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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,801 --> 00:00:03,303 ♪♪ upbeat music ♪♪ 2 00:00:03,370 --> 00:00:06,000 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 3 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:06,106 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 4 00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,808 ♪♪ It’s Showtime tonight ♪♪ 5 00:00:07,874 --> 00:00:10,077 [Keith] Previously on Black Monday.. 6 00:00:10,143 --> 00:00:11,210 [yells] 7 00:00:11,277 --> 00:00:12,000 Ms. Nomi Maldana, 8 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:12,980 Ms. Nomi Maldana, 9 00:00:13,046 --> 00:00:14,915 our latest signing to KokoMo Co Records. 10 00:00:14,981 --> 00:00:17,617 And your fiancée. We’re getting hitched, y’all. 11 00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:18,000 Yeah. 12 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:18,618 Yeah. 13 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,087 [Harris] At some point in your life, 14 00:00:20,153 --> 00:00:22,822 you stopped caring about anybody but yourself. 15 00:00:22,889 --> 00:00:24,000 From now on, I’m gonna be good and true. 16 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,459 From now on, I’m gonna be good and true. 17 00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:28,728 How about unlimited power, sex, and money? 18 00:00:28,795 --> 00:00:30,000 A million dollars went missing from the company last night. 19 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,497 A million dollars went missing from the company last night. 20 00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:33,333 Political donations are a legitimate business expense. 21 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,802 Fuck it, I’m through. Whoo! Whoo! 22 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,000 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 23 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,771 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 24 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:45,945 ♪♪ Ooh, baby, baby ♪♪ 25 00:00:46,012 --> 00:00:47,313 ♪♪ Baby, baby ♪♪ 26 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,000 ♪♪ Ooh, baby, baby ♪♪ 27 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:49,315 ♪♪ Ooh, baby, baby ♪♪ 28 00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,883 ♪♪ Baby, baby ♪♪ 29 00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:51,718 ♪♪ Get up on this ♪♪ 30 00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,000 ♪♪ Salt-N-Pepa’s "Push It" ♪ 31 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:54,721 ♪♪ Salt-N-Pepa’s "Push It" ♪ 32 00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:58,158 ♪♪ upbeat electronic music ♪ 33 00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,000 ♪♪ Pssh, ah, push it! ♪♪ 34 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:00,193 ♪♪ Pssh, ah, push it! ♪♪ 35 00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:01,795 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 36 00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:02,929 [sniffs] 37 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:06,000 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 38 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,400 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 39 00:01:07,467 --> 00:01:09,335 ♪♪ Yo, yo, yo, yo, baby pop 40 00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:11,972 ♪♪ Yeah, you, come here, give me a kiss ♪♪ 41 00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:14,975 ♪♪ Better make it fast or else I’m gonna get pissed 42 00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:17,244 ♪♪ Can’t you hear the music’s pumpin’ hard ♪♪ 43 00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,000 ♪♪ Like I wish you would? ♪ 44 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:18,846 ♪♪ Like I wish you would? ♪ 45 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,213 ♪♪ Now push it ♪♪ 46 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,181 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 47 00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:23,850 ♪♪ Push it good ♪♪ 48 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:24,000 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 49 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,351 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 50 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,421 ♪♪ Push it real good! ♪♪ 51 00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:29,656 [grunts, shudders] 52 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:30,000 [laughter] 53 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,925 [laughter] 54 00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:34,495 [all cheering] 55 00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:36,000 ♪♪ Ah, push it ♪♪ 56 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:36,396 ♪♪ Ah, push it ♪♪ 57 00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:40,434 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 58 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:42,000 Nancy, hello. Good to see you. 59 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:42,301 Nancy, hello. Good to see you. 60 00:01:42,368 --> 00:01:45,271 Don’t work too hard. Hey, Diane. 61 00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:46,472 ♪♪ Get up on this ♪♪ 62 00:01:46,539 --> 00:01:48,000 ♪♪ Push-push-push it, push it 63 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:48,641 ♪♪ Push-push-push it, push it 64 00:01:48,708 --> 00:01:51,678 [retching] 65 00:01:51,744 --> 00:01:54,000 [groans, coughs] 66 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,248 [groans, coughs] 67 00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:56,917 We can’t afford this. 68 00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:59,586 Okay, I am the one they call "Jeansus." 69 00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:00,000 Okay, well then call me "Jew-das." 70 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,122 Okay, well then call me "Jew-das." 71 00:02:02,189 --> 00:02:03,724 Emphasis on the Jew, okay? 72 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,759 That’s what I’ve been calling you behind your back. 73 00:02:05,825 --> 00:02:06,000 [accordion playing funeral march on stereo] 74 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,160 [accordion playing funeral march on stereo] 75 00:02:07,227 --> 00:02:08,228 What the-- 76 00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:10,930 -Fuck is this? -Ooh, boy. 77 00:02:10,997 --> 00:02:12,000 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 78 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,935 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 79 00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:18,000 Tiff. 80 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:18,805 Tiff. 81 00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,909 -Tiff. -[Tiff] Baby girl. 82 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,000 Wow. 83 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:24,545 Wow. 84 00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:26,112 That’s enough, Dustin. 85 00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:27,580 [Tiff] I am so sorry. 86 00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,916 I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a father 87 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:30,000 who didn’t kidnap you. 88 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,184 who didn’t kidnap you. 89 00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:33,453 Pastor was an amazing man. 90 00:02:33,519 --> 00:02:36,000 Yeah, well, at least he’s with God now. 91 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:36,489 Yeah, well, at least he’s with God now. 92 00:02:36,556 --> 00:02:39,258 And Jesus, right? Was Jesus up there too? 93 00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,995 I-I know there’s a third one. Uh, is it ghost? 94 00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:43,597 Silence, usurper. 95 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:46,366 Corkie, if there’s absolutely anything you need, 96 00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:47,701 please, just say the word. 97 00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:48,000 The word. 98 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,035 The word. 99 00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:51,538 [laughing] 100 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,841 Sorry, you have to laugh in times like these. 101 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:54,000 Yeah. 102 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:54,907 Yeah. 103 00:02:54,974 --> 00:02:56,410 Tiff, could I ask you 104 00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:59,612 to take care of the pastor’s funeral? 105 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:00,000 I can’t. 106 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:00,713 I can’t. 107 00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:03,316 Of course, of course. I would love to. 108 00:03:03,382 --> 00:03:05,718 Daddy left very detailed instructions, 109 00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:06,000 and his funeral must rival the King of Kings himself. 110 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,454 and his funeral must rival the King of Kings himself. 111 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:11,424 Oh, a giant stone to roll in front of his tomb 112 00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:12,000 -àà la Christ the King. -Okay. 113 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:12,859 -àà la Christ the King. -Okay. 114 00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:15,194 A gold casket àà la Tut the King. 115 00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:18,000 NDAs for his affairs àà la Martin Luther the King. 116 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:18,131 NDAs for his affairs àà la Martin Luther the King. 117 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,667 Chicken àà la King. Wow. 118 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,903 Well, at least the church is sending him off in style. 119 00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:24,000 Oh, as if. The church is completely broke. 120 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,438 Oh, as if. The church is completely broke. 121 00:03:25,504 --> 00:03:27,974 Turns out living in a jet that never lands adds up. 122 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,042 Sure. 123 00:03:29,108 --> 00:03:30,000 But we’ve been doing so well. 124 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:30,342 But we’ve been doing so well. 125 00:03:30,409 --> 00:03:31,711 It shouldn’t be a problem, right, Tiff? 126 00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:34,947 I’m sorry, you expect Pfaffashions to pay for this? 127 00:03:35,014 --> 00:03:36,000 I spent a lot of time 128 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:36,049 I spent a lot of time 129 00:03:36,116 --> 00:03:37,717 getting this company ready to go public, 130 00:03:37,783 --> 00:03:40,252 and we can’t be seen spending money on a funeral like this. 131 00:03:40,319 --> 00:03:41,687 The Street is gonna go crazy. 132 00:03:41,754 --> 00:03:42,000 Blessfully, it’s not up to you. It’s up to the board. 133 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,323 Blessfully, it’s not up to you. It’s up to the board. 134 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:47,994 Tiff, me, Daddy--whose vote I now control--you, and Larry. 135 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:49,596 All those in favor? 136 00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:53,800 -Opposed? -Yeah, fucking nay. 137 00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:54,000 Ooh, it looks like nay is for horses, Keith. 138 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,503 Ooh, it looks like nay is for horses, Keith. 139 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,038 [both laughing] 140 00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:00,000 Uh, not that funny. Okay. 141 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,708 Uh, not that funny. Okay. 142 00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:03,109 -You’re right. -No. 143 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,511 We do have to laugh. 144 00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:05,578 -You have to laugh. -We have to laugh! 145 00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:06,000 [Corkie] Especially when it’s hard. 146 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:06,480 [Corkie] Especially when it’s hard. 147 00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:07,546 Why don’t we laugh 148 00:04:07,613 --> 00:04:08,881 and then not spend the cash? 149 00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:09,850 How ’bout that? 150 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:10,984 Tiff, thank you. 151 00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:12,000 Keith, fudge you. 152 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:12,686 Keith, fudge you. 153 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,154 [sobs] 154 00:04:14,220 --> 00:04:15,388 [funeral march resumes] 155 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:17,023 [Corkie sobbing] 156 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,000 What the fuck, Tiff? 157 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:18,157 What the fuck, Tiff? 158 00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:20,627 This is corporate suicide and actual murder. 159 00:04:20,693 --> 00:04:22,795 When Larry finds out about this, he’s going to kill me. 160 00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:24,000 I have tried to tell you this, Keith: 161 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:24,297 I have tried to tell you this, Keith: 162 00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:26,066 this is my company, 163 00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:28,367 and if I wanna use my money on a roast 164 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:30,000 of Allah àà la Alan King, then I will. 165 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,003 of Allah àà la Alan King, then I will. 166 00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:32,238 What the fuck is that? 167 00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:33,940 I think it’s like a Friars Club roast 168 00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,409 of the Muslim god Allah. 169 00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:36,000 I can’t believe she expects me to do all this by Saturday. 170 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,311 I can’t believe she expects me to do all this by Saturday. 171 00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:40,981 Cork, Corks, Corksie. 172 00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:42,000 Corkie! 173 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:42,915 Corkie! 174 00:04:42,982 --> 00:04:46,052 ♪♪ upbeat percussive music ♪ 175 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,000 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 176 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:48,087 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 177 00:04:50,656 --> 00:04:52,525 How you doing, Mo? 178 00:04:52,592 --> 00:04:54,000 What’s that supposed to me-- mean? 179 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:54,494 What’s that supposed to me-- mean? 180 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,828 [coughing] You see what you-- 181 00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:58,731 [coughing] Made me do, Dawn? Fuck. 182 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,000 Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. 183 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:00,834 Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. 184 00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:03,002 I didn’t wake up on any side of any bed, okay? 185 00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:05,472 I’ll have you know I was up having sex all night, so. 186 00:05:05,538 --> 00:05:06,000 Mm, well, cool. 187 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,273 Mm, well, cool. 188 00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,176 So again, how are you doing, Mo? 189 00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,945 Never better. [laughs] 190 00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:14,947 Woman I love, check. Job I love, check. 191 00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:17,350 Form of payment I receive for royalties 192 00:05:17,416 --> 00:05:18,000 for the woman I love song I love 193 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:18,551 for the woman I love song I love 194 00:05:18,618 --> 00:05:20,720 at the job I love, check. 195 00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:22,355 Whoever said a man can’t have it all? 196 00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:24,000 Uh, literally no one ever. 197 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,692 Uh, literally no one ever. 198 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:26,893 It just seems to me like you’re having 199 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,396 a little trouble keeping up with Nomi. 200 00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:30,000 What? Why would you say that? 201 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,497 What? Why would you say that? 202 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:32,833 ’Cause your dye’s running faster 203 00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:35,468 than Flo-Jo, Bootsy Collins. 204 00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:37,737 Oh, shit. 205 00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:39,539 [Mo] Okay, one joke, two icons. Pretty good there. 206 00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:40,706 Thank you. 207 00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:42,000 Don’t you worry about that, okay? 208 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:42,174 Don’t you worry about that, okay? 209 00:05:42,241 --> 00:05:43,275 And don’t worry about this. 210 00:05:43,342 --> 00:05:44,843 It’s just a little nagging injury 211 00:05:44,910 --> 00:05:46,779 that I got when I Bruce Leroyed the Leighman Brothers’ door. 212 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,000 Look, I know everybody out there thinks that I robbed 213 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:48,114 Look, I know everybody out there thinks that I robbed 214 00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:50,582 the cradle, but you are only as old as you feel. 215 00:05:50,649 --> 00:05:51,984 And I feel absolutely-- 216 00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:53,753 Hey, boss. I got all that stuff you asked for. 217 00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:54,000 Coke to stay up, vikes to stay upright, 218 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,155 Coke to stay up, vikes to stay upright, 219 00:05:56,222 --> 00:05:59,092 dick pills to stay hard, and Ex-Lax to stay soft. 220 00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:00,000 Dawn, did you know our man is constipated? 221 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,228 Dawn, did you know our man is constipated? 222 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,798 -Yes! I can see it in his eyes. -Jaundice. 223 00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:06,000 Why don’t you get the fuck out, Yasshole. 224 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:06,698 Why don’t you get the fuck out, Yasshole. 225 00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:09,336 Wow, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. 226 00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:10,803 I was having sex all night! 227 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,000 Look, Mo, there’s no shame in admitting that you and Nomi 228 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,506 Look, Mo, there’s no shame in admitting that you and Nomi 229 00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,608 are in different stages of life 230 00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:17,410 and digestive regularity. 231 00:06:17,476 --> 00:06:18,000 We’re in the exact same stage, okay? 232 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,545 We’re in the exact same stage, okay? 233 00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:21,213 That’s the honeymoon stage. 234 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,282 -Don’t worry, I’m doing great. -Okay, fine. 235 00:06:23,349 --> 00:06:24,000 Dawn. [laughs] 236 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,518 Dawn. [laughs] 237 00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:27,654 Just the person I wanted to see. 238 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,089 We’re having an engagement dinner... 239 00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:30,000 -Mm-hmm. -Saturday at 11:00. You in? 240 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,390 -Mm-hmm. -Saturday at 11:00. You in? 241 00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:34,994 Oh, for sure, but isn’t 11:00 more like an engagement brunch? 242 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,000 [laughs] 243 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:36,496 [laughs] 244 00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:39,632 11:00 p.m., Mee-maw. This one. 245 00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:41,200 I know you’re used to the early bird special 246 00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:42,000 -’cause you’re old as shit. -That’ll do. 247 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,703 -’cause you’re old as shit. -That’ll do. 248 00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:46,740 Okay. Okay. Well, love you. 249 00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:48,000 [Mo] Love you. 250 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:48,608 [Mo] Love you. 251 00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:51,477 Ah! Fuck! 252 00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:52,712 God damn it! 253 00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:54,000 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 254 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,214 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 255 00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:57,083 Brushing your chompers, huh? 256 00:06:57,149 --> 00:06:58,651 Uh-huh. 257 00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:00,000 [gruff voice] The old pearly whites. 258 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:00,620 [gruff voice] The old pearly whites. 259 00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:03,756 -[chuckles] -Nice. 260 00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:05,692 How’s the funeral planning going? 261 00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:06,000 Ugh. Corkie is a real diedzilla. 262 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,761 Ugh. Corkie is a real diedzilla. 263 00:07:08,828 --> 00:07:10,029 Oh! 264 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,000 [laughs] 265 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:12,232 [laughs] 266 00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:13,999 Tiff. 267 00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:16,469 Oh, I’m having a bear of a week myself, 268 00:07:16,535 --> 00:07:18,000 and it’s not even hump day. [groans] 269 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,138 and it’s not even hump day. [groans] 270 00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:22,075 But I guess they call me the "it boy" not the "sit boy." 271 00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:23,576 Just got back-to-backs all morning. 272 00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:24,000 And tomorrow, I have to give 273 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:24,844 And tomorrow, I have to give 274 00:07:24,910 --> 00:07:27,380 the Medal of Freedom to a police dog. 275 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,149 And then Saturday, I have 276 00:07:29,215 --> 00:07:30,000 Pastor Swafford’s funeral, and-- 277 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,283 Pastor Swafford’s funeral, and-- 278 00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:33,452 Was that a spit take or just run-of-the-mill tooth brushing? 279 00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:35,889 -That’s insane. -The police dog? I know. 280 00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:36,000 But he was the only cop 281 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,123 But he was the only cop 282 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:38,692 we could be sure wasn’t a white supremacist. 283 00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:42,000 No, Corkie will freak out at me if you show up at that funeral. 284 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:42,095 No, Corkie will freak out at me if you show up at that funeral. 285 00:07:42,161 --> 00:07:44,296 She’s already pissed that I let Keith take over the company, 286 00:07:44,363 --> 00:07:46,666 and he’s pissed that we’re paying for this thing. 287 00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:48,000 Why would Corkie be mad at me? 288 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:48,067 Why would Corkie be mad at me? 289 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,436 I shot her dad’s TV, not her dad. 290 00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:51,638 You fucked her husband to death. 291 00:07:51,704 --> 00:07:54,000 -Okay. -It’s bad. 292 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:54,039 -Okay. -It’s bad. 293 00:07:54,106 --> 00:07:56,209 But that’s exactly why I have to be there. 294 00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:58,744 His death has stirred up all of my old scandals, 295 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,000 and the RNC feels like the best way 296 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:00,580 and the RNC feels like the best way 297 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:02,014 to reassure my religious base 298 00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:04,450 is to give a very moving eulogy. 299 00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:06,000 There’s no confusion on that one. 300 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,119 There’s no confusion on that one. 301 00:08:07,186 --> 00:08:09,455 [Tiff] They want you to give the eulogy? 302 00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:10,857 I mean, that is even more insane 303 00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:12,000 than how many cops are white supremacists. 304 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:12,625 than how many cops are white supremacists. 305 00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:15,027 Not really, when you consider the American policing system 306 00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:17,163 was initially designed to protect white property owners. 307 00:08:17,229 --> 00:08:18,000 Okay, Blair. [groans] 308 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,298 Okay, Blair. [groans] 309 00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:21,401 Do you think I want to do this? 310 00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:24,000 The last time I took the stage, I took a bullet. 311 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,037 The last time I took the stage, I took a bullet. 312 00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:27,106 And that was before two people very close to me 313 00:08:27,172 --> 00:08:30,000 were killed under mysterious circumstances. 314 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:30,376 were killed under mysterious circumstances. 315 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:34,280 I’m afraid if I don’t do this, I might be next. 316 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,000 The RNC is very scary. 317 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:36,182 The RNC is very scary. 318 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:38,618 Well, then maybe it’s for the best. 319 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:41,187 Maybe it’s time to just walk away. 320 00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:46,526 -Please let me do a tight five. -No! 321 00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,000 I’ll open, I’ll close. I’ll host. 322 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:48,694 I’ll open, I’ll close. I’ll host. 323 00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:51,063 I won’t middle because you’ve gotta draw the line somewhere. 324 00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:53,632 I’m sorry, I have three days to plan a dream funeral. 325 00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:54,000 So unless you know what color coffin skirt 326 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,068 So unless you know what color coffin skirt 327 00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:56,635 goes with a gold casket then-- 328 00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:59,271 -American flag. -Thank you. Thank you. 329 00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:00,000 ♪♪ upbeat music ♪♪ 330 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:00,807 ♪♪ upbeat music ♪♪ 331 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:04,042 Well, if it isn’t the six million doll hair man. 332 00:09:04,109 --> 00:09:06,000 My plugs looks great and you know it, Congressman Fuck Face. 333 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:06,679 My plugs looks great and you know it, Congressman Fuck Face. 334 00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:08,381 You look like a Chia Pet cemetery. 335 00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:10,750 Yeah, well, you-- you look like a fuck face. 336 00:09:10,816 --> 00:09:11,984 Do you just come up with these on the spot? 337 00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:12,918 And what’s going on? I thought we had 338 00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:13,752 a nice moment the other night. 339 00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:15,288 Oh, yeah, I can’t keep track 340 00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,824 of all of these shifting dynamics. 341 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:18,000 Um, how is all of that going for you? 342 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,493 Um, how is all of that going for you? 343 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,962 Been going to Housecat a lot, you know, try to reconnect 344 00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:24,000 -with Mike and-- -[clucking] 345 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:24,063 -with Mike and-- -[clucking] 346 00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,765 Okay, I need you to convince Corkie 347 00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,334 to let me give her dad’s eulogy. 348 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,836 What? How? Why? 349 00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:30,000 Because I’ll give back the million dollars 350 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,370 Because I’ll give back the million dollars 351 00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:33,906 of company money Tiff donated to my campaign. 352 00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:36,000 Wow, am I really in the business 353 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,677 Wow, am I really in the business 354 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,078 of selling eulogies now? 355 00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:40,246 You’ve carved out quite a nice little corner 356 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:41,681 of the world for yourself, there, Keith. 357 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:42,000 Well, if the Catholic church can sell tickets to heaven, 358 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,417 Well, if the Catholic church can sell tickets to heaven, 359 00:09:44,484 --> 00:09:45,785 you got a deal. 360 00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:48,000 -Ho! -I was gonna do that. 361 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,188 -Ho! -I was gonna do that. 362 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,957 I was gonna do that. 363 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:54,000 -[Dawn] Mo! -I’m back here. 364 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:54,327 -[Dawn] Mo! -I’m back here. 365 00:09:54,393 --> 00:09:55,628 Room on the right. 366 00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:57,129 [Dawn] Whose fucking house is this? 367 00:09:57,196 --> 00:09:59,298 And what the fuck is up with that cast? 368 00:09:59,364 --> 00:10:00,000 Do you ever just be doing normal shit like reading? 369 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,000 Do you ever just be doing normal shit like reading? 370 00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:04,837 Ugh, apparently, I "aggravated my injury" 371 00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:06,000 because of my "reckless behavior," 372 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,207 because of my "reckless behavior," 373 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,474 and now I have a condition called "shin crumble" 374 00:10:09,541 --> 00:10:12,000 which is threatening my ability to have two legs "long-term" 375 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:12,811 which is threatening my ability to have two legs "long-term" 376 00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:14,780 because I treated my walking cast 377 00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:16,715 "like a joke" and my doctor’s instructions 378 00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:18,000 as if they were "in air quotes," so. 379 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:18,284 as if they were "in air quotes," so. 380 00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,152 Well, you know what? At least now, you have to rest 381 00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:21,721 ’cause there’s no hiding this shit from Nomi. 382 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,456 Oh, really? 383 00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:24,000 [clears throat] 384 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,024 [clears throat] 385 00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:27,659 Twinsies. 386 00:10:27,726 --> 00:10:29,095 -[sighs] -[groans] 387 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,000 Fine, look, maybe you were right. 388 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:30,663 Fine, look, maybe you were right. 389 00:10:30,729 --> 00:10:32,965 Maybe Nomi and I are in different stages of our life. 390 00:10:33,032 --> 00:10:34,033 Wait, is that what this is? 391 00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:36,000 Did you buy this house for her? 392 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:36,269 Did you buy this house for her? 393 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:37,671 Oh, my God, Mo, you’ve known her 394 00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:39,738 for, like, nine days. 395 00:10:39,805 --> 00:10:41,307 Well, when you know, you know. You know? 396 00:10:41,373 --> 00:10:42,000 Yeah, but does she know about this house? 397 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,175 Yeah, but does she know about this house? 398 00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:45,177 Eh--I-- 399 00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:47,045 -I wanted to surprise her. -[scoffs] 400 00:10:47,112 --> 00:10:48,000 But then I started worrying that, you know, 401 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:48,380 But then I started worrying that, you know, 402 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,416 maybe this isn’t what she wants right now. 403 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,218 I don’t know. 404 00:10:52,284 --> 00:10:53,386 It is dope. 405 00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:54,000 -[Mo] It could be, right? -Yeah. Oh, my God. 406 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,521 -[Mo] It could be, right? -Yeah. Oh, my God. 407 00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:58,258 Once you fix it up. 408 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,000 It’s crazy, this is the exact street 409 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,226 It’s crazy, this is the exact street 410 00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:03,261 that I told you I always wanted to live on. 411 00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:06,000 -Yeah, I don’t remember that. -Is that a painting of me? 412 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:06,499 -Yeah, I don’t remember that. -Is that a painting of me? 413 00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:09,468 Mm-mm. No. 414 00:11:09,535 --> 00:11:11,837 It literally says "Dawn" on it. 415 00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,607 -Yeah? -Give me a second, 416 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,509 the pain meds are... 417 00:11:16,575 --> 00:11:18,000 uh, yeah, that’s Telma Hopkins from the band Dawn, obviously. 418 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,378 uh, yeah, that’s Telma Hopkins from the band Dawn, obviously. 419 00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:22,849 Mo, I cannot believe 420 00:11:22,915 --> 00:11:24,000 how much she looks like me. 421 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:24,683 how much she looks like me. 422 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:27,786 Yeah, it’s unbelievable. Hey, me, me. 423 00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:29,321 [Dawn] Oh, yes, I’m sorry. 424 00:11:29,388 --> 00:11:30,000 Okay, look, um, 425 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:30,690 Okay, look, um, 426 00:11:30,757 --> 00:11:33,760 you just have to be up-front with her before the wedding. 427 00:11:33,826 --> 00:11:35,394 You know, you’ll reach a compromise. 428 00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:36,000 Or... 429 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,129 Or... 430 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,598 at the very least, you’ll realize it wasn’t meant to be. 431 00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:41,000 Either way, I don’t know, 432 00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,000 it’s better to know the day before 433 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:42,568 it’s better to know the day before 434 00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:44,203 than the day after. 435 00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,373 Trust me, you know, I... [sighs] 436 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,000 I wish I’d have known way sooner that-- 437 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:48,908 I wish I’d have known way sooner that-- 438 00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:50,576 Spencer was in a different world. 439 00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:51,944 You know, he does look a lot 440 00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:53,512 like an older version of Dwayne Wayne. 441 00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:54,000 Hmm? 442 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,081 Hmm? 443 00:11:55,147 --> 00:11:57,483 No, I meant a different world than where I come from. 444 00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,000 Oh, one in which you weren’t constantly cheating on him. 445 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:00,419 Oh, one in which you weren’t constantly cheating on him. 446 00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:01,687 Yeah, with you. 447 00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:03,556 -Well, still. -[scoffs] 448 00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,090 Well, are you gonna talk to her or not? 449 00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:06,000 -Yes. Thank you. -You’re welcome. 450 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:06,926 -Yes. Thank you. -You’re welcome. 451 00:12:06,992 --> 00:12:09,027 Hey, can you make me a sandwich? 452 00:12:09,094 --> 00:12:10,762 Fine. What do you want? 453 00:12:10,829 --> 00:12:12,000 You to go to the grocery store 454 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:12,264 You to go to the grocery store 455 00:12:12,331 --> 00:12:14,600 and get everything to make me a sandwich. 456 00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:17,570 Now do you see why building a rig to fly the casket 457 00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:18,000 over the church is time- and cost-prohibitive? 458 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,506 over the church is time- and cost-prohibitive? 459 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,341 I have to say, Tiff, I don’t see it. 460 00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:23,376 Okay. Really? 461 00:12:23,442 --> 00:12:24,000 A heavy casket with your father in it? 462 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:24,743 A heavy casket with your father in it? 463 00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:26,144 Just some sort of a pulley system, or... 464 00:12:26,211 --> 00:12:27,513 [Keith] What would you say 465 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,515 if I could give the pastor everything he wanted 466 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:30,000 and save your church in the process? 467 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,417 and save your church in the process? 468 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:34,086 Oh, well, I’d say, what do I have to do? 469 00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:35,354 Just let little old Keithy 470 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:36,000 take care of the funeral arrangements. 471 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,157 take care of the funeral arrangements. 472 00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:38,991 You had me at "let little old Keithy 473 00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:40,693 take care of the funeral arrangements." 474 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,000 That was literally the last thing that I said. 475 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,262 That was literally the last thing that I said. 476 00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:45,230 Bye. Bye, Corkie. It’s been real. 477 00:12:45,297 --> 00:12:46,031 Oh, free! 478 00:12:46,098 --> 00:12:47,399 She’s really running. 479 00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:48,000 She kinda does that in stressful situations. 480 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,135 She kinda does that in stressful situations. 481 00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:51,002 Okay. Let’s take a look here, 482 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:53,573 uh, at your binder. 483 00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:54,000 All right, so food, obviously, a big thing. 484 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,508 All right, so food, obviously, a big thing. 485 00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,678 -Do we wanna do food? -Absolutely. 486 00:12:58,744 --> 00:13:00,000 I think Daddy said he’d like 487 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:00,279 I think Daddy said he’d like 488 00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:03,716 to start off with filet mignon for apps. 489 00:13:03,782 --> 00:13:05,217 -For apps? -Yes. 490 00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:06,000 We have, uh, what, 35,000 people in attendance? 491 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,453 We have, uh, what, 35,000 people in attendance? 492 00:13:07,519 --> 00:13:10,989 That’s a rough estimate. Anywhere between 35 and 40. 493 00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:12,000 -Thousand. -Thousand. 494 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:12,691 -Thousand. -Thousand. 495 00:13:12,758 --> 00:13:15,795 Okay, uh... 496 00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:17,063 You ever have a Steak-umm? 497 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,000 ♪♪ upbeat music ♪♪ 498 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,099 ♪♪ upbeat music ♪♪ 499 00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:21,267 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 500 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:22,501 Ah. 501 00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:28,475 Nine o’clock? 502 00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:32,511 Ahh! 503 00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:33,946 [knock at door] 504 00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:36,000 [knocking continues] 505 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:36,883 [knocking continues] 506 00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:38,984 What time is it? 507 00:13:40,619 --> 00:13:42,000 [Dawn] Uh, what the fuck? 508 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,655 [Dawn] Uh, what the fuck? 509 00:13:43,722 --> 00:13:46,058 Ma’am. 510 00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:48,000 You didn’t tell Nomi the truth, did you? 511 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:48,228 You didn’t tell Nomi the truth, did you? 512 00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:49,629 No, I didn’t tell her. 513 00:13:49,695 --> 00:13:51,997 I was going to, but instead, I sawed off my cast, 514 00:13:52,064 --> 00:13:54,000 and now I have something called, uh, powder foot. 515 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,168 and now I have something called, uh, powder foot. 516 00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:57,202 What the fuck is wrong with you, Mo? 517 00:13:57,269 --> 00:13:58,938 -Huh? -I love her, okay? 518 00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:00,000 I don’t wanna lose her. 519 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:00,506 I don’t wanna lose her. 520 00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:03,175 I know my old ass has no business being with her. 521 00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:05,978 Come on, you said you wanted to be friends, so prove it. 522 00:14:06,044 --> 00:14:07,913 I cannot show up at my own engagement party 523 00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,281 in a fucking wheelchair. 524 00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,183 [scoffs] 525 00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:12,000 Well, how the fuck are we supposed to hide that thing? 526 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,853 Well, how the fuck are we supposed to hide that thing? 527 00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:15,588 Whee! [laughs] 528 00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:17,123 Hey, hey, hey. 529 00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:18,000 Oh, my God. Dawn, what happened? 530 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:18,690 Oh, my God. Dawn, what happened? 531 00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:21,794 Ah, Father Time finally caught up with the old girl. 532 00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:23,495 -Both hips, blammo. -What? 533 00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:24,000 She’s basically being held together by pants. 534 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,332 She’s basically being held together by pants. 535 00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:28,500 Dawn, but I saw you this morning. 536 00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:30,000 It’s insane, right? Yeah, emergency surgery. 537 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,137 It’s insane, right? Yeah, emergency surgery. 538 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,206 Thank God, caught it just in time. 539 00:14:33,272 --> 00:14:34,840 -Wow. -Fuck, should you be at dinner 540 00:14:34,907 --> 00:14:36,000 if you just had emergency surgery? 541 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,142 if you just had emergency surgery? 542 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,011 You definitely shouldn’t be here. 543 00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:39,178 [Mo] She’s fine. 544 00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:40,213 Okay, we’re gonna go over here now, Dawny. 545 00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:41,680 -I can hear. -Right. 546 00:14:41,747 --> 00:14:42,000 You’re just old, you’re not deaf. 547 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:42,749 You’re just old, you’re not deaf. 548 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,450 Excuse me, guys. Beep, beep. 549 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:45,984 [Keith] Hey, fuck face. 550 00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:47,719 I already planned one funeral for today. 551 00:14:47,786 --> 00:14:48,000 Don’t make me plan another. 552 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,255 Don’t make me plan another. 553 00:14:49,321 --> 00:14:51,690 I ordered these Bibles àà la King James, 554 00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:54,000 not these generic shits that you sent. 555 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:54,492 not these generic shits that you sent. 556 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,196 [Corkie] Keith, what did you do? 557 00:14:57,263 --> 00:15:00,000 Exactly what the reverend would have wanted. 558 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:00,299 Exactly what the reverend would have wanted. 559 00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:03,702 Why pay for a funeral when we can have 560 00:15:03,769 --> 00:15:06,000 the congregation pay for a resurrection? 561 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,240 the congregation pay for a resurrection? 562 00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:09,608 You sold my daddy’s funeral? 563 00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:11,010 Everything that’s not nailed down. 564 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,000 That’s why we still have Jesus’ hands and feet. 565 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:12,878 That’s why we still have Jesus’ hands and feet. 566 00:15:12,945 --> 00:15:16,415 Keith, my father would... 567 00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:17,150 love this. 568 00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:18,000 [laughs] Right? 569 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,251 [laughs] Right? 570 00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:21,821 But he might not love this. 571 00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:24,000 What in the Hellmann’s mayonnaise is he doing here? 572 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:24,324 What in the Hellmann’s mayonnaise is he doing here? 573 00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:25,691 Okay, he gave us a million bucks, 574 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,660 and all we had to give him was the, uh, eulogy. 575 00:15:28,727 --> 00:15:30,000 Corkie, thank you so much 576 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,430 Corkie, thank you so much 577 00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:34,667 for giving me this honor to honor your father. 578 00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:36,000 There’s not a snowball’s chance in Detroit 579 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,670 There’s not a snowball’s chance in Detroit 580 00:15:37,736 --> 00:15:40,138 that that murderer is giving my dad’s eulogy. 581 00:15:40,205 --> 00:15:42,000 Do snowballs fare pretty well in Detroit? 582 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:42,108 Do snowballs fare pretty well in Detroit? 583 00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:43,508 I think she meant hell. 584 00:15:43,575 --> 00:15:44,577 That feels racist. 585 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:48,000 Corkie, I didn’t kill your father. 586 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:48,414 Corkie, I didn’t kill your father. 587 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:50,448 [whispering] I meant Roger. 588 00:15:50,515 --> 00:15:52,016 [whispering] She’s kinda got you there. 589 00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:53,919 You killed Roger. 590 00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:54,000 No, I didn’t. 591 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,255 No, I didn’t. 592 00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:56,889 Keith, I thought you said you worked it out. 593 00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,759 I said I would work it out, and I still could. 594 00:15:59,825 --> 00:16:00,000 Blair, you’ve caused me so much pain. 595 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,060 Blair, you’ve caused me so much pain. 596 00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:05,430 I mean, couldn’t you at least spare me today of all days? 597 00:16:05,497 --> 00:16:06,000 -[Corkie] Funeral’s off! -[person] Okay. 598 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,633 -[Corkie] Funeral’s off! -[person] Okay. 599 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,902 [Corkie] No one’s getting buried today! 600 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,000 Well, that’s sort of the blessing and the curse 601 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:12,404 Well, that’s sort of the blessing and the curse 602 00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:13,973 of being born with double-jointed hips. 603 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,207 Mm. 604 00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:16,775 It made me quite the advanced lover... 605 00:16:16,842 --> 00:16:17,943 [laughs] 606 00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:20,179 But eventually caught up to me. 607 00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:21,714 No worries, though. 608 00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:24,000 Doc said I’d be down to pound in six to eight weeks max. 609 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,485 Doc said I’d be down to pound in six to eight weeks max. 610 00:16:26,551 --> 00:16:28,420 [Yassir X] It don’t make sense, though. 611 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:30,000 Is your doctor a porn star? They said down to pound? 612 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,757 Is your doctor a porn star? They said down to pound? 613 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,827 Or it makes perfect sense because that’s literally 614 00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:36,000 what happens to everybody when they get old. 615 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,497 what happens to everybody when they get old. 616 00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,965 Oh, please, enough about me. 617 00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,801 Nomi, girl, did I hear 618 00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:42,000 they are playing your song at the club now? 619 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,635 they are playing your song at the club now? 620 00:16:43,702 --> 00:16:45,203 [Mo] Yes, they’re playing her song at the club. 621 00:16:45,271 --> 00:16:47,106 I know. [laughs] 622 00:16:47,172 --> 00:16:48,000 I still can’t believe it. 623 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:48,674 I still can’t believe it. 624 00:16:48,740 --> 00:16:49,808 Oh, you know what? 625 00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,344 It feels to me like you are about to-- 626 00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:54,000 what’s the opposite of settle down? 627 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:54,046 what’s the opposite of settle down? 628 00:16:54,112 --> 00:16:55,948 -Take off? -Yes, that’s it. 629 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,316 I hope so. 630 00:16:57,382 --> 00:16:58,784 In my head, I’ve already got the tour scheduled. 631 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,000 I wanna hit the road, see the world. 632 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,587 I wanna hit the road, see the world. 633 00:17:01,653 --> 00:17:03,889 -Oh, the world is huge. -[Mo] Hey, how about a toast? 634 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,657 -[Dawn] Yes. -Yes. 635 00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:06,000 [clears throat] 636 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:06,826 [clears throat] 637 00:17:06,892 --> 00:17:08,860 To the two most important girls in my life. 638 00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:10,296 Mm. 639 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,000 My old, old, old, old, old, old, 640 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,533 My old, old, old, old, old, old, 641 00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:16,101 dusty, dusty, rocking chair old friend, Dawn. 642 00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:17,235 -[Dawn] Okay. -[Mo laughs] 643 00:17:17,302 --> 00:17:18,000 Who risked her health to be here 644 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:18,937 Who risked her health to be here 645 00:17:19,004 --> 00:17:20,305 fresh out of a hospital bed. 646 00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:22,641 Ah, you know what? This is an important toast. 647 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,000 Please, stand up so everyone can hear you. 648 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:24,710 Please, stand up so everyone can hear you. 649 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,278 Pretty sure everybody can hear me, Dawn. 650 00:17:26,344 --> 00:17:28,213 [Yassir X] What? 651 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,000 -[Mo] Really? -See? 652 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:30,515 -[Mo] Really? -See? 653 00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:31,984 -Well, I’ll stand up. -[Dawn] Okay. 654 00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:34,252 It’s no big deal to stand up. 655 00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:36,000 Who’s worried about standing up? 656 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:36,221 Who’s worried about standing up? 657 00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:37,989 So I’m standing up. And there it is. 658 00:17:38,056 --> 00:17:40,292 I did it. I stood up. [laughs] 659 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,000 Maybe you should come and stand 660 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:42,127 Maybe you should come and stand 661 00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:44,597 between your two favorite girls, right? 662 00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:45,931 -[Nomi] Aw. -[Yassir X] That’s a good spot. 663 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,000 Okay, right there. Here I come. 664 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:48,334 Okay, right there. Here I come. 665 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,435 -I will put this here. -[Dawn] Yes. 666 00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:52,170 And I’ll come right over there. 667 00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:53,539 -[Dawn] Sure. -[Nomi] Yeah, come on. 668 00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:54,000 I’m gonna--I’m gonna come with some style. 669 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,140 I’m gonna--I’m gonna come with some style. 670 00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:56,675 [laughter] 671 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:57,809 A little flair. 672 00:17:57,876 --> 00:17:59,979 Ooh, whoa. All right. 673 00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:02,881 Ooh. La-da! [laughs] 674 00:18:02,948 --> 00:18:05,984 And just one more space, and then I’m here. 675 00:18:06,051 --> 00:18:07,720 Easy. Okay. 676 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,922 [clears throat] Where was I? 677 00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:12,000 Nomi, to you, 678 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:12,791 Nomi, to you, 679 00:18:12,858 --> 00:18:15,261 the love of my life. 680 00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:18,000 You know, as an orphan, I never really knew what home meant. 681 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,398 You know, as an orphan, I never really knew what home meant. 682 00:18:19,465 --> 00:18:21,900 Then I met you. 683 00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:22,934 That’s a thing? 684 00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:24,000 And yeah, the road? Sure, it’s fun, 685 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,537 And yeah, the road? Sure, it’s fun, 686 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:27,740 but home is where the heart is, 687 00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:29,842 and that’s why the greatest tour 688 00:18:29,908 --> 00:18:30,000 is the tour of the heart... 689 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,944 is the tour of the heart... 690 00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:33,446 Mm. 691 00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:36,000 At home where your heart is. 692 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:36,115 At home where your heart is. 693 00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:37,750 -Okay. -Uh... 694 00:18:37,816 --> 00:18:38,818 Love you, babe. 695 00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:41,419 -Mm, love you too, Mo. -Yeah, to Nomi. 696 00:18:41,487 --> 00:18:42,000 -Now, let’s-- -Eat. Oh, my God. 697 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,123 -Now, let’s-- -Eat. Oh, my God. 698 00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:45,491 We’re so in the same stage of life, 699 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,259 we’re finishing each other’s sentences. 700 00:18:47,325 --> 00:18:48,000 -Uh-huh. I was gonna say dance. -[Mo] Oh! 701 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:48,994 -Uh-huh. I was gonna say dance. -[Mo] Oh! 702 00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:52,498 Great idea. You all better get out there. 703 00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:53,699 That’s what you do. 704 00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:54,000 [Nomi] Come on, boo. Hmm? 705 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,333 [Nomi] Come on, boo. Hmm? 706 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:56,936 Choo. Coo-coo-coo-coo. 707 00:18:57,002 --> 00:18:58,103 Aren’t you coming? 708 00:18:58,169 --> 00:18:59,804 We’re dancing-- well, I would, but you know, 709 00:18:59,871 --> 00:19:00,000 Dawn and her bitch-ass hips. I don’t wanna leave her. 710 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,573 Dawn and her bitch-ass hips. I don’t wanna leave her. 711 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,409 No, no, no, no, no, I’m good. Actually, go, go, go dance 712 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,544 Yeah, that’s what somebody says when they’re not good 713 00:19:05,611 --> 00:19:06,000 and they want you to stay, stay, stay. 714 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,346 and they want you to stay, stay, stay. 715 00:19:07,412 --> 00:19:08,880 I mean, come on, look at her. 716 00:19:08,947 --> 00:19:11,083 She’s single at an engagement party in a wheelchair. 717 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,000 Well, why don’t we just take her with us then? 718 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:12,818 Well, why don’t we just take her with us then? 719 00:19:12,884 --> 00:19:15,120 Okay, okay, I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I’ll do it. 720 00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:16,589 I mean, she’s just really heavy, 721 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,000 and I don’t want you to pull a muscle doing anything. 722 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:18,390 and I don’t want you to pull a muscle doing anything. 723 00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:20,325 Okay. Yeah, so we’ll be out here. 724 00:19:20,392 --> 00:19:21,828 And I will be there. 725 00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:24,000 I swear to God, I am gonna backflip out of this chair 726 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:24,129 I swear to God, I am gonna backflip out of this chair 727 00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:26,298 and go fuck Johnny Gill right there on the dance floor. 728 00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:28,333 -Who cares? -People who say that. 729 00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:30,000 [Blair] Can I have a moment? Please? 730 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,037 [Blair] Can I have a moment? Please? 731 00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,572 [Corkie] Haven’t you done enough? 732 00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:36,000 I’m leaving. I just wanted to apologize. 733 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,176 I’m leaving. I just wanted to apologize. 734 00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:38,877 For real. 735 00:19:38,944 --> 00:19:42,000 I know you hate me, and I know you blame me for everything. 736 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,214 I know you hate me, and I know you blame me for everything. 737 00:19:43,281 --> 00:19:46,518 But I loved Roger. 738 00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:48,000 I know that’s hard to hear, but it’s true. 739 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,856 I know that’s hard to hear, but it’s true. 740 00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:54,000 And I never would have put him in danger like that. 741 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:54,159 And I never would have put him in danger like that. 742 00:19:54,226 --> 00:19:55,394 I didn’t release our tape. 743 00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:59,198 I just wanted... you to know that-- 744 00:19:59,264 --> 00:20:00,000 I know. 745 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:00,932 I know. 746 00:20:00,999 --> 00:20:02,701 ♪♪ solemn music ♪♪ 747 00:20:02,767 --> 00:20:04,336 He did. 748 00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:06,000 Come on, Blair. 749 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,239 Come on, Blair. 750 00:20:07,305 --> 00:20:08,306 I mean, if anybody knew how evil 751 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:10,542 my father was, it’s me. 752 00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:12,000 And I know you didn’t kill Roger. 753 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,011 And I know you didn’t kill Roger. 754 00:20:13,078 --> 00:20:14,980 I just lost everything, 755 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,449 and I thought I needed a scapegoat. 756 00:20:17,516 --> 00:20:18,000 But it turns out keeping an emotional support goat 757 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,085 But it turns out keeping an emotional support goat 758 00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:22,787 on my fire escape was really not a good idea. 759 00:20:22,854 --> 00:20:24,000 It sounds messy. 760 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,290 It sounds messy. 761 00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:28,294 Then I decided to blame you. 762 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:29,695 ’Cause facing the real person 763 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:30,000 was too painful to accept. 764 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,699 was too painful to accept. 765 00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:36,000 For what it’s worth, my dad sucked too. 766 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:36,634 For what it’s worth, my dad sucked too. 767 00:20:36,701 --> 00:20:38,069 He did? 768 00:20:38,136 --> 00:20:39,438 Yeah. 769 00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:42,000 I’m sorry for coming. 770 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,442 I’m sorry for coming. 771 00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:48,000 And I’m sorry for your loss...es. 772 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:48,214 And I’m sorry for your loss...es. 773 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:49,414 Wait. 774 00:20:51,216 --> 00:20:54,000 I want you to give the eulogy. 775 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:54,085 I want you to give the eulogy. 776 00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:55,520 Really? 777 00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:59,758 If...you tell the truth about my dad. 778 00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:00,000 The world needs to know that he was a monster. 779 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:03,061 The world needs to know that he was a monster. 780 00:21:03,128 --> 00:21:06,000 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 781 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,066 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 782 00:21:09,435 --> 00:21:10,802 Thank you. 783 00:21:13,505 --> 00:21:15,608 -She buy it? -Yeah. 784 00:21:15,674 --> 00:21:17,509 ♪♪ I make it rain at the party ♪♪ 785 00:21:17,576 --> 00:21:18,000 ♪♪ OG, everybody here know me 786 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,912 ♪♪ OG, everybody here know me 787 00:21:19,979 --> 00:21:21,947 ♪♪ Everybody here know me ♪ 788 00:21:22,013 --> 00:21:24,000 ♪♪ I’m the OG, everybody here know me ♪♪ 789 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:24,816 ♪♪ I’m the OG, everybody here know me ♪♪ 790 00:21:24,883 --> 00:21:26,818 ♪♪ I make it rain at the party ♪♪ 791 00:21:26,885 --> 00:21:29,922 ♪♪ OG, everybody here know me 792 00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:30,000 ♪♪ Everybody here know me ♪ 793 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,658 ♪♪ Everybody here know me ♪ 794 00:21:33,591 --> 00:21:34,559 ♪♪ soft piano music ♪♪ 795 00:21:34,626 --> 00:21:35,527 -[sighs] -Oh. 796 00:21:35,594 --> 00:21:36,000 -Huh? -Come on. 797 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:36,996 -Huh? -Come on. 798 00:21:37,062 --> 00:21:39,998 Heh, oh, okay, well, I mean, probably the appetizers 799 00:21:40,065 --> 00:21:41,099 are probably getting a little cold, right? 800 00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:42,000 Let’s take it to the table. 801 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:42,167 Let’s take it to the table. 802 00:21:42,234 --> 00:21:43,736 Come on, I love this song. 803 00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:45,537 Maybe Dawn could just sit this one out. 804 00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:47,439 -Oh, yes, gladly. -[Mo] Oh, oh, no, no, no. 805 00:21:47,506 --> 00:21:48,000 Ah! [laughs] 806 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:48,974 Ah! [laughs] 807 00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:51,043 She told me that she’s gotta go to the bathroom, so yeah. 808 00:21:51,110 --> 00:21:52,678 Ah, sounds like a job for Yassir. 809 00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:54,000 Yassir, back the fuck up. I got it. 810 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:54,313 Yassir, back the fuck up. I got it. 811 00:21:54,380 --> 00:21:56,115 Okay. Mo, what the fuck? 812 00:21:56,181 --> 00:21:58,817 You’ve been acting weird as hell all night. 813 00:22:00,018 --> 00:22:02,588 Okay, shit, I’m just gonna tell you the truth. 814 00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:04,656 -Oh, thank God. Finally. -Great. Thank you. 815 00:22:04,723 --> 00:22:05,823 When Dawn spins around like this, 816 00:22:05,890 --> 00:22:06,000 she really has to piss, and when she goes 817 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,525 she really has to piss, and when she goes 818 00:22:07,592 --> 00:22:08,727 she starts pissing everywhere, 819 00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:09,929 and I don’t want it to get all over us. 820 00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:11,096 -It’s not your fault. -[Nomi] All right, okay. 821 00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,000 No, no, no, no. 822 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:12,565 No, no, no, no. 823 00:22:12,631 --> 00:22:14,032 All right, you know what? I’m out. 824 00:22:14,099 --> 00:22:16,334 You guys can just piss all over each other all night 825 00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:17,436 for all I care. 826 00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:18,000 Happy engagement party. 827 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,137 Happy engagement party. 828 00:22:19,204 --> 00:22:20,339 Okay, Nomi, come on, Nomi. 829 00:22:20,405 --> 00:22:21,806 -P-p-p-pissing’s not my thing! -Nomi. 830 00:22:21,873 --> 00:22:23,975 I promise I’m not into that. 831 00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:27,412 Hey, I-I know this is terrible timing, 832 00:22:27,479 --> 00:22:29,448 but could you wheel me to the bathroom? 833 00:22:29,514 --> 00:22:30,000 ’Cause I actually do have to piss. 834 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:30,816 ’Cause I actually do have to piss. 835 00:22:30,883 --> 00:22:33,485 And we’re back from commercial in five. 836 00:22:33,552 --> 00:22:35,754 Grab those tissues, we’re crying. 837 00:22:35,821 --> 00:22:36,000 Four. We’re grabbing our wallets. 838 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:37,790 Four. We’re grabbing our wallets. 839 00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:39,925 Three. Remember to give us those donations. 840 00:22:39,992 --> 00:22:42,000 Two. And cue the medium wash on stage. 841 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,195 Two. And cue the medium wash on stage. 842 00:22:43,261 --> 00:22:44,963 I love it, Ron, looking good. 843 00:22:45,030 --> 00:22:46,064 We’re about to bring out the body. 844 00:22:46,131 --> 00:22:48,000 Good luck, everybody. Here we go. 845 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:48,200 Good luck, everybody. Here we go. 846 00:22:48,266 --> 00:22:51,837 I don’t know how you did it, but, uh, thank you. 847 00:22:51,904 --> 00:22:53,605 I mean, I thought this thing was gonna go to hell. 848 00:22:53,672 --> 00:22:54,000 Well, now only Pastor Swafford is. 849 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,507 Well, now only Pastor Swafford is. 850 00:22:55,573 --> 00:22:57,476 Okay, cue the models. Cue the models. 851 00:22:57,543 --> 00:22:59,278 Check this shit out. 852 00:22:59,344 --> 00:23:00,000 Let’s look sexy, sexy, sexy. 853 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,814 Let’s look sexy, sexy, sexy. 854 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,715 And let’s show off that denim. 855 00:23:03,782 --> 00:23:06,000 I’m sorry, are the pallbearers modeling Pfaffashions? 856 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:06,985 I’m sorry, are the pallbearers modeling Pfaffashions? 857 00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:09,855 Yeah, it’s genius, right? Free advertising. 858 00:23:09,922 --> 00:23:11,490 This thing’s gonna get a 22 share. 859 00:23:11,556 --> 00:23:12,000 Watch, our sales are gonna skyrocket. 860 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,458 Watch, our sales are gonna skyrocket. 861 00:23:13,525 --> 00:23:15,694 And show me that tushy. All right. 862 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,362 [Blair] You really are a piece of shit, Shankar. 863 00:23:17,429 --> 00:23:18,000 Well, this POS is about to SOS your wife’s IPO. 864 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,365 Well, this POS is about to SOS your wife’s IPO. 865 00:23:20,432 --> 00:23:21,767 So it’s time for you to go. 866 00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:24,000 Remember, plug the donations. We’re close to our goal. 867 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:24,003 Remember, plug the donations. We’re close to our goal. 868 00:23:24,069 --> 00:23:25,537 And if you can slip in Pfaffashions, 869 00:23:25,604 --> 00:23:26,538 that would be great, okay? 870 00:23:26,604 --> 00:23:28,640 Into the Lord’s Prayer? 871 00:23:28,707 --> 00:23:30,000 You can do it. Break a leg. Go, go. 872 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,176 You can do it. Break a leg. Go, go. 873 00:23:31,243 --> 00:23:32,745 All right. 874 00:23:32,811 --> 00:23:35,247 Great, give me voice of God in three, two. 875 00:23:35,314 --> 00:23:36,000 And now, to delivery the pastor’s eulogy, 876 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,517 And now, to delivery the pastor’s eulogy, 877 00:23:38,583 --> 00:23:40,252 he’s your congressman, 878 00:23:40,319 --> 00:23:42,000 Blair... 879 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:42,421 Blair... 880 00:23:42,487 --> 00:23:44,356 Pfaff! 881 00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:47,926 [cheers and applause] 882 00:23:53,799 --> 00:23:54,000 [high-pitched ringing] 883 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,935 [high-pitched ringing] 884 00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:04,309 Pick up your cues. Pick up your cues. 885 00:24:04,376 --> 00:24:06,000 Blair Pfaff. 886 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,178 Blair Pfaff. 887 00:24:07,245 --> 00:24:10,148 [cheers and applause] 888 00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:17,155 Ladies and gentlemen... 889 00:24:17,222 --> 00:24:18,000 Camera one. 890 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:18,357 Camera one. 891 00:24:18,423 --> 00:24:21,026 We gather here to bury a man. 892 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:24,000 Some would say a great man, 893 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,530 Some would say a great man, 894 00:24:25,597 --> 00:24:27,299 but the truth is... 895 00:24:30,435 --> 00:24:32,037 ...the truth is... 896 00:24:33,705 --> 00:24:36,000 ...the truth is... 897 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:36,374 ...the truth is... 898 00:24:36,441 --> 00:24:39,144 Pastor Swafford was... 899 00:24:39,210 --> 00:24:41,146 so much more than that. 900 00:24:44,283 --> 00:24:48,000 He was a direct messenger of the Lord. 901 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:48,788 He was a direct messenger of the Lord. 902 00:24:48,854 --> 00:24:50,956 [cheers and applause] 903 00:24:51,023 --> 00:24:54,000 I feel Pastor Swafford rising up 904 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:54,527 I feel Pastor Swafford rising up 905 00:24:54,593 --> 00:24:58,530 just like our family values revolution is rising up 906 00:24:58,597 --> 00:25:00,000 against the Communist, Marxist, 907 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:00,766 against the Communist, Marxist, 908 00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:04,136 socialist, radical left. 909 00:25:04,836 --> 00:25:06,000 [Mo] Go ahead. Say, "I told you so." 910 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:06,771 [Mo] Go ahead. Say, "I told you so." 911 00:25:06,838 --> 00:25:08,172 [Dawn] No. No. 912 00:25:08,239 --> 00:25:10,708 Look, she just needs to cool down tonight. 913 00:25:10,775 --> 00:25:11,909 Tomorrow, you’ll come clean, 914 00:25:11,976 --> 00:25:12,000 and I’m sure she will understand. 915 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,380 and I’m sure she will understand. 916 00:25:15,447 --> 00:25:17,616 I hope you’re right. 917 00:25:17,682 --> 00:25:18,000 Ah, okay. 918 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,584 Ah, okay. 919 00:25:19,651 --> 00:25:21,520 Thanks, Dawny. 920 00:25:21,586 --> 00:25:23,888 -Again. -[both laugh] 921 00:25:23,955 --> 00:25:24,000 You’re welcome, again. [chuckles] 922 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,759 You’re welcome, again. [chuckles] 923 00:25:27,826 --> 00:25:30,000 ♪♪ soft choral music ♪♪ 924 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:30,662 ♪♪ soft choral music ♪♪ 925 00:25:30,729 --> 00:25:35,867 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 926 00:25:37,736 --> 00:25:39,238 What the fuck? 927 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:42,000 I can walk! 928 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,208 I can walk! 929 00:25:43,275 --> 00:25:45,910 Oh, my God, it’s a miracle! I can walk! 930 00:25:45,977 --> 00:25:48,000 Oh, Hallelujah! Praise Jesus! 931 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,114 Oh, Hallelujah! Praise Jesus! 932 00:25:49,180 --> 00:25:51,049 [Blair] Praise Jesus indeed. 933 00:25:51,116 --> 00:25:52,718 Can you help us get over that heavenly hump? 934 00:25:52,785 --> 00:25:54,000 Can you spare it? 935 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:54,186 Can you spare it? 936 00:25:54,252 --> 00:25:57,989 Can you spare us from a life without our leader? 937 00:25:58,056 --> 00:26:00,000 Raise your hand if you can take us to the promised land! 938 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,127 Raise your hand if you can take us to the promised land! 939 00:26:02,193 --> 00:26:04,529 Yes, yes, yes, oh! 940 00:26:04,596 --> 00:26:06,000 It’s a miracle! It’s a miracle! 941 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,766 It’s a miracle! It’s a miracle! 942 00:26:07,832 --> 00:26:10,401 Take it away, Pastor Swafford! 943 00:26:10,469 --> 00:26:12,000 Cue the video. 944 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:12,671 Cue the video. 945 00:26:12,737 --> 00:26:15,673 [Newell] Hello. It. Is. Me. 946 00:26:15,740 --> 00:26:18,000 -Newell Swafford, pastor. -Yes! 947 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:18,109 -Newell Swafford, pastor. -Yes! 948 00:26:18,176 --> 00:26:20,512 I love! All of you. 949 00:26:20,578 --> 00:26:24,000 Thank you. Fore! Resurrecting me. 950 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:24,549 Thank you. Fore! Resurrecting me. 951 00:26:24,616 --> 00:26:28,720 Like Jesus, I am going home. 952 00:26:28,786 --> 00:26:30,000 See you soon. 953 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:30,688 See you soon. 954 00:26:30,755 --> 00:26:34,192 God was nice. Good bye. 955 00:26:34,259 --> 00:26:35,661 Yes! 956 00:26:35,727 --> 00:26:36,000 [cheers and applause] 957 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,662 [cheers and applause] 958 00:26:37,729 --> 00:26:39,531 You all deserve some thanks. 959 00:26:39,598 --> 00:26:41,199 Get on up here. Get on up here. 960 00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:42,000 We are not worthy! We are not worthy! 961 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,602 We are not worthy! We are not worthy! 962 00:26:44,669 --> 00:26:46,404 Whoo! 963 00:26:47,706 --> 00:26:48,000 [screams and gasps] 964 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,107 [screams and gasps] 965 00:26:52,811 --> 00:26:54,000 Uh, no refunds. 966 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:54,346 Uh, no refunds. 967 00:26:54,412 --> 00:26:55,280 Thanks for coming. 968 00:26:55,347 --> 00:26:56,281 Run! 969 00:27:01,619 --> 00:27:03,588 Fuck. Nomi. 970 00:27:03,655 --> 00:27:05,323 [Nomi] What you reading? 971 00:27:05,390 --> 00:27:06,000 Uh. It’s a jerk mag. 972 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,759 Uh. It’s a jerk mag. 973 00:27:07,825 --> 00:27:09,294 I was gonna go have a little Mo party, 974 00:27:09,361 --> 00:27:11,897 but now I’m too sad. 975 00:27:11,963 --> 00:27:12,000 Hey, hey, stop. Stop. 976 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:15,166 Hey, hey, stop. Stop. 977 00:27:15,233 --> 00:27:16,701 [Mo sighs] 978 00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:18,000 ♪♪ solemn music ♪♪ 979 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,671 ♪♪ solemn music ♪♪ 980 00:27:19,738 --> 00:27:21,673 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 981 00:27:21,739 --> 00:27:23,041 I don’t want this. 982 00:27:25,744 --> 00:27:27,312 Okay, I understand. 983 00:27:27,379 --> 00:27:30,000 If you can’t be real with me about a fucked up leg, 984 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:30,482 If you can’t be real with me about a fucked up leg, 985 00:27:30,549 --> 00:27:33,285 what else am I gonna have to worry about? 986 00:27:33,351 --> 00:27:36,000 So that’s why I think 987 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:36,888 So that’s why I think 988 00:27:36,955 --> 00:27:40,191 if you ever hide some shit from me again, 989 00:27:40,258 --> 00:27:42,000 it’s over. 990 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:42,227 it’s over. 991 00:27:42,294 --> 00:27:44,163 Don’t you think I don’t know you’re older than me? 992 00:27:44,229 --> 00:27:46,264 You use talcum powder as deodorant. 993 00:27:46,331 --> 00:27:47,466 It’s healthier. 994 00:27:47,532 --> 00:27:48,000 And your hair, it was salt-and-pepper yesterday, 995 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,734 And your hair, it was salt-and-pepper yesterday, 996 00:27:49,801 --> 00:27:51,469 and now it’s just pepper. 997 00:27:51,536 --> 00:27:52,470 I was going for something. 998 00:27:52,537 --> 00:27:54,000 Well, we’ll figure it out. 999 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:54,707 Well, we’ll figure it out. 1000 00:27:54,773 --> 00:27:56,808 ’Cause I love your old ass. 1001 00:27:58,643 --> 00:28:00,000 I love you too, Nomi. 1002 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:00,445 I love you too, Nomi. 1003 00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:04,816 ♪♪♪♪♪♪ 1004 00:28:04,883 --> 00:28:06,000 -Come here. -Okay. 1005 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,253 -Come here. -Okay. 1006 00:28:08,319 --> 00:28:09,754 How’d you find me? 1007 00:28:09,821 --> 00:28:11,356 Dawn, she told me everything. 1008 00:28:11,423 --> 00:28:12,000 Oh. 1009 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:12,824 Oh. 1010 00:28:12,890 --> 00:28:14,559 She’s a really good friend to you, Mo. 1011 00:28:14,626 --> 00:28:17,596 Yeah, I guess she is. 1012 00:28:17,663 --> 00:28:18,000 You like your new house? 1013 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:19,631 You like your new house? 1014 00:28:19,698 --> 00:28:20,999 -Yeah, I love it. -Oh, good. 1015 00:28:21,065 --> 00:28:22,867 Yeah. [chuckles] 1016 00:28:22,934 --> 00:28:24,000 Ooh, what’s that painting? 1017 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:24,469 Ooh, what’s that painting? 1018 00:28:24,535 --> 00:28:27,338 Oh, my God. Does nobody know the band Dawn? 1019 00:28:28,807 --> 00:28:30,000 I’ll get rid of it. 1020 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:30,074 I’ll get rid of it. 1021 00:28:30,141 --> 00:28:33,011 ♪♪ upbeat synth music ♪♪ 70022

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