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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:11,541 [cheers and applause] 2 00:00:11,625 --> 00:00:13,708 - Good morning, Las Vegas. - Oh, Jesus Christ. 3 00:00:13,791 --> 00:00:15,833 - Can you hear me okay? - Yeah, it's very loud. 4 00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:17,333 - Softer. - Too loud. 5 00:00:17,416 --> 00:00:18,875 - Right. Good. 6 00:00:18,958 --> 00:00:21,625 Now, it is my pleasure to introduce to you 7 00:00:21,708 --> 00:00:23,875 the CEO and Chairman 8 00:00:23,958 --> 00:00:25,958 of the Palmetto Casino and Resort, 9 00:00:26,041 --> 00:00:31,291 the wickedly handsome Marty Ghilain. 10 00:00:31,375 --> 00:00:34,166 [cheers and applause] 11 00:00:34,250 --> 00:00:36,583 - Thank you, Madame Mayor. 12 00:00:36,666 --> 00:00:39,083 I think I'll just project. [laughter] 13 00:00:39,166 --> 00:00:41,375 I remember the first time I saw Deborah Vance perform. 14 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:42,875 - Hey. What happened? 15 00:00:42,958 --> 00:00:44,458 I thought we were all gonna drive together. 16 00:00:44,541 --> 00:00:45,916 I promised Deborah I'd stop being 17 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,250 "Little Miss Seatbelt Bitch." 18 00:00:47,333 --> 00:00:48,666 - Got me. 19 00:00:48,750 --> 00:00:50,083 You two have been sharing a schedule for weeks now. 20 00:00:50,166 --> 00:00:51,791 - Well, she's being kinda weird. 21 00:00:51,875 --> 00:00:53,250 Like she's avoiding me. 22 00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:55,250 - It might be about your signature scent. 23 00:00:55,333 --> 00:00:57,708 Did you switch it up recently? - What? 24 00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,708 - Well, last summer, I thought that she was mad at me, 25 00:00:59,791 --> 00:01:02,916 but it turns out that she just hates Acqua di Gio, so... 26 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,333 - Was one of the best decisions I ever made. 27 00:01:04,416 --> 00:01:06,500 - Huh. - She helped put 28 00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:08,666 Vegas residencies on the map, 29 00:01:08,750 --> 00:01:12,500 and now we're literally putting her on the map. 30 00:01:12,583 --> 00:01:14,333 [cheers and applause] 31 00:01:14,416 --> 00:01:16,875 So even though tonight is her farewell show... 32 00:01:16,958 --> 00:01:19,125 crowd: Aww. - She's not going anywhere. 33 00:01:19,208 --> 00:01:22,541 [cheers and applause] 34 00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:24,125 Mayor? 35 00:01:25,208 --> 00:01:27,083 - [clears throat] 36 00:01:27,166 --> 00:01:28,625 [feedback whines] It is my honor and my duty... 37 00:01:28,708 --> 00:01:30,166 - Oh, my God. - Fuck. 38 00:01:30,250 --> 00:01:34,458 - To present to you all Las Vegas's newest street, 39 00:01:34,541 --> 00:01:36,041 Deborah Vance Drive. 40 00:01:36,125 --> 00:01:37,291 [upbeat jazzy music] 41 00:01:37,375 --> 00:01:40,333 [cheers and applause] 42 00:01:40,416 --> 00:01:45,000 ♪ ♪ 43 00:01:45,083 --> 00:01:47,958 - You didn't have to come, you know. 44 00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,500 - I know you're mad at me, 45 00:01:49,583 --> 00:01:51,583 but I'll always be your biggest fan, Deb. 46 00:01:54,291 --> 00:01:55,375 - Switch with me. 47 00:01:55,458 --> 00:01:56,791 Give them your good side. C'mon. 48 00:01:56,875 --> 00:01:58,708 - [laughs] 49 00:01:58,791 --> 00:02:00,458 - Over here, Deb. Over here. 50 00:02:00,541 --> 00:02:01,791 ♪ ♪ 51 00:02:01,875 --> 00:02:04,291 - There you go. Guys, right here. 52 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:06,166 - I've heard a couple of you out there complaining 53 00:02:06,250 --> 00:02:08,833 about this 115-degree heat. 54 00:02:08,916 --> 00:02:10,333 I'll tell you what, I love it. 55 00:02:10,416 --> 00:02:11,333 - Kayla, it's red--red! 56 00:02:11,416 --> 00:02:13,625 Kayla, you just ran a red. 57 00:02:13,708 --> 00:02:15,166 I'm so annoyed. 58 00:02:15,250 --> 00:02:17,666 I cannot believe I have to rush to Vegas last minute 59 00:02:17,750 --> 00:02:19,416 to clean up your mess. 60 00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:20,833 - I'm sorry. I know. 61 00:02:20,916 --> 00:02:22,125 - When we get there, 62 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:23,666 drop me off at Arrivals, not Departures. 63 00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:25,666 I cannot miss this flight. - Drop you off? 64 00:02:25,750 --> 00:02:26,916 I'm on your flight, babe. 65 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,666 2A and 2B. You prefer the middle. 66 00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:30,083 - Wait. 67 00:02:30,166 --> 00:02:31,333 No, I don't prefer the middle. And what do you-- 68 00:02:31,416 --> 00:02:33,500 - I can't sit in the middle. 69 00:02:33,583 --> 00:02:34,791 - You're not coming on the trip. 70 00:02:34,875 --> 00:02:36,500 What're you talking about? 71 00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:38,291 - I told my dad that it was, like, my first business trip, 72 00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:39,916 and he was, like, so proud. 73 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,250 But I can cancel the ticket. There's, like, no problem. 74 00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:44,041 - No, no, no. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. 75 00:02:44,125 --> 00:02:45,541 - I feel like I'm gonna throw up. 76 00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:47,416 - Just come. Just come. 77 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,708 - Really? - Yeah. 78 00:02:49,791 --> 00:02:52,000 - Yay! [laughs] 79 00:02:52,083 --> 00:02:53,625 I made us a Vegas playlist. 80 00:02:53,708 --> 00:02:55,708 [upbeat Latin pop] Oh, no. That's my sex playlist. 81 00:02:55,791 --> 00:02:58,125 I can't listen to that without thinkin' of the deed. 82 00:02:58,208 --> 00:02:59,500 - Kayla, watch the road. - The big D. 83 00:02:59,583 --> 00:03:01,041 - Eyes on the road. Eyes on the road. 84 00:03:01,125 --> 00:03:03,000 - Can you get pulled over for having too much fun? 85 00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,666 - Yeah, I think so. - Oop! 86 00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:07,791 Sorry, I almost--I thought we were gonna crash. 87 00:03:07,875 --> 00:03:09,250 - Thanks for the ride. 88 00:03:09,333 --> 00:03:10,833 - Well, I wanted to talk to you about something. 89 00:03:10,916 --> 00:03:12,041 - Oh, my God. 90 00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,958 You're not serving me again, are you? 91 00:03:14,041 --> 00:03:15,416 - No, no. 92 00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:18,375 - Oh. - [sighs] 93 00:03:18,458 --> 00:03:20,041 In the show tonight, 94 00:03:20,125 --> 00:03:23,083 I'm gonna be talking about you and your father 95 00:03:23,166 --> 00:03:26,875 and some other difficult things 96 00:03:26,958 --> 00:03:29,958 that I've never talked about on stage before. 97 00:03:30,041 --> 00:03:32,083 - Okay. - And, you know, 98 00:03:32,166 --> 00:03:35,000 it might not be the easiest to hear 99 00:03:35,083 --> 00:03:39,416 or to have out there, so that's why I'm telling you. 100 00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:41,125 - Awesome. Thank you. Got it. 101 00:03:41,208 --> 00:03:43,125 - No, I'm telling you 102 00:03:43,208 --> 00:03:46,541 because if you don't want me to do this show, I won't. 103 00:03:46,625 --> 00:03:48,083 - Right. Yeah. 104 00:03:48,166 --> 00:03:49,791 Kinda like how it was my choice 105 00:03:49,875 --> 00:03:52,250 to do that Weight Watchers ad with you? 106 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,625 Like that? - No. 107 00:03:54,708 --> 00:03:58,833 I mean it. I'm asking you, DJ. 108 00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:03,125 - Oh. Okay. 109 00:04:03,208 --> 00:04:06,416 Well, thank you. I appreciate that. 110 00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:10,000 You've always known the right thing to say. 111 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,625 I mean, on stage, anyway. 112 00:04:11,708 --> 00:04:13,791 So I'm sure that if you think you should, 113 00:04:13,875 --> 00:04:16,625 then...then you should. 114 00:04:18,666 --> 00:04:21,375 - Great. Okay. 115 00:04:21,458 --> 00:04:24,416 Then I will. - Okay. 116 00:04:26,708 --> 00:04:28,125 Did I ever tell you I get recognized 117 00:04:28,208 --> 00:04:30,125 from that Weight Watchers ad all the time? 118 00:04:30,208 --> 00:04:31,833 - No. - Yeah. 119 00:04:31,916 --> 00:04:33,333 A woman in the airport stopped me 120 00:04:33,416 --> 00:04:34,791 and said that we inspired her. 121 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,625 - Oh. - I know. It was so sweet. 122 00:04:36,708 --> 00:04:38,916 I almost didn't tell her we're just naturally thin. 123 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:43,583 [both laugh] 124 00:04:43,666 --> 00:04:45,875 - God. 125 00:04:45,958 --> 00:04:48,083 [laughs] 126 00:04:48,166 --> 00:04:49,333 - Thanks for getting lunch. 127 00:04:49,416 --> 00:04:52,250 - Well, that's not all I got you. 128 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,583 Bam! [laughs] 129 00:04:53,666 --> 00:04:55,333 - Oh, God. Toe shoes. 130 00:04:55,416 --> 00:04:57,666 - For our trip. - Oh, they're horrible. 131 00:04:57,750 --> 00:04:59,500 [both laugh] I love 'em. 132 00:04:59,583 --> 00:05:00,791 Thank you. 133 00:05:00,875 --> 00:05:02,083 - You're welcome. 134 00:05:02,166 --> 00:05:04,166 So how'd it go asking for time off? 135 00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:05,541 - Easy. Almost too easy. 136 00:05:05,625 --> 00:05:07,000 Deborah's been so focused on this new show 137 00:05:07,083 --> 00:05:10,375 that everything I do takes a back seat. 138 00:05:10,458 --> 00:05:11,958 I'm sorry. 139 00:05:12,041 --> 00:05:14,333 I know you don't like when I just complain about her. 140 00:05:14,416 --> 00:05:16,750 - No, I don't mind that you talk to me about Deborah. 141 00:05:16,833 --> 00:05:18,166 I just--I feel like 142 00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:20,166 I'm not the only one you should be talking to. 143 00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:22,375 You should talk to her. - Oh, no. 144 00:05:22,458 --> 00:05:24,958 I've seen Deborah fire drivers for stopping at a yellow light. 145 00:05:25,041 --> 00:05:26,375 I'm not about to go there. 146 00:05:26,458 --> 00:05:29,083 Besides, I wouldn't even know what to say. 147 00:05:29,166 --> 00:05:31,416 - Okay, so let's practice. 148 00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:32,958 Tell me what you'd tell Deborah. 149 00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,875 - Come on, you know I hate this therapy stuff. 150 00:05:34,958 --> 00:05:36,875 - It's not from therapy. It's from mental health TikTok. 151 00:05:36,958 --> 00:05:40,000 - That's even worse. - Okay, come on. Do it. 152 00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:43,083 - [sighs] Okay. 153 00:05:43,166 --> 00:05:46,125 Deborah, I have prioritized 154 00:05:46,208 --> 00:05:48,500 your life and business ahead of my own. 155 00:05:48,583 --> 00:05:50,041 And now you're doing this whole new thing 156 00:05:50,125 --> 00:05:52,375 that I'm not a part of, and it doesn't feel like 157 00:05:52,458 --> 00:05:54,375 you even think about how it affects me. 158 00:05:54,458 --> 00:05:56,875 I'm starting to feel like I'm putting my life on hold 159 00:05:56,958 --> 00:05:59,958 for someone who isn't fully considering me. 160 00:06:00,041 --> 00:06:01,458 - You're so cute. 161 00:06:01,541 --> 00:06:02,750 - That will not be her response. 162 00:06:02,833 --> 00:06:03,916 - It might. I mean-- - It won't. 163 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,000 - I was entranced. Mm. 164 00:06:06,083 --> 00:06:09,000 [upbeat music] 165 00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:13,791 ♪ ♪ 166 00:06:13,875 --> 00:06:15,708 - Huh. 167 00:06:15,791 --> 00:06:18,208 - Hey. - Hey--holy shit. 168 00:06:18,291 --> 00:06:20,625 What're you doing? Why are you wearing lingerie? 169 00:06:20,708 --> 00:06:23,208 - Um, it's not lingerie. It's regular pajamas. 170 00:06:23,291 --> 00:06:25,916 - Okay, why are you wearing regular pajamas? 171 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,375 - So it looks more believable that we're on our honeymoon. 172 00:06:28,458 --> 00:06:29,791 - What? - Oh, the hotel thinks 173 00:06:29,875 --> 00:06:31,166 we're on our honeymoon. 174 00:06:31,250 --> 00:06:32,875 That's how I got us this amazing room. 175 00:06:32,958 --> 00:06:34,250 - Us? Oh, my God. 176 00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:36,041 I thought you were just using my bathroom. 177 00:06:36,125 --> 00:06:38,250 You need to get your own room and you need to do it now. 178 00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:40,208 - I guess I can ask the guy when room service comes. 179 00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:41,625 - We are not ordering room service. 180 00:06:41,708 --> 00:06:43,208 What the fuck are you talking about? 181 00:06:43,291 --> 00:06:45,333 - Uh, yeah, we are. I ordered us champagne. 182 00:06:45,416 --> 00:06:46,708 - Why? 183 00:06:46,791 --> 00:06:48,500 - To go with the chocolate-covered strawberries. 184 00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:50,333 What are you not getting about this, dude? 185 00:06:50,416 --> 00:06:53,166 - Wh-wh--Kayla! Jesus! 186 00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:54,708 You are my employee. 187 00:06:54,791 --> 00:06:56,291 You can't share a room with me, okay? 188 00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:57,583 You're gonna get me in trouble. 189 00:06:57,666 --> 00:06:59,791 - Uh, why? 190 00:06:59,875 --> 00:07:01,791 What're you gonna do? - Nothing! 191 00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:03,916 What're you gonna do? - Oh, I don't know. 192 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,708 Answer the phone. Take messages. 193 00:07:05,791 --> 00:07:08,333 Think of ideas for emails. My job! 194 00:07:08,416 --> 00:07:10,125 - Okay, first of all, it's not your job 195 00:07:10,208 --> 00:07:12,541 to think of ideas for my emails, okay? 196 00:07:12,625 --> 00:07:14,166 - You're a buzzkill. - All right. 197 00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:16,250 And second of all, you're gonna do that stuff now? 198 00:07:16,333 --> 00:07:18,291 You haven't been doing your job for six months. 199 00:07:18,375 --> 00:07:20,833 - Shh. Settle down, horsey. 200 00:07:20,916 --> 00:07:22,250 Sh, sh, sh. Sh, sh, sh. 201 00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:24,000 Why are you so mad? I did good. 202 00:07:24,083 --> 00:07:26,375 I got us the honeymoon suite upgrade for free. 203 00:07:26,458 --> 00:07:28,083 You're always telling me to watch expenses. 204 00:07:28,166 --> 00:07:30,416 - I've asked you to watch your expenses, 205 00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:32,250 like Sugarfish for breakfast. 206 00:07:32,333 --> 00:07:34,291 - In Fiji, they do eat that for breakfast. 207 00:07:34,375 --> 00:07:35,958 - I don't care what you eat for breakfast. 208 00:07:36,041 --> 00:07:38,458 You can't charge $50 breakfasts to the company, 209 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,000 but you can charge two separate rooms. 210 00:07:40,083 --> 00:07:41,250 I'm your boss. 211 00:07:41,333 --> 00:07:42,958 - Okay, well, my dad owns half the agency, 212 00:07:43,041 --> 00:07:45,750 so it's not really your typical boss-employee dynamic. 213 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,125 - Yeah, clearly. 214 00:07:47,208 --> 00:07:49,791 - What did you mean by that? 215 00:07:49,875 --> 00:07:51,666 You getting a vibe? - No! 216 00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:55,208 Are you trying to give a vibe? - No! God! 217 00:07:55,291 --> 00:07:57,666 No. What did you say? No. 218 00:07:57,750 --> 00:07:59,833 Pervert! Ugh! 219 00:07:59,916 --> 00:08:01,375 Great. Trip ruined. 220 00:08:01,458 --> 00:08:02,958 - Kayla. Kayla. - Awkward. 221 00:08:03,041 --> 00:08:06,333 - Kayla--oh, God. 222 00:08:06,416 --> 00:08:08,208 Kayla, are you upset? 223 00:08:08,291 --> 00:08:11,166 - No, I'm going potty. What're you doing, Mr. Curious? 224 00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:13,500 - I'm-I'm writing an email to HR. 225 00:08:13,583 --> 00:08:15,333 "Dear Barbara"-- - No, wait, not Barbara. 226 00:08:15,416 --> 00:08:17,375 - Yes, Barbara. 227 00:08:17,458 --> 00:08:19,125 "Kayla did it again." 228 00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:20,375 [phone buzzes] 229 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,833 - Hey, Mom. 230 00:08:22,916 --> 00:08:26,125 Wait, what? What's going on? 231 00:08:26,208 --> 00:08:27,958 Yeah, I'm sitting down. 232 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,500 [door slams] 233 00:08:30,583 --> 00:08:32,041 Hey. 234 00:08:32,125 --> 00:08:34,500 I'm really sorry, but I think I gotta miss tonight. 235 00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:37,458 My-my dad had another stroke and I need to go home. 236 00:08:37,541 --> 00:08:41,333 - You're leaving. - I know. I'm-I'm really sorry. 237 00:08:41,416 --> 00:08:43,500 - Well, good luck. 238 00:08:45,958 --> 00:08:47,666 - Thanks? 239 00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:49,625 [sighs] 240 00:08:49,708 --> 00:08:50,958 Look, I said I'm sorry, you know? 241 00:08:51,041 --> 00:08:52,708 I really wish I didn't have to go. 242 00:08:52,791 --> 00:08:54,291 - Okay. 243 00:08:57,708 --> 00:09:00,250 - Well, I got you this. 244 00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:02,750 - You can leave it there. 245 00:09:09,875 --> 00:09:10,916 - Break a leg. 246 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,083 - Will do. 247 00:09:20,916 --> 00:09:22,583 - I'm sorry. We're completely booked. 248 00:09:22,666 --> 00:09:24,375 Everyone is 'cause of the fight. 249 00:09:24,458 --> 00:09:26,000 - All right, can we at least get a cot? 250 00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:27,416 - Oof, with your back? 251 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,750 - I meant for you. 252 00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:30,333 [phone buzzes] What? 253 00:09:30,416 --> 00:09:31,958 Kayla, can you figure this out, please? 254 00:09:32,041 --> 00:09:33,833 I gotta handle something. - On it. 255 00:09:33,916 --> 00:09:35,250 Okay, cancel the cot. 256 00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:38,416 [light jazz piano] 257 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:39,416 - Ava? 258 00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:40,958 - Hey. - Hey. 259 00:09:41,041 --> 00:09:42,458 - Hi. Sorry. - What's going on? 260 00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:44,125 - I'm actually in a rush to get to the airport. 261 00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:45,708 - Whoa, whoa, you haven't returned my calls, 262 00:09:45,791 --> 00:09:47,125 and I just got a text from Deborah. 263 00:09:47,208 --> 00:09:48,750 She's not doing the new show anymore? 264 00:09:48,833 --> 00:09:50,000 - Wait, what? 265 00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:51,500 - Yeah, this is really bad, okay? 266 00:09:51,583 --> 00:09:53,333 I used all my connections to get people here. 267 00:09:53,416 --> 00:09:54,958 Plus, I'm in the middle of a "MeToo" situation 268 00:09:55,041 --> 00:09:57,000 with Kayla, and I'm the me, Ava. 269 00:09:57,083 --> 00:09:58,875 - Why the fuck isn't she doing it? 270 00:09:58,958 --> 00:10:00,291 - I was gonna ask you the same thing. 271 00:10:00,375 --> 00:10:01,541 Hold on, Ava. 272 00:10:01,625 --> 00:10:03,666 Can you at least tell me what's happening? 273 00:10:05,958 --> 00:10:08,916 - No dice, dude. Sorry. [laughs] 274 00:10:12,875 --> 00:10:14,083 - What's wrong with you? 275 00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:15,458 You're backing out of the new show? 276 00:10:15,541 --> 00:10:18,375 - Why do you even care? - [scoffs] 277 00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:20,000 Because we worked really hard on it. 278 00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:22,208 Of course I care. - Do you? 279 00:10:22,291 --> 00:10:24,333 I know you ran back to LA for a job interview. 280 00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:26,875 And now, it sounds like you might have a follow-up? 281 00:10:26,958 --> 00:10:28,083 - [laughs] 282 00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:30,000 That's why you've been acting weird? 283 00:10:30,083 --> 00:10:32,916 Okay, yeah. I did go. But I didn't take the job. 284 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,541 And now you think I'm lying about my dad? 285 00:10:35,625 --> 00:10:36,833 Is that what you think of me? 286 00:10:36,916 --> 00:10:38,750 - I don't really think about you. 287 00:10:38,833 --> 00:10:40,208 - Yeah, right, lady. 288 00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:42,000 You do think about me. And I think about you. 289 00:10:42,083 --> 00:10:43,666 It's called a human relationship. 290 00:10:43,750 --> 00:10:45,250 And sorry, but we have one. 291 00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:47,708 - Our relationship is that I sign your paychecks. 292 00:10:47,791 --> 00:10:50,000 - Paychecks? Oh, my God. 293 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,000 First of all, it's direct deposit. 294 00:10:52,083 --> 00:10:54,125 And also, this is why I had to lie to you 295 00:10:54,208 --> 00:10:55,916 about leaving for that job interview. 296 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,500 Because your ego doesn't allow you 297 00:10:57,583 --> 00:10:59,208 to take in information like a normal human being. 298 00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:01,333 No one's allowed to communicate honestly with you. 299 00:11:01,416 --> 00:11:03,875 And if they do, you either shut them out or push them away 300 00:11:03,958 --> 00:11:05,833 or, I-I don't know, hit them with your car. 301 00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:10,208 - Almost hit them with my car! - Not a great defense. 302 00:11:10,291 --> 00:11:12,875 Fine. Whatever. I fucked up. I'm really sorry. 303 00:11:12,958 --> 00:11:16,083 But please, don't throw away everything we worked so hard on 304 00:11:16,166 --> 00:11:17,500 just because you're mad at me. 305 00:11:17,583 --> 00:11:19,750 - This isn't about you. 306 00:11:19,833 --> 00:11:21,916 I just don't want to do it. I know what works. 307 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,708 The old stuff works, so that's what I'm doing. 308 00:11:23,791 --> 00:11:25,291 - The stuff we've worked on is good. 309 00:11:25,375 --> 00:11:26,875 And it's important that you do it! 310 00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:29,125 - You don't get to tell me what's important! 311 00:11:29,208 --> 00:11:31,416 You're risking nothing here. This is just a blip. 312 00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:32,833 You can get on a plane tomorrow. 313 00:11:32,916 --> 00:11:34,291 This is just gonna be a funny story 314 00:11:34,375 --> 00:11:35,500 about a job you once had. 315 00:11:35,583 --> 00:11:37,583 This is my life! 316 00:11:37,666 --> 00:11:40,125 I don't need to do a whole show dwelling on the past! 317 00:11:40,208 --> 00:11:43,708 I move forward. Always have. End of discussion. 318 00:11:43,791 --> 00:11:45,041 - [sighs] 319 00:11:45,125 --> 00:11:47,416 What a giant waste of time this all was. 320 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,791 - Oh, I agree. 321 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,833 And my time is a lot more valuable than yours. 322 00:11:50,916 --> 00:11:52,250 - Oh, I'm so sorry. 323 00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:54,666 What great opportunity did I keep you from? 324 00:11:54,750 --> 00:11:57,833 Does KFC want you to be the new Colonel Sanders? 325 00:11:57,916 --> 00:12:00,625 - Oh, and that just wouldn't be cool, would it? 326 00:12:00,708 --> 00:12:03,500 God, I'm so sick of your pretentious bullshit. 327 00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:05,208 What have you even done? 328 00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,583 What I've done has gotten all those people in those seats. 329 00:12:07,666 --> 00:12:09,416 What you've done has gotten you booted out of LA, 330 00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,125 and now you're getting booted from here. 331 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:12,625 Get the hell out of my dressing room. 332 00:12:12,708 --> 00:12:15,083 - No. You're just scared to do the hard thing, 333 00:12:15,166 --> 00:12:18,250 so you're jumping at the first possible chance to bail. 334 00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:20,916 You're gonna do the same old tired shit you always do 335 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,833 because I was right the day I met you. 336 00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:24,750 You are a fucking hack. 337 00:12:29,375 --> 00:12:32,541 - Hello, my superstars. Who's ready to be funny? 338 00:12:36,916 --> 00:12:38,625 - Who slaps people? 339 00:12:38,708 --> 00:12:40,250 [somber piano music] 340 00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:43,291 Well...I quit, obviously. 341 00:12:43,375 --> 00:12:49,125 ♪ ♪ 342 00:12:49,208 --> 00:12:50,583 - Oh, we're gonna give you a minute. 343 00:12:50,666 --> 00:12:51,833 Kayla, let's go. 344 00:12:51,916 --> 00:12:58,666 ♪ ♪ 345 00:13:01,375 --> 00:13:03,500 [indistinct announcement over speakers] 346 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:06,708 [slot machine chiming] 347 00:13:08,416 --> 00:13:12,000 - I'll trade you a Xanny for a cigarette. 348 00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,291 - You got it. 349 00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,500 [rock music] 350 00:13:14,583 --> 00:13:15,833 - It's Kayla. 351 00:13:15,916 --> 00:13:17,291 Leave a message at the beep, babe. 352 00:13:17,375 --> 00:13:18,791 Beep. [laughs] 353 00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:20,166 Kidding. [beep] 354 00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:22,291 - Hey, Kayla. 355 00:13:22,375 --> 00:13:25,000 Can you send me the emails of those British writers? 356 00:13:25,083 --> 00:13:26,458 I know they're not gonna hire me, 357 00:13:26,541 --> 00:13:28,666 but I have some stories about Deborah 358 00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:30,750 they might want to use. 359 00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:34,333 ♪ ♪ 360 00:13:34,416 --> 00:13:37,291 [slot machine dings] 361 00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:41,041 [funky music] 362 00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:42,833 - [laughs] 363 00:13:42,916 --> 00:13:46,083 - You're a lucky man. You're a lucky man to have her. 364 00:13:46,166 --> 00:13:47,375 - Oh, no, no, no. She's my assistant. 365 00:13:47,458 --> 00:13:49,541 - Your sister? - My assistant. 366 00:13:49,625 --> 00:13:51,041 - He wishes I was his sister. 367 00:13:51,125 --> 00:13:53,000 - [laughs] Messy. 368 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,625 - Can you go get me a drink? 369 00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:56,666 - Absolutely. Love to. 370 00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:58,125 - [laughs] - Excuse me. 371 00:13:58,208 --> 00:14:00,583 Uh, Deborah, can I talk to you for a second? 372 00:14:00,666 --> 00:14:03,041 - Um, sure, of course. Excuse us. 373 00:14:03,125 --> 00:14:04,875 - Okay, thank you. 374 00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:10,041 I know this isn't the best time to do this, 375 00:14:10,125 --> 00:14:14,375 but I'm worried if I don't say it now, I'll never say it. 376 00:14:14,458 --> 00:14:16,666 I realize that I've prioritized your business-- 377 00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:19,708 - And I have completely taken that for granted. 378 00:14:19,791 --> 00:14:21,458 And I'm sorry. You were right. 379 00:14:21,541 --> 00:14:23,208 You've been right the whole time, Marcus. 380 00:14:23,291 --> 00:14:26,166 I was wrong to cancel meetings with you the last few weeks. 381 00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:30,250 It's just been stupid and... I want to take my business 382 00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:32,833 to the next level, and I want to do it with you. 383 00:14:33,958 --> 00:14:37,583 - That's...what I want too, exactly. 384 00:14:37,666 --> 00:14:39,083 - Good. Good. 385 00:14:39,166 --> 00:14:41,791 And I want to make you CEO, effective immediately, 386 00:14:41,875 --> 00:14:44,958 with a 10% raise. 387 00:14:45,041 --> 00:14:47,541 - Okay. Um... 388 00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,625 Great. Thank you. - No, please. 389 00:14:49,708 --> 00:14:52,875 Please don't thank me. You deserve this. 390 00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:55,583 - So did you decide on the shoes? 391 00:14:55,666 --> 00:14:58,791 - Oh, the shoes, yes. Marcus, help me here. 392 00:14:58,875 --> 00:15:01,333 Do I wear the lower heel, which I know I can walk in, 393 00:15:01,416 --> 00:15:03,958 or do I go with the fabulous stilettos? 394 00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:06,916 - Aren't they gorgeous? - Beautiful. 395 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,791 I think the low heel. The pain's not worth it. 396 00:15:09,875 --> 00:15:13,250 - Hmm. Okay, thanks. [laughs] 397 00:15:13,333 --> 00:15:15,625 ♪ ♪ 398 00:15:15,708 --> 00:15:18,625 - Hey. - [chuckles] Hey. 399 00:15:18,708 --> 00:15:21,125 - You look great. - You too. 400 00:15:21,208 --> 00:15:22,750 - So I have some good news. 401 00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:26,000 Deborah gave me a promotion, and I am now the CEO. 402 00:15:26,083 --> 00:15:27,375 - That's awesome. 403 00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:28,791 But wait, I thought you were already CEO. 404 00:15:28,875 --> 00:15:31,000 - I was COO. - Oh, well, congrats. 405 00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:32,500 I'm glad you got your E. - Thank you. 406 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:34,250 - And based on what I know about capitalism, 407 00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:36,291 I think now you don't have to worry about paying taxes. 408 00:15:36,375 --> 00:15:38,125 - [laughs] And I actually didn't even have to go 409 00:15:38,208 --> 00:15:40,416 into my whole spiel. She just did it. 410 00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,166 - Wait, so you didn't actually talk to her? 411 00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:44,458 - No, I didn't have to. 412 00:15:44,541 --> 00:15:47,375 If this is about Zion, we can still go. 413 00:15:47,458 --> 00:15:48,708 - We can still go? - Yeah. 414 00:15:48,791 --> 00:15:50,250 - We're going. The plan is to go. 415 00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:51,458 - Yes, of course. 416 00:15:51,541 --> 00:15:53,166 It's just, I have this new role, 417 00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:55,333 so I'm gonna have to do at least a little bit of work, 418 00:15:55,416 --> 00:15:57,333 just to stay on top of things for the next couple weeks. 419 00:15:57,416 --> 00:15:59,041 - The point of the trip is to not work. 420 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,500 - If you want to go when I have less work, 421 00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:02,041 then we can go in the summer. 422 00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:04,166 - Look, I really like you, but-- 423 00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:05,625 - But what? 424 00:16:05,708 --> 00:16:07,250 If you think I'm not ready for a relationship, 425 00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:10,333 because I'm-- - No. No, that's not it. 426 00:16:10,416 --> 00:16:12,500 'Cause you're already in a relationship. 427 00:16:12,583 --> 00:16:13,875 With Deborah. - No. 428 00:16:13,958 --> 00:16:16,041 Let's go outside and then talk. 429 00:16:16,125 --> 00:16:17,791 Whatever you want, I am in. - Hey. 430 00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:19,291 Deborah's about to do her toast. 431 00:16:19,375 --> 00:16:20,416 - Shit. 432 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:21,791 Okay, I do have to go backstage. 433 00:16:21,875 --> 00:16:23,250 But come with me, all right? 434 00:16:23,333 --> 00:16:25,000 We can have some champagne. We can sit. 435 00:16:25,083 --> 00:16:28,875 - No. I'm gonna go. 436 00:16:28,958 --> 00:16:30,666 - Wilson, I-- 437 00:16:35,916 --> 00:16:38,375 [tapping glass] 438 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,916 Thank you, every single one of you, 439 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,458 so, so much for coming tonight. 440 00:16:45,541 --> 00:16:47,250 And please, when you're out there, 441 00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:48,541 when in doubt, laugh. 442 00:16:48,625 --> 00:16:50,333 [laughter] And I beg you, 443 00:16:50,416 --> 00:16:53,041 don't let the standing ovation go longer than five minutes. 444 00:16:53,125 --> 00:16:55,958 But not less than four, 'cause that's Celine's record. 445 00:16:56,041 --> 00:16:57,583 [laughter] 446 00:16:57,666 --> 00:16:59,708 Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go say my prayers, 447 00:16:59,791 --> 00:17:00,875 so I'll see you out there. 448 00:17:00,958 --> 00:17:02,083 Cheers. all: Cheers. 449 00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:04,458 - Whoo! 450 00:17:04,541 --> 00:17:07,875 [clears throat] Um, Deborah? 451 00:17:07,958 --> 00:17:09,041 - Jimmy? 452 00:17:09,125 --> 00:17:10,416 - I just wanted to say, 453 00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,125 when my father passed, 454 00:17:12,208 --> 00:17:14,375 you didn't need to stick with me, but you did. 455 00:17:14,458 --> 00:17:16,750 - Bitch, you got this, bitch! 456 00:17:16,833 --> 00:17:18,041 I believe in you, girlie. 457 00:17:18,125 --> 00:17:19,750 Mmm. [laughs] 458 00:17:19,833 --> 00:17:21,541 - Get her out of here. - Okay, let's go. 459 00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:23,458 Break a leg. - Thanks. 460 00:17:29,166 --> 00:17:31,250 [sighs] 461 00:17:50,916 --> 00:17:53,875 [soft piano music] 462 00:17:53,958 --> 00:18:01,041 ♪ ♪ 463 00:18:14,666 --> 00:18:18,333 - Ladies and gentlemen, for the very last time 464 00:18:18,416 --> 00:18:22,625 at the Palmetto Theatre, please welcome to the stage 465 00:18:22,708 --> 00:18:29,708 the one, the only, Deborah Vance! 466 00:18:29,791 --> 00:18:32,750 [cheers and applause] 467 00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:39,291 ♪ ♪ 468 00:18:39,375 --> 00:18:41,291 - I love you. Thank you. 469 00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:45,291 Thank you so much, Las Vegas. I love you! 470 00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:48,500 [cheers and applause] 471 00:18:48,583 --> 00:18:51,250 You're gonna make me cry. 472 00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:54,041 You're gonna make me cry. [laughs] 473 00:18:54,125 --> 00:18:57,083 [cheers and applause] 474 00:18:57,166 --> 00:18:59,125 Oh, thank you. 475 00:18:59,208 --> 00:19:02,208 Thank you so much. Thank you so much. 476 00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:06,041 It is wonderful to be at the Palmetto 477 00:19:06,125 --> 00:19:07,833 one last time. 478 00:19:07,916 --> 00:19:10,083 all: Aww. 479 00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:12,958 - I know. I know. 480 00:19:13,041 --> 00:19:15,250 Wow. 481 00:19:15,333 --> 00:19:18,541 I have been up here on this stage 482 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:22,000 through so much over the years. 483 00:19:22,083 --> 00:19:26,750 When the Berlin Wall came down, I was on this stage. 484 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:30,708 When people were hiding in their bomb shelters on Y2K, 485 00:19:30,791 --> 00:19:32,583 I was on this stage. 486 00:19:32,666 --> 00:19:34,708 When Bernie Madoff got arrested, 487 00:19:34,791 --> 00:19:36,291 I was on the phone with my accountant 488 00:19:36,375 --> 00:19:37,708 crying hysterically. 489 00:19:37,791 --> 00:19:40,875 [laughter] 490 00:19:40,958 --> 00:19:43,291 And on every one of those nights, 491 00:19:43,375 --> 00:19:46,250 I told a lot of the same jokes. 492 00:19:48,041 --> 00:19:51,000 But tonight, I'm not gonna tell you those same ones. 493 00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:56,083 Instead... 494 00:19:56,166 --> 00:19:59,958 I'm gonna tell you why... 495 00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:01,625 I told those jokes. 496 00:20:01,708 --> 00:20:04,625 [hopeful music] 497 00:20:04,708 --> 00:20:11,416 ♪ ♪ 498 00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:14,583 [wind whistling] 499 00:20:22,708 --> 00:20:24,125 - Hi, Mom. - Oh. 500 00:20:24,208 --> 00:20:26,750 - I'm so sorry. I can't believe I missed him. 501 00:20:26,833 --> 00:20:28,166 - Oh, honey. 502 00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:31,250 Ugh, I'm sorry. I can't hang up right now. 503 00:20:31,333 --> 00:20:33,666 I've been on hold for 40 minutes. 504 00:20:33,750 --> 00:20:35,750 Um, was your flight okay? 505 00:20:35,833 --> 00:20:38,291 - Yeah, it was fine. - Hello? Hello? 506 00:20:38,375 --> 00:20:41,083 No, look, I just--I can't. I can't do this right now. 507 00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:43,250 Can you do this? - Yeah. 508 00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:44,750 Hello? - No one's there. 509 00:20:44,833 --> 00:20:46,541 No one's there right now, but when they get on, 510 00:20:46,625 --> 00:20:50,125 tell them that you need to cancel the baseball channels 511 00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:52,125 for the account of Dennis Daniels. 512 00:20:52,208 --> 00:20:53,666 And the reason for the cancellation 513 00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:55,000 is that he's deceased. 514 00:20:55,083 --> 00:20:56,750 - Mom, please, the baseball channel? 515 00:20:56,833 --> 00:20:59,625 Can--it's so late. Can we please do this tomorrow? 516 00:20:59,708 --> 00:21:01,791 - Tomorrow we have to call the cousins. 517 00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:10,125 [bright music] 518 00:21:10,208 --> 00:21:13,125 [scratching] 519 00:21:13,208 --> 00:21:17,375 ♪ ♪ 520 00:21:17,458 --> 00:21:21,708 [meowing] 521 00:21:21,791 --> 00:21:24,041 - Ugh. 522 00:21:29,541 --> 00:21:31,833 [sighs] 523 00:21:47,166 --> 00:21:49,208 - Ava? Oh, good. 524 00:21:49,291 --> 00:21:51,666 You're awake so early. - Yeah, I do that now. 525 00:21:51,750 --> 00:21:54,833 I gotta be up before Kelly Ripa's day is done. 526 00:21:54,916 --> 00:21:57,333 Um, when did you get a cat? 527 00:21:57,416 --> 00:22:00,166 - You were here when we got Mr. Cream Pie. 528 00:22:00,250 --> 00:22:01,666 - No, I wasn't. First of all, 529 00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:03,166 I'm allergic to cats, and also, if I was here, 530 00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:04,583 I wouldn't have let you name him that. 531 00:22:04,666 --> 00:22:06,833 - You named him. I remember. - Oh, no. 532 00:22:06,916 --> 00:22:09,500 Oh, no, I didn't. - I said, what do we think? 533 00:22:09,583 --> 00:22:11,666 And you didn't know-- is he male, female? 534 00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:13,833 I said he's male. You said Mr. Cream Pie. 535 00:22:13,916 --> 00:22:15,458 - Yeah, Ma, none of that happened. 536 00:22:15,541 --> 00:22:16,875 Yeah, literally none of it. - Okay. 537 00:22:16,958 --> 00:22:20,750 Anyway, look, I-- do you like this image 538 00:22:20,833 --> 00:22:22,166 that I--I chose that 539 00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:25,041 for your father's prayer ca-card. 540 00:22:25,125 --> 00:22:27,333 - Yeah. Yeah, it's nice. 541 00:22:27,416 --> 00:22:29,541 "He is survived by his loving wife Nina 542 00:22:29,625 --> 00:22:31,916 and his daughter Ava Daniels of Las Vegas, Nevada"? 543 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,625 Mom, I don't live in Las Vegas. 544 00:22:33,708 --> 00:22:35,583 - Well, last I heard, yes, you do, 545 00:22:35,666 --> 00:22:37,708 unless you moved again without telling me. 546 00:22:37,791 --> 00:22:40,041 - No, no. I just went there for a job. 547 00:22:40,125 --> 00:22:42,708 And it ended up really not working out. 548 00:22:42,791 --> 00:22:45,541 So I'm not going back. - Oh, God. 549 00:22:45,625 --> 00:22:47,708 - Mom, are you freaking out? - Yeah, a little. 550 00:22:47,791 --> 00:22:49,375 'Cause it's just--you know, 551 00:22:49,458 --> 00:22:51,708 you've chosen such an unstable career, 552 00:22:51,791 --> 00:22:54,083 and no mother wants to watch her child suffer. 553 00:22:54,166 --> 00:22:55,791 And now we'll have to euthanize the cat. 554 00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:57,125 - What? - Yes! 555 00:22:57,208 --> 00:22:59,208 We have to euthanize Mr. Cream Pie 556 00:22:59,291 --> 00:23:00,916 because he's going to have to leave this room 557 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,875 when you move in, and it is just wrong 558 00:23:02,958 --> 00:23:04,416 to take a cat back to the shelter, Ava. 559 00:23:04,500 --> 00:23:05,916 It's just wrong. 560 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,208 - No, I'm not moving back in. 561 00:23:07,291 --> 00:23:08,708 Can we--forget it. 562 00:23:08,791 --> 00:23:11,333 Let's just focus on the arrangements, please. 563 00:23:11,416 --> 00:23:13,208 Please. - All right. 564 00:23:13,291 --> 00:23:16,250 For the service, you're reading Lamentations. 565 00:23:16,333 --> 00:23:17,375 - Oh. 566 00:23:17,458 --> 00:23:18,791 Well, I wanted to read a eulogy. 567 00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:20,666 I just started working on it. 568 00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:23,416 - A eulogy? Ava, please. 569 00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:24,875 It's your father's funeral. 570 00:23:24,958 --> 00:23:27,875 I don't need you saying anything crazy, 571 00:23:27,958 --> 00:23:29,916 like when you told your grandmother 572 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,291 that you were pro-choice. 573 00:23:31,375 --> 00:23:32,750 - But I am pro-choice. 574 00:23:32,833 --> 00:23:35,125 - Yeah, but you don't need to say it. 575 00:23:35,208 --> 00:23:36,833 Please, just stick to the reading. 576 00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:39,791 - Okay, I just--I think it would be more personal 577 00:23:39,875 --> 00:23:41,250 to read something that I've written, 578 00:23:41,333 --> 00:23:43,791 not, like, just some stock Bible passage. 579 00:23:43,875 --> 00:23:46,875 - Okay, so now you're a better writer than God. 580 00:23:46,958 --> 00:23:48,125 I get it. - Yeah, Mom. 581 00:23:48,208 --> 00:23:49,625 Well, God didn't write Lamentations, 582 00:23:49,708 --> 00:23:51,708 and also, He doesn't exist. 583 00:23:51,791 --> 00:23:53,583 - Ah! Not now! 584 00:23:53,666 --> 00:23:55,666 Ava, I know that you think 585 00:23:55,750 --> 00:23:57,375 that everybody needs to hear from you, 586 00:23:57,458 --> 00:24:00,458 but it's just--it's just-- it's your father's funeral. 587 00:24:00,541 --> 00:24:02,833 Today has to be about your dad. 588 00:24:02,916 --> 00:24:04,791 - You know what? You're right. You're right. 589 00:24:04,875 --> 00:24:06,291 No one does want to hear from me 590 00:24:06,375 --> 00:24:08,708 or read what I've written or say it on stage, 591 00:24:08,791 --> 00:24:11,791 so I'm just gonna stop trying. 592 00:24:11,875 --> 00:24:14,541 I'll do whatever you want. - Okay, great. 593 00:24:14,625 --> 00:24:16,291 Do you want some coffee? 594 00:24:16,375 --> 00:24:19,458 I made some. Anniversary blend? 595 00:24:19,541 --> 00:24:21,916 - Yeah, all right. - Okay, great. 596 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,916 [soft music] 597 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:29,041 ♪ ♪ 598 00:24:29,125 --> 00:24:30,958 - Thank you for coming. 599 00:24:31,041 --> 00:24:33,333 - Before we move to the mass 600 00:24:33,416 --> 00:24:35,125 at St. Elizabeth's, we'd like to invite anyone 601 00:24:35,208 --> 00:24:38,416 who'd like to say a few words about Dennis to do so now. 602 00:24:40,791 --> 00:24:44,500 Is there anyone that would like to stand up? 603 00:24:45,625 --> 00:24:48,166 Say a few words? 604 00:24:48,250 --> 00:24:52,458 - [sobbing] 605 00:24:52,541 --> 00:24:54,666 - Oh, God. This is so awkward. 606 00:24:54,750 --> 00:24:56,791 This is painful. Excuse me. 607 00:24:56,875 --> 00:24:58,833 This is not how you're supposed to do this. 608 00:24:58,916 --> 00:25:01,458 Excuse me. Sorry. If-if you wouldn't mind. 609 00:25:01,541 --> 00:25:04,875 Just--um, yeah, see, you can't just ask people 610 00:25:04,958 --> 00:25:07,875 to come up impromptu and not warmed up. 611 00:25:07,958 --> 00:25:10,333 Because it's just too hard to do cold, you know. 612 00:25:10,416 --> 00:25:14,541 There's just too much pressure. And these people are exhausted. 613 00:25:16,333 --> 00:25:21,041 It's exhausting to lose a loved one. 614 00:25:21,125 --> 00:25:22,375 And now everybody's uncomfortable 615 00:25:22,458 --> 00:25:23,791 because they think that no one has 616 00:25:23,875 --> 00:25:26,250 anything nice to say about this man. 617 00:25:26,333 --> 00:25:27,708 And I know that you do. 618 00:25:27,791 --> 00:25:29,125 Not because I knew him. I didn't. 619 00:25:29,208 --> 00:25:31,166 But I know his daughter. 620 00:25:31,250 --> 00:25:34,333 And I know that he had to be a very special person 621 00:25:34,416 --> 00:25:37,000 to raise someone like her. 622 00:25:38,791 --> 00:25:41,708 So let's try this again. 623 00:25:41,791 --> 00:25:45,583 Uh, you, sir. How did you know Dennis? 624 00:25:45,666 --> 00:25:47,958 - Uh, he was my cousin. - Oh, I'm sorry for your loss. 625 00:25:48,041 --> 00:25:49,291 - Thank you. 626 00:25:49,375 --> 00:25:51,416 - So what was the drunkest you ever saw him? 627 00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:53,750 [laughter] - Oh. Wow. 628 00:25:53,833 --> 00:25:56,875 Well, you know, when he had so many screwdrivers 629 00:25:56,958 --> 00:25:58,541 the night before my wedding, 630 00:25:58,625 --> 00:26:01,083 he went back to my room and threw up in my dress shoes. 631 00:26:01,166 --> 00:26:03,208 [laughter] - He did. 632 00:26:03,291 --> 00:26:05,625 My, God. I'd forgotten about that. 633 00:26:05,708 --> 00:26:07,958 - He'd already have been dead at my house. 634 00:26:08,041 --> 00:26:09,375 - Well, I didn't know about it. 635 00:26:09,458 --> 00:26:10,708 Because he felt so bad, 636 00:26:10,791 --> 00:26:13,083 he switched out his shoes for mine. 637 00:26:13,166 --> 00:26:14,750 I only realized it when I got to the altar, 638 00:26:14,833 --> 00:26:17,750 and I looked down and he's wearing flip flops. 639 00:26:17,833 --> 00:26:19,666 - Oh, my God, it was a blizzard 640 00:26:19,750 --> 00:26:21,916 and he was just in his little... 641 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,416 [laughter] 642 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:26,333 ♪ ♪ 643 00:26:26,416 --> 00:26:28,250 - Oh, my God. Hey, excuse me, Miss, you. 644 00:26:28,333 --> 00:26:30,333 Did Dennis ever get you into any kind of trouble? 645 00:26:30,416 --> 00:26:32,166 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, boy, here we go. 646 00:26:32,250 --> 00:26:34,250 - Oh, it involved an ice cream truck 647 00:26:34,333 --> 00:26:37,416 and a hot wire, and that's as far as I will go. 648 00:26:37,500 --> 00:26:39,166 [laughter] 649 00:26:39,250 --> 00:26:44,208 ♪ ♪ 650 00:26:44,291 --> 00:26:46,125 [soft chatter] 651 00:26:46,208 --> 00:26:48,375 - Oh, my God, Wendy. 652 00:26:48,458 --> 00:26:50,666 Oh, I love you. Thank you for coming. 653 00:26:50,750 --> 00:26:52,541 Thank you. 654 00:26:52,625 --> 00:26:54,041 I mean, it's Wendy, right? 655 00:27:07,375 --> 00:27:09,333 - Hey, shoes off. 656 00:27:09,416 --> 00:27:11,291 - Really? - No, I'm just kidding. 657 00:27:11,375 --> 00:27:14,125 It smells like cat shit in here. 658 00:27:14,208 --> 00:27:17,666 - Uh, by the way, this? 659 00:27:17,750 --> 00:27:19,791 Positively extra-terrestrial. 660 00:27:19,875 --> 00:27:21,583 - Yeah, you were right about that. 661 00:27:21,666 --> 00:27:23,500 I've had gigantic hands my entire life. 662 00:27:23,583 --> 00:27:24,750 Yesterday, I went into the garage 663 00:27:24,833 --> 00:27:26,416 and I found a basketball, and yeah, 664 00:27:26,500 --> 00:27:28,166 I can absolutely palm it. 665 00:27:28,250 --> 00:27:30,458 - [chuckles] 666 00:27:30,541 --> 00:27:32,125 - Sorry, I've been running around. 667 00:27:32,208 --> 00:27:33,916 - Oh. 668 00:27:36,958 --> 00:27:38,958 - A lot of people to talk to. - Mm-hmm. 669 00:27:39,041 --> 00:27:41,708 - Especially my Uncle Mitch, who really doesn't want me 670 00:27:41,791 --> 00:27:43,291 to do 23andMe, 671 00:27:43,375 --> 00:27:46,083 so now I'm pretty much convinced he's a serial killer. 672 00:27:46,166 --> 00:27:49,000 - Yeah, one in every family. - [laughs] 673 00:27:52,791 --> 00:27:54,833 - How're you doin'? 674 00:27:54,916 --> 00:27:56,875 - Honestly? 675 00:27:56,958 --> 00:27:58,958 Weirdly fine. 676 00:27:59,041 --> 00:28:00,666 Or, like, numb? 677 00:28:00,750 --> 00:28:02,833 I don't know. I haven't even cried yet. 678 00:28:02,916 --> 00:28:05,916 When does it, like, hit you? 679 00:28:08,500 --> 00:28:09,750 - Never all at once. 680 00:28:09,833 --> 00:28:12,791 It's just kind of a bunch of tiny ways. 681 00:28:12,875 --> 00:28:14,833 You know, like, over and over, 682 00:28:14,916 --> 00:28:18,333 just--well, that's how it was for me. 683 00:28:19,958 --> 00:28:22,500 - I've mostly just been busy making sure my mom's head 684 00:28:22,583 --> 00:28:24,541 doesn't fly fully off of her body. 685 00:28:24,625 --> 00:28:27,208 - Mm. - Thanks for making her laugh. 686 00:28:27,291 --> 00:28:29,375 - Sure. [chuckles] 687 00:28:31,708 --> 00:28:34,458 - Being back in this house is just making me remember 688 00:28:34,541 --> 00:28:36,875 that I always felt 689 00:28:36,958 --> 00:28:40,000 really, really lonely here. 690 00:28:40,083 --> 00:28:41,416 I think that's why 691 00:28:41,500 --> 00:28:43,083 I started doing comedy in the first place. 692 00:28:43,166 --> 00:28:46,916 Because it was just a way for me to feel connected 693 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,208 to people who thought about things the way I did. 694 00:28:49,291 --> 00:28:51,333 But now I'm just like, 695 00:28:51,416 --> 00:28:53,291 maybe I shouldn't shape my entire existence 696 00:28:53,375 --> 00:28:56,208 around a response to a shitty childhood. 697 00:28:56,291 --> 00:28:59,666 That's not a very good reason to pursue a career. 698 00:29:00,875 --> 00:29:02,541 - I don't know if that's true. 699 00:29:02,625 --> 00:29:04,875 I mean, what's a good reason to pursue any career? 700 00:29:04,958 --> 00:29:06,916 - Your grandfather owned a cement truck, 701 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,500 and your name's already on the side of it? 702 00:29:09,583 --> 00:29:11,125 - Yeah, there's that. 703 00:29:14,666 --> 00:29:16,250 - I'm not sure. 704 00:29:16,333 --> 00:29:18,958 But I gotta figure something else out. 705 00:29:19,041 --> 00:29:21,958 'Cause I'm done. 706 00:29:24,166 --> 00:29:27,208 - Well, no. 707 00:29:27,291 --> 00:29:29,208 You can't quit. 708 00:29:29,291 --> 00:29:31,541 You're too good. 709 00:29:38,875 --> 00:29:40,041 - [softly] I'm sorry. 710 00:29:40,125 --> 00:29:42,375 [sobbing] 711 00:29:42,458 --> 00:29:46,000 - You know, crying... 712 00:29:46,083 --> 00:29:49,166 gives you wrinkles. 713 00:29:49,250 --> 00:29:50,541 You need to learn how to cry 714 00:29:50,625 --> 00:29:52,125 without moving your forehead at all. 715 00:29:52,208 --> 00:29:53,916 It's like-- 716 00:29:59,333 --> 00:30:01,541 - That's how you cry? - Yeah, I trained myself. 717 00:30:01,625 --> 00:30:02,791 I'm a pro. 718 00:30:02,875 --> 00:30:04,833 - [laughs] You are. 719 00:30:04,916 --> 00:30:06,166 - Plus, you know, a little injection 720 00:30:06,250 --> 00:30:08,000 here and here doesn't hurt either. 721 00:30:08,083 --> 00:30:11,333 - [laughs] 722 00:30:14,083 --> 00:30:17,083 Oh, shit. The show. 723 00:30:17,166 --> 00:30:18,541 How did it go? 724 00:30:18,625 --> 00:30:21,833 - Well, I did the new material. 725 00:30:21,916 --> 00:30:23,916 - And? 726 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,458 - I bombed. 727 00:30:25,541 --> 00:30:26,708 - You're joking. 728 00:30:26,791 --> 00:30:29,625 - Well, a few things worked, but... 729 00:30:29,708 --> 00:30:31,583 yeah, I mostly bombed. 730 00:30:31,666 --> 00:30:33,666 - Oh, no. 731 00:30:33,750 --> 00:30:36,916 Did you come all the way here to bury me with my dad? 732 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:40,625 - No. No, I-I bombed. 733 00:30:42,625 --> 00:30:46,541 And I loved it. 734 00:30:46,625 --> 00:30:49,375 I haven't felt that way in years. 735 00:30:49,458 --> 00:30:51,916 The show didn't work, but it will. 736 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000 The pieces are there. 737 00:30:54,083 --> 00:30:57,708 I just have to figure out how to put them together. 738 00:30:57,791 --> 00:31:02,083 And the best way to do that is to work it out on the road. 739 00:31:03,208 --> 00:31:06,541 - So you're gonna go on tour again. 740 00:31:06,625 --> 00:31:09,666 - Yes. 741 00:31:09,750 --> 00:31:11,875 With you. I hope. 742 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:16,666 I mean, the show was your idea, after all. 743 00:31:20,708 --> 00:31:24,083 - And you, like, can't do it without me? 744 00:31:24,166 --> 00:31:26,958 - Oh, I could absolutely do it without you. 745 00:31:27,041 --> 00:31:29,208 But, you know, it would probably be, 746 00:31:29,291 --> 00:31:31,625 you know, a lot less fun. 747 00:31:34,375 --> 00:31:37,333 - Okay, but you really can't hit people. 748 00:31:37,416 --> 00:31:41,041 - I know. I-I'm so sorry. 749 00:31:41,125 --> 00:31:42,916 - So are you ever gonna do that again? 750 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,125 - No. - And are you gonna switch 751 00:31:45,208 --> 00:31:46,916 to a health plan that covers dental? 752 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:47,958 - No. 753 00:31:48,041 --> 00:31:49,750 - [laughs] 754 00:31:53,958 --> 00:31:55,583 Deal. 755 00:31:55,666 --> 00:31:58,583 [soft piano music] 756 00:31:58,666 --> 00:32:05,791 ♪ ♪ 757 00:32:08,208 --> 00:32:10,291 - I'm kidding. I'm joking. 758 00:32:10,375 --> 00:32:11,625 - Just doing some last minute approval 759 00:32:11,708 --> 00:32:13,250 of the "Best Of" compilation. 760 00:32:13,333 --> 00:32:14,333 - Ah. 761 00:32:14,416 --> 00:32:18,416 ♪ ♪ 762 00:32:18,500 --> 00:32:20,041 You okay? 763 00:32:20,125 --> 00:32:22,375 - Yeah, everything's great. 764 00:32:22,458 --> 00:32:25,041 I'm CEO now. 765 00:32:25,125 --> 00:32:27,833 - Mm-hmm. 766 00:32:30,458 --> 00:32:34,416 Do you have on toe shoes? 767 00:32:34,500 --> 00:32:35,375 - Yeah. 768 00:32:35,458 --> 00:32:37,208 - They're ugly, honey. 769 00:32:37,291 --> 00:32:41,833 ♪ ♪ 770 00:32:41,916 --> 00:32:43,500 - Yeah, I know. 771 00:32:43,583 --> 00:32:50,666 ♪ ♪ 772 00:32:55,166 --> 00:32:58,208 [phone ringing] 773 00:32:58,291 --> 00:32:59,666 - Hi. I only have a second. 774 00:32:59,750 --> 00:33:01,791 I'm on my way back to Vegas with Deborah. 775 00:33:01,875 --> 00:33:03,500 - Well, that's interesting, because you know 776 00:33:03,583 --> 00:33:06,000 those British writers that Kayla had you meet with? 777 00:33:06,083 --> 00:33:08,125 I just got a call from their agent 778 00:33:08,208 --> 00:33:10,333 about a very intense and revealing email 779 00:33:10,416 --> 00:33:12,750 you apparently sent about Deborah. 780 00:33:12,833 --> 00:33:14,625 What the fuck did you do, Ava? 781 00:33:14,708 --> 00:33:18,250 - We're cleared for takeoff. - Thank you. 782 00:33:18,333 --> 00:33:20,083 - Uh, Jimmy, I gotta call you back. 783 00:33:20,166 --> 00:33:21,541 - Yeah, you'd better. 784 00:33:21,625 --> 00:33:23,541 [Nina Simone's "Feeling Good"] 785 00:33:23,625 --> 00:33:25,583 - ♪ River running free ♪ 786 00:33:25,666 --> 00:33:29,500 ♪ You know how I feel ♪ 787 00:33:29,583 --> 00:33:32,208 - Buckle up. Here we go. 788 00:33:32,291 --> 00:33:34,500 - ♪ You know how I feel ♪ 789 00:33:34,583 --> 00:33:37,875 ♪ It's a new dawn, it's a new day ♪ 790 00:33:37,958 --> 00:33:40,708 ♪ It's a new life ♪ 791 00:33:40,791 --> 00:33:43,375 ♪ For me ♪ 792 00:33:43,458 --> 00:33:47,500 ♪ And I'm feeling good ♪ 793 00:33:47,583 --> 00:33:51,208 ♪ ♪ 794 00:33:51,291 --> 00:33:53,541 ♪ Dragonfly out in the sun ♪ 795 00:33:53,625 --> 00:33:57,875 ♪ You know what I mean, don't you know? ♪ 796 00:33:57,958 --> 00:34:00,708 ♪ Butterflies all having fun ♪ 797 00:34:00,791 --> 00:34:04,208 ♪ You know what I mean ♪ 798 00:34:04,291 --> 00:34:07,291 ♪ Sleep in peace when day is done ♪ 799 00:34:07,375 --> 00:34:09,583 ♪ That's what I mean ♪ 800 00:34:09,666 --> 00:34:13,000 ♪ And this old world is a new world ♪ 801 00:34:13,083 --> 00:34:15,916 ♪ And a bold world ♪ 802 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,875 ♪ For me ♪ 803 00:34:17,958 --> 00:34:19,541 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 804 00:34:19,625 --> 00:34:23,750 ♪ ♪ 805 00:34:23,833 --> 00:34:28,875 ♪ Stars when you shine, you know how I feel ♪ 806 00:34:30,500 --> 00:34:35,166 ♪ Scent of the pine, you know how I feel ♪ 807 00:34:35,250 --> 00:34:39,375 ♪ Oh, freedom is mine ♪ 808 00:34:39,458 --> 00:34:42,208 ♪ And I know how I feel ♪ 809 00:34:42,291 --> 00:34:45,583 ♪ It's a new dawn, it's a new day ♪ 810 00:34:45,666 --> 00:34:48,166 ♪ It's a new life ♪ 811 00:34:48,250 --> 00:34:50,291 ♪ For me ♪ 812 00:34:50,375 --> 00:34:52,125 [scatting] 813 00:34:52,208 --> 00:34:57,791 ♪ Oh, I'm feeling good ♪ 55264

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