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1
00:00:00,968 --> 00:00:02,668
You're watching the simpsons.
2
00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:05,370
You know your life sucks.
Just get drunk
like you always do.
3
00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:06,973
Catch all-new episodes sundays.
4
00:00:06,974 --> 00:00:08,814
And check outour other fox programs,
5
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:11,609
Brooklyn nine-nine,
bob's burgers and family guy.
6
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:14,512
What is this,
and how can i make the rest
of my life about it?
7
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,745
Only on fox.
8
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:21,186
(beatboxing)
9
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,618
(tires screeching)
10
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,055
D'oh!
11
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:26,890
(tires screeching)
12
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:28,434
(grunts)
13
00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:30,527
All:
Huh?
14
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,230
D'oh!
15
00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:36,195
(homer groans)
16
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,673
No parking spots?
17
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,171
Lousy butt-kissers,
18
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,913
Coming in before noon,
19
00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:44,078
Eating donuts that are
rightfully mine.
20
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,082
Oh, oh, oh!
21
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,810
D'oh!
Stupid smart car.
22
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,076
(tires screech)
23
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:53,154
D'oh! Spot-hogging s.U.V.
24
00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:54,724
(tires screech)
25
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,392
D'oh! Inconvenient sinkhole.
26
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:58,591
(tires screech)
27
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:00,992
D'oh! Mandatory credit.
28
00:01:00,995 --> 00:01:02,255
(tires screech)
29
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:04,003
D'oh! "developed by"?
30
00:01:03,998 --> 00:01:06,068
What does that even mean?
31
00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:08,067
(gasps)
it's empty!
32
00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:09,539
Homer, no!
33
00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:10,937
That's burns' spot.
34
00:01:10,938 --> 00:01:12,398
How could you miss
that sign?
35
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,606
Oof. The last guy
that parked there is now a...
36
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:15,808
(quietly):
Speed bump.
37
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:18,514
(muffled):
Slow down!
38
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,252
Guys, be cool.
39
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,107
Burns'll never know.
40
00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:25,416
He's on vacation this week with
his weirdo hunting buddies.
41
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,789
Fellow members of the order of
the knights of saint caucasian,
42
00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:34,032
We've got a lot of things
to kill today, so...
43
00:01:34,028 --> 00:01:36,428
Release the sedated quail.
44
00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:43,035
(gun clicks)
45
00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:45,297
How am i supposed to hunt it
if it can move?
46
00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:51,939
Try it now, davy crockett!
47
00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:56,047
Damn you, surface tension...
48
00:01:56,050 --> 00:01:58,150
Wait a minute.
49
00:01:58,152 --> 00:02:01,452
If i can park
in mr. Burns' space,
50
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,055
I can live his whole life!
51
00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:05,617
Quickly now,
before i think it through!
52
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,226
(chuckling)
53
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:10,159
♪ mr. Big stuff ♪
54
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:12,904
♪ who do you think you are ♪
55
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,800
♪ mr. Big stuff ♪
56
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:20,112
♪ you're never gonna
get my love ♪
57
00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:24,077
♪ now because you wear
all those fancy clothes ♪
58
00:02:24,078 --> 00:02:27,308
♪ oh, yeah ♪
♪ and have a big fine car ♪
59
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,984
♪ oh, yes you do now ♪
60
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:30,953
♪ do you think i can afford... ♪
61
00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:34,021
(german accent): Come on along,
and sing our tiki song.
62
00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:36,591
(latino accent): And everyone
will take their turns.
63
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,990
(jamaican accent): To
celebrate a man who's great.
64
00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:43,103
The wiki-wakka liki-
lakka magic mr. Burns!
65
00:02:43,097 --> 00:02:45,257
♪ the wiki-wakka
liki-lakka ♪
66
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:46,496
♪ mr. Burns ♪
67
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,330
♪ the wiki-wakka
liki-lakka ♪
68
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:49,535
♪ mr. Burns ♪
69
00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,297
♪ the wiki-wakka
liki-lakka ♪
70
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:52,635
♪ mr. Burns ♪
71
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,040
♪ the wiki-wakka
liki-lakka ♪
72
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,371
♪ mr. Burns... ♪
73
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:58,376
♪ mr. Big stuff ♪
74
00:02:58,379 --> 00:03:01,109
♪ who do you think you are? ♪
75
00:03:01,115 --> 00:03:03,375
♪ mr. Big stuff ♪
76
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,284
♪ you're never gonna
get my love... ♪
77
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:07,546
(quietly): Simpson lines up
his hitty stick
78
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:11,115
And gets ready to clobber
the dimpled round-o.
79
00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:13,485
He's calling the signals.
80
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:15,494
(yelling):
Omaha! 35!
81
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:17,796
Hut! Hut!
Simpson!
82
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,228
(shrieks)
83
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,268
Incoming!
84
00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:26,565
(yelling): There's a lightbulb
out on level p-2!
85
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:28,244
Oh, good lord.
86
00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:30,812
The trapdoor is under
renovation. It's not safe!
87
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,711
(air rushing past)
88
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,983
(grunting)
89
00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:38,554
Mm-hmm.
90
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,622
Homer:
Mosaic!
91
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:42,989
(screaming)
92
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:43,990
Congratulations.
93
00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:45,261
You're halfway down.
94
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,329
(electric crackle)
95
00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:49,656
What the...?
96
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,367
(screaming)
97
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:55,428
Ow!
98
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:58,596
I'm drowning in cement!
99
00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:01,206
Uh, it's actually
concrete.
Woo hoo!
100
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:03,208
Of which cement
is an ingredient.
101
00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:06,010
(yells):
No!
102
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:08,583
(rhythmic yelling)
103
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,182
(moans)
104
00:04:10,184 --> 00:04:11,954
(marge humming)
hmm?
105
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:14,722
Marge:
Perfect.
106
00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:16,392
(chuckles)
marge,
107
00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:18,220
You've thought
of everything.
108
00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:20,525
Except for one
nagging detail.
109
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:23,457
Did i ever tell you about the
time i was in a big cast?
110
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:26,934
It was the shelbyville players
production of pippin.
111
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,904
Don't worry, homie.
Grampa: I went from player
112
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:31,402
To ticket taker
in one performance!
113
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,235
There's two ways of...
114
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,310
(seagulls chirping
and tide rolling)
115
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,045
You are in my seat.
116
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:48,724
Fight! Fight! Fight!
117
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:51,092
Asthma, glasses, asthma!
118
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,721
(grunts)
119
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:55,626
(cheering, yelling)
120
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,829
Oh. There's too much violence
121
00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,731
In rearview mirrors these days.
122
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,137
Homer:
Hey, boy,
123
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,509
Want to sign
your old man's cast?
124
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:09,407
No problemo.
125
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:10,410
(marker squeaking)
126
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,811
What does it say?
127
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,152
Don't worry about it.
128
00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:14,277
What did you write?
129
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:15,911
Sorry. That's between me
130
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,146
And everyone who sees it.
131
00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,951
Homer:
I need to know!
Hmm.
132
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:21,822
Begins with f and ends in c-k.
133
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:22,992
Why you little!
134
00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,120
(grunting, groaning)
135
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,425
(chuckles)
136
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:29,829
Homer:
Tell me!
137
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,160
Never!
138
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:32,525
(grunting)
139
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:33,933
(moans)
140
00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,004
(quickly):
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
141
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,143
Woo hoo!
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
142
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,137
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
143
00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:39,368
Woo hoo! D'oh! D'oh!
144
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,373
(slowing down):
D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
145
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:42,505
D'oh...
146
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,839
Woo hoo!
147
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:47,713
Marge:
Thanks, partner.
148
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:50,545
We've balled up
all the 13 gauge alpaca.
149
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:53,021
Now maybe there's
something fun we can do?
150
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,150
Sure is. A puzzle.
151
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:56,515
"foggy day in berlin."
152
00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,723
5,000 pieces.
153
00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,056
Hmm...
154
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:04,025
(german accent):
Homer, complete the puzzle!
155
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,061
I'm a married man!
156
00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,565
Fine. If you need me,
157
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:08,527
I'll be in your schpankenbank.
158
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:12,395
Female singer:
♪ we'll meet again ♪
159
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:15,536
Marge, i don't think
we should do this puzzle.
160
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:18,342
I know. You can't
pick up the pieces.
161
00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:21,845
That's why i've devised
a grid system.
162
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:24,749
Huh? I'll hold up a piece,
and you call out the number
163
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:27,552
And letter of
the corresponding grid square.
164
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,994
Uh... I don't know.
165
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,089
Q 15?
166
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,820
Sweetie, it's a side piece.
167
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,426
Q 15's in the middle.
168
00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:36,058
Right. Q 15 is in the middle.
169
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,263
Nothing more fun than rules.
170
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:41,095
I'll make some tea
to help you think.
171
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:43,841
Oh, i hate being
immobile and numb.
172
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,937
If only i was free to move.
173
00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:49,709
(moans)
174
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,110
If only.
175
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,111
(excited chatter)
176
00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:55,953
It's never pleasant to see
this kind of activity, lisa.
177
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,719
Particularly on a cell phone
that is so much nicer
178
00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:00,189
Than the one i own.
179
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:07,057
All the fighting seems to start
with who sits where on the bus.
180
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,960
Um, lisa. You seem to have a
handle on the bus problem.
181
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:13,033
Why don't you tackle it?
But don't think i won't help.
182
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,633
I'm providing you with a sash.
183
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,065
Skinner!
184
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:18,269
You are asking
a six-year-old girl
185
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:20,372
To fix this school's problems.
186
00:07:20,374 --> 00:07:21,774
I'm eight.
187
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,005
Oh, carry on.
188
00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:26,078
What do you mean,
there's a legal issue
189
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,449
With my trapdoor?
190
00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,148
And, uh, as you explain,
191
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,379
Please take two steps back.
192
00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:33,545
The old trapdoor
was perfectly legal.
193
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:36,054
It was grandfathered in
under the reagan-era code.
194
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:38,056
But once you start
renovating it,
195
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,928
It has to brought up
to modern standards.
196
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:43,758
Mm. And it has to be
handicap accessible.
197
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,834
A wheelchair would never fall
through the current opening.
198
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,303
(chuckling): Oh!
But that's not a problem!
199
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,101
I refuse to hire
the handicapped.
200
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,342
That's another issue.
201
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:53,137
But for now, we have
left ourselves open
202
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,640
To a lawsuit by homer simpson.
203
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:58,312
Fine. Smithers, go see
this simpson character
204
00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,682
And trick him into signing
a waiver of liability.
205
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,981
I'll discuss things
with the foreman.
206
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:07,415
(yelling):
Enrique, mas grande la puerta!
207
00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:08,821
(homer moans)
208
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,692
Look, homie! We got
three pieces together.
209
00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,122
That's a good day's work!
210
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,156
Why don't we do
one of maggie's puzzles?
211
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:18,662
Cow goes in the cow-shaped hole,
boom. Next case.
212
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:21,525
Hmm, i thought the one good
thing about you hurting yourself
213
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:23,935
Was that we could spend
more time together.
214
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:24,937
You did?
215
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:25,938
Didn't you?
216
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:28,539
Oh yeah, sure, of course.
217
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:31,542
Only a fool
would admit otherwise.
218
00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:32,635
Mm....
219
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:33,706
(doorbell rings)
220
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:35,948
(sighs)
221
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,349
(sighs)
222
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:40,991
Mr. Smithers! Come in, come in.
223
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,988
(chuckling): Oh! Well,
there's our tangle-foot!
224
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:44,460
Already on the mend.
225
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:45,818
Yeah, right.
226
00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:46,956
They say it'll be three months
227
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,960
Before i can scratch my ass.
228
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:51,002
Six before i can
really go at it.
229
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:53,058
Listen, i-i don't want
to take up your time.
230
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,126
I just need homer's signature
on a couple of things.
231
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,995
First, a get well
card to himself.
232
00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,965
And what else does
he need to sign?
233
00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,073
Oh, a... (coughing)
234
00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:02,414
...Waiver of liability.
235
00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,214
I know, i know.
236
00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,052
There are solid reasons to sue.
237
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,047
But do you really want
to fill your life
238
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:12,349
With parasitic attorneys
with get-rich-quick schemes?
239
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,222
Schemes? Rich? Quick?
240
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,321
Parasitic? Woo hoo!
241
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:19,063
How could i have forgotten
to sue mr. Burns?
242
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,889
That's how you get rich
in america.
243
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,094
Sue s. A! Sue s. A!
244
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,156
Oh, lord.
245
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,665
Finally, a chance to use this.
246
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:31,898
It was designed ironically,
but i would die for it.
247
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,044
Are you home during the day
because you were injured
248
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:41,906
At work, school, museum, church,
iraq, elevator plummet,
249
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,515
Uneven sidewalk, hit by foul
ball, hit by fair ball,
250
00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:46,618
Or iditarod viewing party?
251
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,220
The first one!
The first one you said!
252
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,021
Call me, maxwell flinch,
253
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:53,733
At 555-555-5555.
254
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,427
Five, five, five...
255
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:57,599
Wait, what was the number
after the first three fives,
256
00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,298
But before the last six fives?
257
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,069
Uh, simpson, before
you do anything rash,
258
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:03,898
Mr. Burns wanted you
to enjoy this get-well cake.
259
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:06,044
What's that writing on top?
Oh!
260
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,469
It's just, uh,
strawberry boilerplate
261
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,075
Absolving us of liability.
262
00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:12,037
Now just bite here, here, here,
263
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,075
Nibble here, lick here...
264
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:16,411
Uh, your wife needs
to eat this cupcake...
265
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:19,076
Sir, you cannot
bribe me with cake.
266
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:22,546
Because i just ate several pies.
267
00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:24,586
Hello, mr. Smithers.
268
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,091
I see you haven't given up.
269
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,733
(sighing)
270
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:30,098
Just enjoy the cake.
As long as you don't eat it
271
00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:32,097
In front of a notary
public, you're fine.
272
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,629
I'm a notary public.
273
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:36,334
You gave your ink pad to maggie.
274
00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:41,439
(moans)
i'll, um, i'll walk out
with you.
275
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,171
Don't go yet.
You guys can help me
276
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,506
Brainstorm a pattern
for my new quilt.
277
00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:47,952
Marge, i mean this
in the nicest way:
278
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:51,078
Your idea of fun makes me
want to blow my brains out.
279
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:52,324
(murmurs disappointedly)
280
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:56,617
Oh, razzmatazz is
perfect, marge.
281
00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:58,193
It's-it's uh--
it's red,
282
00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:00,261
But not,
uh, too red.
283
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,430
You're right!
284
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:02,958
Why don't you stick around
285
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:05,033
And we'll discuss
stitching patterns over tea?
286
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,262
I'd like that.
287
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,996
And i'll take the cake
back to the home
288
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,801
And share it
with the seniors.
289
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:10,803
Typical.
290
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,104
I'll keep dad company.
291
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,265
Thank you, bart.
292
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:16,043
Grampa (moaning):
Oh, i dropped it.
293
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:18,783
Hey, wha-what did you
put down my back?
294
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:19,979
Could be a tarantula,
295
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:20,980
Could just be some yarn.
296
00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:22,181
I'll be at milhouse's.
297
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,052
(whining fearfully)
298
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,346
(sighing)
299
00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:32,287
What the hell?
300
00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:35,132
Oh, it's such a pleasure
to pour tea for someone
301
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:37,128
And not have to
help him chew it.
302
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,700
We've made our choices.
303
00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,799
And the world doesn't
understand them,
304
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,201
But we do.
305
00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:45,800
Oh!
Ew...
306
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,766
Oh...
Aw...
307
00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:50,876
You know marge,
somehow i feel that
308
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,337
More than anyone,
you understand
309
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:55,075
Those horrible words,
"what do you see in him?"
310
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:56,512
I never said this,
311
00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:59,516
But did you ever think
we cling to these guys
312
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:02,549
Because we're afraid
to admit we were wrong?
313
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,356
Do you really think that?
314
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:07,227
Well, i've tried to
use it constructively.
315
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,729
I try to have
"the serenity
316
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:12,501
"to accept the things
i cannot change
317
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:14,699
And the courage to change
the things i can."
318
00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:16,001
Homer:
That's what they said to me
319
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:18,202
At that alcoholics unanimous
meeting!
320
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,595
(groans)
321
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,036
Lisa:
Attention, bus riders!
322
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,441
My new seating plan
avoids conflict
323
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:26,283
Through the use of
complex social algorithms.
324
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,849
It teams up
compatible seatmates
325
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,919
And places milhouse with no one.
326
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:34,047
Yet somehow,
i'm still a little scared.
327
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:36,024
Otto, why are you
sitting in back?
328
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:38,022
Waiting for my assignment,
chief.
329
00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:40,024
The driver's seat.
You're the driver.
330
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:41,356
Still me?
331
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:44,101
(scoffs)
new management, same mistakes.
332
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:49,603
It's so quiet. I've never been
able to hear my music before.
333
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:51,873
(rock music plays
over headphones)
334
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,672
Ooh, it sucks.
335
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,638
Lisa:
This is just the beginning.
336
00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:58,043
Soon i'll have control over
337
00:12:58,044 --> 00:12:59,984
Every aspect of their lives.
338
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:04,450
And then i'll make them achievetheir un-dreamt dreams.
339
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,821
Sherri next to terri.
340
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,220
Jimbo next to dolph.
341
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,921
No one next to milhouse.
342
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:11,663
Ralph next to
his invisible friend.
343
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,058
Kearney next to nelson.
344
00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:14,989
Martin next to wendell.
345
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,955
Cosine next to database.
346
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,265
(gasps)
347
00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:22,597
My first pg-13 fantasy.
348
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:24,642
Since we haven't been able
to get a settlement,
349
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,938
We'll have to start preparing
you for your deposition.
350
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,940
Caroline here will stand in
for the opposing attorney.
351
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:31,643
Good afternoon,
mr. Burns.
352
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:34,105
Release the hounds.
353
00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:37,254
Uh, sir, you should try to
project a friendlier demeanor.
354
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,250
Release the hounds.
355
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:40,652
Please.
356
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:42,654
Seriously, sir, it
would really be wise
357
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,116
Not to mention
the hounds.
358
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:46,164
Oh, that's like telling
three-finger brown
359
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,029
He can't play
for the brooklyn tip-tops.
360
00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,158
(groans)
361
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,602
Marge:
Waylon,
362
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:51,627
Now i can see why
363
00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:54,671
So many women in movies
have gay friends.
364
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:57,668
Like princess leia
and c-3po.
365
00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:00,101
Listen, i made this for you.
366
00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:01,506
(gasps)
oh, my god.
367
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,108
No one ever gives me a gift.
Thank you.
368
00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:07,050
No one ever tells me thank you.
369
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:09,207
I think you see my true self.
370
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:12,716
The one i never
pay attention to at all.
371
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:15,019
Oh, my god.I want to kiss him.
372
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:17,121
Smithers: Oh, my god.She wants to kiss me.
373
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,193
Marge: I'm a married woman.
Smithers: She would
374
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,021
Look good with a mustache.
375
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,086
(phone vibrates)
376
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,239
Uh, i've got to go.
377
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:35,165
Thank god i've got
a husband with benefits.
378
00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:37,575
Come here, you.
379
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,077
Okay, but... (exclaims)
380
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,990
Mmm... Smithers.
381
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:55,163
Homer:
Wait a sec.
382
00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:58,761
Marge is getting her emotionalneeds fulfilled by another man,
383
00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:01,665
And now she needs mefor nothing but sex.
384
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:03,798
I'm the luckiest husbandin the world!
385
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:12,175
You haven't gotten that
stupid signature yet?
386
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:13,338
No.
387
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:14,876
And i'm not sure i want to.
388
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:16,551
You defy me?
389
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:18,779
Smithers, pour me
a glass of water.
390
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:23,859
Now squeeze my chest.
391
00:15:23,857 --> 00:15:25,457
(coughs)
392
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,928
Now, either get that signature
or you're in charge
393
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:30,258
Of restarting our plant
at chernobyl.
394
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,603
That was us?
395
00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,058
That doesn't
leave this room.
396
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:36,936
Well brother,
prepare to enjoy another day
397
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:40,067
Of calm, peaceful behavior
on the school bus.
398
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:42,273
I got to warn you,
a lot of kids
399
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,275
Are pretty unhappy with
the required seating.
400
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,807
(chuckles)
401
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:48,112
Well, they'll be happy
when i also organize
402
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,754
Cafeteria seating,
who's picked for teams,
403
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,750
And i've divided the playground
into swingers and pushers.
404
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:55,093
That's insane.
405
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:57,558
You just bought yourself
a year of pushing.
406
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:11,842
Lisa: Order. Order.Maintain order.
407
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,538
Tunnel.
408
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,871
♪ ♪
409
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:30,986
Whee!
410
00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:34,191
♪ ♪
411
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:38,960
This message
couldn't be clearer.
412
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:40,595
The children need more sauce
on their spaghetti.
413
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,930
Also, their spelling
is atrocious.
414
00:16:41,935 --> 00:16:43,025
(tires screech)
415
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:48,042
Well, at least i have me photos.
416
00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:49,041
(screams)
417
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,042
(laughter)
418
00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:53,114
I thought i had
made things better.
419
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:56,713
Lisa, the bus
is supposed to be crazy.
420
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:59,116
It's the brief respite
between the twin nightmares
421
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,349
Of home and school.
422
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,393
The one thing a
know-it-all doesn't know
423
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:05,159
Is that everyone
hates a know-it-all.
424
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:06,958
Did we, uh, lose anyone?
425
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,790
Just the police chief's son.
426
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,855
(beeping)
427
00:17:12,966 --> 00:17:14,896
I bit a rat.
428
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,301
(clears throat)
429
00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:19,302
Marge, this is the
last time i'm coming by.
430
00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,005
Oh. Well, that's fine.
431
00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:23,837
I mean, i do have
my knitting to get to.
432
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,013
♪ mm-hmm! ♪
433
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:26,811
I'm going to a living hell
434
00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,053
Followed by a certain death.
435
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,978
Here's a picture
to remember me by.
436
00:17:29,983 --> 00:17:32,823
Taken by my grandma
from her deathbed.
437
00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,989
(sniffles)
the last thing she saw.
438
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:38,986
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
439
00:17:38,992 --> 00:17:40,392
Mmm.
440
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:41,933
What's wrong, honey?
441
00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:45,428
Oh, i don't feel like
i have anyone to talk to.
442
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:47,602
I appreciate that,
and i'd like to talk.
443
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,100
I'm just so drained after all
the time i spend with the kids.
444
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:52,504
Bart:
What time?
445
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,665
I took you
to that colonial village.
446
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,674
That was a pub at the airport.
447
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:59,376
I had an ale. You sat on a
barrel. That makes it colonial.
448
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,579
Homer, i'm sorry, you
have to understand.
449
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:05,451
Without waylon to talk to,
i feel completely alone.
450
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,192
I totally get it.
451
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:08,947
One question: Who's waylon?
452
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:10,185
Smithers.
453
00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:11,920
Totally get it.
454
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,455
Oh, my wife really needs
something and to get it
455
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,761
I may have to forego
my settlement.
456
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,363
Homer, you fell down a
trapdoor into a cement mixer.
457
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:21,225
Don't you think i deserve
something for that?
458
00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:23,634
I'm just trying
to do what's right.
459
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:25,966
Then why did you
file a lawsuit?
460
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,107
I really think you should
461
00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:29,568
Change the venue, sir.
462
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,736
You can't win a case
in this town.
463
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:34,554
Oh, are they still mad about me
eating the town panda?
464
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:36,047
Get over it.
465
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,124
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
466
00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:42,719
I'm willing to sign anything
you want on one condition.
467
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:44,422
Fine.
What's your condition?
468
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:47,234
You have to keep
mr. Smithers here.
469
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:49,627
I see.
And are you fool enough
470
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,729
To believe a man's handshake
means anything?
471
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,131
I am.
472
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,333
Well, put 'er there.
473
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,104
Homer, no!
474
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:58,742
Why doesn't anyone
ever think of the lawyer?
475
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:01,468
Aw, if i do a slip 'n' fall
on the courthouse steps,
476
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,114
Would that help?
477
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:04,739
(sniffs)
it might.
478
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:10,077
See you thursday.
479
00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:12,323
And i'll see you thursday night.
480
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,018
Oh. (chuckles)
481
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:17,360
And i'll see you
early friday morning.
482
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,117
Mm-hmm.
483
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,355
Mm-hmm.
484
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,860
Oh, these slippery stairs.
485
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,332
(exclaiming)
486
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:25,930
(gasps)
homie!
487
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,032
Marge, no!
488
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,200
(honks)
489
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,706
Marge,
490
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:37,437
I know smithers
was good at talking to you.
491
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:39,143
And i want to talk to you too.
492
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,705
Oh.
493
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:43,283
Just don't expect me
to be great at first.
494
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:49,192
Oh, honey, no one's great
their first time.
495
00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:50,989
It's like baking.
496
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:53,620
Uh, okay, well, uh...
497
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:54,956
I like you.
498
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:57,161
And i adore you.
499
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:59,963
You sacrificed yourself
for my happiness.
500
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,996
There is nothing
that makes a woman
501
00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:04,201
Feel more cherished
and secure.
502
00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:06,004
Thank you, my darling.
503
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:09,135
(whispers):
Marge, this is going great.
504
00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:12,012
Grampa:
Now don't you worry,
i made you both soup.
505
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:14,911
Ooh-hoo, it's pipin' hot.
506
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:16,384
Two hours in the microwave.
507
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,982
(exclaims)
508
00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:30,155
Who knows what the "d.C." stands
for in washington, d.C.? Anyone?
509
00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:31,033
Anyone?
510
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,200
Mustn't be a know-it-all.
511
00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:34,168
Never again. Not worth it.
512
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:36,097
D.C. Anyone?
513
00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:39,042
Daddy's kitchen?
(grumbles)
514
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:40,398
Not quite.
Anyone else?
515
00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,006
No? Okay.
516
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:45,878
Children, "d.C." stands for
"district of the capitol."
517
00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:47,408
No it doesn't!
518
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,283
The answer is
"district of columbia."
519
00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:51,622
And miss hoover, i don't
want to be a smarty pants,
520
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:54,118
But the previous answer
was texas.
521
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,920
Before that, 1848.
522
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,762
Before that, seward's folly.
523
00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,717
And your dentist appointment
is not tomorrow,
524
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:02,326
It's the day after.
Thank you.
525
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,870
Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
access.Wgbh.Org
526
00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:51,014
♪ the wiki-wakka
liki-lakka mr. Burns ♪
527
00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:52,710
♪ the wiki-wakka liki-lakka... ♪
34467
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