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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:43,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 2 00:01:29,024 --> 00:01:30,514 Four days ago, 3 00:01:31,234 --> 00:01:32,682 I was still a fortunate man. 4 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:41,937 Thanks to my careful planning, my life was comfortable, sastifying, and perfect. 5 00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:48,193 Of course, I didn't look this pathetic. 6 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:56,075 Today, I was supposed to propose to my girfriend. 7 00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:58,710 But instead... 8 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:02,506 things got turned upside down. 9 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,925 PEKING 10 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,342 My parents always said to me, 11 00:02:10,422 --> 00:02:13,175 "If you don't plan to fail, then don't fail to plan." 12 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:17,100 And don't put off until tomorrow, what you can do today. 13 00:02:17,179 --> 00:02:19,523 It's all for a greater purpose. 14 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:22,772 And remember that the details are important. 15 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:25,855 Because you never know when you will meet someone important to you. 16 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:30,701 So I workout three times a week. I eat right. 17 00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:33,871 No matter if things are big or small, I treat them carefully 18 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:36,664 I have everything in my life under control. 19 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:41,667 There are no surprises. Well... almost none. 20 00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:46,926 The car salesman's handbook says there are three steps to success: 21 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:52,928 Start early, stay focused and finish with a smile. 22 00:02:55,467 --> 00:03:00,098 I know you probably think I'm boring, but I'm very happy with my life. 23 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:04,230 Especially because I have a great girlfriend. 24 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:08,985 With her, I have the most important plan of my life. 25 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:17,331 Hi, honey! What a coincidence. I was just thinking about you. 26 00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:21,627 I wanted to chat with you too. I got a job in LA. 27 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,045 America? 28 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,339 I'm working as an assisstant at Wronald Wright Productions. 29 00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:27,958 But I thought you wanted to be a lawyer? 30 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,921 Xiaoming, I think we should spend some time apart. 31 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:33,472 Break up? 32 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:37,222 Xiaoming, you're a great guy and I know had everything all planned out, 33 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:40,930 but I'm still figuring out my life. 34 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:45,108 I know this must be difficult. We can make plans, just not together. 35 00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:49,438 - Bye. - But, I already made plans... 36 00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:05,875 All my plans got messed up. There was only thing left to do... 37 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:23,681 Today we'll talk about the most popular reality TV show in America. 38 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,938 "Punch me". It's the #1 hit! 39 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:30,271 Punch me! Punch me! Punch me... 40 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:37,361 Oh, America... 41 00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:44,411 Hi, I'm actor Gary Buesheimer. Saving endangered species... 42 00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:48,505 This is Hollywood! We can do anything. 43 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:52,084 Can you get my girlfriend back? 44 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:10,227 Yan Yan? 45 00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:16,401 Ready? Set... 46 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:24,576 Yan Yan needs me. I'm coming! Wait for me, Yan Yan! I'm coming! 47 00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:29,668 I can't wait any longer! I'm going to America now! 48 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,214 Go! 49 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,337 Or maybe after I wake up. 50 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:43,056 Even in a daze, nothing was more in focus than my need, 51 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,557 to find a ticket to America. 52 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:53,104 Shit! Chinese New Year! I probably couldn't even get a ticket to the Great Wall! 53 00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:58,902 Everthing is booked. Time is running out. I have to get to Yan Yan. 54 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:03,531 As long as I could get Yan Yan back, I would even go to hell and back! 55 00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:08,335 But what idiot would by a ticket from such an ugly looking website? 56 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:14,166 This idiot... 57 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:23,976 Let me introduce myself. My name is Fang Dawei. You can just call me Dawei. 58 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,522 I'm Xiaoming. 59 00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:33,110 Oh yes, of course. 60 00:06:40,442 --> 00:06:43,116 Oh Do you know we're the only two in this tour departing from Beijing? 61 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:46,118 What a coincidence! Only two of us! 62 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:50,327 Looks like I'm not the only idiot. 63 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,536 Thank you. 64 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:55,841 No problem. Anytime you need help, just ask! We're on the same tour, we're best buddies! 65 00:06:56,791 --> 00:07:00,295 I'm really exhausted now. I really want to go to sleep. 66 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,932 - Good night. - Sorry, goodnight. 67 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:12,353 Wow! The house Drew Barrymore lived in, in "E.T."! 68 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:15,982 We'll be touring that! Do you know that E.T.? 69 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:19,406 "E.T." "Phone home." 70 00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:22,701 You know that extraterrestrial? Always pointing that finger? 71 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:27,907 E.T. is one of my top five favorite movies! What's your favorite movie? 72 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,332 I'm not part of the tour. 73 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:32,081 I'm going to LA to get my girlfriend back. 74 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,663 Getting your girlfriend back from LA? 75 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:39,259 If we were in a movie, I doubt your plan would go smoothly. 76 00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:40,927 But it could be the two of us, 77 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:44,097 on the road, encountering all kinds of strange situations. 78 00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:46,174 I'll be there supporting you all the way. 79 00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:49,136 I can be your wisecracking sidekick! 80 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:52,723 We could name our movie "Hollywood Adventures"! 81 00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:58,903 We're going to the Studios where "2 Broke Girls" is shot. 82 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:02,779 Did you know that? What's up, bitches? 83 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:06,570 My Kat Dennings! She's so hot! 84 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,247 Do you know that when "2 Broke Girls" premiered, 85 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:13,668 it was the highest-rated fall premiere in 10 years! Did you know that? 86 00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:21,878 - I have to use the bathroom. - Go for it! It's bad for you to hold your pee. 87 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:35,520 That guy is so annoying! All he talked about was movies. 88 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:38,067 If only life were a movie. 89 00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:42,068 At least movies are all scripted and there are no accidents. 90 00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,786 Open the door! 91 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,326 AIRPORT OF LOS ANGELES 92 00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:08,883 I'm Harvey Milsap, your translator. 93 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:12,595 Oh thank God! This is all a misunderstanding. 94 00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:17,729 I fell asleep in the plane's bathroom. I was so tired when I boarded the plane 95 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:21,232 This guy next to me kept talking in my ear, blah blah blah... I couldn't shut him up. 96 00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:24,281 so I went to the bathroom to take a nap. 97 00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,983 and then I woke up, and we landed. 98 00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:30,946 If you ask me to shut up and lock me in the bathroom, 99 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:32,997 I guarantee... 100 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:37,704 - you in jail! - What? 101 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:43,967 - Which flight did you take? - 1-3-1-4 to America. 102 00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:46,841 - Death? - What did he say about America? 103 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,264 He just said, "Death to America." 104 00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:52,309 Whatever surprise he has planned for our country, 105 00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:55,683 - Yes! - Oh, I'll dig it out of him. 106 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:05,406 Hollywood Adventures! Hey, everyone please come closer! Do not be shy! 107 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,528 Welcome to Hollywood Adventures. 108 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,360 My name is Wei Wei. I'll be your guide. 109 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,367 - It looks like we're still missing... - We are in trouble now! 110 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:17,246 My travel buddy, Xiaoming, he ate something bad on the plane, and had to stay in the bathroom all night. 111 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,919 Then he got taken away by police. 112 00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,005 Troublemaker! 113 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:42,109 I didn't know it yet, but a hurricane on two beautiful legs just walked into my life. 114 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,811 Long live His Majesty! 115 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:49,866 Please pardon me, Your Majesty! 116 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:54,530 Your Majesty! Please don't have me beheaded! 117 00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,574 "Your Majesty"? 118 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:02,083 You do know whose ass you're about to stick your hand up? 119 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:07,714 - He is the next emperor of China. - Who are you? 120 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:12,923 Listen and listen well: His Majesty's asshole is sacred. 121 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:17,056 Are you out of your mind? Let's be clear, I don't know this woman. 122 00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:20,560 Wait, China doesn't have an emperor. Do they? 123 00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:23,892 What? Everybody knows China has an emperor. 124 00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,568 Nod if you want to leave here soon. 125 00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,771 See? Everybody knows. 126 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,481 Nod if you also want to leave. 127 00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:34,578 Congratulations! You've just stepped into the middle of an international incident. 128 00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:40,705 - Oh, no! - It's all good! It's all good! 129 00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:47,341 Hey, I'm talking to you. What was that back there? I had everything under control! 130 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:51,045 - I'm talking to you! Who are you? - I just saved your miniscule life. 131 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:54,176 If it wasn't for me, you'd have been deported or worse. 132 00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:58,761 - But you don't have to thank me. - Are you kidding me? 133 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,016 This is definitely a romantic comedy. 134 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:05,066 Our two leading actors don't like each other from the start. Cool! 135 00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,486 - Shit down. - What did you say? 136 00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:11,902 Please sit down. 137 00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:22,084 - Hi! They sent us these as a gift. - This is my seat? 138 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:26,379 - Congratulation! A sweet couple! - Thank you. 139 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:34,133 Did you know the tickets are for the honeymoon package? 140 00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:14,261 Hi, Leave a message. 141 00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:20,593 Wow, It's just like in the movies. This place looks dangerous. 142 00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:33,944 You call that a five star hotel? More like a fleabag motel. 143 00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:36,070 Hey, theif! 144 00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,993 Do you need help? 145 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:43,164 Thief! Thief! Theif! 146 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:50,417 - I should've gone after them. - It'd be a piece of cake for you to catch them. 147 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,464 - Yeah, I could've! - Chill out. 148 00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:56,420 I brought a lot of clothes. You can borrow whatever you want. 149 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:34,166 Welcome to America. Ha! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! 150 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:37,919 My motto is: "Top-notch accommodations for top-notch people." 151 00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:41,969 Why does this guy look like HAN from "Fast and Furious"? 152 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:47,187 My name is Mr. Manny Love. I'm the manager of this wonderful establish... 153 00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:49,855 - Taxi? - Where's the fire, bro? 154 00:14:50,098 --> 00:14:52,351 There's no taxis in L.A. 155 00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:58,782 Hey, look. We can't let people from the tour group start wandering around. Alright? 156 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:02,202 It's a matter of liability. 157 00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:08,041 - I think he's saying you can't leave. - Yeah, I got that. 158 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,830 In fact, our insurance policy says that. 159 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:13,334 we gotta hold on to your valuables! 160 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,007 It's optional. It's up to you. But not really. 161 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:19,882 In exchange, you're gonna get a stack of this Manny Money voucher. 162 00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:23,340 And you can use these at any of our Hollywood Adventures stops. 163 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:27,553 Manny Money! Even has my picture on it, so you know they're legit. 164 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:29,512 Am I right? 165 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,188 Xiaoming... Why were you calling for a taxi? 166 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,023 I'm going to look for my girlfriend. 167 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:45,195 What do you mean by that? Were you trying to ditch me? 168 00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:48,456 I'm here to look for my girlfriend. 169 00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:52,377 Do you really think I'm here for a honeymoon with you? 170 00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,590 - Are you doing this on purpose? - No... 171 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:07,141 I didn't mean it earlier. Will you forgive me? 172 00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:11,600 I can't forgive you. I'm asleep. 173 00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:27,199 Come on down to Tommy's Golf Shop. We buy golf clubs! That's right! We buy... 174 00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:30,407 Punch me! Punch me! Yeah! 175 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:34,123 A long-time collaboration between film Director, Wronald Wright 176 00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:40,175 and the mega-popular international sensation actor Gary Buesheimer is over. 177 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:42,968 We know them as having collaborated on some of the top 178 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:46,639 box-office sensations for the last 10 years. 179 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:51,428 Rise from your slumber! Look alive! 180 00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:53,729 Well, that's all over now. 181 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:58,184 Because just after filming their latest hit, "Another Man's Kiss", 182 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,738 Wright caught Buesheimer in bed with his wife, 183 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:04,440 up-and-coming starlet Kelly Ashley. 184 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:08,370 Wow! Seems that endangered animals are't the only wild things 185 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:11,038 that Buesheimer likes to unleash. 186 00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:30,596 Oh, Kat Dennings, my goddess. 187 00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:38,312 - Okay, smile. - Oscar statue! 188 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,563 Say cheese! 189 00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:43,647 - It must be made of pure gold. - That's good. 190 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,277 Hi, leave a message. 191 00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:54,332 Hi, Yan Yan. It's me. I have something really important to tell you. 192 00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:02,882 This star has the most famous rodent in Hollywood. 193 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:05,301 - And you can take a picture. - Beauty. 194 00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:09,756 I think that squirrel is staring at me. Is it because I'm too good-looking? 195 00:18:09,839 --> 00:18:12,388 You're thinking too much. 196 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,808 Hi, leave a message. 197 00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:19,982 Hi, it's me again. I'm not sure why the phone got cut off earlier. 198 00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:23,652 I don't know if you got my last voicemail. Can you... 199 00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:27,402 Damnit! 200 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,444 Okay, time to go! 201 00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:35,199 Come on! We barely got to take any pictures! This isn't cool! 202 00:18:57,053 --> 00:19:00,227 - Put down your phone. - Why? 203 00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:07,193 Take it from a woman who knows, if she really misses you, she'll call you back. 204 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,373 Something is wrong here. 205 00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:23,459 Indiana Jones is not left-handed. This looks like a fake. 206 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,911 You! You you you! I'm talking to you! 207 00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:57,075 Stop! Theif! 208 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,582 - I got it! - Freeze! FBI! 209 00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:07,211 - Hands in the air! - Drop the bag! Drop the bag! 210 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:13,345 For the first time I wished Dawei was right. 211 00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:18,348 Why couldn't this just be a Hollywood movie, and not actually my life? 212 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,244 What a performance! So realistic! 213 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:41,119 - It's not a show! These are real guns! Stay down! - Real guns?!s 214 00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:00,510 - Xiaoming, do you need my help? - No! Worry about yourself! 215 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,897 Yan Yan! 216 00:21:34,335 --> 00:21:37,214 - I want my phone! - Do you want your life? 217 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:47,640 Captain America is back! 218 00:21:49,892 --> 00:21:51,769 Yes! 219 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:04,457 Hurry up! Go go go! 220 00:22:06,116 --> 00:22:07,914 I'm doomed, I missed her call! 221 00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:11,213 - Then ask them to stop so you can answer the phone! - Yeah! 222 00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:15,301 - Run! Real gun, real bullets! - Run fast! 223 00:22:20,965 --> 00:22:23,639 Hi, I'm Dawei! 224 00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:43,704 - Quick! Pass me that stick! - Xiaoming! 225 00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:48,117 Another one! Hurry up! 226 00:22:52,413 --> 00:22:56,259 Check if there's any other place we can escape! 227 00:23:05,259 --> 00:23:06,681 Screw it! 228 00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:23,695 "When it's time to jump, jump!" 229 00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:37,216 - Come over here! - Hurry up, Xiaoming! Do you need help? 230 00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:42,092 I have an idea. You're not the only one who watches movies! 231 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,090 Be careful! 232 00:23:57,478 --> 00:24:00,652 The bad guy is almost out! Move! 233 00:24:02,358 --> 00:24:04,611 Hurry up! 234 00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:12,001 Be careful! 235 00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:43,608 You're the worst tour guide ever! 236 00:24:43,691 --> 00:24:47,195 This was your "great" idea? 237 00:24:48,654 --> 00:24:52,033 Thanks for the soft landing, but I'm going to the police! 238 00:24:52,116 --> 00:24:55,370 Oh brilliant! Remember the airport? 239 00:24:55,452 --> 00:24:58,831 You think dealing with immigration was bad, wait untill you meet the LAPD 240 00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:04,924 Give me the bag! I'll get you out of here! 241 00:25:05,004 --> 00:25:08,429 - You think I'm stupid? - Just give me the bag! 242 00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:11,351 "Come with me if you want to live!" 243 00:25:36,410 --> 00:25:38,538 No way! 244 00:25:47,629 --> 00:25:49,757 Throw at him! 245 00:25:55,804 --> 00:25:58,023 Bigger! 246 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,442 Yes! 247 00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:21,919 - Who are those people? What the hell did they want? - That bag. 248 00:26:22,039 --> 00:26:25,509 Bag? Why don't we just give it to them? 249 00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:29,339 How about you give me the bag? 250 00:26:29,421 --> 00:26:31,924 And we'll go our separate ways. 251 00:26:32,007 --> 00:26:33,930 Not a chance. 252 00:26:43,018 --> 00:26:47,865 What is this? Are you trafficking drugs?! 253 00:26:50,943 --> 00:26:54,664 Rhino horn? Don't they use this to make combs? 254 00:26:54,738 --> 00:26:58,493 - Why risk your life for a stupid comb? - Actually buffalo horn is used for combs. 255 00:26:58,575 --> 00:27:01,499 Crushed rhino horn is an aphrodisiac. 256 00:27:01,578 --> 00:27:04,127 It costs a lot of money in America! 257 00:27:13,799 --> 00:27:17,099 So the tour was a cover for you. 258 00:27:17,177 --> 00:27:19,305 You sell horse-meat as beef-steak! 259 00:27:19,388 --> 00:27:23,643 You're actually running a smuggling ring! So everyone else on the tour was also part of your operation? 260 00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:28,026 - Yeah. Except the two of you. 261 00:27:28,105 --> 00:27:32,155 The plot twists too fast! If this were a movie, it'd be the kind 262 00:27:32,234 --> 00:27:35,704 that started shooting before the script was finished! 263 00:27:35,779 --> 00:27:41,127 What kind of person are you? You're a criminal disguided as a tour guide, I should turn you and this bag over to the police! 264 00:27:41,201 --> 00:27:44,501 - Hey, it's not like what you think! - I wish I had some Coca-Cola and popcorn. 265 00:27:44,580 --> 00:27:48,881 If you'd let me go yesterday, I would be with Yan Yan now! None of this would've happened! 266 00:27:48,959 --> 00:27:55,137 Hey! Hang on! You don't know the language or the city. But I do. 267 00:27:55,257 --> 00:28:00,263 How about this: You give me the bag, and I'll take you to your girlfriend. 268 00:28:02,556 --> 00:28:07,357 No! You take me to my girlfriend first, then I'll give you the bag. 269 00:28:09,062 --> 00:28:10,814 Fine. 270 00:28:12,065 --> 00:28:15,569 This is how we seal the deal in America. It's a deal now. 271 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:24,878 For Yan Yan. 272 00:28:29,124 --> 00:28:32,128 Key! Let's go! 273 00:28:44,473 --> 00:28:49,070 Oh, Agent Li, I don't think Interpol needs to be here. This is FBI jurisdiction. 274 00:28:49,144 --> 00:28:51,567 Before I brought this smuggling ring to your attention, 275 00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:54,446 they were operating with impunity, right under your furry nose. 276 00:28:54,524 --> 00:28:59,530 If I were you, I would not choose this particular moment to start taking responsibility. 277 00:29:00,530 --> 00:29:04,660 People, find me that Rhino horn! And then bring me the fools... 278 00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:07,087 ...who tried to take it! 279 00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:21,845 Holy crap! The Terminator T-1000! Let's leave! 280 00:29:21,927 --> 00:29:25,056 - He's just a security guard, okay? - No, he's the Terminator! 281 00:29:25,138 --> 00:29:28,142 he must have come back from the future to destroy all human beings! 282 00:29:28,225 --> 00:29:31,729 He's made of liquid metal, and can transform into anything! It's look like he's aging, 283 00:29:31,812 --> 00:29:33,780 But on the inside he's killing machine! Let's leave quick. 284 00:29:33,855 --> 00:29:38,326 - You've watched too many movies. They've rotted your brain. Calm down. - It's too dangerous to go there! 285 00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:40,992 No matter who he is, I must get in there! 286 00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:45,868 But that looks impossible. 287 00:29:48,245 --> 00:29:51,840 - I have an idea. - Be careful! 288 00:29:53,125 --> 00:29:55,344 This is really embarrassing. 289 00:29:55,419 --> 00:29:57,717 I don't think she can fool the T-1000. 290 00:29:57,796 --> 00:29:59,343 I messed up the tickets. 291 00:29:59,423 --> 00:30:03,269 I thought maybe if they could see the studio lot, 292 00:30:03,343 --> 00:30:06,392 I may not, you know, lose my job. 293 00:30:07,973 --> 00:30:10,351 Look at me, in this silly uniform. 294 00:30:10,434 --> 00:30:14,530 He's going to stab her eyes with his fingers! 295 00:30:26,366 --> 00:30:31,213 Whoa! Say, nice shoes. 296 00:30:35,459 --> 00:30:39,214 Just keep going! Make a right at the alien birthing facility! 297 00:30:39,296 --> 00:30:43,176 It's a big building, Wronald Wright Productions. You can't miss it. 298 00:30:43,383 --> 00:30:45,477 Did you get cream? 299 00:30:47,012 --> 00:30:50,266 I'll be back with the cream. 300 00:31:11,036 --> 00:31:16,167 Here we are. Nice doing business with you. Hopefully I'll see you next time! 301 00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:19,261 Not until we find Yan Yan! 302 00:31:19,336 --> 00:31:22,306 We had a deal. What if she's not here? 303 00:31:22,381 --> 00:31:25,885 - I thought I could trust you. - Ha! 304 00:31:27,094 --> 00:31:31,520 My Goddess! My goddess Kat Dennings! 305 00:31:31,598 --> 00:31:34,852 I also want to have a time trip with you! Even if there's no electricity or internet, 306 00:31:34,935 --> 00:31:37,358 or no movies and tv shows! 307 00:31:37,437 --> 00:31:42,113 The car is flipping over her head and she's still able to reach up to touch the guy? That's completely impossible! 308 00:31:42,317 --> 00:31:45,742 This is Hollywood, nothing is impossible here. Right, my goddess? 309 00:31:50,909 --> 00:31:55,255 This next audition is Jimmy Wilson. Jimmy Wilson? 310 00:31:55,914 --> 00:32:00,044 - Let's see if we can sneak in the back door. - I have an idea. 311 00:32:00,127 --> 00:32:02,425 Oh, another great idea? 312 00:32:04,464 --> 00:32:05,636 Hi! 313 00:32:05,715 --> 00:32:08,434 I'm sorry, you can't be here. 314 00:32:08,510 --> 00:32:11,559 You tell her Dawei is an actor, and he's here for the audition. 315 00:32:11,638 --> 00:32:14,391 - Good idea. - We're here for the auditions. 316 00:32:14,474 --> 00:32:17,523 This is Tong Dawei, my client. 317 00:32:19,479 --> 00:32:24,451 Okay. But are you sure you are in the right place? 318 00:32:25,235 --> 00:32:28,114 - Wronald Wrights office, please hold! - She doesn't believe you. 319 00:32:28,196 --> 00:32:31,291 Uh, no no no. You can tell her... 320 00:32:31,366 --> 00:32:33,664 I'm sorry you have to leave or I'll have to call security. 321 00:32:33,743 --> 00:32:37,998 Oh, I see how it is. You're saying because my client is Chinese, 322 00:32:38,081 --> 00:32:41,335 he can't audition for your movie? 323 00:32:41,418 --> 00:32:43,386 No, I didn't... 324 00:32:43,462 --> 00:32:46,636 I didn't know this was for white people only! 325 00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:48,058 Now you're putting words into my mouth. 326 00:32:48,133 --> 00:32:50,636 Do you know we have a black president, 327 00:32:50,719 --> 00:32:52,938 and his number one pet peeve is the lack of diversity in Hollywood! 328 00:32:53,013 --> 00:32:57,359 Please keep it down. I'll let the casting director know 329 00:32:57,434 --> 00:33:00,904 - that Mr. Tang Dewei... - Please, Tong. 330 00:33:01,521 --> 00:33:05,071 - Sorry. Sorry! - It's okay. 331 00:33:05,817 --> 00:33:10,573 I'll let them know that Mr. Tong is here. Now please, have a seat, 332 00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:15,001 - and if you need anything, water, coffee, just let me know. - Thank you. 333 00:33:19,456 --> 00:33:23,802 - That was really impressive! - Just going with the flow. 334 00:33:23,877 --> 00:33:26,756 I've never seen anyone as deceptive as you. 335 00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:28,010 What are you trying to say? 336 00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:31,184 You have talent, to be able to lie like that. 337 00:33:32,219 --> 00:33:34,221 Are you calling me a liar?! 338 00:33:34,304 --> 00:33:37,774 You don't know me! Don't ever call me a liar! 339 00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:41,604 I didn't mean it that way. I meant you can "act"! Acting is one of your good qualities. 340 00:33:41,686 --> 00:33:45,441 - Oh yeah? Let's talk about your good qualities! - What about me? 341 00:33:45,524 --> 00:33:49,574 - Control freak! You think you can plan every second of your life? - What's wrong with that? 342 00:33:49,653 --> 00:33:52,998 Tell me if I've got this right. You made big plans with your girlfriend back at home 343 00:33:53,073 --> 00:33:55,872 without even asking her opinion. So she broke up with you. Then you desperately followed her to the US. 344 00:33:55,951 --> 00:33:59,376 You think you can win her back by doing this? 345 00:33:59,454 --> 00:34:03,300 At least I'm living my life the way I want! You pretend to be a tour guide, but you're just a criminal. 346 00:34:03,375 --> 00:34:07,926 I wonder how much of your life is actually real!! 347 00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:19,938 Get me to Yan Yan soon and we can go our separate ways. I never want to see you again. 348 00:34:29,276 --> 00:34:33,747 - Alright, next is Tong Dawei. - That's me! 349 00:34:33,863 --> 00:34:36,491 Okay, let's go. 350 00:34:36,575 --> 00:34:40,796 Keep going, keep going. And you just, right on the mark, right there... 351 00:34:40,870 --> 00:34:44,841 - "May the force be with you." - Okay. 352 00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:48,132 "To infinity, and beyond!" 353 00:34:48,628 --> 00:34:51,097 "I'm king of the world!" 354 00:34:51,172 --> 00:34:55,769 Oh, my God! He's terrible. Sorry where did we find him? From YouTube? 355 00:34:55,844 --> 00:35:01,601 Interesting... Okay. Can you give us a dramatic monologue, please? 356 00:35:02,017 --> 00:35:04,145 A speech. 357 00:35:14,738 --> 00:35:17,036 Should I call security? 358 00:35:18,992 --> 00:35:21,586 One, two, three, action. 359 00:35:23,246 --> 00:35:27,467 Whatever life holds in store for me, I'll never forget my uncle's last words: 360 00:35:27,542 --> 00:35:30,261 "With great power comes great responsibility." 361 00:35:30,337 --> 00:35:35,059 This is my gift from God. It is also my curse. 362 00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:40,560 I didn't understand a word. I'm Asian, but not that Asian. 363 00:35:40,639 --> 00:35:44,394 Who needs to understandwords when you can infuse a performance with such emotion and truth 364 00:35:44,476 --> 00:35:47,070 that language becomes pointless. 365 00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:50,115 No, I understood every word he said, 366 00:35:50,190 --> 00:35:52,989 even though I didn't understand a single word he said. 367 00:35:53,068 --> 00:35:58,199 Take notes, people. Because you've just witnessed the birth of a superstar! 368 00:35:58,281 --> 00:36:02,627 I think we just found our Apocalyptic Traffic Cop #7. 369 00:36:02,702 --> 00:36:05,376 Bravo, sir! Bravo! 370 00:36:06,706 --> 00:36:10,552 I knew he was special the moment I walked him in. 371 00:36:10,627 --> 00:36:14,598 - I was like, "there's the young Asian DeNiro." - Yeah! 372 00:36:15,632 --> 00:36:17,634 He is one tasty dish! 373 00:36:31,981 --> 00:36:36,578 - Ah, Wronald Wright! - This must be Yan Yan's desk. 374 00:36:39,364 --> 00:36:43,164 - Are you sure this is her seat? - I'm sure. 375 00:36:44,994 --> 00:36:48,089 There's no photo of me here. 376 00:36:49,708 --> 00:36:52,427 - Did you find anything? - Not yet... 377 00:36:54,546 --> 00:36:58,972 Aw man... I was two weeks away from a ponytail. 378 00:37:03,263 --> 00:37:06,767 Yan Yan isn't here. Maybe she's on a movie set. 379 00:37:06,850 --> 00:37:10,275 Hmm... Nice haircut 380 00:37:10,353 --> 00:37:12,401 A deadly shooting took place earlier today at the Hollywood Exhibit. 381 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,858 The police have taken several suspects into custody, 382 00:37:14,941 --> 00:37:19,913 including a local businessman named Bung Ho Lee, aka Manny Love. 383 00:37:19,988 --> 00:37:23,834 I'm just an innocent Korean immigrant who is trying to live the American dream! 384 00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:25,626 If you've got any information... 385 00:37:25,702 --> 00:37:30,924 - We need to change our look. - Cheer up. What's wrong with you? 386 00:37:34,878 --> 00:37:38,382 This hat is so cool! Do you like it? 387 00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:50,319 How about this shirt? Oh my god! It looks great on you! You look amazing! 388 00:37:50,894 --> 00:37:53,397 Ah, there's the smile! Smile... 389 00:37:54,022 --> 00:37:56,650 God bless you. 390 00:38:00,445 --> 00:38:05,326 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 'Sup, dudes? Couple of movie stars! 391 00:38:15,502 --> 00:38:20,679 The package in in my hand. I'm on my way. I'll deliver it. 392 00:38:20,757 --> 00:38:25,228 You give me my passport and I'm done. See... What... 393 00:38:28,473 --> 00:38:33,479 - Hey Beauty? Did you miss us? - You need a ride, miss? 394 00:38:34,229 --> 00:38:39,156 This is Dougie. He'll take us to the set. That's is where Yan Yan is. 395 00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:43,075 Oh, thank you. 396 00:38:45,448 --> 00:38:46,791 Hey. 397 00:38:53,164 --> 00:38:57,715 Oh, don't mind him. That's Free Range. Say hello, Free Range. 398 00:39:00,088 --> 00:39:04,639 Sit back and relax. Time to get you guys to set. 399 00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:10,815 - How long is the drive? - Two hours. 400 00:39:11,307 --> 00:39:13,776 You understand Mandarin? 401 00:39:13,852 --> 00:39:20,280 No, man. It doesn't matter what language, because the universe speaks to me in the moment. 402 00:39:20,358 --> 00:39:22,486 - What did he say? - ASh... 403 00:39:22,569 --> 00:39:25,413 - Where are my manners, anyone want a cookie? - No no no. Thank you. 404 00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:27,536 I'm actually hungry. 405 00:39:28,825 --> 00:39:33,171 - Hm, Delicious! - Hey, not bad for a newbie. 406 00:39:33,705 --> 00:39:36,629 He knows the word Newbie (awesome)! 407 00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:39,382 - He said I'm awesome! - Yeah, you're a newbie. 408 00:39:39,460 --> 00:39:43,931 - I am awesome. I'm awesome. - Yeah, you're like a beginner. Newbie. 409 00:39:58,980 --> 00:40:02,860 Well well well... Mr. Manny Love. 410 00:40:03,026 --> 00:40:05,620 Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in? 411 00:40:05,695 --> 00:40:10,451 Bros, you have to trust me! I'm no law-breaker. 412 00:40:10,533 --> 00:40:14,163 I love American laws. I love America. 413 00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:19,251 She's the one that you want. Look, I didn't know her Hollywood Adventure tour 414 00:40:19,334 --> 00:40:22,008 was a front for illegal activities. 415 00:40:22,086 --> 00:40:23,633 I gave you permission to 416 00:40:23,713 --> 00:40:26,387 search my motel and go through my records. 417 00:40:26,466 --> 00:40:29,720 But you'll see she's using me. 418 00:40:29,802 --> 00:40:34,603 I'll help you in any way I can to bring this fugitive to justice. 419 00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:58,631 - Dougie! - Morning! 420 00:40:59,707 --> 00:41:03,302 - Be careful, okay? - Awesome... 421 00:41:05,213 --> 00:41:08,683 - Newbie. - Awesome... 422 00:41:14,847 --> 00:41:17,225 This guy Manny must really mean something to you. 423 00:41:18,017 --> 00:41:22,864 Manny? That's ridiculous! It's because of him that I ended up like this... 424 00:41:22,939 --> 00:41:26,819 Smuggling, scamming all day long. 425 00:41:26,901 --> 00:41:31,327 What kind of person I've become? I trusted someone I should've, and now I'm like this... a fugitive on the run. 426 00:41:33,783 --> 00:41:40,962 - Then what do you want with the rhino horn? - I want to get out of this. 427 00:41:42,500 --> 00:41:46,255 The money I can get from selling it, I can buy a new passport, get a new life. 428 00:41:46,337 --> 00:41:51,935 Real freedom. I want to go home. 429 00:42:55,948 --> 00:42:58,497 How long has that chicken been sitting there? 430 00:43:56,300 --> 00:44:03,775 Dougie! Dougie! Wake up! Dougie! Wake up! 431 00:44:04,016 --> 00:44:06,769 Wake up! Wake up! 432 00:44:06,853 --> 00:44:09,948 Dougie! Wake up! Wake up! 433 00:45:01,991 --> 00:45:10,092 Dougie? Dougie? Hopefully he's not dead. 434 00:45:10,583 --> 00:45:14,884 I've learned from movies is never be caught with a dead white guy! 435 00:45:37,151 --> 00:45:40,826 It's my fault. After I noticed Dougie almost fell asleep, I should've driven. 436 00:45:40,905 --> 00:45:43,408 You can blame me. The studio wanted to take us out tomorrow. 437 00:45:43,574 --> 00:45:45,292 I surrender, sheriff. 438 00:45:45,368 --> 00:45:48,292 It was me who keep screaming at Dougie, "NOW!" 439 00:45:50,122 --> 00:45:51,920 Your English is not so bad. 440 00:45:51,999 --> 00:45:56,300 Are you kidding me? I couldn't have gone anywhere without you. 441 00:45:57,630 --> 00:46:01,726 You were right. Everything you said back in the studio elevator. 442 00:46:03,010 --> 00:46:06,685 That was just lucky guess. 443 00:46:15,606 --> 00:46:17,654 Try it. Start her up. 444 00:46:24,407 --> 00:46:27,001 Wow! You're amazing! 445 00:46:33,332 --> 00:46:39,339 Hey, my phone is inside! Dougie! 446 00:46:43,634 --> 00:46:47,389 What just happened? What just happaned? 447 00:46:47,471 --> 00:46:50,224 At least he's not dead. 448 00:46:52,601 --> 00:46:59,155 Dawei, please tell us, if this were a movie, what would we do next? 449 00:47:02,778 --> 00:47:04,325 We walk. 450 00:47:14,332 --> 00:47:16,130 What's that thing you've been playing with? 451 00:47:16,208 --> 00:47:22,181 Golden bird. My father gave it to me before he passed away. 452 00:47:22,256 --> 00:47:25,556 It was the year I turned 8 years old. I remember clearly, It was raining that day, 453 00:47:25,634 --> 00:47:28,103 the street was crowded. 454 00:47:28,179 --> 00:47:32,275 We went through an alley, then a guy appeared. 455 00:47:32,350 --> 00:47:34,478 He tried to take my mom's necklece, 456 00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:39,031 my dad tried to fight back. All of a sudden, he took out a gun. 457 00:47:39,106 --> 00:47:42,360 I watched my parents died in the street. 458 00:47:46,489 --> 00:47:48,742 From that point, my butler raised me. 459 00:47:48,824 --> 00:47:51,543 He's a nice man. Very loyal to my family. 460 00:47:51,619 --> 00:47:54,964 Now I'm just traveling around the world, hoping to learn more, 461 00:47:55,039 --> 00:47:59,010 so in the future, I can take over my dad's business. 462 00:47:59,085 --> 00:48:01,929 Wow... You're Batman! 463 00:48:17,478 --> 00:48:19,105 Is that a giant boot? 464 00:48:19,188 --> 00:48:21,156 - Yes. - Just making sure... 465 00:48:21,232 --> 00:48:25,988 - What is it for? - I think it's just a boot. 466 00:48:26,278 --> 00:48:27,700 America! 467 00:48:28,197 --> 00:48:33,249 Big Barbeque Boot. Oh, it's a Barbeque! I'm starving! I want meat! 468 00:48:33,327 --> 00:48:36,456 Barbeque meat! Quick! 469 00:49:05,109 --> 00:49:10,240 - How come I don't feel hungry anymore? - Let's leave. 470 00:49:15,536 --> 00:49:17,538 Keep going! 471 00:49:29,967 --> 00:49:32,891 "Reach for the sky..." 472 00:49:33,804 --> 00:49:37,980 - What're you doing? Stop messing around. - They'll beat us up... 473 00:49:38,392 --> 00:49:42,647 "I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude." 474 00:49:44,565 --> 00:49:49,913 "I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her." 475 00:49:51,906 --> 00:49:54,204 Are you making fun of us, boy? 476 00:49:54,283 --> 00:49:58,083 - We gotta do something... "Why so serious?" 477 00:49:58,162 --> 00:50:02,087 Punch me! Punch me! Punch me! 478 00:50:04,168 --> 00:50:06,170 - Punch me. - What? 479 00:50:06,253 --> 00:50:08,301 - Punch me! - Are you out of your mind? 480 00:50:08,380 --> 00:50:11,054 You left your phone in the car, and even let him drive away! 481 00:50:11,133 --> 00:50:15,639 I'm telling you, you'd better stop yelling at me! Don't you think we're in enough trouble already? 482 00:50:16,222 --> 00:50:19,692 You're a liar. Absolutely a big liar! 483 00:50:19,767 --> 00:50:22,646 - What did you say? - Your whole entire life, you're doomed to be cheated! 484 00:50:25,689 --> 00:50:27,191 Even your punch feels like a cheat. 485 00:50:32,446 --> 00:50:36,076 Is there a window open? Because I feel a breeze. 486 00:50:44,959 --> 00:50:47,132 Whiskey's on me! 487 00:50:51,423 --> 00:50:54,848 This is the idea you made up with your head? 488 00:50:54,927 --> 00:50:57,555 More like I made it using my face. 489 00:52:16,425 --> 00:52:20,601 I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hit you so hard. 490 00:52:23,098 --> 00:52:24,941 I deserved it. 491 00:52:25,017 --> 00:52:30,114 That stuff I said earlier, I didn't meant it. 492 00:52:46,288 --> 00:52:52,170 You know... You're not the first fool to 493 00:52:52,628 --> 00:52:55,381 fly across the world for love. 494 00:52:55,839 --> 00:53:00,766 No way... You too? 495 00:53:02,137 --> 00:53:09,112 - Sometimes, love is blind. - Is he in the film business? 496 00:53:10,104 --> 00:53:12,698 Not everyone in Hollywood is in the film business. 497 00:53:13,982 --> 00:53:17,361 I always thought he was the one. 498 00:53:18,529 --> 00:53:23,501 One day he told me he had some big news to share. 499 00:53:24,076 --> 00:53:26,579 I thought he was going to propose to me. 500 00:53:27,663 --> 00:53:33,136 So that day, I did my nails, and my hair. 501 00:53:33,502 --> 00:53:36,551 I also brought a very expensive dress. 502 00:53:37,381 --> 00:53:40,635 - Then... - Then he proposed. 503 00:53:41,218 --> 00:53:43,516 He proposed to someone else. 504 00:53:48,684 --> 00:53:54,362 That was the moment I found out who he really was. 505 00:53:55,733 --> 00:54:00,204 Later I reallized he'd lied about everything. 506 00:54:00,362 --> 00:54:04,333 - I'm sorry... - That's in the past. 507 00:54:04,408 --> 00:54:07,002 I feel pretty good now. 508 00:54:07,077 --> 00:54:11,583 Only I feel sorry for my parents. 509 00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:16,421 They had warned me that 510 00:54:16,503 --> 00:54:20,508 going to America for this guy wasn't smart. 511 00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:26,682 They cried and begged me not to go. I was very stubborn then. 512 00:54:27,097 --> 00:54:30,522 I told them I must go to America. I would live a good life. 513 00:54:32,394 --> 00:54:35,898 I felt ashamed to go back home. 514 00:54:36,690 --> 00:54:40,069 Then I found a job. Tour guide. 515 00:54:41,361 --> 00:54:45,867 I didn't realize I was hired as a cover for smuggling operation. 516 00:54:45,949 --> 00:54:49,294 If you knew you were being used, why didn't you leave? 517 00:54:49,369 --> 00:54:53,590 Manny is very tricky. 518 00:54:53,665 --> 00:54:57,215 He knows America well. 519 00:54:58,754 --> 00:55:00,973 He would frame every crime on me. 520 00:55:06,845 --> 00:55:10,315 So, your story checks out. You're free to go. 521 00:55:12,142 --> 00:55:15,646 Thank you. Thank you for your hospitality, gentlemen. 522 00:55:15,729 --> 00:55:19,905 Speaking of hospitality, please be my guest at "Hotel Five Star" Motel. 523 00:55:19,983 --> 00:55:23,157 I'll even give you a discount. Five... Ten percent. 524 00:55:24,071 --> 00:55:29,749 - That's never gonna happen. - I appreciate your honesty, Agent Fox. 525 00:55:29,827 --> 00:55:33,127 For that, you get fifteen percent. 526 00:55:33,747 --> 00:55:36,876 But don't tell Agent Tight-ass over here. 527 00:55:36,959 --> 00:55:40,429 It's our little secret, right? 528 00:56:10,868 --> 00:56:13,667 Well well well... 529 00:57:18,393 --> 00:57:20,566 Troublemaker. 530 00:57:33,200 --> 00:57:39,173 Rise and shine, pertners! Yee-hoo! Rise and shine, partners! 531 00:57:42,209 --> 00:57:45,304 Rise and shine, partners! Yee-hoo! 532 00:57:50,842 --> 00:57:53,436 - Good morning, lovebirds. - Morning. 533 00:57:53,679 --> 00:57:56,933 My little cousin's. It should fit you. 534 00:57:57,015 --> 00:58:00,064 - You guys ready for some bacon and eggs? - Sorry, we gotta go. 535 00:58:00,143 --> 00:58:03,989 - Got a long walk ahead of us. - Walking? Outta here? 536 00:58:05,148 --> 00:58:08,618 The vultures be picking your bones by sunset. 537 00:58:08,694 --> 00:58:10,696 Thanks. We will be okay. 538 00:58:10,779 --> 00:58:16,377 No no. You gotta ride outta here in style. On the Hog! 539 00:58:16,451 --> 00:58:19,500 - The Hog? - That sound really powerful. 540 00:58:53,572 --> 00:58:56,416 Do you know how to drive? 541 00:59:01,621 --> 00:59:04,841 I think we have to climb over this. 542 00:59:04,916 --> 00:59:06,293 Almost there. 543 00:59:07,169 --> 00:59:10,423 Everyone freeze! If this were a movie, the snake would bite my butt. 544 00:59:10,505 --> 00:59:15,727 Then Xiaoming would have to suck my butt to save my life. 545 00:59:19,890 --> 00:59:22,143 Not in this movie! 546 00:59:22,225 --> 00:59:27,777 An animal was harmed during the making of this film. This scene will be deleted. 547 00:59:47,542 --> 00:59:50,591 It's so quiet. 548 00:59:51,296 --> 00:59:57,178 - Hello? Hello? - Is anyone here? 549 00:59:58,678 --> 01:00:02,057 Is anyone here? 550 01:00:22,327 --> 01:00:24,955 RUN! 551 01:02:13,605 --> 01:02:17,030 Holy crap! What are you, Robocop? 552 01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:21,697 - Your aim is amazing! Where did you learn that? - From movies. 553 01:02:22,405 --> 01:02:25,204 - I think this belongs to you. - Don-don't tell anyone. 554 01:02:25,283 --> 01:02:27,832 - Okay. - Cut! Cut! Cut... 555 01:02:28,161 --> 01:02:32,211 - I think we were in a movie just now. - Cut! Cut! Cut! 556 01:02:33,041 --> 01:02:34,918 Cut! 557 01:02:36,044 --> 01:02:41,392 What was that? What was that? The car is not supposed to flip! 558 01:02:41,758 --> 01:02:47,015 The car is supposed to crash into the building and then it's suppposed to blow up! 559 01:02:47,097 --> 01:02:50,067 - Did you change that? Did you change that? - No, sir! 560 01:02:50,141 --> 01:02:52,439 Somebody changed that. Who changed that? 561 01:02:52,519 --> 01:02:56,444 Who's going around behind my back changing things, huh? 562 01:02:56,523 --> 01:02:59,493 You, you with the beard. You changed it? 563 01:02:59,567 --> 01:03:02,787 Everybody does it now, that's the new game. 564 01:03:02,862 --> 01:03:06,332 Wronald will never find out we're having an affair. He'll look like a fool. 565 01:03:06,408 --> 01:03:10,788 But what difference does it make because we're having so much fun fornicationg! 566 01:03:11,579 --> 01:03:15,209 Well, fuck you, Gary Buesheimer! Huh! 567 01:03:15,709 --> 01:03:19,088 Fuck Gary Buesheimer! 568 01:03:19,170 --> 01:03:22,640 - Who is the director yelling to "screw"? - Gary Buesheimer 569 01:03:22,716 --> 01:03:27,768 - Fuck you, Gary Buesheimer! - He screwed the director's wife. 570 01:03:31,391 --> 01:03:38,070 Divorce is hard. But making movies is harder. 571 01:03:38,356 --> 01:03:43,487 So when I say I want the building to blow up, 572 01:03:43,570 --> 01:03:46,790 it means I want the building to blow up! 573 01:04:01,755 --> 01:04:04,725 Did the... building just blow up? 574 01:04:09,596 --> 01:04:13,942 Who the hell are you, huh? You know what you've done? 575 01:04:14,059 --> 01:04:16,983 You've just taken my 4 million dollar action sequence, you took it out to the pasture, 576 01:04:17,062 --> 01:04:21,442 you took it out behind the barn, and then you shot it in the head! 577 01:04:21,524 --> 01:04:25,620 - Xiaoming? - Yan Yan? 578 01:04:25,695 --> 01:04:29,620 Yan Yan, don't tell me you have anything to do with these guys! 579 01:04:29,699 --> 01:04:32,919 I wish I could. I'm so sorry. 580 01:04:32,994 --> 01:04:37,625 In the back again! In the back again! Always behind the back! 581 01:04:37,707 --> 01:04:41,382 Right behind the back! 582 01:04:42,879 --> 01:04:47,350 Who got this in my shot, huh? Who parked this thing here? 583 01:04:47,425 --> 01:04:50,429 - You did, sir. - Well, then move it! 584 01:05:08,613 --> 01:05:11,833 I heard the explosion went off early. Is anyone hurt? 585 01:05:11,908 --> 01:05:17,256 - Me! Very bad hurt! - Oh, you poor man! Do you need help? 586 01:05:17,330 --> 01:05:22,928 Yeah, I hurt myself today to see if I still feel. 587 01:05:24,671 --> 01:05:28,050 You're so cute. Here, come in my trailer. 588 01:05:28,299 --> 01:05:31,678 Let's see if I can help you feel again. 589 01:05:35,723 --> 01:05:39,478 Why do you always mess things up? 590 01:05:39,561 --> 01:05:44,818 I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I came to America for you. 591 01:05:45,150 --> 01:05:49,200 I don't want to break up with you. We can still... 592 01:05:49,279 --> 01:05:53,876 Xiaoming, I know you really care about me. I do 593 01:05:55,994 --> 01:06:02,718 But you have to understand, I found the thing I want here. Something I love. 594 01:06:07,046 --> 01:06:13,725 But I'm already here. As long as you don't break up with me, 595 01:06:14,053 --> 01:06:15,680 - Xiaoming... - I can do whatever you need me to do. 596 01:06:15,763 --> 01:06:21,770 - Yan Yan! - I've moved on. 597 01:06:21,853 --> 01:06:23,730 Yan Yan! 598 01:06:25,106 --> 01:06:27,108 Please go. 599 01:06:29,986 --> 01:06:31,738 Yan Yan! 600 01:06:32,947 --> 01:06:35,075 Do you have any idea what he went through to... 601 01:06:35,158 --> 01:06:39,163 - Who are you? Who is he to you? - He flew halfway around the world and went through three days of hell. 602 01:06:39,245 --> 01:06:41,623 He almost lost his life 603 01:06:41,706 --> 01:06:45,961 all just for a chance to see you. Do you know how hard it is to find a guy like him? 604 01:06:46,711 --> 01:06:50,682 Sure, he can be a bit boring. He's not spontaneous and he's stubborn. 605 01:06:50,757 --> 01:06:53,510 But he's a guy who would do anything for the woman he loves. 606 01:06:53,593 --> 01:06:55,846 A guy who'd die for you! 607 01:06:55,929 --> 01:07:00,309 If I had your kind of luck, and found a guy who loved me that much, I would never let him go. 608 01:07:03,853 --> 01:07:06,732 I don't even know what I'm talking about. 609 01:07:07,690 --> 01:07:12,571 But I just think the least you can do is hear him out. 610 01:07:46,813 --> 01:07:51,159 Xiaoming, wait! Wait for me! 611 01:07:51,651 --> 01:07:56,157 I've had enough. I don't know what I was thinking. I should never have come here! 612 01:07:56,239 --> 01:08:00,415 You went with your heart. You had to face it anyway! 613 01:08:03,454 --> 01:08:07,834 And? Look where it got me. 614 01:08:10,003 --> 01:08:14,509 By the way, thank you. Thank you for finding Yan Yan for me. 615 01:08:14,591 --> 01:08:15,888 Really, thank you very much. 616 01:08:15,967 --> 01:08:19,471 Oh, wait... I fogot to shoot my travel documentary. 617 01:08:19,554 --> 01:08:21,727 I'm not in the mood to do this, Dawei. I'm warning you... 618 01:08:21,806 --> 01:08:24,935 You should be in the mood now. The hero is at his low point, 619 01:08:25,018 --> 01:08:27,612 just before he gets inspired to save the day. 620 01:08:27,687 --> 01:08:31,487 I'm telling you one last time! This is not a damn movie! 621 01:08:31,566 --> 01:08:36,572 And I'm not a hero! I'm just a guy standing in the middle of the desert, a big stupid idiot! 622 01:08:36,654 --> 01:08:40,830 Can you say it again? This time emphasize the world "Idiot." 623 01:08:44,621 --> 01:08:51,630 Okay, I'm done. Bye, ladies and gentlemen! See you never! 624 01:08:53,630 --> 01:08:55,132 Shit! 625 01:08:56,132 --> 01:08:58,430 Lose something? 626 01:09:02,263 --> 01:09:05,517 You know what I love about good apple pie? 627 01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:07,443 It's not too sweet. 628 01:09:07,518 --> 01:09:11,193 You know, some things you eat and it just make you sick to your stomach. 629 01:09:11,272 --> 01:09:15,903 Other things, just not sweet enough. But pie... pie is in the middle! 630 01:09:15,985 --> 01:09:21,958 It's right on target. See, pie is reasonable. I love me some reasonable. 631 01:09:22,909 --> 01:09:27,540 Such an ominous, metaphorical speech! I think it's turning into a horro film. 632 01:09:27,622 --> 01:09:31,877 Oh, I almost forgot. There's your phone, bro! 633 01:09:34,087 --> 01:09:40,595 Don't worry, your girl's safe. Under the care of some of my associates at an undisclosed location, of course. 634 01:09:41,844 --> 01:09:43,471 Oh ho! 635 01:09:45,139 --> 01:09:52,193 - Here, take it. Let her go - Come on. 636 01:09:52,897 --> 01:09:57,573 What do I look like here, huh? Do you think I'd take the trouble of coming up with this brilliant import operation, 637 01:09:57,652 --> 01:10:00,246 putting your name in the paperwork, 638 01:10:00,321 --> 01:10:05,122 becoming some two-bit delivery boy while the feds are breathing up my ass? 639 01:10:05,243 --> 01:10:08,873 Bro, there's a reason I framed you. 640 01:10:09,080 --> 01:10:14,587 You will make the delivery. You wil bring me my money. And that's no play, Wei Wei. 641 01:10:14,877 --> 01:10:18,507 That's just a reasonable business decision. 642 01:10:19,590 --> 01:10:21,308 That's the address to my buyer. 643 01:10:21,509 --> 01:10:24,604 You drive there, you make the delivery and you bring me my money. 644 01:10:24,679 --> 01:10:28,559 Then you get the girl in one piece. Easy as pie. 645 01:10:30,268 --> 01:10:33,989 He wants us to deliver the rhino horn and get his money. 646 01:10:34,063 --> 01:10:38,660 I've arranged tranportation for you in the parking lot. You got 24 hours. 647 01:10:38,943 --> 01:10:45,292 But 24 hours and a minute from now, I will personally put two bullets in her stomach. 648 01:10:52,665 --> 01:10:55,794 This is too intense... 649 01:11:07,805 --> 01:11:11,309 - You sure this is the right address? - Do you need help? 650 01:11:11,392 --> 01:11:13,110 Stay in the car! 651 01:11:17,815 --> 01:11:21,570 Don't they know that the sidekick never stays in the car? 652 01:11:26,616 --> 01:11:31,747 - Hey, guys! What's up? - Rick Fox! Los Angeles Lakers. 653 01:11:31,829 --> 01:11:35,003 Three-time world champion Rick Fox, player. 654 01:11:35,416 --> 01:11:38,795 - We're here to deliver the package. - Cool. 655 01:11:38,878 --> 01:11:43,008 No no! No money, no deal. 656 01:11:43,090 --> 01:11:45,934 Can you ladies excuse us? Gracias. 657 01:11:46,636 --> 01:11:51,392 Look, that's not how it's done. You give me the bag now, you get your money later. 658 01:11:51,474 --> 01:11:53,317 - No. - Xiaoming, something's not right here. 659 01:11:53,392 --> 01:11:58,193 - Let's go back discuss and come back later. - No! I must get the money! 660 01:11:58,272 --> 01:12:02,618 - No money, no Yan Yan. - Trust me. I'm not wrong. 661 01:12:03,236 --> 01:12:06,661 - Is that a yes? - Show me the money!! 662 01:12:08,616 --> 01:12:12,416 Yeah, okay. Come on in. 663 01:12:25,967 --> 01:12:27,640 - Be cool... - Okay. 664 01:12:40,398 --> 01:12:44,028 Yes yes, we're getting somewhere. So who's gonna jump up in? 665 01:12:44,110 --> 01:12:47,284 Hey, Gary, you got a couple friends looking for you. 666 01:12:52,201 --> 01:12:55,671 Gary Buesheimer... Do you remember that film actor? 667 01:12:56,122 --> 01:12:57,920 Hello there. 668 01:12:58,833 --> 01:13:02,258 - We have your Rhino. - You better not say anything right now. 669 01:13:02,336 --> 01:13:03,963 Rhino! In here! 670 01:13:08,759 --> 01:13:12,059 They fit a whole rhinoceros in that little bag? 671 01:13:12,138 --> 01:13:15,768 Yes! Here! 672 01:13:18,853 --> 01:13:21,697 Have you got a giraffe in there as well? 673 01:13:24,275 --> 01:13:27,529 Oh, I know a Greenpeace fundraiser when I see one. 674 01:13:27,653 --> 01:13:30,657 A true environmentalist's work is never done. 675 01:13:30,740 --> 01:13:34,165 Come on inside! I'll write you another check. 676 01:13:38,581 --> 01:13:43,462 I know, right? The high life. And this is nothing. 677 01:13:44,003 --> 01:13:48,383 Well, a golden cage might be gold but it's still a cage. 678 01:13:48,466 --> 01:13:51,470 And with the spotlight always on you, 679 01:13:51,552 --> 01:13:54,101 you gotta be the great guy, work hard, donate to all the right charities. 680 01:13:54,180 --> 01:13:58,435 But the great thing about Hollywood is, it's the only place in the world where, 681 01:13:58,517 --> 01:14:01,066 you can be somebody else. 682 01:14:01,437 --> 01:14:04,737 I mean, it's all fake. You just have to believe. 683 01:14:04,815 --> 01:14:08,410 And if you believe, the audience believes. 684 01:14:08,486 --> 01:14:14,539 If you have a little imagination, anything's possible. Check and mate. 685 01:14:15,660 --> 01:14:19,915 Of course, at the end of the day. we're all just humans. 686 01:14:19,997 --> 01:14:24,127 And everyone has their little quirks. 687 01:14:36,013 --> 01:14:39,187 For example, tomorrow's my annual Pink Party, 688 01:14:39,266 --> 01:14:43,362 and it's all this planning... See, and for what? 689 01:14:43,437 --> 01:14:46,156 The public thinks it's a funraiser for 690 01:14:46,232 --> 01:14:49,611 endangered dodos or some shit. 691 01:14:49,694 --> 01:14:56,293 But when in actuality... Well, let's just say we dance with the devil. 692 01:14:57,201 --> 01:15:00,705 So again, it's all an illusion, but an addicting, necessary one. 693 01:15:00,788 --> 01:15:05,760 So when someone comes to my house and starts yelling across a lawn full of distinguished guests 694 01:15:05,835 --> 01:15:08,258 some nonsense about rhinoceros horn, 695 01:15:08,337 --> 01:15:10,806 the smoke and mirrors start to fall away 696 01:15:10,881 --> 01:15:14,727 and people start to see you, the real you. 697 01:15:14,802 --> 01:15:19,228 And all the work that went in to creating and maintaining that illusion 698 01:15:19,306 --> 01:15:22,810 goes down the goddamned drain! 699 01:15:28,691 --> 01:15:31,069 Why couldn't you just keep your mouth shut? 700 01:15:31,152 --> 01:15:38,536 Okay okay. See? Let her go. Take me. Okay? 701 01:15:38,617 --> 01:15:41,621 What? You wannna be a hero just like in the movies? 702 01:15:41,704 --> 01:15:44,423 Doesn't work that way in reality. 703 01:15:59,346 --> 01:16:00,472 Run! 704 01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:05,607 Run quickly! 705 01:16:11,108 --> 01:16:17,241 Where are you going, baby? Fiesta's just about to start! 706 01:16:17,615 --> 01:16:23,167 There she is. There she is... 707 01:16:28,250 --> 01:16:33,381 Four days ago, I was happy, comfortable, content. 708 01:16:33,881 --> 01:16:37,886 I thought that by having the perfect plan nothing in my life would go wrong. 709 01:16:37,968 --> 01:16:42,599 But what I didn't expect, 710 01:16:42,681 --> 01:16:48,108 is that by being hung upside down, I'd finally see everything right side up. 711 01:16:52,066 --> 01:16:55,036 You okay? Troublemaker? 712 01:17:01,617 --> 01:17:07,295 I'm sorry. If I had listened to you and left earlier, 713 01:17:08,165 --> 01:17:09,633 we wouldn't... 714 01:17:09,708 --> 01:17:14,214 Don't be silly. It's all my fault. 715 01:17:14,463 --> 01:17:20,345 No. We made a good team. 716 01:17:21,846 --> 01:17:25,521 - I think... - Time to take out the trash! 717 01:17:41,448 --> 01:17:43,041 - Dawei, how did you... - Shh! 718 01:17:43,409 --> 01:17:45,662 - Dawei? - Need my help? 719 01:17:45,786 --> 01:17:47,208 Yeah! 720 01:18:13,856 --> 01:18:18,327 - You don't know when to quit, do you? - What's going on, Xiaoming? 721 01:19:01,362 --> 01:19:04,866 Hey, I knocked out Rick Fox from the Lakers! 722 01:19:10,246 --> 01:19:13,125 I knocked out Rick Fox from the Lakers! 723 01:19:14,583 --> 01:19:17,462 You had this superhero ability all along, why didn't you use it earlier? 724 01:19:17,544 --> 01:19:21,594 I asked you if you needed help, you kept saying no. 725 01:19:22,841 --> 01:19:24,935 Now we're really in a deep mess. 726 01:19:25,010 --> 01:19:29,140 The rhino horn's gone, we have nothing. 727 01:19:29,223 --> 01:19:32,102 There's gotta be a way. 728 01:19:32,184 --> 01:19:36,655 We don't have a plan... We have nothing. 729 01:19:36,730 --> 01:19:38,983 We have each other. 730 01:19:49,952 --> 01:19:55,209 All that stuff you did back there, Dawei? How did you do it? 731 01:19:56,166 --> 01:20:01,218 After my parents' death, I've been traveling around the world, learning different cultures and martial arts. 732 01:20:01,297 --> 01:20:05,347 I want to make myself stronger, to protect friends around me. 733 01:20:08,220 --> 01:20:10,439 I know how we can get Yan Yan back. 734 01:20:10,514 --> 01:20:14,064 - Do you think Manny'd meet us somewhere? - As long as he's got his two thugs, yes. 735 01:20:14,143 --> 01:20:18,523 - Can you take care of the two thugs and Manny? - Easy as pie. 736 01:20:19,732 --> 01:20:24,158 Dawei, I think you're the hero. I'm not. 737 01:20:24,361 --> 01:20:28,332 - I'm just your sidekick. - That's exactly what the hero'd say. 738 01:20:28,407 --> 01:20:31,035 Will you go with us? 739 01:20:32,161 --> 01:20:38,339 Rise up to fight the opponent who bullies, be a hero in your life! 740 01:20:38,584 --> 01:20:42,589 Buesheimer? Gary Buesheimer? He's the buyer, huh? 741 01:20:42,671 --> 01:20:46,346 - Yeah. - Did he give you the money? All $500,000? 742 01:20:46,425 --> 01:20:50,271 - Yep, all of it. - Well, I'm glad everything went so smooth. 743 01:20:50,346 --> 01:20:53,316 - He's reasonable. Like you. - Ah... 744 01:20:53,807 --> 01:20:56,435 Good. Because I heard he could be difficult. 745 01:20:57,019 --> 01:21:00,899 - But you don't know who to believe, do you? - He's actually a great guy. 746 01:21:00,981 --> 01:21:04,201 In fact, we hung around his place for a while. 747 01:21:04,485 --> 01:21:08,661 The point is, we have your money. You have Yan Yan. Let's exchange. 748 01:21:08,739 --> 01:21:12,664 - Bring her to the corner of... - Whoa whoa, bro! I call the shots. 749 01:21:12,743 --> 01:21:15,838 - We have the money. - And I got the girl. 750 01:21:15,913 --> 01:21:19,543 As of right now, she doesn't have any bullets in her. 751 01:21:19,625 --> 01:21:24,847 So this is how it's gonna go down. We're gonna do this at the Pink Party. 752 01:21:25,839 --> 01:21:29,013 - Pink Party? - Yeah, I've aways wanted to go. 753 01:21:29,093 --> 01:21:32,848 Since Buesheimer and you are best buddies now like you say, 754 01:21:32,930 --> 01:21:37,276 it won't be a problem for you to get a few invitations for us to his party. 755 01:21:37,351 --> 01:21:41,401 VIP that you are. It's easy as pie. 756 01:21:41,480 --> 01:21:43,027 Yes yes, of course. 757 01:21:43,982 --> 01:21:46,826 - It's just... - Tell him I want to speak to Yan Yan. 758 01:21:46,902 --> 01:21:49,826 Xiaoming wants to know Yan Yan is okay. 759 01:21:51,698 --> 01:21:53,575 Hello? 760 01:21:55,202 --> 01:21:56,454 - Xiaoming. - Yan Yan! 761 01:21:56,537 --> 01:22:00,337 - I know you want to save me. But I... - Yan Yan! 762 01:22:00,416 --> 01:22:03,215 We'll see you at the party, bros. 763 01:22:06,713 --> 01:22:07,839 What did he say? 764 01:22:07,923 --> 01:22:11,302 He wants to do the exchange at the Pink Party. 765 01:22:11,718 --> 01:22:15,894 It's a party that is almost impossible to get into! 766 01:22:15,973 --> 01:22:18,817 The Pink Party is the most exclusive event in Hollywood. 767 01:22:18,892 --> 01:22:23,443 Nobody, not even the staff know the location until the day of the party. 768 01:22:24,148 --> 01:22:28,119 And we have to make the exchange while Buesheimer is there. 769 01:22:28,193 --> 01:22:30,662 This is an impossibility. 770 01:22:34,783 --> 01:22:40,381 This is Hollywood. Everything is possible. Nothing is impossible. 771 01:22:42,958 --> 01:22:45,632 Impossible! Get out of here! 772 01:22:47,087 --> 01:22:49,385 What's the matter, don't you speak English? 773 01:22:49,465 --> 01:22:51,433 Actually, they don't. 774 01:22:51,508 --> 01:22:56,105 Well, let's see if they understand this. 775 01:22:56,180 --> 01:22:59,024 No! 776 01:22:59,558 --> 01:23:02,812 Another unnecessarily angry director. You should suggest pet adoption, learning how to love... 777 01:23:02,895 --> 01:23:08,902 - Hey, you saying something about me? - Uh, he said he understands your feelings. 778 01:23:09,234 --> 01:23:13,034 You understand. You understand my feelings. 779 01:23:13,113 --> 01:23:17,994 Yeah, you sneak onto my closed set, you ruin my $4 million action sequence, 780 01:23:18,076 --> 01:23:20,078 and now you come asking me for help? 781 01:23:20,162 --> 01:23:23,757 Why the hell would I wanna help you anyway? 782 01:23:23,832 --> 01:23:30,056 Three words: Fuck... Gary... Buesheimer. 783 01:23:35,344 --> 01:23:37,438 Barbara, hold my calls. 784 01:23:48,065 --> 01:23:51,035 Give me the invite. 785 01:23:57,741 --> 01:23:59,459 You're good. 786 01:24:26,645 --> 01:24:31,151 - Hi! - Why are you in a dress? 787 01:24:31,400 --> 01:24:34,279 Look good, right? 788 01:24:46,206 --> 01:24:48,459 He didn't bring Yan Yan. 789 01:24:48,542 --> 01:24:52,843 His thugs must have her outside. I'll go take a look. 790 01:25:10,105 --> 01:25:14,827 - So Buesheimer? - He'll be here. Where is Yan Yan? 791 01:25:15,027 --> 01:25:19,999 Come on, bro. How stupid do you think I am? Where's the money? 792 01:25:30,667 --> 01:25:32,044 Delicious! 793 01:25:36,131 --> 01:25:38,975 All right, bring in the princess. 794 01:25:40,218 --> 01:25:43,643 - Gary Buesheimer! - Gary! Gary! 795 01:25:44,973 --> 01:25:46,896 Sorry. 796 01:25:50,646 --> 01:25:53,240 - Hi... - Hello there! 797 01:25:55,442 --> 01:25:59,447 Don't speak. I know what you're gonna say. this town, right? 798 01:25:59,696 --> 01:26:03,701 Everything all the time. But it's a cage. A golden cage, 799 01:26:03,784 --> 01:26:08,005 - But a cage is still a cage, am I right? - Cage? 800 01:26:09,915 --> 01:26:14,295 You get me, don't you? I love your accent. Are you Spanish? 801 01:26:14,378 --> 01:26:17,598 - You're so mysterious. - Mystery? 802 01:26:17,673 --> 01:26:20,722 Yes, but sometimes you can see past the mystery. 803 01:26:20,801 --> 01:26:24,931 Sometimes I feel I can see inside a person and you have those kind of eyes. 804 01:26:25,013 --> 01:26:28,984 Those kind of eyes that don't lie. 805 01:26:30,185 --> 01:26:34,656 I have some pixie dust that'll blow your mind and tickle your soul. 806 01:26:34,731 --> 01:26:36,449 Have you ever had your soul tickled? 807 01:26:40,070 --> 01:26:43,574 - Where is Yan Yan? - Come on, bro. Enjoy the party. 808 01:26:43,824 --> 01:26:48,045 I think I'm gonna say hello to the man whose life I've been improving all these years. 809 01:26:48,120 --> 01:26:49,963 - Wait! Wait! - What? 810 01:26:50,038 --> 01:26:53,588 You don't want to bother him while he's busy. 811 01:26:53,667 --> 01:26:56,136 What can I say? I'm a fan. 812 01:26:58,088 --> 01:27:03,686 Mr. Buesheimer? I just wanna say it's been a pleasure doing business with you. 813 01:27:04,177 --> 01:27:07,852 Business? Who are you? 814 01:27:12,102 --> 01:27:14,275 Let's get out of cage. 815 01:27:14,354 --> 01:27:17,574 All these years, taking care of your needs. 816 01:27:17,649 --> 01:27:20,949 Come on, pixie sexy time! 817 01:27:21,027 --> 01:27:26,124 - How'd you get in here? - What do you mean? Your pals, of course. 818 01:27:26,199 --> 01:27:27,621 My pals? 819 01:27:35,125 --> 01:27:38,800 I thought you took care of this guy! Huh? Didn't you? 820 01:27:38,879 --> 01:27:40,722 My parents always said to me, 821 01:27:40,797 --> 01:27:44,597 "If you don't plan to fail, then don't fail to plan." 822 01:27:46,887 --> 01:27:50,266 This is Hollywood. Nothing is impossible. 823 01:27:51,057 --> 01:27:55,733 If we can't get into the Pink Party, We'll throw our own Pink Party. 824 01:28:00,817 --> 01:28:05,573 So no matter how big or small always have everything planned out. 825 01:28:05,655 --> 01:28:08,249 Where's Gary Buesheimer? 826 01:28:08,325 --> 01:28:11,670 And of course remember the details are very important. 827 01:28:12,162 --> 01:28:15,632 The car salesman's handbook says there are three steps to success. 828 01:28:15,707 --> 01:28:19,211 Start early, stay focused, and finish with a smile. 829 01:28:19,294 --> 01:28:22,924 - Five hundred thousand dollars?! - You'll get it back. 830 01:28:24,216 --> 01:28:27,060 Fuck Gary Buesheimer! Remember? 831 01:28:29,304 --> 01:28:32,433 The Director brings actors to set the stage. 832 01:28:36,895 --> 01:28:39,523 This is Hollywood, nothing is impossible. 833 01:28:39,606 --> 01:28:44,203 You just have to believe. Would you believe we switched the driver? 834 01:28:51,284 --> 01:28:55,130 But what my parents had told me, I didn't fully understand. I finally realize what was missing... 835 01:28:55,997 --> 01:28:59,547 something I learned here in America. 836 01:28:59,626 --> 01:29:03,301 You can't plan everything. 837 01:29:03,380 --> 01:29:06,509 Sometimes you've got to follow your heart and just wing it. 838 01:29:10,345 --> 01:29:17,570 - Bro. Deal's off! - You think you can screw me?! Huh? 839 01:29:54,306 --> 01:29:57,685 Don't let that son of a bitch get away! 840 01:30:01,646 --> 01:30:03,489 Lookie this way! 841 01:30:07,152 --> 01:30:12,283 - Dawei, be my sidekick. - Copy that! 842 01:30:26,338 --> 01:30:29,308 Get out! Go take care of them! 843 01:30:31,343 --> 01:30:34,142 - Hey, keys! - Thank you! 844 01:30:34,804 --> 01:30:36,647 Hey! 845 01:30:40,810 --> 01:30:41,982 Hey! 846 01:30:56,618 --> 01:30:59,246 Hey, thank you for letting me borrow your car. 847 01:31:01,831 --> 01:31:03,458 Hey! 848 01:31:04,918 --> 01:31:07,922 - What's going on? - Shut your face! 849 01:31:14,052 --> 01:31:18,182 Give me my bag! Fernando, you are useless! Get out of here! 850 01:31:18,264 --> 01:31:22,861 All of you, get out of here! You're all fired. I don't wanna see you anymore! 851 01:31:22,936 --> 01:31:27,863 Damne useless pieces of shit! Okay, baby. Let's boogie! 852 01:31:27,941 --> 01:31:32,822 We'll boogie, baby. Oh, we'll boogie! 853 01:31:36,491 --> 01:31:38,914 Wronald? Whoa! 854 01:31:41,663 --> 01:31:46,385 - Wronald! No! - Oh Yeah! This one's for Kelly! 855 01:32:05,770 --> 01:32:08,614 Eight, nine, twelve thousand. 856 01:32:10,817 --> 01:32:13,036 Safety first! 857 01:32:35,592 --> 01:32:36,684 Thattaboy. 858 01:33:03,703 --> 01:33:06,081 Buckle up, pretty girl. 859 01:33:29,395 --> 01:33:32,148 Xiaoming! Go get her! 860 01:34:13,523 --> 01:34:16,197 "Hasta la vista, baby." 861 01:34:30,832 --> 01:34:33,381 He's getting away! What should we do? 862 01:34:37,213 --> 01:34:39,261 You drive! 863 01:34:48,141 --> 01:34:53,193 - What are you doing? - You told me before to go with my gut! 864 01:34:54,189 --> 01:34:55,782 Hey! 865 01:35:42,237 --> 01:35:44,615 Go faster! Pass him! 866 01:36:09,222 --> 01:36:11,725 Shoot his front tire! 867 01:36:13,518 --> 01:36:17,193 You are Robocop! Trust me! 868 01:36:41,337 --> 01:36:43,465 I got you now. 869 01:36:47,677 --> 01:36:50,021 Easy as pie. 870 01:37:35,266 --> 01:37:39,942 Holy crap! Completely unrealistic! How was it possible? 871 01:37:40,021 --> 01:37:45,494 You're the one who told me, this is Hollywood, nothing is impossible. 872 01:37:45,610 --> 01:37:49,615 I told you that you're the hero. 873 01:37:52,283 --> 01:37:54,627 You saved me. 874 01:38:12,970 --> 01:38:18,272 - Freeze! Freeze! Don't move! - Freeze! Get your hands up! 875 01:38:23,314 --> 01:38:25,658 On your feet! 876 01:38:27,193 --> 01:38:30,663 It's Gary Buesheimer, The movie star/philanthropist. 877 01:38:30,738 --> 01:38:34,288 You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held... 878 01:38:34,367 --> 01:38:38,088 - You're like a Christmas pig! - This will be held against you, sir. 879 01:38:38,162 --> 01:38:42,633 - You have the right to... - Oh my god. 880 01:38:44,252 --> 01:38:47,472 Alright, that's enough. Your last movie stunk, by the way. 881 01:38:47,547 --> 01:38:51,768 - Put your hands behind your back! - Take it easy, bro! 882 01:38:51,843 --> 01:38:55,143 - Shut up! - I'm just an innocent Korean immigrant! 883 01:39:28,045 --> 01:39:32,050 In the end of a movie, everything will be resolved. 884 01:39:32,758 --> 01:39:38,015 The good guys team up save the day. The hero gets the girl. 885 01:39:39,348 --> 01:39:42,773 And love conquers all. 886 01:39:48,399 --> 01:39:50,948 Goodbye. Troublemaker. 887 01:40:25,937 --> 01:40:28,486 Your friend gave this to us. 888 01:40:29,440 --> 01:40:32,614 I'll tell you one last time. This is not a damn movie! 889 01:40:32,693 --> 01:40:38,075 I'm not a hero! I'm just a guy standing in middle of the desert, a big stupid idiot! 890 01:40:38,157 --> 01:40:41,752 Can you say it again? This time emphasize the word, "Idi..." 891 01:40:42,411 --> 01:40:45,540 Do you think I would take the trouble to come up with a brilliant import operation, 892 01:40:45,623 --> 01:40:48,342 put your name in the paperwork, 893 01:40:48,417 --> 01:40:52,923 becoming some two-bit delivery boy while the feds are breathing up my ass? 894 01:40:53,005 --> 01:40:56,305 There's a reason why I set you up, bro. 895 01:40:56,384 --> 01:40:58,978 - Cause you will make the delivery... - You're free to go. 896 01:40:59,053 --> 01:41:01,397 You will bring me my money. 897 01:41:01,931 --> 01:41:06,983 And that's no play, Wei Wei. That's just a reasonable business decision. 898 01:41:08,604 --> 01:41:12,780 The movies will have you believe everyone gets their special person. 899 01:41:12,858 --> 01:41:16,362 And together, they'll live happily ever after. 900 01:41:19,407 --> 01:41:23,787 But life is not a Hollywood movie. This is real life. 901 01:41:24,328 --> 01:41:28,629 And real love will spin you so much that 902 01:41:28,708 --> 01:41:33,839 you'll do whatever it takes to make them happy... 903 01:41:40,678 --> 01:41:44,478 Even... walk away. 904 01:41:45,850 --> 01:41:51,607 With real love, there are no guarantees. Nothing is pre-destined. 905 01:41:51,981 --> 01:41:55,952 There are no fireworks. No Hollywood ending. 906 01:42:15,880 --> 01:42:17,678 Miss Zhao WeiWei. 907 01:42:17,757 --> 01:42:21,557 Welcome to the rest of your life. I'm your tour guide, Xiaoming. 908 01:42:21,636 --> 01:42:25,391 Uh, is there anything special you wanted to do during your stay? 909 01:42:25,473 --> 01:42:29,819 You know how I just said that real life has no Hollywood endings? 910 01:42:29,894 --> 01:42:31,737 Forget it. Pretend I didn't say anything. 911 01:42:31,812 --> 01:42:34,156 Troublemaker. 912 01:43:19,610 --> 01:43:23,035 Come to bed soon, honey! 913 01:44:04,530 --> 01:44:08,034 Hey, Free Range. I feel like we're forgetting something. 914 01:44:09,076 --> 01:44:12,330 What's that? Tunes, you're right! 915 01:44:45,488 --> 01:44:47,957 - Oh no. - It's all good. It's all good. 916 01:44:48,032 --> 01:44:51,536 - You have a wonderful stay in America! - Take your glove off. 917 01:44:51,619 --> 01:44:52,711 Sorry. 918 01:44:52,787 --> 01:44:56,508 Just because you've just entered our country doesn't mean we have to enter you. 919 01:45:02,338 --> 01:45:04,591 You saved me. 920 01:45:12,014 --> 01:45:15,359 - Easy as pie. - Stop that! 921 01:45:26,946 --> 01:45:32,043 - Oh, the piggy pooped. - The pig pooped again. Cutting! Perfect! 922 01:45:35,412 --> 01:45:39,212 Cat's in the cradle, boys! Cow jumped over the moon, boys! 923 01:45:39,291 --> 01:45:41,669 No! 924 01:45:48,717 --> 01:45:51,266 No, no, I'm so sorry! 925 01:45:55,391 --> 01:45:57,769 Welcome to America! 926 01:46:05,609 --> 01:46:08,237 Flap, the first! 927 01:46:09,196 --> 01:46:11,995 Hollywood, here I come! 75188

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