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[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
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>> IN LESS THAN 10 MINUTES,
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MAYOR FRANCISCAS WILL START UP
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THE SAN DIEGO C.E.R.N. PARTICLE
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ACCELERATOR.
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THIS MACHINE PRE-SPEEDS UP
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ATOMIC PARTICLE BEFORE SHIPPING
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THEM OFF TO SWITZERLAND'S
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HADRON COLLIDER.
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AS YOU CAN SEE, OPINIONS ON THIS
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DEVICE ARE MIXED.
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>> OF COURSE WE SHOULD BE AFRAID
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OF THIS THING.
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WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S
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CAPABLE OF.
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I LOOKED SOME STUFF UP ON THE
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INTERNET, AND I DON'T REALLY
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KNOW MUCH ABOUT ANYTHING, BUT
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FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND, TH-THIS
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COULD CAUSE BLACK HOLES.
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IT COULD CAUSE RIFTS IN TIME AND
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SPACE.
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ANYTHING COULD GO WRONG.
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UH, FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND, THE
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NTSF, WHO'S SUPPOSED TO BE
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PROTECTING SAN DIEGO FROM
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TERRORISTS, IS UP THERE
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PROTECTING THIS FACILITY.
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I GOT NEWS FOR THEM.
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UH, THERE'S ONE TERRORIST THEY
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CANNOT PROTECT SCIENCE FROM,
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AND THAT'S THE ORIGINAL
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TERRORIST -- GOD.
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>> BACK TO YOU, EILEEN.
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>> Kove: WE'VE RECEIVED REPORTS
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OF A SECURITY BREACH IN THE
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MAINFRAME COMPUTER.
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WE SUSPECT IT'S A PRELUDE TO A
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TERRORIST ATTACK ON THE
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ACCELERATOR.
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FRESH EYES, PEOPLE --
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FRESH EYES!
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C.E.R.N. SPINS UP IN TWO
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MINUTES.
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>> INITIALIZING REACTOR
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PROTOCOL.
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>> Piper: SEE MY FIANCé ON TV?
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>> Alphonse: WHO, TUCKER?
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>> Piper: YEAH.
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HE'S PROTESTING AGAINST SCIENCE.
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>> Alphonse: OH, YEAH?
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>> Piper: I'M REALLY PROUD
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OF HIM.
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>> Trent: WHAT'S THIS?
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>> Kove: THAT'S THE NUCLEUS OF
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THE REACTOR.
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IT'S WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS.
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>> Trent: THEN THAT'S WHERE THE
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TERRORISTS ARE GONNA STRIKE, SO
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I'M GOING IN.
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>> Piper: TRENT, NO.
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YOUR CELLS WOULD BE TORN APART
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ON AN ATOMIC LEVEL.
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>> Kove: TRENT, THAT'S MADNESS.
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>> Trent: YOU GUYS CAN SIT
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AND TALK.
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I'M GOING IN. OUT OF MY WAY!
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>> Piper: TRENT, NO!
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>> 3...2...
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>> Trent: THIS WASN'T SUCH A
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GOOD IDEA.
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>> ...1.
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[ WARBLING ]
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>> Trent: AAH!
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WHAT THE?
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>> Alt Trent: WHAT THE?
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[ BOTH SCREAMING ]
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>> OH, MY GOD.
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THAT GUY'S NOT WEARING ANY
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PANTS.
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>> Trent: IT'S OKAY. I'M NTSF.
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>> NTSF? HE'S A TERRORIST!
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HE'S A NAKED TERRORIST!
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>> Trent: I'M NOT A TERRORIST.
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UH, I'M JUST -- WHAT IS THIS
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PLACE?
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OOH, BOY.
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>> DIEGO!
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>> * OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH
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* OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH
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>> DIEGO!
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[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
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[ EXPLOSION ]
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>> Alt Piper: TRENT, WHAT ARE
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YOU DOING?!
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[ EXPLOSION ]
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WE GOT TO GO!
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>> Trent: NO. NO!
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[ TIRES SCREECH ]
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>> Alt Alphonse: DID YOU GET THE
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PASS CODES?!
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>> Alt Piper: TRENT, DID YOU GET
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THE PASS CODES?
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>> Trent: WHAT PASS CODES?
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>> Alt Alphonse: BASE, THIS IS
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THE SAN DIEGO CHICKEN.
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WE'RE HEADING BACK TO THE ROOST.
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>> Alt Piper: GOOD THING I
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ALWAYS CARRY ANOTHER PAIR.
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>> Trent: WHERE'S OUR S.U.V.?
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>> YOU REALLY SCREWED THE POOCH
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TODAY, BUCKO.
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WE NEEDED THOSE SECURITY CODES,
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JERK.
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AND GUESS WHAT YOU DID -- YOU
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TOOK YOUR PANTS OFF.
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>> Alt Kove: MR. PRESIDENT, I
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ASSURE YOU --
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>> OH, SHUT IT.
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JUST SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH.
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OKAY, LISTEN -- COME HELL OR
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HIGH WATER, WE'RE BLOWING UP
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THAT SAN DIEGO PARTICLE
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ACCELERATOR.
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[ IMITATES EXPLOSION ]
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>> [ LAUGHING ]
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WHO'S THE BEST?
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CHICO, WHO's THE BEST?
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HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
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WHATEVER.
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>> Alt Kove: YOU REALLY BLEW IT
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TODAY, TRENT.
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>> Trent: SO, NTSF CAUSES
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TERRORISM?
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>> Alt Kove: THIS IS NO TIME FOR
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JOKES.
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DON'T SCREW UP AGAIN, TRENT.
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>> Alt Sam: WATCH YOURSELF,
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PUNK.
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GOT IT? GOT IT? HUH?
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HUH? DO YOU HEAR ME? HUH?
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>> Trent: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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>> Alt Sam: YEAH, YOU HEARD
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THAT.
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>> Trent: I'LL BE A HORSE'S ASS.
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THIS IS ONE DIFFERENT UNIVERSE.
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>> Trent: HEY, S.A.M.
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>> [ Cockney accent ] GOOD
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AFTERNOON, AGENT HAUSER.
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HOW MAY I HELP YOU BRING ABOUT
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REVOLUTION TODAY?
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>> Trent: I NEED TO ASK YOU A
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COUPLE OF QUESTIONS.
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>> OF COURSE.
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>> Trent: HYPOTHETICALLY, COULD
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YOU USE THE NUCLEAR CHAMBER AND
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A PARTICLE ACCELERATOR TO BE A
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PORTAL TO AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE?
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>> EVERYONE KNOWS THERE ARE AN
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INFINITE NUMBER OF PARALLEL
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UNIVERSES.
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WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THIS?
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WAIT -- YOU'RE AN
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INTERDIMENSIONAL IMPOSTER,
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AREN'T YA?
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SECURITY BRE...
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[ WARBLES ]
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[ BEEPS, WARBLES ]
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GOOD AFTERNOON, AGENT HAUSER.
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>> Trent: IF I WAS AN
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INTERDIMENSIONAL TRENT HAUSER
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IMPOSTER, COULD I USE THE
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SAN DIEGO C.E.R.N. TO TRAVEL
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BACK TO MY OWN UNIVERSE?
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>> YEAH, SURE, BUT WE'RE ABOUT
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TO BLOW IT UP.
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WAIT.
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>> Trent: MEMORY ERASE.
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>> [ WARBLES ]
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>> Alt Alphonse: HEY, UH, WHY'D
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YOU JUST ERASE SAM'S MEMORY?
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>> Trent: UH, SOMETIMES I USE
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SAM TO MASTURBATE ME.
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>> Alt Alphonse: Me too.
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>> Alt Kove: GENTLEMEN, BECAUSE
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OF TRENT'S SCREW-UP THIS
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MORNING, WE NO LONGER HAVE THE
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PASS CODES TO THE REACTOR.
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TRENT, I WANT YOU TO TAKE
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ALPHONSE AND KIDNAP THE LEAD
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C.E.R.N. SCIENTIST TOMORROW.
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DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE
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THAT AND STILL KEEP YOUR LITTLE
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PANTS ON?
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>> Trent: MY PANTS ARE --
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>> Alt Kove: DO NOT TALK BACK TO
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ME, MISTER.
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NOW LET'S GO.
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WE'VE GOT A LONG DAY AHEAD OF US
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TOMORROW.
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[ GUN COCKS ]
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>> Alt Alphonse: GO!
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>> Trent: ALL RIGHT, HERE WE
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ARE.
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I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
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>> Alt Kove: [ LAUGHS ]
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OH, YOU.
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JUST BECAUSE WE ARGUE AT WORK
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DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE NOT MAN AND
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WIFE.
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I LOVE YOU.
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[ SMOOCHES ]
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>> Trent: I LOVE YOU, TOO.
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>> Alt Kove: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.
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>> Trent: [ CHUCKLES ]
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WHAT IS THIS?
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>> Alt Kove: YOUR FAVORITE.
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IT'S A DECO DISK ENGRAVED WITH
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ALL OUR SECRET MEMORIES.
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IT TOOK ME SIX YEARS TO MAKE IT.
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>> Trent: THANK YOU.
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UM, I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU, AS
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WELL.
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UH...
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>> Alt Kove: [ GASPS ]
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>> Trent: OH.
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>> Alt Kove: WHAT IS THIS?
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SOME KIND OF NOVELTY JOKE MONEY?
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WHOSE PICTURE IS THIS?
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WHERE'S RONALD REAGAN?
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>> Trent: THIS IS --
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>> Alt Kove: YOU FORGOT OUR
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ANNIVERSARY.
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YOU'RE IN THE DOG HOUSE NOW,
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MISTER.
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[ CAR DOOR SLAMS ]
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>> Trent: I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF
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THIS PLACE.
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>> Alt Alphonse: NOW, KEEP YOUR
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EYES OPEN FOR THEIR CHIEF
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SCIENTIST, THE HEAD OF THE
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PARTICLE ACCELERATOR.
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>> Trent: WAIT A SECOND.
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THIS IS PIPER'S FIANCé, TUCKER.
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>> Alt Alphonse: PIPER'S FIANCé,
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TUCKER?
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PIPER DOESN'T GO FOR DUDES!
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>> Trent: LOOK. THERE HE IS.
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>> Alt Alphonse: LOOK?
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YOU KNOW I'M BLIND.
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>> Trent: BUT YOU DROVE HERE.
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>> Alt Alphonse: NOW!
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[ GUN COCKS ]
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>> WHO ARE YOU RUFFIANS?!
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WHERE AM I GOING?!
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WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?!
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HELP ME!
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>> Alt Piper: WE WANT THE PASS
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CODES TO THE PARTICLE
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ACCELERATOR.
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>> Alt Sam: WE CAN DO THIS THE
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EASY WAY OR THE HARD WAY.
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>> DO...YOUR...WORST.
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00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:01,894
[ SCREAMING ]
265
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:03,089
>> Trent: WHAT ARE THEY DOING?
266
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,120
>> Alt Kove: TORTURING.
267
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:04,994
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
268
00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:06,892
>> Alt Piper: YOU ASKED FOR IT!
269
00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:08,604
>> Trent: THIS REALITY'S A
270
00:07:08,596 --> 00:07:09,056
PUSSY.
271
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:10,602
>> [ SCREAMING CONTINUES ]
272
00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:12,128
>> Alt Kove: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
273
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,772
THAT POWERS THE MINI FRIDGE.
274
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,497
WHAT POSSIBLE OTHER USE COULD IT
275
00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:15,843
HAVE?
276
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,196
>> Trent: MAYBE RECHARGING HIS
277
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:17,814
MEMORY?
278
00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:19,105
>> I'LL NEVER GIVE YOU THOSE
279
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:19,836
PASS CODES.
280
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:20,770
>> Trent: REALLY?
281
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:21,244
>> NEVER!
282
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:22,611
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]
283
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:23,140
[ SCREAMS ]
284
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:24,783
543291.
285
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:27,618
543291!
286
00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:28,645
>> Trent: ANYTHING ELSE YOU
287
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:29,119
WANT TO KNOW?
288
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:30,246
>> Alt Kove: I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
289
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:30,950
HAD IT IN YOU.
290
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,021
I'M BEGINNING TO SEE YOU IN A
291
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:32,789
WHOLE NEW LIGHT.
292
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,716
>> Alt Piper: WHAT'S MY
293
00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:34,861
HIGH-SCHOOL LOCKER COMBINATION?
294
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:38,755
>> [ SCREAMING ]
295
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,729
>> BATTING NEXT, MICHAEL EARLE.
296
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:44,596
>> Alt Jessie: EVERYBODY...
297
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:46,528
EVERYBODY, I'M GETTING MARRIED.
298
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:47,904
>> Trent: YOU? TO WHO?
299
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,641
>> Alt Jessie: ONLY TO THE
300
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,097
COOLEST GUY IN SAN DIEGO.
301
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:52,874
>> Trent: BUT YOU'RE NERDS.
302
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:54,113
>> Alt Sam: MM-HMM.
303
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:55,507
SHE FINALLY MADE AN HONEST
304
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:56,509
TERRORIST OUT OF ME.
305
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:57,650
>> Alt Jessie: [ LAUGHS ]
306
00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:58,775
I FIGURED AFTER YEARS OF
307
00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:00,149
MEANINGLESS, MINDBLOWING SEX, IT
308
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:01,277
WAS TIME TO SETTLE DOWN.
309
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:04,281
>> Alt Sam: MM-HMM.
310
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:05,854
>> Alt Kove: THESE SCIENTIST
311
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:07,563
ROBES WE STOLE WILL GET YOU INTO
312
00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:07,985
C.E.R.N.
313
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,518
ONCE INSIDE, YOU'LL USE THE
314
00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:10,763
PASS CODES TO DISABLE THE
315
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:11,688
SECURITY SYSTEM.
316
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:12,992
THEN WE'LL PLANT EXPLOSIVE
317
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,933
DEVICES, AND IT'LL BE
318
00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:17,498
ARRIVEDERCI, SCIENCE.
319
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:30,843
>> Alt Alphonse: LET'S GO!
320
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,014
>> Alt Piper: LET'S GO, LET'S
321
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:32,752
GO, LET'S GO!
322
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:33,806
>> Alt Alphonse: COME ON!
323
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:34,954
>> Alt Piper: MOVE, PEOPLE!
324
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:35,278
GO. GO.
325
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:36,582
>> Alt Alphonse: LET'S GO!
326
00:08:36,584 --> 00:08:38,554
[ BOMB BEEPS ]
327
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:39,592
>> Alt Alphonse: WE'VE GOT TO
328
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:40,117
GET OUT OF HERE!
329
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,190
>> Alt Piper: TRENT, LET'S GO.
330
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,158
>> Trent: BE RIGHT THERE.
331
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:43,215
>> Alt Piper: COME ON, PEOPLE,
332
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:43,763
MOVE!
333
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:46,157
[ BOMB BEEPING ]
334
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:49,929
[ BEEPING INTENSIFIES ]
335
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:52,970
>> Alt Kove: STOP RIGHT THERE.
336
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,636
YOU LOOK LIKE THE TRENT I LOVE,
337
00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:55,695
BUT YOU'RE NOT HIM.
338
00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:57,203
>> Trent: IF YOU WANT YOUR TRENT
339
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,874
BACK, THEN YOU'VE GOT TO LET ME
340
00:08:58,872 --> 00:08:59,142
GO.
341
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:00,709
>> Alt Kove: THAT'S JUST IT.
342
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,078
I THINK I LIKE THE NEW TRENT
343
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:02,705
BETTER.
344
00:09:02,710 --> 00:09:04,610
>> Trent: IF I STAY WITH YOU,
345
00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:06,112
I'LL BE TRAPPED FOREVER.
346
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:08,083
AND I WAGER YOU WON'T PULL THAT
347
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:08,881
TRIGGER.
348
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,782
>> Alt Kove: YOU'RE RIGHT, AS
349
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:11,324
ALWAYS.
350
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:13,088
>> Trent: YEAH. OBVIOUSLY.
351
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:16,956
UH, LATER.
352
00:09:16,957 --> 00:09:18,157
YOU!
353
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:20,728
>> Alt Trent: YOU!
354
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,042
AAAAH!
355
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,338
>> Alt Kove: GODSPEED, YOU
356
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:38,309
HANDSOME SON OF A BITCH.
357
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,951
>> Trent: HERE WE GO AGAIN!
358
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:47,957
[ SCREAMING ]
359
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:49,715
[ LAUGHS ]
360
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:50,993
MY PANTS.
361
00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:53,061
I'M HOME.
362
00:09:56,664 --> 00:09:59,034
[ LAUGHS ]
363
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:09,208
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
364
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:09,809
OH, MY GOD.
365
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:10,410
WHAT IS THIS PLACE?
366
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:11,410
>> Alt Alphonse #2: WHAT THE
367
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:12,411
HELL HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?
368
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:13,682
>> Alt Jessie #2: WHERE'S YOUR
369
00:10:13,681 --> 00:10:14,051
MUSTACHE?
370
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:14,917
>> Alt Piper #2: HE HAS
371
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:15,345
NO MUSTACHE.
372
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:16,818
>> Alt Sam #2: HE'S A SHAVEN.
373
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:17,687
>> Trent: NO! NO!
374
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:18,685
>> All: CLEAN-SHAVEN!
375
00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:21,416
CLEAN-SHAVEN! CLEAN-SHAVEN!
376
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:24,791
>> Trent: GOD HELP ME! NOOOO!
377
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:25,792
I DON'T WANT TO...
378
00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:29,163
[ SCREAMS ]
23135
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