Original subtitles

WebRip-Fixes-Sync VaVooM

They ran out of buffalo wings.

I know, it's a tragedy.

Guess we aren't the only ones who've discovered the free buffet here.

Being broke really makes me feel cheap.

You're not cheap, you're just...

Frugal? "Cheap," "frugal," it's all the same.

Broke is broke.

You're going to find another job.

I don't know,

I should've studied business administration

or computer science, not art and Design.

Did you ever hear back from those Vera Wang people?

Sorry. Another rejection.

So far, I've been rejected

by every Design House I can think of.

Maybe I'm just not meant to be a designer.

Seriously, you showed them all your sketches?

Even the wedding dress Design? That's crazy.

Any designer would be lucky to have you.

Maybe, but, somehow, I don't think they're up nights

worried about people like me,

but I am up nights worried about how I'm going to pay my rent.

My six-month nest egg is almost empty.

Look, how many blenders do Shawn and I really need?

I can return some of the gifts and help you out.

Are you out of your mind? I could never take wedding money.

It would just be until you got your break.

I appreciate the gesture, I really do,

but you know how I feel about weddings.

They're sacred.

So, what's Plan B, then? Are you going to move home?

As much as I love my parents, that is not an option.

When I left home,

I vowed I would never use them as a safety net.

So, I am working on Plan C.

Which is...?

Take the first job I can find.

Don't laugh. I even applied here.

But you hate sports... And you hate jocks more.

I know, but I hate starving more.

No!

Excuse me, can we get a to-go box? For this...

That would be great, thank you.

It's a disaster, a total disaster.

- Honey, what happened? - It's Holland.

- Did somebody nuke Holland? - No. What? Didn't you see?

Danny Holland?

Only the greatest quarterback in the league.

He's down.

What's he got to be depressed about? He's a football player.

He was sacked by that big moose, Buddy Johnson.

Oh, so he was fired?

No, he wasn't fired. He was injured.

Do you have any idea what this means?

Seven years, 3,346 completed passes,

243 touchdown passes, and only 62 interceptions.

Then there's last year's mvp!

Did I tell you that he wants to have our wedding cake

in the shape of a football?

And you're still marrying him?

That is love.

Has anyone seen Elliot?

Elliot!

He's right here.

Here I am. I've been tweeting about your condition.

Why would you do that? We don't even know my condition.

Well, I can tell you this... That's one bad-looking ankle.

I don't need to hear that.

It's probably not as bad as it looks.

Honestly.

- How bad is it? - Who are you?

I'm Mr. Holland's personal assistant. What's the prognosis?

Just ignore him.

Good news is, you won't require surgery.

That's great news!

Well, how long am I going to be out?

It's an inversion sprain, so probably six to eight weeks.

What? Six... For a sprain?

Let's take it one week at a time.

So, what time does this one get here?

Any minute. I hope I like her. She sounded normal on the phone.

I don't know why it's been so hard to find a new roommate.

Maybe 'cause I'm such a tough act to follow.

You know what, I'm super late for work already.

I've got to go.

But... good luck.

- Hi. - Hi.

I'm Gina, the soon-to-be ex-roommate.

You must be Laurel. I'm Patty.

Nice to meet you. Please, come in.

Bye.

Unfortunately I've only got 10 minutes,

so I hope you don't mind if I just cut to the chase?

Then I guess you won't want coffee.

Here are my tax returns for the last three years.

I've got six months worth of bank statements,

my medical records, and several references from former roommates.

I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs. I have no pets, no Teddy Bear,

or other annoying collections, no boyfriend,

and pretty much no life because I work all the time,

which means I'm the perfect roommate

and you'll hardly ever see me.

What kind of work do you do?

- I'm a personal assistant. - It sounds pretty demanding.

It can be,

but it's also the best job I've ever had.

The pay isn't bad, but the perks are amazing.

The reason I'm in such a rush right now

is because I'm headed to Paris with my boss in 30 minutes.

30 minutes?

You'll never make it to check-in on time.

It's a private jet. There is no check-in.

This is a letter from the Agency that placed me at my current job.

Unfortunately, you can't contact my employer directly

because I signed a confidentiality agreement,

so I can't tell you who I work for,

but you can call the Agency for a reference.

So... what do you think?

I think I've got a new roommate.

And I think I want your life.

It is not always this glamorous, but it definitely has its moments.

By the way, what do you do?

I'm currently between jobs, but willing to do almost anything.

Then you'd be perfect as a personal assistant.

Why don't you call Trina at the Amsterdam Placement Agency

and tell her I recommended you.

That's so generous of you. I don't know how to thank you.

With the attrition rate in this field, Trina's the one who will be thanking me.

So, the Doc has a physical therapist already lined up for you.

He's going to work around your schedule.

Now, don't forget, you still have promos coming up for your book,

and then there's the, the wheaties thing.

And of course the, photo shoot. That is gonna be really good for you.

I'm surprised your injury isn't scaring anyone off.

Why would it?

I'm still Danny Holland, yeah?

Yeah, and believe me, they are paying for that.

Elliot, you want to give us a minute?

- Nick, he's got to go. - Well, it's about time.

I can't believe you put up with him for this long.

Hey, you don't...

...you don't think...

...that there's any truth to what he's saying, do you?

What? No! Of course not!

Elliot's an idiot.

Danny, look, you're going to back on your feet in no time, all right?

Let me tell you something, six weeks is nothing.

- It's six missed games. - Stop worrying and start icing.

I see Patty recommended you.

That's as good a recommendation as you can get in this business.

She's got one of the best reputations in town.

I even have a waiting list of clients that want to hire her.

She's going to be my new roommate.

Fabulous.

She can teach you everything you need to know...

If we hire you.

So, you graduated from the San Francisco School of Design.

Have you had any luck with that?

Not yet, but I am being realistic

and looking for a full-time job now.

You've never been arrested or charged with a felony, have you?

Nope.

One last question.

If TMZ approached you and offered you $50,000

for a photo of your employer with no make-up, would you take it?

That's not only a breach of contract,

that's a breach of my midwestern values.

- Great answer. - So, you have a job for me?

The only opening I have right now

is with a very temperamental chef,

but she just went after her last assistant

with a potato peeler, and, frankly,

you don't have the experience to handle someone like her.

If you don't think she'd come after me

with a meat cleaver, I'd try it.

I really need a job.

Sorry, but I don't carry that much Liability Insurance.

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, just, call the Amsterdam Placement Agency

and find another assistant for Danny.

What happened to Elliot?

Let's just say he wasn't very helpful.

Oh, and I need someone here by tomorrow.

He's got a full day of appearances.

Tomorrow?

I don't think I have anyone available that quickly.

I know that Danny always uses male assistants,

but I do have someone available if he doesn't object to a woman.

...making such a big deal out of this?

Let me find out.

...it's just an ankle injury...

What?

What!

About that assistant position for Danny,

it's going to be tougher than we thought.

Just get anyone, all right?

Just make sure that they're there first thing tomorrow morning.

- Who are you? - Laurel Welk.

I'm your new personal assistant.

It's really nice to meet you...

Okay, you can't be my new assistant.

The Amsterdam Placement Agency sent me.

Okay, unless this is a practical joke...

Okay, someone messed up.

- I'm a college graduate. - A college graduate.

Am I supposed to be impressed by that?

With honors.

Then why aren't you getting this?

I can't have a female assistant.

Even though that's blatantly chauvinistic,

I don't understand why not.

I'm a football player.

I'm used to being around a lot of guys.

I may want to walk around in my underwear if I wanted to.

I don't want to say excuse me when I belch.

And can you spot me 150 pounds? I don't think so.

That's your criteria for an assistant?

It's some of it, yeah.

Well, maybe I'm not exactly what you wanted,

but why not give me a chance?

You wouldn't even be allowed in the locker room.

Why would you even need someone in there?

I'm guessing you don't need help taking a shower or getting dressed.

You obviously need someone to help you around, what with the crutches...

Yeah, and I was expecting that someone to be a guy.

Okay, look, that's my car, and I have a really busy day, so...

Which is why you need me...

I appreciate your enthusiasm, but it really is not going to work.

The bottom line is I really need this job...

Which means

I will put my heart and soul into it, and you will not be sorry.

You're not the type that cries easily, are you?

Only when I watch "The Notebook".

Okay, we'll give this a shot, but...

- Just while I'm sidelined. - Sidelined?

- Not playing. Injured. - Right.

Do you know anything about football?

- Let's just say I'm learning. - Okay.

Well, then let's just say that this is on a trial basis,

but as soon as I am cleared to play,

I'm sorry, I'm going back to being a chauvinist,

and I'm going to hire a guy.

Understood.

And you won't regret this. I promise.

Let's get you to the car.

Thanks, pal.

Mr. Holland, I got that information you wanted.

Williams industries is selling at 150 a share.

Yeah, I wasn't asking you about the stock market.

Williams is a backup receiver,

and, there was talk of a mid-season trade.

Why don't you just, go get me a bottle of water?

Right away.

Hey, pal.

Smile, smile. You're enjoying yourself. You're enjoying yourself.

Someone, get rid of those crutches. Hunter, hold him up.

Somebody, get a board, a stool, anything. Just prop him up.

Hey, man, I'm not a piece of meat, all right?

My apologies. Good.

This is just temporary, by the way.

Okay, here we go.

Well, now you're just kind of towering over him.

I could scrunch down.

Well, then we'd be looking at your chest, not your face.

You know what, let's take five minutes, we'll figure this out.

Five minutes.

Just going to change some lights here.

I have your lunch for you.

Yeah, sorry, rookie, the clock ran out.

I already ate.

Okay, let's try some with the jersey.

Uh, you!

Go to the back, get Danny's jersey from the rack, please, quickly.

Yeah, that's not mine. That's Manning's.

This is the one you want.

Yeah.

Patty, what are you doing here?

That's my boss who was leaning up against your boss.

I'd heard you got a job,

but Trina didn't tell me it was with Danny Holland.

Your boss is the model?

I just got back from a long lunch.

She doesn't like it when I eat in front of her,

so I ducked out for a burger.

She doesn't mind you not being here?

Well, we're still in the trial phase.

I'm not sure I'm going to last even two days.

Hey! I'm caught. Somebody, help!

Guys, please, could someone do something, like, right now? Come on!

- I think that I could help. - Please.

Maybe you better not. You can't afford another fumble.

No, I got this.

I think I can fix this.

Just a little bit more. Nice.

- Will this work? - That's really amazing.

Thank you, miss...

It's Laurel. I'm Mr. Holland's assistant.

Well, thank you, Laurel.

- Can we start shooting? - Yes, we can start shooting.

Okay... There we go.

Impressive.

You are going to be one handy roommate to have around.

If we ever see each other. With our hours, who knows?

Oh, we'll be seeing each other.

Our bosses are an item.

What a cliche. An athlete dating a model.

Oh, yeah. That's it, yes.

Just put it right over here, guys.

Thank you.

All right.

Thanks.

All right, you're all set.

Thanks, dad. I appreciate all the help.

You know what, I'm going to give it a try now.

Slow down, champ.

The doctor said you had to take it easy for the first week.

You have to rest it and keep icing it.

Dad, if I rest too long, I'm liable to become another has-been.

We both know that's not going to happen.

You're going to be all right, son. You're going to get through this.

I'm not good at... Sitting around.

I know it's hard, what you're going through,

but you know what, this is not the end of your career.

Yeah, I guess that's true.

Now, what do we say in this family?

I know. "Never settle for the sidelines".

That's right.

Hi.

I'm here for Danny. I'm his new assistant, Laurel.

Really?

- I'm Danny's father. - Nice to meet you.

Thank you. Now, I want you to make sure

he stays off that foot,

and it needs to be iced four more times today. Got it?

- I'll make sure. - Okay.

Good morning.

Morning, rookie. I didn't think I'd see you again.

Why not?

Well, you had more fumbles than receptions yesterday.

I thought you might throw in the towel.

I'm no quitter.

Today's going to be better. You'll see.

What would you like me to do for you first?

My dog needs walking.

You don't have a problem with dogs, do you?

No, I love them. I'm a great dog walker.

Well, I gotta warn you, she doesn't like many people.

- What's her name? - Knute.

You named your dog after Newt Gingrich?

No, Knute Rockne.

Is he someone famous?

- He was. He's legendary now. - Really?

For what?

For being the greatest football coach of all time.

- Did you ever play for him? - Not in this lifetime.

Knute!

Knute!

Come here, girl.

- Pooper-scooper's right here. - A shovel?

Oh, trust me, you'll need it.

Sit.

Knute didn't give you a hard time?

Knute certainly has a lot of energy.

Come on!

Must be the ankle. It's probably freaking her out.

I know it's freaking me out.

Well, I am going to hit the showers.

The office is in there.

There is a cellphone on the desk.

That's for you, for as long you keep this job.

There's also a pile of work left by your predecessor,

but the most important thing for right now is,

you need to organize my schedule.

I need you to check with the team publicist,

my publicist, my sports agent, my book agent,

and my physical therapist.

You got that?

- Of course. - Of course.

Knute...

Come here.

- Can I help you? - I want to see Danny boy.

May I have your name? Do you have an appointment?

A what? You gotta be kidding me!

- Who are you? - I asked you first.

- I'm Isaiah Howards. - Who?

Isaiah Howards. Best tight end in the league?

I don't know what that is.

Then you have no business being in Danny Holland's house.

- Now, step aside and let me in. - Are you always this pushy?

That's how I make a living. Wanna see?

Hey, Isaiah. What's going on?

She belong to you?

Well, that's up for some debate, but you can put her down now.

- You... know him. - He's my teammate.

She's my new assistant.

Sorry, I didn't know who you were.

I need a new publicist.

Thank you for letting me move some of my stuff in early.

Thank Gina.

- When is she moving out? - Right after the wedding.

How's the job going?

Not great.

Actually, I stink at being a personal assistant.

It's not the long hours, or the running around,

or even the standing up to a tight end,

but half the time,

I don't even know what Danny's talking about

because he speaks in football.

I have got just what you need.

This is the personal assistant's handbook,

which I happened to have authored.

It will tell you everything you need to master this job.

It will teach you how to tell a cap from a latte,

a fine Cuban cigar from a two-dollar Costa Rican,

and a Pinot from a Merlot.

Study it cover-to-cover.

Oh, and make sure you take a good look at page six.

It has all the unlisted numbers

for the private clubs, restaurants, and the chief of police.

You know, just in case.

Thanks.

- I will add it to my homework. - Homework?

I need to learn everything I can about football

if I want to keep this job, so that's tonight's reading.

The job will get easier. I promise.

Even if your boss doesn't want you?

You know how they say

behind every successful man there's a woman?

Well, the truth is,

behind every successful person, there is a personal assistant.

- Is that in the handbook? - No.

But I like the sound of it.

I think I'll add it to the next edition.

Good morning.

What's that you're wearing?

You like it?

I made it myself.

I noticed the team shirts are so masculine,

so I just put my own spin on it.

It's called a jersey, not a shirt,

and I hope you didn't go out and make one for me.

No, I made you these.

Cranberry walnut muffins. Your favorite, right?

- What, nothing for the dog? - She already likes me.

I hope you like them.

I won a blue ribbon for those at the state fair.

Why do you have to be such a girl?

Nobody's ever complained about that before,

but do you have to be such a jock?

No one's ever complained about that either.

And that's what's paying your salary.

That's my ride.

Lucas is picking me up for practice.

But you're in a boot and have crutches.

You don't have to remind me.

I may not be playing, but I still show up for practice.

Come get me at 4:00, and make sure you're on time.

I thought you had a limo and a driver?

No, the publisher arranged that.

I normally drive myself, but, obviously, right now I can't.

Hey. Oh.

Lucas, come on, let's get going.

Excuse us, miss, for rushing out on you.

No, no, that's... That's just Laurel.

That's my new assistant.

This is Ron Lucas.

- Pleasure to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

- And quite the surprise, I might add. - Yeah it was for me, too.

Yeah.

Come on, Lucas, we're going to be late.

See you.

She's cute.

- Who? - Laurel.

Come on, Lucas, she's my assistant.

Don't even think about it.

Oh, come on, you know how bad I want to meet someone.

- Is she single? - How should I know?

- Don't you talk to her? - Not about stuff like that.

Hey, Romeo, keep your mind focused on the game, okay?

Shawn, call me back as soon as you can.

I need help with Danny's fantasy football league,

whatever that is.

So, please, the minute you get this, call me.

And make sure to call my personal phone and not my work phone.

Okay...

Stay. Stay.

Hi. Is Danny home?

No, and I'm so sorry, but we don't accept gifts from fans.

We're not just any fans.

I'm Danny's mother, and this is his sister.

Can I see some proof?

You must be Laurel. You met my husband yesterday?

Will that get us in?

I'm so sorry, Mrs. Holland. Please, come in.

Thank you.

Danny told me not to let anyone in.

Well, I'm pretty sure he didn't mean us.

I'm Julie, by the way, and this is Ava.

- Hi. - Hi.

I made Danny a pot of his favorite chili.

That's really nice of you.

He's lucky to have such a caring family.

We're lucky, too.

Well, besides checking up on Danny,

we wanted to drop off the list for the party.

Is this something I should know about?

Oh, Danny's giving his father and me an anniversary party.

Which means you'll probably be doing all the work.

Well, at least planning a party is something I'm good at.

Well, the last couple of days have been particularly hard on him,

so I hope you're not taking anything too personally.

Nope.

Personal assistant rule number 8 says

that you have to develop a thick skin,

so I'm working on it.

- Is it a special anniversary? - Yeah, it's our 35th.

35 years? That's... epic.

My parents only lasted six years.

I hope that didn't discourage you.

No, just the opposite. It turned me into a hopeless romantic.

I know what you mean, only I never end up with the right guy.

It just hasn't happened yet, sweetie, that's all.

As long as you don't give up.

I mean, there's probably some guy out there right now

thinking the very same thing.

Yeah. We'll let ourselves out.

Okay, thanks.

- Bye. - Bye.

Black 72! Black 72!

Red 27! Hut!

Let's go!

Good job. Good job.

Hey...

- You looked good out there today. - Feelin' good.

Too good.

- I'm starting to worry. - No, you aren't.

- Need a ride? - Yeah, I might.

Laurel was supposed to pick me up, but...

- I hope nothing happened to her. - Happened to who?

- Danny's got a new assistant. - Another one.

Actually, I'm thinking about asking her out.

It's a her?

And I already told you to forget about it.

It would be inappropriate if you dated her,

but I don't see anything wrong with me asking her out.

Laurel, where are you?

You're here? No... I couldn't find you.

What do you mean you're lost?

- You guys don't have to wait. - We don't mind.

Want to meet your new assistant.

There's nothing to meet, Durbin. She's just a girl.

I see him. Thanks. Thanks so much.

Sorry. They should really hand out maps for this place.

- That is a great idea. - Nice jersey.

But where can I get one for my wife?

Oh, thanks. I made it.

Later, guys. I gotta get going.

- Bye. - Bye.

This place is really confusing.

- Where's your car? - It's, right over there.

The... the red one?

That's your car?

I know it's old, and it drives kind of loud,

but it's sort of a classic, and I love it.

Is it a 1964 or '65?

'65.

'65... I had an '65 in high School.

It was a hand-me-down from my granddad.

It was a great car.

It runs, really. Just give me a second.

It's kind of an unusual car for a girl to be driving.

And I can drive it just as well as any guy.

Hey, glad I caught you.

Coach wants to see you for a second.

- Thanks. - Yeah.

- Hey. - Hey.

Just wanted to let you know, what you did with the team jerseys was great.

You're really creative.

- I really appreciate that. - I really mean it.

I'm not the type of guy who doesn't mean what he says.

Good to know.

So, feel free to tell me if you see me messing up.

Well, I will be seeing a lot of you, with Danny, I mean,

so I will keep an eye on you.

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

I never knew football players were so nice.

Well, we're not all bad boys.

Hey, Lucas, don't you got someplace to be?

- No. - Yeah, well, I do, so...

See you tomorrow.

- Bye. - Bye.

Casanova...

Are we heading for home?

No.

You're taking me to the Bay Area Boy's Center.

I'm working with some of the kids there,

and then I have a date with Hunter, so...

You can take the night off.

If you're entertaining,

why don't you let me fix up the house a bit?

Why? What's wrong with it? I have a housekeeper.

I just mean I could try and make it a little more romantic.

Try and hide the fact that you have a gym in your living room.

You know, maybe some candles, flowers, soft music...

- No Michael Buble. - Got it.

And I need you to pick up a bag of food for Knute.

We use the 30-pound size,

but don't worry, they'll carry it to the car for you.

I suppose I'll be the one carrying it into the house?

Well, I can't exactly in my condition.

If you were a guy, it wouldn't be a problem.

Don't worry. I'm stronger than I look.

Well, in that case, get the 50-pound bag.

It's more economical.

That was fun.

Hey, Knute.

I didn't think that when you said we were going to a club,

you meant... you meant the Boy's Club with little boys.

Well, you said you wanted to come to one of my book events.

Yeah, for adults, not children.

Well, if you didn't notice, that is who I wrote the book for.

- What? - Get away...

She's just trying to be friendly.

Can't you put her outside or something?

Yeah, sure, yeah.

Come on, Knute, let's go outside.

Come on.

Let's go. Yeah. Come on.

Did you do all of this for me?

And you even remembered yellow roses are my favorite.

They are? Yeah, right. Yeah.

Thank you.

You know, I was thinking

since you're injured and not playing anyway,

why don't you come with me to Rome?

I'll be on a photo shoot for a week,

and we could take another week and go to Venice.

Venice...

As tempting as that sounds, I can't.

And why not?

Well, being out with an injury isn't like being on vacation.

Besides all the rehab, I'm still part of a team.

I have to show up every day.

Well, that's too bad. Italy would've been fun.

Knute! Quiet, girl!

Well, we could do something fun once you're back in town.

I will hold you to it.

Knute, knock it off!

I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into her tonight.

Maybe she's jealous.

I don't know, she's never acted like that before.

Maybe it's me. I mean, I like dogs...

Most of the time.

Well, how do you, feel about their owners?

Well, there is one that I am very fond of.

Oh, my gosh, that dog is ruining our evening.

I mean, maybe if I brought her inside, she'd calm down.

She might, but I won't.

Danny, I just, I can't handle this tonight.

I've got a really early call in the morning,

so I'm just going to go.

Well, I'm sorry she's behaving this way.

Yeah, so am I.

I don't understand what's gotten into her tonight.

Maybe you should look into

getting her a really good pet therapist.

Maybe you do need a therapist.

Okay.

I was on my way out when you guys came in,

and I was gonna slip away

when you went into the other room, but then you didn't, so...

Here I am.

Did you, did you hear everything?

It was a little muffled,

but I'm pretty sure I'm the one that ruined your evening,

and not Knute.

Well... At least we know she's not crazy.

Am I fired?

What? No.

It's not your fault we came home early.

You did a nice job, though,

fixing up the place.

And the roses, that was a nice touch.

How did you know that they were her favorite?

Trade secret.

Shouldn't you be off your feet?

Probably.

Can I get you anything?

Your mom's chili is in the refrigerator.

No. I'm good.

Besides the chili, she also dropped off an invitation list.

Oh... yeah.

I guess I should have told you about the party.

Oh, no big deal.

Your mom and Ava filled me in.

It's really nice you're doing this.

Yeah, well, you know, 35 years is a big deal.

They're still crazy about each other.

Love stories like that are what people dream about.

Yeah, I suppose so.

If there ever were role models, they're it.

But not everybody's lucky enough to find what they have.

I can tell you my parents are role models of what not to do.

That bad?

Let's just say most of my childhood memories are of my parents arguing.

Fortunately, they figured it out early enough

and got a divorce.

They're both great,

and I really love being with them,

but I really missed having a family

when I was growing up.

Yeah, I can't imagine what that must've been like.

We have a great family,

but it didn't really help me or Ava in the romance department.

I've had a lot of failed relationships,

and I don't know, it's not...

It's not fun seeing it plastered all over cyber space

for the whole world to see.

But you haven't given up.

I just don't get too serious anymore.

But how can you fall in love if you don't get serious?

Who said anything about love?

I better finish cleaning up before I leave.

He sounds like a jerk. You're better off without him.

Listen, I've gotta get going,

but don't let it get you down.

There are still some nice guys out there.

Okay, bye.

- Did I mention no personal calls? - Sorry.

Ava says hello.

You were talking to my sister?

She said she tried calling you, but it went to voicemail.

She wanted to see how you were doing.

Why doesn't she just follow me on Twitter like everyone else?

She's your family. She's concerned.

So am I, and them asking me how I am all the time isn't helping.

Neither is avoiding their calls.

Pushing people away isn't always the answer.

Hey, I am not doing that, okay? I've just been busy.

More busy than usual actually, with the book

and, you know, all the rehab and everything.

Isn't that just an excuse?

I've never been called on that before.

There is my playbook. I was looking for that.

Wait. This...

This is not my playbook.

Oh, no, sorry. That's my notebook.

It's just some sketches I've been working on.

But only during my lunch break. Honest.

These look professional.

Is this another hidden talent of yours?

The jury's still out on that.

I got my degree in Fashion Design,

but I haven't exactly turned it into a career yet.

Of course, the jersey you made. Now I... see the connection.

Your playbook is on the kitchen counter.

I made the same mistake earlier and thought it was mine.

Danny Holland's office.

Hey, Drew.

Hold on, let me ask.

Hey, Ned wants to know if you can go to dinner some time next week

with someone named Marino?

Dan Marino!

The only night that you have free is Tuesday.

Absolutely.

He's also someone I should know, isn't he?

Yeah.

It's too bad you didn't have any brothers.

It probably would've made this job a lot easier for you.

Hey, it sounds like Tuesday night will work.

Come on, Miners!

So, when is Patty actually moving in?

She has a half day off in the next three weeks,

but in the meantime, she's leaving a few boxes.

- She's in Rome with Hunter. - Rome?

Let's go, boys, don't get lazy!

Too bad you got stuck working for a football player.

Don't let Shawn hear you say that.

Before I forget...

Go deep, go deep...

...Ron Lucas called you earlier.

Ron Lucas called here?

Shawn, don't you dare look in here! That's bad luck!

Sorry.

You know who Ron Lucas is?

Of course I know who Ron Lucas is.

I'd better, if I'm marrying Shawn.

I think he wants to ask me out.

And is that a good thing?

Under normal circumstances, it would be,

but since he's my boss' best friend, it's kind of awkward.

This job's really changing you.

You wouldn't have even considered dating an athlete before.

Athletes don't always fit the stereotype.

I'm even beginning to think that there's another side to Danny.

Oh, really?

I'm just saying that people aren't always who you think they are.

Laurel! Fourth quarter's almost over.

If you want me to teach you about football, you'd better get out here.

It's fine.

Okay, just give me a few minutes.

- Be careful about the pins. - I won't move.

Okay.

Okay.

- Okay, have a seat. - Okay.

I was trying to explain to you about the first down marker?

See that yellow line that goes all the way down the screen...

- Facemask! - Facemask!

- Well... - Why is it moving?

Because they're gaining yardage.

And it's ten yards to a first down, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, you're really starting to pick this up.

Hi.

Laurel, I need help. I'm stuck.

Okay, hold on. Don't move.

Yup...

Thank you.

What are you doing?

I'm trying to get my phone.

It just fell under the couch.

Here, let me help you.

I'm guessing this isn't yours.

What, you don't think football players can read literature?

You're not the only person who went to college, you know.

It's just, it's right under here.

Do you see it?

Right here.

Thank you.

Yup.

You've been voted sexiest man in sports two years in a row.

How does that feel?

It's very nice, but it's not what my book is about.

You're dating Hunter St. James.

Does that mean you're off the market?

I'd prefer not to talk about my private life.

Then you're not denying it?

I'm not talking about it either way.

Okay, come on, but your fans want to know.

Just...

Let me just say that...

That...

My area of expertise is playing on the field, not playing the field.

Sure.

Now, how about we get back to discussing my book,

which, as you know, I wrote for kids,

and all the proceeds go to Inner-City youth programs...

Okay...

- You still there? - Oh, yeah.

- Here, let me. - I can get out of the car myself.

Right. Sorry.

Problem?

No, it's fine. I'll just call the auto club.

- Why don't I take a look? - You don't have to.

I'm not going to ruin your car if that's what you're afraid of.

I used to work on mine all the time.

Fine, if you really want to.

I think I see the problem.

You've got some grease...

Hold on. I have... yeah.

- Did I... Did I get it? - No.

Now it's on your nose.

Hey...

I even read it.

What'd you think?

I thought it was honest and inspiring.

I especially liked the part

where you talked about kids overcoming their fears.

That's 'cause I lived it.

There are a lot of kids with worse odds than I ever had.

That's why I wrote the book.

Well, if the football thing doesn't work out,

I guess you've got a future as a writer.

I'm serious.

Thank you.

- I'll see you later. - Okay.

Oh, and Danny wants to know

if it's all right to invite a few of his teammates.

Of course.

- How is Danny? - He's doing well.

Busier than usual, I guess.

Then you must be busier than usual, too,

so why don't I help out a bit?

I'll call the players and invite them, since I know most of them.

That would be great, thank you.

Eric Durbin, Isaiah Howards, Ron Lucas...

I haven't seen Ron in a while. Glad he's on the list.

Is Danny bringing a date?

- I assume Hunter. - She's the model?

Naturally.

Haven't you met her?

Danny doesn't introduce us unless it's serious.

Which means we haven't met many of Danny's girlfriends.

I really like this. Isn't that sweet?

Oh, yeah, that's really pretty.

I wish Danny would find someone to get serious with.

Despite appearances, he's really not one of those player types.

Just seems like he's dating the wrong type of women.

I'm pretty sure he knows that.

Ten more seconds, come on.

Ankle feels good. I'm going to keep going.

You're supposed to stick to the regimen, not make up your own.

- Thanks for helping me out today. - Sure.

I'm sorry I missed Laurel.

I'll be sure to tell her.

No, you won't.

- See you tomorrow. - See you.

I think this one...

- What is that? - Sorry, it's my phone.

It's the emergency line.

It isn't Danny, is it?

No, no, it's an emergency with my roommate's wedding.

Danny? I'll be right there.

Sorry, excuse me! I have to go.

- Okay, bye, sweetie! - Bye!

How bad is it?

Actually, it's good news. I didn't do any damage.

What a relief!

I mean... You must be so relieved.

And a lot more comfortable.

Doc said I don't have to wear the walking boot anymore,

just an aircast.

That's great.

Hey, can you do me a favor? Can we tell no one what I did?

You don't have to worry.

Discretion is rule number two in the personal assistant's handbook.

- What's rule number one? - Never get too personal.

Hey, Knute...

Hey, girl.

You waiting for us?

Yeah...

I'll get you an ice pack.

Could you bring it out to the patio?

I think I might sit out there for a while.

Want to go to the patio? Yeah? Go outside?

Come on.

Hey, you want some wine?

Thank you.

Hey, thanks...

- For not judging me today. - Why would I do that?

Well, I've been doing it to you for the last four weeks.

And what's the verdict?

Well, the verdict is that you are better than Elliot ever was.

- I guess that's something. - You'd prefer a letter grade?

- Only if it's above a C. - I was going to say B minus.

I'll take it.

But I've always been an A student, and I will get there.

You'll see.

Good.

Is there anything else that you need me to do today, or...?

No.

You could probably take off, if you want.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Thanks for the wine.

That's so sweet...

Okay, ladies, I want to make a toast.

There we go.

To Gina and Shawn.

I may be losing a roommate, but I am gaining free dental care.

Cheers.

I love you guys.

Hey, look, Laurel's here.

Danny's assistant?

- Yeah. - Where?

Looks like a girls' night. Let's not spoil it.

Oh, no. My boss just walked in.

Which one is he?

He's the really good-looking one with the leather jacket.

- Isn't he on the wheaties box? - Yes.

Hi, Laurel. This is a nice surprise.

Hey, Ron. What are you guys doing here?

Late practice. Some of the guys wanted to grab a drink.

- Danny's over there, too. - Nice.

We're having a bridal shower, actually.

Everyone, this is Ron Lucas.

- Hi. - Hi.

Why don't you invite your friends to come over?

- Yeah! - Sure.

Yeah, I'll go grab 'em.

He's adorable.

They don't want to come over here.

They're football players.

We won't hold it against them.

And if any of you ever tell Shawn about this,

I'm not going to talk to you again.

No way!

I just don't get it.

He was the one that came on strong.

He pursued me, and then nothing.

- Do you think I should call him? - Yeah, totally.

You're right.

I mean, it's been over a week. It's time.

What do you... As a guy, what do you think?

Look, by not calling this jerk, he's going to wonder what happened.

"Did she meet someone else?" "Was she just not that into me?"

He's gonna not know, and it's going to drive him crazy,

and you're gonna be the one that he'll always think about.

That's my opinion.

- I'm going to go check up. - Yeah, sure.

- No, that's good. - That's really good.

Danny, can I help you with anything?

No, thanks.

You do know you're off the clock, don't you?

Right.

So, when's the wedding?

It's Sunday, so I won't be available,

but that is the only night that I really need off...

I think I can manage.

That was really nice what you said to her just now.

Well, I call 'em like I see 'em.

She really needed to hear it, especially from a guy.

Even if I am a... A jock?

I'm sorry I called you that.

What do you have against us, anyway?

I don't know. I just don't like them...

Most of the time.

No, that's what you say about Brussels sprouts or a root canal.

There has to be a reason.

In High School, they made my life miserable.

I was a little on the nerdy side.

You know, braces and glasses.

The football team loved to pick on me.

You know, they only did that because of their own insecurities.

Some guys do grow out of it, you know.

Really?

Yeah.

Do you need a ride home?

No.

I'm with Lucas.

Let's go Romeo.

Good night.

- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too.

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

So, are you bringing Hunter to mom and dad's party?

Probably...

...but I'm not sure.

You going to bring someone?

Maybe.

Who's the guy?

Someone I thought was just a friend,

and I think it might be turning into something more.

But I don't want to jinx it by talking about it.

Yeah, understood.

But I do want to talk about which one of us will make a speech.

I've been thinking I'd like to do it.

But I usually make the speeches.

That's my point.

How about letting me do it for a change?

Yeah, well then, what am I supposed to do?

I don't know, maybe just enjoy the party, have a good time.

Yeah, but everyone's going to expect me to give a speech.

I know you're used to being the center of attention,

but maybe you could give it up just for one night?

Okay, hey, that is not fair.

I don't always have to be the center of attention...

Can I bother you for an autograph?

He's all yours.

Ava...

- There you go, bud. - Thank you.

I'm gonna go over there. I'll...

What was that?

It's Danny. He's using the emergency code.

What should I do?

Well, check to see what he wants.

But it's the middle of your wedding!

Well, actually, technically we're already married, so...

Go, check.

What does he want?

He didn't say, he just said that he needs to see me.

Then you should go.

But I can't run out during your wedding...

I'm the bride, and that I say you can.

Okay, I'll be back as soon as I can.

Perfect.

Okay.

What just happened?

I just gave my best friend a chance at having what we have.

What is it? Are you all right? I got here as fast as I could.

Am I the sort of guy who always needs to be the center of attention?

What?

My sister more or less accused me of that, and then she walked out on me.

That's the emergency?

I thought something happened to you.

I needed to tell someone.

You were the person that I thought of.

In the middle of my best friend's wedding?

That was tonight, wasn't it? You look great.

I told you I had this wedding, but, obviously, you weren't listening.

No, no, I was listening. I forgot...

Don't you know that weddings are sacred?

Rushing here to listen to you whine about something your sister said

is not what I would call an emergency!

I wouldn't exactly say I was whining...

I've been at your beck and call for the last five weeks.

The least that you could do

is take care of yourself for one lousy night.

It's pathetic!

You can barely know how to program your DVR

for your own stupid football games,

you wouldn't know what to do day-to-day without somebody telling you,

and I'll bet you don't even know

what the inside of a grocery store looks like.

Is there anything that you can do for yourself?

This.

Morning.

Good morning.

- Did you want some coffee? - Want me to make coffee?

Yeah.

Coffee.

Yeah.

I think we should... Talk about that kiss last night.

Yeah, you're right, we should.

I know that was really unprofessional of me.

But...

God...

It probably broke every rule in your handbook.

I did kiss you back.

Yeah.

I want you to know that...

I... I wanted to say...

- Should I get that? - Get Knute. I'll get the door.

Stay, stay!

Buongiorno!

Did you miss me, sweetie? How's your knee?

You mean my ankle?

You know what I meant.

Honey, can you put the dog in the other room?

Danny and I have a lot to catch up on.

I'll take her out for a walk.

Honey...

I owe you an apology, for the way I behaved

that last night we were together.

I hope you're not mad at me.

No, you know what, it really wasn't a big deal.

I'm so glad.

Who am I kidding? I can't compete with her.

Okay, can we do this later? Because I... Yeah...

I have to get to practice, and it's a really busy day, so...

- Can we... - Okay, sure.

Yeah, okay.

- Hey, let me help you. - Thanks.

By the way, congratulations on the game.

Thank you.

It was exciting to see you make that last pass.

I'm glad you were watching.

I wouldn't have missed it.

Yeah, you guys are holding up this game, though, so if you don't mind...

Do you guys need anything else before I leave?

Yeah, I could use another beer.

She's not your servant. You've got legs.

You can go get it yourself, man.

What's wrong with you?

I guess we're taking a break?

All right, then, I'll just say good night.

- Bye. - Oh, by the way...

My wife loved the jersey.

Could you make one for my daughter?

- Absolutely. - Perfect. Thank you.

Hey, I wonder if you could make me one of those jerseys, too?

Not for me, for a friend.

A female friend.

- I'd be happy to. - Perfect.

- See you. - Bye.

- Talk to you for a second? - Yeah, sure.

It's about this girl that I'm seeing and... I'm pretty crazy about her.

Yeah, you know,

I'd rather you didn't give me the details.

I don't need to hear them.

Just trying to be honest with you.

You are, and... You're adults,

you're free to date whoever you want.

So, you already know? She told you?

No, she didn't tell me.

- I kind of figured it out. - And...

You're okay with that?

I shouldn't have objected in the first place.

You've got the ball, you might as well run with it.

That's a good metaphor.

Come on, let's play some cards.

Well, hello, Princess. Let's go meet daddy.

Daddy?

Now, this is what you call a dog.

Isn't she a cutie? I bought her yesterday.

I thought she would make a great companion for Knute.

Seriously?

Guys, can we lose the dog, please?

Patty, dear!

Would you mind?

Thank you.

Okay, here we go. Okay, guys, ready to do this?

So...

I'm thinking next Tuesday at 4:00 to actually move in.

Hunter's got a Botox appointment,

so that should give me a couple of hours.

So does that work for you?

You love each other?

Pretend, pretend...

Laurel, does next Tuesday work for you?

Sorry.

Yeah. That's fine.

Yeah, there you go, nice.

Express yourself, Danny. Nice. Very nice.

Thanks, Doc. Thank you. Thank you.

Doc cleared me to play!

I gotta call coach.

Hey, you need someone to win you the game next week?

Yeah, 100% cleared...

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow at practice.

- That's great news, Danny. - Yeah.

Yeah, it's the best.

Hey, Ned. Yeah.

Guess who's cleared to play.

Yes!

- What? - Danny... he's back!

I need you to get a press release ready.

Call "The Chronicle," call the networks,

and everybody at Nike!

Black 19! Black 19! Said hut, hut!

Okay, I'm all set.

Congratulations again, son.

Thanks, dad, but remember, we're just celebrating my recovery.

It's not like I won the championship.

Let's call it a celebration

for the game you're going to win this Sunday.

Where would you like to go?

No, where would you like to go? It's on me.

- I sort of owe you an apology. - For what?

I've been a bit of a jerk for the last few weeks,

and I know I haven't been very responsive.

You know what, no apologies needed.

Where's Ava? She's not coming?

No, no, she's got a date tonight.

Oh, Laurel, you're going to join us, aren't you?

Thanks, but I'd better not.

I'm sure Danny will give you the night off, won't he?

It's fine with me.

I've got so much work to do.

But have a great night.

Okay.

- Bye, sweetie. - Bye.

Hello!

Hey, Ned, look,

I need you to line me up a new assistant,

and this time, make sure it's a guy.

What?

I'm sorry, I don't get it. What happened to Laurel?

I thought you liked her.

I do like her.

I mean, I don't like her in a non-professional way,

but I'd be more comfortable having a guy around.

Okay. Whatever.

- I'll call the Agency. Again. - Thanks.

Yeah, sorry, pal.

I know you'll miss her, but it's just too hard seeing her every day,

knowing she's with my best friend.

Good morning.

That's for you, on the table.

What's this for?

I guess you could say it's severance pay.

I hope it's enough.

I don't get it. Am I fired?

Not fired, but I am going to have to let you go.

- Did I do something wrong? - No...

But if you remember our agreement,

I said that you could stay until I was cleared to play.

Oh, right. I did agree to that, didn't I?

And now that I'm playing,

I'd just rather have a guy in the locker room and everything.

I understand.

- I'm really sorry. - It's okay.

And you really did give me a chance when I needed it.

I'm glad you understand.

If you ever need someone to take care of Knute, let me know.

Right.

What are you doing home in the middle of the day?

I got fired.

I mean, let go.

What?

It came as a surprise to me, too.

Okay, what happened?

Nothing.

It just so happens that I'm a girl.

That's what I thought he liked about you.

What are you talking about?

Maybe I was wrong,

but I thought you and Danny broke rule number one.

We almost did, but then we didn't.

Then why did he break up with Hunter?

He did? When?

A few days ago.

She's already moved on to some soccer player.

Then that just proves that he's not interested in me.

Now that he's free, he could have asked me out.

Somehow I feel like this is all my fault.

No, it's my fault.

I was dumb enough to think that there could actually be something

between me and Danny.

You sure it isn't too painful being here?

It's fine. I needed to get out.

I have no interest in watching the game, though.

- How about some buffalo wings? - Thanks, but I'm not very hungry.

Tell me more about your honeymoon.

Well, we went to one football game

and then we watched a couple on TV.

Did you take a carriage ride through the park

like we always said we would?

Second night there.

- That must've been so romantic. - It was.

What about you?

At least you have that severance check

to tide you over for a while.

I sent it back.

Why?

It didn't feel right keeping it.

I decided to focus

on the one thing that I'm truly passionate about.

And no more settling for the sidelines.

What does that mean?

Nothing.

I'm going to get another drink. Do you want one?

No, I'm fine. Thanks.

Hey, Laurel, did you see that?

Danny just threw the winning touchdown.

Shawn...

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to throw salt on the wound.

That's okay.

Look, as much as I love Danny Holland, I'll always be on your side.

Thanks.

Will you tell Gina I will call her tomorrow?

Sure thing.

Yes, Danny!

Thanks for meeting me.

I wanted to give you the final guest list before the party.

Thank you.

I still don't understand why you're not working for Danny anymore.

I'd... rather not discuss it.

Okay. Then I won't pry.

I admire your professionalism.

- I sure am going to miss you. - And I'll miss all of you.

Do you have any idea what you're going to do next?

Well...

I have this crazy idea, but it's probably too ambitious.

How do you know unless you try?

You know those jerseys I made for some of the players' wives?

Everyone says I should try and do something with them,

but I'd have to get the licensing rights,

which I'm sure I could never afford.

I don't think that's crazy at all.

I think you should follow your passion.

Danny did that, and he never, ever gave up, no matter what.

Do you have any more of that guacamole?

That was good stuff.

Laurel made that herself, so, no, we don't have any of that tonight.

And, did she leave any of those cookies she made?

No.

It sure was nice having Laurel around.

Yeah, well, she's not here, and she's not coming back,

so can we just focus on the game?

So, Lucas...

Word has it you have a girlfriend.

Oh, yeah? Who is she?

Guys, are you gossips all of a sudden?

We're curious, that's all.

If he doesn't want to talk about it, that's his business.

- She must be pretty special. - Yeah, she's great.

Come on, guys,

do you want to talk about girls, or do you want to play some cards?

Let's play some cards.

Night.

My mom and dad were...

Okay, I will. Good to see you.

Hi, guys. Thanks for coming.

You're a sharp-dressed man, Danny.

You look really nice.

You too, you too. You dress yourself? I like this.

Hi. Would you excuse us?

I haven't danced with my brother all evening.

That is a dress.

I owe you an apology.

Sorry for the things I said while we had dinner.

- I was out of line. - No, you weren't.

I know there are times I can be pretty self-absorbed.

And I know it's not always easy being my sister.

I wouldn't want to be anyone else's.

When I see mom and dad like that,

I think that's what love should be.

Not everyone can be that lucky.

I've been thinking, and...

I want you to make the speech tonight.

Even though I accused you of stealing the spotlight.

The truth is, you're better at making speeches.

Look, I... I haven't written anything down.

I don't know what to say.

Just...

Say how you feel.

Hey, sorry I'm late, but may I cut in?

Sure.

Hi.

How lucky am I?

- You look handsome. - I feel like James Bond.

What do you think you're doing!

- What about Laurel? - What are you talking about?

Yeah. Danny, you've been acting a little strange lately.

- Aren't you seeing Laurel? - What? No. No.

No, I... I've been seeing Ava.

I've been trying to tell you that for a few weeks,

but you said you already knew.

That's the cue for the speech.

Yeah.

Good luck up there.

Thank you all for sharing this wonderful evening with us.

My big brother, Danny, would like to say a few words.

A lot of people think that I'm the sort of guy

who only thinks about football, which is only partially true...

...because tonight all I can think about

is how lucky I am to have such amazing parents.

These two have given me and Ava

all the love and support

that any two kids could ever want,

and they still had enough left over for each other.

They inspired us

to want the same type of relationship that they've shared for...

For 35 years.

One built on respect, and understanding,

and passion.

But supposedly, it wasn't always that way.

I don't know if many of you know,

but when they first met, they couldn't stand each other.

It's true.

But dad told me that

that was just a defense on his part, because...

He thought she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.

She still is.

I guess it only goes to show how...

How wrong we can be about someone the first time we meet them.

And, luckily, dad wasn't dumb enough to let her get away.

To mom and dad...

I love you guys.

Cheers.

Cheers.

- I love you. - I love you, too.

- That was beautiful, Danny. - Yeah, I meant every word of it.

You know, sometimes, the right person is right in front of you,

and you just don't notice.

Is this your subtle way of trying to tell me something?

Well, it's true that your dad and I

didn't really like each other at the beginning,

but I didn't have the disadvantage of having to work for him.

Yeah, mom I don't think it much matters.

She probably hates me.

I would be willing to bet that she doesn't.

You're not going to stand around on the sidelines...

Thanks.

- You don't mind if I bail, do you? - No.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to recover a fumble...

And go for a touchdown.

That's my boy.

This round is on me.

- I'm so happy for you! - Thanks.

Why aren't you more excited?

I am. I think it just hasn't sunk in yet.

Oh, yeah, okay. What is wrong with you?

You just booked an amazing merchandising deal

with a major league football team.

I'd be dancing on the tables.

Couple more glasses of wine, and I will.

All right.

Is that...?

I liberated both of us from Hunter.

I decided I didn't like the job after all.

Besides, she is not what you would call a responsible pet owner.

I hope you don't mind having an additional roommate.

No. I miss having a dog around.

Hello?

Gina, this is Danny Holland.

Okay, I didn't see that coming. What can I do for you?

I have to find Laurel.

I need to tell her something in person, not on the phone.

- Do you know where she is? - I do, but why should I tell you?

Because I need to tell her that I'm in love with her.

Okay, well,

here's the deal. I want season tickets,

you'll watch Sports Center with my husband once a month,

you will be his first patient when he opens his dental practice,

and most importantly, you will never tell him about this conversation.

Deal.

- Yeah, I'm good. - You should be.

You've been acting very strange since I got back to this bar.

It's Danny Holland.

I left my parents' party tonight because of you.

It was a great party, by the way.

Except you weren't there.

I know things got all...

...complicated,

and...

I pushed you away.

But the truth is...

I am crazy in love with you.

Is that what you would call a Hail Mary?

Hey, you do know something about football.

Not really.

Just one football player.

And I'm crazy in love with him.

Touchdown!

WebRip-Fixes-Sync VaVooM