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1
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,504
WOMAN 1: Good night.
WOMAN 2: Good night.
2
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:02,770
(GEORGE COUGHING)
3
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:43,268
(MARTHA LAUGHING)
4
00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:46,396
Shh, Martha, it's 2:00 in the morning.
5
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:47,940
Oh, George.
6
00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:50,025
Well, it is.
7
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:53,862
What a cluck. What a cluck you are.
8
00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:55,697
GEORGE: It's late, you know. It's late.
9
00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:57,533
MARTHA: No kidding.
10
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,578
(DOOR CLOSES)
11
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,671
(SIGHS) Shit!
12
00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:19,967
What a dump.
13
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:25,055
Hey, what's that from? "What a dump!"
14
00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:26,723
How would I know?
15
00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:29,726
Oh, come on, what's it from? You know.
16
00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:31,520
Martha.
17
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:35,107
MARTHA: What's it from, for Christ sake?
18
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,567
GEORGE: What's what from?
19
00:04:37,735 --> 00:04:40,696
MARTHA: I just told you. I just did it.
20
00:04:41,322 --> 00:04:43,156
"What a dump!"
21
00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:45,158
Huh?
22
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:48,537
- What's that from?
- I haven't the faintest idea.
23
00:04:48,871 --> 00:04:50,163
Dumbbell.
24
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:55,210
It's from some damn Bette Davis picture,
some goddamn Warner Bros. Epic.
25
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:59,715
Martha, I can't remember all the pictures
that came out of Warner Bros.
26
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,926
Nobody's asking you to remember
every goddamn Warner Bros. Epic.
27
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,679
Just one. Just one single little epic.
That's all.
28
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,016
Bette Davis gets peritonitis at the end.
29
00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:11,823
And she wears this big black fright wig
all throughout the picture.
30
00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:14,229
And she's married to Joseph Cotten
or something.
31
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,690
- Somebody.
- Somebody.
32
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,443
And she wants to go to Chicago
all the time
33
00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,778
because she loves that actor
with the scar.
34
00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:25,407
But she gets sick, and she sits
down in front of her dressing table...
35
00:05:25,616 --> 00:05:27,075
What actor? What scar?
36
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,412
I can't remember his name, for God's sake.
What's the name of the picture?
37
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:33,332
I want to know
what the name of the picture is.
38
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,627
She gets this peritonitis
39
00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:41,173
but she decides to go
to Chicago anyway. And...
40
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,258
Chicago. It's called Chicago.
41
00:05:44,677 --> 00:05:45,677
Hmm?
42
00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:48,597
What? What is?
43
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,640
I mean the picture. It's called Chicago.
44
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,894
Oh, good grief.
45
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:56,605
Don't you know anything?
46
00:05:56,939 --> 00:06:02,110
Chicago was a '30s musical
starring little Miss Alice Faye.
47
00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:04,112
Don't you know anything?
48
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:06,448
This picture...
49
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:10,285
Bette Davis comes home from
a hard day at the grocery store...
50
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:11,995
She works in a grocery store?
51
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:16,708
(SIGHS) She's a housewife.
She buys things.
52
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:23,173
She comes home with the groceries
and she walks into the modest living room
53
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:27,511
of the modest cottage
modest Joseph Cotten set her up in.
54
00:06:27,678 --> 00:06:29,137
- Are they married?
- And...
55
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,808
Yes, they're married.
To each other, cluck.
56
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:38,605
And she comes in,
and she looks around this room
57
00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:42,359
and she sets down her groceries.
58
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:46,655
And she says, "What a dump!"
59
00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:51,326
Uh-huh.
60
00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:55,747
- She's discontent.
- Oh.
61
00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,751
Well, what's the name of the picture?
62
00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:01,837
I really don't know, Martha.
63
00:07:02,004 --> 00:07:03,130
Well, think!
64
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:05,132
Well, I'm tired, dear. It's late.
65
00:07:05,341 --> 00:07:08,677
Oh, I don't know what you have to be tired
about. You didn't do anything today.
66
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,429
- Oh, I'm tired.
- You didn't have any classes or anything.
67
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:12,180
Well, if your father didn't set up
68
00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:14,933
these damned Saturday-night orgies
all the time...
69
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,018
Oh, that's just too bad about you, George.
70
00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:18,854
Well, that's how it is anyway.
71
00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:23,483
You didn't do anything.
You never do anything. You never mix.
72
00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:25,777
You just sit around and talk.
73
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,279
Well, what do you want me to do?
74
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,247
You want me to go around braying
at everyone all night, the way you do?
75
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,033
I don't bray!
76
00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:34,536
All right, you don't bray.
77
00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:37,247
I did not bray.
78
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,499
I said you didn't bray.
79
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:42,502
Fix me a drink.
80
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:44,754
Haven't you had enough?
81
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,591
I said, fix me a drink.
82
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:53,722
Well, I don't suppose a nightcap
would kill either one of us.
83
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:57,684
(SCOFFS) A nightcap? Are you kidding?
84
00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,478
We've got guests.
85
00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:03,356
We've got what?
86
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:08,278
Guests. Guests.
87
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:09,946
Guests.
88
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:14,659
Yeah, guests. People.
We've got guests coming over.
89
00:08:14,952 --> 00:08:16,119
When?
90
00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,121
Now.
91
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:21,166
Good Lord, Martha,
do you know what time it is?
92
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:22,584
Yeah.
93
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,670
- Who's coming over?
- What's-their-name.
94
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,256
- Who?
- What's-their-name!
95
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:30,342
- Who's what's-their-name?
- (SIGHS) Oh.
96
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:34,054
I don't know their name, George.
97
00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:37,182
You met them tonight. They're new.
98
00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:39,267
He's in the Math Department or something.
99
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,811
I don't remember meeting anybody tonight.
100
00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:43,605
MARTHA: (SIGHS) Well, you did.
101
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:47,234
Of all the asinine...
Who are these people?
102
00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:50,779
- He's in the Math Department.
- Who?
103
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:56,451
He's in the Math Department.
He's young and he's blond.
104
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,453
He's good-looking, well-built?
105
00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:02,082
Yes, good-looking, well-built.
106
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:04,459
- (SIGHS) It figures.
- What?
107
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,399
- Nothing. Nothing.
- (SHOWER RUNNING)
108
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:10,340
His wife's a mousy little type
without any hips or anything.
109
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,384
Do you remember them now?
110
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:15,428
I guess so. But why in hell
do they have to come over here now?
111
00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:18,515
Because Daddy said we should be
nice to them. That's why.
112
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:19,724
For God's sake.
113
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,477
- Daddy said we should be nice to them.
- But why now?
114
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:25,355
Because Daddy said
we should be nice to them.
115
00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:26,940
Yeah, but I'm sure your father didn't mean
116
00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:28,984
we were supposed to stay up
all night with these people.
117
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:31,528
I mean, we could have them over
some Sunday or something.
118
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:35,323
Well, never mind. Besides, it is Sunday.
119
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,409
Very early Sunday.
120
00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:40,787
- It's ridiculous.
- Well, it's done.
121
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:42,914
(DOOR CLOSES)
122
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:09,608
Okay, where are they?
If we've got guests, where are they?
123
00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:11,735
They'll be here soon.
124
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:14,696
What'd they do, go home and
get some sleep first or something?
125
00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:17,324
They'll be here.
126
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:19,451
I wish you'd tell me about things
sometimes.
127
00:10:19,660 --> 00:10:22,120
I wish you'd stop springing things on me
all the time.
128
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:24,581
I don't spring things on you all the time.
129
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:28,460
Yes, you do. You really do.
You're always springing things on me.
130
00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:31,212
- Oh, George.
- Always.
131
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:36,176
Poor Georgie Porgie, put-upon pie.
132
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,473
Oh!
133
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:46,519
What are you doing? Are you sulking?
134
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:50,607
Let me see. Are you sulking?
135
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:54,110
Is that what you're doing? Huh?
136
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:55,695
Never mind.
137
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,072
Oh!
138
00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:00,617
- Just don't bother yourself.
- Oh!
139
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,494
Oh!
140
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:05,080
Oh.
141
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:06,665
Hey.
142
00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:08,708
- Hey.
- (MUFFLED) What?
143
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:12,837
♪ Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Virginia Woolf, Virginia Woolf? ♪
144
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,005
(GROANS)
145
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:17,425
♪ Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf? ♪
146
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:18,760
(LAUGHS)
147
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,722
What's the matter?
Didn't you think that was funny?
148
00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:25,392
- I thought it was a scream.
- It was all right.
149
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:28,103
You laughed your head off
when you heard it at the party.
150
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:32,023
- I smiled. I didn't laugh my head off.
- You laughed your goddamn head off.
151
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:35,652
- It was all right.
- It was a scream.
152
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:39,239
It was very funny, yes.
153
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,949
Oh, you make me puke.
154
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:44,619
- What?
- You make me puke.
155
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:49,416
- Wasn't a very nice thing to say, Martha.
- That wasn't what?
156
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,292
A very nice thing to say.
157
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:53,461
Oh, I like your anger.
158
00:11:53,629 --> 00:11:57,006
I think that's what I like about you most.
159
00:11:57,216 --> 00:12:00,218
Your anger. (EXCLAIMS)
160
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:04,472
You are such a simp.
161
00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:07,183
(STUTTERING) You haven't even got the...
162
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:10,687
- Oh, the... The what?
- Uh...
163
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:13,314
Guts?
164
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,067
Phrasemaker.
165
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,154
(CHUCKLING)
166
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,157
(CHUCKLES)
167
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,492
(BOTH LAUGHING)
168
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:33,668
Ah.
169
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,342
You never put any ice in my drink.
Why is that, huh?
170
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:44,721
I always put ice in your drinks, Martha.
You eat it, that's all.
171
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:49,517
It's this habit you've got of chewing
on your ice cubes like a cocker spaniel.
172
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,229
You'll crack your big teeth.
173
00:12:54,398 --> 00:12:56,357
Well, they're my big teeth.
174
00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:58,359
Yeah, some of them, some of them.
175
00:12:58,527 --> 00:13:00,862
I've got more teeth than you have.
176
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:03,364
- Two more.
- Mmm.
177
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,035
Well, you're going bald.
178
00:13:07,536 --> 00:13:11,331
- So are you.
- (BOTH LAUGHING)
179
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:15,710
(COUGHS)
180
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,098
- Hello, honey.
- (CHUCKLES)
181
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:34,896
Hey, go on,
give your mommy a big sloppy kiss.
182
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,231
No.
183
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:39,400
I want a big sloppy kiss.
184
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:41,820
I don't wanna kiss you right now, Martha.
185
00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:45,281
Where are these people you invited over?
186
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:51,454
Where is this good-looking, well-built
young man and his slim-hipped wife?
187
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,790
Stayed on to talk to Daddy.
They'll be here.
188
00:13:57,044 --> 00:13:58,878
Why didn't you want to kiss me? (SIGHS)
189
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,090
George?
190
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:11,432
- George?
- Yes, love?
191
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,351
Why didn't you want to kiss me?
192
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:18,022
Well, dear, if I kissed you I'd get
all excited. I'd get beside myself
193
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:21,901
and then I'd have to take you by force
right here on the living room rug.
194
00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:23,778
- (CHUCKLES)
- And our little guests would walk in
195
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:26,781
and, well, what would
your father say about that?
196
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,741
(CHUCKLES) Oh, you pig.
197
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:30,034
Oink oink.
198
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:33,913
Fix me another drink, lover.
199
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,249
My God, you can swill it down, can't you?
200
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:39,335
- Well, I'm thirsty.
- Oh, Jesus.
201
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:42,547
Look, sweetheart, I can drink you
under any goddamn table you want,
202
00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:43,923
so don't worry about me.
203
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:45,925
And I gave you the prize
years ago, Martha.
204
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:49,053
There isn't an abomination award going
that you haven't won.
205
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:52,265
I swear if you existed, I'd divorce you.
206
00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:54,809
Just stay on your feet, that's all.
These people are your guests.
207
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:56,311
I can't even see you.
208
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:58,646
- If you pass out or throw up...
- I haven't been able to see you
209
00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:00,481
- for years.
- And try to keep your clothes on, too.
210
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,191
There aren't many more sickening sights
in this world
211
00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:03,818
- when you have a couple of drinks...
- You're a blank.
212
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,778
- And your skirt over your head.
- A cipher. A zero.
213
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:07,947
- Your heads, I should say.
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
214
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,950
Party. Party.
215
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,828
Oh, I'm really looking forward to this,
Martha.
216
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:15,872
- Go answer the door.
- You answer it.
217
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:18,374
- Get to that door, you.
- To you.
218
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:19,824
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- Come on in!
219
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,599
I said get over there
and answer that door.
220
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,005
All right, love. Whatever love wants.
221
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:27,425
- Just don't start on the bit, that's all.
- The bit?
222
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,928
The bit? What kind of language is that?
223
00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:32,055
You're imitating one of your students,
for God's sake?
224
00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:34,641
Just don't start in on the bit
about the kid, that's all.
225
00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:37,310
- What do you take me for?
- Much too much.
226
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,771
Yeah? Well, I'll start in
on the kid if I want to.
227
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:40,939
I'd advise against it, Martha.
228
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,106
- Well, good for you.
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
229
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:44,692
Come on in!
Get over there and open that door.
230
00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:47,236
- You've been advised, Martha.
- Yeah. Sure. Get over there.
231
00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:49,781
All right, love. Whatever love wants.
232
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,367
It's nice the way
some people still have manners
233
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:55,119
and just don't come breaking into
other people's houses.
234
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:59,248
Even if they do hear some subhuman
monster yowling at them from inside.
235
00:15:59,416 --> 00:16:00,583
Goddamn you!
236
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,211
(GEORGE CHUCKLES)
237
00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:07,423
Hi there. (CHUCKLES)
238
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:09,592
- Hello. Here we are.
- Come on in.
239
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,886
- We finally made it.
- You must be our little guests.
240
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:15,890
Just ignore old sourpuss here.
Come on in, kids. (CHUCKLES)
241
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:19,268
Uh, just hand your coat and stuff
to old sourpuss here. (LAUGHS)
242
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:22,855
- Well, perhaps we shouldn't have come.
- Oh, yes, yes, it is late and I...
243
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:27,068
Late? Are you kidding? Uh, just throw your
stuff down anyplace and come on in.
244
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:30,905
Anywhere. Furniture, floor. Doesn't make
any difference around this place.
245
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:34,742
- I told you we shouldn't have come.
- I said, come on in. Now, come on.
246
00:16:34,910 --> 00:16:37,662
- HONEY: Oh, dear. (CHUCKLES)
- Oh, dear.
247
00:16:37,871 --> 00:16:39,497
Look, muck-mouth, you cut that out.
248
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,918
Martha. Martha's a devil with language.
She really is. (CHUCKLES)
249
00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:46,921
Uh, kids, sit down.
250
00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:50,383
Oh... Oh.
251
00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:53,052
Isn't this lovely?
252
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:57,724
- Oh, yes, indeed. Very handsome.
- Oh, well, thank you.
253
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:14,115
Uh, who, uh... Who did the painting?
254
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,409
That? Oh, that's by...
255
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:20,121
Some Greek with a mustache
Martha attacked one night in a...
256
00:17:20,330 --> 00:17:21,330
(LAUGHING)
257
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:25,293
It's got a...
258
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,462
- Quiet intensity?
- Well, no, a...
259
00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:30,465
Well, then a certain noisy,
relaxed quality maybe?
260
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,133
No, what I meant was...
261
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,021
How about a quietly noisy
relaxed intensity?
262
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,429
Dear, uh, you're being joshed. (CHUCKLES)
263
00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:37,638
- I'm aware of that.
- Oh.
264
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,640
I'm sorry. What it is, actually,
265
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:44,645
it's a pictorial representation
of the order of Martha's mind.
266
00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:46,314
(ALL LAUGHING)
267
00:17:47,649 --> 00:17:50,359
Fix the kids a drink, George.
What would you like to drink, kids?
268
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:51,652
Honey...
269
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,490
- What would you like?
- Oh, I don't know, dear.
270
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,659
Uh, a little brandy maybe.
Never mix, never worry.
271
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,995
Brandy? Just brandy. Simple, simple.
272
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,830
What about you, uh...
273
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:04,749
Uh... Uh...
274
00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:10,838
- Bourbon on the rocks, if you don't mind.
- Mind? I don't mind. Don't think I mind.
275
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:13,091
Martha, rubbing alcohol for you?
276
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:16,094
Sure. Never mix, never worry.
277
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:17,678
(ALL LAUGHING)
278
00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:19,639
Never mix, never worry.
279
00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:25,520
Uh, Hey. Hey. (LAUGHS)
280
00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:28,564
♪ Who's afraid of Virginia... ♪
281
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:30,942
♪ Virginia Woolf? ♪
282
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,276
Wasn't that funny?
283
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:35,321
- That was so funny, huh?
- Yes, it was.
284
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:38,908
I thought I'd bust a gut. I really did.
285
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,954
George didn't think it was funny at all.
286
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:46,707
Martha thinks that unless you, as she
puts it, bust a gut, you're not amused.
287
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:49,418
You know, unless you carry on like
a hyena, you're not having any fun.
288
00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:53,005
Well, I certainly had fun.
It was a wonderful party.
289
00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:56,884
- Yes, it certainly was.
- And your father, oh, he is so wonderful.
290
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,302
- Yes, yes, he is.
- Yeah.
291
00:18:58,512 --> 00:19:01,806
- Oh, I tell you.
- He's, uh, quite a guy, isn't he?
292
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:03,724
- Quite a guy.
- You better believe it.
293
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:07,061
- Oh, he's a marvelous man.
- I'm not trying to tear him down.
294
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,856
- He's a god. We all know that.
- You lay off my father.
295
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:13,734
Yes, love. What I mean is, when you've had
as many faculty parties as I have...
296
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,612
- I rather appreciated it.
- You what?
297
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,740
I mean aside from enjoying it,
having fun, I appreciated it. Everything.
298
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:21,909
Meeting everyone,
getting introduced around.
299
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,954
The way he had us put up out at the inn
till our place is ready.
300
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:28,374
- Why, when I was teaching in Kansas...
- You won't believe it
301
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:33,504
but we had to make our way
all by ourselves. Isn't that right, dear?
302
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,882
- Why, yes...
- We had to make our own way.
303
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:40,678
I would have to go up to the wives
in the library or the supermarket
304
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:43,139
and say, "Hello, I am new here.
305
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:46,726
"You must be, uh, Mrs. So-and-So,
Dr. So-and-So's wife."
306
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:50,021
It really wasn't very nice at all. Mmm.
307
00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:55,568
Daddy knows how to run things.
308
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,195
He's a remarkable man.
309
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:58,988
You bet your sweet life.
310
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:01,490
Let me tell you a secret, baby. (SIGHS)
311
00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:03,138
There are easier things in this world
312
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,870
if you, uh, happen
to be teaching at a university.
313
00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:08,402
There are easier things than being married
to the daughter
314
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:12,585
of the president of that university.
There are easier things in this world.
315
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:15,129
It should be an extraordinary opportunity.
316
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:18,132
For some men
it would be the chance of a lifetime.
317
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:21,469
There are, believe me,
easier things in this world.
318
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:24,388
Some men would give their right arm
for the chance.
319
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:26,849
Alas, Martha, in reality
it works out that the sacrifice
320
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:29,810
is of a somewhat more private
portion of the anatomy.
321
00:20:29,978 --> 00:20:30,978
Ah...
322
00:20:31,605 --> 00:20:33,981
I wonder if you could show me where the...
323
00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:35,816
- Are you all right?
- Oh, oh, oh!
324
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:39,111
Of course, dear.
I just want to put some powder on my nose.
325
00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:42,281
Martha, will you show her
where we keep the, uh, euphemism?
326
00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:44,116
- What?
- (MUMBLES)
327
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:49,288
Oh, uh, I'm sorry. Come on.
I want to show you the house anyway.
328
00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:50,957
We'll be back, dear.
329
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,919
- Honestly, George, you burn me up.
- All right.
330
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:58,214
- You really do, George. You really do.
- Okay, Martha, just trot along.
331
00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:00,841
Just don't shoot your mouth off
about you-know-what.
332
00:21:01,134 --> 00:21:04,178
I'll talk about
any goddamn thing I want to.
333
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:05,930
Okay, okay, vanish.
334
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,599
Any goddamn thing I want.
335
00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:10,184
Vanish.
336
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:11,686
Come on.
337
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:17,149
(SIGHS)
338
00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:35,751
Oh, uh...
339
00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:39,797
Uh, what'll it be?
340
00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:41,549
I'll stick to bourbon, I guess.
341
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:42,717
Ah.
342
00:21:46,888 --> 00:21:50,599
So you're in the Math Department?
343
00:21:51,226 --> 00:21:52,351
No.
344
00:21:54,354 --> 00:21:56,397
Uh, no.
345
00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:59,275
No? Martha said you were.
I think that's what she said.
346
00:22:04,239 --> 00:22:05,239
(SIGHS)
347
00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:08,743
- What made you decide to be a teacher?
- Oh.
348
00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:12,496
Well, the same things
that, uh, motivated you, I imagine.
349
00:22:12,789 --> 00:22:14,665
- Uh-huh, what were they?
- Pardon?
350
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:17,313
I said, what were they?
What were the things that motivated me?
351
00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:19,211
(SCOFFS) Well, I'm sure I don't know.
352
00:22:19,379 --> 00:22:21,088
You just finished saying that
the things that motivated you
353
00:22:21,256 --> 00:22:22,506
were the same things that motivated me.
354
00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:25,634
- I said I imagined they were.
- Oh, did you?
355
00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:27,553
Oh, well.
356
00:22:36,938 --> 00:22:38,439
You like it here?
357
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:41,442
Yes, it's fine.
358
00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,235
I meant the university.
359
00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:44,779
Oh, I thought you meant...
360
00:22:44,946 --> 00:22:47,281
Yeah, I could see you did.
I meant the university.
361
00:22:48,116 --> 00:22:50,159
Well, I like it fine.
362
00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:54,121
Just fine.
363
00:23:03,298 --> 00:23:06,884
You've been here for quite a long time,
haven't you?
364
00:23:09,971 --> 00:23:11,347
What?
365
00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:16,352
Oh, yes. Yes, ever since I married, uh,
what's-her-name, Martha.
366
00:23:17,145 --> 00:23:20,106
Even before that. Forever.
367
00:23:20,273 --> 00:23:22,817
Dashed hopes and good intentions.
368
00:23:22,984 --> 00:23:26,112
Good, better, best, bested.
369
00:23:28,448 --> 00:23:30,408
How do you like that for a declension,
young man?
370
00:23:30,617 --> 00:23:32,737
- Sir, I'm sorry... Sir?
- You didn't answer my question.
371
00:23:32,869 --> 00:23:33,953
Don't you condescend to me.
372
00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:35,579
I asked you how you liked that
for a declension?
373
00:23:35,747 --> 00:23:37,456
Good, better, best, bested.
374
00:23:37,916 --> 00:23:39,583
Huh? Well?
375
00:23:39,751 --> 00:23:42,837
- I really don't know what to say.
- You really don't know what to say?
376
00:23:43,004 --> 00:23:44,046
All right! What do you want me to say?
377
00:23:44,214 --> 00:23:45,339
Do you want me to say it's funny,
378
00:23:45,507 --> 00:23:46,674
so you can contradict me
and say it's sad?
379
00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:48,008
Or do you want me to say it's sad
380
00:23:48,176 --> 00:23:49,510
so you can turn around and say,
"No, it's funny"?
381
00:23:49,719 --> 00:23:51,762
You can play that damn little game
any way you want to, you know.
382
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:53,097
Very good, very good.
383
00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:55,057
Now, when my wife comes back,
I think we'll just...
384
00:23:55,225 --> 00:23:57,435
Now, calm down. Just calm down. All right?
385
00:23:57,644 --> 00:23:59,520
- You want another drink? Here, let me...
- I still have one.
386
00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:03,023
- And I do think when my wife comes down...
- Let me freshen it for you. Stay there.
387
00:24:03,191 --> 00:24:07,945
What I mean is, you two, you and your wife
seem to be having some sort of a...
388
00:24:08,113 --> 00:24:11,907
Martha and I are having nothing. Martha
and I are merely exercising, that's all.
389
00:24:12,075 --> 00:24:15,369
We're merely walking what's left of
our wits. Don't pay any attention to us.
390
00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:18,097
- Still, I think we...
- Well, now, let's sit down and talk, huh?
391
00:24:18,707 --> 00:24:22,543
It's just that I don't like to become
involved in other people's affairs.
392
00:24:22,711 --> 00:24:24,920
Oh, you'll get over that.
Small college and all.
393
00:24:25,088 --> 00:24:27,631
- Musical beds is the faculty sport here.
- Sir?
394
00:24:27,799 --> 00:24:30,217
I said, musical... Never mind.
I wish you wouldn't go, "Sir" like that.
395
00:24:30,385 --> 00:24:32,553
- How old are you?
- Twenty-eight.
396
00:24:32,721 --> 00:24:34,180
I'm 40-something.
397
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:38,309
Well? Aren't you surprised?
I mean, don't I look older?
398
00:24:40,228 --> 00:24:41,520
I think you look fine.
399
00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:43,981
I've always been lean.
I use the handball courts.
400
00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:46,150
How much do you weigh?
401
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:49,320
Hundred fifty-five, 60, something
like that? Do you play handball?
402
00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:50,488
Not very well.
403
00:24:50,697 --> 00:24:51,857
Then we should play sometime.
404
00:24:51,907 --> 00:24:56,243
Martha is 108 years old.
She weighs somewhat more than that.
405
00:24:56,411 --> 00:24:57,912
How old is your wife?
406
00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:00,164
She's 26.
407
00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:04,084
Martha is a remarkable woman.
I would imagine she weighs around 110.
408
00:25:04,252 --> 00:25:05,836
- Your wife weighs...
- No, my boy...
409
00:25:06,004 --> 00:25:08,839
Yours. Your wife. My wife is Martha.
410
00:25:09,049 --> 00:25:10,424
- Yes, I know.
- Yes.
411
00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:14,512
Yes, well, if you were married to Martha
you would know what it means.
412
00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:16,430
And if I were married to your wife,
413
00:25:16,598 --> 00:25:18,474
I would know what that means, too,
wouldn't I?
414
00:25:19,142 --> 00:25:20,267
Yes.
415
00:25:22,103 --> 00:25:26,065
Martha says you're in
the, uh, Math Department or something.
416
00:25:26,691 --> 00:25:27,775
No, I'm not.
417
00:25:28,151 --> 00:25:29,401
Well, Martha's seldom mistaken.
418
00:25:29,611 --> 00:25:31,811
Maybe you should be in the Math Department
or something.
419
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,532
I'm a biologist.
I'm in the Biology Department.
420
00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:35,950
Oh.
421
00:25:37,410 --> 00:25:38,410
Oh.
422
00:25:38,787 --> 00:25:40,704
- Sir?
- You're the one.
423
00:25:40,872 --> 00:25:43,958
You're the one's gonna make all
that trouble, making everyone the same.
424
00:25:44,125 --> 00:25:48,337
Rearranging the "chromozones,"
or whatever it is. Isn't that right?
425
00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:50,297
Not exactly. Chromosomes.
426
00:25:50,799 --> 00:25:51,966
I'm very mistrustful.
427
00:25:53,385 --> 00:25:55,666
I, uh... Do you believe people
learn nothing from history?
428
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,179
I'm in the History Department.
429
00:25:57,556 --> 00:25:58,639
Yes, I know.
430
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:01,475
Martha tells me often that
I'm in the History Department
431
00:26:01,643 --> 00:26:03,644
as opposed to being the
History Department,
432
00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:06,480
in the sense of running
the History Department.
433
00:26:06,648 --> 00:26:09,316
I do not run the History Department.
434
00:26:09,526 --> 00:26:11,193
Well, I don't run the Biology Department.
435
00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:12,486
- You're 21.
- Twenty-eight.
436
00:26:12,654 --> 00:26:13,654
Twenty-eight.
437
00:26:13,863 --> 00:26:17,825
Perhaps when you're 40-something
you will run the History Department.
438
00:26:18,034 --> 00:26:20,119
- Biology.
- Biology Department, of course.
439
00:26:20,412 --> 00:26:23,330
I'm really very mistrustful.
440
00:26:23,957 --> 00:26:27,710
I read somewhere that, uh, science fiction
is not really fiction at all.
441
00:26:27,877 --> 00:26:29,587
That you people are rearranging my genes
442
00:26:29,754 --> 00:26:32,006
so that everyone will be
like everyone else.
443
00:26:32,340 --> 00:26:35,926
I suspect we will not have much music,
much painting.
444
00:26:36,094 --> 00:26:40,514
But we will have a civilization of sublime
young men very much like yourself.
445
00:26:40,724 --> 00:26:45,102
Cultures and races will vanish.
The ants will take over the world.
446
00:26:45,312 --> 00:26:47,521
You don't know much about science, do you?
447
00:26:47,731 --> 00:26:50,691
I know something about history.
I know when I'm being threatened.
448
00:26:50,859 --> 00:26:51,859
(CHUCKLES)
449
00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:54,778
Your wife doesn't have any hips, does she?
I mean, does she?
450
00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:56,030
What?
451
00:26:56,197 --> 00:26:58,449
Oh, I, uh... I didn't mean to suggest
that I'm hip-happy.
452
00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:01,201
I was implying
that your wife is slim-hipped.
453
00:27:02,495 --> 00:27:04,038
Yes, she is.
454
00:27:04,539 --> 00:27:07,875
- You got any kids?
- No, not yet. You?
455
00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:10,140
That's for me to know and you to find out.
456
00:27:11,755 --> 00:27:13,088
Indeed.
457
00:27:13,256 --> 00:27:14,798
No kids, huh?
458
00:27:15,592 --> 00:27:16,717
What's the matter?
459
00:27:16,926 --> 00:27:19,720
Nothing. We just, uh...
We wanted to wait till we're settled.
460
00:27:20,138 --> 00:27:21,138
Oh.
461
00:27:23,350 --> 00:27:25,643
Do you think you'll be happy
here at New Carthage?
462
00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:29,313
Well, we hope to stay here.
I don't mean forever.
463
00:27:29,731 --> 00:27:32,900
Well, I wouldn't let that get bandied
about. The old man wouldn't like it.
464
00:27:33,068 --> 00:27:34,068
(COUGHING)
465
00:27:34,319 --> 00:27:38,739
Martha's father expects his staff
to come here and grow old
466
00:27:38,948 --> 00:27:41,241
and, uh, fall in the line of service.
467
00:27:41,451 --> 00:27:44,119
One man, a professor of
Latin and elocution
468
00:27:44,287 --> 00:27:46,872
actually fell in the
cafeteria line one lunch.
469
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:51,251
But the old man is not gonna fall
anywhere. The old man is not gonna die.
470
00:27:51,461 --> 00:27:52,920
There are rumors
471
00:27:53,088 --> 00:27:56,840
which you must not breathe in front
of Martha, for she foams at the mouth
472
00:27:57,092 --> 00:27:58,717
that the old man, her father
473
00:27:58,927 --> 00:28:02,596
is over 200 years old.
474
00:28:02,806 --> 00:28:04,264
There's probably an irony there
in some place,
475
00:28:04,557 --> 00:28:06,517
but I'm not drunk enough to figure out
what it is.
476
00:28:06,768 --> 00:28:08,602
Martha!
477
00:28:09,479 --> 00:28:11,105
Damn it.
478
00:28:11,314 --> 00:28:13,514
I wonder what women talk about
when the men are talking.
479
00:28:13,608 --> 00:28:14,942
I must find out sometime.
480
00:28:15,151 --> 00:28:18,070
- MARTHA: What do you want?
- (CHUCKLES)
481
00:28:19,072 --> 00:28:20,698
Isn't that a wonderful sound?
482
00:28:21,116 --> 00:28:23,075
- MARTHA: George!
- How many kids you gonna have?
483
00:28:24,244 --> 00:28:25,953
NICK: I don't know. My wife is, uh...
484
00:28:26,162 --> 00:28:29,123
Slim-hipped.
Well, there's one of you at least.
485
00:28:29,332 --> 00:28:31,291
You must see this house, dear.
486
00:28:31,501 --> 00:28:34,545
- Oh, this is such a wonderful old house.
- NICK: Yes.
487
00:28:34,754 --> 00:28:35,796
Martha!
488
00:28:35,964 --> 00:28:38,004
MARTHA: For Christ sake,
hang on a minute, will you?
489
00:28:38,091 --> 00:28:39,800
She'll be right down, she's changing.
490
00:28:39,968 --> 00:28:41,093
- She's what? She's changing?
- Yes.
491
00:28:41,302 --> 00:28:42,344
What, her clothes?
492
00:28:42,512 --> 00:28:43,846
- Her dress.
- Why?
493
00:28:44,013 --> 00:28:46,765
Uh, why... I imagine that she wants
to be comfortable.
494
00:28:46,975 --> 00:28:48,183
Oh, she does, does she?
495
00:28:48,351 --> 00:28:50,978
- Well, heavens, I should think...
- You don't know.
496
00:28:52,814 --> 00:28:55,983
- You all right, dear?
- Yes, dear, perfectly fine.
497
00:28:56,192 --> 00:28:58,152
So she wants to be comfortable, does she?
498
00:28:58,319 --> 00:28:59,653
Well, we'll see about that.
499
00:29:00,321 --> 00:29:02,114
I didn't know that you had a son.
500
00:29:04,576 --> 00:29:06,535
- What?
- A son. I hadn't known.
501
00:29:06,828 --> 00:29:09,788
- You to know and me to find out, huh?
- Tomorrow is his birthday.
502
00:29:09,956 --> 00:29:12,458
- He will be 16.
- Well.
503
00:29:13,001 --> 00:29:14,668
- She told you about him?
- Well, yes.
504
00:29:14,836 --> 00:29:16,545
- She told you about him?
- Yes.
505
00:29:17,797 --> 00:29:19,840
- You said she's changing?
- Yes.
506
00:29:20,341 --> 00:29:23,260
- And she mentioned...
- Your son's birthday, yes.
507
00:29:24,971 --> 00:29:26,597
Okay, Martha. Okay.
508
00:29:27,307 --> 00:29:31,226
- You look little pale. Would you like...
- Yes, dear, a little more brandy maybe.
509
00:29:31,436 --> 00:29:32,853
- Just a drop.
- May I use the...
510
00:29:33,062 --> 00:29:34,521
- Okay, Martha. What?
- Bar.
511
00:29:34,856 --> 00:29:39,193
What? Yes, yes. By all means, drink away.
You'll need it as the years go on.
512
00:29:40,570 --> 00:29:42,362
Damn destructive...
513
00:29:42,655 --> 00:29:44,948
Oh, what time is it, dear?
514
00:29:45,617 --> 00:29:47,493
- 2:30.
- Oh, so late.
515
00:29:47,702 --> 00:29:49,077
Maybe we should be getting home.
516
00:29:49,370 --> 00:29:52,080
For what? You keeping the babysitter up
or something?
517
00:29:52,916 --> 00:29:54,917
I told you we didn't have children.
518
00:29:55,126 --> 00:29:57,085
GEORGE: Yeah, I'm sorry.
I wasn't even listening.
519
00:29:57,587 --> 00:29:59,379
Or thinking. Whichever one applies.
520
00:30:00,131 --> 00:30:01,211
We'll go in a little while.
521
00:30:01,716 --> 00:30:03,509
Oh, no. No, you mustn't.
522
00:30:03,676 --> 00:30:06,512
Martha is changing,
and Martha is not changing for me.
523
00:30:06,679 --> 00:30:08,555
Martha hasn't changed for me in years.
524
00:30:08,723 --> 00:30:11,308
If Martha is changing, it means we're
gonna be here for days.
525
00:30:11,518 --> 00:30:12,758
You're being accorded an honor.
526
00:30:12,852 --> 00:30:15,652
And you mustn't forget that Martha is
the daughter of our beloved boss.
527
00:30:15,688 --> 00:30:17,856
She is his right arm. (CHUCKLES)
528
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:21,151
I was gonna use another word,
but we leave that sort of talk to Martha.
529
00:30:21,319 --> 00:30:22,528
MARTHA: What sort of talk?
530
00:30:26,825 --> 00:30:28,283
Well, now.
531
00:30:29,869 --> 00:30:32,246
Why, Martha, your Sunday chapel dress.
532
00:30:32,705 --> 00:30:34,957
HONEY: Oh, that's most attractive.
533
00:30:35,208 --> 00:30:37,125
You like it? Good.
534
00:30:38,002 --> 00:30:40,602
What the hell do you mean
screaming up the stairs at me like that?
535
00:30:40,713 --> 00:30:44,091
We got lonely, darling. We got lonely
for the soft purr of your little voice.
536
00:30:44,634 --> 00:30:47,928
Well, you just trot over
to the bar-i-poo and...
537
00:30:48,096 --> 00:30:50,848
And make your little mommy
a great big drink.
538
00:30:51,057 --> 00:30:52,599
- That's right.
- (CHUCKLES)
539
00:30:54,936 --> 00:30:57,771
(LAUGHS) Say, you must be quite a guy
540
00:30:57,939 --> 00:31:00,649
getting your master's
when you were, what, 12?
541
00:31:00,817 --> 00:31:02,985
- Hear that, George?
- Twelve-and-a-half, actually.
542
00:31:03,152 --> 00:31:04,152
(LAUGHS)
543
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:05,362
No, 19, really.
544
00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:08,282
- Honey, you needn't have mentioned that.
- Oh, I'm proud of you.
545
00:31:08,449 --> 00:31:10,909
- I'm very impressed.
- You're damn right.
546
00:31:11,077 --> 00:31:13,620
I said I was impressed.
Beside myself with jealousy.
547
00:31:13,788 --> 00:31:15,455
What do you want me to do, throw up?
548
00:31:16,457 --> 00:31:18,792
That's really very impressive.
You should be right proud.
549
00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:21,879
- Oh, he's a pretty nice fella.
- (CHUCKLES)
550
00:31:22,046 --> 00:31:24,423
I wouldn't be surprised if you did
take over the History Department...
551
00:31:24,591 --> 00:31:26,091
- Biology Department.
- Biology Department, of course.
552
00:31:26,259 --> 00:31:27,634
I seem preoccupied with history.
553
00:31:28,094 --> 00:31:29,636
(CHUCKLING)
554
00:31:29,971 --> 00:31:33,015
Oh, what a remark.
"I am preoccupied with history."
555
00:31:33,308 --> 00:31:34,933
- (LAUGHING)
- (HONEY LAUGHS)
556
00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:36,977
George is not preoccupied with history.
557
00:31:37,145 --> 00:31:39,688
George is preoccupied
with the History Department.
558
00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:42,216
George is preoccupied
with the History Department because...
559
00:31:42,317 --> 00:31:46,069
Because he's not the History Department
but is only in the History Department.
560
00:31:46,279 --> 00:31:49,156
We know, Martha, we went through all that
while you were upstairs getting up.
561
00:31:49,324 --> 00:31:51,783
That's right, baby, you keep it clean.
562
00:31:52,327 --> 00:31:54,828
George is bogged down
in the History Department.
563
00:31:55,413 --> 00:31:58,707
(CHUCKLES) He's an old bog
in the History Department.
564
00:31:59,334 --> 00:32:00,876
- That's what George is.
- (HONEY AND NICK CHUCKLING)
565
00:32:01,085 --> 00:32:04,838
A bog, a fen, a G.D. swamp.
566
00:32:05,048 --> 00:32:06,381
(LAUGHING)
567
00:32:06,591 --> 00:32:07,966
A swamp.
568
00:32:08,259 --> 00:32:11,011
Hey, swamp. Hey, swampy.
569
00:32:12,388 --> 00:32:13,847
Yes, Martha?
570
00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:17,142
Can I get you something?
571
00:32:17,977 --> 00:32:20,354
Oh... Well, sure.
572
00:32:20,688 --> 00:32:24,107
You can, uh, light my cigarette
if you're of a mind to.
573
00:32:24,359 --> 00:32:26,860
No. There are limits.
574
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:30,320
I mean, a man can put up with only so much
without he descends a rung or two
575
00:32:30,365 --> 00:32:33,033
on the old evolutionary ladder,
which is up your line.
576
00:32:33,701 --> 00:32:37,537
Now, I will hold your hand when it's dark
and you're afraid of the bogeyman.
577
00:32:37,705 --> 00:32:40,624
And I will tote your gin bottles
out after midnight so no one can see.
578
00:32:40,833 --> 00:32:45,921
But I will not light your cigarette.
And that, as they say, is that.
579
00:32:47,215 --> 00:32:48,507
Jesus.
580
00:32:50,551 --> 00:32:51,551
(COUGHS)
581
00:32:51,719 --> 00:32:53,804
Hey, you, uh, played football, huh?
582
00:32:54,097 --> 00:32:56,223
(CHUCKLES) Well, yes, I was a quarterback.
583
00:32:56,391 --> 00:32:59,267
But I was much more adept
at boxing, really.
584
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:03,397
- Boxing? You hear that, George?
- Yes, Martha.
585
00:33:03,731 --> 00:33:04,898
You must've been pretty good at it.
586
00:33:05,149 --> 00:33:06,733
Don't look like you got
hit in the face at all.
587
00:33:06,985 --> 00:33:09,820
He was intercollegiate state
middleweight champion.
588
00:33:10,029 --> 00:33:11,446
- Honey.
- Well, you were.
589
00:33:11,823 --> 00:33:14,950
You still look like you have a
pretty good body now, too. Is that right?
590
00:33:15,284 --> 00:33:18,161
- Martha, decency forbids...
- Shut up.
591
00:33:18,579 --> 00:33:21,707
Is that right?
Have you, uh, kept your body?
592
00:33:22,166 --> 00:33:25,419
- It's still pretty good. I work out.
- Do you?
593
00:33:25,586 --> 00:33:29,214
- Yeah.
- Yes, he has a very firm body.
594
00:33:29,424 --> 00:33:31,842
Have you? Well, I think that's very nice.
595
00:33:32,218 --> 00:33:34,845
Well, you never know.
You know, once you have it...
596
00:33:35,054 --> 00:33:37,139
You never know
when it's gonna come in handy.
597
00:33:37,348 --> 00:33:38,598
(LAUGHING)
598
00:33:39,517 --> 00:33:42,019
I was gonna say,
why give it up until you have to?
599
00:33:43,479 --> 00:33:44,938
I couldn't agree with you more.
600
00:33:45,732 --> 00:33:48,066
I couldn't agree with you more.
601
00:33:48,276 --> 00:33:50,193
Martha, your obscenity is beyond human...
602
00:33:50,361 --> 00:33:53,113
George here doesn't cotton
too much to body talk.
603
00:33:53,281 --> 00:33:55,824
Paunchy here, uh, isn't too happy
604
00:33:55,992 --> 00:33:58,410
when the conversation moves to muscle.
How much do you weigh?
605
00:33:59,162 --> 00:34:02,414
Uh, a hundred and fifty-five, 150...
606
00:34:02,623 --> 00:34:06,168
Still at the old middleweight limit, huh?
(CHUCKLES) That's pretty good.
607
00:34:06,419 --> 00:34:09,129
Hey, uh, George.
608
00:34:09,839 --> 00:34:11,965
Tell them about the boxing match we had.
609
00:34:13,843 --> 00:34:15,427
Christ.
610
00:34:16,262 --> 00:34:17,804
George, tell them about it.
611
00:34:17,972 --> 00:34:19,806
You tell them, Martha, you're good at it.
612
00:34:20,516 --> 00:34:23,060
- Is he all right?
- Him? (CHUCKLES) Oh, sure.
613
00:34:24,145 --> 00:34:27,981
See, George and I had this boxing match
a couple of years after we were married.
614
00:34:28,483 --> 00:34:31,318
NICK: A boxing match? The two of you?
HONEY: Oh, really?
615
00:34:31,527 --> 00:34:34,321
- (NICK LAUGHING)
- MARTHA: Yeah, the two of us. Really.
616
00:34:34,697 --> 00:34:36,198
HONEY: I can't imagine it.
617
00:34:36,574 --> 00:34:39,284
MARTHA: Well, it wasn't in a ring
or anything like that, you know.
618
00:34:39,452 --> 00:34:42,412
See, Daddy was on this
physical-fitness kick.
619
00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:44,539
So he had a couple of us over one Sunday
620
00:34:44,707 --> 00:34:48,794
and we all went out in the back
and Daddy put the gloves on himself
621
00:34:49,003 --> 00:34:51,838
- and he asked George to box with him.
- NICK: Uh-huh, yeah.
622
00:34:52,006 --> 00:34:54,257
MARTHA: And George didn't want to.
623
00:34:54,425 --> 00:34:56,676
NICK: Yeah.
MARTHA: So Daddy was saying,
624
00:34:56,844 --> 00:35:00,180
"Come on, young man.
What sort of a son-in-law are you?"
625
00:35:00,348 --> 00:35:01,681
- And stuff like that.
- (NICK AND HONEY LAUGHING)
626
00:35:01,891 --> 00:35:05,936
And while this is going on,
I don't know why I did it.
627
00:35:06,104 --> 00:35:08,688
I got into a pair of gloves myself
628
00:35:08,856 --> 00:35:13,985
and I snuck up behind George,
just kidding, and yelled, "Hey, George!"
629
00:35:14,153 --> 00:35:17,114
And let go with
a sort of roundhouse right.
630
00:35:17,281 --> 00:35:18,961
- Just kidding, you know.
- NICK: Yeah, yeah.
631
00:35:19,033 --> 00:35:23,453
And George wheeled around real quick
and caught it right in the jaw.
632
00:35:23,871 --> 00:35:24,871
(SCREAMS)
633
00:35:25,164 --> 00:35:26,373
(LAUGHING)
634
00:35:26,833 --> 00:35:29,334
MARTHA: He caught it right in the jaw.
635
00:35:30,378 --> 00:35:33,171
And he was off-balance...
He must have been.
636
00:35:33,339 --> 00:35:37,551
And then he landed
flat in a huckleberry bush.
637
00:35:38,219 --> 00:35:39,386
NICK: Yeah.
638
00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:45,267
MARTHA: It was awful, really.
It was funny.
639
00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:47,310
It was...
640
00:35:49,897 --> 00:35:52,149
I think it's colored our whole lives.
641
00:35:54,235 --> 00:35:55,527
(SCREAMING)
642
00:36:00,783 --> 00:36:02,868
- Pow, you're dead.
- Lord.
643
00:36:03,077 --> 00:36:04,452
Oh, my goodness.
644
00:36:04,745 --> 00:36:06,413
(ALL LAUGHING)
645
00:36:08,332 --> 00:36:10,584
- Where'd you get that, you bastard?
- Let me see that.
646
00:36:10,751 --> 00:36:12,210
I've had it a while.
647
00:36:12,378 --> 00:36:14,462
- Liked that, did you?
- Oh, you bastard.
648
00:36:14,630 --> 00:36:16,756
- I've never been so frightened.
- You liked that?
649
00:36:17,633 --> 00:36:20,427
That was pretty good. Hey, give me a kiss.
650
00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:22,596
- Later, sweetie.
- Give me a kiss.
651
00:36:22,763 --> 00:36:24,139
NICK: Oh, boy.
652
00:36:25,725 --> 00:36:27,767
- (MARTHA MOANS)
- Ah!
653
00:36:28,060 --> 00:36:29,269
So that's what you're after, is it?
654
00:36:29,437 --> 00:36:30,979
What are we gonna have?
Blue games for the guests?
655
00:36:31,230 --> 00:36:32,355
- Huh? Huh?
- You son of a...
656
00:36:32,523 --> 00:36:35,567
Everything in its place, Martha.
Everything in its own good time.
657
00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:37,736
Drinks now. Drinks for all.
658
00:36:37,945 --> 00:36:39,738
Why, Martha, you've been nibbling
away at your glass.
659
00:36:39,947 --> 00:36:40,947
I have not.
660
00:36:41,282 --> 00:36:44,201
Oh, I think I need something.
I was never so frightened in my life.
661
00:36:44,368 --> 00:36:46,119
Weren't you frightened, just for a second?
662
00:36:46,287 --> 00:36:47,370
Mmm.
663
00:36:47,830 --> 00:36:50,290
- I don't remember.
- HONEY: Oh, now, I bet you were.
664
00:36:50,625 --> 00:36:52,834
Did you really think
I was gonna kill you, Martha?
665
00:36:53,002 --> 00:36:57,255
- You kill me? That's a laugh.
- Well, now, I might someday.
666
00:36:58,299 --> 00:37:00,550
- Fat chance.
- Where's the john?
667
00:37:01,302 --> 00:37:03,428
Oh, it's, uh...
It's down the hall and to the right.
668
00:37:03,596 --> 00:37:05,805
Now, don't you come back
with any guns or anything.
669
00:37:05,973 --> 00:37:07,057
Oh, no.
670
00:37:07,225 --> 00:37:09,345
- You don't need any props, do you, baby?
- (CHUCKLES)
671
00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:13,647
I'll bet not. No fake gun for you, huh?
672
00:37:13,814 --> 00:37:15,065
May I leave my drink here?
673
00:37:15,233 --> 00:37:17,234
Sure, why not? We've got half-filled
glasses all over the house,
674
00:37:17,401 --> 00:37:18,735
wherever Martha forgets she's left them.
675
00:37:18,903 --> 00:37:20,278
In the linen closet,
the edge of the bathtub.
676
00:37:20,446 --> 00:37:22,155
- I even found one in the freezer once.
- (HONEY CHUCKLING)
677
00:37:22,323 --> 00:37:24,074
- You did not.
- Yes, I did.
678
00:37:24,242 --> 00:37:27,202
- You did not.
- Yes, I did.
679
00:37:28,037 --> 00:37:30,497
- Brandy doesn't give you a hangover?
- I never mix.
680
00:37:30,665 --> 00:37:32,305
And then, I don't drink very much either.
681
00:37:32,458 --> 00:37:34,251
Oh, good, good. (CHUCKLES)
682
00:37:34,877 --> 00:37:37,504
Your husband was telling us
all about the chromosomes.
683
00:37:37,672 --> 00:37:40,298
- What?
- Chromosomes, Martha. He's a biologist.
684
00:37:40,508 --> 00:37:42,676
- He's in the Math Department.
- Biologist.
685
00:37:42,843 --> 00:37:45,512
- He's in the Math Department!
- Oh, uh...
686
00:37:46,681 --> 00:37:48,306
Uh, Biology.
687
00:37:49,392 --> 00:37:53,061
- Are you sure?
- Well, I ought to be sure.
688
00:37:54,522 --> 00:37:57,691
So he's a biologist. Good for him.
689
00:37:58,442 --> 00:38:00,193
Biology's even better.
690
00:38:00,486 --> 00:38:04,030
It's right at the meat of things.
You're right at the meat of things, baby.
691
00:38:04,198 --> 00:38:06,366
She thought that you were
in the Math Department.
692
00:38:06,742 --> 00:38:07,951
- (HONEY AND NICK CHUCKLE)
- Maybe I ought to be.
693
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:12,038
You stay right where you are.
You stay right at the meat of things.
694
00:38:12,873 --> 00:38:15,208
You're obsessed by that phrase, Martha.
It's ugly.
695
00:38:15,376 --> 00:38:17,294
You stay right there.
696
00:38:17,878 --> 00:38:22,549
You can take over the History Department
just as easy from there as anyplace else.
697
00:38:22,717 --> 00:38:25,677
God knows, somebody's gotta take over
the History Department someday.
698
00:38:25,845 --> 00:38:29,431
And it ain't gonna be Georgie-boy
over there, that's for sure.
699
00:38:30,057 --> 00:38:32,475
Are you, swampy? Are you, huh?
700
00:38:33,477 --> 00:38:36,688
Martha, in my mind, you are
buried in cement right up to the neck.
701
00:38:37,023 --> 00:38:38,565
No, up to the nose. It's much quieter.
702
00:38:38,733 --> 00:38:40,191
(CHUCKLING)
703
00:38:43,946 --> 00:38:44,946
(COUGHS)
704
00:38:46,032 --> 00:38:47,073
When is your son...
705
00:38:48,576 --> 00:38:50,577
- What?
- Something about your son.
706
00:38:51,829 --> 00:38:54,748
- Son?
- When is your son... (CHUCKLES)
707
00:38:55,791 --> 00:38:57,459
Where is your son coming home?
708
00:39:02,757 --> 00:39:03,757
Oh.
709
00:39:04,383 --> 00:39:07,594
- Martha, when's our son coming home?
- Never mind.
710
00:39:07,762 --> 00:39:10,322
GEORGE: No, no, I want to know.
You brought it out into the open.
711
00:39:10,348 --> 00:39:11,890
When's he coming home, Martha?
712
00:39:12,433 --> 00:39:15,143
I said, never mind.
I'm sorry I brought it up.
713
00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:19,105
"Him" up, not "it." You brought him up.
Well, more or less.
714
00:39:19,357 --> 00:39:20,732
When's the little bugger going to appear?
715
00:39:20,900 --> 00:39:22,776
I mean, isn't tomorrow meant to be
his birthday or something?
716
00:39:22,943 --> 00:39:24,486
I don't want to talk about it.
717
00:39:24,904 --> 00:39:27,144
- GEORGE: But, Martha...
- I don't want to talk about it.
718
00:39:27,281 --> 00:39:30,075
I bet you don't.
Martha doesn't wanna talk about it. Him.
719
00:39:30,284 --> 00:39:33,286
Martha is sorry she brought it up. Him.
720
00:39:33,496 --> 00:39:35,455
When's the little bugger coming home?
721
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:37,290
(CHUCKLING)
722
00:39:37,541 --> 00:39:39,793
Yes, Martha, now that you've had
the bad taste to bring the matter up
723
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,241
in the first place,
when is the little bugger coming home?
724
00:39:42,296 --> 00:39:45,590
George talks disparagingly
about the little bugger because...
725
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:47,926
Well, because he has problems.
726
00:39:48,094 --> 00:39:49,135
The little bugger's got problems?
727
00:39:49,303 --> 00:39:50,470
What problems has the little bugger got?
728
00:39:50,638 --> 00:39:53,181
Not the little bugger.
Stop calling him that!
729
00:39:53,349 --> 00:39:55,308
You. You've got problems.
730
00:39:56,310 --> 00:39:58,311
Never heard of anything more ridiculous
in my life.
731
00:39:58,604 --> 00:40:01,064
- Neither have I.
- Honey...
732
00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:03,817
George's biggest problem
about the little...
733
00:40:04,068 --> 00:40:06,736
About our son. About our great big son
734
00:40:06,946 --> 00:40:09,155
is that deep down
in the private most pit of his gut
735
00:40:09,323 --> 00:40:12,951
he is not completely sure
that it's his own kid.
736
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:15,036
My God, you're a wicked woman.
737
00:40:15,246 --> 00:40:18,873
And I told you a million times, baby,
I wouldn't conceive with anyone else.
738
00:40:19,083 --> 00:40:21,543
- You know that, baby.
- A deeply wicked person.
739
00:40:21,710 --> 00:40:25,422
- Oh, my, my, my.
- I'm not sure that this is a subject for...
740
00:40:25,589 --> 00:40:26,714
Martha's lying.
741
00:40:26,882 --> 00:40:30,135
I want you to know that right now.
Martha is lying.
742
00:40:30,302 --> 00:40:32,462
There are very few things that
I am certain of anymore.
743
00:40:32,513 --> 00:40:35,765
But the one thing, the one thing in this
whole, sinking world that I am sure of
744
00:40:35,975 --> 00:40:39,352
is my partnership,
my chromosomological partnership
745
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:43,731
in the creation of our blond-eyed,
blue-haired son.
746
00:40:43,899 --> 00:40:46,234
Oh, I'm so glad.
747
00:40:47,194 --> 00:40:50,530
- That was a very pretty speech, George.
- Thank you, Martha.
748
00:40:50,698 --> 00:40:54,159
You rose to the occasion good. Real good.
749
00:40:54,326 --> 00:40:56,369
- HONEY: Well. Real well.
- Honey.
750
00:40:56,537 --> 00:40:58,913
- Martha knows. Martha knows better.
- That's right.
751
00:40:59,081 --> 00:41:01,666
I've been to college like everybody else.
752
00:41:02,084 --> 00:41:05,753
George, our son does not have blue hair.
753
00:41:05,963 --> 00:41:09,424
Or blue eyes for that matter.
He has green eyes like me.
754
00:41:09,592 --> 00:41:12,260
Beautiful, beautiful green eyes.
755
00:41:12,553 --> 00:41:14,053
He has blue eyes, Martha.
756
00:41:14,221 --> 00:41:16,139
- Green.
- Blue, Martha.
757
00:41:16,307 --> 00:41:18,308
- Green, you bastard.
- Tut-tut-tut.
758
00:41:18,726 --> 00:41:21,144
Tut-tut-tut yourself, you old floozy.
759
00:41:21,353 --> 00:41:23,771
He's not a floozy. (CHUCKLES)
760
00:41:23,939 --> 00:41:26,608
He can't be a floozy. You're a floozy.
761
00:41:26,817 --> 00:41:29,152
Now you just watch yourself.
762
00:41:29,403 --> 00:41:30,987
All right.
763
00:41:31,197 --> 00:41:34,324
I'd like another little nipper
of brandy, please.
764
00:41:34,533 --> 00:41:36,367
- Honey, I think you've had enough.
- GEORGE: Nonsense.
765
00:41:36,577 --> 00:41:38,745
- We're all ready, I think.
- Nonsense.
766
00:41:39,413 --> 00:41:40,580
Okay.
767
00:41:42,208 --> 00:41:46,252
George has watery blue eyes,
kind of milky-blue.
768
00:41:46,420 --> 00:41:47,587
Make up your mind, Martha.
769
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:51,716
I was giving you the benefit of the doubt.
Daddy has green eyes, too.
770
00:41:51,884 --> 00:41:54,093
He does not. He has tiny red eyes.
771
00:41:54,261 --> 00:41:57,430
Like a white mouse.
In fact, he is a white mouse.
772
00:41:57,598 --> 00:42:00,767
You wouldn't dare say that if he was here.
You're a coward.
773
00:42:00,935 --> 00:42:04,103
You know that great shock of white hair
and those little beady red eyes?
774
00:42:04,355 --> 00:42:06,773
A great big white mouse.
775
00:42:06,982 --> 00:42:11,861
George hates Daddy. Not for anything
Daddy's done to him, but for his own...
776
00:42:12,071 --> 00:42:13,112
Inadequacies?
777
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,741
That's right.
You hit it right on the snout.
778
00:42:16,909 --> 00:42:19,619
Wanna know why the SOB hates my father?
779
00:42:19,787 --> 00:42:23,164
When George first came to the
History Department about 500 years ago.
780
00:42:23,374 --> 00:42:25,041
Daddy approved of him.
781
00:42:25,209 --> 00:42:29,128
And do you wanna know what I did,
dumb cluck that I am?
782
00:42:29,547 --> 00:42:31,965
I fell for him.
783
00:42:32,132 --> 00:42:33,132
Oh, I like that.
784
00:42:33,342 --> 00:42:35,510
Yes, she did. You should have seen it.
785
00:42:35,719 --> 00:42:39,722
She'd sit outside my room at night on
the lawn and howl and claw at the turf.
786
00:42:39,890 --> 00:42:41,641
I couldn't work, and so I married her.
787
00:42:41,892 --> 00:42:43,184
(CHUCKLES)
788
00:42:43,894 --> 00:42:45,770
I actually fell for him.
789
00:42:45,980 --> 00:42:50,191
- It. That. There.
- Martha's a romantic at heart. (CHUCKLES)
790
00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:52,485
That I am.
791
00:42:54,405 --> 00:42:59,409
I actually fell for him.
And the match seemed practical, too.
792
00:42:59,577 --> 00:43:03,079
For a while Daddy really thought that
George had the stuff to take over
793
00:43:03,247 --> 00:43:05,999
when he was ready to retire.
We both thought that...
794
00:43:06,166 --> 00:43:08,293
- Stop it, Martha.
- What do you want?
795
00:43:08,460 --> 00:43:11,337
- I wouldn't go on with this if I were you.
- Oh, you wouldn't? Well, you're not.
796
00:43:11,505 --> 00:43:13,673
You've already sprung a leak
about you-know-what.
797
00:43:14,049 --> 00:43:15,300
What? What?
798
00:43:15,467 --> 00:43:17,969
About the sprout, the little bugger.
Our son.
799
00:43:18,137 --> 00:43:20,680
If you start in on this other business,
Martha, I warn you...
800
00:43:20,848 --> 00:43:22,181
I stand warned.
801
00:43:22,391 --> 00:43:23,683
NICK: Do we really
have to go through all this?
802
00:43:23,851 --> 00:43:27,103
So anyway, I married the SOB.
I had it all planned out.
803
00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:29,022
First he'd take over
the History Department,
804
00:43:29,189 --> 00:43:31,941
then when Daddy retired, he'd
take over the whole college, you know.
805
00:43:32,151 --> 00:43:35,194
That was the way it was supposed to be.
Getting angry, baby, huh?
806
00:43:35,362 --> 00:43:38,531
That was the way it was supposed to be.
All very simple.
807
00:43:38,699 --> 00:43:41,326
And Daddy thought it was a good idea, too.
For a while.
808
00:43:41,493 --> 00:43:44,412
Until he started watching
for a couple of years.
809
00:43:44,580 --> 00:43:46,372
You getting angry yet?
810
00:43:46,540 --> 00:43:48,333
Until he watched for a couple years
811
00:43:48,500 --> 00:43:51,878
and started thinking that maybe
it wasn't such a good idea after all.
812
00:43:52,046 --> 00:43:54,714
That maybe Georgie-boy
didn't have the stuff.
813
00:43:55,215 --> 00:43:56,883
That maybe he didn't have it in him.
814
00:43:57,051 --> 00:43:59,385
- Stop it, Martha.
- Like hell, I will.
815
00:43:59,595 --> 00:44:03,598
You see, George didn't have much push.
He wasn't particularly aggressive.
816
00:44:04,391 --> 00:44:06,434
In fact, he was sort of a flop.
817
00:44:07,102 --> 00:44:09,729
A great big, fat flop.
818
00:44:09,897 --> 00:44:11,439
God, I said stop it, Martha.
819
00:44:12,107 --> 00:44:16,653
I hope that was an empty bottle, George.
You can't afford to waste good liquor.
820
00:44:16,820 --> 00:44:20,782
Not on your salary.
Not on an associate professor's salary.
821
00:44:21,617 --> 00:44:24,077
So here I am, stuck with this flop,
822
00:44:24,244 --> 00:44:27,205
- this bog in the History Department...
- Go on, Martha. Go on.
823
00:44:27,373 --> 00:44:29,013
Who's married to the
president's daughter.
824
00:44:29,041 --> 00:44:30,124
Don't, Martha. Don't.
825
00:44:30,292 --> 00:44:32,210
Who's expected to be somebody.
826
00:44:32,378 --> 00:44:35,129
♪ Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Virginia Woolf, Virginia Woolf? ♪
827
00:44:35,297 --> 00:44:36,697
♪ Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf? ♪
828
00:44:36,757 --> 00:44:38,557
MARTHA: A bookworm
who's so goddamn complacent
829
00:44:38,717 --> 00:44:41,094
that he can't make anything
out of himself.
830
00:44:41,303 --> 00:44:44,889
That doesn't have the guts
to make anybody proud of him!
831
00:44:45,099 --> 00:44:47,392
♪ In the morning
Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf? ♪
832
00:44:47,601 --> 00:44:48,685
♪ Virginia Woolf, Virginia Woolf? ♪
833
00:44:48,894 --> 00:44:50,269
All right, George, stop it!
834
00:44:51,772 --> 00:44:55,024
I'm gonna be sick. I'm gonna be sick.
Sick...
835
00:44:57,027 --> 00:44:58,027
(GLASS SHATTERS)
836
00:44:58,445 --> 00:44:59,445
(HONEY RETCHES)
837
00:44:59,863 --> 00:45:01,280
MARTHA: Jesus.
838
00:45:20,592 --> 00:45:22,176
(CLANGING)
839
00:45:26,140 --> 00:45:28,641
MARTHA: She'll be all right.
I'll make some coffee.
840
00:45:29,643 --> 00:45:31,853
- You sure?
- MARTHA: She'll be okay.
841
00:45:43,699 --> 00:45:44,699
(SIGHS)
842
00:46:29,411 --> 00:46:30,953
(COUGHS)
843
00:47:40,107 --> 00:47:41,649
NICK: I'm really very sorry.
844
00:47:44,987 --> 00:47:48,239
She really shouldn't drink. She's frail.
845
00:47:51,618 --> 00:47:53,578
Slim-hipped, as you'd have it.
846
00:47:56,790 --> 00:48:00,251
GEORGE: Where's my little yum-yum?
Where's Martha?
847
00:48:01,712 --> 00:48:04,046
I think she's going to make some coffee.
848
00:48:07,426 --> 00:48:08,968
She...
849
00:48:10,053 --> 00:48:12,305
She gets sick quite easily.
850
00:48:12,514 --> 00:48:15,641
GEORGE: Martha? No, she hasn't
been sick a day in her life.
851
00:48:15,809 --> 00:48:18,019
Unless you count time
she spends in the rest home.
852
00:48:18,478 --> 00:48:20,021
No, no. My wife.
853
00:48:20,230 --> 00:48:24,400
My wife gets sick quite easily.
Your wife is Martha.
854
00:48:25,777 --> 00:48:27,028
Why, yes.
855
00:48:27,863 --> 00:48:29,030
I know.
856
00:48:30,365 --> 00:48:33,034
NICK: She doesn't really spend any time
in a rest home?
857
00:48:34,453 --> 00:48:35,620
Your wife?
858
00:48:36,163 --> 00:48:37,496
NICK: No, yours.
859
00:48:38,373 --> 00:48:39,790
Mine?
860
00:48:41,919 --> 00:48:43,336
Oh, no. No, she, uh...
861
00:48:45,172 --> 00:48:47,673
She doesn't. I would.
862
00:48:48,008 --> 00:48:49,675
I mean, if I, uh...
863
00:48:50,844 --> 00:48:52,762
If I were her... She.
864
00:48:52,971 --> 00:48:56,182
I would. But then I'm not and so I don't.
865
00:48:58,727 --> 00:49:00,019
I'd like to, though.
866
00:49:02,272 --> 00:49:04,815
It gets pretty bouncy
around here sometimes.
867
00:49:06,735 --> 00:49:07,902
NICK: Yes, I'm sure.
868
00:49:11,782 --> 00:49:14,408
- Your wife throws up a lot, huh?
- I didn't say that.
869
00:49:14,743 --> 00:49:17,036
I said she gets sick quite easily.
870
00:49:17,245 --> 00:49:18,245
Oh.
871
00:49:18,538 --> 00:49:20,338
Oh, by "sick," I thought
that you meant she...
872
00:49:20,540 --> 00:49:22,917
Well, it's true, actually.
She does throw up a lot.
873
00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:25,294
The word is "often."
874
00:49:26,338 --> 00:49:29,090
Once she starts
there's practically no stopping.
875
00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:32,677
I mean, she'll go right on for hours.
876
00:49:36,014 --> 00:49:37,306
Not all the time.
877
00:49:39,935 --> 00:49:41,560
Regularly.
878
00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:43,562
- You can tell time by her?
- Just about.
879
00:49:48,527 --> 00:49:49,860
May I...
880
00:49:51,571 --> 00:49:52,780
Oh, sure. (CLEARS THROAT)
881
00:49:57,077 --> 00:49:58,703
I married her because she was pregnant.
882
00:50:00,414 --> 00:50:01,414
Oh.
883
00:50:02,749 --> 00:50:06,252
But, uh, you said you didn't have
any children when I asked you. You said...
884
00:50:06,753 --> 00:50:11,549
She wasn't really.
It was a hysterical pregnancy.
885
00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:17,013
She blew up and then she went down.
886
00:50:17,556 --> 00:50:19,890
Uh-huh.
And when she was up, you married her?
887
00:50:22,436 --> 00:50:23,686
Then she went down.
888
00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:26,939
(BOTH LAUGHING)
889
00:50:34,156 --> 00:50:35,197
- Bourbon.
- (COUGHS)
890
00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:38,367
Bourbon.
891
00:50:39,411 --> 00:50:40,745
(COUGHING)
892
00:50:46,877 --> 00:50:48,586
When I was 16
893
00:50:50,213 --> 00:50:52,882
and going to prep school,
during the Punic Wars,
894
00:50:55,093 --> 00:50:58,137
a bunch of us used to go into town
on the first day of vacations
895
00:50:58,305 --> 00:51:00,473
before we fanned out to our homes.
896
00:51:02,976 --> 00:51:06,187
And in the evening,
this bunch of us would go to a gin mill
897
00:51:06,438 --> 00:51:09,023
owned by the gangster father of one of us
898
00:51:09,274 --> 00:51:13,736
and we would drink with the grownups
and listen to the jazz.
899
00:51:15,405 --> 00:51:17,323
And one time, in the bunch of us
900
00:51:17,532 --> 00:51:21,535
there was this boy who was 15,
901
00:51:23,038 --> 00:51:27,208
and he had killed his mother
with a shotgun some years before.
902
00:51:28,752 --> 00:51:32,797
Accidentally. Completely accidentally
without even an unconscious motivation,
903
00:51:33,006 --> 00:51:35,007
I have no doubt. No doubt at all.
904
00:51:36,343 --> 00:51:41,430
And this one time, this boy went with us
and we ordered our drinks.
905
00:51:42,974 --> 00:51:47,103
And when it came his turn, he said,
"I'll have 'bergin.'
906
00:51:48,730 --> 00:51:53,025
"Give me some bergin, please.
Bergin and water."
907
00:51:56,238 --> 00:51:57,530
And we all laughed.
908
00:51:58,782 --> 00:52:03,410
He was blond and he had the face
of a cherub, and we all laughed.
909
00:52:04,871 --> 00:52:08,541
And his cheeks went red,
and the color rose in his neck.
910
00:52:09,084 --> 00:52:12,044
The waiter who'd taken our order
told people at the next table
911
00:52:12,212 --> 00:52:14,213
what the boy had said
and then they laughed,
912
00:52:14,381 --> 00:52:16,882
and then more people were told
and the laughter grew,
913
00:52:17,050 --> 00:52:19,176
and more people, and more laughter.
914
00:52:21,721 --> 00:52:26,183
And (SIGHS) no one
was laughing more than us
915
00:52:26,351 --> 00:52:31,063
and none of us more than
the boy who had shot his mother.
916
00:52:33,525 --> 00:52:37,486
Soon everyone in the gin mill
knew what the laughter was about
917
00:52:37,654 --> 00:52:42,616
and everyone started ordering bergin
and laughing when they ordered it.
918
00:52:43,660 --> 00:52:47,163
Soon, of course,
the laughter became less general,
919
00:52:47,330 --> 00:52:51,542
but did not subside entirely
for a very long time.
920
00:52:51,710 --> 00:52:56,922
For always at this table or that
someone would order bergin
921
00:52:58,216 --> 00:53:01,343
and a whole new area
of laughter would rise.
922
00:53:04,055 --> 00:53:05,347
We drank free that night.
923
00:53:06,683 --> 00:53:09,059
And we were bought champagne
by the management.
924
00:53:09,227 --> 00:53:12,521
By the gangster father of one of us.
925
00:53:14,608 --> 00:53:18,611
And, of course, we suffered next day,
926
00:53:18,778 --> 00:53:23,699
each of us alone,
on his train away from the city
927
00:53:23,867 --> 00:53:28,412
and each of us with a grownup's hangover.
928
00:53:30,957 --> 00:53:33,334
But it was the grandest day
929
00:53:34,252 --> 00:53:35,586
of my
930
00:53:37,297 --> 00:53:38,505
youth.
931
00:53:48,558 --> 00:53:49,918
(WHISPERS) What... (CLEARS THROAT)
932
00:53:50,769 --> 00:53:51,894
What happened to the boy?
933
00:53:55,190 --> 00:53:56,470
The boy who had shot his mother.
934
00:53:59,194 --> 00:54:00,778
I won't tell you.
935
00:54:01,905 --> 00:54:03,113
All right.
936
00:54:03,531 --> 00:54:06,992
The following summer on a country road,
with his learner's permit in his pocket
937
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:09,286
and his father on the front seat
to his right,
938
00:54:09,496 --> 00:54:12,873
he swerved the car to avoid a porcupine
939
00:54:13,083 --> 00:54:15,626
and drove straight into a large tree.
940
00:54:18,421 --> 00:54:19,755
He was not killed, of course.
941
00:54:21,049 --> 00:54:24,551
In the hospital, when he was
conscious and out of danger
942
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:28,847
and when they told him
his father was dead,
943
00:54:29,015 --> 00:54:32,017
he began to laugh, I have been told.
944
00:54:33,561 --> 00:54:36,897
His laughter grew and would not stop.
945
00:54:39,025 --> 00:54:41,860
And it was not until after
they jammed a needle in his arm,
946
00:54:42,028 --> 00:54:43,153
not until after that,
947
00:54:43,321 --> 00:54:46,532
not until his consciousness
had slipped away from him
948
00:54:46,700 --> 00:54:51,161
that his laughter subsided and stopped.
949
00:54:53,623 --> 00:54:55,874
And when he was recovered
from his injuries enough
950
00:54:56,042 --> 00:55:01,505
so he could be moved without damage
should he struggle,
951
00:55:03,383 --> 00:55:04,883
he was put in an asylum.
952
00:55:08,722 --> 00:55:10,097
That was 30 years ago.
953
00:55:11,975 --> 00:55:13,225
Is he still there?
954
00:55:15,645 --> 00:55:17,062
Oh, yes.
955
00:55:18,273 --> 00:55:20,566
I'm told that for these 30 years
956
00:55:22,110 --> 00:55:24,361
he has not uttered
957
00:55:25,655 --> 00:55:28,365
one sound.
958
00:55:45,675 --> 00:55:47,259
(CLATTERING)
959
00:55:50,597 --> 00:55:51,847
GEORGE: Must be Martha.
960
00:55:52,599 --> 00:55:54,099
She's making coffee.
961
00:55:55,602 --> 00:55:59,938
For your hysterical wife,
who goes up and down.
962
00:56:00,106 --> 00:56:02,441
Went up and down.
963
00:56:03,568 --> 00:56:05,694
Oh, went? And no more?
964
00:56:06,488 --> 00:56:08,739
No more. Nothing.
965
00:56:11,159 --> 00:56:13,243
Martha doesn't have
hysterical pregnancies.
966
00:56:14,662 --> 00:56:16,121
My wife had one.
967
00:56:16,790 --> 00:56:18,832
Martha doesn't have pregnancies at all.
968
00:56:22,962 --> 00:56:25,798
Do you have any other kids?
Do you have any daughters or anything?
969
00:56:27,967 --> 00:56:29,802
Do we have any (CHUCKLES) what?
970
00:56:30,011 --> 00:56:31,678
Do you have any...
971
00:56:33,223 --> 00:56:37,142
I mean, do you only have the one, uh, kid,
your son?
972
00:56:39,187 --> 00:56:41,313
Oh, no, no, just one.
973
00:56:43,066 --> 00:56:44,775
One boy. (CHUCKLES)
974
00:56:45,819 --> 00:56:46,902
Our son.
975
00:56:48,863 --> 00:56:50,280
Well...
976
00:56:52,409 --> 00:56:53,617
That's nice.
977
00:56:54,035 --> 00:56:58,122
Yeah, well, he's a comfort.
978
00:57:00,208 --> 00:57:01,417
He's a beanbag.
979
00:57:04,462 --> 00:57:05,587
A what?
980
00:57:05,797 --> 00:57:07,673
Beanbag. Beanbag. You wouldn't understand.
981
00:57:09,968 --> 00:57:11,677
A beanbag!
982
00:57:11,886 --> 00:57:15,264
I heard you. I didn't say I was deaf,
I said I didn't understand.
983
00:57:15,473 --> 00:57:16,598
You didn't say that at all.
984
00:57:16,808 --> 00:57:19,601
I meant I was implying
I didn't understand.
985
00:57:21,729 --> 00:57:23,439
- Christ sake.
- You're getting testy.
986
00:57:23,606 --> 00:57:25,482
- I'm sorry.
- All I said was that our son,
987
00:57:25,692 --> 00:57:28,861
the apple of our three eyes,
Martha being a Cyclops...
988
00:57:29,070 --> 00:57:31,196
Our son is a beanbag, and you get testy.
989
00:57:31,364 --> 00:57:34,825
I'm sorry, it's late. I'm tired.
I've been drinking since 9:00.
990
00:57:35,034 --> 00:57:36,285
My wife is vomiting.
991
00:57:36,536 --> 00:57:38,370
There's been a lot of screaming
going on around here.
992
00:57:38,538 --> 00:57:40,914
So you get testy, naturally.
Don't worry about it.
993
00:57:41,166 --> 00:57:43,526
Anybody who comes here
ends up getting testy. It's expected.
994
00:57:43,668 --> 00:57:45,377
- Don't be upset.
- I'm not upset.
995
00:57:45,545 --> 00:57:47,254
- You're testy.
- Yes.
996
00:57:51,134 --> 00:57:55,679
I'd like to set you straight
about something while we're out here.
997
00:57:55,889 --> 00:57:57,848
If I could set you straight
about something Martha said.
998
00:57:58,057 --> 00:57:59,183
MARTHA: Hey!
999
00:57:59,642 --> 00:58:02,060
- Hark. Forest sounds.
- Hmm?
1000
00:58:02,562 --> 00:58:03,729
Animal noises.
1001
00:58:03,938 --> 00:58:05,564
MARTHA: Hey!
1002
00:58:06,065 --> 00:58:08,233
(CHUCKLES) Well, here's nursie.
1003
00:58:09,444 --> 00:58:11,695
MARTHA: We're sitting up.
We're having coffee.
1004
00:58:13,364 --> 00:58:15,324
NICK: Is there anything I should do?
1005
00:58:15,492 --> 00:58:19,953
MARTHA: No, you just stay there
and listen to Georgie's side of things.
1006
00:58:20,538 --> 00:58:22,331
Bore yourself to death.
1007
00:58:22,499 --> 00:58:24,958
You clean up the mess
you made in here, George?
1008
00:58:25,168 --> 00:58:28,337
GEORGE: No, Martha,
I did not clean up the mess I made.
1009
00:58:29,881 --> 00:58:32,674
I've been trying for years
to clean up the mess I made.
1010
00:58:33,927 --> 00:58:35,511
Have you been trying for years?
1011
00:58:35,678 --> 00:58:38,263
Accommodation, adjustment.
1012
00:58:38,431 --> 00:58:40,724
Those do seem to be
in the order of things, don't they?
1013
00:58:40,934 --> 00:58:42,935
Don't try to put me in the same class
with you.
1014
00:58:43,102 --> 00:58:46,730
No? No, of course not.
I mean, things are simpler for you.
1015
00:58:48,024 --> 00:58:50,150
You marry a woman
because she's all blown up.
1016
00:58:50,318 --> 00:58:52,903
Whereas I, in my clumsy,
old-fashioned way...
1017
00:58:53,071 --> 00:58:55,948
- There was more to it than that.
- Sure. Sure.
1018
00:58:56,115 --> 00:58:57,366
I bet she has money, too.
1019
00:59:00,787 --> 00:59:01,870
Yes.
1020
00:59:03,331 --> 00:59:04,456
Yes?
1021
00:59:05,500 --> 00:59:06,625
(CHUCKLES) Yes?
1022
00:59:07,627 --> 00:59:09,586
- You mean I was right? I hit it?
- Well...
1023
00:59:09,754 --> 00:59:13,924
My God, what archery. First try, too.
How about that?
1024
00:59:14,133 --> 00:59:16,343
- You see...
- There were other things.
1025
00:59:16,553 --> 00:59:18,637
- Yes.
- To compensate.
1026
00:59:18,805 --> 00:59:22,140
- Yes.
- There always are. There always are.
1027
00:59:22,809 --> 00:59:23,976
Allow me.
1028
00:59:26,104 --> 00:59:29,815
Tell me about your wife's money.
1029
00:59:32,652 --> 00:59:34,861
- No.
- Okay, don't.
1030
00:59:39,492 --> 00:59:42,327
My father-in-law was a man of the Lord.
1031
00:59:43,246 --> 00:59:45,205
And he was very rich.
1032
00:59:45,540 --> 00:59:47,499
- What faith?
- He, um...
1033
00:59:49,002 --> 00:59:51,503
My father-in-law
1034
00:59:51,713 --> 00:59:54,506
was called by God
when he was six or something.
1035
00:59:56,509 --> 01:00:00,512
And he started preaching, and he
baptized people, and he saved them
1036
01:00:03,057 --> 01:00:06,977
and he traveled around a lot and
he became pretty famous.
1037
01:00:08,313 --> 01:00:09,813
Not like some of them
1038
01:00:11,524 --> 01:00:13,025
but pretty famous.
1039
01:00:16,362 --> 01:00:18,864
And when he died, he had a lot of money.
1040
01:00:20,199 --> 01:00:22,451
- God's money?
- No, his own.
1041
01:00:23,786 --> 01:00:25,996
- What happened to God's money?
- He spent God's money
1042
01:00:26,205 --> 01:00:28,665
- and he saved his own.
- (CHUCKLES)
1043
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:30,459
Well, I think that's very nice.
1044
01:00:33,546 --> 01:00:38,759
Martha has money because
Martha's father's second wife...
1045
01:00:38,926 --> 01:00:41,678
Not Martha's mother,
but after Martha's mother died.
1046
01:00:42,388 --> 01:00:47,267
Was a very old lady
who had warts, who was very rich.
1047
01:00:47,644 --> 01:00:49,603
(CHUCKLES) She was a witch.
1048
01:00:49,812 --> 01:00:50,896
(BOTH LAUGH)
1049
01:00:51,397 --> 01:00:55,651
She was a good witch, and she married
the white mouse with the tiny red eyes
1050
01:00:56,819 --> 01:01:00,864
and he must have nibbled her warts
or something like that
1051
01:01:01,699 --> 01:01:04,993
because she went up in a
puff of smoke almost immediately.
1052
01:01:05,244 --> 01:01:07,579
- Poof, poof! (LAUGHS)
- Poof! (LAUGHS)
1053
01:01:08,206 --> 01:01:11,708
And all that was left,
apart from some wart medicine
1054
01:01:11,876 --> 01:01:14,836
- was a big fat will.
- Oh.
1055
01:01:15,129 --> 01:01:18,090
Maybe... (LAUGHING)
1056
01:01:19,676 --> 01:01:22,552
Maybe my father-in-law
1057
01:01:22,720 --> 01:01:26,056
and the witch with the warts
should have gotten together.
1058
01:01:27,517 --> 01:01:29,518
Because he was a mouse, too.
1059
01:01:31,145 --> 01:01:33,188
- He was?
- Sure. Sure.
1060
01:01:35,692 --> 01:01:37,317
He was a church mouse.
1061
01:01:37,694 --> 01:01:39,236
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1062
01:01:54,544 --> 01:01:56,461
Your wife never mentioned a stepmother.
1063
01:01:57,714 --> 01:01:58,880
Well, maybe it isn't true.
1064
01:02:01,259 --> 01:02:04,344
You realize that I've been
drawing you out on this stuff
1065
01:02:04,512 --> 01:02:08,640
because you represent a direct threat to
me and I want to get the goods on you.
1066
01:02:08,808 --> 01:02:09,975
Sure, sure.
1067
01:02:10,143 --> 01:02:12,310
Well, I mean, I've warned you.
You stand warned.
1068
01:02:12,478 --> 01:02:14,354
I stand warned.
1069
01:02:16,733 --> 01:02:19,568
You sneaky types worry me the most,
you know.
1070
01:02:19,736 --> 01:02:22,779
You ineffectual sons of bitches,
you're the worst.
1071
01:02:23,489 --> 01:02:26,825
I'm glad you don't believe me.
After all, you got history on your side.
1072
01:02:27,118 --> 01:02:28,118
Uh-huh.
1073
01:02:28,369 --> 01:02:32,122
You got history on your side.
I got biology on mine.
1074
01:02:32,331 --> 01:02:34,166
History. Biology.
1075
01:02:34,375 --> 01:02:36,460
- I know the difference.
- You don't act it.
1076
01:02:36,669 --> 01:02:39,588
No, I thought we decided you'd take over
the History Department first,
1077
01:02:39,839 --> 01:02:41,319
before you take over the whole works.
1078
01:02:41,507 --> 01:02:42,674
You know, one step at a time.
1079
01:02:44,302 --> 01:02:50,724
No. What I thought I'd do is I sort of
insinuate myself generally, you know.
1080
01:02:50,975 --> 01:02:53,351
- Find all the weak spots.
- Mmm-hmm.
1081
01:02:53,811 --> 01:02:54,936
Like me.
1082
01:02:55,605 --> 01:02:59,524
Become sort of a fact
and then (CLEARS THROAT) turn into a...
1083
01:03:02,028 --> 01:03:03,195
A what?
1084
01:03:03,362 --> 01:03:04,863
An inevitability?
1085
01:03:05,072 --> 01:03:08,283
Exactly. An inevitability.
1086
01:03:09,118 --> 01:03:11,620
Take over a few courses
from the older men.
1087
01:03:12,288 --> 01:03:13,288
Uh...
1088
01:03:14,665 --> 01:03:16,416
Plow a few pertinent wives.
1089
01:03:16,626 --> 01:03:18,043
Now that's it.
1090
01:03:19,086 --> 01:03:20,921
I mean, you can shove aside
all the older men you can find,
1091
01:03:21,172 --> 01:03:24,674
but until you start plowing pertinent
wives you're really not working.
1092
01:03:24,884 --> 01:03:27,093
That's the way to power. Plow them all.
1093
01:03:27,470 --> 01:03:29,596
(LAUGHING) Yeah.
1094
01:03:30,306 --> 01:03:31,723
The way to a man's heart,
1095
01:03:31,974 --> 01:03:35,852
the wide, inviting avenue to his job
is through his wife,
1096
01:03:36,062 --> 01:03:37,354
and don't you forget it.
1097
01:03:37,647 --> 01:03:40,816
And I'll bet your wife's got the
widest, most inviting avenue
1098
01:03:41,025 --> 01:03:42,442
on the whole damn campus.
1099
01:03:42,610 --> 01:03:43,610
(LAUGHS)
1100
01:03:46,447 --> 01:03:48,740
No, I mean,
her father being president and all.
1101
01:03:49,075 --> 01:03:52,410
(CHUCKLES) You bet
your historical inevitability.
1102
01:03:53,246 --> 01:03:56,164
Yessiree, I just better get her off
into the bushes right away.
1103
01:03:56,374 --> 01:03:58,291
Why, you'd certainly better.
1104
01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:02,546
You know, I almost think you're serious.
1105
01:04:03,339 --> 01:04:06,424
No, baby, you almost think you're serious
and it scares the hell out of you.
1106
01:04:07,093 --> 01:04:08,927
- Me?
- Yes, you.
1107
01:04:09,095 --> 01:04:10,345
You're kidding.
1108
01:04:10,555 --> 01:04:14,266
I wish I were. I'll give you some
good advice if you want me to.
1109
01:04:14,559 --> 01:04:16,977
Good advice? From you? Oh, boy.
1110
01:04:17,228 --> 01:04:20,063
You haven't learned yet.
Take it wherever you can get it.
1111
01:04:20,273 --> 01:04:22,315
- Listen to me now.
- Come off it.
1112
01:04:22,567 --> 01:04:25,610
- I'm giving you good advice now.
- Good God.
1113
01:04:26,153 --> 01:04:29,322
There's quicksand here and you'll be
dragged down before you know it.
1114
01:04:30,032 --> 01:04:31,825
- Sucked down.
- Oh.
1115
01:04:32,410 --> 01:04:35,996
You disgust me on principle, and you're
a smug son of a bitch, personally,
1116
01:04:36,163 --> 01:04:39,791
but I'm trying to give you a survival kit.
Do you hear me?
1117
01:04:39,959 --> 01:04:41,918
I hear you. You come in loud.
1118
01:04:42,128 --> 01:04:44,296
All right.
You want to play it by ear, right?
1119
01:04:44,463 --> 01:04:48,008
Everything's gonna work out anyway
because the timetable's history, right?
1120
01:04:48,259 --> 01:04:51,303
Right, right. You just tend to your
knitting, grandma. I'll be okay.
1121
01:04:51,554 --> 01:04:53,096
I've tried to...
1122
01:04:54,265 --> 01:04:55,599
Tried to reach you, to...
1123
01:04:55,808 --> 01:04:58,018
- Make contact?
- Yes.
1124
01:04:58,269 --> 01:05:00,353
- Communicate?
- Yes, exactly.
1125
01:05:01,063 --> 01:05:05,317
Oh, that's touching. That's downright
moving, that's what that is.
1126
01:05:05,651 --> 01:05:06,860
Up yours.
1127
01:05:07,028 --> 01:05:09,195
- What?
- You heard me.
1128
01:05:10,781 --> 01:05:12,449
Honey?
1129
01:05:15,578 --> 01:05:16,786
Honey?
1130
01:05:17,580 --> 01:05:19,873
Take the trouble
to construct a civilization,
1131
01:05:20,082 --> 01:05:24,169
to build a society based on
the principles of, uh...
1132
01:05:24,378 --> 01:05:25,629
- Of principle.
- Honey?
1133
01:05:25,796 --> 01:05:29,674
You make government and art and realize
that they are, must be, both the same.
1134
01:05:29,842 --> 01:05:32,010
You bring things
to the saddest of all points.
1135
01:05:32,178 --> 01:05:34,930
To the point
where there is something to lose.
1136
01:05:35,097 --> 01:05:37,390
Then all at once, through all the music,
1137
01:05:37,558 --> 01:05:40,185
through all the sensible sounds
of men building,
1138
01:05:40,353 --> 01:05:42,687
attempting, comes the Dies Irae.
1139
01:05:43,022 --> 01:05:45,523
And what is it?
What does the trumpet sound?
1140
01:05:46,442 --> 01:05:47,525
Up yours.
1141
01:05:47,902 --> 01:05:49,027
Oh. (LAUGHS)
1142
01:05:49,528 --> 01:05:51,279
Bravo. (LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
1143
01:05:51,530 --> 01:05:53,907
Thank you. Thank you.
1144
01:05:54,116 --> 01:05:57,369
Here we are.
A little shaky, but on our feet.
1145
01:05:57,536 --> 01:05:59,576
- It wasn't too bad, really.
- Here. Just put this on.
1146
01:05:59,622 --> 01:06:02,624
- I'm not cold.
- Just put it on, we're leaving.
1147
01:06:02,792 --> 01:06:04,709
- You're what?
- We're leaving, going home.
1148
01:06:05,461 --> 01:06:07,754
Wait a minute, what's been going on here?
1149
01:06:07,922 --> 01:06:09,882
- What have you been up to?
- I'll go get the car.
1150
01:06:10,007 --> 01:06:11,591
- You don't have to. I'll call a cab.
- I insist.
1151
01:06:11,759 --> 01:06:13,301
- George.
- Yes, love?
1152
01:06:13,469 --> 01:06:15,303
Just what the hell
do you think you're doing?
1153
01:06:15,471 --> 01:06:17,889
Now, let me see.
I think what I'm doing is,
1154
01:06:18,099 --> 01:06:22,394
I'm getting the car to take
our little guests home.
1155
01:06:24,563 --> 01:06:25,855
(TIRES SCREECH)
1156
01:06:26,107 --> 01:06:27,107
Oh.
1157
01:06:28,901 --> 01:06:29,901
(SIGHS)
1158
01:06:30,152 --> 01:06:31,152
(CLEARS THROAT)
1159
01:06:33,030 --> 01:06:34,823
Well, aren't you going to apologize?
1160
01:06:35,074 --> 01:06:36,574
It wasn't my fault,
the road should've been straight.
1161
01:06:36,784 --> 01:06:38,952
Not that. For making her throw up.
1162
01:06:39,203 --> 01:06:41,403
- I did not make her throw up.
- You most certainly did.
1163
01:06:41,539 --> 01:06:44,332
- I did not.
- Who do you think did, sexy back there?
1164
01:06:44,542 --> 01:06:45,982
You think he made his own wife sick?
1165
01:06:46,043 --> 01:06:48,253
- Well, you make me sick.
- That's different.
1166
01:06:48,421 --> 01:06:50,547
No, now, please. I throw up.
1167
01:06:50,756 --> 01:06:54,092
I get sick occasionally all by myself,
without any reason.
1168
01:06:54,260 --> 01:06:56,678
- Is that a fact?
- You're delicate, honey.
1169
01:06:56,887 --> 01:06:58,263
I've always done it.
1170
01:06:58,472 --> 01:07:00,598
- Like Big Ben, huh?
- Just watch it.
1171
01:07:01,308 --> 01:07:02,600
George makes everybody sick.
1172
01:07:02,768 --> 01:07:04,968
- Why, when our son was a little boy...
- Don't, Martha.
1173
01:07:05,062 --> 01:07:06,771
He used to throw up all the time
because of George.
1174
01:07:06,939 --> 01:07:08,148
I said don't, Martha.
1175
01:07:08,315 --> 01:07:12,610
It got so bad that whenever George came
into a room, he'd start right in retching.
1176
01:07:12,778 --> 01:07:15,739
The real reason why our son used to
throw up all the time, wife and lover,
1177
01:07:15,906 --> 01:07:17,824
was because he couldn't stand you
fiddling at him all the time.
1178
01:07:17,992 --> 01:07:20,618
Breaking into his bedroom,
your kimono flying, fiddling.
1179
01:07:20,786 --> 01:07:24,330
Yeah, and I suppose that's why he ran away
from home twice in one month.
1180
01:07:24,540 --> 01:07:27,959
Twice in one month. Six times in one year.
1181
01:07:28,127 --> 01:07:31,247
Our son ran away from home all the time
because Martha here used to corner him.
1182
01:07:31,422 --> 01:07:34,549
I never cornered
the son of a bitch in my life.
1183
01:07:34,884 --> 01:07:36,844
He used to run up to me
when I'd get home and say,
1184
01:07:36,969 --> 01:07:38,636
"Mama's always coming at me."
That's what he'd say.
1185
01:07:38,846 --> 01:07:41,014
- Liar. Liar!
- That's the way it was.
1186
01:07:41,223 --> 01:07:43,783
She was always coming at him.
I thought it was very embarrassing.
1187
01:07:43,851 --> 01:07:46,731
If you thought it was so embarrassing,
what are you talking about it for?
1188
01:07:46,937 --> 01:07:49,064
- Thank you.
- I didn't want to talk about it at all.
1189
01:07:50,316 --> 01:07:53,985
Oh, I wish I had some brandy.
I love brandy, I really do.
1190
01:07:54,195 --> 01:07:56,279
- Good for you.
- It steadies me so.
1191
01:07:56,447 --> 01:07:58,740
I used to drink brandy.
1192
01:07:58,908 --> 01:08:00,450
You used to drink bergin, too.
1193
01:08:00,659 --> 01:08:02,494
- Shut up, Martha.
- (TIRES SCREECHING)
1194
01:08:04,830 --> 01:08:06,414
- What?
- Nothing, nothing.
1195
01:08:07,917 --> 01:08:10,335
- Did he tell you about that?
- NICK: Well...
1196
01:08:10,669 --> 01:08:13,421
- Come on, he must have said something.
- Actually, what we did is
1197
01:08:13,631 --> 01:08:15,882
we sort of, uh, danced around a little.
1198
01:08:16,175 --> 01:08:18,468
Oh, I love dancing. I really do.
1199
01:08:18,677 --> 01:08:21,846
- He didn't mean that.
- Well, I didn't think that he did.
1200
01:08:22,014 --> 01:08:25,183
Two grown men dancing. Heavens.
1201
01:08:25,351 --> 01:08:27,751
You mean he didn't start in on how
he tried to publish a book
1202
01:08:27,895 --> 01:08:29,312
and Daddy wouldn't let him?
1203
01:08:29,605 --> 01:08:31,189
- Please, Martha.
- A book? What book?
1204
01:08:31,357 --> 01:08:33,650
- Please, just a book.
- Just a book? (LAUGHS)
1205
01:08:34,193 --> 01:08:35,735
Oh, look, dancing.
1206
01:08:36,237 --> 01:08:38,037
Oh, Why don't we dance?
I'd love some dancing.
1207
01:08:38,114 --> 01:08:39,864
Honey, Honey. We're almost home.
1208
01:08:40,032 --> 01:08:41,533
I want some dancing.
1209
01:08:41,742 --> 01:08:44,536
- That's not such a bad idea.
- I love dancing, don't you?
1210
01:08:44,745 --> 01:08:48,039
- With the right man, yeah.
- I dance like the wind.
1211
01:08:49,458 --> 01:08:51,876
- Stop the car. We're going dancing.
- Martha.
1212
01:08:52,044 --> 01:08:54,087
- For heaven's sakes.
- Did you hear me?
1213
01:08:55,131 --> 01:08:56,891
(SIGHS) All right, love.
Whatever love wants.
1214
01:08:57,675 --> 01:08:59,134
(HUMMING)
1215
01:09:03,472 --> 01:09:05,473
♪ I dance like the wind ♪
1216
01:09:06,892 --> 01:09:08,434
Well, put one on, will you?
1217
01:09:09,562 --> 01:09:12,188
Yes, love. How are we gonna
work this, mixed doubles?
1218
01:09:12,648 --> 01:09:14,568
You don't think I'm gonna dance with you,
do you?
1219
01:09:14,608 --> 01:09:17,768
No, not with him around, that's for sure.
And not with twinkle-toes here either.
1220
01:09:17,903 --> 01:09:21,948
♪ I'll dance with anyone
I'll dance by myself ♪
1221
01:09:22,575 --> 01:09:25,410
- Honey, you'll get sick again.
- I dance like the wind.
1222
01:09:26,203 --> 01:09:27,412
(SCREAMS)
1223
01:09:27,621 --> 01:09:29,080
♪ Wonderful ♪
1224
01:09:31,083 --> 01:09:33,293
All right, kiddies,
choose up and hit the sack.
1225
01:09:33,544 --> 01:09:34,584
♪ (MUSIC STARTS PLAYING) ♪
1226
01:09:34,753 --> 01:09:37,255
All right, George, cut that out.
1227
01:09:41,719 --> 01:09:43,970
- Honey.
- Cut it out, George!
1228
01:09:44,597 --> 01:09:45,680
What, Martha? What?
1229
01:09:46,891 --> 01:09:49,091
- (MUSIC STOPS PLAYING)
- All right, you son of a bitch!
1230
01:09:49,185 --> 01:09:50,894
- What'd you say, love?
- It stopped.
1231
01:09:51,061 --> 01:09:52,353
Why did it stop?
1232
01:09:52,938 --> 01:09:54,355
MARTHA: Give me some change.
GEORGE: What?
1233
01:09:54,523 --> 01:09:56,858
MARTHA: I said give me some change.
GEORGE: No.
1234
01:09:57,067 --> 01:09:59,444
Honey. Honey. Honey.
1235
01:09:59,612 --> 01:10:00,778
Stop that!
1236
01:10:00,946 --> 01:10:03,281
You are always at me
when I'm having a good time!
1237
01:10:03,449 --> 01:10:05,533
- I'm sorry, Honey.
- Just leave me alone.
1238
01:10:05,701 --> 01:10:07,952
I like to dance and you don't want me to.
1239
01:10:08,162 --> 01:10:10,622
- I would like you to dance.
- Just leave me alone!
1240
01:10:15,461 --> 01:10:17,462
Choose it, Martha. Do your stuff.
1241
01:10:17,630 --> 01:10:19,130
You're damn right.
1242
01:10:19,465 --> 01:10:20,798
Hi, sexy.
1243
01:10:21,258 --> 01:10:22,634
You wanna dance, angel boobs?
1244
01:10:22,885 --> 01:10:23,885
♪ (MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
1245
01:10:24,136 --> 01:10:26,846
- What'd you call my wife?
- Oh, boy.
1246
01:10:27,014 --> 01:10:31,142
No, if I can't do my interpretive dance,
I don't wanna dance at all.
1247
01:10:31,310 --> 01:10:33,061
I'll just sit here.
1248
01:10:33,229 --> 01:10:35,104
Okay, stuff, let's go.
1249
01:10:39,526 --> 01:10:42,570
- We'll just sit here and watch.
- That's right.
1250
01:10:45,366 --> 01:10:46,991
- Hi.
- Hi.
1251
01:10:54,250 --> 01:10:57,377
- Mmm, you are strong, aren't you?
- Uh-huh.
1252
01:10:57,586 --> 01:10:59,003
I like that.
1253
01:11:00,172 --> 01:11:02,006
They're dancing
like they've danced before.
1254
01:11:02,174 --> 01:11:05,301
It's a familiar dance, Monkey Nipples,
they both know it.
1255
01:11:05,469 --> 01:11:07,595
I don't know what you mean.
1256
01:11:10,057 --> 01:11:12,850
- I like the way you move.
- I like the way you move, too.
1257
01:11:13,018 --> 01:11:15,144
- They like the way they move.
- That's nice.
1258
01:11:17,356 --> 01:11:21,317
I'm surprised George didn't tell you
his side of things.
1259
01:11:21,485 --> 01:11:23,820
- Well, he didn't.
- (GASPS) That surprises me.
1260
01:11:23,988 --> 01:11:25,780
- Does it?
- GEORGE: Aren't they cute?
1261
01:11:25,948 --> 01:11:27,824
He usually does when he gets the chance.
1262
01:11:27,992 --> 01:11:29,492
I don't think he trusts me.
1263
01:11:29,660 --> 01:11:33,788
It's really a very sad story.
1264
01:11:33,956 --> 01:11:37,875
- Is it?
- Oh, it would make you weep.
1265
01:11:38,168 --> 01:11:40,211
GEORGE: You have ugly talents, Martha.
1266
01:11:40,462 --> 01:11:41,879
Is that so?
1267
01:11:43,048 --> 01:11:44,132
Don't encourage her.
1268
01:11:44,508 --> 01:11:45,967
- Encourage me.
- Go on.
1269
01:11:46,135 --> 01:11:47,802
I warned you, don't encourage her.
1270
01:11:48,012 --> 01:11:49,512
He warned you.
1271
01:11:50,180 --> 01:11:52,390
- Don't encourage me.
- I heard him.
1272
01:11:52,558 --> 01:11:54,142
Tell me more.
1273
01:11:54,893 --> 01:11:56,561
Well,
1274
01:11:58,230 --> 01:12:04,152
Georgie-boy had lots of big ambitions
in spite of something funny in his past
1275
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:07,363
which Georgie-boy here
turned into a novel.
1276
01:12:07,531 --> 01:12:10,867
His first attempt and also his last.
1277
01:12:11,035 --> 01:12:15,872
- Hey, I rhymed. I rhymed. (LAUGHS)
- Yeah, yeah, you rhymed. Go on.
1278
01:12:16,040 --> 01:12:17,248
I warn you, Martha.
1279
01:12:17,875 --> 01:12:21,961
But Daddy took a look at Georgie's novel.
1280
01:12:22,129 --> 01:12:24,088
You're looking for a punch in the mouth,
you know that Martha?
1281
01:12:24,256 --> 01:12:25,548
Do tell.
1282
01:12:25,883 --> 01:12:28,384
And he was very shocked by what he read.
1283
01:12:28,552 --> 01:12:30,428
- He was?
- Oh, yes, he was.
1284
01:12:30,596 --> 01:12:33,931
A novel all about a naughty boy-child.
1285
01:12:34,099 --> 01:12:36,601
- I will not tolerate this.
- Oh, can it.
1286
01:12:36,894 --> 01:12:39,896
A naughty boy-child
1287
01:12:40,064 --> 01:12:46,986
who, um, killed
his mother and his father dead!
1288
01:12:47,363 --> 01:12:49,238
Stop it, Martha!
1289
01:12:50,741 --> 01:12:55,953
And Daddy said, "Look here.
I will not let you publish such a thing."
1290
01:12:56,413 --> 01:12:59,624
- All right! The dancing's over.
- Violence, violence.
1291
01:13:00,084 --> 01:13:01,959
And Daddy said, "Look here, kid.
1292
01:13:02,127 --> 01:13:05,880
"You don't think for a second I'm gonna
let you publish this kind of crap, do you?
1293
01:13:06,048 --> 01:13:09,258
"Not on your life,
and not while you're teaching here.
1294
01:13:09,426 --> 01:13:12,762
"You publish that
and you're out on your ass."
1295
01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:15,139
- Desist, desist.
- Desist.
1296
01:13:15,432 --> 01:13:17,642
- (ALL LAUGHING)
- I will not be made mock of.
1297
01:13:17,810 --> 01:13:19,602
He will not be made mock of,
1298
01:13:19,770 --> 01:13:22,480
- for Christ's sake.
- I will not. The game is over.
1299
01:13:22,648 --> 01:13:24,482
- Just imagine.
- Yeah.
1300
01:13:24,650 --> 01:13:28,903
A book all about a boy who
murders his mother and kills his father
1301
01:13:29,071 --> 01:13:31,447
and pretends it's all an accident.
1302
01:13:31,615 --> 01:13:33,991
Hey. Hey, wait a minute.
1303
01:13:34,159 --> 01:13:35,952
- Do you wanna know the clincher?
- Yeah.
1304
01:13:36,120 --> 01:13:38,996
Do you wanna know what
big, brave Georgie said to Daddy?
1305
01:13:39,164 --> 01:13:41,249
- Yeah. Hey.
- No, no, no.
1306
01:13:41,417 --> 01:13:44,627
- Hey, wait a minute.
- Georgie said, "But, Daddy...
1307
01:13:45,087 --> 01:13:48,339
"I mean, but, sir,
this isn't a novel at all."
1308
01:13:48,507 --> 01:13:51,175
- You will not say this.
- The hell I won't. You keep away from me.
1309
01:13:51,343 --> 01:13:53,261
"No, sir, this is no novel at all.
1310
01:13:53,470 --> 01:13:57,014
"This is the truth.
This really happened to me."
1311
01:13:57,182 --> 01:13:58,182
I'll kill you.
1312
01:13:58,350 --> 01:14:00,518
- "It happened."
- (MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)
1313
01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:02,687
- Hey.
- (GROANS)
1314
01:14:03,188 --> 01:14:04,272
Violence!
1315
01:14:05,023 --> 01:14:06,941
Violence, violence!
1316
01:14:07,234 --> 01:14:08,568
Stop that.
1317
01:14:11,655 --> 01:14:13,197
Right.
1318
01:14:13,866 --> 01:14:16,367
All right. Very quiet now.
1319
01:14:17,327 --> 01:14:20,121
We'll all be very quiet.
1320
01:14:22,332 --> 01:14:23,624
(GROANS)
1321
01:14:24,710 --> 01:14:27,003
- Murderer. (PANTING)
- Okay, that's enough.
1322
01:14:27,171 --> 01:14:28,880
All right, what's the trouble in here?
1323
01:14:29,047 --> 01:14:32,884
Honestly, nothing. No trouble.
Just playing a game.
1324
01:14:33,218 --> 01:14:35,553
Well. Well, we're closing.
1325
01:14:35,929 --> 01:14:37,180
Oh, one more round.
1326
01:14:37,556 --> 01:14:38,890
Same for everybody.
1327
01:14:39,057 --> 01:14:41,777
Just give us one more round
and we'll be on our merry way, all right?
1328
01:14:41,894 --> 01:14:43,895
All right? Good, good.
1329
01:14:44,062 --> 01:14:45,229
Thanks.
1330
01:14:45,647 --> 01:14:46,814
Thanks.
1331
01:14:49,234 --> 01:14:53,112
Well, that's one game.
What shall we do now?
1332
01:14:53,906 --> 01:14:56,657
Come on.
I mean, let's think of something else.
1333
01:14:56,825 --> 01:14:58,576
We played Humiliate the Host.
We've gone through that one.
1334
01:14:58,744 --> 01:15:00,328
- What should we do now?
- Oh, look...
1335
01:15:00,496 --> 01:15:02,079
Oh, look? Oh, look?
1336
01:15:02,247 --> 01:15:05,374
I mean, come on. We must know other games,
college-type types like us.
1337
01:15:05,542 --> 01:15:07,001
That can't be the limit of our vocabulary.
1338
01:15:07,169 --> 01:15:08,169
Haven't you had enough?
1339
01:15:08,337 --> 01:15:10,379
Let's see, there are other games.
1340
01:15:10,547 --> 01:15:12,006
How about...
1341
01:15:12,257 --> 01:15:15,718
How about Hump the Hostess?
How about that?
1342
01:15:15,886 --> 01:15:17,428
How about Hump the Hostess?
You wanna play that one?
1343
01:15:17,596 --> 01:15:19,597
- You wanna play Hump the Hostess?
- Calm down.
1344
01:15:19,765 --> 01:15:22,046
Or you wanna wait till later,
get her off into the bushes?
1345
01:15:22,184 --> 01:15:25,102
- Hump the Hostess!
- Just shut up, will you?
1346
01:15:41,119 --> 01:15:42,954
You don't wanna play that now.
You wanna save that for later.
1347
01:15:43,121 --> 01:15:44,914
What shall we play now?
We gotta have a game.
1348
01:15:45,082 --> 01:15:46,791
Portrait of a Man Drowning.
1349
01:15:46,959 --> 01:15:48,417
I'm not drowning.
1350
01:15:48,585 --> 01:15:50,545
- You told me to shut up.
- I'm sorry.
1351
01:15:50,712 --> 01:15:52,004
- No, you're not.
- I'm sorry!
1352
01:15:52,339 --> 01:15:54,966
Okay. I know what we do.
1353
01:15:55,300 --> 01:15:56,968
Now that we're through
with Humiliate the Host,
1354
01:15:57,135 --> 01:15:58,469
we're through with that one
for this round anyway
1355
01:15:58,637 --> 01:16:00,972
and we don't want to play
Hump the Hostess yet, not yet,
1356
01:16:01,139 --> 01:16:02,473
so I know what we'll do.
1357
01:16:02,641 --> 01:16:05,226
How about a little round
of Get the Guests? How about that?
1358
01:16:05,394 --> 01:16:07,074
How about a little game of Get the Guests?
1359
01:16:07,145 --> 01:16:08,145
Jesus, George.
1360
01:16:08,313 --> 01:16:11,065
- Book-dropper, child-mentioner.
- I don't like these games.
1361
01:16:11,233 --> 01:16:13,276
No, no, we've only had one game.
1362
01:16:13,443 --> 01:16:15,319
We've got to have another.
You can't fly on one game.
1363
01:16:15,487 --> 01:16:17,113
- Look, anyway, I...
- Silence!
1364
01:16:17,281 --> 01:16:18,961
Now, how are we gonna play Get the Guests?
1365
01:16:19,116 --> 01:16:20,491
- Good God.
- You be quiet!
1366
01:16:20,659 --> 01:16:22,493
I wonder, I wonder.
1367
01:16:23,829 --> 01:16:24,829
Ah...
1368
01:16:25,330 --> 01:16:27,790
Yeah. Yeah.
1369
01:16:27,958 --> 01:16:31,586
Well, now, Martha, in her indiscreet way,
told you all about my first novel.
1370
01:16:31,753 --> 01:16:33,963
True or false
that there ever was such a thing.
1371
01:16:34,131 --> 01:16:37,174
Anyway, she told you about my first novel,
my memory book,
1372
01:16:37,342 --> 01:16:40,136
which I preferred she hadn't,
but hell, that's blood under the bridge.
1373
01:16:40,304 --> 01:16:42,805
But what Martha didn't do,
but what Martha didn't tell you,
1374
01:16:42,973 --> 01:16:46,350
what Martha didn't tell us all about
was my second novel.
1375
01:16:46,518 --> 01:16:48,603
No, Martha, you didn't know about that,
did you, my second novel?
1376
01:16:48,770 --> 01:16:51,022
- True or false? True or false?
- No.
1377
01:16:51,189 --> 01:16:54,275
Well, it's an allegory, really. Probably.
1378
01:16:54,443 --> 01:16:58,195
And it's all about this nice, young couple
who comes out of the Middle West.
1379
01:16:58,363 --> 01:16:59,655
It's a bucolic, you see.
1380
01:16:59,823 --> 01:17:02,533
And this nice, young couple
comes out of the Middle West
1381
01:17:02,701 --> 01:17:04,869
and he's blond and he's about 30.
1382
01:17:05,037 --> 01:17:08,706
And he's a scientist...
A teacher, a scientist.
1383
01:17:08,874 --> 01:17:11,792
And his mouse is a wifey little thing,
who gargles brandy...
1384
01:17:11,960 --> 01:17:13,002
Just a minute here.
1385
01:17:13,170 --> 01:17:15,421
This is my game, you've had your game.
You people, this is my game.
1386
01:17:15,589 --> 01:17:17,340
I wanna hear this story. I love stories.
1387
01:17:17,507 --> 01:17:19,717
And mousy's father was a holy man, see.
1388
01:17:19,885 --> 01:17:21,886
And he ran a traveling clip joint,
1389
01:17:22,054 --> 01:17:24,254
and he took the faithful, that's all,
he just took them.
1390
01:17:24,389 --> 01:17:26,682
- This is familiar.
- No kidding.
1391
01:17:26,850 --> 01:17:30,519
Anyway, blondie and his frau
out of the Plains states came.
1392
01:17:30,729 --> 01:17:32,772
Very funny, George.
1393
01:17:33,190 --> 01:17:34,357
(CHUCKLES) Thank you, Martha.
1394
01:17:34,524 --> 01:17:36,150
And they settled in a town
just like Nouveau Carthage.
1395
01:17:36,318 --> 01:17:38,527
- I don't think you better go on, mister.
- Do you not?
1396
01:17:38,695 --> 01:17:40,613
I love familiar stories. They're the best.
1397
01:17:40,781 --> 01:17:41,947
How right you are.
1398
01:17:42,115 --> 01:17:44,315
But blondie was all in disguise,
all got up as a teacher
1399
01:17:44,409 --> 01:17:49,080
because his baggage ticket had
bigger things writ on it. "H.I." Aye.
1400
01:17:49,414 --> 01:17:50,831
Historical Inevitability.
1401
01:17:50,999 --> 01:17:52,583
Look, there's no reason
for you to go any further.
1402
01:17:52,751 --> 01:17:53,876
Let them go on.
1403
01:17:54,044 --> 01:17:56,003
We shall. And he had this baggage.
1404
01:17:56,171 --> 01:17:58,673
And part of his baggage
was in the form of his mouse.
1405
01:17:58,840 --> 01:18:00,120
We don't have to listen to this.
1406
01:18:00,217 --> 01:18:01,884
- Why not?
- Your bride has a point.
1407
01:18:02,135 --> 01:18:05,262
But what nobody could figure out
about blondie was his baggage, his mouse.
1408
01:18:05,430 --> 01:18:09,141
I mean, here he was, Pan-Kansas
swimming champion or something,
1409
01:18:09,309 --> 01:18:10,476
and he had this mouse.
1410
01:18:10,644 --> 01:18:14,438
Of whom he was solicitous to a point
that faileth human understanding,
1411
01:18:14,606 --> 01:18:17,233
given that she was
something of a simp in the long run.
1412
01:18:17,401 --> 01:18:20,194
- Look, this just isn't fair of you.
- Perhaps not. Like as I said,
1413
01:18:20,362 --> 01:18:24,448
his mouse, she tooted brandy immodestly
and spent half her time in the upchuck.
1414
01:18:24,616 --> 01:18:26,158
- I know these people.
- Do you?
1415
01:18:26,326 --> 01:18:28,828
But she was a money baggage,
amongst other things.
1416
01:18:28,995 --> 01:18:31,956
Godly money ripped from the golden teeth
of the unfaithful,
1417
01:18:32,124 --> 01:18:33,791
and she was put up with.
1418
01:18:33,959 --> 01:18:36,794
- I don't like this story.
- And she was put up with.
1419
01:18:36,962 --> 01:18:38,212
- Stop, George.
- Stop?
1420
01:18:38,422 --> 01:18:40,172
- Please. Please, don't.
- Beg, baby.
1421
01:18:40,340 --> 01:18:41,799
- George.
- Oh.
1422
01:18:41,967 --> 01:18:44,343
And now we get a flashback
to how they got married.
1423
01:18:44,511 --> 01:18:45,553
- No!
- Yes!
1424
01:18:45,721 --> 01:18:46,801
- Why?
- How they got married?
1425
01:18:46,888 --> 01:18:48,139
Well, how they got married was this.
1426
01:18:48,306 --> 01:18:51,016
The mouse got all puffed up one day
1427
01:18:51,309 --> 01:18:55,020
and she went over to blondie's house
and she stuck out her puff
1428
01:18:55,188 --> 01:18:56,981
and she said, "Look at me."
1429
01:18:57,149 --> 01:18:58,524
- I don't like this.
- Stop it!
1430
01:18:58,692 --> 01:19:02,903
"Look at me, I'm all puffed up."
"Oh, my goodness," said blondie.
1431
01:19:03,071 --> 01:19:05,573
- And so they were married.
- And so they were married.
1432
01:19:05,741 --> 01:19:07,867
- And then? What? And then what?
- And then?
1433
01:19:08,034 --> 01:19:12,204
And then the puff went away again
like magic. Poof.
1434
01:19:14,666 --> 01:19:16,417
The puff went away?
1435
01:19:17,210 --> 01:19:21,672
Honey, I didn't mean to.
Honestly, I didn't mean...
1436
01:19:21,840 --> 01:19:23,174
You told.
1437
01:19:24,259 --> 01:19:25,301
(SOBBING) You told him.
1438
01:19:25,469 --> 01:19:27,720
- Honey. Baby.
- You couldn't have told them, please.
1439
01:19:27,888 --> 01:19:30,848
No. No, you couldn't have told them. No.
1440
01:19:31,892 --> 01:19:34,685
And that's how you play Get the Guests.
1441
01:19:35,729 --> 01:19:38,522
- Please. I'm gonna be sick.
- Honey.
1442
01:19:38,690 --> 01:19:41,859
- Just leave me alone, I'm gonna be sick!
- Honey.
1443
01:19:45,030 --> 01:19:47,630
You shouldn't have done that.
You shouldn't have done that at all.
1444
01:19:47,741 --> 01:19:49,992
- I hate hypocrisy.
- That was cruel and vicious.
1445
01:19:50,160 --> 01:19:52,240
- She'll get over it. She'll recover.
- And damaging.
1446
01:19:52,287 --> 01:19:53,913
- Damaging to me.
- To you?
1447
01:19:54,247 --> 01:19:56,040
- To me.
- To you?
1448
01:19:56,208 --> 01:19:57,416
- Yes!
- (CHUCKLES)
1449
01:19:57,918 --> 01:19:59,043
Beautiful.
1450
01:19:59,211 --> 01:20:02,880
My God, you gotta have a swine
to show you where the truffles are.
1451
01:20:03,048 --> 01:20:04,608
You just rearrange your alliances, boy.
1452
01:20:04,716 --> 01:20:06,436
You look around
and make the best of things.
1453
01:20:06,593 --> 01:20:08,052
Better put your wife in the car.
1454
01:20:08,261 --> 01:20:09,804
No, thanks.
I've had enough rides for tonight.
1455
01:20:09,971 --> 01:20:10,971
We'll walk home.
1456
01:20:11,139 --> 01:20:13,724
That's right,
you go plan some new strategy.
1457
01:20:15,268 --> 01:20:18,103
- You're gonna regret this.
- No doubt. I regret everything.
1458
01:20:18,438 --> 01:20:20,523
No, no, I mean I'm gonna
make you regret this.
1459
01:20:20,690 --> 01:20:21,732
Go clean up the mess.
1460
01:20:22,150 --> 01:20:23,984
You just wait, mister.
1461
01:20:24,903 --> 01:20:26,862
- Very good, George.
- Thank you, Martha.
1462
01:20:27,030 --> 01:20:29,073
- Really good.
- I'm glad you enjoyed it.
1463
01:20:29,282 --> 01:20:31,492
I mean, you did a good job.
1464
01:20:31,660 --> 01:20:33,911
- You really fixed it.
- Uh-huh.
1465
01:20:35,455 --> 01:20:37,957
That's the most life
you've shown in a long time.
1466
01:20:38,124 --> 01:20:40,459
You bring out the best in me, baby.
1467
01:20:43,630 --> 01:20:45,297
You really are a bastard.
1468
01:20:45,465 --> 01:20:48,968
That's all right for you, you can
go around like a hopped-up Arab
1469
01:20:49,135 --> 01:20:52,388
slashing at everything in sight,
scarring up half the world if you want to.
1470
01:20:52,556 --> 01:20:55,474
- But let somebody else try it? No.
- You miserable...
1471
01:20:55,642 --> 01:20:57,601
Why, baby, I did it all for you.
1472
01:20:57,769 --> 01:21:00,437
I thought you'd like it, sweetheart.
1473
01:21:00,605 --> 01:21:03,357
It's to your taste, blood,
carnage and all.
1474
01:21:03,525 --> 01:21:05,484
I thought you'd, sort of, get excited.
1475
01:21:05,652 --> 01:21:09,488
Sort of heave and pant and come running
at me, your melons bobbling.
1476
01:21:09,656 --> 01:21:11,782
You have really screwed up, George.
1477
01:21:11,950 --> 01:21:15,119
- Oh, come on, Martha.
- I mean it. You really have.
1478
01:21:15,662 --> 01:21:18,914
You can sit around with a gin running
out of your mouth, you can humiliate me,
1479
01:21:19,082 --> 01:21:21,959
you can tear me to pieces all night.
That's perfectly okay. That's all right.
1480
01:21:22,127 --> 01:21:24,587
- You can stand it.
- I cannot stand it!
1481
01:21:24,754 --> 01:21:27,798
You can stand it. You married me for it!
1482
01:21:30,844 --> 01:21:32,678
That's a desperately sick lie.
1483
01:21:32,846 --> 01:21:35,556
Don't you know it even yet?
1484
01:21:36,683 --> 01:21:38,017
Martha.
1485
01:21:38,184 --> 01:21:41,353
- My arm has gotten tired whipping you.
- You're mad.
1486
01:21:41,521 --> 01:21:43,731
- Year after year.
- Deluded, Martha.
1487
01:21:43,899 --> 01:21:45,524
- Deluded.
- It's not what I wanted.
1488
01:21:45,692 --> 01:21:48,532
I thought at least you were onto yourself.
I didn't know, I didn't know.
1489
01:21:48,612 --> 01:21:50,404
- I'm onto myself.
- No, no, no. You're sick.
1490
01:21:52,365 --> 01:21:56,201
I'll show you who's sick.
I'll show you who's sick! I'll show you!
1491
01:21:56,369 --> 01:21:58,370
- All right, Martha!
- I'll show you!
1492
01:21:58,538 --> 01:22:01,457
- Show you! I'll show...
- Stop it! Stop it!
1493
01:22:03,335 --> 01:22:04,335
(MARTHA SCOFFS)
1494
01:22:07,255 --> 01:22:08,964
Oh, boy.
1495
01:22:10,216 --> 01:22:13,969
You really are having a field day,
aren't you?
1496
01:22:15,138 --> 01:22:18,515
Well, I'm gonna finish you
before I'm through with you.
1497
01:22:18,892 --> 01:22:21,894
You and that quarterback?
You both gonna finish me?
1498
01:22:22,062 --> 01:22:26,523
Before I'm through with you, you'll wish
you died in that automobile, you bastard.
1499
01:22:26,691 --> 01:22:29,276
And you'll wish
you never mentioned our son.
1500
01:22:29,444 --> 01:22:30,964
- I said I warned you.
- I'm impressed!
1501
01:22:31,112 --> 01:22:32,863
I warned you not to go too far!
1502
01:22:33,031 --> 01:22:35,157
I'm just beginning.
1503
01:22:35,659 --> 01:22:38,035
I'm numbed enough
so I can take you when we're alone.
1504
01:22:38,203 --> 01:22:39,495
I don't listen anymore.
1505
01:22:39,663 --> 01:22:42,665
If I do listen, I sift everything
so I don't really hear you,
1506
01:22:42,832 --> 01:22:45,167
which is about the only way to manage it.
1507
01:22:45,418 --> 01:22:48,379
But you've taken a new tack, Martha,
in the last century or two
1508
01:22:48,546 --> 01:22:50,631
which is just too much.
1509
01:22:50,799 --> 01:22:52,257
Too much!
1510
01:22:53,426 --> 01:22:55,302
I don't mind your dirty underthings
in public.
1511
01:22:55,470 --> 01:22:58,055
Well, I do mind,
but I've reconciled myself to that.
1512
01:22:58,223 --> 01:23:00,808
But you move bag and baggage
into your own fantasy world...
1513
01:23:00,976 --> 01:23:02,017
You're nuts.
1514
01:23:02,185 --> 01:23:03,560
- Well, you have.
- Nuts!
1515
01:23:03,728 --> 01:23:05,145
You can go on saying that
as long as you want but...
1516
01:23:05,313 --> 01:23:07,356
Have you finished your sentences, George?
1517
01:23:07,524 --> 01:23:09,900
You're so convoluted, that's what you are.
1518
01:23:10,068 --> 01:23:12,611
You talk like you're writing
one of your stupid papers.
1519
01:23:12,946 --> 01:23:16,198
Actually, I'm rather worried about you.
About your mind.
1520
01:23:16,449 --> 01:23:18,993
Don't you worry about my mind, sweetheart.
1521
01:23:19,202 --> 01:23:21,912
- I think I'll have you committed.
- You what?
1522
01:23:22,122 --> 01:23:24,248
I think I'll have you committed.
1523
01:23:26,543 --> 01:23:27,584
Oh...
1524
01:23:28,086 --> 01:23:30,587
Baby, aren't you something?
1525
01:23:30,797 --> 01:23:32,673
Well, I've got to find a way
to get at you.
1526
01:23:32,841 --> 01:23:37,011
You've got at me.
You don't have to do anything, George.
1527
01:23:37,178 --> 01:23:39,638
A thousand years of you
has been quite enough.
1528
01:23:39,806 --> 01:23:41,807
You'll go quietly then?
1529
01:23:42,308 --> 01:23:43,988
Do you wanna know what's happened, George?
1530
01:23:44,144 --> 01:23:46,520
Do you wanna know what's really happened?
1531
01:23:46,688 --> 01:23:51,150
It snapped. Finally. Not me, it.
The whole arrangement.
1532
01:23:51,317 --> 01:23:54,695
Boy, you can go on forever and ever.
Everything is manageable.
1533
01:23:54,863 --> 01:23:58,490
You make all sorts of excuses to yourself.
To hell with it, this is life.
1534
01:23:58,658 --> 01:24:01,618
Maybe tomorrow he'll be dead.
Maybe tomorrow you'll be dead.
1535
01:24:01,786 --> 01:24:03,787
All sorts of excuses.
1536
01:24:04,164 --> 01:24:10,377
Then one day, one night,
something happens, and snap!
1537
01:24:10,545 --> 01:24:14,381
It breaks and you just
don't give a damn anymore.
1538
01:24:16,051 --> 01:24:18,969
I tried with you, baby. I really tried.
1539
01:24:19,721 --> 01:24:21,513
Come off it, Martha.
1540
01:24:21,681 --> 01:24:23,474
I really tried.
1541
01:24:24,726 --> 01:24:26,477
You're a monster. You are.
1542
01:24:27,979 --> 01:24:29,938
I'm loud and I'm vulgar
1543
01:24:30,106 --> 01:24:33,901
and I wear the pants in the house
because somebody's got to.
1544
01:24:34,360 --> 01:24:36,612
But I am not a monster!
1545
01:24:37,322 --> 01:24:38,405
I'm not!
1546
01:24:38,573 --> 01:24:42,534
You're a spoiled, self-indulgent,
willful, dirty-minded, liquor-riddled...
1547
01:24:42,702 --> 01:24:45,120
Snap. It went snap.
1548
01:24:45,872 --> 01:24:49,041
I am not gonna try
to get through to you anymore.
1549
01:24:49,334 --> 01:24:50,534
There was a second back there.
1550
01:24:50,668 --> 01:24:54,338
Yeah, there was a second, just a second,
when I could've gotten through to you.
1551
01:24:54,506 --> 01:24:58,300
When maybe we
could've cut through all this crap.
1552
01:24:59,094 --> 01:25:02,805
But it's past. And I'm not going to try.
1553
01:25:03,264 --> 01:25:06,391
Once a month, Martha.
I've gotten used to it.
1554
01:25:06,559 --> 01:25:08,936
Once a month and we get
Misunderstood Martha,
1555
01:25:09,104 --> 01:25:11,230
the good-hearted girl
underneath the barnacles.
1556
01:25:11,397 --> 01:25:15,692
The little miss that the touch of kindness
will bring to bloom again.
1557
01:25:15,985 --> 01:25:17,778
And I believed it more times
than I'd like to admit
1558
01:25:17,946 --> 01:25:20,239
because I don't like to think
I'm that much of a sucker.
1559
01:25:20,406 --> 01:25:23,117
But I don't believe you.
I just don't believe you.
1560
01:25:23,284 --> 01:25:27,162
There is no moment, there is no moment
anymore when we could come together.
1561
01:25:27,330 --> 01:25:28,497
You know what? Maybe you're right.
1562
01:25:28,665 --> 01:25:31,792
You can't come together with nothing
and you're nothing.
1563
01:25:31,960 --> 01:25:33,085
Snap.
1564
01:25:34,379 --> 01:25:37,464
I looked at you tonight
and you weren't there.
1565
01:25:38,383 --> 01:25:40,134
I finally snapped.
1566
01:25:40,635 --> 01:25:44,763
And I'm gonna howl it out!
And I'm not gonna give a damn what I do.
1567
01:25:44,931 --> 01:25:49,101
And I'm gonna make the biggest
goddamn explosion you've ever heard.
1568
01:25:49,269 --> 01:25:51,270
Try and I'll beat you at your own game.
1569
01:25:51,437 --> 01:25:54,273
- Is that a threat, George?
- That's a threat, Martha.
1570
01:25:54,482 --> 01:25:55,858
You're gonna get it, baby.
1571
01:25:56,067 --> 01:25:58,360
Be careful, Martha,
I'll rip you to pieces.
1572
01:25:58,528 --> 01:26:02,114
You are not man enough.
You haven't the guts.
1573
01:26:03,575 --> 01:26:05,033
Total war?
1574
01:26:05,243 --> 01:26:06,410
Total!
1575
01:26:12,208 --> 01:26:14,126
Oh, come on, Martha.
1576
01:26:47,619 --> 01:26:49,161
(HORN BLARING)
1577
01:27:48,930 --> 01:27:52,224
No. No. No.
1578
01:28:35,310 --> 01:28:36,310
(GRUNTS)
1579
01:28:38,104 --> 01:28:39,771
(BELLS CHIMING)
1580
01:29:07,091 --> 01:29:08,342
(LAUGHS)
1581
01:29:22,065 --> 01:29:24,733
(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
1582
01:29:26,903 --> 01:29:28,445
(SOBBING)
1583
01:29:34,827 --> 01:29:35,827
(SNIFFLES)
1584
01:29:38,456 --> 01:29:39,456
(COUGHS)
1585
01:29:50,176 --> 01:29:51,676
(CONTINUES SOBBING)
1586
01:29:55,306 --> 01:29:56,306
(SNIFFLES)
1587
01:30:17,370 --> 01:30:18,662
Bells.
1588
01:30:22,708 --> 01:30:25,419
I've been hearing bells.
1589
01:30:26,671 --> 01:30:28,422
Bells ringing.
1590
01:30:32,427 --> 01:30:34,094
Bells ringing.
1591
01:30:34,720 --> 01:30:36,930
I've been hearing bells.
1592
01:30:38,182 --> 01:30:41,268
- Jesus.
- And I couldn't sleep for the bells.
1593
01:30:41,936 --> 01:30:44,187
Ding, dong, ding, dong.
1594
01:30:44,856 --> 01:30:46,565
They woke me up.
1595
01:30:46,858 --> 01:30:48,525
What time is it?
1596
01:30:48,776 --> 01:30:50,402
Don't bother me.
1597
01:30:51,612 --> 01:30:53,029
Bells.
1598
01:30:54,073 --> 01:30:55,615
I was asleep.
1599
01:30:56,701 --> 01:30:59,661
And I was dreaming of something
1600
01:30:59,829 --> 01:31:03,832
and I heard the sounds coming,
and I didn't know what it was
1601
01:31:04,667 --> 01:31:06,042
and it frightened me.
1602
01:31:06,210 --> 01:31:09,421
- It was so cold. The wind...
- I'm gonna get you, Martha.
1603
01:31:09,589 --> 01:31:13,008
- The wind was so cold.
- Somehow, Martha.
1604
01:31:13,676 --> 01:31:18,388
And there was someone there,
and, oh, I didn't want someone there.
1605
01:31:18,556 --> 01:31:20,182
I was naked.
1606
01:31:20,349 --> 01:31:22,726
You don't know what's going on, do you?
1607
01:31:23,394 --> 01:31:25,312
I don't wanna know.
1608
01:31:26,355 --> 01:31:27,814
Listen to them.
1609
01:31:27,982 --> 01:31:29,483
- No, I don't want to!
- Look at them!
1610
01:31:29,650 --> 01:31:32,444
I don't want to! Please leave me alone!
1611
01:31:32,612 --> 01:31:34,362
No. I just...
1612
01:31:34,655 --> 01:31:36,281
I don't want any children.
1613
01:31:37,200 --> 01:31:39,367
I don't want any children, please.
1614
01:31:40,411 --> 01:31:43,788
I'm afraid. I don't wanna be hurt.
1615
01:31:43,956 --> 01:31:46,249
Please, please.
1616
01:31:46,459 --> 01:31:48,960
- I should have known.
- What?
1617
01:31:49,128 --> 01:31:51,296
Does he know that?
Does that stud you married know about it?
1618
01:31:51,464 --> 01:31:52,589
About what? Stay away!
1619
01:31:52,757 --> 01:31:55,926
How do you do it? How do you make
your secret little murders? Pills?
1620
01:31:56,093 --> 01:31:58,929
You got a secret supply of pills or what?
Apple jelly? Willpower?
1621
01:31:59,096 --> 01:32:00,472
- I feel sick.
- You're gonna throw up again?
1622
01:32:00,681 --> 01:32:02,933
Where is he? I want my husband.
I want a drink.
1623
01:32:03,100 --> 01:32:05,727
- That's right, go at it!
- I want something!
1624
01:32:05,895 --> 01:32:08,730
You know what's going on up there,
little miss?
1625
01:32:10,233 --> 01:32:12,442
I don't wanna know anything.
1626
01:32:13,110 --> 01:32:14,861
You leave me alone.
1627
01:32:16,113 --> 01:32:17,697
- Who rang?
- What?
1628
01:32:17,865 --> 01:32:19,449
What were the bells? Who rang?
1629
01:32:19,617 --> 01:32:21,117
Your husband's up there
and you wanna know who rang?
1630
01:32:21,285 --> 01:32:22,786
Who rang? Someone rang.
1631
01:32:22,954 --> 01:32:24,621
- Someone...
- Rang.
1632
01:32:27,375 --> 01:32:28,917
Someone rang.
1633
01:32:29,961 --> 01:32:31,795
- Yes.
- Bells rang.
1634
01:32:31,963 --> 01:32:34,965
- Yes, the bells rang and it was someone...
- Somebody.
1635
01:32:35,132 --> 01:32:36,508
Somebody.
1636
01:32:36,676 --> 01:32:38,176
Somebody rang.
1637
01:32:38,344 --> 01:32:40,637
Bells rang and it was somebody.
1638
01:32:41,597 --> 01:32:42,847
With him.
1639
01:32:44,684 --> 01:32:46,142
I've got it.
1640
01:32:46,978 --> 01:32:48,770
I've got it, Martha.
1641
01:32:49,021 --> 01:32:52,983
It was a message.
And the message was our son.
1642
01:32:53,150 --> 01:32:57,821
It was a message. The bells rang
and it was a message, and it was about
1643
01:32:58,155 --> 01:32:59,489
our son.
1644
01:32:59,657 --> 01:33:01,658
And the message was...
1645
01:33:01,826 --> 01:33:03,827
And the message was
1646
01:33:04,161 --> 01:33:05,787
our son
1647
01:33:06,122 --> 01:33:08,331
- is dead.
- Oh, no.
1648
01:33:08,541 --> 01:33:11,376
Our son is dead and Martha doesn't know.
I haven't told Martha.
1649
01:33:11,544 --> 01:33:13,878
- Our son is dead and Martha doesn't know.
- No. No. No. Oh, God.
1650
01:33:14,046 --> 01:33:17,382
- And you're not gonna tell her.
- Heaven no, your son is dead.
1651
01:33:17,675 --> 01:33:20,885
I'll tell her myself.
In good time, I'll tell her myself.
1652
01:33:21,053 --> 01:33:23,179
I'm gonna be sick.
1653
01:33:23,347 --> 01:33:24,681
Are you? That's nice.
1654
01:33:24,849 --> 01:33:28,351
- I'm gonna die.
- Good, good. Go right ahead.
1655
01:33:34,358 --> 01:33:35,650
Martha.
1656
01:33:37,111 --> 01:33:40,614
Martha, I have some terrible news.
1657
01:33:42,825 --> 01:33:44,701
It's about our son.
1658
01:33:46,579 --> 01:33:47,912
He's dead.
1659
01:33:50,207 --> 01:33:52,167
Do you hear me, Martha?
1660
01:33:54,086 --> 01:33:55,754
Our boy is dead.
1661
01:34:06,140 --> 01:34:07,265
MARTHA: Hey.
1662
01:34:17,318 --> 01:34:18,526
Hey!
1663
01:34:31,248 --> 01:34:32,749
George?
1664
01:34:48,140 --> 01:34:50,892
Where the hell is everybody?
1665
01:35:02,697 --> 01:35:04,072
George?
1666
01:35:47,491 --> 01:35:52,662
I'll give you bastards five to come out
from wherever you're hiding!
1667
01:36:14,518 --> 01:36:16,019
George!
1668
01:36:41,253 --> 01:36:43,463
George!
1669
01:36:57,228 --> 01:36:58,228
Clink.
1670
01:37:00,606 --> 01:37:01,606
Clink.
1671
01:37:01,899 --> 01:37:02,899
Clink.
1672
01:37:04,902 --> 01:37:05,902
Clink.
1673
01:37:06,362 --> 01:37:07,362
Clink.
1674
01:37:07,613 --> 01:37:09,906
NICK: By God, you've gone crazy, too.
1675
01:37:10,407 --> 01:37:11,407
Clink.
1676
01:37:12,243 --> 01:37:14,911
I said, you've gone crazy, too.
1677
01:37:15,871 --> 01:37:17,247
Probably.
1678
01:37:18,082 --> 01:37:20,041
Probably.
1679
01:37:21,794 --> 01:37:23,795
You've all gone crazy.
1680
01:37:24,922 --> 01:37:27,507
I come downstairs and what happens?
1681
01:37:35,975 --> 01:37:37,475
What happens?
1682
01:37:41,939 --> 01:37:45,817
My wife's in the can with a liquor bottle
and she winks at me.
1683
01:37:46,986 --> 01:37:48,444
Winks at me.
1684
01:37:49,280 --> 01:37:51,614
She's never wunk at you?
1685
01:37:52,283 --> 01:37:53,950
What a shame.
1686
01:37:54,952 --> 01:37:58,955
She's lying down on the floor,
on the tiles, all curled up.
1687
01:38:00,124 --> 01:38:03,710
And she starts peeling the label
on the liquor bottle, the brandy bottle.
1688
01:38:03,919 --> 01:38:06,963
Maybe she'd be
more comfortable in the tub.
1689
01:38:09,800 --> 01:38:12,635
And I ask her what she's doing
and she goes,
1690
01:38:12,803 --> 01:38:15,263
"Shh... Nobody knows I'm here."
1691
01:38:17,850 --> 01:38:20,018
And I come down here
1692
01:38:20,185 --> 01:38:24,439
and you're stumbling around
going "clink" for God's sake.
1693
01:38:24,607 --> 01:38:25,607
Clink.
1694
01:38:26,025 --> 01:38:27,025
Clink.
1695
01:38:28,235 --> 01:38:30,153
You've all gone crazy.
1696
01:38:30,321 --> 01:38:31,487
Yeah.
1697
01:38:32,031 --> 01:38:33,781
Sad but true.
1698
01:38:34,992 --> 01:38:36,910
Where is your husband?
1699
01:38:37,077 --> 01:38:40,663
He is vanished. Poof!
1700
01:38:46,045 --> 01:38:47,754
You're all crazy.
1701
01:38:48,547 --> 01:38:49,672
Nuts.
1702
01:38:50,049 --> 01:38:54,177
Oh, 'tis the refuge we take
when the unreality of the world
1703
01:38:54,345 --> 01:38:57,013
sits too heavy on our tiny heads.
1704
01:38:58,849 --> 01:39:00,975
Relax. Sink into it.
1705
01:39:01,143 --> 01:39:03,853
You're no better than anybody else.
1706
01:39:04,688 --> 01:39:06,314
I think I am.
1707
01:39:11,195 --> 01:39:15,448
Well, you're certainly a flop
in some departments.
1708
01:39:24,708 --> 01:39:26,376
What'd you say?
1709
01:39:27,878 --> 01:39:30,463
I said you certainly are a flop
in some departments.
1710
01:39:30,631 --> 01:39:32,882
I'm sorry you're disappointed.
1711
01:39:33,050 --> 01:39:35,635
Maybe sometime
when I haven't been drinking for 10 hours.
1712
01:39:36,720 --> 01:39:40,264
Baby, you sure are a flop.
1713
01:39:40,599 --> 01:39:44,435
Boy, you're something. You know that?
I mean, you're really something.
1714
01:39:44,603 --> 01:39:46,145
Boy, you know, to you...
1715
01:39:46,313 --> 01:39:48,064
To you, everybody's a flop.
1716
01:39:48,232 --> 01:39:50,233
Your husband's a flop, I'm a flop.
1717
01:39:50,442 --> 01:39:51,693
You're all flops.
1718
01:39:51,860 --> 01:39:55,947
I am the earth mother
and you are all flops.
1719
01:39:58,575 --> 01:39:59,575
(SIGHS)
1720
01:40:00,828 --> 01:40:03,079
I disgust me.
1721
01:40:08,127 --> 01:40:09,419
You know,
1722
01:40:10,254 --> 01:40:14,507
there's only been one man in my whole life
who's ever made me happy.
1723
01:40:15,926 --> 01:40:18,136
You know that? One.
1724
01:40:18,429 --> 01:40:20,346
That the gym instructor or something?
1725
01:40:20,639 --> 01:40:22,807
No, no, no.
1726
01:40:23,600 --> 01:40:24,892
George.
1727
01:40:27,688 --> 01:40:29,230
My husband.
1728
01:40:29,606 --> 01:40:30,773
NICK: You're kidding.
1729
01:40:30,941 --> 01:40:34,193
- Am I?
- You must be. Him?
1730
01:40:34,570 --> 01:40:36,779
- Yeah.
- Sure, sure.
1731
01:40:37,239 --> 01:40:38,489
You don't believe it.
1732
01:40:38,657 --> 01:40:40,450
Why, of course I do.
1733
01:40:40,659 --> 01:40:42,535
You always deal on appearances?
1734
01:40:42,703 --> 01:40:44,495
For God's sake.
1735
01:40:45,622 --> 01:40:49,125
George, who is out somewhere
there in the dark.
1736
01:40:50,627 --> 01:40:53,379
Who is good to me, whom I revile.
1737
01:40:54,798 --> 01:41:00,053
Who can keep learning the games we play
as quickly as I can change them.
1738
01:41:00,220 --> 01:41:03,473
Who can make me happy
and I do not wish to be happy.
1739
01:41:03,640 --> 01:41:06,642
Yes, I do wish to be happy.
1740
01:41:08,771 --> 01:41:10,563
George and Martha.
1741
01:41:11,732 --> 01:41:14,233
Sad, sad, sad.
1742
01:41:15,277 --> 01:41:16,319
Sad.
1743
01:41:16,487 --> 01:41:19,655
Whom I will not forgive
for having come to rest.
1744
01:41:19,823 --> 01:41:22,909
For having seen me and having said,
1745
01:41:23,327 --> 01:41:26,079
"Yes, this will do."
1746
01:41:26,830 --> 01:41:30,208
Who has made the hideous, the hurting,
1747
01:41:30,375 --> 01:41:35,379
the insulting mistake of loving me.
1748
01:41:36,048 --> 01:41:38,424
I must be punished for it.
1749
01:41:39,968 --> 01:41:41,803
George and Martha.
1750
01:41:43,514 --> 01:41:46,516
Sad, sad, sad.
1751
01:41:47,267 --> 01:41:49,685
NICK: Sad, sad, sad.
1752
01:41:50,479 --> 01:41:51,854
Someday.
1753
01:41:53,482 --> 01:41:59,195
Some night, some stupid
liquor-ridden night, I will go too far.
1754
01:42:00,531 --> 01:42:03,116
I'll either break the man's back
or I'll push him off for good,
1755
01:42:03,283 --> 01:42:05,660
which is what I deserve.
1756
01:42:06,203 --> 01:42:08,996
I don't think he's got a vertebra intact.
1757
01:42:09,873 --> 01:42:11,707
Oh, you don't, huh?
1758
01:42:12,626 --> 01:42:14,377
You don't think so?
1759
01:42:15,629 --> 01:42:17,046
Little boy.
1760
01:42:17,631 --> 01:42:21,175
You've got yourself so hunched
over that microphone...
1761
01:42:21,343 --> 01:42:22,593
Microscope.
1762
01:42:22,761 --> 01:42:25,388
Yeah. And you don't see anything, do you?
1763
01:42:25,556 --> 01:42:28,182
You see everything but the goddamn mind.
1764
01:42:28,350 --> 01:42:30,893
You see all the little specks
and the crap,
1765
01:42:31,061 --> 01:42:34,063
- but you don't see what goes on, do you?
- NICK: All right, now.
1766
01:42:34,606 --> 01:42:36,107
You know so little.
1767
01:42:36,275 --> 01:42:38,693
And you're gonna take over the world?
1768
01:42:38,861 --> 01:42:40,653
I said, all right.
1769
01:42:41,321 --> 01:42:44,532
Oh, the stallion's mad, huh?
1770
01:42:45,284 --> 01:42:48,077
The gelding's getting all upset?
1771
01:42:48,245 --> 01:42:50,746
Boy, you swing wild, don't you?
1772
01:42:50,914 --> 01:42:54,083
- Oh, you poor little bastard.
- Hit out at everything.
1773
01:42:54,418 --> 01:42:56,419
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- Go answer the door.
1774
01:42:57,629 --> 01:42:58,921
What'd you say to me?
1775
01:42:59,089 --> 01:43:01,799
I said, go answer the door.
What are you, deaf?
1776
01:43:01,967 --> 01:43:04,218
You want me to go answer the door?
1777
01:43:04,386 --> 01:43:07,180
That's right, lunkhead,
go answer the door.
1778
01:43:07,347 --> 01:43:08,707
Must be something you can do well.
1779
01:43:08,849 --> 01:43:10,224
You too drunk to do that, too?
1780
01:43:10,392 --> 01:43:11,809
Look, there's no need for you to...
1781
01:43:11,977 --> 01:43:13,394
Answer it!
1782
01:43:14,021 --> 01:43:15,771
You can be houseboy around here
for a while.
1783
01:43:15,939 --> 01:43:18,149
You can start in being houseboy right now.
1784
01:43:18,317 --> 01:43:20,067
Look, lady, I'm no flunky to you.
1785
01:43:20,235 --> 01:43:22,987
Sure, you are.
You're ambitious, aren't you?
1786
01:43:23,155 --> 01:43:27,575
I mean, you didn't come back here with me
out of mad, driven passion, did you, now?
1787
01:43:28,160 --> 01:43:31,662
You were thinking a little bit
about your career, weren't you?
1788
01:43:31,830 --> 01:43:37,210
Well, you can just houseboy your way
up the ladder for a while.
1789
01:43:38,170 --> 01:43:42,340
- There's no limit to you, is there?
- No, baby, none. Go answer the door.
1790
01:43:42,507 --> 01:43:44,133
Go on, get!
1791
01:43:46,178 --> 01:43:47,929
Aimless. Wanton.
1792
01:43:48,096 --> 01:43:50,223
Now, now, now, you just do as you're told.
1793
01:43:50,390 --> 01:43:53,309
You show old Martha
there's something you can do.
1794
01:43:53,477 --> 01:43:55,728
I'm coming, for Christ's sake!
1795
01:43:55,896 --> 01:43:57,688
Wonderful, marvelous!
1796
01:43:57,856 --> 01:44:00,900
♪ Just a gigolo, everywhere I go... ♪
1797
01:44:01,068 --> 01:44:02,235
Stop that!
1798
01:44:02,486 --> 01:44:06,113
Sorry, baby.
Now, you go answer the little door, huh?
1799
01:44:08,367 --> 01:44:09,408
Christ.
1800
01:44:09,826 --> 01:44:13,246
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
1801
01:44:14,831 --> 01:44:17,041
Oh, how lovely.
1802
01:44:19,586 --> 01:44:23,256
Why, sonny, you came home
for your birthday at last.
1803
01:44:23,423 --> 01:44:25,383
Stay away from me.
1804
01:44:25,550 --> 01:44:28,719
- That's the houseboy, for God's sake.
- Really?
1805
01:44:28,887 --> 01:44:30,388
That's not our own little sonny, Jim?
1806
01:44:30,555 --> 01:44:33,057
Our own little all-American
something or other?
1807
01:44:33,225 --> 01:44:34,850
I certainly hope not.
1808
01:44:35,018 --> 01:44:37,478
He's been acting awful funny if he is.
1809
01:44:37,646 --> 01:44:39,605
I'll bet. Chippy, chippy, chippy, huh?
1810
01:44:39,773 --> 01:44:43,776
Martha, I brung these flowers, uh,
1811
01:44:45,320 --> 01:44:47,947
'cause I... 'Cause you...
1812
01:44:49,032 --> 01:44:51,951
- Oh, hell, Martha, gee.
- (LAUGHS)
1813
01:44:52,286 --> 01:44:55,413
Pansies, rosemary, violence.
1814
01:44:55,580 --> 01:44:57,123
My wedding bouquet.
1815
01:44:57,291 --> 01:44:58,611
Well, if you two kids don't mind,
1816
01:44:58,709 --> 01:45:00,309
- I think I'll just get my wife...
- (YELLS)
1817
01:45:00,377 --> 01:45:03,796
You stay right where you are.
Make my hubby a drink.
1818
01:45:03,964 --> 01:45:05,256
I don't think I will.
1819
01:45:05,424 --> 01:45:09,885
No, Martha, no. That would be too much.
He's your houseboy, baby, not mine.
1820
01:45:10,053 --> 01:45:12,263
I'm nobody's houseboy!
1821
01:45:12,431 --> 01:45:14,015
- Now.
- Now.
1822
01:45:14,266 --> 01:45:19,353
BOTH:
♪ I'm nobody's houseboy now ♪
1823
01:45:19,813 --> 01:45:22,398
- Vicious.
- Children, huh? That right?
1824
01:45:22,566 --> 01:45:24,567
Vicious children
with their oh-so sad games
1825
01:45:24,735 --> 01:45:27,028
hopscotching their way through life,
etcetera, etcetera, is that it?
1826
01:45:27,195 --> 01:45:28,404
Something like that.
1827
01:45:28,572 --> 01:45:29,864
Screw, baby.
1828
01:45:30,032 --> 01:45:32,908
Him can't. Him too full of booze.
1829
01:45:33,076 --> 01:45:34,243
Really?
1830
01:45:34,411 --> 01:45:36,537
Here. Dump these in some gin.
1831
01:45:37,331 --> 01:45:38,331
BOTH: Oh!
1832
01:45:39,124 --> 01:45:41,625
What a terrible thing to do
to Martha's snapdragons.
1833
01:45:41,835 --> 01:45:43,878
- Is that what they are?
- Yep.
1834
01:45:44,046 --> 01:45:46,646
And here I went in the moonlight
all the way to Daddy's greenhouse
1835
01:45:46,715 --> 01:45:47,965
to pick them for her.
1836
01:45:48,133 --> 01:45:51,302
There is no moon.
I saw it go down from the bedroom.
1837
01:45:51,470 --> 01:45:53,471
From the bedroom? (CHUCKLES)
1838
01:45:54,765 --> 01:45:56,057
Well, there is a moon.
1839
01:45:56,224 --> 01:45:58,851
There is no goddamn moon,
the moon went down.
1840
01:45:59,019 --> 01:46:01,099
That may very well be, chastity,
but it came back up.
1841
01:46:01,188 --> 01:46:02,229
Bull.
1842
01:46:02,397 --> 01:46:04,982
Once when I was sailing past Majorca,
the moon went down,
1843
01:46:05,192 --> 01:46:08,444
thought about it for a while, and then,
pop, came up again, just like that.
1844
01:46:08,612 --> 01:46:10,029
That is not true.
1845
01:46:10,197 --> 01:46:11,781
That is such a lie.
1846
01:46:11,948 --> 01:46:14,241
You must not call everything a lie,
Martha. Must she?
1847
01:46:14,618 --> 01:46:16,698
Hell, I don't know
when you people are lying or what.
1848
01:46:17,371 --> 01:46:19,872
- You're damn right.
- You're not supposed to.
1849
01:46:20,123 --> 01:46:21,332
Right.
1850
01:46:21,500 --> 01:46:24,960
- Anyway, now, I was sailing past Majorca...
- You never sailed past Majorca.
1851
01:46:25,128 --> 01:46:26,253
Martha.
1852
01:46:26,421 --> 01:46:29,131
You were never
in the Mediterranean at all, ever!
1853
01:46:29,299 --> 01:46:31,008
I certainly was.
My mommy and daddy took me there
1854
01:46:31,176 --> 01:46:32,456
as a college-graduation present.
1855
01:46:32,594 --> 01:46:34,512
- Nuts.
- Was this after you killed them?
1856
01:46:36,139 --> 01:46:37,473
Maybe.
1857
01:46:38,892 --> 01:46:41,018
Yeah. And maybe not, too.
1858
01:46:41,937 --> 01:46:44,480
- Jesus.
- Truth and illusion.
1859
01:46:44,648 --> 01:46:47,024
Who knows the difference, eh, toots?
Eh, houseboy?
1860
01:46:47,192 --> 01:46:49,360
- I'm not a houseboy.
- Look, I know the game.
1861
01:46:49,528 --> 01:46:50,986
You don't make it in the sack,
you're a houseboy.
1862
01:46:51,154 --> 01:46:54,740
- I am not a houseboy!
- Then you must have made it, yes? Yes?
1863
01:46:54,908 --> 01:46:57,493
Somebody's lying around here,
somebody's not playing the game straight.
1864
01:46:57,661 --> 01:46:59,745
Come on, come on, who's lying? Martha?
Come on.
1865
01:47:00,247 --> 01:47:01,705
Tell him I'm not a houseboy.
1866
01:47:03,625 --> 01:47:06,043
No, you're not a houseboy.
1867
01:47:09,673 --> 01:47:11,298
So be it. (SIGHS)
1868
01:47:12,592 --> 01:47:15,719
Truth and illusion, George.
You don't know the difference.
1869
01:47:16,596 --> 01:47:19,557
No, but we must carry on as though we did.
1870
01:47:20,225 --> 01:47:21,392
Amen.
1871
01:47:23,270 --> 01:47:25,396
- Snap went the dragons.
- Thank you.
1872
01:47:26,273 --> 01:47:28,774
- Skip it.
- I said, snap went the dragons!
1873
01:47:28,942 --> 01:47:31,068
- Yeah, yeah, we know.
- Snap.
1874
01:47:31,236 --> 01:47:32,361
Don't, George!
1875
01:47:32,529 --> 01:47:33,863
- Snap.
- Don't do that.
1876
01:47:34,030 --> 01:47:35,906
- Shut up, stud.
- I'm not a stud.
1877
01:47:36,074 --> 01:47:39,160
Snap. Then you're a houseboy.
Which is it? Which are you?
1878
01:47:39,327 --> 01:47:41,245
- Snap.
- Does it matter to you, George?
1879
01:47:41,413 --> 01:47:45,124
Snap. No, actually it doesn't.
Either way I've had it.
1880
01:47:45,959 --> 01:47:48,627
Stop throwing those damn things at me!
1881
01:47:48,795 --> 01:47:51,155
- Either way. Snap.
- Do you want me to do something to him?
1882
01:47:51,381 --> 01:47:52,798
You leave him alone.
1883
01:47:53,133 --> 01:47:56,510
- Which are you, baby, houseboy or stud?
- For God's sake.
1884
01:47:56,678 --> 01:47:59,555
- Snap.
- Truth or illusion, George?
1885
01:47:59,723 --> 01:48:01,599
Doesn't it matter to you at all?
1886
01:48:04,478 --> 01:48:07,146
Snap. You got your answer, baby?
1887
01:48:12,611 --> 01:48:13,944
Got it.
1888
01:48:17,824 --> 01:48:20,409
You just gird
your blue-veined loins, girl.
1889
01:48:20,577 --> 01:48:23,370
Now we got one more game to play
and it's called Bringing up Baby.
1890
01:48:23,538 --> 01:48:24,830
- For Lord's sake.
- George.
1891
01:48:24,998 --> 01:48:28,118
I don't want any fuss, you don't want
any scandal around here, do you, big boy?
1892
01:48:28,168 --> 01:48:30,628
You want to keep to your timetable,
don't you? Then sit!
1893
01:48:30,795 --> 01:48:33,756
And you, pretty miss,
you like fun and games, don't you?
1894
01:48:33,924 --> 01:48:35,716
You're a sport from way back, aren't you?
1895
01:48:35,884 --> 01:48:38,177
- All right, George. All right.
- Good, good.
1896
01:48:38,345 --> 01:48:39,929
But we're not all here.
1897
01:48:40,096 --> 01:48:42,014
You. You, you, you.
1898
01:48:42,182 --> 01:48:43,724
Your little wifelet isn't here.
1899
01:48:43,892 --> 01:48:45,476
Look, she's had a rough night...
1900
01:48:45,644 --> 01:48:47,895
Well, we can't play
without everybody here now. That's a fact.
1901
01:48:48,063 --> 01:48:49,438
We gotta have your little wife.
1902
01:48:49,606 --> 01:48:51,440
(YELLS)
1903
01:48:51,816 --> 01:48:53,150
Cut that!
1904
01:48:53,860 --> 01:48:57,154
You just get off your butt
and bring that little dip back in here.
1905
01:48:57,322 --> 01:48:59,156
Now be a good puppy, go fetch.
1906
01:48:59,324 --> 01:49:01,492
Fetch, good puppy. Go fetch.
1907
01:49:10,835 --> 01:49:12,419
One more game.
1908
01:49:20,345 --> 01:49:22,763
I don't like what's gonna happen.
1909
01:49:22,931 --> 01:49:24,515
Do you know what it is?
1910
01:49:25,016 --> 01:49:27,685
No. But I don't like it.
1911
01:49:27,852 --> 01:49:30,688
- Maybe you will, Martha.
- No.
1912
01:49:30,855 --> 01:49:32,773
It's a real fun game.
1913
01:49:32,941 --> 01:49:34,358
No more games.
1914
01:49:34,526 --> 01:49:38,279
One more, Martha.
One more game and then beddy-bye.
1915
01:49:38,446 --> 01:49:43,367
Everybody pack up his tools
and baggage and stuff and go home.
1916
01:49:43,535 --> 01:49:45,369
And you and me,
1917
01:49:45,537 --> 01:49:48,205
well, we're gonna climb
them well-worn stairs.
1918
01:49:48,373 --> 01:49:50,207
Oh, no, George, no.
1919
01:49:50,375 --> 01:49:51,709
Yes, baby.
1920
01:49:51,876 --> 01:49:55,296
- No, George. Please, no.
- It'll all be done before you know it.
1921
01:49:55,463 --> 01:49:58,132
- No.
- No climb stairs with Georgie?
1922
01:49:58,300 --> 01:50:03,137
No more games. It's games I don't want,
George. No more games, please.
1923
01:50:03,305 --> 01:50:04,638
Sure, you do.
1924
01:50:04,806 --> 01:50:07,891
Original game girl and all.
Of course you do.
1925
01:50:08,059 --> 01:50:10,102
No, George, please. I don't...
1926
01:50:10,270 --> 01:50:12,396
Don't you touch me!
1927
01:50:12,689 --> 01:50:15,608
Keep your paws clean
for the undergraduates.
1928
01:50:16,610 --> 01:50:19,069
Listen to me, Martha!
You've had yourself an evening.
1929
01:50:19,237 --> 01:50:20,597
You've had yourself quite a night.
1930
01:50:20,697 --> 01:50:21,697
You can't cut it out
1931
01:50:21,865 --> 01:50:23,949
just whenever there's enough blood
in your mouth. We're going on.
1932
01:50:24,117 --> 01:50:26,535
And I'm gonna have at you, and
it's gonna make your performance tonight
1933
01:50:26,703 --> 01:50:27,911
look like an Easter pageant.
1934
01:50:28,079 --> 01:50:29,580
I want you to get yourself a little alert.
1935
01:50:29,748 --> 01:50:31,428
- I want a little life in you.
- Stop that!
1936
01:50:31,458 --> 01:50:32,666
Pull yourself together!
1937
01:50:32,834 --> 01:50:34,001
I want you on your feet and slugging
1938
01:50:34,169 --> 01:50:36,378
because I'm gonna knock you around
and I want you up for it.
1939
01:50:36,546 --> 01:50:38,297
All right, George. What do you want?
1940
01:50:38,465 --> 01:50:40,545
- An equal battle, baby, that's all.
- You'll get it.
1941
01:50:40,592 --> 01:50:43,594
- I want you mad. Get madder.
- I'm mad. Don't worry about it!
1942
01:50:43,762 --> 01:50:45,929
Good girl.
We'll play this one to the death.
1943
01:50:46,097 --> 01:50:47,848
- Yours? Yeah.
- You'll be surprised.
1944
01:50:48,016 --> 01:50:49,058
Here come the little tots.
1945
01:50:49,225 --> 01:50:50,601
- You be ready for this.
- I'm ready for you.
1946
01:50:50,769 --> 01:50:53,312
- Here we are.
- (MUMBLING)
1947
01:50:53,938 --> 01:50:56,065
- Are you a bunny, honey?
- I'm a bunny, honey.
1948
01:50:56,232 --> 01:50:58,651
- Well, now, how's the bunny?
- Bunny funny.
1949
01:50:58,818 --> 01:51:00,944
- Bunny funny. Good for bunny.
- Come on, George.
1950
01:51:01,112 --> 01:51:02,988
Honey, funny bunny.
1951
01:51:03,156 --> 01:51:05,908
- For Christ's sake.
- All right, here we go.
1952
01:51:06,076 --> 01:51:07,993
Last game. All sit.
1953
01:51:08,787 --> 01:51:10,704
Sit down, Martha.
This is a civilized game.
1954
01:51:10,872 --> 01:51:12,956
Just get on with it.
1955
01:51:13,124 --> 01:51:16,919
Now, I think we've been having a real
good evening, all things considered.
1956
01:51:17,087 --> 01:51:20,964
We've sat around and we've got to know
each other, and we've had fun and games.
1957
01:51:21,132 --> 01:51:23,425
- Curl Up on the Floor, for example.
- The tiles.
1958
01:51:23,593 --> 01:51:25,219
The tiles, Snap The Dragon...
1959
01:51:25,387 --> 01:51:27,429
- Peel the Label!
- Peel... Peel the what?
1960
01:51:27,597 --> 01:51:29,807
Label. Peel the Label.
1961
01:51:29,974 --> 01:51:31,350
I peel labels.
1962
01:51:31,726 --> 01:51:33,686
We all peel labels, sweetie.
1963
01:51:33,937 --> 01:51:37,022
Now, when you get through the skin,
all three layers and through the muscle,
1964
01:51:37,190 --> 01:51:39,525
and slosh aside the organs,
them which is sloshable
1965
01:51:39,693 --> 01:51:41,402
and get down to the bone,
do you know what you do then?
1966
01:51:41,569 --> 01:51:44,279
- No.
- When you get down to the bone
1967
01:51:44,447 --> 01:51:45,727
you haven't got all the way yet.
1968
01:51:45,824 --> 01:51:48,033
There's something inside the bone.
The marrow.
1969
01:51:48,201 --> 01:51:49,326
And that's what you got to get at.
1970
01:51:49,494 --> 01:51:51,078
- I see.
- The marrow.
1971
01:51:51,246 --> 01:51:53,622
But bones are pretty resilient,
especially in the young.
1972
01:51:53,790 --> 01:51:55,541
Now, take our son.
1973
01:51:56,334 --> 01:51:59,253
- Who?
- Our son. Martha's and my little joy.
1974
01:51:59,421 --> 01:52:01,380
- George?
- Yes, Martha?
1975
01:52:01,548 --> 01:52:02,965
Just what are you doing?
1976
01:52:03,174 --> 01:52:05,509
- Why, love, I'm talking about our son.
- Well, don't.
1977
01:52:05,760 --> 01:52:06,844
But I want to, Martha.
1978
01:52:07,011 --> 01:52:08,303
I think it's very important
we talk about him.
1979
01:52:08,471 --> 01:52:11,682
You, my dear, you want to hear about
our bouncy boy, don't you?
1980
01:52:11,850 --> 01:52:15,310
- Whom?
- Martha's and my son.
1981
01:52:16,229 --> 01:52:17,229
Oh.
1982
01:52:17,522 --> 01:52:19,148
You have a child?
1983
01:52:19,315 --> 01:52:21,316
Oh, yes, indeed, do we ever.
1984
01:52:21,484 --> 01:52:22,985
Martha, do you want to talk about him
or shall I?
1985
01:52:23,153 --> 01:52:26,071
- Don't, George.
- All righty. Well, now, let's see.
1986
01:52:26,239 --> 01:52:28,282
He's a nice kid, really,
in spite of his home life.
1987
01:52:28,450 --> 01:52:30,117
I mean, most kids would grow up neurotic,
1988
01:52:30,285 --> 01:52:32,453
what with Martha here
carrying on the way she does.
1989
01:52:32,620 --> 01:52:35,873
Sleeping till 4:00 in the p.m.,
climbing all over the poor bastard,
1990
01:52:36,040 --> 01:52:40,753
trying to break down the bathroom door
to wash him in the tub when he's 16.
1991
01:52:40,920 --> 01:52:42,838
Dragging strangers
into the house at all hours.
1992
01:52:43,006 --> 01:52:44,882
- Okay, you.
- Martha?
1993
01:52:45,049 --> 01:52:47,676
- That's enough.
- Well, do you want to take over?
1994
01:52:47,844 --> 01:52:50,721
Why would anyone want to wash
somebody who's 16 years old?
1995
01:52:50,889 --> 01:52:53,640
- For Christ's sake, honey.
- Well, why?
1996
01:52:53,808 --> 01:52:55,517
Because it's her baby-poo.
1997
01:52:55,810 --> 01:52:57,227
All right.
1998
01:52:57,395 --> 01:53:00,856
Our son, you want our son? You'll have it.
1999
01:53:03,234 --> 01:53:05,027
Do you want a drink?
2000
01:53:06,237 --> 01:53:07,362
Yes.
2001
01:53:08,281 --> 01:53:10,824
NICK: We don't have to hear about it
if you don't want to.
2002
01:53:10,992 --> 01:53:14,578
GEORGE: Who says so? You in a position
to set the rules around here?
2003
01:53:14,746 --> 01:53:15,913
NICK: No.
2004
01:53:16,080 --> 01:53:18,081
GEORGE: Good boy. You'll go far.
2005
01:53:18,249 --> 01:53:21,335
All right, Martha.
Your recitation, please.
2006
01:53:22,545 --> 01:53:23,837
What?
2007
01:53:26,382 --> 01:53:27,633
Our son.
2008
01:53:27,842 --> 01:53:29,259
All right.
2009
01:53:29,844 --> 01:53:31,303
Our son.
2010
01:53:33,431 --> 01:53:38,477
Our son was born on a September night,
a night not unlike tonight,
2011
01:53:39,312 --> 01:53:43,190
though tomorrow and 16 years ago.
2012
01:53:43,358 --> 01:53:45,108
GEORGE: See, I told you.
2013
01:53:46,277 --> 01:53:49,863
- It was an easy birth.
- No, Martha, you labored. How you labored.
2014
01:53:50,031 --> 01:53:52,115
It was an easy birth.
2015
01:53:52,283 --> 01:53:55,661
Once it had been accepted.
2016
01:53:56,621 --> 01:53:59,289
- Relaxed into.
- Ah, that's better.
2017
01:54:00,458 --> 01:54:04,253
It was an easy birth,
once it had been accepted.
2018
01:54:05,296 --> 01:54:07,130
And I was young.
2019
01:54:07,298 --> 01:54:09,216
He was healthy.
2020
01:54:10,134 --> 01:54:12,636
A red, bawling child.
2021
01:54:12,804 --> 01:54:15,597
GEORGE: Martha thinks
she saw him at delivery.
2022
01:54:15,807 --> 01:54:18,600
With slippery, firm limbs.
2023
01:54:19,143 --> 01:54:23,272
And a full head of black, fine, fine hair.
2024
01:54:24,148 --> 01:54:25,941
Which only later...
2025
01:54:26,109 --> 01:54:28,151
Later it became
2026
01:54:29,362 --> 01:54:31,488
blond as the sun.
2027
01:54:32,490 --> 01:54:33,740
Our son.
2028
01:54:33,908 --> 01:54:35,826
GEORGE: He was a healthy child.
2029
01:54:36,995 --> 01:54:40,998
And I had wanted a child.
Oh, I had wanted a child.
2030
01:54:41,165 --> 01:54:42,833
GEORGE: A son? Daughter?
2031
01:54:43,001 --> 01:54:44,376
A child!
2032
01:54:45,920 --> 01:54:47,379
A child.
2033
01:54:49,173 --> 01:54:51,008
I had my child.
2034
01:54:51,175 --> 01:54:52,551
GEORGE: Our child.
2035
01:54:52,719 --> 01:54:54,219
Our child.
2036
01:54:55,346 --> 01:54:57,180
And we raised him.
2037
01:54:58,057 --> 01:54:59,057
(SNIFFLES)
2038
01:54:59,684 --> 01:55:02,311
Yes, we did. We raised him.
2039
01:55:05,023 --> 01:55:08,358
And he had green eyes.
2040
01:55:10,194 --> 01:55:14,281
Such green, green eyes.
2041
01:55:14,908 --> 01:55:17,576
GEORGE: Blue, green, brown.
2042
01:55:17,744 --> 01:55:19,578
And he loved the sun.
2043
01:55:19,746 --> 01:55:23,373
And he was tan before and after everyone.
2044
01:55:25,376 --> 01:55:31,340
And in the sun, his hair became fleece.
2045
01:55:31,883 --> 01:55:33,216
Fleece?
2046
01:55:35,553 --> 01:55:38,847
Beautiful, beautiful boy.
2047
01:55:39,015 --> 01:55:42,184
(SPEAKING IN LATIN)
2048
01:55:43,895 --> 01:55:46,939
So beautiful, so wise.
2049
01:55:47,231 --> 01:55:49,316
GEORGE: All truth being relative.
2050
01:55:49,734 --> 01:55:51,276
It was true.
2051
01:55:52,737 --> 01:55:54,947
Beautiful, wise, perfect.
2052
01:55:55,114 --> 01:55:56,865
GEORGE: There's a real mother talking.
2053
01:55:57,033 --> 01:55:58,408
I want a child.
2054
01:55:58,576 --> 01:56:00,577
- Honey.
- I want a child.
2055
01:56:00,745 --> 01:56:01,995
GEORGE: On principle?
2056
01:56:02,163 --> 01:56:04,706
I want a child. I want a baby.
2057
01:56:04,874 --> 01:56:08,085
Of course, this perfection could not last.
2058
01:56:08,252 --> 01:56:10,003
Not with George.
2059
01:56:11,005 --> 01:56:13,966
- Not with George around.
- There, you see, I knew she'd shift.
2060
01:56:14,133 --> 01:56:15,759
- HONEY: Be still.
- Sorry, Mother.
2061
01:56:15,927 --> 01:56:18,011
- NICK: Can't you be still?
- (SPEAKING LATIN)
2062
01:56:18,179 --> 01:56:20,055
MARTHA: Not with George around.
2063
01:56:20,223 --> 01:56:23,100
A drowning man takes down
those nearest, and he tried.
2064
01:56:23,267 --> 01:56:26,603
And, God, how I fought him.
God, how I fought him.
2065
01:56:26,771 --> 01:56:28,021
The one thing
2066
01:56:28,189 --> 01:56:30,941
I tried to carry pure and unscathed
2067
01:56:31,109 --> 01:56:33,610
through the sewer of our marriage
2068
01:56:33,778 --> 01:56:37,614
through the sick nights
and the pathetic, stupid days,
2069
01:56:37,782 --> 01:56:41,034
through the derision and the laughter.
God, the laughter.
2070
01:56:41,202 --> 01:56:42,202
(SPEAKING LATIN)
2071
01:56:42,370 --> 01:56:45,080
Through one failure after another.
2072
01:56:45,456 --> 01:56:49,626
Each attempt more numbing,
more sickening than the one before.
2073
01:56:50,003 --> 01:56:53,839
The one thing,
the one person I tried to protect
2074
01:56:54,007 --> 01:56:59,219
to raise above the mire of this vile,
crushing marriage,
2075
01:56:59,387 --> 01:57:03,557
the one light in all this
hopeless darkness, our son!
2076
01:57:03,725 --> 01:57:05,225
Stop it!
2077
01:57:05,393 --> 01:57:06,852
HONEY: Stop it!
2078
01:57:08,062 --> 01:57:10,480
- Just stop it.
- Why, baby? Don't you like it?
2079
01:57:10,648 --> 01:57:13,025
- You can't do this.
- Who says?
2080
01:57:13,192 --> 01:57:15,193
- I say.
- Tell us why, baby.
2081
01:57:15,361 --> 01:57:16,570
No.
2082
01:57:16,738 --> 01:57:20,157
- Is this game over?
- Yes, it's over.
2083
01:57:20,616 --> 01:57:22,826
Oh, no. No, not by a long shot.
2084
01:57:23,578 --> 01:57:26,538
I've got a little surprise for you, baby.
It's about sonny Jim.
2085
01:57:26,706 --> 01:57:27,914
- No more, George.
- Yes.
2086
01:57:28,082 --> 01:57:30,667
- NICK: Leave her be.
- I'm running this show!
2087
01:57:30,835 --> 01:57:35,464
Sweetheart, I'm afraid I've got
some bad news for you.
2088
01:57:35,673 --> 01:57:38,592
For both of us, I mean.
Some rather sad news.
2089
01:57:38,760 --> 01:57:40,469
What is this?
2090
01:57:40,678 --> 01:57:44,389
Well, Martha, while you were busy,
while the two of you were busy...
2091
01:57:44,557 --> 01:57:47,350
I mean, I don't know where,
but, hell, you must have been somewhere.
2092
01:57:47,518 --> 01:57:52,606
While you were busy for a while,
missy and I were having a little talk.
2093
01:57:53,316 --> 01:57:55,192
You know, a chaw and a talk.
2094
01:57:55,359 --> 01:57:57,110
And the doorbell rang.
2095
01:57:57,320 --> 01:57:59,321
- Chimed.
- Chimed.
2096
01:57:59,489 --> 01:58:00,822
And...
2097
01:58:01,991 --> 01:58:04,034
Well, Martha, I...
2098
01:58:04,786 --> 01:58:07,454
- It's hard for me to tell you.
- Tell me.
2099
01:58:07,747 --> 01:58:09,039
Please don't.
2100
01:58:09,207 --> 01:58:10,499
Tell me.
2101
01:58:11,209 --> 01:58:15,962
Well, what it was, it was good old
Western Union, some little boy about 70.
2102
01:58:16,380 --> 01:58:19,841
- Crazy Billy?
- Yes, Martha, that's right. Crazy Billy.
2103
01:58:20,009 --> 01:58:22,260
And he had a telegram and it was for us.
2104
01:58:24,222 --> 01:58:26,389
I have to tell you about it.
2105
01:58:26,974 --> 01:58:29,893
Why didn't they phone it?
Why did they bring it?
2106
01:58:30,061 --> 01:58:31,228
Why didn't they telephone it?
2107
01:58:31,521 --> 01:58:34,856
Some telegrams
you have to deliver, Martha.
2108
01:58:35,024 --> 01:58:36,525
Some telegrams, you cannot phone.
2109
01:58:37,860 --> 01:58:39,611
What do you mean?
2110
01:58:39,779 --> 01:58:40,987
Martha.
2111
01:58:41,864 --> 01:58:44,366
- I can hardly bring myself to say it.
- Don't.
2112
01:58:44,951 --> 01:58:48,411
- You want to do it?
- No, no, no. (SNIFFLES)
2113
01:58:48,830 --> 01:58:50,205
All right.
2114
01:58:51,415 --> 01:58:55,836
Well, Martha, I'm afraid our boy
isn't coming home for his birthday.
2115
01:58:56,754 --> 01:58:58,964
- Of course he is.
- No, Martha.
2116
01:58:59,132 --> 01:59:01,424
- Of course he is. I say he is.
- He can't.
2117
01:59:01,592 --> 01:59:03,677
- He is. I say...
- Martha!
2118
01:59:06,347 --> 01:59:09,391
Our son is
2119
01:59:11,394 --> 01:59:12,519
dead.
2120
01:59:13,688 --> 01:59:16,356
He was killed late in the afternoon
2121
01:59:16,816 --> 01:59:19,109
on a country road
with his learner's permit in his pocket.
2122
01:59:19,277 --> 01:59:22,195
He swerved the car to avoid a porcupine
and drove straight into...
2123
01:59:22,363 --> 01:59:24,072
You can't do that.
2124
01:59:24,448 --> 01:59:25,949
A large tree.
2125
01:59:26,993 --> 01:59:29,786
- You cannot do that!
- NICK: Oh, my God.
2126
01:59:29,954 --> 01:59:33,123
- GEORGE: I thought you should know.
- No. No!
2127
01:59:33,332 --> 01:59:35,250
You cannot do that!
2128
01:59:35,585 --> 01:59:38,587
You can't decide these things
for yourself.
2129
01:59:38,963 --> 01:59:40,714
I will not let you do that.
2130
01:59:40,923 --> 01:59:42,924
I have to leave around noon, I suppose.
2131
01:59:43,092 --> 01:59:45,135
MARTHA:
I will not let you decide these things.
2132
01:59:45,303 --> 01:59:46,761
Because there are
matters of identification,
2133
01:59:46,929 --> 01:59:48,680
naturally, and arrangements to be made.
2134
01:59:48,848 --> 01:59:51,183
You can't do this!
I won't let you do this!
2135
01:59:51,767 --> 01:59:54,769
- Get your hands off me!
- Well, I haven't done anything!
2136
01:59:54,937 --> 01:59:57,105
Now, you listen to me. Our son is dead!
2137
01:59:57,273 --> 01:59:59,858
- Can you get that through your head?
- (YELLS INDISTINCTLY) Let go of me!
2138
02:00:00,026 --> 02:00:02,319
Listen to me carefully. We got a telegram.
2139
02:00:02,486 --> 02:00:05,238
There was a car accident and he's dead!
Poof.
2140
02:00:05,406 --> 02:00:07,324
Just like that! Now, how do you like it?
2141
02:00:09,118 --> 02:00:11,328
No!
2142
02:00:11,704 --> 02:00:13,622
All right, Let go now.
She'll be all right.
2143
02:00:15,625 --> 02:00:17,459
(WEEPING)
2144
02:00:21,380 --> 02:00:22,672
No.
2145
02:00:23,424 --> 02:00:26,718
No. He is not dead. (SOBBING)
2146
02:00:27,511 --> 02:00:29,596
He is not dead.
2147
02:00:29,764 --> 02:00:31,306
GEORGE: He is dead.
2148
02:00:31,515 --> 02:00:33,225
(SPEAKING IN LATIN)
2149
02:00:33,559 --> 02:00:35,435
You cannot.
2150
02:00:36,062 --> 02:00:37,979
You cannot decide.
2151
02:00:39,273 --> 02:00:41,024
He hasn't decided anything, lady.
2152
02:00:41,192 --> 02:00:42,984
It's not his doing.
2153
02:00:43,152 --> 02:00:44,486
He doesn't have the power.
2154
02:00:44,654 --> 02:00:46,947
GEORGE: That's right. I'm not a God.
2155
02:00:47,114 --> 02:00:49,908
I don't have any power
over life and death, do I?
2156
02:00:50,910 --> 02:00:53,203
- You can't kill him.
- Lady.
2157
02:00:53,371 --> 02:00:56,831
- You can't let him die!
- Lady, please.
2158
02:00:57,124 --> 02:00:59,251
You can't.
2159
02:01:00,753 --> 02:01:02,212
There was a telegram, Martha.
2160
02:01:06,008 --> 02:01:09,219
Show it to me. Show me that telegram.
2161
02:01:14,350 --> 02:01:15,767
I ate it.
2162
02:01:16,519 --> 02:01:18,687
What did you just say to me?
2163
02:01:19,730 --> 02:01:22,357
I ate it.
2164
02:01:25,903 --> 02:01:27,445
Good for you, Martha.
2165
02:01:27,613 --> 02:01:30,653
That's the way to treat her at a time
like this? Making a lousy goddamn joke?
2166
02:01:30,783 --> 02:01:32,223
Did I eat the telegram or did I not?
2167
02:01:32,326 --> 02:01:35,370
Yes, yes, you ate it.
I watched you and you ate it all down.
2168
02:01:35,538 --> 02:01:37,956
- Like a good boy.
- Like a good boy, yes.
2169
02:01:38,124 --> 02:01:40,667
You're not gonna get away with this.
2170
02:01:42,211 --> 02:01:44,691
You know the rules, Martha,
for God's sake. You know the rules.
2171
02:01:44,755 --> 02:01:47,424
- No.
- What are you two talking about?
2172
02:01:47,591 --> 02:01:50,427
- I can kill him if I want to.
- He is our child.
2173
02:01:50,594 --> 02:01:52,387
Yes, you bore him. It was a good delivery.
2174
02:01:52,555 --> 02:01:53,972
He is our child.
2175
02:01:54,140 --> 02:01:55,390
And I have killed him.
2176
02:01:55,558 --> 02:01:57,559
- No.
- Yes.
2177
02:01:57,727 --> 02:02:00,312
Oh, my God, I think I understand this.
2178
02:02:00,813 --> 02:02:01,813
Do you?
2179
02:02:01,981 --> 02:02:04,441
NICK: Oh, my God,
I think I understand this.
2180
02:02:04,608 --> 02:02:05,734
Good for you, buster.
2181
02:02:06,110 --> 02:02:09,237
Oh, my God, I think I understand this.
2182
02:02:10,489 --> 02:02:13,700
You've no right. You've no right at all.
2183
02:02:13,868 --> 02:02:16,828
I have the right, Martha.
We never spoke about it, that's all.
2184
02:02:17,038 --> 02:02:18,518
I could kill him
any time I wanted to.
2185
02:02:18,581 --> 02:02:20,290
Why? Why?
2186
02:02:20,541 --> 02:02:21,833
You broke our rule, Martha.
2187
02:02:22,001 --> 02:02:25,754
You mentioned him.
You mentioned him to somebody else.
2188
02:02:25,921 --> 02:02:28,256
- I did not.
- Yes, you did.
2189
02:02:28,424 --> 02:02:31,134
Who? Who?
2190
02:02:31,302 --> 02:02:34,012
To me, you mentioned him to me.
2191
02:02:34,597 --> 02:02:35,597
(GROANS)
2192
02:02:36,557 --> 02:02:38,141
I forget.
2193
02:02:38,934 --> 02:02:43,146
Sometimes when it's night and it's late
and everybody else is talking,
2194
02:02:43,314 --> 02:02:45,273
I forget and I want to mention him.
2195
02:02:45,441 --> 02:02:47,025
But I hold on.
2196
02:02:47,276 --> 02:02:48,735
I hold on.
2197
02:02:49,820 --> 02:02:52,781
But I've wanted to so often.
2198
02:02:53,407 --> 02:02:55,450
George, you've pushed it.
2199
02:02:56,118 --> 02:02:59,621
There was no need,
there was no need for this.
2200
02:03:00,623 --> 02:03:02,957
I mentioned him, all right?
2201
02:03:03,626 --> 02:03:06,628
But you didn't have to
push it over the edge.
2202
02:03:07,004 --> 02:03:09,422
You didn't have to kill him.
2203
02:03:10,049 --> 02:03:11,674
(SOBBING)
2204
02:03:12,468 --> 02:03:13,635
(SPEAKING IN LATIN)
2205
02:03:14,512 --> 02:03:15,637
Amen.
2206
02:03:17,098 --> 02:03:20,809
You didn't have to have him die.
2207
02:03:21,227 --> 02:03:23,228
(SPEAKING IN LATIN)
2208
02:03:26,232 --> 02:03:29,150
That wasn't needed.
2209
02:03:40,246 --> 02:03:42,247
(MARTHA CONTINUES SOBBING)
2210
02:03:58,597 --> 02:04:00,056
It's dawn.
2211
02:04:01,684 --> 02:04:03,685
I think the party's over.
2212
02:04:09,608 --> 02:04:11,609
You couldn't have any?
2213
02:04:13,779 --> 02:04:15,238
We couldn't.
2214
02:04:16,198 --> 02:04:17,866
We couldn't.
2215
02:04:19,994 --> 02:04:23,204
Home to bed, children.
It's way past your bedtime.
2216
02:04:27,293 --> 02:04:28,543
Honey.
2217
02:04:29,962 --> 02:04:31,045
Yes?
2218
02:04:33,716 --> 02:04:35,383
You two go now.
2219
02:04:36,844 --> 02:04:37,886
Yes.
2220
02:04:38,053 --> 02:04:39,179
Yes.
2221
02:04:49,523 --> 02:04:51,649
- I'd like to...
- Goodnight.
2222
02:05:09,585 --> 02:05:10,585
(GEORGE EXHALES)
2223
02:05:18,427 --> 02:05:20,094
You want anything?
2224
02:05:21,180 --> 02:05:23,139
No. Nothing.
2225
02:05:24,600 --> 02:05:25,934
All right.
2226
02:05:28,437 --> 02:05:30,104
Time for bed.
2227
02:05:30,773 --> 02:05:31,898
Yes.
2228
02:05:36,529 --> 02:05:37,779
Tired?
2229
02:05:38,113 --> 02:05:39,239
Yes.
2230
02:05:40,282 --> 02:05:41,449
I am.
2231
02:05:42,743 --> 02:05:43,868
Yes.
2232
02:05:50,751 --> 02:05:52,460
Sunday tomorrow.
2233
02:05:54,630 --> 02:05:55,964
All day.
2234
02:05:57,633 --> 02:05:58,800
Yes.
2235
02:06:27,997 --> 02:06:28,997
(SNIFFLES)
2236
02:06:32,001 --> 02:06:33,293
Did you...
2237
02:06:33,460 --> 02:06:35,461
Did you have to?
2238
02:06:37,506 --> 02:06:38,590
Yes.
2239
02:06:40,676 --> 02:06:41,926
It was...
2240
02:06:43,429 --> 02:06:45,054
You had to?
2241
02:06:46,140 --> 02:06:47,265
Yes.
2242
02:06:51,437 --> 02:06:53,062
I don't know.
2243
02:06:56,108 --> 02:06:58,568
- It was time.
- Was it?
2244
02:07:00,362 --> 02:07:01,529
Yes.
2245
02:07:09,622 --> 02:07:10,955
I'm cold.
2246
02:07:13,626 --> 02:07:14,959
It's late.
2247
02:07:15,502 --> 02:07:16,586
Yes.
2248
02:07:27,222 --> 02:07:28,931
It will be better.
2249
02:07:32,061 --> 02:07:33,728
I don't know.
2250
02:07:34,647 --> 02:07:36,773
It will be. Maybe.
2251
02:07:38,817 --> 02:07:41,277
I'm not sure.
2252
02:07:43,405 --> 02:07:44,530
No.
2253
02:07:49,495 --> 02:07:50,953
Just us?
2254
02:07:52,081 --> 02:07:53,164
Yes.
2255
02:07:55,167 --> 02:07:56,876
- You don't suppose maybe...
- No.
2256
02:07:57,044 --> 02:07:58,169
Yes.
2257
02:08:00,089 --> 02:08:01,214
No.
2258
02:08:10,891 --> 02:08:12,725
- You all right?
- Yes.
2259
02:08:18,399 --> 02:08:19,482
No.
2260
02:08:24,530 --> 02:08:29,242
♪ Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Virginia Woolf, Virginia Woolf? ♪
2261
02:08:30,285 --> 02:08:32,120
I am, George.
2262
02:08:32,788 --> 02:08:35,206
♪ Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf? ♪
2263
02:08:35,374 --> 02:08:36,999
I am, George.
2264
02:08:38,627 --> 02:08:39,919
I am.
2265
02:10:54,805 --> 02:10:55,805
English-SDH
175425
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