! You look too youngto be a granny. Not like me. 373 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,680 I'm as old as the hills! 374 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,680 THEY LAUGH 375 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,800 Thank you. This is baby Niamh. 376 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,680 Isn't she a dote? 377 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:42,840 She was 9lb, exactly. You didn'thave any stitches, did you, Annie? 378 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,360 No, no, no. I'm pretty much 379 00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:46,440 elasticated down there! 380 00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:46,440 THEY LAUGH 381 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:47,960 Would you like a little hold? 382 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,440 Oh. 383 00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:51,520 Ooh! 384 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,960 BABY GURGLES 385 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:57,160 Isn't Mammy gorgeous? 386 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:57,160 SHE LAUGHS 387 00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:02,800 You're lovely-looking, Amanda. Oh!Legs up to your armpits! Ha-ha-ha! 388 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:06,800 Such a slim thing. I'm not! Ha-ha!Neither am I! 389 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,120 THEY LAUGH 390 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,920 Check this out. 391 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:22,920 BLEATING 392 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,080 Oh, my God, what's that?! 393 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,080 TYRES SCREECH 394 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:28,240 What, what, what?! What's what?!Not you. Sam. Sam's lambing. 395 00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,600 Oh, God! Did you get my message? 396 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,040 Yes, I got your messageand, no, I don't want a baby, Liz. 397 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,360 Right, so that's a definite noto kids, then? 398 00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:37,960 Definitely not. Anything else? 399 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,760 Cos I'm sort of in the middle ofsomething here. Yeah, fine. OK. 400 00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:46,240 He doesn't want kids,so that's that answer. 401 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:48,960 Oh, no! 402 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,760 Do I stop? 403 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,760 HORN BEEPS 404 00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:53,360 You're a learner. He can reverse. 405 00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:56,960 BEEPING CONTINUESNo kids is a good thing, isn't it? 406 00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,840 What do I do? Just stick herin reverse, Kevin. I mean, 407 00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,360 why doesn't he want kids? 408 00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:03,640 Why doesn't he want kids with me?Backwards? 409 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,520 I could have more kids. I've gotabout ten to 15 good periods left 410 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,840 in me, I reckon. I can't do it.I can't reverse. Oh, for God's sake, 411 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,560 Kevin! I'm having a relationshipcrisis here! 412 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,920 BEEPING CONTINUESYes, I know, I know, but he's being 413 00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,560 really heavy on the horn.All right, shove over, I'll do it. 414 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:19,560 No. No, no, no, no, no, no. 415 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,200 You know what, Liz? 416 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,120 I've got to do this. I'vebloody got to grow a pair 417 00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:28,880 and get my licence.I can't give Jill any excuses 418 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,040 to cut me out of my girls' lives.All right, look, 419 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:32,960 both hands on the wheel,use your mirrors 420 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:36,640 and, in your own time,nice and easy, reverse. 421 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:46,480 HE SCREAMS 422 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:51,280 Kevin!SCREAMING CONTINUES 423 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:52,800 Oh, my God, Kevin! 424 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,240 Stop screaming! Ha-ha! 425 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,240 HORN BEEPS 426 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:57,680 Oh! Ha-ha-ha! 427 00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:00,920 I did it. Oh... Ha-ha-ha! I did it! 428 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:02,560 I reversed! Yes. 429 00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,880 I reversed, Liz! Yes, all right!Ha-ha-ha-ha! 430 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,080 bloody mother I know! 431 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,080 MESSAGE ALERT 432 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,160 Do you mind if I drop you offat the station? 433 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:19,680 I've just got an Uber booking. 434 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:22,840 Hey! 435 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,920 Ha-ha! I missed you! 436 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,280 HORN BEEPS 437 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,280 Hello. 438 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:30,040 Hello, babies!Lovely to see you all. Johnny, 439 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,520 you look fantastic, darling.See you on Tinder. 440 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,400 HE CHUCKLESMummy says I should rinse you dry. 441 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,400 No, I didn't, darling.Don't listen to her, 442 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:41,280 she's just bitter. Nice lunch?Wonderful, wasn't it, darling? 443 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,840 No, it wasn't.It made me sad, actually. 444 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:48,680 But whatever happenswith this divorce, 445 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:51,760 we won't let it make our kids sad, 446 00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,240 so thank you for that. 447 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:55,840 Happy Mother's Day, Mum. 448 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:04,880 She's quite right, you SHOULD takeme to the cleaners. Can you imagine? 449 00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:08,200 Can I keep the house? No. 450 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,600 TV IN BACKGROUND 451 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:15,320 SHE SIGHS 452 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,120 Oh! Er, Meg? 453 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,080 Yeah, no, I'll...I can take them over for her. 454 00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:58,760 SHE KNOCKS ON DOOR 455 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:06,680 Happy Mother's Day again,you lucky bitch! 456 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,360 SNE SNIFFS 457 00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,880 Oh... 458 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:13,880 Oh, God. Erm... 459 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:17,200 It's the flowers, isn't it?Er, lilies. Er, you hate lilies! 460 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,840 OK. That's OK, it's cool,I... I can take them away. 461 00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,480 I... I didn't receiveany fucking flowers, so... 462 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:25,840 SHE SOBS 463 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,800 I just want to say from the offset,I'm not very good with crying, 464 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,440 or empathy. 465 00:26:30,440 --> 00:26:32,840 I'm sorry. 466 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,840 It's just... 467 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,160 What if this really is my last one? 468 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,640 No, no, no, it... 469 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:45,120 It's not going to be. We don't know. 470 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:48,600 And in the meantime, you know,I've got to carry on being 471 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:53,680 Fun Meg, Hot Wife, Supermum.Whoa! Let's not get carried away. 472 00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:06,360 ..and I'm really fucking terrified,Julia! Yes, yes. Look, look... 473 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,160 Listen, of course you are. 474 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,720 Of course you are.But you are strong. 475 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,680 OK, er... 476 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:15,880 Think about, you know,Lance Armstrong. You... You know, 477 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,920 He's going to go to hell,yes, for sure, 478 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,800 but not for a long, long time -because he beat cancer. 479 00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:28,680 Look, listen, right... 480 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,040 Come on, let's crack 481 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,360 this little soldier open. 482 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,360 CORK POPS 483 00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:36,320 THEY LAUGH 484 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:41,280 To Lance Armstrong! No, no, I'm notfucking toasting Lance Armstrong. 485 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,920 Uh... Here's to all the 486 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:48,640 amazing women in our lives.To the sisters and the aunties 487 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:51,800 and the grandmas and the teachers. 488 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:56,400 And to Lance Armstrong's mum. 489 00:27:58,240 --> 00:27:59,360 Fine. 490 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:02,120 Happy Mother's Day. 491 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,080 Oh... Ha-ha! 492 00:28:06,130 --> 00:28:10,680 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37960

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