Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,835 --> 00:00:03,065
ANNOUNCER:
You're watching The Simpsons.
2
00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:05,300
You know your life sucks.
Just get drunk
like you always do.
3
00:00:05,306 --> 00:00:06,766
Catch all-new episodes Sundays,
4
00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:09,174
and check out our other Foxprograms, Brooklyn Nine-Nine,
5
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,306
Bob's Burgers and Family Guy.
6
00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:14,212
What is this,
and how can I make the rest
of my life about it?
7
00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:15,445
Only on Fox.
8
00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:25,164
FOLKSY ANNOUNCER: Well, it's
the first Saturday in September,
9
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,659
and that means one thing
in Springfield.
10
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:29,701
It's that time again.
11
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,827
Opening day of peewee football.
12
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,172
(over P.A.):
And everybody's headed
13
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:35,567
down to Child Soldier Field
to catch all the action.
14
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:37,139
It all comes down to this,
15
00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:38,498
the first game of the year,
16
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,166
perfect season on the line.
17
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:42,674
And drunks are being rolled
off the field.
18
00:00:42,676 --> 00:00:43,736
Ladies and gentlemen,
19
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:46,014
your Springfield Neutrinos!
20
00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:48,313
(crowd cheering)
21
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:51,724
BART:
Huh?
22
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:52,719
NELSON:
Where'd everybody go?
23
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:53,720
BART:
I can't see.
24
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:56,561
(gasps) They over-
fogged the run-in!
25
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,017
They put those
kids in danger
26
00:00:58,025 --> 00:00:59,655
just to psych
up the crowd.
27
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,190
Yeah, are you
psyched up now?
28
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:02,385
Huh? Are you?!
29
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,856
(players panicking,
helmets clonking)
30
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,865
Concussions!
31
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,437
Concessions!
32
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:12,572
(door dings)
Aah!
33
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,173
(anxious chatter)
34
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:16,735
My boy hit his head
doing football!
35
00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:18,244
I'm a doctor's wife.
36
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,075
Save my boy first!
37
00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:22,411
My boy needs an MRI!
38
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:23,416
(clamoring)
Ow!
39
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,417
Ow!
Ow!
40
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,718
Ow! Ow!
Oh!
41
00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:26,719
(theme music playing)
42
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,020
With head injury concerns
43
00:01:28,022 --> 00:01:29,792
on the mind,
the town has shut down
44
00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:31,290
its peewee football program.
45
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:32,722
Professor, what
danger does this
46
00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:34,726
concussion threat
truly pose?
47
00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:35,758
Uh, well, Kent,
48
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,803
these children will
need their brains
49
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:40,798
unbruised for the demanding,
high-tech jobs
50
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:41,801
of the future:
51
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:45,272
polishing and buffing
our robot masters.
52
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,312
Indeed.
53
00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:47,567
And here to
defend youth football,
54
00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:49,635
we have... Nelson's dad.
55
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:50,813
Are you wearing makeup?
56
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:52,811
Is it worth the risk
to your son's health
57
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:55,313
when only .1 percent
of youth football players
58
00:01:55,316 --> 00:01:56,616
make it to the pros?
59
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,617
You saying my boy doesn't
have what it takes
60
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,119
to play pro ball? Huh?
61
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:01,651
Boy, show him your moves.
62
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:02,785
Juke it, juke it!
63
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,960
(grunting)
64
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:07,259
Why are you dekeing it
when I said juke it?
65
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:08,291
Take a lap!
66
00:02:08,295 --> 00:02:09,455
Without football, Kent,
(Nelson groans)
67
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,633
how are kids gonna learn
character like I did,
68
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,132
you stupid fruit-munch?
69
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:15,604
And what is your problem,
smart-nuts?
70
00:02:15,603 --> 00:02:16,603
(grunts)
71
00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:18,674
Which brings us
to this question:
72
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:19,812
if not football,
73
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:22,207
what sport is safe
for our children?
74
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,781
But there are so many
club sports
75
00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,680
that can eat up
all our free time.
76
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:29,822
What about baseball?
77
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,147
(scoffs)
Baseball--
78
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:32,482
rife with steroids!
79
00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:33,986
Then test for steroids!
80
00:02:33,988 --> 00:02:36,318
Oh and then there'll
be no home runs!
81
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,163
(all arguing)
Um, I think
I-I may have a solution.
82
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,160
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
83
00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:41,531
What about biathlon?
84
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:44,199
That teaches kids to ski
and kill.
85
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:45,328
How about Frisbee-golf?
86
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:46,932
If I could just
have your attention...
87
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:49,134
Hey, what about
Filipino tooth-fighting?
88
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:52,136
It builds biting,
jaw strength and mouth work.
89
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:54,309
The champion for a long time
was a dog.
90
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,478
(groans) No one is
listening to me.
91
00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:57,807
Well, maybe no one
wants to hear
92
00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,141
your ridiculous idea.
93
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:01,376
Let's go, we're late
for prenatal yoga.
94
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:02,482
Milhouse is ten.
95
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:04,983
Why are we still doing that?
96
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:06,315
Poor Kirk.
97
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,650
No one listens to him.
98
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:09,985
Even Luann treats
him like garbage.
99
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,990
(sighs)
Love's funny like that.
100
00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:13,032
Help him out.
101
00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:15,157
Make people listen
to his idea.
102
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:16,362
Oh, why me?
103
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,833
I only came to this concert
104
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:19,671
because I was told
it was a potluck.
105
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:20,667
(grunts)
106
00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:23,698
(groans)
107
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:26,004
(arguing continues)
108
00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,506
Attention, smothering parents
109
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:30,639
who only came
to hear themselves talk!
110
00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:32,514
You're an idiot!
(arguing quiets)
111
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:35,583
This guy has as much
right to bore us
112
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:37,023
as any of you!
113
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,417
Take it away, buddy.
114
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:40,649
(echoing):
Buddy, buddy, buddy...
115
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:42,154
"Buddy." Huh.
116
00:03:42,156 --> 00:03:44,716
Um, I've got an exciting sport
117
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,525
that's great exercise
a-and teaches teamwork.
118
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:48,528
Lacrosse.
119
00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:50,229
La-what?
What-cross?
120
00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:51,361
What-what?
121
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:52,355
Lacrosse.
122
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,196
It's the perfect combination of
123
00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:56,671
America's two
least watched sports:
124
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:58,270
soccer and hockey.
125
00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,412
(murmuring excitedly)
126
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,367
Any kid can learn
to play lacrosse.
127
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:03,606
Even this.
128
00:04:04,178 --> 00:04:05,378
(parents gasping)
129
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:08,079
This isn't a drive-in movie.
130
00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:10,253
(parents gasping)
131
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,290
Everybody,
132
00:04:14,288 --> 00:04:17,058
feel free to whip stuff
at my son's face.
133
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,117
(laughter
and indistinct chatter)
134
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:22,558
Yarr.
135
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:23,703
Now hold on there.
136
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:25,727
Lacrosse has the second highest
concussion rate,
137
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:26,873
right after football.
138
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:30,738
(chanting):
Safer than football!
139
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,738
Safer
than football!
140
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,770
Hey, why don't we
have this fruit-munch
141
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,905
teach our kids
this crazy sport?
142
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:38,810
Me, coach your kids?
143
00:04:38,812 --> 00:04:40,912
Most of you won't even
make eye contact
144
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:43,154
when I'm weighing your yogurt.
145
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:44,780
I'll do it.
146
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,985
If Homer will coach with me.
147
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:47,987
Huh?
148
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:49,658
We've come too
far together
149
00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:51,287
on this crazy ride.
150
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:53,132
It wouldn't feel right
to do it without you...
151
00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:54,127
buddy.
152
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:56,258
(echoing):
Buddy, buddy, buddy...
153
00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:57,533
Mm?
154
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,730
Oh, fine,
155
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,434
I'll coach with this guy.
156
00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:03,836
But I promise you this:
157
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:06,607
I will never stop
complaining about it.
158
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,937
(cheering)
159
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:11,142
(grumbling):
Stupid sport I never heard of...
160
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:13,775
make me wake up early
on a Saturday...
161
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:15,481
probably have to
slice oranges...
162
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:16,622
Don't even know the rules
163
00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,147
because I refuse to learn 'em...
164
00:05:18,152 --> 00:05:20,322
my kids will probably suck
at it...
165
00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:21,491
And I'll have to kneel down
166
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:24,318
on photo day,
knees get all wet...
167
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:26,015
despite my bad attitude,
168
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:28,456
I'm thrilled by the
nonstop action...
169
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:30,132
kids running towards me
170
00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,530
with a look of joy
I've never seen before...
171
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,103
Dad, we won!
172
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:35,671
It's okay, kids.
173
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,299
What matters is
you tried your best.
174
00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:39,965
Have an orange slice.
175
00:05:39,973 --> 00:05:41,473
No, we won!
176
00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,805
Yes, we're all winners.
177
00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:46,811
Because losing
teaches valuable lessons.
178
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:48,484
Have an orange slice.
179
00:05:48,482 --> 00:05:49,652
We did it, buddy.
180
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:51,820
You and I make
a great team.
181
00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:53,149
We won for real!
182
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:55,053
For the first time in our lives,
183
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,485
we can say "Good game"
184
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,160
and actually mean it.
185
00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:59,388
Good game!
186
00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:00,833
Uh, good game!
187
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:02,888
Ha! That's loser talk!
188
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:11,071
(cheering)
189
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:14,111
(groaning)
190
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:17,212
Wow, pizza really does
191
00:06:17,211 --> 00:06:18,741
taste sweeter
after you win.
192
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,976
(humming happily)
193
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:21,981
Dude.
194
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,852
My kids have never
won at anything.
195
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,051
All the girl
does is read
196
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,152
and the boy's
got one of those
197
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,523
paying attention diseases
198
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,151
that isn't really
a disease.
199
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:30,856
Awesome job, guys!
200
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:33,158
How do you know so
much about lacrosse?
201
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,690
Wait. You want to know about me?
202
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,696
(disinterested
mumbling)
203
00:06:37,698 --> 00:06:39,698
Well, it all goes back
to my college days,
204
00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:44,600
where I was the star attackmanon our lacrosse team.
205
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:45,665
(crowd cheering)
206
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,312
(marching band playing)
207
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:52,040
I'd even been drafted to playin the pros
208
00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:53,845
for the Milwaukee Zoom.
209
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:56,417
After scoring thechampionship-winning goal,
210
00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:58,217
I was on top of the world, man.
211
00:06:58,218 --> 00:07:00,218
I was high-fiving everybody.
212
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,050
For the first time in my life,
213
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,715
no one, and I mean no one,was leaving me hanging.
214
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:05,885
I was slap-happy,
215
00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:08,133
I couldn't stop myself,until...
216
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:12,226
I highed one five too far.
217
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:15,072
(metallic clank)
(wrist shattering)
218
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:18,268
Our school mascot,Sir Gudge-a-lot.
219
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:20,606
(retching)
220
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,637
My Zoom dream died that day.
221
00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:25,114
Mm...
222
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,182
(grunts angrily)
223
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:29,447
Uh... Ah...
224
00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:30,450
(metallic clicking)
225
00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:33,251
My wrist healed,
but my wrist in here...
226
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,623
never did.
227
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:37,491
I've never high-fived
my own son.
228
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:39,621
The mascot wore
a suit of armor?
229
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:40,786
Just like a knight!
230
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,404
Yeah, but now lacrosse
has brought us together.
231
00:07:43,397 --> 00:07:45,627
Hey, a toast
to new friendship!
232
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:48,432
Could I get a roll of
toilet paper, please?
233
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,865
I get nosebleeds
when I drink.
234
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:53,839
To... new...
235
00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:55,511
friendship.
236
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,143
Mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
237
00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,505
(Homer snoring)
238
00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,111
Dad! Dad!
Dad! Dad!
239
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,445
Dad, wake up!
Wake up! Wake up!
240
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,220
(moaning groggily)
241
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:10,823
Oof!
242
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,124
(Maggie coos)
243
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,286
It's 6:00 a.m.
on a Saturday.
244
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,655
We have a weekend
lacrosse tournament!
245
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,204
(horn honking outside)
There's Coach K!
246
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,269
Come on, come on, come on!
247
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:24,541
(Bart and Lisa grunting)
248
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:25,538
(Lisa chuckles)
249
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:27,309
(both breathing rapidly)
250
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:29,007
LISA:
Come on, Dad!
251
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,479
(grunts, gasps)
252
00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:34,147
Check out the travel van, brah!
(chuckles)
253
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,807
Two days, ten games,
254
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:39,016
700 miles and
one sweet mixtape.
255
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:41,519
I hope you like
Big Bad Voodoo Daddy,
256
00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:44,162
'cause this van's
about to swing.
257
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:48,327
♪ So I think about
my next drink ♪
258
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,528
♪ And it's you and me ♪
259
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:50,830
♪ And the bottle makes three
tonight ♪
260
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,001
Uh...
261
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:53,499
I'm pretty sure a mixtape
262
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:54,900
isn't just the same song
263
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:56,502
over and over again.
264
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:59,373
No, no, dude, they're
different live versions.
265
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:02,343
You can tell because
some are longer.
266
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:04,542
(music stops)
Hey, you want a hit
off my vape pen?
267
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:06,075
It tastes like passionfruit
268
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:08,009
and people think
you're a smoker.
269
00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:09,475
Why would I want that?
270
00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:10,753
(chuckling):
Don't worry,
271
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,181
Marge isn't here.
272
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:13,515
Oh, speaking of which,
273
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,520
where is the
craziest place
274
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:17,262
you two have
ever done it?
275
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,557
What?
Let's both say it
at the same time.
276
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:20,730
One... two...
277
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,527
Don't!
Chipotle!
278
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:24,259
There are kids back there!
279
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:25,864
Oh, they can't hear us.
280
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:28,826
I got 'em watching
classic lacrosse matches.
281
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:30,065
(crowd cheering)
282
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,700
Textbook ankle-breaker
283
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:32,735
by Gary Gait!
284
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:35,669
And Paul Gait
with the dip and dunk!
285
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,576
Everyone be sure to fuel up
286
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,278
with a rice sandwich.
287
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,180
Mmm.
Mmm.
288
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:46,915
HOMER:
Rice in a sandwich?
289
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,350
That's mush-on-mush.
290
00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:51,085
Doesn't this dweeb knowkids need bologna to win?
291
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:54,031
Those sandwiches
had so many carbs!
292
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:55,557
I've never played harder!
293
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:57,202
Rice power!
294
00:09:57,197 --> 00:09:58,727
(grunts)
295
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,902
Uter, watch those
alligator arms!
296
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:02,271
Hug the pipe, Sherri!
297
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,599
Milhouse,
gobble and goose!
298
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:08,937
(cheering)
299
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:12,342
Bart Simpson with
the Canadian egg roll!
300
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,954
We won every game.
301
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,153
Kirk is like a sports genius
who everyone hates.
302
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:24,816
Worse than Jim Harbaugh?
303
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,655
Well, not that bad.
304
00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:29,160
I know Kirk's
a bit of a dizzy duck,
305
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,962
but remember,
you're doing this for the kids.
306
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,255
Right, right. The kids.
307
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:34,626
Everything for the kids.
308
00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:35,925
(gasps)
Oh, God, he's coming!
309
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:37,036
Hide, Marge.
310
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:40,640
Oh, good call, buddy.
311
00:10:40,641 --> 00:10:41,811
Disco nap.
312
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,478
We got to power up
for tonight. (chuckles)
313
00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:44,637
Tonight?
314
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,945
Which gentlemen's club
should we hit first,
315
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:49,477
Skin City or
the Tassel Castle?
316
00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:50,623
Gentlemen's...
317
00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:51,847
you mean a strip club?
318
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:54,152
Yeah, Wiggles has
great dancers,
319
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,794
but they're
kind of stuck up,
320
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:58,489
if you believe
Lap-Aficionado.com.
321
00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:00,162
Which, uh--
(chuckles) I do.
322
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,160
Why would I want to go
to a strip club?
323
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,002
I'm married to a naked lady.
324
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:07,497
Drive time to Sapphire Diamond
is only 39 minutes.
325
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:09,801
That's the fastest
it's been all day.
326
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,373
Hey, wa-- 38 minutes!
327
00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:13,811
Listen, Kirk, I'm a lot
of kind of guys--
328
00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:15,307
a booze guy,
329
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:17,338
a don't-know-my-kids'-
birthdays guy,
330
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,714
a steal-the-blow-dryer-
from-the-motel guy,
331
00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:22,653
but I am not a strip club guy.
332
00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:25,479
You do want to hang with me,
don't you, buddy?
333
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:26,475
(groans softly)
334
00:11:26,486 --> 00:11:27,886
I can't do it.
335
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,648
I can't pretend to bethis guy's friend
336
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:30,986
for one more second.
337
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:33,321
I scored three goals today!
338
00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:35,726
I'm a jock.
A jock!
339
00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:38,399
I didn't spit on my hand
for the post-game handshake.
340
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,368
Hey, pal,
I don't like Kirk, either,
341
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:43,997
but look how much fun
the kids' heads are having.
342
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,744
(sighs)
343
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:48,309
Of course I want to
hang with you, buddy.
344
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:51,308
But, you know, I'm pretty tired
from all those YouTube videos
345
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,481
you showed me
about whiskey making.
346
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,250
It gets its color
from the barrel.
347
00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:57,018
I know, the barrel.
348
00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:58,917
Let's just get some sleep.
349
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:01,019
Well, all right.
350
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:04,421
Next time we can just rage
twice as hard, I guess.
351
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:07,734
(click, then loud heartbeat)
352
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,188
What the hell is that?
353
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:12,196
I can't sleep without
my white noise machine.
354
00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:14,269
Womb setting.
355
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,537
(heartbeat continues)
356
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:23,839
♪ So I think about
my next drink ♪
357
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:27,354
♪ And it's you and me and
the bottle makes three tonight ♪
358
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:29,747
♪ Yeah! ♪
359
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:30,950
♪ ♪
360
00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:32,081
(tires screech, music stops)
361
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,745
Mom, we swept the tourney!
362
00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:35,254
We're playing
in the championship
363
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,055
against Capital City!
364
00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:39,188
(tires peel out)
365
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,232
Mwah!
366
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:41,857
How does it feel to
be the assistant coach
367
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:43,562
of a winning team?
368
00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:46,133
I'm going for a walk.
369
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,033
(groans)
370
00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:51,569
Oh, honey,
I'm so proud of you.
371
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,041
Well, you know what they say,
372
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:54,809
behind every successful man
373
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:58,108
is his assistant coach.
374
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,981
♪ How can a wife understand ♪
375
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:03,621
♪ What it feels like to
finally meet a man? ♪
376
00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:07,087
♪ The strongest bond
a dude could ever know ♪
377
00:13:07,087 --> 00:13:08,787
♪ Whoa, whoa ♪
378
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:11,319
♪ A guy to catch a game with ♪
379
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:14,134
♪ A pal you don't feel
lame with ♪
380
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:18,427
♪ Life began the day
I found my bro ♪
381
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:21,771
♪ I'm just a normal boozer ♪
382
00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:24,298
♪ Stuck with this lame loser ♪
383
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:27,814
♪ A dweeb that somehow thinks
that I'm his bro ♪
384
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,308
♪ Whoa, whoa ♪
385
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:32,139
♪ His eyes are small and beady ♪
386
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,345
♪ Staring, oh, so needy ♪
387
00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:39,977
♪ How I despise him
he will never know ♪
388
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:43,186
♪ So much cool stuff
we can do as a pair ♪
389
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,160
♪ Everything about him
is annoying ♪
390
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:48,128
♪ Dress as minstrels
at the renaissance fair ♪
391
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:50,158
♪ He smells like
fish oil pills ♪
392
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:53,203
♪ Foosball Fridays
in my man cave ♪
393
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,170
♪ That waitress
was not into you ♪
394
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:57,868
♪ Designing the world's best ♪
395
00:13:57,871 --> 00:14:00,001
♪ Blues Brothers fan page ♪
396
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,466
♪ He wants us to co-host an
Oscar party, what the hell? ♪
397
00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:05,475
♪ I hate everything about him ♪
398
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:07,978
♪ This clingy fat-nosed jerk ♪
399
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:09,651
♪ I'm glad he can't ♪
♪ Wish he could ♪
400
00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:11,319
BOTH:
♪ Hear me sing ♪
401
00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:12,848
♪ About this sweaty ♪
402
00:14:12,853 --> 00:14:14,153
♪ Awesome ♪
♪ Fish oil ♪
403
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,494
♪ Awesome ♪
♪ I was only pretending ♪
404
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:19,658
♪ To like that
stupid dork named... ♪
405
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:22,159
Oh, hi, Kirk.
406
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:25,832
(grunts)
407
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:27,572
(sad sigh)
408
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,004
FOLKSY ANNOUNCER:
Springfield, the city
409
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,636
that lives and diesby youth lacrosse,
410
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:38,042
a sport we first learnedabout five weeks ago.
411
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,044
And with just two hoursleft until face off
412
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,876
against Capital City,the countdown clock
413
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,512
is ticking away.
414
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:46,746
As always, laying out all the
information you need to know,
415
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:49,223
this is WXPO "The Pipe."
416
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:53,192
(cheering)
417
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:56,093
And now the man responsible
for this miracle on grass,
418
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:58,596
the "Priest of the Crease,"
"The Riceman Cometh,"
419
00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,098
Coach K!
420
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:04,371
(confused noises)
421
00:15:04,371 --> 00:15:06,071
Hmm, it's not like Kirk
422
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:08,572
to miss such an
important pre-game rally.
423
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,405
Yeah, well, better get slicing
on these oranges.
424
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,911
Where is that coach?
425
00:15:12,913 --> 00:15:14,553
If we lose this game,
426
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:16,407
I have to give
the mayor of Capital City
427
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,916
a crate of Springfield apricots.
428
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:21,089
We grow no apricots!
429
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,247
Kirk is missing.
430
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,885
I haven't seen him
since he left home
431
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:26,290
happily singing about
his friendship with you.
432
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:27,863
(humming nervously)
433
00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:29,861
Dad, what do you know?
434
00:15:29,863 --> 00:15:31,103
What?
Nothing!
435
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:34,127
I don't-- oh, oh...
436
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:35,404
All right.
437
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:38,902
The truth is your husband
and your father
438
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:41,035
is a soul-sucking loser
who found out
439
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:44,781
I was only pretending to be his
friend for the sake of the team.
440
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:47,478
But, but why did he empty out
our bank account,
441
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,410
and all in one-dollar bills?
442
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,646
Oh, no.
443
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,650
There's only one thing
a man like Kirk wants
444
00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,292
with that many singles.
445
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,417
To hand out to the poor?
446
00:15:56,423 --> 00:15:57,423
Worse.
447
00:15:57,424 --> 00:15:59,324
To bring to a strip club.
448
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,293
I'll go get him.
449
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,334
I'll also get him.
No, me! Me!
450
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:04,660
I just need to go home
and put on
451
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,434
my special sweat pants.
452
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:09,633
No, it's my husband's fault
that Kirk has run off
453
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:13,096
to that jiggle joint
and only he can get him out.
454
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,136
Me?
455
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,640
But those places are
filled with creeps.
456
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,813
Plus, all the
chairs face the stage.
457
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,282
What if I want to
have a conversation
458
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,680
with another patron?
459
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,311
Come on, Dad,
you've got to do it!
460
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,816
Without Coach K, we can't
play in the championship!
461
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,789
Look at the countdown clock.
462
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:30,017
ANNOUNCER: Countdown clock
brought to you by Ray's Steaks:
463
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:32,163
When you want to
raise some stakes,
464
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,188
head over to Ray's... Steaks.
465
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:37,664
(chanting):
Save Coach K! Save Coach K!
466
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,834
Save Coach K!
467
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:43,003
Save Coach K! Save Coach K!
468
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:45,003
As your wife, I'm begging you,
469
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:49,165
if you ever loved me,
go to that strip club.
470
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,675
♪ ♪
471
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:53,907
(cheering)
472
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,820
(dog howls)
473
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:00,818
(groans)
474
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,890
♪ ♪
475
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,226
HOMER:
Oh, guys.
476
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:14,999
(tires screech)
477
00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:16,231
(groans)
478
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:18,236
(rock music playing inside)
479
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:20,168
(angry groan)
Okay.
480
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:22,743
All I got to do is go in,
get the pervert,
481
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:25,142
and bring him back
to a park full of children.
482
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,875
Hey, I'm looking for my friend.
483
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,880
Bald middle-aged guy,
sad paunch, given up on life.
484
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,383
It's 10:00 in the morning.
485
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,584
Take your pick.
486
00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:33,745
(depressed groaning)
487
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,823
Oh, boy.
Oh, man.
488
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,860
(worried moan)
WOMAN:
Hello.
489
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:41,258
Uh, no, thank you.
Hey there, big guy.
490
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:42,531
No, thank you.
491
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:45,259
Happily married man
with no cash coming through.
492
00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:46,825
(panting)
493
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:47,873
Made it.
494
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,767
Nothing in this place
can tempt me.
495
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,669
(moans)
496
00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:53,071
Oh, baby, yes.
497
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:55,373
Those legs go on forever.
498
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:57,075
(moans)
499
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:58,737
Where are they?
500
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:01,075
Maybe we shouldn't
have sent Homer Simpson
501
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,251
into that den of sin.
502
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,248
(Marge groans, Ms. Hoover gasps)
503
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,119
My husband's a good man.
504
00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,518
He can do this.
505
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:07,719
(chewing sounds)
506
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,390
Oh, worst food I've ever had.
507
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:11,760
So much...
508
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,758
Is that guy still
in the champagne room?
509
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,560
He hasn't slept in days.
510
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:18,362
He brought a cooler
of rice sandwiches.
511
00:18:18,364 --> 00:18:20,234
He says they give him energy.
512
00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:23,903
Wait, who do I know
that likes rice sandwiches?
513
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:28,213
(gasps)
Bart's friend's dad!
514
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:30,108
So anyway, they
can't call it bourbon
515
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:31,940
unless it's from Kentucky.
516
00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:35,445
It's the American bourbon...
He's not a loser
paying for lap dances;
517
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:38,248
he's a loser
paying for listening.
518
00:18:38,251 --> 00:18:40,251
Kirk, we've got to go.
519
00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:42,323
The big game is
about to start.
520
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,292
Come on... buddy?
521
00:18:44,290 --> 00:18:46,760
Oh, now I'm your
buddy again, huh?
522
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,629
Well, guess what, buddy.
523
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,958
Carmeleena and Bodacious
are my true friends.
524
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,665
Nothing, nothing
that we had was real.
525
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,827
Well, it was all fake.
526
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:59,936
But, damn it, somehow you turned
our fat, lazy, loser kids
527
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,269
into winners.
528
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:03,844
Kirk Van Houten,
I don't like you.
529
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:06,643
But I respect you.
530
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,806
Respect?
531
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:09,314
That's the one thing
you can't buy
532
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,145
in a place like this.
533
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:12,321
(loud peeling)
534
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:15,188
I've got to get to that game!
535
00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:18,288
Hey, that's a great realization
you had there, pally.
536
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,121
Now if we could just settle
this up, eh?
537
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:22,156
$15,000?
538
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:26,462
12 lap-dances an hour, times
three girls, times 56 hours,
539
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:29,026
pole tax,
glitter recycling fee.
540
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:30,495
It's quite a ride.
541
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,503
(grunts)
542
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,844
(men coughing, Kirk yells)
Run!
543
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:34,909
♪ ♪
544
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,842
(nervously groaning)
545
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,684
(yells)
DJs!
546
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:40,649
Uh-oh,
547
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,047
Japanese businessmen!
548
00:19:42,982 --> 00:19:45,882
ATM with giant service fee!
549
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:49,145
Aw, we'll never
make it to the game.
550
00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:52,315
Our kids were depending on
us and we let them down.
551
00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,525
You let them down. You.
552
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,987
Did you say kids?
553
00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:57,695
We all have kids.
554
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,657
We'd do anything for 'em.
555
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:01,496
(babies cooing,
nursery music plays)
556
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:05,671
Come on, working moms, let's
get these dads to that game.
557
00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:07,572
I'm sorry, kids, but
your coaches aren't here.
558
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:08,914
You're going to have to forfeit.
559
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:12,078
And now to blow this
whistle and make it official.
560
00:20:12,078 --> 00:20:14,378
(gust of wind,
helicopter blades spinning)
561
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:15,880
It's the Strip-a-copter!
562
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,822
I mean, it's a helicopter
I've never rented before.
563
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:23,648
Helmet up, kids.
564
00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:26,516
Let's win ourselves
a championship.
565
00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:29,686
Who wants orange slices?
566
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:31,096
(cheering)
567
00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:32,757
ALL:
Yay!
568
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,370
No matter how bad our kids screw
up the rest of their lives,
569
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:39,700
they'll always have this moment.
570
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:42,206
Buddy, you deserve this.
571
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:43,368
(exclaims quietly)
572
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:44,906
(bones cracking,
Homer and Kirk scream)
573
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,611
Just because we're in traction
574
00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:49,413
doesn't mean this
hospital room can't swing.
575
00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:53,775
♪ So I think about
my next drink ♪
576
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:56,216
♪ And it's you and me and
the bottle makes three tonight ♪
577
00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:57,362
(muffled groaning)
578
00:20:57,357 --> 00:20:58,917
♪ Yeah! ♪
579
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:02,585
♪ What do you mean
it's last call? ♪
580
00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:14,071
Hey, guys, I know all you
"Crushin' It" fans
581
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:17,143
are super pumped
for my latest Crush video.
582
00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:19,283
Sorry, no contest winner
this week.
583
00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:20,949
Remember, to qualify,
584
00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:23,947
you have to be a subscriber
and leave a comment.
585
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:26,820
Now, the secret
to the ultimate rice sammy
586
00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:30,619
is to make sure the rice is
really wet, li-like soaking.
587
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:31,623
(high-pitched scrubbing)
588
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,164
(chews and slurps)
589
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:34,289
(high-pitched scrubbing)
590
00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:37,264
So after going in
to find it a third time,
591
00:21:37,263 --> 00:21:40,503
they just decided to leave the
colonoscopy camera inside...
592
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:41,500
(high-pitched scrubbing)
593
00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:42,801
Five words:
594
00:21:42,802 --> 00:21:45,602
jet fuel can't melt steel.
595
00:21:45,605 --> 00:21:46,595
(high-pitched scrubbing)
596
00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:47,936
When I held the door
for that guy
597
00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:50,640
and he didn't even say
thank you, I just lost it!
598
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:51,813
(high-pitched scrubbing)
599
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:55,181
Oh, man, Milwaukee
would've been so sweet.
600
00:21:55,181 --> 00:21:57,521
The Zoom were the kings
of that town!
601
00:21:57,517 --> 00:21:58,577
(high-pitched scrubbing)
602
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:05,059
Shh!
603
00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:10,900
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
39141
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof