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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:12,050 [ PIGEONS COO ] 2 00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:14,781 >> IT WAS ALL TOO EASY TO 3 00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:16,052 CAPTURE THE GREAT 4 00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:16,780 TRENT HAUSER. 5 00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:18,454 >> Sam: GIVE IT UP, LEMUIR. 6 00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:19,492 THE JIG IS UP. 7 00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,487 >> AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M 8 00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:22,819 READY TO JUST RELEASE 9 00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:24,593 NTSF:SD:SUV::'S NUMBER-ONE 10 00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:25,292 AGENT? 11 00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:26,733 >> Sam: WHO SAYS HE'S NUMBER 12 00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:27,257 ONE? 13 00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:27,731 >> YOU? 14 00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:29,428 WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, BLOG 15 00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:30,260 ME TO DEATH? 16 00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:31,774 >> Sam: NO, I'M GONNA KILL YOU 17 00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:35,765 TO DEATH. 18 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:37,139 >> Trent: THANKS, TRENT. 19 00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:38,308 >> Sam: YOU GOT IT, SAM. 20 00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:39,636 TOO BAD LEMUIR DIDN'T COUNT ON 21 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,640 US SWITCHING FACES. 22 00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:41,681 >> WAIT... 23 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:43,235 YOU TWO SWITCHED FACES? 24 00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:45,084 WHAT POSSIBLE GOOD COULD THAT 25 00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:46,309 DO FOR THIS MISSION? 26 00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:47,624 >> Trent: WELL, HE... 27 00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:48,515 [ GUNSHOT ] 28 00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:50,416 >> Trent: LOOKS LIKE HE HAD AN 29 00:00:50,418 --> 00:00:52,248 ACE IN HIS FACE. 30 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:53,193 OR WAIT, NO -- 31 00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:54,357 >> Sam: STOP! 32 00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:56,785 LOOKS LIKE HIS PLAN FELL FLAT ON 33 00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:58,260 ITS FACE. 34 00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:01,829 >> DIEGO! 35 00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:04,799 >> * OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH 36 00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:09,138 * OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH 37 00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:10,297 >> DIEGO! 38 00:01:11,539 --> 00:01:12,769 >> YOU GUYS GOT BACK JUST IN 39 00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:13,273 TIME. 40 00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:14,344 A FEW MORE HOURS IN THE FIELD 41 00:01:14,342 --> 00:01:15,382 WITHOUT THE IMMUNO-SUPPRESSOR 42 00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:16,406 MEDICATION, AND YOUR BODIES 43 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,380 WOULD START TO REJECT YOUR 44 00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:17,878 FACES. 45 00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:19,208 >> Kove: IT'S JUST AMAZING HOW 46 00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:20,383 FAR FACE-SWAPPING TECHNOLOGY HAS 47 00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:20,681 COME. 48 00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:21,581 IN MY DAY, WE DID IT WITH 49 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:22,682 NOTHING BUT STAPLES, THE FACE OF 50 00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,793 A DRIFTER, AND GUMPTION. 51 00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:25,745 >> Piper: LET'S CHANGE YOUR 52 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:26,353 FACES BACK. 53 00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:27,464 >> Trent: MAN, DO WE REALLY HAVE 54 00:01:27,455 --> 00:01:28,255 TO SWITCH OUR FACES? 55 00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:29,686 I KIND OF LIKE BEING TRENT. 56 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:30,660 >> Sam: GOD, NO. 57 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:32,488 I CAN'T SPEND ONE MORE MINUTE IN 58 00:01:32,493 --> 00:01:34,463 THIS...BODY WITH THIS 59 00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:36,202 GIN BLOSSOMS TATTOO BEHIND MY 60 00:01:36,197 --> 00:01:36,557 EAR. 61 00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:37,204 [ SIGHS ] 62 00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:38,498 >> Piper: DAISY, ARE YOU GONNA 63 00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:39,699 BE THERE ON FRIDAY NIGHT AT 64 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:40,500 MY GAME NIGHT? 65 00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:41,871 BECAUSE I JUST GOT THIS NEW GAME 66 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,269 WHERE YOU ACTUALLY TRADE IN 67 00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:43,641 GRAINS -- 68 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:44,637 >> OH, YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, I 69 00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:45,308 HAVE A THING. 70 00:01:45,306 --> 00:01:47,236 I'LL TRY TO SWING BY. 71 00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:48,281 >> Piper: OKAY. 72 00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:50,176 COMMANDER KOVE, ARE YOU GONNA BE 73 00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:51,478 THERE ON FRIDAY NIGHT? 74 00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:52,749 >> Kove: WHAT? WHAT'S THAT? 75 00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:54,176 I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THIS 76 00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:56,652 FACE-SWAPPING MACHINE. 77 00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:59,520 >> Trent: [ SIGHS ] 78 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,390 OH, MAN. 79 00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:03,919 I CAN'T GO BACK TO THAT FACE. 80 00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:04,764 >> Piper: TRENT! 81 00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:06,728 OH, WAIT, NO...SAM! 82 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,357 NO...TRENT! 83 00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:09,362 >> Alphonse: HEY, TRENT, YOU'RE 84 00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:09,733 BACK. 85 00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:10,830 >> Trent: GET THE HELL OUT OF 86 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:11,631 THE WAY, ALPHONSE! 87 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:12,732 >> Alphonse: "GET THE HELL OUT 88 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:13,873 OF MY WAY, ALPHONSE" -- CLASSIC 89 00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:14,837 TRENT. 90 00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:17,714 >> Kove: IS HE AWAKE? 91 00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,205 DO YOU NEED TO OPERATE? 92 00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:20,537 >> Sam: MIRROR. 93 00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:24,481 MIRROR! 94 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,808 [ GRUNTS ] 95 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:26,713 WHERE'S MY FACE? 96 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,284 >> Kove: YOUR FACE WAS STOLEN. 97 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,382 SAM MADE OFF WITH IT. 98 00:02:29,383 --> 00:02:30,723 THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO, SO 99 00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:31,818 LET'S NOT DWELL ON IT. 100 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:34,419 >> Piper: TRENT, WE ARE GOING TO 101 00:02:34,422 --> 00:02:35,792 FIND HIM. 102 00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:36,919 PROBABLY. 103 00:02:36,924 --> 00:02:37,864 >> Trent: OKAY, SAM. 104 00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:38,928 YOU'RE TRENT NOW, RIGHT? 105 00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:40,426 SO, ALL I HAVE TO DO IS ACT COOL 106 00:02:40,428 --> 00:02:42,798 LIKE TRENT DOES -- HAUSER STYLE, 107 00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,866 YEAH, HAUSER STYLE -- I LIKE 108 00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:45,425 THAT. 109 00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:46,903 JUST BE VERY COOL. 110 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:47,840 >> [ CLEARS THROAT ] 111 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,195 YOU PICKED THE WRONG ALLEY, 112 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:49,543 FRIEND. 113 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:50,767 >> HAND OVER THE WALLET, MAN. 114 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,271 >> Trent: I'LL GIVE YOU WHATEVER 115 00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:53,443 YOU WANT, JUST DON'T HURT MY 116 00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:53,741 FACE. 117 00:02:53,741 --> 00:02:54,511 I JUST GOT IT! 118 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,738 >> OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, 119 00:02:55,743 --> 00:02:57,213 THAT'S THAT CRAZY NTSF AGENT -- 120 00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:58,451 THE ONE WHO HAD US SENT OUT TO 121 00:02:58,446 --> 00:02:59,546 GITMO FOR LOITERING, MAN. 122 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:00,207 >> OH. NO. 123 00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:01,524 PLEASE, I CAN'T SPEND ANOTHER 124 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,815 DECADE OF MY LIFE IN A STRESS 125 00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:03,446 POSITION. 126 00:03:03,451 --> 00:03:04,391 >> YOU KNOW WHAT? 127 00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:05,445 TAKE OUR WALLETS, MAN. 128 00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:06,453 >> TAKE OUR WALLETS. 129 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:07,364 >> OKAY, TAKE IT! 130 00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:08,455 >> [ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ] 131 00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:09,816 >> Trent: LOOKS LIKE MY NEW MUG 132 00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,733 IS PREVENTING ME FROM GETTING 133 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:12,425 MUGGED. 134 00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:13,286 [ LAUGHS ] 135 00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:14,834 I'M GETTING PRETTY GOOD AT PU-- 136 00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:15,598 OH, SORRY. 137 00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:16,756 GETTING PRETTY -- 138 00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:18,304 [ SCOFFS ] 139 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,499 THIS IS HARDER THAN IT LOOKS. 140 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:21,871 >> Sam: IF I WERE SAM, WHAT 141 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:22,669 WOULD I DO? 142 00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:24,410 >> Alphonse: PROBABLY TRY AND GO 143 00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:25,605 SWIMMING IN A T-SHIRT. 144 00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,776 [ ALL CHUCKLE ] 145 00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:28,635 >> Sam: WHAT'S THIS? 146 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:30,442 SOME KIND OF COMMIE BIKE CLUB? 147 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:31,954 LOOKS LIKE I'M GOING TO HAVE 148 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:35,345 TO...FOLLOW THAT NERD. 149 00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,949 >> NICE PUN, TRENT. 150 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:37,890 GOOD LUCK. 151 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:38,685 >> POOR TRENT! 152 00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:40,016 YOU KNOW SAM COULD HAVE STOLEN 153 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,390 ANY ONE OF OUR FACES, EVEN 154 00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:41,919 ALPHONSE'S. 155 00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:43,422 >> Alphonse: HE WOULDN'T STEAL 156 00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:44,364 MY FACE, WOULD HE? 157 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:45,688 >> Kove: WE'RE ALL POTENTIAL 158 00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,303 FACE-THEFT TARGETS, AND THERE'S 159 00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:48,725 NO TELLING HOW LOW A LOSER LIKE 160 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:49,529 SAM MIGHT GO. 161 00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:50,800 >> Piper: WOW, WE'RE BEING 162 00:03:50,798 --> 00:03:51,968 PRETTY HONEST ABOUT SAM. 163 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,525 >> Kove: WELL, HE'S NOT HERE. 164 00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:54,904 AND THE BEST TIME TO BE HONEST 165 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,472 ABOUT SOMEONE IS BEHIND THEIR 166 00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:59,840 BACK. 167 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,810 >> Piper: INTERESTING. 168 00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:06,946 >> Sam: UGH, BICYCLES. 169 00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,277 THEY'RE LIKE UNICYCLES, EXCEPT 170 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:09,452 BEARS DON'T RIDE THEM. 171 00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:10,420 >> SAM! 172 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:11,588 WHAT'S UP, MY SPIRIT BROTHER? 173 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,745 READY TO SHOW THE WORLD THAT 174 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:13,953 BIKES ARE THE FUTURE BY RIDING 175 00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,364 10 MILES AN HOUR THROUGH MAJOR 176 00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:16,016 CITY STREETS? 177 00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:17,693 >> Sam: HEY, I'M LOOKING FOR A 178 00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:19,361 MAN -- HANDSOME, INTIMIDATING, 179 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:19,890 GOOD HAIR. 180 00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,503 >> [SCOFFS] HE LOOKS LIKE MY 181 00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:21,925 DAD. 182 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,429 OH, WE STILL ON FOR FLUTE CIRCLE 183 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:24,001 THIS WEEKEND? 184 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:25,397 IT'S LIKE A DRUM CIRCLE ONLY 185 00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:26,369 LESS CONFRONTATIONAL. 186 00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,067 >> Sam: GOD, NO. 187 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,067 I'M AN ALPHA MALE. 188 00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,538 >> [CHUCKLES] THAT'S FUNNY! 189 00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:30,567 THAT'S, UH... 190 00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:31,911 THAT'S THE FIRST TIME I'VE EVER 191 00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:33,305 HEARD YOU BE EVEN CLOSE TO 192 00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:33,637 FUNNY. 193 00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:34,481 NICE WORK, SAM! 194 00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:35,705 >> Sam: HEY, STAY IN THE BIKE 195 00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:36,009 LAME. 196 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,009 >> "LAME" OR "LANE"? 197 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,510 >> Sam: LOOKS LIKE YOU GUYS ARE 198 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:39,312 GEARING UP. 199 00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:40,313 >> THAT'S FUNNY. 200 00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:41,754 >> Sam: I HOPE YOU SCHWINN. 201 00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:43,319 >> THANK YOU. 202 00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:44,647 THAT'S A LOT OF PUNS. 203 00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:49,686 >> Alphonse: HEY, PIPER. 204 00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:50,860 I CAN'T COME TO YOUR GAME NIGHT. 205 00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:51,858 >> Piper: [ As Daisy ] IT'S 206 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:52,629 DAISY, NOT PIPER. 207 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:53,656 PIPER AND I SWITCHED FACES. 208 00:04:53,661 --> 00:04:54,701 >> Alphonse: THIS IS EXACTLY 209 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:55,655 WHAT MY MOTHER SAID WOULD 210 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:56,063 HAPPEN. 211 00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,503 THE DAY OF THE FACE-SNATCHERS IS 212 00:04:57,498 --> 00:04:57,828 UPON US. 213 00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:58,971 >> Piper: LISTEN, REAL QUICK 214 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:00,326 BEFORE I SWITCH FACES BACK WITH 215 00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:00,634 PIPER. 216 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,874 WHY DOESN'T ANYONE WANT TO GO TO 217 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:02,769 PIPER'S GAME NIGHTS? 218 00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:03,970 >> Alphonse: BOARD GAMES ARE TOO 219 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,411 COMPLICATED AND THE DICE ARE ALL 220 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:05,806 MESSED UP. 221 00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:06,866 SHE'S WAY TOO COMPETITIVE. 222 00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:09,014 >> Piper: SETTLERS OF CATAN IS 223 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,379 TOO COMPLICATED. 224 00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:12,849 [ Normal voice ] OKAY. 225 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:16,418 >> Trent: TRENT HAUSER'S HOUSE. 226 00:05:16,417 --> 00:05:17,817 IF YOU'RE GONNA BE LIKE TRENT, 227 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:18,888 YOU GOTTA TO LIVE LIKE TRENT. 228 00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:20,846 [ LAUGHTER ] 229 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,024 WHAT'S THAT? 230 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,893 >> I WAS LIKE "HOLY, GUACAMOLE!" 231 00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:28,063 >> BECAUSE AN ACTUAL PRIEST MADE 232 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:28,631 IT. 233 00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:30,629 [ LAUGHTER ] 234 00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:33,501 >> Trent: HEY, WHAT'S UP GUYS? 235 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,571 >> QUICK, DEB, HIDE THE KNIVES. 236 00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:36,569 >> YOU GOING TO TASER ME? 237 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:37,740 >> Trent: HEY, IT'S ME -- YOUR 238 00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:38,508 NEIGHBOR, TRENT. 239 00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:40,106 >> WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE. 240 00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:42,877 YOU TORTURED A MAN IN OUR GARAGE 241 00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,546 WHILE WE WERE IN BOCA. 242 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,475 >> YOU WATERBOARDED MY AUNT! 243 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,850 >> Trent: I DID THAT? 244 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,148 I'VE CHANGED. 245 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:50,379 LOOK... 246 00:05:50,384 --> 00:05:51,554 DO YOU GUYS SACK? 247 00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:53,492 >> NO! 248 00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,857 BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TRY. 249 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,556 >> Trent: YEAH, HERE. 250 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:59,058 >> YOU STILL SEEM LIKE A 251 00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,429 TERRIBLE PERSON. 252 00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:01,958 BUT I LOVE THE CONFIDENCE. 253 00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:02,902 >> Trent: AAH! 254 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,396 OHH! 255 00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:09,138 >> IS YOUR FACE OKAY? 256 00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:10,596 >> Trent: UM... 257 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:12,074 NOTHING THAT SOME BARBECUE 258 00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,072 COULDN'T FIX. 259 00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:15,043 [ CHEERS, LAUGHTER ] 260 00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:18,978 >> Sam: SO, THIS IS IT. 261 00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:21,049 THIS IS WHERE SAM'S ARTIST LOFT 262 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,818 IS. 263 00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,647 >> [ CLEARS THROAT ] 264 00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:27,793 HAND OVER THE WALLET, DANZIG JR. 265 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:28,918 >> Sam: I DON'T THINK YOU GUYS 266 00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:29,892 WANT TO DO THIS. 267 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:30,790 JUST WALK AWAY. 268 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,431 >> HOW ABOUT INSTEAD, WE JUST 269 00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:33,456 TAKE WHAT WE WANT? 270 00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:34,831 >> Sam: YOU'RE GONNA REGRET 271 00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,798 THIS. 272 00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:43,566 >> [ COUGHS ] 273 00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:44,711 DIDN'T KNOW THEY TAUGHT YOU 274 00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,135 SARAH LAWRENCE GIRLS TO FIGHT. 275 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:46,739 [ LAUGHS ] 276 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:47,980 >> I HOPE BREAKING MY ARM DIDN'T 277 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:48,905 MAKE YOU LATE FOR YOUR 278 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,139 MAGIC: THE GATHERING CONVENTION. 279 00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:51,713 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 280 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:52,712 >> Sam: I'M REALLY STARTING TO 281 00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:54,683 FEEL BAD FOR SAM. 282 00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,179 >> Piper: [ As Kove ] DAISY, 283 00:06:57,184 --> 00:06:58,024 DON'T BE ALARMED. 284 00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:58,818 >> OH. HI, PIPER! 285 00:06:58,819 --> 00:06:59,849 >> Piper: NO, IT'S KOVE. 286 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:00,923 PIPER AND I SWITCHED FACES 287 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,061 WHILE YOU WERE ON YOUR LUNCH 288 00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:02,555 BREAK. 289 00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:03,786 ANYWAY, NORMALLY, I KNOW PIPER'S 290 00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,061 GAME NIGHTS ARE SUCH A DRAG, BUT 291 00:07:05,058 --> 00:07:06,488 I JUST OVERHEARD HER SAYING THAT 292 00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:07,734 THIS GAME NIGHT, SHE'S GONNA DO 293 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:08,858 SOMETHING SUPER-EASY AND FUN, 294 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:09,832 LIKE APPLES TO APPLES. 295 00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:10,860 SO I'M DEFINITELY GOING. 296 00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:11,874 YOU'RE GOING TOO, RIGHT? 297 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:12,865 >> NO, IT WILL BE LAME. 298 00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,066 >> Piper: WHY WON'T YOU COME TO 299 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:14,797 MY GAME NIGHT? 300 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:15,872 >> OH, I'D COME TO ANY GAME 301 00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:16,999 NIGHT YOU HAVE, KOVE, BUT NOT 302 00:07:17,004 --> 00:07:18,214 PIPER'S -- NOT WITH ALL THE CAT 303 00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:19,565 HAIR ON HER FURNITURE AND THAT 304 00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,043 HUMMUS THAT'S WAY TOO LEMONY. 305 00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,781 >> Piper: PIPER WORKS VERY HARD 306 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:23,706 ON THAT HUMMUS. 307 00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:25,751 >> WHICH MAKES IT EVEN SADDER. 308 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,076 >> SO THEN I WAS LIKE, "OH, 309 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,580 WELL, YOU'RE TOO COOL FOR 310 00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:29,022 SCHOOL." 311 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:30,616 >> YEAH, THE A.C. WAS ON TOO 312 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,148 HIGH IN SCHOOL, HAD TO LEAVE AND 313 00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,022 GET A SWEATER. 314 00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:35,220 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 315 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:36,122 >> HEY, WEIRDO. 316 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,163 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 317 00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:38,827 >> Sam: WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE, 318 00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:40,156 NEIGHBOR LADY WHO GETS LAME 319 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:40,690 MAIL? 320 00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:41,964 GETTING MY HIDDEN GO-BAG. 321 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,702 TRENT HAUSER IS BACK. 322 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:44,897 >> TRENT HAUSER? 323 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,228 YOU ARE NOTHING LIKE 324 00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:47,503 TRENT HAUSER. 325 00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:49,641 HE IS A GREAT MAN WHO WE DIDN'T 326 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,707 UNDERSTAND UNTIL TODAY WHEN HE 327 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,035 TAUGHT US HOW TO HACKY SACK. 328 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:53,770 >> RIGHT. 329 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,144 >> Sam: UGH, SAM WAS HERE 330 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,912 MISREPRESENTING ME AS A LOSER. 331 00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,650 >> I'M GONNA CALL THE COPS. 332 00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,176 >> Sam: NO, YOU'RE NOT. 333 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,720 LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND WITH 334 00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:02,575 THOSE BURGERS. 335 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:03,083 >> AAH! 336 00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:04,993 >> AAH! 337 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,185 >> Sam: GET THE MESSAGE? 338 00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:06,786 >> YES! 339 00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:07,717 >> Sam: YOU SURE? 340 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:08,861 >> [ Whimpering ] YES. 341 00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:09,656 >> Sam: GOOD. 342 00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:13,587 WHAT'S THIS? 343 00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:15,534 I'D RECOGNIZE THIS BEAUTIFUL 344 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:16,599 SKIN ANYWHERE. 345 00:08:16,597 --> 00:08:18,567 STILL FRESH... 346 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:24,973 >> Piper: [ IMITATING A ROBOT ] 347 00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:26,542 [ As S.A.M. ] I AM NOT PIPER. 348 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:27,110 I AM S.A.M. 349 00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:28,777 PIPER AND I EXCHANGED FACES THIS 350 00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:30,206 MORNING BECAUSE OF -- OH, WELL 351 00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,780 LET'S SAY AFFIRMATIVE ACTION. 352 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:33,709 I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU GUYS. 353 00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:35,154 WHAT IF PIPER WERE TO NOT GET SO 354 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:36,718 WORKED UP ABOUT FOLLOWING ALL 355 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:37,847 THE RULES OF THE GAMES? 356 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,251 ALTHOUGH, I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU 357 00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:40,822 WOULD WANT TO PLAY THOSE GAMES 358 00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,561 IF YOU DIDN'T FOLLOW THE RULES. 359 00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:43,986 [ Voice breaking ] THEN WOULD 360 00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:46,661 YOU COME TO PIPER'S GAME NIGHT? 361 00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:53,970 >> Trent: OHH! OW! 362 00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:54,737 UGH. 363 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,295 >> Sam: I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN I'D 364 00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:58,113 FIND YOU HERE -- THE OLD PIGEON 365 00:08:58,105 --> 00:08:59,905 WAREHOUSE WHERE WE FIRST SWAPPED 366 00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:01,007 FACES. 367 00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:02,778 >> Trent: IF YOU WANT THIS FACE, 368 00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,306 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PRY IT OFF 369 00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:08,221 MY COLD, DEAD HEAD. 370 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,175 YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, SAM. 371 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:20,826 >> Sam: CAN'T GET A CLEAR SHOT. 372 00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:22,658 >> Trent: CAN'T SEE ANYTHING! 373 00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,933 DAMN BIRDS. 374 00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,902 >> Sam: SO MANY PIGEONS. 375 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:30,040 >> Trent: [ COUGHING ] 376 00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:31,037 >> Sam: YOU OKAY? 377 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,638 >> Trent: I'VE GOT A FEATHER IN 378 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,110 MY MOUTH. 379 00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:33,866 GROSS. 380 00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,614 >> Sam: DON'T RUN, SAM. 381 00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:38,079 IT'S OVER. FACE IT. 382 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,278 >> Trent: GOOD THING I GOT A 383 00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,049 FACE UP MY SLEEVE. 384 00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:43,048 >> Sam: HEY, THAT WAS A GOOD 385 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:43,680 ONE. 386 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:44,794 I'M PROUD OF YOU. 387 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:45,885 >> Trent: THANKS. 388 00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,246 >> Sam: NOT GOOD ENOUGH. 389 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,224 >> Trent: HOW ABOUT NOW? 390 00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:49,061 >> Sam: NOPE. 391 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:49,886 >> Trent: NOW? 392 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:50,720 >> Sam: STILL, NO. 393 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:51,364 >> Trent: NOW? 394 00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,988 >> Sam: NOT EVEN. 395 00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:55,861 >> SAM IS HEALING NICELY FROM 396 00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:57,003 THE FACE TRANSPLANT. 397 00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:58,127 >> Trent: IT'S GOOD TO HAVE YOU 398 00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:58,901 BACK, OLD FRIEND. 399 00:09:58,899 --> 00:09:59,799 >> Piper: HEY, TRENT. 400 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:00,830 NOW THAT YOU HAVE YOUR FACE 401 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:01,974 BACK, MAYBE TONIGHT YOU'LL COME 402 00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:02,869 OVER FOR A GAME NIGHT? 403 00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:03,940 >> Trent: HEH. "GAME NIGHT." 404 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,037 MORE LIKE "LAME NIGHT." 405 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,839 [ LAUGHTER ] 406 00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:10,742 >> Piper: YOU'RE ALL JERKS! 407 00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:11,784 [ LAUGHTER CONTINUES ] 408 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:14,349 >> HA HA, TRENT'S BACK. 409 00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,777 >> Alphonse: MAN, I'M GLAD ALL 410 00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:16,823 THAT WORKED OUT, TRENT. 411 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,087 YOU KNOW, I'M NOBODY WITHOUT MY 412 00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:18,385 FACE. 413 00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:19,745 >> Trent: ME, TOO, ALPHONSE. 414 00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,393 ME, TOO. 415 00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:22,788 YOU KNOW, THIS ONE'S GETTING A 416 00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:23,360 LITTLE TOO HOT. 417 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:24,726 >> Alphonse: IT'S GETTING TOO 418 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:24,985 HOT? 419 00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:25,832 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 420 00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:26,256 YOUR FACE? 421 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,359 HOW COULD YOUR FACE GET TOO 422 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:27,830 HOT? 423 00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:28,828 I MEAN, IT'S YOUR FACE. 424 00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,829 >> Trent: YOU SEE, EVERYONE'S 425 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,901 LOOKING AT TRENT'S FACE, BUT NO 426 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,900 ONE IS LOOKING AT YOURS. 427 00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,042 >> Alphonse: NO, SAM! 428 00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:36,936 IT'S STILL SAM! 429 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:37,937 MY BEAUTIFUL FACE! 430 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,238 [ MUFFLED SCREAMS ] 431 00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:40,369 >> Trent: GOOD NIGHT. 432 00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:44,406 >> WHO WAS THAT? 433 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,211 >> [ Crying ] OUR ANNIVERSARY! 434 00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,083 >> [ Crying ] WHY DIDN'T YOU DO 435 00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:48,921 SOMETHING?! 436 00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:51,216 >> I THOUGHT YOU WERE A MAN. 437 00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:52,688 >> I AM A MAN! 438 00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:54,086 >> I'M NOT SURE! 439 00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,887 >> I AM A MAN! 440 00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,419 I WANT A DIVORCE! 441 00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:59,964 GET THE [BLEEP] OUT OF HERE! 26997

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