Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:11,541
[cheers and applause]
2
00:00:11,625 --> 00:00:13,708
- Good morning, Las Vegas.
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
3
00:00:13,791 --> 00:00:15,833
- Can you hear me okay?
- Yeah, it's very loud.
4
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:17,333
- Softer.
- Too loud.
5
00:00:17,416 --> 00:00:18,875
- Right. Good.
6
00:00:18,958 --> 00:00:21,625
Now, it is my pleasure
to introduce to you
7
00:00:21,708 --> 00:00:23,875
the CEO and Chairman
8
00:00:23,958 --> 00:00:25,958
of the Palmetto Casino
and Resort,
9
00:00:26,041 --> 00:00:31,291
the wickedly handsome
Marty Ghilain.
10
00:00:31,375 --> 00:00:34,166
[cheers and applause]
11
00:00:34,250 --> 00:00:36,583
- Thank you, Madame Mayor.
12
00:00:36,666 --> 00:00:39,083
I think I'll just project.
[laughter]
13
00:00:39,166 --> 00:00:41,375
I remember the first time
I saw Deborah Vance perform.
14
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:42,875
- Hey. What happened?
15
00:00:42,958 --> 00:00:44,458
I thought we were all
gonna drive together.
16
00:00:44,541 --> 00:00:45,916
I promised Deborah
I'd stop being
17
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,250
"Little Miss Seatbelt Bitch."
18
00:00:47,333 --> 00:00:48,666
- Got me.
19
00:00:48,750 --> 00:00:50,083
You two have been sharing
a schedule for weeks now.
20
00:00:50,166 --> 00:00:51,791
- Well, she's being
kinda weird.
21
00:00:51,875 --> 00:00:53,250
Like she's avoiding me.
22
00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:55,250
- It might be about
your signature scent.
23
00:00:55,333 --> 00:00:57,708
Did you switch it up recently?
- What?
24
00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,708
- Well, last summer, I thought
that she was mad at me,
25
00:00:59,791 --> 00:01:02,916
but it turns out that she just
hates Acqua di Gio, so...
26
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,333
- Was one of the best decisions
I ever made.
27
00:01:04,416 --> 00:01:06,500
- Huh.
- She helped put
28
00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:08,666
Vegas residencies on the map,
29
00:01:08,750 --> 00:01:12,500
and now we're literally
putting her on the map.
30
00:01:12,583 --> 00:01:14,333
[cheers and applause]
31
00:01:14,416 --> 00:01:16,875
So even though tonight
is her farewell show...
32
00:01:16,958 --> 00:01:19,125
crowd: Aww.
- She's not going anywhere.
33
00:01:19,208 --> 00:01:22,541
[cheers and applause]
34
00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:24,125
Mayor?
35
00:01:25,208 --> 00:01:27,083
- [clears throat]
36
00:01:27,166 --> 00:01:28,625
[feedback whines]
It is my honor and my duty...
37
00:01:28,708 --> 00:01:30,166
- Oh, my God.
- Fuck.
38
00:01:30,250 --> 00:01:34,458
- To present to you all
Las Vegas's newest street,
39
00:01:34,541 --> 00:01:36,041
Deborah Vance Drive.
40
00:01:36,125 --> 00:01:37,291
[upbeat jazzy music]
41
00:01:37,375 --> 00:01:40,333
[cheers and applause]
42
00:01:40,416 --> 00:01:45,000
♪ ♪
43
00:01:45,083 --> 00:01:47,958
- You didn't have to come,
you know.
44
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,500
- I know you're mad at me,
45
00:01:49,583 --> 00:01:51,583
but I'll always be
your biggest fan, Deb.
46
00:01:54,291 --> 00:01:55,375
- Switch with me.
47
00:01:55,458 --> 00:01:56,791
Give them your good side.
C'mon.
48
00:01:56,875 --> 00:01:58,708
- [laughs]
49
00:01:58,791 --> 00:02:00,458
- Over here, Deb.
Over here.
50
00:02:00,541 --> 00:02:01,791
♪ ♪
51
00:02:01,875 --> 00:02:04,291
- There you go.
Guys, right here.
52
00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:06,166
- I've heard a couple of you
out there complaining
53
00:02:06,250 --> 00:02:08,833
about this 115-degree heat.
54
00:02:08,916 --> 00:02:10,333
I'll tell you what, I love it.
55
00:02:10,416 --> 00:02:11,333
- Kayla, it's red--red!
56
00:02:11,416 --> 00:02:13,625
Kayla, you just ran a red.
57
00:02:13,708 --> 00:02:15,166
I'm so annoyed.
58
00:02:15,250 --> 00:02:17,666
I cannot believe I have to rush
to Vegas last minute
59
00:02:17,750 --> 00:02:19,416
to clean up your mess.
60
00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:20,833
- I'm sorry. I know.
61
00:02:20,916 --> 00:02:22,125
- When we get there,
62
00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:23,666
drop me off at Arrivals,
not Departures.
63
00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:25,666
I cannot miss this flight.
- Drop you off?
64
00:02:25,750 --> 00:02:26,916
I'm on your flight, babe.
65
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,666
2A and 2B.
You prefer the middle.
66
00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:30,083
- Wait.
67
00:02:30,166 --> 00:02:31,333
No, I don't prefer the middle.
And what do you--
68
00:02:31,416 --> 00:02:33,500
- I can't sit in the middle.
69
00:02:33,583 --> 00:02:34,791
- You're not coming
on the trip.
70
00:02:34,875 --> 00:02:36,500
What're you talking about?
71
00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:38,291
- I told my dad that it was,
like, my first business trip,
72
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:39,916
and he was, like, so proud.
73
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,250
But I can cancel the ticket.
There's, like, no problem.
74
00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:44,041
- No, no, no. It's fine.
It's fine. It's fine.
75
00:02:44,125 --> 00:02:45,541
- I feel like
I'm gonna throw up.
76
00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:47,416
- Just come. Just come.
77
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:49,708
- Really?
- Yeah.
78
00:02:49,791 --> 00:02:52,000
- Yay!
[laughs]
79
00:02:52,083 --> 00:02:53,625
I made us a Vegas playlist.
80
00:02:53,708 --> 00:02:55,708
[upbeat Latin pop]
Oh, no. That's my sex playlist.
81
00:02:55,791 --> 00:02:58,125
I can't listen to that
without thinkin' of the deed.
82
00:02:58,208 --> 00:02:59,500
- Kayla, watch the road.
- The big D.
83
00:02:59,583 --> 00:03:01,041
- Eyes on the road.
Eyes on the road.
84
00:03:01,125 --> 00:03:03,000
- Can you get pulled over
for having too much fun?
85
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:04,666
- Yeah, I think so.
- Oop!
86
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:07,791
Sorry, I almost--I thought
we were gonna crash.
87
00:03:07,875 --> 00:03:09,250
- Thanks for the ride.
88
00:03:09,333 --> 00:03:10,833
- Well, I wanted to talk to you
about something.
89
00:03:10,916 --> 00:03:12,041
- Oh, my God.
90
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:13,958
You're not serving me again,
are you?
91
00:03:14,041 --> 00:03:15,416
- No, no.
92
00:03:15,500 --> 00:03:18,375
- Oh.
- [sighs]
93
00:03:18,458 --> 00:03:20,041
In the show tonight,
94
00:03:20,125 --> 00:03:23,083
I'm gonna be talking about you
and your father
95
00:03:23,166 --> 00:03:26,875
and some other difficult things
96
00:03:26,958 --> 00:03:29,958
that I've never talked about
on stage before.
97
00:03:30,041 --> 00:03:32,083
- Okay.
- And, you know,
98
00:03:32,166 --> 00:03:35,000
it might not be
the easiest to hear
99
00:03:35,083 --> 00:03:39,416
or to have out there,
so that's why I'm telling you.
100
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:41,125
- Awesome. Thank you. Got it.
101
00:03:41,208 --> 00:03:43,125
- No, I'm telling you
102
00:03:43,208 --> 00:03:46,541
because if you don't want me
to do this show, I won't.
103
00:03:46,625 --> 00:03:48,083
- Right. Yeah.
104
00:03:48,166 --> 00:03:49,791
Kinda like how it was my choice
105
00:03:49,875 --> 00:03:52,250
to do that Weight Watchers ad
with you?
106
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,625
Like that?
- No.
107
00:03:54,708 --> 00:03:58,833
I mean it.
I'm asking you, DJ.
108
00:04:02,041 --> 00:04:03,125
- Oh. Okay.
109
00:04:03,208 --> 00:04:06,416
Well, thank you.
I appreciate that.
110
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:10,000
You've always known
the right thing to say.
111
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,625
I mean, on stage, anyway.
112
00:04:11,708 --> 00:04:13,791
So I'm sure that if you think
you should,
113
00:04:13,875 --> 00:04:16,625
then...then you should.
114
00:04:18,666 --> 00:04:21,375
- Great. Okay.
115
00:04:21,458 --> 00:04:24,416
Then I will.
- Okay.
116
00:04:26,708 --> 00:04:28,125
Did I ever tell you
I get recognized
117
00:04:28,208 --> 00:04:30,125
from that Weight Watchers ad
all the time?
118
00:04:30,208 --> 00:04:31,833
- No.
- Yeah.
119
00:04:31,916 --> 00:04:33,333
A woman in the airport
stopped me
120
00:04:33,416 --> 00:04:34,791
and said that we inspired her.
121
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,625
- Oh.
- I know. It was so sweet.
122
00:04:36,708 --> 00:04:38,916
I almost didn't tell her
we're just naturally thin.
123
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:43,583
[both laugh]
124
00:04:43,666 --> 00:04:45,875
- God.
125
00:04:45,958 --> 00:04:48,083
[laughs]
126
00:04:48,166 --> 00:04:49,333
- Thanks for getting lunch.
127
00:04:49,416 --> 00:04:52,250
- Well, that's not all
I got you.
128
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,583
Bam!
[laughs]
129
00:04:53,666 --> 00:04:55,333
- Oh, God. Toe shoes.
130
00:04:55,416 --> 00:04:57,666
- For our trip.
- Oh, they're horrible.
131
00:04:57,750 --> 00:04:59,500
[both laugh]
I love 'em.
132
00:04:59,583 --> 00:05:00,791
Thank you.
133
00:05:00,875 --> 00:05:02,083
- You're welcome.
134
00:05:02,166 --> 00:05:04,166
So how'd it go
asking for time off?
135
00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:05,541
- Easy. Almost too easy.
136
00:05:05,625 --> 00:05:07,000
Deborah's been so focused
on this new show
137
00:05:07,083 --> 00:05:10,375
that everything I do
takes a back seat.
138
00:05:10,458 --> 00:05:11,958
I'm sorry.
139
00:05:12,041 --> 00:05:14,333
I know you don't like
when I just complain about her.
140
00:05:14,416 --> 00:05:16,750
- No, I don't mind that you
talk to me about Deborah.
141
00:05:16,833 --> 00:05:18,166
I just--I feel like
142
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:20,166
I'm not the only one
you should be talking to.
143
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:22,375
You should talk to her.
- Oh, no.
144
00:05:22,458 --> 00:05:24,958
I've seen Deborah fire drivers
for stopping at a yellow light.
145
00:05:25,041 --> 00:05:26,375
I'm not about to go there.
146
00:05:26,458 --> 00:05:29,083
Besides, I wouldn't even know
what to say.
147
00:05:29,166 --> 00:05:31,416
- Okay, so let's practice.
148
00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:32,958
Tell me
what you'd tell Deborah.
149
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:34,875
- Come on, you know I hate
this therapy stuff.
150
00:05:34,958 --> 00:05:36,875
- It's not from therapy.
It's from mental health TikTok.
151
00:05:36,958 --> 00:05:40,000
- That's even worse.
- Okay, come on. Do it.
152
00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:43,083
- [sighs]
Okay.
153
00:05:43,166 --> 00:05:46,125
Deborah, I have prioritized
154
00:05:46,208 --> 00:05:48,500
your life and business
ahead of my own.
155
00:05:48,583 --> 00:05:50,041
And now you're doing
this whole new thing
156
00:05:50,125 --> 00:05:52,375
that I'm not a part of,
and it doesn't feel like
157
00:05:52,458 --> 00:05:54,375
you even think about
how it affects me.
158
00:05:54,458 --> 00:05:56,875
I'm starting to feel like
I'm putting my life on hold
159
00:05:56,958 --> 00:05:59,958
for someone
who isn't fully considering me.
160
00:06:00,041 --> 00:06:01,458
- You're so cute.
161
00:06:01,541 --> 00:06:02,750
- That will not
be her response.
162
00:06:02,833 --> 00:06:03,916
- It might. I mean--
- It won't.
163
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,000
- I was entranced. Mm.
164
00:06:06,083 --> 00:06:09,000
[upbeat music]
165
00:06:09,083 --> 00:06:13,791
♪ ♪
166
00:06:13,875 --> 00:06:15,708
- Huh.
167
00:06:15,791 --> 00:06:18,208
- Hey.
- Hey--holy shit.
168
00:06:18,291 --> 00:06:20,625
What're you doing?
Why are you wearing lingerie?
169
00:06:20,708 --> 00:06:23,208
- Um, it's not lingerie.
It's regular pajamas.
170
00:06:23,291 --> 00:06:25,916
- Okay, why are you wearing
regular pajamas?
171
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,375
- So it looks more believable
that we're on our honeymoon.
172
00:06:28,458 --> 00:06:29,791
- What?
- Oh, the hotel thinks
173
00:06:29,875 --> 00:06:31,166
we're on our honeymoon.
174
00:06:31,250 --> 00:06:32,875
That's how I got us
this amazing room.
175
00:06:32,958 --> 00:06:34,250
- Us? Oh, my God.
176
00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:36,041
I thought you were
just using my bathroom.
177
00:06:36,125 --> 00:06:38,250
You need to get your own room
and you need to do it now.
178
00:06:38,333 --> 00:06:40,208
- I guess I can ask the guy
when room service comes.
179
00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:41,625
- We are not ordering
room service.
180
00:06:41,708 --> 00:06:43,208
What the fuck
are you talking about?
181
00:06:43,291 --> 00:06:45,333
- Uh, yeah, we are.
I ordered us champagne.
182
00:06:45,416 --> 00:06:46,708
- Why?
183
00:06:46,791 --> 00:06:48,500
- To go with the
chocolate-covered strawberries.
184
00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:50,333
What are you not getting
about this, dude?
185
00:06:50,416 --> 00:06:53,166
- Wh-wh--Kayla! Jesus!
186
00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:54,708
You are my employee.
187
00:06:54,791 --> 00:06:56,291
You can't share a room
with me, okay?
188
00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:57,583
You're gonna get me in trouble.
189
00:06:57,666 --> 00:06:59,791
- Uh, why?
190
00:06:59,875 --> 00:07:01,791
What're you gonna do?
- Nothing!
191
00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:03,916
What're you gonna do?
- Oh, I don't know.
192
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,708
Answer the phone.
Take messages.
193
00:07:05,791 --> 00:07:08,333
Think of ideas for emails.
My job!
194
00:07:08,416 --> 00:07:10,125
- Okay, first of all,
it's not your job
195
00:07:10,208 --> 00:07:12,541
to think of ideas
for my emails, okay?
196
00:07:12,625 --> 00:07:14,166
- You're a buzzkill.
- All right.
197
00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:16,250
And second of all,
you're gonna do that stuff now?
198
00:07:16,333 --> 00:07:18,291
You haven't been doing your job
for six months.
199
00:07:18,375 --> 00:07:20,833
- Shh. Settle down, horsey.
200
00:07:20,916 --> 00:07:22,250
Sh, sh, sh. Sh, sh, sh.
201
00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:24,000
Why are you so mad? I did good.
202
00:07:24,083 --> 00:07:26,375
I got us the honeymoon suite
upgrade for free.
203
00:07:26,458 --> 00:07:28,083
You're always telling me
to watch expenses.
204
00:07:28,166 --> 00:07:30,416
- I've asked you to watch
your expenses,
205
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:32,250
like Sugarfish for breakfast.
206
00:07:32,333 --> 00:07:34,291
- In Fiji, they do eat that
for breakfast.
207
00:07:34,375 --> 00:07:35,958
- I don't care what you eat
for breakfast.
208
00:07:36,041 --> 00:07:38,458
You can't charge $50 breakfasts
to the company,
209
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,000
but you can charge
two separate rooms.
210
00:07:40,083 --> 00:07:41,250
I'm your boss.
211
00:07:41,333 --> 00:07:42,958
- Okay, well, my dad owns
half the agency,
212
00:07:43,041 --> 00:07:45,750
so it's not really your typical
boss-employee dynamic.
213
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,125
- Yeah, clearly.
214
00:07:47,208 --> 00:07:49,791
- What did you mean by that?
215
00:07:49,875 --> 00:07:51,666
You getting a vibe?
- No!
216
00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:55,208
Are you trying to give a vibe?
- No! God!
217
00:07:55,291 --> 00:07:57,666
No. What did you say? No.
218
00:07:57,750 --> 00:07:59,833
Pervert! Ugh!
219
00:07:59,916 --> 00:08:01,375
Great. Trip ruined.
220
00:08:01,458 --> 00:08:02,958
- Kayla. Kayla.
- Awkward.
221
00:08:03,041 --> 00:08:06,333
- Kayla--oh, God.
222
00:08:06,416 --> 00:08:08,208
Kayla, are you upset?
223
00:08:08,291 --> 00:08:11,166
- No, I'm going potty.
What're you doing, Mr. Curious?
224
00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:13,500
- I'm-I'm writing an email
to HR.
225
00:08:13,583 --> 00:08:15,333
"Dear Barbara"--
- No, wait, not Barbara.
226
00:08:15,416 --> 00:08:17,375
- Yes, Barbara.
227
00:08:17,458 --> 00:08:19,125
"Kayla did it again."
228
00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:20,375
[phone buzzes]
229
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,833
- Hey, Mom.
230
00:08:22,916 --> 00:08:26,125
Wait, what? What's going on?
231
00:08:26,208 --> 00:08:27,958
Yeah, I'm sitting down.
232
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,500
[door slams]
233
00:08:30,583 --> 00:08:32,041
Hey.
234
00:08:32,125 --> 00:08:34,500
I'm really sorry, but I think
I gotta miss tonight.
235
00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:37,458
My-my dad had another stroke
and I need to go home.
236
00:08:37,541 --> 00:08:41,333
- You're leaving.
- I know. I'm-I'm really sorry.
237
00:08:41,416 --> 00:08:43,500
- Well, good luck.
238
00:08:45,958 --> 00:08:47,666
- Thanks?
239
00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:49,625
[sighs]
240
00:08:49,708 --> 00:08:50,958
Look, I said I'm sorry,
you know?
241
00:08:51,041 --> 00:08:52,708
I really wish
I didn't have to go.
242
00:08:52,791 --> 00:08:54,291
- Okay.
243
00:08:57,708 --> 00:09:00,250
- Well, I got you this.
244
00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:02,750
- You can leave it there.
245
00:09:09,875 --> 00:09:10,916
- Break a leg.
246
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,083
- Will do.
247
00:09:20,916 --> 00:09:22,583
- I'm sorry.
We're completely booked.
248
00:09:22,666 --> 00:09:24,375
Everyone is
'cause of the fight.
249
00:09:24,458 --> 00:09:26,000
- All right, can we at least
get a cot?
250
00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:27,416
- Oof, with your back?
251
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,750
- I meant for you.
252
00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:30,333
[phone buzzes]
What?
253
00:09:30,416 --> 00:09:31,958
Kayla, can you
figure this out, please?
254
00:09:32,041 --> 00:09:33,833
I gotta handle something.
- On it.
255
00:09:33,916 --> 00:09:35,250
Okay, cancel the cot.
256
00:09:35,333 --> 00:09:38,416
[light jazz piano]
257
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:39,416
- Ava?
258
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:40,958
- Hey.
- Hey.
259
00:09:41,041 --> 00:09:42,458
- Hi. Sorry.
- What's going on?
260
00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:44,125
- I'm actually in a rush
to get to the airport.
261
00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:45,708
- Whoa, whoa,
you haven't returned my calls,
262
00:09:45,791 --> 00:09:47,125
and I just got a text
from Deborah.
263
00:09:47,208 --> 00:09:48,750
She's not doing
the new show anymore?
264
00:09:48,833 --> 00:09:50,000
- Wait, what?
265
00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:51,500
- Yeah, this is really bad,
okay?
266
00:09:51,583 --> 00:09:53,333
I used all my connections
to get people here.
267
00:09:53,416 --> 00:09:54,958
Plus, I'm in the middle
of a "MeToo" situation
268
00:09:55,041 --> 00:09:57,000
with Kayla,
and I'm the me, Ava.
269
00:09:57,083 --> 00:09:58,875
- Why the fuck
isn't she doing it?
270
00:09:58,958 --> 00:10:00,291
- I was gonna ask you
the same thing.
271
00:10:00,375 --> 00:10:01,541
Hold on, Ava.
272
00:10:01,625 --> 00:10:03,666
Can you at least
tell me what's happening?
273
00:10:05,958 --> 00:10:08,916
- No dice, dude. Sorry.
[laughs]
274
00:10:12,875 --> 00:10:14,083
- What's wrong with you?
275
00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:15,458
You're backing out
of the new show?
276
00:10:15,541 --> 00:10:18,375
- Why do you even care?
- [scoffs]
277
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:20,000
Because we worked
really hard on it.
278
00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:22,208
Of course I care.
- Do you?
279
00:10:22,291 --> 00:10:24,333
I know you ran back to LA
for a job interview.
280
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:26,875
And now, it sounds like
you might have a follow-up?
281
00:10:26,958 --> 00:10:28,083
- [laughs]
282
00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:30,000
That's why
you've been acting weird?
283
00:10:30,083 --> 00:10:32,916
Okay, yeah. I did go.
But I didn't take the job.
284
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,541
And now you think
I'm lying about my dad?
285
00:10:35,625 --> 00:10:36,833
Is that what you think of me?
286
00:10:36,916 --> 00:10:38,750
- I don't really think
about you.
287
00:10:38,833 --> 00:10:40,208
- Yeah, right, lady.
288
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:42,000
You do think about me.
And I think about you.
289
00:10:42,083 --> 00:10:43,666
It's called
a human relationship.
290
00:10:43,750 --> 00:10:45,250
And sorry, but we have one.
291
00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:47,708
- Our relationship is that
I sign your paychecks.
292
00:10:47,791 --> 00:10:50,000
- Paychecks? Oh, my God.
293
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,000
First of all,
it's direct deposit.
294
00:10:52,083 --> 00:10:54,125
And also, this is why I had
to lie to you
295
00:10:54,208 --> 00:10:55,916
about leaving
for that job interview.
296
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,500
Because your ego
doesn't allow you
297
00:10:57,583 --> 00:10:59,208
to take in information
like a normal human being.
298
00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:01,333
No one's allowed to communicate
honestly with you.
299
00:11:01,416 --> 00:11:03,875
And if they do, you either
shut them out or push them away
300
00:11:03,958 --> 00:11:05,833
or, I-I don't know,
hit them with your car.
301
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:10,208
- Almost hit them with my car!
- Not a great defense.
302
00:11:10,291 --> 00:11:12,875
Fine. Whatever.
I fucked up. I'm really sorry.
303
00:11:12,958 --> 00:11:16,083
But please, don't throw away
everything we worked so hard on
304
00:11:16,166 --> 00:11:17,500
just because you're mad at me.
305
00:11:17,583 --> 00:11:19,750
- This isn't about you.
306
00:11:19,833 --> 00:11:21,916
I just don't want to do it.
I know what works.
307
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,708
The old stuff works,
so that's what I'm doing.
308
00:11:23,791 --> 00:11:25,291
- The stuff
we've worked on is good.
309
00:11:25,375 --> 00:11:26,875
And it's important
that you do it!
310
00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:29,125
- You don't get to tell me
what's important!
311
00:11:29,208 --> 00:11:31,416
You're risking nothing here.
This is just a blip.
312
00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:32,833
You can get
on a plane tomorrow.
313
00:11:32,916 --> 00:11:34,291
This is just gonna be
a funny story
314
00:11:34,375 --> 00:11:35,500
about a job you once had.
315
00:11:35,583 --> 00:11:37,583
This is my life!
316
00:11:37,666 --> 00:11:40,125
I don't need to do a whole show
dwelling on the past!
317
00:11:40,208 --> 00:11:43,708
I move forward.
Always have. End of discussion.
318
00:11:43,791 --> 00:11:45,041
- [sighs]
319
00:11:45,125 --> 00:11:47,416
What a giant waste of time
this all was.
320
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:48,791
- Oh, I agree.
321
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,833
And my time is a lot
more valuable than yours.
322
00:11:50,916 --> 00:11:52,250
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
323
00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:54,666
What great opportunity
did I keep you from?
324
00:11:54,750 --> 00:11:57,833
Does KFC want you to be
the new Colonel Sanders?
325
00:11:57,916 --> 00:12:00,625
- Oh, and that just
wouldn't be cool, would it?
326
00:12:00,708 --> 00:12:03,500
God, I'm so sick
of your pretentious bullshit.
327
00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:05,208
What have you even done?
328
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,583
What I've done has gotten all
those people in those seats.
329
00:12:07,666 --> 00:12:09,416
What you've done has gotten you
booted out of LA,
330
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,125
and now you're getting
booted from here.
331
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:12,625
Get the hell out
of my dressing room.
332
00:12:12,708 --> 00:12:15,083
- No. You're just scared
to do the hard thing,
333
00:12:15,166 --> 00:12:18,250
so you're jumping at the first
possible chance to bail.
334
00:12:18,333 --> 00:12:20,916
You're gonna do the same old
tired shit you always do
335
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,833
because I was right
the day I met you.
336
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:24,750
You are a fucking hack.
337
00:12:29,375 --> 00:12:32,541
- Hello, my superstars.
Who's ready to be funny?
338
00:12:36,916 --> 00:12:38,625
- Who slaps people?
339
00:12:38,708 --> 00:12:40,250
[somber piano music]
340
00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:43,291
Well...I quit, obviously.
341
00:12:43,375 --> 00:12:49,125
♪ ♪
342
00:12:49,208 --> 00:12:50,583
- Oh, we're gonna
give you a minute.
343
00:12:50,666 --> 00:12:51,833
Kayla, let's go.
344
00:12:51,916 --> 00:12:58,666
♪ ♪
345
00:13:01,375 --> 00:13:03,500
[indistinct announcementover speakers]
346
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:06,708
[slot machine chiming]
347
00:13:08,416 --> 00:13:12,000
- I'll trade you a Xanny
for a cigarette.
348
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,291
- You got it.
349
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,500
[rock music]
350
00:13:14,583 --> 00:13:15,833
- It's Kayla.
351
00:13:15,916 --> 00:13:17,291
Leave a messageat the beep, babe.
352
00:13:17,375 --> 00:13:18,791
Beep.[laughs]
353
00:13:18,875 --> 00:13:20,166
Kidding.[beep]
354
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:22,291
- Hey, Kayla.
355
00:13:22,375 --> 00:13:25,000
Can you send me the emails
of those British writers?
356
00:13:25,083 --> 00:13:26,458
I know they're not
gonna hire me,
357
00:13:26,541 --> 00:13:28,666
but I have some stories
about Deborah
358
00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:30,750
they might want to use.
359
00:13:30,833 --> 00:13:34,333
♪ ♪
360
00:13:34,416 --> 00:13:37,291
[slot machine dings]
361
00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:41,041
[funky music]
362
00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:42,833
- [laughs]
363
00:13:42,916 --> 00:13:46,083
- You're a lucky man.
You're a lucky man to have her.
364
00:13:46,166 --> 00:13:47,375
- Oh, no, no, no.
She's my assistant.
365
00:13:47,458 --> 00:13:49,541
- Your sister?
- My assistant.
366
00:13:49,625 --> 00:13:51,041
- He wishes I was his sister.
367
00:13:51,125 --> 00:13:53,000
- [laughs]
Messy.
368
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,625
- Can you go get me a drink?
369
00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:56,666
- Absolutely. Love to.
370
00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:58,125
- [laughs]
- Excuse me.
371
00:13:58,208 --> 00:14:00,583
Uh, Deborah,
can I talk to you for a second?
372
00:14:00,666 --> 00:14:03,041
- Um, sure, of course.
Excuse us.
373
00:14:03,125 --> 00:14:04,875
- Okay, thank you.
374
00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:10,041
I know this isn't the best time
to do this,
375
00:14:10,125 --> 00:14:14,375
but I'm worried if I don't
say it now, I'll never say it.
376
00:14:14,458 --> 00:14:16,666
I realize that I've
prioritized your business--
377
00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:19,708
- And I have completely
taken that for granted.
378
00:14:19,791 --> 00:14:21,458
And I'm sorry. You were right.
379
00:14:21,541 --> 00:14:23,208
You've been right
the whole time, Marcus.
380
00:14:23,291 --> 00:14:26,166
I was wrong to cancel meetings
with you the last few weeks.
381
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:30,250
It's just been stupid and...
I want to take my business
382
00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:32,833
to the next level,
and I want to do it with you.
383
00:14:33,958 --> 00:14:37,583
- That's...what I want too,
exactly.
384
00:14:37,666 --> 00:14:39,083
- Good. Good.
385
00:14:39,166 --> 00:14:41,791
And I want to make you CEO,
effective immediately,
386
00:14:41,875 --> 00:14:44,958
with a 10% raise.
387
00:14:45,041 --> 00:14:47,541
- Okay.
Um...
388
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,625
Great. Thank you.
- No, please.
389
00:14:49,708 --> 00:14:52,875
Please don't thank me.
You deserve this.
390
00:14:52,958 --> 00:14:55,583
- So did you decide
on the shoes?
391
00:14:55,666 --> 00:14:58,791
- Oh, the shoes, yes.
Marcus, help me here.
392
00:14:58,875 --> 00:15:01,333
Do I wear the lower heel,
which I know I can walk in,
393
00:15:01,416 --> 00:15:03,958
or do I go
with the fabulous stilettos?
394
00:15:04,041 --> 00:15:06,916
- Aren't they gorgeous?
- Beautiful.
395
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,791
I think the low heel.
The pain's not worth it.
396
00:15:09,875 --> 00:15:13,250
- Hmm. Okay, thanks.
[laughs]
397
00:15:13,333 --> 00:15:15,625
♪ ♪
398
00:15:15,708 --> 00:15:18,625
- Hey.
- [chuckles] Hey.
399
00:15:18,708 --> 00:15:21,125
- You look great.
- You too.
400
00:15:21,208 --> 00:15:22,750
- So I have some good news.
401
00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:26,000
Deborah gave me a promotion,
and I am now the CEO.
402
00:15:26,083 --> 00:15:27,375
- That's awesome.
403
00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:28,791
But wait, I thought
you were already CEO.
404
00:15:28,875 --> 00:15:31,000
- I was COO.
- Oh, well, congrats.
405
00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:32,500
I'm glad you got your E.
- Thank you.
406
00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:34,250
- And based on what I know
about capitalism,
407
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:36,291
I think now you don't have
to worry about paying taxes.
408
00:15:36,375 --> 00:15:38,125
- [laughs] And I actually
didn't even have to go
409
00:15:38,208 --> 00:15:40,416
into my whole spiel.
She just did it.
410
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,166
- Wait, so you didn't
actually talk to her?
411
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:44,458
- No, I didn't have to.
412
00:15:44,541 --> 00:15:47,375
If this is about Zion,
we can still go.
413
00:15:47,458 --> 00:15:48,708
- We can still go?
- Yeah.
414
00:15:48,791 --> 00:15:50,250
- We're going.
The plan is to go.
415
00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:51,458
- Yes, of course.
416
00:15:51,541 --> 00:15:53,166
It's just,
I have this new role,
417
00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:55,333
so I'm gonna have to do
at least a little bit of work,
418
00:15:55,416 --> 00:15:57,333
just to stay on top of things
for the next couple weeks.
419
00:15:57,416 --> 00:15:59,041
- The point of the trip
is to not work.
420
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,500
- If you want to go
when I have less work,
421
00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:02,041
then we can go in the summer.
422
00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:04,166
- Look, I really like you,
but--
423
00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:05,625
- But what?
424
00:16:05,708 --> 00:16:07,250
If you think I'm not ready
for a relationship,
425
00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:10,333
because I'm--
- No. No, that's not it.
426
00:16:10,416 --> 00:16:12,500
'Cause you're already in
a relationship.
427
00:16:12,583 --> 00:16:13,875
With Deborah.
- No.
428
00:16:13,958 --> 00:16:16,041
Let's go outside and then talk.
429
00:16:16,125 --> 00:16:17,791
Whatever you want, I am in.
- Hey.
430
00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:19,291
Deborah's about
to do her toast.
431
00:16:19,375 --> 00:16:20,416
- Shit.
432
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:21,791
Okay, I do have
to go backstage.
433
00:16:21,875 --> 00:16:23,250
But come with me, all right?
434
00:16:23,333 --> 00:16:25,000
We can have some champagne.
We can sit.
435
00:16:25,083 --> 00:16:28,875
- No. I'm gonna go.
436
00:16:28,958 --> 00:16:30,666
- Wilson, I--
437
00:16:35,916 --> 00:16:38,375
[tapping glass]
438
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,916
Thank you,
every single one of you,
439
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,458
so, so much for coming tonight.
440
00:16:45,541 --> 00:16:47,250
And please,
when you're out there,
441
00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:48,541
when in doubt, laugh.
442
00:16:48,625 --> 00:16:50,333
[laughter]
And I beg you,
443
00:16:50,416 --> 00:16:53,041
don't let the standing ovation
go longer than five minutes.
444
00:16:53,125 --> 00:16:55,958
But not less than four,
'cause that's Celine's record.
445
00:16:56,041 --> 00:16:57,583
[laughter]
446
00:16:57,666 --> 00:16:59,708
Anyway, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go say my prayers,
447
00:16:59,791 --> 00:17:00,875
so I'll see you out there.
448
00:17:00,958 --> 00:17:02,083
Cheers.
all: Cheers.
449
00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:04,458
- Whoo!
450
00:17:04,541 --> 00:17:07,875
[clears throat]
Um, Deborah?
451
00:17:07,958 --> 00:17:09,041
- Jimmy?
452
00:17:09,125 --> 00:17:10,416
- I just wanted to say,
453
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,125
when my father passed,
454
00:17:12,208 --> 00:17:14,375
you didn't need
to stick with me, but you did.
455
00:17:14,458 --> 00:17:16,750
- Bitch, you got this, bitch!
456
00:17:16,833 --> 00:17:18,041
I believe in you, girlie.
457
00:17:18,125 --> 00:17:19,750
Mmm.
[laughs]
458
00:17:19,833 --> 00:17:21,541
- Get her out of here.
- Okay, let's go.
459
00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:23,458
Break a leg.
- Thanks.
460
00:17:29,166 --> 00:17:31,250
[sighs]
461
00:17:50,916 --> 00:17:53,875
[soft piano music]
462
00:17:53,958 --> 00:18:01,041
♪ ♪
463
00:18:14,666 --> 00:18:18,333
- Ladies and gentlemen,for the very last time
464
00:18:18,416 --> 00:18:22,625
at the Palmetto Theatre,please welcome to the stage
465
00:18:22,708 --> 00:18:29,708
the one, the only,Deborah Vance!
466
00:18:29,791 --> 00:18:32,750
[cheers and applause]
467
00:18:32,833 --> 00:18:39,291
♪ ♪
468
00:18:39,375 --> 00:18:41,291
- I love you. Thank you.
469
00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:45,291
Thank you so much, Las Vegas.
I love you!
470
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:48,500
[cheers and applause]
471
00:18:48,583 --> 00:18:51,250
You're gonna make me cry.
472
00:18:51,333 --> 00:18:54,041
You're gonna make me cry.
[laughs]
473
00:18:54,125 --> 00:18:57,083
[cheers and applause]
474
00:18:57,166 --> 00:18:59,125
Oh, thank you.
475
00:18:59,208 --> 00:19:02,208
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
476
00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:06,041
It is wonderful to be
at the Palmetto
477
00:19:06,125 --> 00:19:07,833
one last time.
478
00:19:07,916 --> 00:19:10,083
all: Aww.
479
00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:12,958
- I know. I know.
480
00:19:13,041 --> 00:19:15,250
Wow.
481
00:19:15,333 --> 00:19:18,541
I have been up here
on this stage
482
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:22,000
through so much over the years.
483
00:19:22,083 --> 00:19:26,750
When the Berlin Wall came down,
I was on this stage.
484
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:30,708
When people were hiding
in their bomb shelters on Y2K,
485
00:19:30,791 --> 00:19:32,583
I was on this stage.
486
00:19:32,666 --> 00:19:34,708
When Bernie Madoff
got arrested,
487
00:19:34,791 --> 00:19:36,291
I was on the phone
with my accountant
488
00:19:36,375 --> 00:19:37,708
crying hysterically.
489
00:19:37,791 --> 00:19:40,875
[laughter]
490
00:19:40,958 --> 00:19:43,291
And on every one
of those nights,
491
00:19:43,375 --> 00:19:46,250
I told a lot of the same jokes.
492
00:19:48,041 --> 00:19:51,000
But tonight, I'm not gonna
tell you those same ones.
493
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:56,083
Instead...
494
00:19:56,166 --> 00:19:59,958
I'm gonna tell you why...
495
00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:01,625
I told those jokes.
496
00:20:01,708 --> 00:20:04,625
[hopeful music]
497
00:20:04,708 --> 00:20:11,416
♪ ♪
498
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:14,583
[wind whistling]
499
00:20:22,708 --> 00:20:24,125
- Hi, Mom.
- Oh.
500
00:20:24,208 --> 00:20:26,750
- I'm so sorry.
I can't believe I missed him.
501
00:20:26,833 --> 00:20:28,166
- Oh, honey.
502
00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:31,250
Ugh, I'm sorry.
I can't hang up right now.
503
00:20:31,333 --> 00:20:33,666
I've been on hold
for 40 minutes.
504
00:20:33,750 --> 00:20:35,750
Um, was your flight okay?
505
00:20:35,833 --> 00:20:38,291
- Yeah, it was fine.
- Hello? Hello?
506
00:20:38,375 --> 00:20:41,083
No, look, I just--I can't.
I can't do this right now.
507
00:20:41,166 --> 00:20:43,250
Can you do this?
- Yeah.
508
00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:44,750
Hello?
- No one's there.
509
00:20:44,833 --> 00:20:46,541
No one's there right now,
but when they get on,
510
00:20:46,625 --> 00:20:50,125
tell them that you need
to cancel the baseball channels
511
00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:52,125
for the account
of Dennis Daniels.
512
00:20:52,208 --> 00:20:53,666
And the reason
for the cancellation
513
00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:55,000
is that he's deceased.
514
00:20:55,083 --> 00:20:56,750
- Mom, please,
the baseball channel?
515
00:20:56,833 --> 00:20:59,625
Can--it's so late.
Can we please do this tomorrow?
516
00:20:59,708 --> 00:21:01,791
- Tomorrow we have to call
the cousins.
517
00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:10,125
[bright music]
518
00:21:10,208 --> 00:21:13,125
[scratching]
519
00:21:13,208 --> 00:21:17,375
♪ ♪
520
00:21:17,458 --> 00:21:21,708
[meowing]
521
00:21:21,791 --> 00:21:24,041
- Ugh.
522
00:21:29,541 --> 00:21:31,833
[sighs]
523
00:21:47,166 --> 00:21:49,208
- Ava? Oh, good.
524
00:21:49,291 --> 00:21:51,666
You're awake so early.
- Yeah, I do that now.
525
00:21:51,750 --> 00:21:54,833
I gotta be up before
Kelly Ripa's day is done.
526
00:21:54,916 --> 00:21:57,333
Um, when did you get a cat?
527
00:21:57,416 --> 00:22:00,166
- You were here
when we got Mr. Cream Pie.
528
00:22:00,250 --> 00:22:01,666
- No, I wasn't.
First of all,
529
00:22:01,750 --> 00:22:03,166
I'm allergic to cats,
and also, if I was here,
530
00:22:03,250 --> 00:22:04,583
I wouldn't have let you
name him that.
531
00:22:04,666 --> 00:22:06,833
- You named him. I remember.
- Oh, no.
532
00:22:06,916 --> 00:22:09,500
Oh, no, I didn't.
- I said, what do we think?
533
00:22:09,583 --> 00:22:11,666
And you didn't know--
is he male, female?
534
00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:13,833
I said he's male.
You said Mr. Cream Pie.
535
00:22:13,916 --> 00:22:15,458
- Yeah, Ma,
none of that happened.
536
00:22:15,541 --> 00:22:16,875
Yeah, literally none of it.
- Okay.
537
00:22:16,958 --> 00:22:20,750
Anyway, look, I--
do you like this image
538
00:22:20,833 --> 00:22:22,166
that I--I chose that
539
00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:25,041
for your father's
prayer ca-card.
540
00:22:25,125 --> 00:22:27,333
- Yeah. Yeah, it's nice.
541
00:22:27,416 --> 00:22:29,541
"He is survived
by his loving wife Nina
542
00:22:29,625 --> 00:22:31,916
and his daughter Ava Daniels
of Las Vegas, Nevada"?
543
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,625
Mom, I don't live in Las Vegas.
544
00:22:33,708 --> 00:22:35,583
- Well, last I heard,
yes, you do,
545
00:22:35,666 --> 00:22:37,708
unless you moved again
without telling me.
546
00:22:37,791 --> 00:22:40,041
- No, no.
I just went there for a job.
547
00:22:40,125 --> 00:22:42,708
And it ended up
really not working out.
548
00:22:42,791 --> 00:22:45,541
So I'm not going back.
- Oh, God.
549
00:22:45,625 --> 00:22:47,708
- Mom, are you freaking out?
- Yeah, a little.
550
00:22:47,791 --> 00:22:49,375
'Cause it's just--you know,
551
00:22:49,458 --> 00:22:51,708
you've chosen
such an unstable career,
552
00:22:51,791 --> 00:22:54,083
and no mother wants to watch
her child suffer.
553
00:22:54,166 --> 00:22:55,791
And now we'll have
to euthanize the cat.
554
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:57,125
- What?
- Yes!
555
00:22:57,208 --> 00:22:59,208
We have to euthanize
Mr. Cream Pie
556
00:22:59,291 --> 00:23:00,916
because he's going to have
to leave this room
557
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,875
when you move in,
and it is just wrong
558
00:23:02,958 --> 00:23:04,416
to take a cat
back to the shelter, Ava.
559
00:23:04,500 --> 00:23:05,916
It's just wrong.
560
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,208
- No, I'm not moving back in.
561
00:23:07,291 --> 00:23:08,708
Can we--forget it.
562
00:23:08,791 --> 00:23:11,333
Let's just focus
on the arrangements, please.
563
00:23:11,416 --> 00:23:13,208
Please.
- All right.
564
00:23:13,291 --> 00:23:16,250
For the service,
you're reading Lamentations.
565
00:23:16,333 --> 00:23:17,375
- Oh.
566
00:23:17,458 --> 00:23:18,791
Well, I wanted
to read a eulogy.
567
00:23:18,875 --> 00:23:20,666
I just started working on it.
568
00:23:20,750 --> 00:23:23,416
- A eulogy? Ava, please.
569
00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:24,875
It's your father's funeral.
570
00:23:24,958 --> 00:23:27,875
I don't need you
saying anything crazy,
571
00:23:27,958 --> 00:23:29,916
like when you told
your grandmother
572
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,291
that you were pro-choice.
573
00:23:31,375 --> 00:23:32,750
- But I am pro-choice.
574
00:23:32,833 --> 00:23:35,125
- Yeah, but you don't need
to say it.
575
00:23:35,208 --> 00:23:36,833
Please, just stick
to the reading.
576
00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:39,791
- Okay, I just--I think
it would be more personal
577
00:23:39,875 --> 00:23:41,250
to read something
that I've written,
578
00:23:41,333 --> 00:23:43,791
not, like, just some
stock Bible passage.
579
00:23:43,875 --> 00:23:46,875
- Okay, so now you're a better
writer than God.
580
00:23:46,958 --> 00:23:48,125
I get it.
- Yeah, Mom.
581
00:23:48,208 --> 00:23:49,625
Well, God didn't
write Lamentations,
582
00:23:49,708 --> 00:23:51,708
and also, He doesn't exist.
583
00:23:51,791 --> 00:23:53,583
- Ah! Not now!
584
00:23:53,666 --> 00:23:55,666
Ava, I know that you think
585
00:23:55,750 --> 00:23:57,375
that everybody needs
to hear from you,
586
00:23:57,458 --> 00:24:00,458
but it's just--it's just--
it's your father's funeral.
587
00:24:00,541 --> 00:24:02,833
Today has to be about your dad.
588
00:24:02,916 --> 00:24:04,791
- You know what?
You're right. You're right.
589
00:24:04,875 --> 00:24:06,291
No one does want
to hear from me
590
00:24:06,375 --> 00:24:08,708
or read what I've written
or say it on stage,
591
00:24:08,791 --> 00:24:11,791
so I'm just gonna stop trying.
592
00:24:11,875 --> 00:24:14,541
I'll do whatever you want.
- Okay, great.
593
00:24:14,625 --> 00:24:16,291
Do you want some coffee?
594
00:24:16,375 --> 00:24:19,458
I made some.
Anniversary blend?
595
00:24:19,541 --> 00:24:21,916
- Yeah, all right.
- Okay, great.
596
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,916
[soft music]
597
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:29,041
♪ ♪
598
00:24:29,125 --> 00:24:30,958
- Thank you for coming.
599
00:24:31,041 --> 00:24:33,333
- Before we move to the mass
600
00:24:33,416 --> 00:24:35,125
at St. Elizabeth's,
we'd like to invite anyone
601
00:24:35,208 --> 00:24:38,416
who'd like to say a few words
about Dennis to do so now.
602
00:24:40,791 --> 00:24:44,500
Is there anyone
that would like to stand up?
603
00:24:45,625 --> 00:24:48,166
Say a few words?
604
00:24:48,250 --> 00:24:52,458
- [sobbing]
605
00:24:52,541 --> 00:24:54,666
- Oh, God.
This is so awkward.
606
00:24:54,750 --> 00:24:56,791
This is painful.
Excuse me.
607
00:24:56,875 --> 00:24:58,833
This is not how
you're supposed to do this.
608
00:24:58,916 --> 00:25:01,458
Excuse me. Sorry.
If-if you wouldn't mind.
609
00:25:01,541 --> 00:25:04,875
Just--um, yeah,
see, you can't just ask people
610
00:25:04,958 --> 00:25:07,875
to come up impromptu
and not warmed up.
611
00:25:07,958 --> 00:25:10,333
Because it's just too hard
to do cold, you know.
612
00:25:10,416 --> 00:25:14,541
There's just too much pressure.
And these people are exhausted.
613
00:25:16,333 --> 00:25:21,041
It's exhausting to lose
a loved one.
614
00:25:21,125 --> 00:25:22,375
And now
everybody's uncomfortable
615
00:25:22,458 --> 00:25:23,791
because they think
that no one has
616
00:25:23,875 --> 00:25:26,250
anything nice to say
about this man.
617
00:25:26,333 --> 00:25:27,708
And I know that you do.
618
00:25:27,791 --> 00:25:29,125
Not because I knew him.
I didn't.
619
00:25:29,208 --> 00:25:31,166
But I know his daughter.
620
00:25:31,250 --> 00:25:34,333
And I know that he had to be
a very special person
621
00:25:34,416 --> 00:25:37,000
to raise someone like her.
622
00:25:38,791 --> 00:25:41,708
So let's try this again.
623
00:25:41,791 --> 00:25:45,583
Uh, you, sir.
How did you know Dennis?
624
00:25:45,666 --> 00:25:47,958
- Uh, he was my cousin.
- Oh, I'm sorry for your loss.
625
00:25:48,041 --> 00:25:49,291
- Thank you.
626
00:25:49,375 --> 00:25:51,416
- So what was the drunkest
you ever saw him?
627
00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:53,750
[laughter]
- Oh. Wow.
628
00:25:53,833 --> 00:25:56,875
Well, you know, when he had
so many screwdrivers
629
00:25:56,958 --> 00:25:58,541
the night before my wedding,
630
00:25:58,625 --> 00:26:01,083
he went back to my room
and threw up in my dress shoes.
631
00:26:01,166 --> 00:26:03,208
[laughter]
- He did.
632
00:26:03,291 --> 00:26:05,625
My, God.
I'd forgotten about that.
633
00:26:05,708 --> 00:26:07,958
- He'd already have been dead
at my house.
634
00:26:08,041 --> 00:26:09,375
- Well, I didn't know about it.
635
00:26:09,458 --> 00:26:10,708
Because he felt so bad,
636
00:26:10,791 --> 00:26:13,083
he switched out
his shoes for mine.
637
00:26:13,166 --> 00:26:14,750
I only realized it
when I got to the altar,
638
00:26:14,833 --> 00:26:17,750
and I looked down
and he's wearing flip flops.
639
00:26:17,833 --> 00:26:19,666
- Oh, my God,
it was a blizzard
640
00:26:19,750 --> 00:26:21,916
and he was just
in his little...
641
00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:23,416
[laughter]
642
00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:26,333
♪ ♪
643
00:26:26,416 --> 00:26:28,250
- Oh, my God.
Hey, excuse me, Miss, you.
644
00:26:28,333 --> 00:26:30,333
Did Dennis ever get you
into any kind of trouble?
645
00:26:30,416 --> 00:26:32,166
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, boy, here we go.
646
00:26:32,250 --> 00:26:34,250
- Oh, it involved
an ice cream truck
647
00:26:34,333 --> 00:26:37,416
and a hot wire,
and that's as far as I will go.
648
00:26:37,500 --> 00:26:39,166
[laughter]
649
00:26:39,250 --> 00:26:44,208
♪ ♪
650
00:26:44,291 --> 00:26:46,125
[soft chatter]
651
00:26:46,208 --> 00:26:48,375
- Oh, my God, Wendy.
652
00:26:48,458 --> 00:26:50,666
Oh, I love you.
Thank you for coming.
653
00:26:50,750 --> 00:26:52,541
Thank you.
654
00:26:52,625 --> 00:26:54,041
I mean, it's Wendy, right?
655
00:27:07,375 --> 00:27:09,333
- Hey, shoes off.
656
00:27:09,416 --> 00:27:11,291
- Really?
- No, I'm just kidding.
657
00:27:11,375 --> 00:27:14,125
It smells
like cat shit in here.
658
00:27:14,208 --> 00:27:17,666
- Uh, by the way, this?
659
00:27:17,750 --> 00:27:19,791
Positively extra-terrestrial.
660
00:27:19,875 --> 00:27:21,583
- Yeah, you were right
about that.
661
00:27:21,666 --> 00:27:23,500
I've had gigantic hands
my entire life.
662
00:27:23,583 --> 00:27:24,750
Yesterday, I went
into the garage
663
00:27:24,833 --> 00:27:26,416
and I found a basketball,
and yeah,
664
00:27:26,500 --> 00:27:28,166
I can absolutely palm it.
665
00:27:28,250 --> 00:27:30,458
- [chuckles]
666
00:27:30,541 --> 00:27:32,125
- Sorry, I've been
running around.
667
00:27:32,208 --> 00:27:33,916
- Oh.
668
00:27:36,958 --> 00:27:38,958
- A lot of people to talk to.
- Mm-hmm.
669
00:27:39,041 --> 00:27:41,708
- Especially my Uncle Mitch,
who really doesn't want me
670
00:27:41,791 --> 00:27:43,291
to do 23andMe,
671
00:27:43,375 --> 00:27:46,083
so now I'm pretty much
convinced he's a serial killer.
672
00:27:46,166 --> 00:27:49,000
- Yeah, one in every family.
- [laughs]
673
00:27:52,791 --> 00:27:54,833
- How're you doin'?
674
00:27:54,916 --> 00:27:56,875
- Honestly?
675
00:27:56,958 --> 00:27:58,958
Weirdly fine.
676
00:27:59,041 --> 00:28:00,666
Or, like, numb?
677
00:28:00,750 --> 00:28:02,833
I don't know.
I haven't even cried yet.
678
00:28:02,916 --> 00:28:05,916
When does it, like, hit you?
679
00:28:08,500 --> 00:28:09,750
- Never all at once.
680
00:28:09,833 --> 00:28:12,791
It's just kind of a bunch
of tiny ways.
681
00:28:12,875 --> 00:28:14,833
You know, like, over and over,
682
00:28:14,916 --> 00:28:18,333
just--well, that's how it was
for me.
683
00:28:19,958 --> 00:28:22,500
- I've mostly just been busy
making sure my mom's head
684
00:28:22,583 --> 00:28:24,541
doesn't fly fully
off of her body.
685
00:28:24,625 --> 00:28:27,208
- Mm.
- Thanks for making her laugh.
686
00:28:27,291 --> 00:28:29,375
- Sure.
[chuckles]
687
00:28:31,708 --> 00:28:34,458
- Being back in this house
is just making me remember
688
00:28:34,541 --> 00:28:36,875
that I always felt
689
00:28:36,958 --> 00:28:40,000
really, really lonely here.
690
00:28:40,083 --> 00:28:41,416
I think that's why
691
00:28:41,500 --> 00:28:43,083
I started doing comedy
in the first place.
692
00:28:43,166 --> 00:28:46,916
Because it was just a way
for me to feel connected
693
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,208
to people who thought
about things the way I did.
694
00:28:49,291 --> 00:28:51,333
But now I'm just like,
695
00:28:51,416 --> 00:28:53,291
maybe I shouldn't shape
my entire existence
696
00:28:53,375 --> 00:28:56,208
around a response
to a shitty childhood.
697
00:28:56,291 --> 00:28:59,666
That's not a very good reason
to pursue a career.
698
00:29:00,875 --> 00:29:02,541
- I don't know if that's true.
699
00:29:02,625 --> 00:29:04,875
I mean, what's a good reason
to pursue any career?
700
00:29:04,958 --> 00:29:06,916
- Your grandfather owned
a cement truck,
701
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,500
and your name's already
on the side of it?
702
00:29:09,583 --> 00:29:11,125
- Yeah, there's that.
703
00:29:14,666 --> 00:29:16,250
- I'm not sure.
704
00:29:16,333 --> 00:29:18,958
But I gotta figure
something else out.
705
00:29:19,041 --> 00:29:21,958
'Cause I'm done.
706
00:29:24,166 --> 00:29:27,208
- Well, no.
707
00:29:27,291 --> 00:29:29,208
You can't quit.
708
00:29:29,291 --> 00:29:31,541
You're too good.
709
00:29:38,875 --> 00:29:40,041
- [softly]
I'm sorry.
710
00:29:40,125 --> 00:29:42,375
[sobbing]
711
00:29:42,458 --> 00:29:46,000
- You know, crying...
712
00:29:46,083 --> 00:29:49,166
gives you wrinkles.
713
00:29:49,250 --> 00:29:50,541
You need to learn how to cry
714
00:29:50,625 --> 00:29:52,125
without moving your forehead
at all.
715
00:29:52,208 --> 00:29:53,916
It's like--
716
00:29:59,333 --> 00:30:01,541
- That's how you cry?
- Yeah, I trained myself.
717
00:30:01,625 --> 00:30:02,791
I'm a pro.
718
00:30:02,875 --> 00:30:04,833
- [laughs]
You are.
719
00:30:04,916 --> 00:30:06,166
- Plus, you know,
a little injection
720
00:30:06,250 --> 00:30:08,000
here and here
doesn't hurt either.
721
00:30:08,083 --> 00:30:11,333
- [laughs]
722
00:30:14,083 --> 00:30:17,083
Oh, shit. The show.
723
00:30:17,166 --> 00:30:18,541
How did it go?
724
00:30:18,625 --> 00:30:21,833
- Well, I did the new material.
725
00:30:21,916 --> 00:30:23,916
- And?
726
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,458
- I bombed.
727
00:30:25,541 --> 00:30:26,708
- You're joking.
728
00:30:26,791 --> 00:30:29,625
- Well, a few things worked,
but...
729
00:30:29,708 --> 00:30:31,583
yeah, I mostly bombed.
730
00:30:31,666 --> 00:30:33,666
- Oh, no.
731
00:30:33,750 --> 00:30:36,916
Did you come all the way here
to bury me with my dad?
732
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:40,625
- No. No, I-I bombed.
733
00:30:42,625 --> 00:30:46,541
And I loved it.
734
00:30:46,625 --> 00:30:49,375
I haven't felt
that way in years.
735
00:30:49,458 --> 00:30:51,916
The show didn't work,
but it will.
736
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000
The pieces are there.
737
00:30:54,083 --> 00:30:57,708
I just have to figure out
how to put them together.
738
00:30:57,791 --> 00:31:02,083
And the best way to do that
is to work it out on the road.
739
00:31:03,208 --> 00:31:06,541
- So you're gonna go
on tour again.
740
00:31:06,625 --> 00:31:09,666
- Yes.
741
00:31:09,750 --> 00:31:11,875
With you. I hope.
742
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:16,666
I mean, the show was
your idea, after all.
743
00:31:20,708 --> 00:31:24,083
- And you, like,
can't do it without me?
744
00:31:24,166 --> 00:31:26,958
- Oh, I could absolutely
do it without you.
745
00:31:27,041 --> 00:31:29,208
But, you know,
it would probably be,
746
00:31:29,291 --> 00:31:31,625
you know, a lot less fun.
747
00:31:34,375 --> 00:31:37,333
- Okay, but you really
can't hit people.
748
00:31:37,416 --> 00:31:41,041
- I know. I-I'm so sorry.
749
00:31:41,125 --> 00:31:42,916
- So are you ever gonna
do that again?
750
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,125
- No.
- And are you gonna switch
751
00:31:45,208 --> 00:31:46,916
to a health plan
that covers dental?
752
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:47,958
- No.
753
00:31:48,041 --> 00:31:49,750
- [laughs]
754
00:31:53,958 --> 00:31:55,583
Deal.
755
00:31:55,666 --> 00:31:58,583
[soft piano music]
756
00:31:58,666 --> 00:32:05,791
♪ ♪
757
00:32:08,208 --> 00:32:10,291
- I'm kidding. I'm joking.
758
00:32:10,375 --> 00:32:11,625
- Just doing
some last minute approval
759
00:32:11,708 --> 00:32:13,250
of the "Best Of" compilation.
760
00:32:13,333 --> 00:32:14,333
- Ah.
761
00:32:14,416 --> 00:32:18,416
♪ ♪
762
00:32:18,500 --> 00:32:20,041
You okay?
763
00:32:20,125 --> 00:32:22,375
- Yeah, everything's great.
764
00:32:22,458 --> 00:32:25,041
I'm CEO now.
765
00:32:25,125 --> 00:32:27,833
- Mm-hmm.
766
00:32:30,458 --> 00:32:34,416
Do you have on toe shoes?
767
00:32:34,500 --> 00:32:35,375
- Yeah.
768
00:32:35,458 --> 00:32:37,208
- They're ugly, honey.
769
00:32:37,291 --> 00:32:41,833
♪ ♪
770
00:32:41,916 --> 00:32:43,500
- Yeah, I know.
771
00:32:43,583 --> 00:32:50,666
♪ ♪
772
00:32:55,166 --> 00:32:58,208
[phone ringing]
773
00:32:58,291 --> 00:32:59,666
- Hi. I only have a second.
774
00:32:59,750 --> 00:33:01,791
I'm on my way back to Vegas
with Deborah.
775
00:33:01,875 --> 00:33:03,500
- Well, that's interesting,because you know
776
00:33:03,583 --> 00:33:06,000
those British writers
that Kayla had you meet with?
777
00:33:06,083 --> 00:33:08,125
I just got a call
from their agent
778
00:33:08,208 --> 00:33:10,333
about a very intense
and revealing email
779
00:33:10,416 --> 00:33:12,750
you apparently sent
about Deborah.
780
00:33:12,833 --> 00:33:14,625
What the fuck did you do, Ava?
781
00:33:14,708 --> 00:33:18,250
- We're cleared for takeoff.
- Thank you.
782
00:33:18,333 --> 00:33:20,083
- Uh, Jimmy,
I gotta call you back.
783
00:33:20,166 --> 00:33:21,541
- Yeah, you'd better.
784
00:33:21,625 --> 00:33:23,541
[Nina Simone's "Feeling Good"]
785
00:33:23,625 --> 00:33:25,583
- ♪ River running free ♪
786
00:33:25,666 --> 00:33:29,500
♪ You know how I feel ♪
787
00:33:29,583 --> 00:33:32,208
- Buckle up.
Here we go.
788
00:33:32,291 --> 00:33:34,500
- ♪ You know how I feel ♪
789
00:33:34,583 --> 00:33:37,875
♪ It's a new dawn,it's a new day ♪
790
00:33:37,958 --> 00:33:40,708
♪ It's a new life ♪
791
00:33:40,791 --> 00:33:43,375
♪ For me ♪
792
00:33:43,458 --> 00:33:47,500
♪ And I'm feeling good ♪
793
00:33:47,583 --> 00:33:51,208
♪ ♪
794
00:33:51,291 --> 00:33:53,541
♪ Dragonfly out in the sun ♪
795
00:33:53,625 --> 00:33:57,875
♪ You know what I mean,don't you know? ♪
796
00:33:57,958 --> 00:34:00,708
♪ Butterflies all having fun ♪
797
00:34:00,791 --> 00:34:04,208
♪ You know what I mean ♪
798
00:34:04,291 --> 00:34:07,291
♪ Sleep in peacewhen day is done ♪
799
00:34:07,375 --> 00:34:09,583
♪ That's what I mean ♪
800
00:34:09,666 --> 00:34:13,000
♪ And this old worldis a new world ♪
801
00:34:13,083 --> 00:34:15,916
♪ And a bold world ♪
802
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:17,875
♪ For me ♪
803
00:34:17,958 --> 00:34:19,541
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
804
00:34:19,625 --> 00:34:23,750
♪ ♪
805
00:34:23,833 --> 00:34:28,875
♪ Stars when you shine,you know how I feel ♪
806
00:34:30,500 --> 00:34:35,166
♪ Scent of the pine,you know how I feel ♪
807
00:34:35,250 --> 00:34:39,375
♪ Oh, freedom is mine ♪
808
00:34:39,458 --> 00:34:42,208
♪ And I know how I feel ♪
809
00:34:42,291 --> 00:34:45,583
♪ It's a new dawn,it's a new day ♪
810
00:34:45,666 --> 00:34:48,166
♪ It's a new life ♪
811
00:34:48,250 --> 00:34:50,291
♪ For me ♪
812
00:34:50,375 --> 00:34:52,125
[scatting]
813
00:34:52,208 --> 00:34:57,791
♪ Oh, I'm feeling good ♪
814
00:34:57,841 --> 00:35:02,391
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
58622
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.