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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:08,040
This programme contains
strong language
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00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:11,400
MUSIC: Bang A Gong (Get It On)
-By T.
-Rex
3
00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:17,600
TURNS MUSIC DOWN
4
00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:23,600
Look... You know, you don't
have to go to Tommy's tonight.
5
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,560
We could stay in, watch a film.
6
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,960
I have to go. No, you don't.
7
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You can just, you know, blame me.
8
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Tell them I won't let you out.
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I want to go.
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OK.
11
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:41,520
And do they? You know, I mean,
have you told them about...
12
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:42,920
My cancerous testicle?
13
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:45,600
No.
14
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:51,640
Look, I know it's scary, OK?
15
00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,480
But God's looking out for us.
16
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:56,800
He wasn't looking out for Dad.
17
00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,760
Look, I know you said you didn't
want to talk to a priest,
18
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:07,080
but I could still ask Father Donal
to have a chat with you.
19
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:08,560
'Does she know I'm dying?'
20
00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:12,080
You know everything still might
be 100%, it could be fine -
21
00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:15,320
it probably is fine - but he's...
He is a really good listener.
22
00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:16,760
Honestly, he really helped me...
23
00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,960
'Did the doctor tell her
something already?'
24
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:21,400
After your father died, you know.
25
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:25,520
We got through that,
and we can get through this.
26
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:26,720
'Shite.'
27
00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:30,800
I can walk from here.
28
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,960
Don't be silly,
I'll drop you to the door.
29
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,040
I'm not dead yet.
30
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:38,440
Don't you say that, Michael!
That's not funny.
31
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:53,000
Right, I'm going to be
waiting up, OK?
32
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,280
So you watch yourself.
Don't be doing anything stupid.
33
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,040
I need you for that
fundraiser tomorrow.
34
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:58,280
What fundraiser?
35
00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,360
For Motor Neurone Disease,
in the parish hall.
36
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:04,680
You never listen to a word I say,
do you?
37
00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,000
Go on.
38
00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:15,280
'Mum knows I'm going to die.
39
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:19,680
'She has to, or why would
she bring up all that stuff?
40
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,320
'Fuck it. Everyone dies.
41
00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:22,960
'They just don't think about it.
42
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,960
'So I'll just put it out of my mind.
43
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,720
'This is going to be a big night.
44
00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:29,760
'My last party with the lads.
45
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,720
'My last chance to get with Rachael.
46
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:34,840
'I'm not going to die a virgin.'
47
00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,280
RINGS DOORBELL
48
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:38,200
'Giant ball or no giant ball.
49
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:41,560
'This is it. This is going to be
the best night ever.
50
00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,760
'Let's do it! Let's fucking do it!'
51
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:46,640
Vol-au-vent?
52
00:02:58,120 --> 00:02:59,960
Red, white, blue and orange.
53
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:02,120
Very Unionist colours
in Settlers of Catan.
54
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,040
Surprised your da lets it
in the house.
55
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:06,920
Lads, this is bollocks.
There's no drink!
56
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,480
Why is there no drink?
57
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,240
My cousin's bringing it.
He's on his way.
58
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,880
Well, when's he going to get here?
And where's everyone else?
59
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,200
Jesus, calm yer baps.
Rachael'll be here soon,
60
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,920
and my bedroom's always free.
61
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:20,200
Well, unless Conor's
giving Niamh a good buckin'.
62
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:25,040
Well, actually Niamh might
not be able to make it.
63
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,880
Surprise surprise!
64
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,920
And, anyway, I wouldn't buck her
in your room.
65
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:31,080
You've probably cameras hidden
so you can watch.
66
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,200
Aye, I've got videos of me
bucking your ma!
67
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:34,440
As if my ma would go near you...
68
00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,480
How can we have sex
without her seeing my ball?
69
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,200
I could just keep my trousers on.
70
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,920
No, don't think about it!
71
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,440
Mick.
72
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,720
Mick, what colour do you want to be?
73
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,000
Lads, I didn't come here
to sit around
74
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,520
playing Loyalist board games
all night.
75
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,600
DOORBELL RINGS
Thank fuck!
76
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,960
Big Dick Mick!
77
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,760
All right, Micky-boy.
78
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,440
Danny!
I didn't know you were coming.
79
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:04,640
Don't worry.
80
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:06,760
I'm not your sister's spy, Mick.
81
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,680
Whatever happens at the party,
stays at the party.
82
00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:11,120
Let's go.
83
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,760
Come on, lads.
84
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,520
Cheers!
85
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,800
ALL: Cheers!
86
00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,560
Let the party begin.
87
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,080
DANCE MUSIC
88
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,840
Let's just go for it. One, two...
89
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:36,840
CHEERING
90
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:53,280
RAUCOUS CHATTER
91
00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:54,480
THEY CHEER
92
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:07,680
Tommy. What?
93
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:08,920
They're here.
94
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:11,960
You ready, Mick?
95
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:16,800
Big time.
96
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,440
Rachael!
97
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:21,720
Hi, Mick.
98
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:24,280
You look amazing. Thanks.
99
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:26,360
Do you want a drink? Yeah.
100
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,320
Erm, do you have any cider?
101
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,200
Absolutely. Coming right up.
Come on.
102
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,680
Yeahhh!
103
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:42,080
You got a drink for me, buddy?
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
104
00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:46,600
Thanks.
105
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,640
I'll get mine myself then, will I?
106
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,920
Oh, shit, yeah. Sorry.
107
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,400
Down it, boy! Down it!
108
00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,240
How about we go somewhere
a bit quieter - just us?
109
00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,000
Yeah, I'd like that.
110
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,880
Cheers. Cheers.
111
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,960
Hey! Slow down.
112
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,840
Ah, shit. Shit.
113
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:24,880
Sorry.
114
00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:28,320
Mick.
115
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:29,960
It's OK.
116
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:32,360
Breathe.
117
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,760
Just...sit.
118
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,480
Yeah. Sorry.
119
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:52,960
OK.
120
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,240
So...
121
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,960
Um... You like me?
122
00:06:58,360 --> 00:06:59,880
I thought that was obvious!
123
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:02,960
No, but, like, properly?
124
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,840
Like, actually like me?
125
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:09,560
Yeah.
126
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,080
Yeah, I do.
127
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:12,120
Good.
128
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,000
Because, you know,
I think I like you.
129
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,320
And you know how I've never done
anything before?
130
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,480
Well, I think I'd like to.
131
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,160
With you.
132
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,600
If you wanted?
133
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:58,120
'Can't let her see the ball!
134
00:07:58,120 --> 00:08:01,040
'My horrible, giant, cancerous ball,
135
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,720
'which is going to kill me.
136
00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:09,160
'God, she smells amazing,
and feels fuckin'...
137
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,360
'And I'm going to die.
138
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,800
'Oh, my God, it's happening.
139
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,800
'I could do this forever.
140
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,680
'But I can't. This is it.
141
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:22,200
'Then it's over. Just death.
142
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,640
'And fuckin'...nothing!'
143
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,240
I'm sorry, I can't.
You don't want this.
144
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,720
What? Yeah, I do. I like you.
145
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,600
I can't. It's not fair,
I should never have...
146
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,000
What the hell, Mick?!
147
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,480
First you're all over me, and now
you're just pushing me away?
148
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,240
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
149
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,160
SHE SIGHS
150
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,160
LOUD MUSIC
151
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:58,840
What the hell, Mick?
152
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,920
Oh, come on, we're here to have fun.
153
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,520
Jesus Christ, Mick!
154
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,600
You guys are shit. Come on!
Piss off.
155
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:26,280
Siobhan. Would you stop telling
everyone I'm your girlfriend?
156
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,920
But we went out!
157
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:29,120
Once! And I only did that
158
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,560
cos Rachael wanted to get with
your stupid mate.
159
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:33,000
Whoa, whoa, where are you going?
160
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:35,960
You're pathetic, Tommy.
161
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,320
I can't even believe
I went on one date with you.
162
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,280
Out of my way.
163
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:42,760
Ah, just fuck off, Siobhan.
164
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:44,680
Don't talk to her like that.
165
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:48,520
What's your problem?
You're a prick, you know that?
166
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,880
Come on, Siobhan.
They're as bad as each other.
167
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,280
I really liked her.
168
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,480
Sometimes there's nothing
else you can do.
169
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,000
I just don't know
how to talk to girls.
170
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,320
Life's fucked.
171
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:25,520
Yep.
172
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,400
You'll be all right.
173
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:36,840
Aye?
174
00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:40,040
You'll be going to
hundreds more parties.
175
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,520
You've got time to do anything
you want, Tommy.
176
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:46,440
Go to uni, drive a car,
177
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:47,880
get the ride.
178
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:53,480
Get a proper girlfriend,
go fuckin...inter-railing!
179
00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:57,320
You've got it all in front of you.
180
00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,440
You're right, Mick.
181
00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:01,520
Fuck 'em.
182
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,760
We'll be grand. Aye.
183
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:11,560
Are you all right?
184
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:14,320
Tommy, I don't know.
185
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:15,600
Mick?
186
00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:19,560
I think I'm... What?
187
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:25,880
I think I'm going to boke.
188
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:28,160
Ah, shit! The downstairs bog, Mick!
189
00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,960
BANGING ON DOOR
190
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:33,920
Piss off! I'm having a poo!
191
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:35,320
Shit. Right, upstairs!
192
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:38,040
HE RETCHES
193
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,080
Out the front door!
Out the front...
194
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,040
No!
195
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,680
SLOW MOTION: For fuck's sake, Mick!
196
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:57,800
Hey, stop taking photos.
197
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,080
Stop taking photos.
198
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,640
Come on.
199
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,640
Stop filming him!
Stop. Put that away!
200
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:07,800
Get up now.
201
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,160
Mick! Mick, get up.
202
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,160
We'll get you cleaned up.
Leave me alone.
203
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:15,080
Let's get you inside, Mick, come on.
Get off me!
204
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,200
What's wrong Mick? Why are you being
such a dick tonight?
205
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:20,520
I'm not a dick! Stop being a bitch!
206
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,480
ALL: Oooh!
207
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:26,080
You know what? Fuck you! I was
going to give you another chance,
208
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,640
but clearly I'm wasting my time.
209
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:29,760
No, Rachael... Nah, Mick.
210
00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:31,520
I'm done. Please!
211
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:33,320
I've got cancer!
212
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:55,480
Mick! Where are you?
213
00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,520
Mick?
214
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:05,920
KNOCK AT DOOR
215
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,160
Let us in, Mick.
216
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:08,600
Aye, come on.
217
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:12,520
Mick, open the door.
218
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,360
KNOCKS HARDER
Mick!
219
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,560
Look, we just want to talk to you.
220
00:13:17,560 --> 00:13:19,080
Come on, we're your mates.
221
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,360
Mick?
222
00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:35,040
Well?
223
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,240
Aye.
224
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,600
Cancer?
225
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:45,760
I don't know. Maybe.
226
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:48,520
Maybe?
227
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,760
I've got a swelling on my ball.
228
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:11,400
I was in for an ultrasound today.
They wouldn't tell me what it is.
229
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,120
It might be cancer.
230
00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,640
It might be something else.
I don't know.
231
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:33,080
So...you don't have a big dick?
232
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,400
Well, I mean, it's not tiny!
233
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,480
That's the best news
I've heard all week!
234
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,880
Do you have any idea how pathetic
235
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,920
we felt next to you
and your massive schlong?
236
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,160
THEY CHUCKLE
237
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:55,120
Why didn't you tell us?
238
00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,400
I don't know.
239
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:05,000
Yeah. We would have been there,
like.
240
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,080
CRYING
241
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,080
Gis some bog roll.
242
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:36,960
Fuck's sake, like.
243
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,440
Making us cry!
244
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,120
Sorry.
245
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:49,200
You're not going to die, are you?
246
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,880
I don't know.
247
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,160
I'm sorry.
248
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,640
You don't need to be sorry.
249
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:19,840
You're right. I'm a dick.
250
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,080
You're not, Mick.
251
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:23,960
I'm sorry I said that.
252
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,040
Jesus, you might have cancer.
253
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:29,440
I should have told you.
254
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,360
Well, I know now.
255
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:35,560
Yeah.
256
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,120
You and everyone else.
257
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:42,800
Look, this is too much. I can't be
here. It's OK, Mick, it's OK.
258
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:46,720
Come with me.
259
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,840
Jesus, Rachael! What the hell?!
260
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,160
Whoa, sorry!
261
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:57,880
Danny?
262
00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:01,160
Mick, there's no point in telling
your sister about this.
263
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:02,680
Right, big lad?
264
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:06,720
Fuck you!
265
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,120
Fuck you, Mick! Fuck! Danny!
266
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,240
Mick?
267
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:15,480
For fuck's sake!
268
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,200
HE GROANS
269
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,120
BACKGROUND TV SOUND
270
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:24,800
LOUD KNOCK AT DOOR
271
00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:36,920
Mrs Campbell? A-ha.
272
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,720
I believe this one's yours.
273
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,280
Jesus Christ!
274
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:05,400
Any chance you could look
a wee bit less hungover?
275
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:08,320
You're putting people off the cakes.
I'll try my best.
276
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,760
Look, I know you're going through
a lot with everything,
277
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,160
but getting blind drunk
is not going to help. OK?
278
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:15,200
I just don't want to die, all right?
279
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,680
Oh, these look lovely.
280
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,920
Finn, could you help this
gentleman, please?
281
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:28,280
Mick!
282
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:33,880
Oh, Jesus.
283
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,280
Yeah, I know. I stink!
284
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,120
Did you tell her? No.
285
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,560
She'll never listen to me.
286
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,400
All right? Jesus!
287
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,360
You look like you're on the run.
I'm absolutely dying.
288
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,800
Shit, no. Not like DYING dying.
289
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,000
It's grand.
290
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,120
Thank you all very much for coming.
Oh, shit.
291
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,160
There's a bin over behind Finn.
292
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:05,400
..wonderful housekeeper
and organiser of this event,
293
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,120
Patricia Campbell.
294
00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:08,320
APPLAUSE
295
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:10,280
Da, we can't go in.
The priest is talking.
296
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,120
I don't care if the priest
is talking, Tommy!
297
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:14,600
Sorry, is everything OK down there?
298
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,320
What do you think you're doing,
vomiting all over my house?
299
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,240
Did you know there was
sick in the keyhole?
300
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,880
I had to poke it out with a coat
hanger. And the carpet's ruined.
301
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,720
Don't you talk to my son like that!
How dare you accuse him of anything!
302
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,400
Can't you raise your son properly?
303
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,520
And don't you question my parenting!
304
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,440
I am raising three kids on my own
305
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,520
and I'm doing it a damn sight
better than you.
306
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,920
What do you think you're doing,
leaving children in a house
307
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,360
on their own without coming back
to check on them?
308
00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:39,560
You're lucky nobody died.
Now get out! Now!
309
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:43,880
Right.
310
00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:57,720
Sorry about that, everybody...
311
00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:00,640
I can't believe your mum
stood up to a RA man.
312
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,640
For the last time,
my dad's not in the RA!
313
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:04,800
He definitely was.
314
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,680
He's a Protestant, for fuck's sake!
315
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,320
..will go to The Foundation
for Motor Neurone Disease.
316
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,960
Jesus, they'll let
anyone into the RA these days.
317
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,720
Hello. Right, I won't keep yous.
318
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:18,440
I just wanted to thank you all for
coming here today and helping us
319
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:22,240
raise money for the Foundation
for Motor Neurone Disease.
320
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:25,760
Erm, the support we got
from the parish
321
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,880
after Jimmy died was incredible.
322
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,800
And, erm, if it wasn't for that,
323
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:34,240
I don't think I could have
got through it.
324
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:41,160
When we got the news
that he was sick,
325
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:42,680
well...
326
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,880
It was hard. It was hard.
327
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:54,640
You feel like you can't do anything.
328
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,600
You can't do anything but watch
your loved one in pain,
329
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:04,520
and you just want to protect them,
but you can't.
330
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:09,360
All you can do is...
331
00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:13,080
..support them and help them
in any way you can.
332
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,080
And that's what you've
all done here today.
333
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,120
And I know that Jimmy's up there,
334
00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:22,960
and he would be so grateful for
all the kindness and support.
335
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,640
And probably calling me a fool
for getting a wee bit emotional!
336
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:29,680
So I'll just end it there, and
I just wanted to say... So, yeah,
337
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,520
so thank you all. Thank you.
338
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,240
APPLAUSE
339
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,840
Do you want to go outside? Yeah?
340
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,800
Are you all right?
341
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,760
Yeah. Come here.
342
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,000
Get a room!
343
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:07,360
Come on, let's go back in.
No. I'm sorting this out.
344
00:22:07,360 --> 00:22:09,800
You should listen
to your brother, you know.
345
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:10,880
Excuse me?
346
00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,000
Danny cheated on you with
my best friend last night.
347
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,720
What? We saw them doing it.
348
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,600
And then Mick tried to stand
up for you, and Danny hit him.
349
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:19,920
No, I didn't.
350
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,040
It's all lies, Lucy, she's lying.
351
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:25,000
What the hell, Danny?
Are they telling the truth? No!
352
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:27,840
Did you hit my brother?
353
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:30,720
You're a scumbag,
hitting a boy with cancer.
354
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:33,800
Sorry. What?!
355
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:35,720
I've got a swelling on my testicle.
356
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,520
Me and mum,
we didn't want to tell anyone.
357
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,480
What do you mean, you
didn't want to tell anyone?
358
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,040
I'm your sister, for Christ's sake!
359
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:43,040
It got out last night at the party.
360
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:45,560
Wait, is that where you two
have been going? The hospital?
361
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,680
Look, Lucy,
don't be listening to this.
362
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:50,040
Oh, fuck off, Danny!
And don't come near me.
363
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,600
You're emotional, right?
364
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:56,000
Don't be getting...
365
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:58,520
Fuck.
366
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:00,560
And you're a cheating prick!
367
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,480
And if you touch my brother again,
I'll rip your balls off.
368
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,520
Lucy, I'm just...
369
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:08,880
What about us?
370
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,120
What about our tattoos?
371
00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:13,240
The tattoos look shit!
372
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,000
Why didn't you tell me?
373
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,280
I'm sorry.
374
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,680
But you're going to be all right?
You're not, like...
375
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:24,680
I mean, you'll be able to sort it?
376
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,480
I don't know. I find out next week.
377
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,200
Oh, my God.
378
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,040
Oh, my God, Mick!
379
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:35,600
I'm sorry.
380
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:37,800
I'm so, so sorry!
381
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,600
It's OK.
382
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,000
It's all going to be OK.
383
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:53,120
Michael. Thank you for coming in.
384
00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:55,400
So, we have your test results here.
385
00:23:56,520 --> 00:24:01,000
The swelling on your
testicle is, um...
386
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,920
'Cancer. It's cancer. Just tell me.
Just tell me I'm dead.'
387
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,560
Fluid. What?
388
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:08,280
What? What?
389
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,560
Fluid.
390
00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:12,360
Must be about 400ml
by the looks of it.
391
00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:13,600
Cancer fluid?
392
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:16,600
It's a hydrocele.
393
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,280
A what? What's that?
394
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:21,640
It's a build-up of fluid
in the innermost membrane
395
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:23,680
surrounding your testicle.
396
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:27,360
It can be caused by a defection
in the absorbing mechanism.
397
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:28,640
Is it cancer?
398
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,280
No. It's perfectly harmless.
399
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:36,000
Oh, my God! That is just...
Oh, that's brilliant news.
400
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,320
Thank you, thank you so much.
401
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,320
And...and what do we do now, then?
402
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,160
Well, we have two options.
403
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:43,360
There's surgery.
404
00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:46,040
'I'm not letting some surgeon
poke around my ball sack.'
405
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:47,360
What's the other option?
406
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:52,040
Well, we can insert a needle
and let the fluid drain out.
407
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:55,960
The only problem there is it might
come back, in which case
408
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:59,040
we'd have to keep needling it
every year or so.
409
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:02,040
Surgery!
410
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:06,720
OK, Michael, I want you to
count backwards from ten.
411
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:12,160
Ten, nine, eight,
412
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:15,360
seven, six...
413
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:32,560
All right, son.
414
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,560
Dad.
415
00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:43,680
I'm proud of you going through
everything that you have.
416
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:45,000
It's not easy.
417
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:47,560
It was pretty grim.
418
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:50,280
But you're getting through it.
419
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,440
No doubt you had your mum
worried sick.
420
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:56,680
Yeah.
421
00:25:58,160 --> 00:25:59,640
She's a wild worrier.
422
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,360
I don't know how she held
it together
423
00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:04,960
with you three when I was dying.
424
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:10,560
But she did. She did everything.
425
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,120
You make sure and thank her.
426
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:18,640
I will, Da. Good man.
427
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:24,000
Mick? Speak of the devil.
Time for you to get up.
428
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:26,840
What?
429
00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:28,320
Mick?
430
00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:31,240
Mick?
431
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,680
Mum.
432
00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,400
Lord bless us and save us.
433
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:42,040
You all right?
434
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:43,280
You're awake.
435
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:46,200
You did it. It's over.
436
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:51,600
Have you been here the whole time?
437
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,360
Not the whole time!
438
00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:55,160
I've got a life, too, you know!
439
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,240
Thanks, Mum. What for?
440
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:02,560
For helping me.
441
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,040
Ach, sure I didn't do anything.
442
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,440
Except maybe light a few
candles for you at mass.
443
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,960
No, Mum. Seriously.
444
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,040
Well...
445
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,160
..I'm your mum.
446
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,840
And thanks for everything you did,
447
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,640
like, when Dad died. You know?
448
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:27,880
I don't know how you done it.
449
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,400
Well, sure,
450
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,560
I had to get on with it, you know?
451
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:42,040
He loved you all so much.
452
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,160
I remember after he died
people kept saying to me,
453
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:51,680
"You're so lucky to have those kids.
You're so lucky to have them".
454
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,920
And I just kept thinking,
"I wish I had none of yous."
455
00:27:56,520 --> 00:28:01,600
It was the burden.
No, no, the responsibility.
456
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:08,040
I didn't know how I could be there
for yous when I was in bits myself.
457
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:13,080
I missed him.
458
00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,680
I missed him so much.
459
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:23,160
I... I didn't know if I could be
strong enough for yous, you know?
460
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:24,920
But sure...
461
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:26,880
..that's what he wanted in the end,
you know,
462
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:28,600
"Make sure you're
there for them, Pat.
463
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:31,240
"Make sure you're there for them."
464
00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:35,000
I tried. Lord knows I tried.
465
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,080
I couldn't bring him back for you,
466
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,840
but, sure, I could
do everything else.
467
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:50,360
Ach...
468
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,200
..your dad was a great man, Michael.
469
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,040
I know.
470
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,040
Right.
471
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,560
Let's see about
getting you out of here.
472
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:10,560
We can't have you staying here
too long, getting used to being
473
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:14,240
waited on hand and foot.
Don't want you getting any ideas!
474
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:15,320
BUZZER
475
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:19,960
Yeoooo! Careful, boys! Careful!
476
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:21,880
Ah, easy. I'm fragile!
477
00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:24,040
Did the doctor touch your balls?
478
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:25,800
I bet you jizzed everywhere,
did you?
479
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,760
Any more of that talk, Tommy,
and you'll be out.
480
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:28,960
Sorry, Mrs Campbell.
481
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:31,240
Are you all right, though?
482
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:32,840
It's not too sore?
483
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,880
Yeah, but I'm OK.
484
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:37,640
And they still work OK?
485
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,200
I fuckin' hope so!
486
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:46,960
Made you a cake.
487
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:48,440
HE LAUGHS
488
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:51,560
Thanks. It's a masterpiece.
489
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:54,960
And, Mick, you're never going
to guess who this is.
490
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,040
Mick, this is Niamh.
491
00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:58,960
She's come up from Newry.
492
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:00,040
Hello.
493
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:05,680
THEY CHUCKLE
494
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:14,080
MUSIC: Jerk It Out
by Caesars
495
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:24,880
♪ Cos it's easy when
you know how it's done
496
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,880
♪ You can't stop now,
it's already begun
497
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:33,720
♪ You feel it runnin'
through your bones
498
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:35,920
♪ And you jerk it out. ♪
34213
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