All language subtitles for men.at.work.1990.1080p.bluray.x264-psychd

[ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

I can't support
this activity any longer, Max.

Relax, Jack.

Only two more days and we move
our whole disposal operation north,

out of your jurisdiction.

You promised me those barrels
would be leak proof for 150 years.

Yeah, well.

A slight miscalculation.
Look, it's this simple.

I have an obligation
to produce paint thinner.

You have an obligation
to provide

a place to dispose of the
waste products.

I'm not afraid of you
anymore, Potterdam.

If I have to expose the
whole operation, I will.

I'll bring us all down.

I think you're smarter
than that, Jack.

You can't pay me enough, Max.

You can kiss your chances
of getting elected

mayor goodbye,
Mr. City Councilman.

It's bigger than
an election, Max.

[CAR STARTING]

BOSS?

There's a time and a place
for everything, gentlemen.

You have an
obligation to provide

a place for me to dispose of
the waste products.

I got you.

Good morning.

You're listening to the Poorman
on the world-famous KROQ.

And you still have time
to call in on open-line,

where at 5am, let's face it,

we can talk about
absolutely anything.

It's live, it's uncensored,
and I'm not even using the tape delay

because this is prime time radio.

The 2 to 6 am show
where management sleeps.

I gotta go to work.

[RADIO CONTINUES IN BACKGROUND]

Could you leave your board?
I may go out later.

My surfboard?

Yeah.
You promised me last night.

Yeah, you can use it.

No tape delay.
Here we are on open-line.

Good morning. You're on the air.

- Hi, Poorman.
- Hi. Where are you calling from?

- South Bay.
- Well what can I do for you?

Well, you see,
my boyfriend just left me

and I'm really bummed
cos I loved him a lot, you know.

Well, why did your
boyfriend leave you?

He found me and his best friend
in bed together.

Well, what do you
expect him to do

if he found you in bed
with his best friend?

I don't know.
He could have maybe been

more understanding, you know.

Well, you got a problem that
you're gonna have to work out.

- Yeah?
- But not on my show.

[DIAL TONE]
[LAUGHTER]

[GUNSHOT]

I hate politicians.

[PHONE RINGING]

Yeah.

Are we coming to work today,
Mr. Taylor, or what?

Yeah, Walt, I'm flyin' out
the door right now.

Let's see if my favorite
little stewardess is up yet.

Lookin' good.

Oops.

Busted.

Fly those friendly skies.

Now that is the
perfect relationship.

Wait a minute.
Hello.

What are you looking at, pal?

Good morning.

Time for that morning
cup of hot java.

Coffee for one.
Three scoops, please.

Nice selection of wines.

Good California Chardonnay,
a bottle of Dom.

No market brands in this house.

Only the best.

Now for some sliced papaya,
if it's in season.

Shit! Mango.
I should have known.

I wish I knew your name.

Carl.

I thought you were
gonna be a no-show.

Almost.

Thanks.

[HORN HONKING]

Frost and Luzinski?

Yeah.

Hey, I don't know
about you shitheads,

but we're on a time clock.

Let's move!

Gina walked out on
me last night.

- Really?
- Yeah. Moved all her stuff out.

Face it, you've been
trying to bale out

of that relationship
for a long time.

Yeah, I just didn't expect it
to be so sudden.

[HORN HONKING]
[CRASH]

Paybacks are a bitch, James!

- You seen my gloves, amigo?
- In the glove compartimente.

Who, hey hey hey!

- Hey, mister!
- Shut up, you dickhead.

Yes, I'm still here.
Now, about those mailers.

First off, you guys did
the colors wrong,

but I let that pass because
I'm a nice person.

And now you're telling me,

with the election one week
around the corner,

that the mailers
are gonna go out late?

Well we're a little backed up-

If you don't get those mailers
out by tomorrow afternoon,

I'm pulling the account.

- You're gonna pull the account?
- Uh-huh.

- Umm...
- Bye-bye.

Jerk.

I gotta hide this.

I've got a ton of things
need your signature, Jack.

Can it wait?

No, and I also have a
cassette of a band

that we might want to use
for the fundraiser.

I figured since we're
short on time,

you could give it a
quick listen and decide.

I really don't have time for that.

If you like 'em, use 'em.
You know I trust your judgment.

That's why I hired you
as a campaign manager.

You gotta trust your staff.

- Are you OK?
- Yeah.

Listen...

- You're doing a hell of a job.
- Thank you, Jack.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

- I didn't sleep for shit last night.
- Why not?

Gina.

Gina, Gina. Gina!

Let her go, man.

Let her go.

I have, I have.
She is historical.

She said she couldn't
see herself

with a garbageman
for the rest of her life.

Didn't you tell her you weren't
gonna be a garbageman

for the rest of your life?

Didn't you tell her about
our surf shop?

I told her.

I think she was getting
pressure from her family.

- Her father never liked you.
- Yeah, what does he know?

- Well, life's a bitch, right?
- Ain't that the truth!

I tell you, Carl, this is
the last year we throw trash.

- You said that last year.
- Yeah, but this year I mean it.

You meant it last year.

- Hey, Carl, is this yours?
- No, it ain't my color.

It's a bra, James.

Look at this smut.

[BICYCLE JINGLE]

Well, if it isn't the
South Bay's finest.

What happened, Mike?

Did they take away
your vroom-vrooms?

You see,
this is the kind of scum

you're gonna have to
get used to around here.

Jeff's new to the force,
so I'm giving him the tour.

He's also my new partner.

So you're gonna be seeing
a whole lot more of him.

Wonderful.

Yeah, you're gonna
like it here, Jeff.

The air's clean,
the women are beautiful

and the shifts are short.

You know, most of the
folks here in Las Playas

are hard-working,
with a future in mind...

with the exception of
these two clowns.

They're part of the
"Don't let this happen to you" crowd.

[CHUCKLES]

A word of warning,
my garbage-toting friends,

from your friendly
neighborhood peace officer.

I've got my eye on you both.

If you're not breaking
the law now,

the smart money says
that it's only a

matter of time before you will.

And you can bet
that last dollar that

my ass is gonna be
there to make the bust.

- Golf clap?
- Golf clap.

[CLAPPING]

[BICYCLE JINGLING]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

"Dear John. I'm sorry
things didn't work out for us."

"You're a sweet man,
and I'll always love you."

Ah!

You know, this is the kind of
shit that really breaks me up.

- It's an epidemic, I tell ya.
- What is?

Just women, relationships,
all of it.

I never have a problem with it.

- Hi, James.
- Morning, baby.

- That's cos you've got no heart.
- What?

You've got no heart.

Who was the last girl you
were serious about?

Betsy Sabetta.

Betsy Sabetta?

That was in the ninth grade
and she had a harelip.

- She did not.
- She did too.

- She did not!
- Did too, did too.

- What do you know about her, anyway?
- I know she had a harelip.

What an absolutely gorgeous day.

Warm sun, beautiful women.

And the air is
just right for drinking.

Would you just look at all the activity
that's going on down here, Carl.

It's close, man. I can see it.

Right here, right on the strand.

Carl and James' Surf Shop.

It's gold. It's gold, James.
It's a gold mine.

Just think of the
garbage business

as a way station on
the road to Nirvana.

Well maybe now you're a
single man again,

you'll be able to put more
time and energy into it.

Whoa. Wait a minute,
wait a minute.

Hold on, wait a minute,
just a second.

I have put a lot of energy into
getting our surf shop together.

And we'd be a lot further along

if I didn't have to do
the work for two.

Pardon me?

Let's not forget that
it was me who chose

the bank that we
went to to get our loan.

Let's not forget that we
didn't even get the loan.

I mean it's not like
you researched it, James.

You picked the name
out of the Yellow Pages.

What exactly are...

Good God!

What exactly are you
trying to say here, Carl?

What I'm trying to say, James,

is that sometimes you
are completely hopeless.

- Really?
- Yes.

- Hey, Carl.
- Yeah.

What exactly did
you mean by hopeless?

I meant exactly what I said.

I still don't understand.

Well, let's examine the word.

"“Hopeless." Less than hopeful.
That's what you are.

But am I majorly hopeless
or partially hopeless?

I would say majorly.

Why do you ask?

- I'll try to change.
- No, you won't.

I need to talk to you, Leo.

Jack, nice to see you.

I need your help
on something, Leo.

I know who's responsible for the

toxic dumping off Las Playas,

and I'm kind of involved.

Jesus, Jack.

I just never thought
it would go this far.

Look, it's all on the tape.
Listen to this.

[PARTY MUSIC]

What is this?
Some kind of a joke?

This is not the right tape.

She took the wrong tape!

- What are you talking about?
- The wrong tape!

Hey, wait a minute.

Come on. Let's do the nasty.

- Do we have to?
- Yeah, afraid so.

- Nasty!
- Nasty!

- Nasty!
- Nasty!

Yeah, Dalton here.

Listen, Jack Berger was
in here earlier today.

Claimed he knew
who was responsible

for those Las Playas
offshore dumpings.

Claimed he had some kind
of a tape that could prove it.

I don't know. This might be nothing,
but I thought you should know.

You did the
right thing, Captain.

I'm sure it's nothing,
but I appreciate the call.

- Any time.
- Thank you.

A tape.

A goddamn tape.

Shrewd move, Berger.

Hey, boys!
Where's your originality, huh?

[SCREAMING]

This means war, man.

Hey, this is shit. It's shit!

Get it off me, Frost!
Get it off!

It's shit! It's shit!

It's payback time,
you little shits!

Gentlemen, inside now.

- What's up, Walt?
- Nothing too serious today.

I got a complaint about banging

trash cans on P Street
at 6 am this morning.

You boys know
anything about this?

No, sir.

Which one of you
rolled the bowling ball

down the alley into Avenue H?

Can't help you there either, Walt.

In the two years you
have worked here,

you have broken
every city ordinance

that pertains to this
line of work.

Well, you can't say
we haven't been a lot of laughs.

[LAUGHTER]

I'm glad you have a
sense of humor, Mr. St James.

Unfortunately, the
majority of the people

in this community do not.

Now me, personally,
I like you boys.

Which is why
I'm giving you another chance.

Starting tomorrow, you boys
will be riding with a third party.

What?

I have decided to send an observer
along with you on your route.

A representative of Shoreline.

- Who's the observer?
- My brother-in-law.

Consider yourselves
on probation.

I suggest you be
on your best behavior.

[LAUGHING]

[TOILET FLUSHING]

The nerve of Walt,

sending us on our route
with a goddamn baby-sitter.

Don't worry about it.

What does a... phrenologist
feel and interpret?

The size of Walt's asshole.

Wrong.

No, a phrenologist
feels and interprets

the bumps on your head,
skull features.

Very good.

Who was Richard Nixon's
Chief of Staff

during the final days
of Watergate?

Oprah Winfrey.

No, that was... Alexander Haig.

That's right.

What does gasoline...

[DISTANT SHOUTING]

Jack! Jack!

The tape!
What did you do with the tape?

Jesus Christ!

What are you doing?

I hate shitheads who
bully their women.

- So what are you gonna do?
- Shoot him.

- What?
- It's the principle, James.

With a pellet gun?

What are you gonna accomplish
using that stupid thing?

It allows me to seriously
aggravate a situation

without actually changing
the course of history.

It also stings like a bitch.

Well, I'm glad that's over.

Carl, what are you doing?
Everything's cool now.

Mister, it's nothing personal.

[GUNSHOT]

- Where do you think you got him?
- Butt shot.

He'll never lay a
hand on her again.

[LAUGHING]

You know what, asshole, I wouldn't
have voted for you anyway.

- Stop it! Stop it!
- What?

Shoot him in the head,
his head's all over the place.

Oh, genius.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Touchdown! The tape!
Touchdown!

Genius.

Man, this guy's really heavy.
I gotta start working out.

- You should go to the gym.
- I hate weights.

- You work on your cardiovascular.
- What's that?

You know, get yourself on
one of those life cycles.

What's that?

- Stationary bike.
- Yeah? How are they?

They're great. They got...

cross-country skiing machines,
things where you row.

Come on, get him in there.
I wanna go eat.

Come on, come on, come on.

I got it. Start the car.

Right, Jack, I have the tape.
I really hate...

Jack?

Jack?

[ROCK MUSIC]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[ROCK MUSIC]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Touch that again and I kill you.
I swear to God I'll kill you.

What'd I do?

Why don't you
go a little bit faster,

see if you can put me
through the windshield.

[ALARM]

[GLASS BREAKS]
[CAT MEOWS]

Where the hell am I?

Time for work. Boy, oh boy.

James, do us both a favor.

Whatever you do,

don't give this observer guy
a hard time today.

I figure if we behave ourselves,

show him that
we're a couple of good guys,

we'll get him out of
our hair a lot quicker.

OK.

For all we know...

he could be some crazed
combat veteran.

[MARCHING MUSIC]

You're driving too fast.

So, Louis, you're Walt's
brother-in-law.

That's great.
Speaks highly of you.

What do you know about anything?

Walt's a nice guy.

His sister must be nice too.
I've never met her, though.

When I feel like talking to you,
I will look at you.

Gotcha.

You writing stuff about us?
Sorry. Sorry.

This sucks.

What did you say, son?

The name is James.

Well, James,
if you expect to keep this job,

I suggest you tell me what it was
you were mumbling over there.

James.

I said this sucks.

And, basically, so do you.

[LAUGHING]

You little... I'll show you
not to talk to me like that!

Hey, hey! Goddammit!

This Louis guy's a
total nightmare.

He's not playin' around,
let me tell you, James.

Yeah, I feel really
bad about that, Carl.

Probably not as bad as I do.

- James, promise me something.
- What?

No matter what you do,
do not provoke this guy.

- Promise.
- I'm serious.

I promise.

- How's that nose?
- It's OK.

I still owe one to the
intended receiver.

You know, man,
you're a total pain in the a-

Now, James, Louis is gonna be with us
for the next couple of weeks.

Accept this as fact.

Now why don't you guys shake hands
and stop behaving like children?

- Put it on the back of your neck.
- Thanks.

There are several
sacred things in this world

that you don't ever mess with.

One of them happens to be
another man's fries.

Now, you remember that,

and you will live a long
and healthy life.

James.

- James.
- What?

I think you'd better get over
here and take a look at this.

What is it, Carl?

Just take a look.

What the hell is this, Carl?

It's a dead human being, James.

Yeah? What's he doin'
on our route?

Oh, looky here.

Looks like somebody threw
away a perfectly good white boy.

And he sure looks
a hell of a lot like that dude.

We're screwed.

What do you mean "we"?
You pulled the trigger, pal.

Look, Louis, we gotta talk.

You see, Louis,
Carl sort of knows this guy.

- So?
- I don't know him at all.

What I'm trying to say
is he shot him.

With a pellet gun!

- But he thought he hit him in the butt.
- I did hit him in the butt.

You two seem to be
in some serious shit here.

I need a drink.

Look, Louis, I know
that I did not kill this man.

You see, last night this guy here
was beatin' on his old lady,

so I took upon myself
to end the dispute.

- So you shot him?
- With a pellet gun.

So you said.

- And you shot him from where?
- From my apartment.

So how in the hell
did he end up here?

Why don't you ask him?

Have some.
It'll settle your nerves.

My nerves don't need settling!

What is the maximum sentence
for murder?

I did not murder anyone!

Jesus Christ, James,
whose side are you on?

I am not taking sides.

Yes you are,
you've already convicted me.

As far as you're concerned,
I'm on my way to death row.

Now Carl, come on.

Let me tell you something, pal,
you are in it as much as I am.

You were there.
That makes you an accomplice.

Look, you little bastard, I never
wanted you to do it in the first place.

I was totally against it.

Try explaining that
to the judge.

I am not gonna have to explain
anything to any judge.

- This is your ball game, Carl.
- You are an asshole!

- And you are a trigger-happy idiot!
- I'm not gonna rot in prison alone.

You're not gonna mess up my life,
you son of a bitch!

Hey!

You and your stupid pellet gun!

- Get off of me!
- I'll kill you!

You're a stupid man!
You're a stupid little man!

I said enough!
I said cut it out!

Hey, you! I said knock it off!

Now look, unless one of you two guys
took a piece of rope or a piece of wire

and strangled this guy,
I'd say you're both in the clear.

How the hell do you know?

You can tell by the
marks on his neck.

Look at that.

Pretty sloppy job, too.

Not a great idea to keep him
out in the open like this.

[Elm

I don't like this, Carl.
I don't like this one bit.

- I'm goin' to the cops.
- What?

Looks like they're comin' to us.

I hate cops.

Well, well. Another fine day
in the dumps, eh, fellas?

[BICYCLE JINGLE]

Who are your friends?

I've never seen you
around here before.

Louis here works for
the company.

He'll be ridin' with us
for the next

couple of weeks to police
our activities, so to speak.

- Is that right?
- Yes, sir, Officer, sir.

- What about you?
- He's...

I didn't ask you, garbageman.

I'm asking the punk who looks
like he's had a few too many.

What the hell's the
matter with him?

He looks friggin' dead.

Well, the boy's had a
rough night.

He's, you know, a,
you know, a...

a cousin of James.

He flew in from, uh...

Texas.

We were out late showin'
him a good time.

Well wherever the
hell he's from,

he shouldn't be out on
the street in his condition.

I could haul you in, you know.

But for now I'm just
gonna give you a warning.

- That's very kind of you, Officer.
- Yeah, it is.

Now get him inside the
cab of that truck

and make sure he stays
there until he sobers up.

- Do I make myself clear?
- Crystal, sir. Let's go.

Not so fast.

I've got the whole Las Playas police
department clued into you two bozos.

You may have escaped
me this time,

and all I can say is
"Relish this moment, gentlemen."

This is wrong.
This is just wrong, wrong, wrong!

We should have just told them.

Told them what?

That we found a
body in the trash

that just happened to
be Jack Berger,

the same man that I shot
with a pellet gun?

Are you nuts?

Those guys are lookin' for
any excuse to put us away.

Let's get outta here.
We'll stash the body,

we'll get back to work and
we'll figure this out later.

[TRUCK STARTS]

Son of a bitch!

I can't believe this.
We lost the body.

Hey, relax.
We didn't lose the body.

It's here somewhere,
it's in a big yellow can.

How can we miss it?

What the hell do you mean,
you've lost the body?

It just kind of fell out
of the back of the car.

Oh, well.

Find it! Find it, find it,
find it, find it!

Yes, sir.

Your very lives
depend upon it, gentlemen.

- What the hell are you waiting for?
- Sir, we did find the tape.

Oh.

Thank God.

You're excused.

[PARTY MUSIC]

- Wait a minute. The girl.
- What girl?

- The girl we saw Berger fighting with.
- What about her?

Well, maybe she had
something to do with his death.

Yeah, so she strangles him,
stuffs him in a barrel

and dumps him on the esplanade?

It makes a lot of sense, Carl.

You know...

That stiff's startin' to
get a little gamy.

You guys come up with anything?

Carl seems to think that
Berger's girl is somehow involved.

Louis, the last time
that we saw Berger alive

was during that fight across
from my apartment, right?

- It's not enough to go on, Carl.
- Well it's a place to start, James.

How about starting by
going to the police?

Something we should have
clone in the first place.

Yo! Carl's right.
It's a place to start.

We're not gonna accomplish
a goddamn thing

standing around here.

So you guys are either
with me or you're not.

I thought you knew
how to rig that thing?

I followed the instructions.

You guys have anything good
to eat in this place?

- I could order us a pizza.
- Sounds great.

Pepperoni, extra cheese.

Maybe we should put old Milhous
someplace a little less visible.

What do you say?

I need a large pepperoni,
extra cheese,

to 828 Esplanade, apartment 405.

Last name, Taylor.

Yeah.

OK, what's the total on that?

Hey, Carl.

Hello.

She hardly looks like
a cold-blooded killer.

What now, hotshot?

How about goin' over
there and tellin' her

that we got her boyfriend's
dead body sittin' in our shitter?

[CHUCKLES]

What are we gonna do?

Stand here watching
her like a bunch

of long-distance
Peeping Toms?

No.

- I'm goin' over there.
- What?

- I'm goin' over there.
- What for?

I don't know. Snoop around,
see what I can come up with.

Carl, this is not some game.

What if you're wrong?

What if she didn't have
anything to do with this?

Gee, James, you sound as if
you're really worried about me.

You sure you know what you're doing?

Come on, guys.
I'm not gonna get in over my head.

Well, that depends on
which head you're talkin' about.

Look, we got your back.

If anything funny happens,
don't be too shy to scream.

OK. Save me a slice.

Do you know where
he keeps that gun of his?

What is he doing?

What am I doing?

Uh-oh.

[SCREAMING]

- Don't kill me!
- What?

What? I'm sorry.

- Are you OK?
- I'm fine. I've never been better.

- Do you live here in the-
- I'm sorry if I-

You first.

- Do you live here in the building?
- Yes, I do live here in the building.

For five years I've been
in the building.

That's funny.
I've never seen you here before.

Well, I lead a very...
private life.

I'm a... a... phrenologist.

What exactly does a
phrenologist do?

Well, I feel and interpret
the size of Walt's asshole.

I mean, skull features.

Wow.

Not to impose, but if we can go
inside and put some ice on this ankle,

that'd be great.

- Inside where?
- Your apartment.

What's the matter with yours?

No, my ice machine is broken,
and yours is right here.

Are you gonna refuse a wounded man
in dire need of medical attention?

- No.
- Thanks.

- But I didn't catch your name.
- I'm Ted Blanston, the third.

Susan Wilkins, the first.

He's inside.
He's inside her apartment.

Out that light.

What the hell's Carl doing?

I don't like this, man.
I do not like this.

Shh.

Asshole!

The hell with this.
I'm callin' the police.

No cops. I hate cops.

I'm sorry, which ankle was it?

It's the swollen one.

- I really appreciate this.
- It's no trouble.

Are you friendly with
the Cottlers?

- I think...
- Second floor?

- Ron and Ann?
- Oh, sure.

Well, I figured,
since you're both doctors.

Right. We're all doctors.

Where exactly do you practice?

I got a small office down
in the medical district and...

You know, I could really
use a drink.

- Just one.
- Me too.

Thanks.

- Sorry.
- I could have brought it to you.

Thank you.

It's for the pain.

I rarely touch the stuff.
Can I have another one?

I don't believe this.

They're doin' shots,
for Christ's sake.

I can't believe I've never
met you before.

I thought I knew just about
everyone who lived in this building.

Well, as I said,
I lead a very private life.

Very private life. Yeah.

You know, you're a very
beautiful woman.

No, I mean that.
I've always thought so.

What do you mean, always?

What I meant was that
you've probably always been beautiful

and it's a shame that
I'm just now discovering this.

Oh.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
embarrass you.

Well, you did.
You wanna switch to champagne?

Sure, if the Dom Perignon is chilled,
that'd be perfect.

How did you know I had Dom?

How did I know you had Dom?

Doesn't everybody?

- Where are you going?
- I'm going to the bathroom, Louis.

Jesus! Carl spends the evening
with a beautiful woman

and I'm stuck here
with a lunatic and a corpse.

I don't believe this guy.

[HUMMING]

I can't do this with
you starin' at me.

- Who is it?
- Pedro's Pizza and Pancakes.

Yeah!

OK.

- Large pepperoni, extra cheese.
- Yes indeed, that's us.

- How much?
- Eight bucks.

- How much?
- Eight bucks.

OK. One, two,

three, four...

- What's going on here?
- Mind your own business, son.

OK. Thank you, sir.

You've seen too much.

[YELLING]

Louis, what the hell
are you doing?

He saw you with the body.

He could start all kinds
of trouble.

So you kidnap him?
Good solution!

Here, take the money.
I won't say anything to anybody!

You bet you won't!

What the hell?

Extra cheese?

[THUD]

- You're a madman.
- He was provoking me.

This situation has definitely
gotten way out of hand.

Get back to that window
and keep Carl covered.

Well what the hell do
we do with him?

We need some rope.

[PHONE RINGING]

Are you gonna get this or what?

- Hello?
- First, you lose the body,

and then you deliver
me the wrong tape.

Now, I don't think that
either of you personally

set out to destroy my company.

But I sent you out
on a simple task.

And, simply put,
you loused it up.

Now, apparently,

Berger had a special relationship
with his campaign manager,

a Susan Wilkins, 825 Esplanade.

That's where
we iced Berger, chief.

I know where that is.

Well...

Did it ever occur to you two idiots
that she might have the cassette?

I think he wants us
to kill some more people.

OK.

If I had my 16,
I could pick her off so easily.

[MIMICS GUNSHOT]

[IMAGINARY GUN SOUNDS]

This is good. Did you make it?

Reporting from Hanoi Hilton.
Yankee dogs, you might as well give up.

The war is lost.
Jane Fonda was right.

Are you hungry?
Would you like some?

- Don't give him any, James.
- Why not? He might be hungry.

He's a prisoner,
and he should be treated accordingly.

Have you completely
lost your mind?

We're not soldiers and he's not
the enemy. He's a pizza man.

Back in Phu Bai,

he would have been killed the
second he knocked on that door.

I would've snapped his
neck like a twig.

And he never would've
seen it coming, either.

- Louis, Louis, calm down.
- The Commie bastard gets no food!

[GONG SOUND]

Yeah.

Yes, indeed.

That is deep.

That is definitely deep.

Yes.

Hm.

That's an interesting one.

So is that one.

You were born through
Caesarean, no?

No.

Well, it's not an
exact science, of course.

Apparently not.

Mangoes. You love mangoes.

How did you know that?

Well, it's all here in
the contours.

Yeah.

So, that's phrenology.

It's fascinating, no?

No. Weird.

You know what?
First, let's take this off.

And let's do something.

We are doing something.

No, let's get out of here
and do something.

- Like what?
- I don't know, but it'll be fun.

Why this sudden burst of energy?
My ankle's killing me.

Oh, your ankle.
Come on.

- You want me to get this?
- Oh.

Do you always look in
people's trash?

Well, sometimes it's the
best way to get to know 'em.

No, no, no. I wanna report
a murder and a kidnapping.

- Murder and a kidnapping.
- Yes, that's right.

- Did they take the body?
- No, no, no. I have the body.

- Did you kill the victim, sir?
- No, I didn't kill him.

Have you been kidnapped?

No, I'm not the one
who's been kidnapped.

Listen, listen, listen, I know
this sounds really strange-

I don't think we can help you, sir.

Well, fuck me!

Isn't that what the police are
supposed to do, help people?

I am telling you...

[SCREAMING]

They're leaving. Let's go.

Dammit!

Let's move it! Come on!

The pizza clown goes with us.

Get him on his feet.
I'll get Tricky Dick.

I want you to know, James,
this is all going on my report.

That's great, Louis.

Just make sure you spell
my name right.

Don't cross me, James.

All right, let's whack this
broad and get the tape.

Jesus Christ. That's Berger.

What the hell?

Get back here, you goof.

- Who's the kid in the clown suit?
- I don't know.

Oh'. Oh, GOG'. Oh, Christ'.!

Those bastards are gonna pay.

Oh, yeah. They're payin'.

Yo!

There's the broad.
There goes the broad.

Come on, come on,
come on, you moron.

Are we late for something?

- Faster, James, faster.
- I got it to the floor, Louis.

Who are those guys?

How the hell am I supposed
to know who they are?

And where do these guys
get off, takin' our body?

Come on, we're losing 'em.

[SIRENS WAILING]

Oh, Christ.

- Oh, shit.
- I've almost been waiting for this.

Now you see this here?
This complicates things.

I just don't like killing
cops too much.

Hey, forget about
the body, okay?

They're the ones drivin'
around with it.

I say we stay with the girl.

Potterdam says she
might have the tape.

Hey, Biff, help me, all right.
Who just died and made you king?

Hey, Mario, how about this?
Your mother did.

Don't you ever say anything,
ever, about my mother.

Your mother did, your mother did
your mother did.

Mario!

- How do we handle this?
- Just pull over.

OK, everybody. Act natural.

Well, well, well.
Look who we got here.

I am in no mood
for this right now, Mike.

Just write up the ticket so we
can all get on with our lives.

Well, I might not be able to let
you off so easy there, Jimbo.

See, you were doing 65 in a 35,
and you ran a red light.

That's reckless driving
as far as I'm concerned.

Who else you got
in there with you, Jimbo?

Um, uh...

What the hell is
going on in here?

You're... You're never
gonna believe this, Mike.

I... we, uh...

[LAUGHS]

I'm totally floundering.
I can't even come up with a good lie.

[CHUCKLES]

What'd I tell you, James?

I knew you were crooked and I knew
I'd catch up to you sooner or later.

All right, everybody out of
the vehicle right now.

- Don't do it!
- Don't shoot!

- He's got a gun.
- Don't shoot! Please, don't shoot!

Yeah, cop. I know you, man.

I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking,

"We got us another crazy
nigger here with a gun."

Well, let me tell you, something:
human life means very little

to me at this point in time.

You see, I thrive on misery.
In the jungle, misery's all you got.

But things are different back here
in the world, or so they seem.

Nobody wants to talk about
pain and suffering.

Everybody wants
everything to be nice and civil.

Well, OK, then. Let's be nice.

Let's be civil.

And let's drop those guns
before I pull this trigger

and change the way
you feel about me.

[GUN CLANGS ON GROUND]

Will the officer to the
rear of the truck

kindly drop his revolver
as well?

[FLASHLIGHT CLANGS ON GROUND]

[LAUGHS]

You know, you cops must really
think I'm as dumb as you look.

Now, don't you know that when
a flashlight hits the cement,

it makes a completely
different sound than a revolver?

Let's be good boys,
and do exactly as I say.

[GUN CLANGS ON GROUND]

OK, now, I want Mr. Sneaky Man

to come around and join
his partner, Mr. Bonehead.

Sorry, GUYS-

You will swing for this, James.
I shit you not!

I don't know, boys, but they look
pretty goddamn sweet to me.

[LAUGHS]

What do you think?

[LAUGHTER]

What do you think?

How you doing?

I'm OK.

I think my body's gone
into shock from all the alcohol.

I'd like to sit down, actually.

What was that for?

You didn't like it.

No, I liked it... a lot.

Then shut up.

[REGGAE MUSIC]

It feels like we're
drivin' in circles.

Carl could be anywhere.

You want some?

Promise you're not gonna scream
and cry if I take that gag off?

Now, if you're lyin',
Louis'll have to bash you.

You do understand, don't you?

Thank you. Thank you.

- It needs sugar.
- What?

Nothing.

It's not lookin' too good, is it?

- You givin' up?
- I never give up.

I never have. Never once, James.

I'm gonna take us back
along the esplanade.

Feels like a long shot to me.

At this point in time,
everything's a long shot.

I can't see anything.
Frost, gimme some light.

This is just a little uncool,
Luzinski.

Our brouhaha is with Carl,
not with the chick.

I'm just makin' a simple
adjustment, nothing major.

Shake 'em up a little bit.
Now, can I have some light, please?

Thank you.

- Come on, come on. Hurry up.
- Oh, yeah.

Now let's find James, and teach
that simple bastard a lesson too.

Hiya, kids. Are we having fun?

- Ted, what's happening?
- Who the hell are you guys?

HEY, shut up, you!

What the hell is that?

- It's a taser.
- A what?

A taser.
65,000 volts of electricity.

This thing completely incapacitates
the victim without killing them.

I got it on sale.

Let's move it. Let's go.

Put your hands up.

[TENSE MUSIC]

Ted, I think you should
do something.

If you come up with any ideas,
please let me know.

We have the right to know
what's going on here.

Hey, put a cork in it, sister.
You have no more rights.

And you, buying a
goddamn laser gun.

- Taser.
- Whatever.

- You've always gotta be so different.
- I'm in no mood, all right. Just lay off.

- No, you gotta be creative.
- I said lay off.

When I say "now", start running.

You know, Biff, you're an
amazing man.

You know shit about
absolutely nothing.

Now I've just heard everything.

Hold it, honey.

You listen to me, you Italian
son of a bitch, and you listen good.

The clay you tell me I don't know
shit and I let you get away with it

is the day that that ocean
freezes over.

- That's it. You're over.
- Furthermore, you dumb bastard-

[SCREAMING]

Now!

- That's my car!
- Looks pretty undriveable.

Come on!

Come on, come on.
Let's go!

Ted!

Ted, what the hell's going on?

I left out a couple of
things about myself.

I'm waiting, you son of a bitch!

First of all, my name isn't Ted.
It's Carl.

So from now on when you yell
for me in a panic, yell Carl.

Something tells me there's more.

OK, last night you and
Jack Berger had a fight.

An argument in your
apartment, right?

How the hell could you
have possibly known that?

Look, Susan, I don't
live in your building.

I am a garbageman.
I live across the street from you.

Now, I have been watching you almost
every day for the last six weeks.

Wait a minute! Wait a minute.
You have been spying on me?

- I don't really consider it spying.
- What would you consider it, then?

Let me finish! You and Jack
had a fight, you left angry

and the next morning I found
Berger's body in the trash.

- Jack's body?
- Somebody killed him, Susan.

- For a while I thought it was you.
- No, Jack is not dead.

Jack was over at my
apartment last night.

Trust me, Jack is dead.

Jack came over because there
was some mix-up with a tape

and I went down to my car to get
the right tape and...

The tape, the tape.

This is what had Jack
so worked up.

Come on, we gotta get
this to the police!

- What the hell was that for?
- For lying to me. I hate liars!

Hates liars?

That's for spying on me!

Come on!

[GROANING]

What happened?

It was something.
You got struck by lightning.

- Really?
- A freak storm.

[EXCITING MUSIC]

- Police!
- Thank God.

- Police!
- Hello!

Over here, by the playground.

Ew.

Sorry, GUYS-

Wait! It's not what it looks like.
Please, give us a hand.

No, I'm really not into it,
but thanks.

Carl! Come on, Carl.

Everything I ever said
about you, just kidding.

He was.

You're not really gonna
leave us here, are you?

That would be...

- Come on, come on, already!
- About a thousand keys here.

- Try this one. This one.
- I'm trying, I'm trying.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey!

- I got it!
- Look out.

- Move!
- Look out!

It's my turn, asshole!

[SIRENS WAILING]

- What is he doing?
- What are you doing?

- I'm crashing!
- Down!

[SCREAMING]

I'm back.

Let's go, honey.

Chief, we got 'em. We found 'em.

Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm Maxwell Potterdam the Third.

Maybe you've heard of me.

California magazine just
did a piece on me.

With the exception of being
misquoted several times,

I thought it was a
pretty good article.

Anyway, all that is...
unimportant.

This... is what's important.

Let's put these folks in the car

and go someplace a
little more noisy.

Come on, move it.

Hey

That's them.
Getting into that limo.

What the hell's goin' on?

I don't know,
but we're gonna find out.

[CAR STARTS]

I knew this was gonna get heavy.

A lot of good this thing
is gonna do us.

A Pellet gun?

You've been holding me hostage
all night with an air rifle?

- Shut up.
- This is too much.

We gotta find a way in there.

I... I got a plan.

That oughta do them.

I would love to see
those bastards try and top this.

I would pay a million pesos to see their
faces when they try to stop this baby.

Hey, pal, the next time
we see Carl and James,

it's gonna be Walt handing
them their walking papers.

[JINGLING SOUND]

Somebody's coming.

You, over there.

Come on!

- Come on, move it. Get up there.
- OK, OK, I'm going.

[TRUCK STARTS]

Oh we do live in
extraordinary times.

The lengths one has to go
to get the job done.

You're destroying the environment
and you don't even care.

How do you do it?
How do you live with yourself?

Gentlemen.

Although I'd prefer to dump you

along with the rest of this waste
at the bottom of the Pacific,

recent disruptions in our
operation have created a problem,

and now the Las Playas landfill
will become your final resting place.

- Buried alive?
- Oh, not to worry.

You'll probably run out of oxygen
before we reach the dump site.

Seal 'em up.

[MUFFLED SHOUTING]

Hold on, everyone!

Hey!

[BRAKES MALFUNCTIONING]

Something's wrong.
We're not stopping.

- What?
- We're not stopping!

[YELLING]

What the hell was that?

Why don't you move
your ass and find out?

No, you two stay.

I want those barrels sealed.
You two.

[ALARM WAILING]

- Everybody all right?
- Yeah.

Oh, shit.

Get off of me.

[SHOUTING]

Come on, let's go.

No, no, no.
No, no, no.

I am not some kind of comic-book
superhero. I'm a pizza man.

- Stay here and keep an eye on him.
- Yeah, right.

[TENSE MUSIC]

[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]

I want the trucks
moving immediately.

I want every goddamn drop of
waste dumped before the sun rises.

OK, Mr. Potterdam.

Go this way!

JESUS!

Holy shit!

[YELLING]

All right,
I'll pick it up on my way back.

- Hi, Carl.
- Hi, James. How are you?

Never better.

[HORN HONKING]

Susan! Come on.

Come on! We can't lose 'em!

- We're not gonna make it.
- We'll make it.

[SIRENS WAILING]

South Bay Security.
Freeze!

Rent-a-cops.
I hate rent-a-cops too.

[EXCITING MUSIC]

Carl! What the hell are we doing?

I think I love this girl.

Really? How do you know?

She let me feel the
bumps on her head.

Whoa!

- It looks like the bolt broke!
- No shit!

[YELLING]

- Hang on.
- OK.

[YELLING]

Trees! Trees!

- Carl!
- What?

- How you doin' over there?
- Piece of cake.

[YELLING]

You need help.

[GRUMBLES]

Carl!

James!

Hey! Carl!

I think I got a
problem over here.

All right, let me
think of something.

Hey, James, I didn't think
of anything yet.

Hey, Carl! I definitely
got a problem over here!

I'm coming.

[HORNS HONKING]

[SCREAMING]

I got you!

[CAR CRASHING]

Mr. Potterdam?

We're lookin' pretty
outnumbered here.

I got an idea. Follow me.

- What the hell are you doing?
- Protecting the environment.

- Freeze.
- What are you...

Everybody freeze or I
blow his head off!

- He'll really do it.
- I'm not kiddin'.

- Don't push him.
- I mean it.

His whole head.

You two with the weapons,
over the side. Do it now!

Yeah, man, I know you.

I know what you're thinking.
You're thinking,

"We got us another crazy
white boy with a gun."

Well, let me tell you something,

human life means very little
to me at this point in time.

[SIRENS WAILING]

Relax, James, the cops are here.

This is the police.
You all drop those weapons.

Yeah. Yeah, you!
You there with the pellet gun,

drop it or I'll blow
your butt away for sure, buddy.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING OVER
POLICE BULLHORN]

[CHUCKLING]

A Pellet gun?

You think we'd use a pellet
gun for something like this?

Get 'em!

[EXCITING MUSIC]

I gotta find Susan.

Susan!

Susan!

Uh-oh.

Stop 'em before they get away!

Susan! Susan!

Susan!

Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
What-

[YELLING]

Help!

[BANGING]

Susan.

Ow! Oh!

- Where are we?
- You don't wanna know.

Carl! Carl, over here! Get down!

Come on. Move out.

Move! Everybody in the car.

- Get in!
- Get the door open.

- Start the car. Start the car!
- It won't start.

- Get out of the car!
- Oh, shit!

Move it, move it, move it!
Get out of the car!

Hi, let's have a play!

Ouch! Be careful!

[YELLING]

High five!

Your car, sir.

[SCREAMING]

[GOOFY MUSIC]

Smile, butthead.

[GUNSHOT]

[YELLING]

Whoa.

[LAUGHTER]

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

Hey, it's not what
it looks like.

We're respectable
peace officers.

It's just all one big,
funny mix-up.

[BARKS]

Shoo! Shoo!
Get out of here!

Get outta here!

Good morning! You're listening
to the Poorman on open-line.

OK, we're gonna take
our next caller.

Hello! You're on open-line.
Go ahead.

Yeah, hi. My name's Stacey

and I have a boyfriend who I've been
going out with for two years now.

He works nights as a
delivery boy for a pizza place.

And last night he
never came home

and I am just positive that he is
out sleeping with another girl.

Well, I think you should
definitely dump the dude!