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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: {1}{1}23.976 {54}{100}Why do I always have to|carry the heavy stuff? {118}{136}Well, it's very simple. {137}{210}In our ragtag band of scientists|with nothing to lose, {211}{245}I'm the smart one, {246}{278}Wolowitz is the funny one, {279}{328}and Koothrappali|is the lovable foreigner {329}{388}who struggles to understand|our ways and fails. {443}{501}That leaves you,|by default, as the muscle. {502}{531}Oh. {532}{606}One more floor,|and I'd be the pulled muscle. {631}{663}Oh, it's|about time. {663}{692}I'm starving. {693}{754}Um, well, we didn't|actually get Chinese food. {755}{790}Why not?|Don't panic. {791}{817}This is better. {818}{846}Oh, no. {847}{901}You didn't trade the food|for magic beans, did you? {902}{965}Of course not. {965}{1009}And technically,|magic beans would be food. {1010}{1061}Although eating them|would be quite a waste, {1061}{1093}since you could plant them, {1094}{1131}and overnight,|have a giant beanstalk, {1132}{1201}which would provide enough|roughage for a small city. {1201}{1254}Yeah, sometimes I don't listen. {1255}{1318}Sometimes I just watch|your jaw go up and down. {1349}{1394}We were on our way to|the Chinese restaurant {1395}{1451}when we thought we saw Adam|West, so we followed him. {1452}{1478}Who's Adam West? {1479}{1531}Who's Adam West?! {1532}{1610}Leonard, what do the two of you|talk about after the coitus? {1645}{1697}My guess is,|"Hey, four minutes! {1697}{1735}New record!" {1764}{1858}That's why I'm|the funny one. {1859}{1918}Anyway, we followed the guy|to this garage sale, {1918}{1955}and they had the coolest stuff. {1956}{1982}They were closing up. {1982}{2026}We got this whole|box for 60 bucks. {2027}{2060}We didn't even get|to go through it all. {2061}{2091}There could be|anything in here. {2092}{2124}There a new girlfriend in there? {2125}{2157}'Cause you might need one. {2158}{2201}No. {2202}{2282}{Y:i}But there is an|original final draft|Ghostbusters script {2282}{2323}with actual|slime stains! {2345}{2383}Oh, you're right. {2384}{2413}{Y:i}It's Ghostbusters 2. {2414}{2443}Never mind. {2444}{2516}Oh, my God. {2589}{2649}An Alf doll. {2671}{2721}When I was 11,|my mother got me one {2722}{2748}to help me sleep {2749}{2784}after my dad left. {2785}{2816}I used to pretend {2817}{2886}that my dad had moved|to the planet Melmac, {2887}{2991}and Alf was going|to bring him back to me. {2992}{3047}But he never did. {3063}{3124}Where's my daddy, puppet? {3208}{3259}Where is he? {3280}{3328}That is so sad. {3329}{3381}No, what's sad is|that you don't know {3382}{3452}Adam West was TV's Batman. {3453}{3539}♪ Our whole universe|was in a hot, dense state ♪ {3540}{3619}♪ Then nearly 14 billion years|ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ {3620}{3658}♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ {3659}{3719}♪ The autotrophs began to drool,|Neanderthals developed tools ♪ {3720}{3784}{Y:i}♪ We built the Wall ♪|♪ We built the pyramids ♪ {3784}{3842}♪ Math, Science, History,|unraveling the mystery ♪ {3843}{3898}{Y:i}♪ That all started|with a big bang ♪|♪ Bang! ♪ {3899}{3970}The Big Bang Theory 3x17|The Precious Fragmentation|Original Air Date on March 8, 2010 {3971}{4049}-- Sync, corrected by elderman --|-- for www.addic7ed.com -- {4113}{4193}Here's Spock's|head with no body. {4221}{4305}Here's Mr. T's body|with no head. {4334}{4401}Oh, yeah, here's Spock's body|with Mr. T's head. {4467}{4527}I pity the fool|who's illogical. {4589}{4662}Okay, I'm just|gonna go home {4663}{4713}and make a grilled|cheese and window-shop {4713}{4764}on eHarmony. {4788}{4825}Okay, bye. {4825}{4863}Okay. {4864}{4945}Ooh, look, an Indiana Jones|connect-the-dots. {4946}{4997}And an Aquaman|action figure. {4998}{5053}Looks like someone|drew a penis on him. {5053}{5105}Ooh, that'll come off. {5318}{5373}You see what you're doing? {5374}{5433}Stop that. {5433}{5463}Fascinating. {5464}{5496}What? {5497}{5554}{Y:i}It appears|to be a Lord of the Rings ring. {5555}{5590}Oh.|It's even got {5591}{5628}the Elvish engraving on it. {5629}{5660}It's not Elvish. {5661}{5737}It's the language of Mordor|written in Elvish script. {5769}{5837}"One Ring to|rule them all." {5838}{5900}"One Ring to find them." {5901}{5962}"One Ring to bring them all." {5963}{6047}"And in the darkness bind them." {6080}{6142}Holy crap,|are we nerdy. {6194}{6245}So, I was doing some checking|on the ring. {6246}{6299}Hold on. Sheldon, is there|ketchup on that table? {6300}{6353}Yes, there is. {6354}{6396}Oh, here's a fun fact. {6397}{6427}Ketchup started out {6428}{6463}as a general term for sauce, {6464}{6511}typically made of mushrooms|or fish brine {6512}{6542}with herbs and spices. {6543}{6608}Some popular early main|ingredients included blueberry, {6609}{6692}anchovy, oyster,|kidney bean and grape. {6723}{6787}No, that's okay. I'll get it. {6788}{6869}Listen, I was looking|at the ring, and it {6869}{6897}seemed a little weird. {6898}{6935}No copyright notice on it. {6936}{7019}So, I took it down to this buddy|of mine who deals with-- {7020}{7067}shall we say--|the seedy underbelly {7068}{7105}of the collectibles world. {7106}{7141}Seedy underbelly? {7141}{7197}You know,|your black market phasers, {7198}{7249}your screen-worn|Lieutenant Uhura panties, {7250}{7282}that kind of stuff. {7337}{7383}Who's this mysterious|buddy you suddenly have? {7384}{7433}Just a guy. I know a guy. {7433}{7497}Is it Eddie Crispo?|No, I can't|tell you who it is. Stop asking. {7498}{7537}Who else could it be?|It has to be Eddie Crispo. {7537}{7587}I know lots|of dangerous people, okay? {7588}{7661}Name one.|Eddie Crispo. {7661}{7697}Anyway, {7697}{7742}he said this isn't a replica. {7743}{7807}It's the real deal. {7808}{7878}If you're suggesting that|that is the actual ring of power {7879}{7933}forged by Sauron in Mount Doom, {7933}{7991}I look at you|with an expression of exhaustion {7992}{8040}and ever so slight amusement. {8114}{8183}He's not saying|it's a magic ring. {8184}{8229}You're not, are you? {8230}{8278}No, but it's close. {8279}{8314}Look at the markings inside. {8315}{8369}Those are|production|markings. {8370}{8441}{Y:i}Nine rings were made for use|in the Lord of the Rings movies. {8441}{8485}Three were given|to members of the cast. {8485}{8520}The rest were destroyed. {8521}{8561}Except one. {8562}{8627}One was stolen. {8628}{8677}Gentlemen... {8677}{8762}this is the one ring. {8813}{8878}Mine! {8911}{8941}No, it is not yours. {8941}{8980}We all went in|on the box together. {8981}{9036}Well, yes, but I|found it in the box, {9037}{9086}and the laws of maritime|salvage clearly state {9087}{9132}that the finder of|a sunken treasure {9133}{9170}is the owner|of the treasure. {9171}{9216}How is this maritime salvage? {9217}{9274}Other than the lack of|water, how is it not? {9275}{9335}Wait, wait. Sheldon, stop|being crazy for a second. {9336}{9387}How much is something|like this worth? {9388}{9450}Well, it's tough to say|since it's hot, {9451}{9501}but on the underground market,|my guy figures... {9501}{9525}Your guy Eddie Crispo? {9526}{9578}s. {9608}{9719}He figures ten,|maybe 15 thousand. {9720}{9755}Okay, that's a lot of money. {9756}{9830}The wise thing to do is invest|it in something practical. {9831}{9872}Like a jet ski. {9873}{9943}Why do you want a jet ski? {9944}{10023}All the wealthy and beautiful|people in movies ride Jet Skis. {10024}{10066}That can't just|be a coincidence. {10089}{10117}We can't sell it. {10117}{10155}We have to keep it {10156}{10186}and love it and polish it, {10187}{10221}and only take it out|occasionally {10222}{10253}when we go to the park {10254}{10325}and reenact our favorite scenes|from the movies. {10326}{10423}It's sad how great that sounds. {10424}{10451}Guys, it's stolen. {10452}{10490}It should go back|to Peter Jackson. {10491}{10534}He made the movies;|it belongs to him. {10535}{10563}Fine. {10564}{10620}He can have it back|as long as he promises {10621}{10674}to make me a hobbit|in his next movie. {10675}{10725}There are no|Jewish hobbits. {10725}{10769}Clearly, you've never|been to my house {10770}{10824}for dinner|on Rosh Hashanah. {10825}{10881}We are not blackmailing|Peter J... {10882}{10917}All right,|where's the ring? {10918}{10972}You mean my ring? {10973}{10998}What are you doing? {10999}{11026}The ring was|unguarded. {11027}{11069}It was just sitting|on the table. {11069}{11104}Anyone could|have taken it. {11105}{11150}Proof? I did. {11151}{11212}Give me that.|Look, let's be reasonable. {11213}{11268}We all want to do|different things with the ring, {11269}{11339}but your ideas are stupid,|and I want a jet ski. {11340}{11380}I found it. The|ring is mine. {11381}{11461}I don't understand|why in this group I|never get my way. {11542}{11618}You always get your way. {11619}{11721}I'll stipulate to that|if you give me the ring. {11722}{11749}Hey, guys. {11749}{11781}Enjoying your food|that I actually {11782}{11821}brought you|instead of promising food, {11822}{11896}but bringing you a box|of random crap? {11897}{11924}Yeah, it's delicious. {11925}{11968}The sarcasm's|a little stale, though. {11996}{12023}Hey, how about this? {12024}{12068}Until we figure out|what to do with the ring, {12068}{12096}Penny holds on to it. {12096}{12117}What ring? {12118}{12169}This ring. {12170}{12221}Looking for something? {12275}{12330}Will you hold on to this|for a couple of days? {12331}{12369}Why?|It's a prop {12370}{12416}from a movie, and we're kind of|fighting over it. {12417}{12457}Okay, just to be clear,|the first piece of jewelry {12458}{12499}my boyfriend gives me|is a prop from a movie, {12500}{12535}and I don't even get to keep it? {12559}{12623}If you had gone out with me|three years ago, {12624}{12681}by now, you'd have|my great Aunt Ida's brooch {12682}{12767}that she smuggled out|of occupied Belgium in a cat. {12794}{12846}How am I looking now? {14234}{14264}Ow! {14265}{14319}Oh! {14350}{14404}You hit me! {14404}{14480}I'm bleeding! {14503}{14545}What was that? {14546}{14617}Sheldon tried to take the ring|and I punched him. {14617}{14693}That's my girl. {14826}{14871}So, Sheldon, {14872}{14948}how's it feel to get|beaten up by a girl? {15018}{15063}It's not the first time. {15064}{15146}I have a twin sister|whose assaults began in utero. {15174}{15245}If only I'd had the presence|of mind to reabsorb her, {15246}{15294}then I'd have a mole|with hair in it {15294}{15376}instead of a tedious|yearly Christmas letter. {15377}{15433}Gentlemen, have you come|to the realization {15434}{15477}that the only reasonable|course of action {15478}{15520}is to sell the ring|and divide the money? {15521}{15548}No. {15549}{15574}I was afraid of that. {15622}{15669}Go ahead. {15670}{15708}Greetings from Mumbai. {15709}{15768}I am Raj's attorney,|Venkatesh Koothrappali. {15769}{15817}Also my cousin. {15818}{15852}You brought a lawyer? {15853}{15882}Don't answer that. {15882}{15929}I'll get straight|to the point. {15930}{15978}My client's prepared|to surrender {15978}{16013}any interest|he has in the ring {16014}{16078}in exchange for two|Kawasaki Jet Skis. {16079}{16151}We're not giving him|two Jet Skis. {16152}{16199}Look, we're big boys, {16200}{16252}why don't we just cut to the|chase and meet in the middle? {16253}{16283}One Kawasaki Jet Ski. {16284}{16311}Done and done. {16359}{16422}No Jet Skis. {16423}{16473}All right, forget|the Jet Skis. {16474}{16503}Forget the Jet Skis? {16504}{16539}That was our line|in the sand! {16540}{16585}What happened to|"tear them a new one?" {16586}{16614}What can I say? {16614}{16646}They played hardball. {16647}{16677}We lost. {16678}{16709}You're useless. {16710}{16753}I told you that|when you hired me. {16754}{16788}I'm signing off now. {16789}{16821}Call your mother. {16822}{16860}She worries. {16890}{16918}Okay, just so|you know, {16918}{16975}if we're bringing in cousins|who are lawyers, {16976}{17049}prepare for shock and awe. {17050}{17093}You know what?|I am ending this. {17094}{17128}Penny didn't want to|hold the ring anymore. {17129}{17160}She gave it to me.|I have it. {17161}{17198}I'm sending it back. {17198}{17238}Where's the ring? {17239}{17298}You mean this ring? {17324}{17365}Next time be aware|of your surroundings {17366}{17418}while urinating|in a public men's room. {17418}{17446}Give me that. {17447}{17471}No, it's mine. {17472}{17494}It's all of ours. {17546}{17590}Okay, now, this is ridiculous!|Then let go! {17590}{17622}I'm not letting go.|You let go. {17623}{17658}I say this ring belongs {17658}{17707}to the last person|who can hold on. {17708}{17760}Fine. But can't we go home|and start this? {17761}{17789}Sure. {17790}{17821}Let go of the ring. {17822}{17882}All right, it starts now. {17978}{18046}You do realize there's|a giant bug movie marathon {18047}{18101}tonight on the Syfy Channel. {18454}{18504}Wait, my laptop. {18760}{18830}You know, there's a point|when this becomes idiotic. {18830}{18908}And it wasn't when we were|driving like this? {18938}{18986}I would advise|the three of you {18986}{19025}that resistance|is futile. {19026}{19065}I have endless|patience. {19066}{19118}I once spent two-and-a-half|hours on hold {19119}{19166}with Hewlett-Packard|customer service {19167}{19242}just to complain about|their customer service. {19278}{19326}You want to talk about|endless patience? {19327}{19375}Penny made me watch|all five seasons {19376}{19427}{Y:i}of Sex and the City. {19478}{19526}There are six|seasons, dude. {19526}{19578}Oh, crap! {19614}{19661}No, no, no, the sixth|season is great. {19662}{19758}We go to Paris with Carrie|and get our heart broken, {19759}{19788}and then Mr. Big shows up, {19789}{19860}we don't know if we|can trust him again. {19861}{19913}It's a wild ride. {19958}{20010}Door. {20150}{20231}Okay, everybody,|and plié. {20400}{20451}And relevé. {20521}{20594}Whatcha doin'? {20595}{20661}Last one holding the ring|decides its fate. {20662}{20690}I know, it sounds silly. {20691}{20737}No, no, no, no, no,|you are my boyfriend. {20738}{20786}Nothing you do is silly to me. {20786}{20832}Thank you. {20833}{20947}FYI-- this is a bag|from Victoria's Secret. {21095}{21166}I'm out. {21395}{21442}I'm sorry, Ma, {21443}{21490}I have to stay late|at the office. {21491}{21546}No, he's doesn't!|He's lying to you! {21574}{21614}Will you be quiet? {21614}{21658}Well, if you want privacy|let go of the ring. {21659}{21702}I'm so glad {21703}{21770}we came to|this gentile|strip club! {21771}{21800}Howard, {21801}{21840}here's more bacon to tuck {21841}{21885}into the shiksa's G-string! {21928}{21973}I'll call you back. {21974}{22022}I think it's lovely|you call your mommy {22022}{22066}and let her know you're|going to be late for dinner. {22066}{22096}From what I know|about these things, {22097}{22141}if a woman doesn't|breast-feed on time, {22142}{22210}it's very uncomfortable|for her boobies. {22210}{22283}Don't you talk about|my mother's boobies! {22284}{22322}If you're offended,|let go of the ring {22323}{22383}and go on home to your|mother's boobies. {22384}{22421}Excellent,|excellent. {22422}{22464}Tire each other out,|the ring will be mine. {22465}{22530}Howard, why don't you|go after Raj's mother? {22531}{22614}{Y:i}Why don't we go|after your mother? {22615}{22662}Go ahead. {22662}{22713}I have no illusions|about my mother. {22714}{22760}She is a kind, loving, {22761}{22808}religiously fanatical|right-wing Texan {22809}{22858}with a slightly|out-of-scale head {22858}{22914}and a mild Dr. Pepper addiction. {22937}{22996}Anything you'd like to add? {22997}{23045}That's not gonna|get you anywhere. {23046}{23081}Better pull out|the big gun. {23082}{23105}You're right. {23106}{23158}Let's talk about|your grandmother. {23159}{23201}No! {23202}{23262}I call no Meemaws. {23263}{23298}Think about this. {23298}{23405}The only way your mother was|born was your Meemaw had sex. {23453}{23486}I don't want to hear this. {23487}{23569}Then let go of the ring|and walk away. {23570}{23603}Never. {23604}{23631}All right. {23632}{23660}I'll bet your Meemaw {23661}{23719}didn't just have sex|to have your mother. {23720}{23806}I bet she had sex|because she liked it. {23838}{23872}Stop it! {23873}{23914}Yeah, Meemaw|did the nasty. {23914}{23957}I said stop it! {23958}{24001}We're getting to him. {24002}{24025}Waterfalls! {24026}{24043}What? {24044}{24072}Waterfalls. {24073}{24096}Crashing waves. {24097}{24130}Babbling brooks. {24153}{24198}What are you doing? {24198}{24227}Subliminal messaging. {24228}{24282}I'm going to make you|want to pee. {24314}{24349}Dripping faucets. {24350}{24398}Leaky gutter. {24398}{24466}Peeing. {24466}{24507}It's, it's not|working, dude. {24508}{24581}Oh-ho-ho,|it's working all right. {24582}{24636}I have to pee. {24637}{24680}Then let go of|the ring and go. {24681}{24739}No, actually,|I wouldn't mind going, too. {24740}{24776}Fine. {24777}{24809}Um, on the count|of three. {24810}{24843}One, two... {24844}{24873}Wait, just to clarify. {24874}{24970}When you get to three,|do we stand up or do we pee? {25046}{25098}We stand up. {25098}{25161}Excellent choice. {25162}{25213}Three. {25346}{25376}Something tells me {25377}{25464}this was a bad day|to wear suede shoes. {25846}{25894}I've done it! {25894}{25939}I've won! {25940}{25996}The ring is mine! {25997}{26049}It's mine! {26183}{26282}We're going to clean it up|and make it pretty. {26282}{26342}My own. {26342}{26389}My love. {26390}{26441}My precious. {26646}{26692}Where's the ring? {26693}{26786}It's in a FedEx box on its way|back to where it came from. {26786}{26859}The fires of Mount Doom? {26860}{26924}Peter Jackson's office|in New Zealand. {26925}{26954}It wasn't ours. {26954}{26989}You quit the game! {26990}{27022}You had no right|to take it. {27023}{27061}I came in here, you guys|were all sleeping. {27062}{27107}The ring was on the floor.|No one was touching it. {27108}{27169}Well, so then we start the game|over until there's a winner. {27170}{27226}There wasn't ever going|to be a winner. {27226}{27285}There was going to be a selfish,|petty person with a ring {27286}{27329}and three people|who used to be his friend. {27330}{27360}Is that really|what you guys want? {27361}{27390}'Cause if it is, fine. {27391}{27448}I don't want anything|to do with you. {27449}{27499}And I don't know what happened|in that bathroom, {27500}{27538}but I am not cleaning it up! {27942}{28021}My precious. {28447}{28498}I knew it. {28571}{28603}Give us|the precious! {28650}{28691}Give me! Give me!|Get off of me! {28692}{28741}Give me the ring!|It's mine! {28742}{28805}Ugh, gotta go back to dating|dumb guys from the gym. {28806}{28840}Just give me|the ring! {28841}{28867}Give it to me! {28868}{28899}Give me the ring! {28900}{28927}I said give it to me! {28927}{28977}{Y:i}It's mine! {28977}{29121}-- Sync, corrected by elderman --|-- for www.addic7ed.com -- 19424