All language subtitles for Kidding.S01E02.WEBRip.x264-ION10-eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian Download
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew Download
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian Download
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal) Download
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian Download
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian Download
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,679 --> 00:00:06,388 [Ennui] Previously on Kidding... 2 00:00:06,471 --> 00:00:07,804 I want do a show about death. 3 00:00:07,887 --> 00:00:10,221 I don't think you're ready to talk about that. 4 00:00:10,304 --> 00:00:12,221 What are you doing here? 5 00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:13,679 [Will] She did not leave you because Phil died. 6 00:00:13,762 --> 00:00:15,137 She left you because you're a pussy. 7 00:00:15,221 --> 00:00:16,179 Do you think I should get an apartment 8 00:00:16,263 --> 00:00:17,221 closer to the house? 9 00:00:17,304 --> 00:00:18,679 [humming] 10 00:00:18,762 --> 00:00:20,679 [sighs] 11 00:00:20,762 --> 00:00:22,137 - P-Hound. - Yeah. 12 00:00:22,221 --> 00:00:24,179 [Jeff] What does the P stand for? 13 00:00:24,263 --> 00:00:26,929 [bees buzzing] 14 00:00:27,012 --> 00:00:31,054 [Seb] Jeff needs to heal. Mr. Pickles is fine. 15 00:00:31,137 --> 00:00:32,762 [Joanne] So what do you think? 16 00:00:32,845 --> 00:00:34,179 [Jeff] It's perfect. 17 00:00:34,263 --> 00:00:37,137 ♪ disquieting music ♪ 18 00:00:43,762 --> 00:00:44,720 [engine turning over] 19 00:00:48,513 --> 00:00:49,637 [tool whirring, metal squeaking] 20 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:51,054 [metal clangs] 21 00:00:51,137 --> 00:00:51,971 [tool cranking] 22 00:00:54,971 --> 00:00:56,096 [grunts] 23 00:00:57,388 --> 00:00:58,679 [chuckles] 24 00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:04,388 [strums strings] 25 00:01:04,471 --> 00:01:07,762 speaking Spanish 26 00:01:07,845 --> 00:01:09,845 Es Uke-Larry... 27 00:01:11,179 --> 00:01:12,845 speaking Spanish 28 00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:20,679 speaking Spanish 29 00:01:23,346 --> 00:01:26,137 No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 30 00:01:27,637 --> 00:01:30,762 [metal squeaking, tools whirring] 31 00:01:38,304 --> 00:01:41,221 ♪ tranquil music ♪ 32 00:01:41,304 --> 00:01:43,720 [car chirps] 33 00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:48,887 ♪♪♪ 34 00:02:04,929 --> 00:02:07,096 [straining] 35 00:02:07,179 --> 00:02:10,054 ♪ light piano rag ♪ 36 00:02:10,637 --> 00:02:12,679 [sighs] 37 00:02:12,762 --> 00:02:15,137 Did you ever feel like there's nothing to do? 38 00:02:15,221 --> 00:02:16,971 Well, 39 00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:19,388 that's how Ennui Le Triste is feeling right now. 40 00:02:19,471 --> 00:02:22,471 ♪♪♪ 41 00:02:22,554 --> 00:02:24,595 Let's take a trip to Pickle Barrel Falls 42 00:02:24,679 --> 00:02:26,554 and see if we can help. 43 00:02:26,637 --> 00:02:31,762 ♪♪♪ 44 00:02:32,471 --> 00:02:33,971 See you at the bottom. 45 00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:36,929 ♪ jaunty piano rag ♪ 46 00:02:37,012 --> 00:02:39,012 ♪♪♪ 47 00:02:39,096 --> 00:02:41,720 [light humming] 48 00:02:41,804 --> 00:02:46,929 ♪♪♪ 49 00:02:47,762 --> 00:02:51,304 Whoa. 50 00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,179 Bonjour, Ennui! 51 00:02:53,263 --> 00:02:55,012 speaking French 52 00:02:55,096 --> 00:02:58,096 Crusty, as usual. 53 00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:00,429 Bored, bored, bored! 54 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:03,554 - [Ennui] Everything that I... - They're gonna laugh at me. 55 00:03:03,637 --> 00:03:05,595 [Ennui] I've already done before. 56 00:03:05,679 --> 00:03:07,971 Well, if they laugh at you... 57 00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:10,179 they're gonna get a real kick out of me. 58 00:03:10,263 --> 00:03:12,304 [Jeff] I'm sure we can think of something. 59 00:03:12,388 --> 00:03:14,054 I mean, just think of all the toys you have at home. 60 00:03:14,137 --> 00:03:18,221 [Tanner] How did you get out of the television? 61 00:03:18,304 --> 00:03:20,845 [sighs] 62 00:03:20,929 --> 00:03:23,845 Actually, the hard part isn't getting out. 63 00:03:23,929 --> 00:03:26,221 It's getting back in. 64 00:03:26,304 --> 00:03:28,388 [Jeff] You want to touch my head? 65 00:03:29,929 --> 00:03:31,762 Dare you. 66 00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:33,471 Eww, creepy! 67 00:03:33,554 --> 00:03:34,637 [laughs] 68 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:36,429 [Jeff] Can I touch yours? 69 00:03:36,513 --> 00:03:37,845 Let me see yours. 70 00:03:37,929 --> 00:03:39,845 Oh, dude, that's so cool! 71 00:03:39,929 --> 00:03:42,137 You got a fade going. 72 00:03:42,221 --> 00:03:44,929 That's really neat. 73 00:03:45,012 --> 00:03:47,221 That's my best friend in the whole world 74 00:03:47,304 --> 00:03:48,637 in the doorway. 75 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,513 Does she look excited to see me? 76 00:03:51,595 --> 00:03:52,971 [Tanner] No. 77 00:03:53,054 --> 00:03:54,971 Hey. 78 00:03:55,054 --> 00:03:56,971 I don't want you to be nervous, 79 00:03:57,054 --> 00:03:59,845 but tomorrow, there's gonna be a lot of Jell-O. 80 00:03:59,929 --> 00:04:01,929 I hope you can handle it. 81 00:04:06,804 --> 00:04:07,595 [laughs] 82 00:04:07,679 --> 00:04:08,929 [mutters] 83 00:04:11,179 --> 00:04:13,554 Mom, 84 00:04:13,637 --> 00:04:17,388 I think Mr. Pickles has brain cancer too. 85 00:04:17,471 --> 00:04:20,346 ♪ gentle music ♪ 86 00:04:20,429 --> 00:04:25,388 ♪♪♪ 87 00:04:27,804 --> 00:04:30,679 Who's the man in your life that isn't me? 88 00:04:30,762 --> 00:04:32,012 What happened to your hair? 89 00:04:32,096 --> 00:04:33,971 How long have you been seeing him? 90 00:04:34,054 --> 00:04:35,804 We've been together a couple months. 91 00:04:35,887 --> 00:04:37,762 - It's casual. - I think Will 92 00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:39,388 should stay at my house one more night a week. 93 00:04:39,471 --> 00:04:42,304 I think one night a week is working. 94 00:04:42,388 --> 00:04:45,554 I want healthy decisions for us, not casual ones. 95 00:04:45,637 --> 00:04:47,263 It's very soon to let a man into our home, 96 00:04:47,346 --> 00:04:50,845 into Phil's home--Will's home. Sheesh. 97 00:04:50,929 --> 00:04:52,554 Actually, it's good that you're here, 98 00:04:52,637 --> 00:04:54,346 to have a conversation about setting boundaries. 99 00:04:54,429 --> 00:04:56,388 You mean distance? 100 00:04:56,471 --> 00:04:59,929 [sighs] I found out what the P in P-Hound stands for. 101 00:05:00,012 --> 00:05:02,096 Now every time I see the letter P, 102 00:05:02,179 --> 00:05:04,971 I think of the word "pussy," and it haunts my head. 103 00:05:05,054 --> 00:05:07,637 I used to call Phil "my little P-nugget," 104 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:09,346 and now I hear "pussy-nugget," 105 00:05:09,429 --> 00:05:12,179 and I can't call him that in my daydreams anymore. 106 00:05:12,263 --> 00:05:13,637 You can set boundaries too. 107 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,054 Like our shared checking account. 108 00:05:15,137 --> 00:05:17,304 I'm gonna ask you if I can buy a new car, 109 00:05:17,388 --> 00:05:19,429 - and you can say no. - Why do you need a new car? 110 00:05:19,513 --> 00:05:21,804 I'd like to not drive the same model minivan 111 00:05:21,887 --> 00:05:23,595 the insurance company coughed up, 112 00:05:23,679 --> 00:05:25,054 and I'm done pretending that there isn't money 113 00:05:25,137 --> 00:05:28,179 to spend on myself. 114 00:05:28,263 --> 00:05:29,804 You should get whatever 115 00:05:29,887 --> 00:05:31,513 makes you and Will comfortable. 116 00:05:31,595 --> 00:05:34,513 Thanks. Thank you. 117 00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,637 Maybe I'll come over later, 118 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,971 meet your new guy. 119 00:05:41,054 --> 00:05:43,137 I'll make one of those sour cream-blueberry pies 120 00:05:43,221 --> 00:05:44,804 that I make that you like. 121 00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:48,012 - No! - Anyway... 122 00:05:48,096 --> 00:05:50,137 Good luck with all your new decisions. 123 00:05:50,221 --> 00:05:53,263 Did you really shave your head for that kid? 124 00:05:53,346 --> 00:05:55,137 No, silly. 125 00:05:58,096 --> 00:06:00,096 Is there a way to tell if, you know, somebody's gay? 126 00:06:00,179 --> 00:06:02,221 - [Clay] Course you can. - How? 127 00:06:02,304 --> 00:06:03,513 You just ask them. I mean, 128 00:06:03,595 --> 00:06:04,929 I would say hello first. 129 00:06:05,012 --> 00:06:07,179 [Clay] Yeah. Turn them upside down. 130 00:06:07,263 --> 00:06:08,804 [Clay] If they curl up into a ball, they're gay. 131 00:06:08,887 --> 00:06:10,346 [laughter] 132 00:06:10,429 --> 00:06:12,845 Hi, everybody. 133 00:06:12,929 --> 00:06:15,554 ♪ quiet waltz music ♪ 134 00:06:15,637 --> 00:06:17,762 Fuck. 135 00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:19,845 [Clay] What--what's happening? 136 00:06:19,929 --> 00:06:21,595 I'm confused. 137 00:06:21,679 --> 00:06:24,137 W-where were you that there were so many bees? 138 00:06:24,221 --> 00:06:26,179 ♪♪♪ 139 00:06:26,263 --> 00:06:28,845 Can you give us a second, Derrell? 140 00:06:28,929 --> 00:06:32,637 Oh, my God. 141 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,720 What happened to your face? 142 00:06:34,804 --> 00:06:36,929 What happened to yourself? 143 00:06:37,012 --> 00:06:39,012 I thought we could make this a season 144 00:06:39,096 --> 00:06:41,263 about things that are missing, like hair. 145 00:06:41,346 --> 00:06:42,971 Oh. 146 00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:44,804 We can impart the idea that change 147 00:06:44,887 --> 00:06:46,513 is a good thing. It's okay. 148 00:06:46,595 --> 00:06:48,554 Who we are is so much greater 149 00:06:48,637 --> 00:06:50,513 than what happens to us. 150 00:06:50,595 --> 00:06:52,263 ♪♪♪ 151 00:06:52,346 --> 00:06:54,887 And for the last show, 152 00:06:54,971 --> 00:06:58,554 we take the death episode off the shelf, 153 00:06:58,637 --> 00:07:02,096 and we air it, 154 00:07:02,179 --> 00:07:06,429 and we say, "This happened! 155 00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:08,304 And I'm still me." 156 00:07:08,388 --> 00:07:11,429 You look like you are about to climb a Texas tower 157 00:07:11,513 --> 00:07:13,720 - and shoot people. - Don't say that. 158 00:07:13,804 --> 00:07:15,304 You look like Lee Harvey Oswald's 159 00:07:15,388 --> 00:07:17,304 creative younger brother. 160 00:07:17,388 --> 00:07:19,804 You look like Shooty the Clown. 161 00:07:19,887 --> 00:07:22,762 I am the Pope in a Speedo. 162 00:07:22,845 --> 00:07:24,929 I am the Oreo cookie without its creamy center, 163 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:27,845 but if you dip me in milk, I'm still a mouthful of yummy. 164 00:07:27,929 --> 00:07:30,346 The affiliate stations air us out of order. 165 00:07:30,429 --> 00:07:32,471 Don't you think it's gonna be just a little confusing 166 00:07:32,554 --> 00:07:36,221 for the children when one day, Jeff Pickles has hair, 167 00:07:36,304 --> 00:07:38,137 and the next day, he's paved a sidewalk 168 00:07:38,221 --> 00:07:40,304 down the center of his head? 169 00:07:40,388 --> 00:07:42,720 I don't care. 170 00:07:42,804 --> 00:07:44,929 They can air it out of order. 171 00:07:45,012 --> 00:07:46,887 PBS is gonna get the impression 172 00:07:46,971 --> 00:07:49,720 that you are mentally unfortified. 173 00:07:49,804 --> 00:07:52,179 Please, don't put me in this position 174 00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:53,720 with the network. 175 00:07:53,804 --> 00:07:55,762 They're gonna shelve us for six weeks 176 00:07:55,845 --> 00:07:57,346 while your hair grows back. 177 00:07:57,429 --> 00:08:00,887 Think of all the people you'll put out of work. 178 00:08:00,971 --> 00:08:02,637 [Amika] We call it a Tiger Stripe. 179 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,471 [Jeff] Ah. 180 00:08:04,554 --> 00:08:06,137 Where does it come from? 181 00:08:06,221 --> 00:08:08,637 Russian women with very few opportunities. 182 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,221 How's that look, Mr. P.? 183 00:08:11,304 --> 00:08:13,762 Really wish you wouldn't call me that. 184 00:08:13,845 --> 00:08:16,887 Just Jeff. Jeff is fine. 185 00:08:16,971 --> 00:08:19,429 Don't go anywhere, Jeff. 186 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,595 [Seb] We're strong men. 187 00:08:26,679 --> 00:08:28,595 We keep the struggle inside. 188 00:08:28,679 --> 00:08:30,554 You had an off day. 189 00:08:30,637 --> 00:08:33,971 When Amika's done, no one will be able to see you're slipping. 190 00:08:34,054 --> 00:08:36,971 [Seb] That's a secret I'll keep between us. 191 00:08:37,054 --> 00:08:39,637 I bought the house next to Jill's. 192 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,804 And why would you do that? 193 00:08:42,887 --> 00:08:45,012 They need me, 194 00:08:45,096 --> 00:08:47,096 even if they don't know they need me. 195 00:08:47,179 --> 00:08:49,346 Jill has a black hole inside her. 196 00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:51,845 It's swallowing her sunshine. 197 00:08:51,929 --> 00:08:54,388 She's trying to fill it with red wine and penises, 198 00:08:54,471 --> 00:08:57,637 and Will's smoking reefer like a jazz musician. 199 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:01,679 He has no one to open up to. No healthy friends. 200 00:09:01,762 --> 00:09:03,762 If he doesn't have me to share his inner life with, 201 00:09:03,845 --> 00:09:05,637 his imagination could die. 202 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,720 Did you tell them you did this? 203 00:09:07,804 --> 00:09:09,762 I'm sure it'll be odd at first, 204 00:09:09,845 --> 00:09:12,304 but when I show up, knock on the door, 205 00:09:12,388 --> 00:09:14,554 with my blueberry- sour cream pie, 206 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,429 and I say, "Hey, friends. 207 00:09:16,513 --> 00:09:18,429 I'm your new neighbor," 208 00:09:18,513 --> 00:09:19,804 we'll find our footing. 209 00:09:19,887 --> 00:09:21,012 And you don't think they'll 210 00:09:21,096 --> 00:09:23,137 see all that as just... 211 00:09:23,221 --> 00:09:24,887 a little bit aggressive? 212 00:09:24,971 --> 00:09:27,845 I saw Jill hugging another man, 213 00:09:27,929 --> 00:09:29,595 or he was hugging her. 214 00:09:29,679 --> 00:09:31,804 [Seb] You mean fucking. 215 00:09:31,887 --> 00:09:34,471 No. Regular hugging. 216 00:09:34,554 --> 00:09:36,845 [Seb] Oh, I'm sorry. 217 00:09:36,929 --> 00:09:38,804 Is it serious? 218 00:09:38,887 --> 00:09:40,595 I don't know. 219 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:42,471 I don't think so. 220 00:09:42,554 --> 00:09:43,595 How could it be? 221 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:46,137 [gasping] 222 00:09:46,221 --> 00:09:49,179 ♪ disquieting music ♪ 223 00:09:49,263 --> 00:09:54,346 ♪♪♪ 224 00:10:35,471 --> 00:10:38,637 Mr. Piccirillo, you forgot the extra credit. 225 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:41,388 I don't think freshmen are allowed off-campus lunch. 226 00:10:41,471 --> 00:10:45,304 I told you, I got you. 227 00:10:45,388 --> 00:10:46,554 Get in. 228 00:10:46,637 --> 00:10:48,263 All right. 229 00:10:50,054 --> 00:10:53,179 [laughter] 230 00:10:54,929 --> 00:10:56,971 Smoke up. 231 00:10:57,054 --> 00:10:59,471 My brother grew this in his laundry room. 232 00:10:59,554 --> 00:11:02,804 Hey, give me your phone. 233 00:11:02,887 --> 00:11:06,179 If we're gonna hang out later, I should put my number in it. 234 00:11:06,263 --> 00:11:08,971 Dude, is that really your phone? 235 00:11:09,054 --> 00:11:11,595 [Will] You should see our answering machine. 236 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:14,388 Has two little tapes in it. 237 00:11:14,471 --> 00:11:16,513 [laughter] 238 00:11:26,513 --> 00:11:28,762 Uh... William? 239 00:11:48,054 --> 00:11:50,971 ♪ foreboding music ♪ 240 00:11:51,054 --> 00:11:56,137 ♪♪♪ 241 00:11:57,429 --> 00:12:00,845 What did the Secret Chef hide in your dessert? 242 00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:03,388 I had rutabagas in my brownies. 243 00:12:03,471 --> 00:12:05,137 I thought they were chocolate chips, but... 244 00:12:05,221 --> 00:12:07,887 I was pleasantly deceived. 245 00:12:07,971 --> 00:12:11,012 If Jill finds out you bought the house next to her, 246 00:12:11,096 --> 00:12:15,221 she'll move, and she'll never talk to you again, 247 00:12:15,304 --> 00:12:18,388 and she'll take Will and leave. 248 00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,804 I don't know how to love from a distance. 249 00:12:20,887 --> 00:12:22,304 ♪♪♪ 250 00:12:22,388 --> 00:12:25,012 Jeffy. 251 00:12:25,096 --> 00:12:27,513 I forgot to do a crust. 252 00:12:52,054 --> 00:12:54,221 [clears throat] 253 00:12:54,304 --> 00:12:56,971 [zipping] 254 00:13:08,346 --> 00:13:11,471 [light humming] 255 00:13:14,263 --> 00:13:17,221 ♪ disquieting music ♪ 256 00:13:17,304 --> 00:13:18,720 ♪♪♪ 257 00:13:18,804 --> 00:13:21,887 [whistling] 258 00:13:21,971 --> 00:13:26,929 ♪♪♪ 259 00:13:28,762 --> 00:13:33,929 [humming] 260 00:13:34,012 --> 00:13:38,887 ♪♪♪ 261 00:13:58,429 --> 00:13:59,720 Ooh! Shh. 262 00:13:59,804 --> 00:14:04,679 ♪♪♪ 263 00:15:27,096 --> 00:15:29,513 [Jeff] "From 'pusillanimous,' 264 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,554 showing a lack of courage or determination." 265 00:15:49,595 --> 00:15:53,096 [plucking strings] 266 00:15:53,179 --> 00:15:56,554 [strums chord] 267 00:15:56,637 --> 00:15:59,513 [rising] ♪ What do you do, what do you do ♪ 268 00:15:59,595 --> 00:16:02,804 ♪ What do you do ♪ 269 00:16:02,887 --> 00:16:04,595 ♪ What do you do, what do you do ♪ 270 00:16:04,679 --> 00:16:07,971 ♪ What do you do ♪ 271 00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:15,012 Maddy, piano time! 272 00:16:15,096 --> 00:16:16,554 I'll take her. 273 00:16:16,637 --> 00:16:19,304 [piano music] 274 00:16:19,388 --> 00:16:21,304 [Chuckie] Want me to stop, Mr. Farpopolis? 275 00:16:21,388 --> 00:16:23,137 - No. Keep going, Chuckie. - [Chuckie singing] 276 00:16:23,221 --> 00:16:24,804 Yeah, sorry. I know I'm early. 277 00:16:24,887 --> 00:16:26,637 I-I was hoping you and I could go somewhere 278 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,263 - and talk for a second. - No vocals, Chuckie. 279 00:16:29,346 --> 00:16:31,971 Sorry, Mr. Farpopolis. 280 00:16:32,054 --> 00:16:34,971 He's always adding vocals. I can take her, Deirdre. 281 00:16:35,054 --> 00:16:37,263 - Oh, I-- - Come in. 282 00:16:37,346 --> 00:16:39,012 - Just--can we, uh-- - [Chuckie singing] 283 00:16:39,096 --> 00:16:40,595 Chuckie! 284 00:16:40,679 --> 00:16:42,762 Okay, never mind. It's nothing. 285 00:16:42,845 --> 00:16:45,471 Have fun--eh, learn. 286 00:16:45,554 --> 00:16:46,971 Aren't you coming, Mom? 287 00:16:47,054 --> 00:16:48,804 ♪♪♪ 288 00:16:48,887 --> 00:16:50,388 Inside? 289 00:16:50,471 --> 00:16:51,762 Daddy always waits upstairs. 290 00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,971 Oh, he does? Oh. 291 00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:55,929 [Deirdre] For the whole lesson? [Maddy] Yeah, they both do. 292 00:16:56,012 --> 00:17:00,054 Daddy's always yelling, "Play louder, so Daddy can hear you." 293 00:17:00,137 --> 00:17:02,595 [Deirdre] Oh, huh. 294 00:17:02,679 --> 00:17:07,762 ♪♪♪ 295 00:17:08,263 --> 00:17:11,429 [Maddy] ♪ Don't go chasing waterfalls ♪ 296 00:17:11,513 --> 00:17:13,346 No vocals, Maddy. 297 00:17:13,429 --> 00:17:15,637 ♪♪♪ 298 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,595 Did you hand-fuck my husband? 299 00:17:17,679 --> 00:17:20,845 ♪♪♪ 300 00:17:20,929 --> 00:17:22,971 So what's your second favorite instrument? 301 00:17:24,637 --> 00:17:27,346 ♪ What do you do, what do you do ♪ 302 00:17:27,429 --> 00:17:29,179 ♪ What do you do ♪ 303 00:17:29,263 --> 00:17:31,179 Maestro Pimento Fermata 304 00:17:31,263 --> 00:17:33,595 and the Pickle Nickel Choir. 305 00:17:33,679 --> 00:17:35,804 ♪ When it's time to make a choice ♪ 306 00:17:35,887 --> 00:17:37,971 ♪ Make the choice, make the choice ♪ 307 00:17:38,054 --> 00:17:39,929 ♪ When you haven't got a clue ♪ 308 00:17:40,012 --> 00:17:41,971 - ♪ What do you do? ♪ - ♪ What do you do? ♪ 309 00:17:42,054 --> 00:17:45,929 ♪ You only need to listen to the voice that's true ♪ 310 00:17:46,012 --> 00:17:48,887 - ♪ The voice that's true? ♪ - ♪ That little voice ♪ 311 00:17:48,971 --> 00:17:52,346 ♪ That's deep inside of you, hear the voice ♪ 312 00:17:52,429 --> 00:17:55,054 ♪ Make the choice, make the choice ♪ 313 00:17:55,137 --> 00:17:59,304 ♪ It'll say anything it wants and it will never go away ♪ 314 00:17:59,388 --> 00:18:03,720 ♪ And the harder you ignore it then the more it has to say ♪ 315 00:18:03,804 --> 00:18:06,054 ♪ You'll hear it get louder, louder, louder ♪ 316 00:18:06,137 --> 00:18:09,637 ♪ Louder, louder, louder, louder every day ♪ 317 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,304 ♪ The voice is here to stay ♪ 318 00:18:11,388 --> 00:18:12,513 [pickle] ♪ Mamma mia ♪ 319 00:18:46,637 --> 00:18:48,720 [sighs] 320 00:18:50,679 --> 00:18:52,804 We're in the middle of a meal. 321 00:18:54,637 --> 00:18:58,137 It's opulent. 322 00:18:58,221 --> 00:19:00,054 It's red. 323 00:19:00,137 --> 00:19:02,971 Red is such a look-at-me color. 324 00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:04,720 It's the safest car on the market. 325 00:19:04,804 --> 00:19:08,096 Hm. You know, 326 00:19:08,179 --> 00:19:10,429 if Will stayed over at my house one more night a week, 327 00:19:10,513 --> 00:19:14,137 I wouldn't have to be dropping by all the time. 328 00:19:14,221 --> 00:19:16,012 I'll think about it. 329 00:19:19,263 --> 00:19:21,429 Tell me one thing about him. 330 00:19:26,096 --> 00:19:27,637 His name is Peter. 331 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,263 Hm? 332 00:19:29,346 --> 00:19:31,137 He's an anesthesiologist. 333 00:19:31,221 --> 00:19:32,720 Mm. 334 00:19:32,804 --> 00:19:34,845 I guess that's... 335 00:19:34,929 --> 00:19:36,762 As long as he doesn't start bringing his work 336 00:19:36,845 --> 00:19:38,929 home with him. A lot of them do that. 337 00:19:40,762 --> 00:19:43,054 Tell me another thing. 338 00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:51,595 It looks good. 339 00:19:51,679 --> 00:19:53,804 I don't think anyone will know but me. 340 00:19:57,679 --> 00:19:59,637 I had a pie. 341 00:20:01,263 --> 00:20:03,012 Come on. 342 00:20:03,096 --> 00:20:05,971 ♪ Piano Concerto in A Minor by Edvard Grieg ♪ 343 00:20:06,054 --> 00:20:07,595 ♪♪♪ 344 00:20:07,679 --> 00:20:10,304 Who are you? 345 00:20:10,388 --> 00:20:12,637 - Jeff... - Could you be more specific? 346 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:14,429 A family lives in this house. 347 00:20:14,513 --> 00:20:17,221 That wasn't a... question. 348 00:20:17,304 --> 00:20:19,637 Maybe let's stick to the basics. 349 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,096 - Mm. - Is that pie on your shoe? 350 00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:25,263 Well, I don't want him to feel like he can't ask me things. 351 00:20:25,346 --> 00:20:28,346 Have you been married before, Peter? 352 00:20:28,429 --> 00:20:29,804 [Jill] Jeff, let him eat. 353 00:20:29,887 --> 00:20:31,679 [Peter] Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater. 354 00:20:31,762 --> 00:20:34,304 Had a wife, couldn't keep her. 355 00:20:34,388 --> 00:20:35,679 Right? Isn't that how it goes? 356 00:20:35,762 --> 00:20:37,263 Put her in a pumpkin shell, 357 00:20:37,346 --> 00:20:40,054 and there he kept her very well. 358 00:20:40,137 --> 00:20:43,554 The man in that poem is not a candidate for glory. 359 00:20:43,637 --> 00:20:45,096 It's a rhyme about abuse. 360 00:20:45,179 --> 00:20:47,388 Mm. I didn't know the rest of it. 361 00:20:47,471 --> 00:20:49,679 Had another, didn't love her. 362 00:20:49,762 --> 00:20:50,887 That's the next line. 363 00:20:50,971 --> 00:20:52,929 No, I don't think that-- 364 00:20:53,012 --> 00:20:54,554 How is that a bedtime story? 365 00:20:54,637 --> 00:20:56,471 King John 366 00:20:56,554 --> 00:20:58,720 had a friend he didn't like, 367 00:20:58,804 --> 00:21:00,971 and so he took that man's wife 368 00:21:01,054 --> 00:21:03,554 and he sealed her in a room with bricks 369 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:05,595 until she starved to death. 370 00:21:05,679 --> 00:21:08,263 In some versions, mice eat the woman, 371 00:21:08,346 --> 00:21:11,679 but that's neither here nor there. 372 00:21:11,762 --> 00:21:14,179 My mother used to read that to me. 373 00:21:14,263 --> 00:21:15,471 Now I question her motives. 374 00:21:15,554 --> 00:21:17,513 Early childhood neglect 375 00:21:17,595 --> 00:21:20,513 can lead to dysfunctional adult relationships. 376 00:21:20,595 --> 00:21:22,429 Are your parents still together, 377 00:21:22,513 --> 00:21:23,720 like Jill and I? 378 00:21:23,804 --> 00:21:26,595 ♪♪♪ 379 00:21:26,679 --> 00:21:29,012 Will, you're gonna... spend an extra night a week 380 00:21:29,096 --> 00:21:29,929 with your dad. 381 00:21:30,012 --> 00:21:31,263 Oh. 382 00:21:31,346 --> 00:21:33,887 That's a good thing. 383 00:21:39,513 --> 00:21:40,762 Hey. 384 00:21:40,845 --> 00:21:41,887 How long have you been sucking 385 00:21:41,971 --> 00:21:43,304 on those coffin nails? 386 00:21:43,388 --> 00:21:45,887 Yeah, actually, I've been 387 00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:49,012 meaning to quit. [clears throat] 388 00:21:55,221 --> 00:21:57,929 You ever had a vice or a guilty pleasure? 389 00:22:00,388 --> 00:22:03,346 Not like smoking, or adultery, 390 00:22:03,429 --> 00:22:05,971 or skulduggery, 391 00:22:06,054 --> 00:22:08,845 but... I have been known to... 392 00:22:08,929 --> 00:22:11,054 take a sip or two of chocolate syrup, 393 00:22:11,137 --> 00:22:13,179 straight out of the bottle. 394 00:22:13,263 --> 00:22:14,804 [laughs] 395 00:22:14,887 --> 00:22:16,429 [clears throat] Uh... 396 00:22:16,513 --> 00:22:18,637 Your vice is drinking Hershey's chocolate syrup? 397 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,929 No. 398 00:22:21,012 --> 00:22:23,388 Never have a coupon for Hershey's. 399 00:22:23,471 --> 00:22:25,346 Yeah, but I mean... 400 00:22:25,429 --> 00:22:27,804 You can afford name-brand syrup. 401 00:22:27,887 --> 00:22:29,971 I can afford a lot of things, 402 00:22:30,054 --> 00:22:32,096 but I only spend what I need, 403 00:22:32,179 --> 00:22:34,679 and the rest goes to people who need it more. 404 00:22:34,762 --> 00:22:37,471 Yeah. Totally. No, every month, 405 00:22:37,554 --> 00:22:39,179 I give $15 to NPR. 406 00:22:39,263 --> 00:22:42,513 They sent me an apron that says "NPR Apron." 407 00:22:42,595 --> 00:22:44,429 I like the name Peter. 408 00:22:44,513 --> 00:22:46,595 It's a good name. 409 00:22:46,679 --> 00:22:49,595 You know what? 410 00:22:49,679 --> 00:22:52,346 I'm gonna call you Big P. 411 00:22:52,429 --> 00:22:54,429 - [chuckles] - Would that be okay? 412 00:22:54,513 --> 00:22:55,929 Are you kidding me? Oh... 413 00:22:56,012 --> 00:22:57,595 Jeff Pickles just gave me a nickname. 414 00:22:57,679 --> 00:23:00,012 Oh, God. I feel like... 415 00:23:00,096 --> 00:23:02,096 Elvis just gave me a sequin. What can I call you? 416 00:23:02,179 --> 00:23:04,137 Jeff Pickles. 417 00:23:06,929 --> 00:23:09,637 Oh, sorry. I thought you had left. 418 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:11,929 Good night, Will. 419 00:23:17,054 --> 00:23:19,971 Good night, Big P. 420 00:23:20,054 --> 00:23:21,513 Can I ask you something? 421 00:23:21,595 --> 00:23:24,179 [Peter] Oh, yeah, man. What's up? 422 00:23:24,263 --> 00:23:26,929 [Will] What kind of mouthwash do girls like? 423 00:23:27,012 --> 00:23:29,845 [imitates metallic scraping sound] 424 00:23:29,929 --> 00:23:32,595 ♪ quiet melancholy music ♪ 425 00:23:32,679 --> 00:23:37,137 ♪♪♪ 426 00:23:37,221 --> 00:23:38,971 [sighs] 427 00:23:39,054 --> 00:23:44,179 ♪♪♪ 428 00:23:47,887 --> 00:23:49,971 What? 429 00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:55,221 ♪♪♪ 430 00:23:56,388 --> 00:23:58,720 Are... are you... 431 00:23:58,804 --> 00:24:03,346 ♪♪♪ 432 00:24:03,429 --> 00:24:05,887 I love you. 433 00:24:05,971 --> 00:24:11,054 ♪♪♪ 434 00:24:12,346 --> 00:24:14,096 [Astron-Otter crying] 435 00:24:14,179 --> 00:24:15,346 [Jeff] Oh, no! 436 00:24:15,429 --> 00:24:16,845 Astron-Otter? 437 00:24:16,929 --> 00:24:18,137 What's wrong? 438 00:24:18,221 --> 00:24:19,887 [agitated muttering] 439 00:24:19,971 --> 00:24:21,720 You're frustrated? About what? 440 00:24:21,804 --> 00:24:23,637 [agitated muttering] 441 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,887 Oh, she's frustrated 442 00:24:25,971 --> 00:24:28,429 because her rocket ship keeps falling over. 443 00:24:28,513 --> 00:24:32,263 I think her bam-boosters are misfiring. 444 00:24:32,346 --> 00:24:35,096 You know what I do when I'm frustrated? 445 00:24:35,179 --> 00:24:36,971 I take a calm-me-down breath. 446 00:24:37,054 --> 00:24:40,388 [breathes deeply] 447 00:24:40,471 --> 00:24:42,054 [inhales] 448 00:24:42,137 --> 00:24:44,137 [aggravated sigh] 449 00:24:44,221 --> 00:24:46,887 [agitated yelling] 450 00:24:46,971 --> 00:24:48,554 I think maybe she needs another calm-- 451 00:24:48,637 --> 00:24:51,554 All right, stop. 452 00:24:51,637 --> 00:24:54,137 Why do you keep doing that? 453 00:24:54,221 --> 00:24:56,179 - Stop. - Stop what? 454 00:24:56,263 --> 00:24:58,804 You keep calling Astron-Otter a she. 455 00:24:58,887 --> 00:25:01,346 Last time I checked, he was a he-otter. 456 00:25:01,429 --> 00:25:03,304 He was a he. Now she's a she. 457 00:25:03,388 --> 00:25:05,137 He's been a he for 20 years. 458 00:25:05,221 --> 00:25:07,096 You don't just wake up one day and call him a she. 459 00:25:07,179 --> 00:25:08,637 [Jeff] It happens every day. 460 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,595 It's happening to children all over the world. 461 00:25:14,679 --> 00:25:15,679 It's called gender fluidity. 462 00:25:15,762 --> 00:25:17,595 What? No. 463 00:25:17,679 --> 00:25:19,304 He's a he. 464 00:25:19,388 --> 00:25:22,388 Astron-Otter's Lunar Lander Power Wheel. 465 00:25:22,471 --> 00:25:24,096 - Hmm. - Astron-Otter's Moon 466 00:25:24,179 --> 00:25:26,221 Rock Space Fortress. 467 00:25:26,304 --> 00:25:30,429 Astron-Otter's My First Boxer Briefs 468 00:25:30,513 --> 00:25:32,179 with stain guard. 469 00:25:32,263 --> 00:25:33,679 He's a seven-figure line item 470 00:25:33,762 --> 00:25:35,012 marketed to boys. 471 00:25:35,096 --> 00:25:36,762 She has no discernible genitalia. 472 00:25:36,845 --> 00:25:39,595 I should fucking hope not. 473 00:25:39,679 --> 00:25:42,554 What an important thing to impart, 474 00:25:42,637 --> 00:25:45,179 that Astron-Otter could change overnight 475 00:25:45,263 --> 00:25:47,720 and still be the same otter. 476 00:25:47,804 --> 00:25:49,221 It's not a terrible idea. 477 00:25:49,304 --> 00:25:50,804 Nobody asked you, Sheryl. 478 00:25:50,887 --> 00:25:51,971 Astron-Otter is a boy. 479 00:25:52,054 --> 00:25:53,429 Astron-Otter is a lie. 480 00:25:53,513 --> 00:25:55,887 Let's tread very carefully here, Jeff. 481 00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:58,096 That's an expensive vagina you're adding. 482 00:25:58,179 --> 00:26:01,554 That is a $4 million otter twat. 483 00:26:01,637 --> 00:26:03,887 Please don't use a bad word when you can use a good word. 484 00:26:03,971 --> 00:26:06,054 These are not the decisions you make. 485 00:26:06,137 --> 00:26:08,637 Astron-Otter is a male. 486 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,137 No, Dad. 487 00:26:10,221 --> 00:26:12,346 She's not. 488 00:26:16,304 --> 00:26:18,263 Maybe it's time for you to wake up 489 00:26:18,346 --> 00:26:21,388 and smell the otter twat. 490 00:26:21,471 --> 00:26:22,887 Sorry, Sheryl. 491 00:26:22,971 --> 00:26:24,179 Sorry. 492 00:26:24,263 --> 00:26:27,346 [rattling sound] 493 00:26:32,096 --> 00:26:33,887 [screeching honk] Oh, Jesus! 494 00:26:33,971 --> 00:26:35,679 [giggles] 495 00:26:35,762 --> 00:26:37,845 - Poppy, look what Mom got me. - Not now, honey. 496 00:26:37,929 --> 00:26:38,887 [Maddy] What happened to your face? 497 00:26:38,971 --> 00:26:40,720 I got ouchies, kid. 498 00:26:40,804 --> 00:26:43,554 I got ouchies in places you don't want ouchies. 499 00:26:43,637 --> 00:26:47,096 - Why do you look like that? - He made Astron-Otter 500 00:26:47,179 --> 00:26:49,012 into a fucking hermaphrodite. 501 00:26:49,096 --> 00:26:52,554 What's next, "Bi Little Pony"? 502 00:26:52,637 --> 00:26:54,304 How long before he loses it 503 00:26:54,388 --> 00:26:57,304 and this whole place burns down to the chimney? 504 00:26:57,388 --> 00:27:00,304 ♪ drum music ♪ 505 00:27:00,388 --> 00:27:04,595 ♪♪♪ 506 00:27:04,679 --> 00:27:06,762 Derrell! 507 00:27:06,845 --> 00:27:08,762 Yeah. 508 00:27:08,845 --> 00:27:11,221 Get me Tara Lipinski. 509 00:27:13,221 --> 00:27:15,263 [Joanne] Hello? 510 00:27:15,346 --> 00:27:17,762 I think I left my cookie platter here 511 00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:20,720 from the open house, so I'm just gonna grab it. 512 00:27:20,804 --> 00:27:23,720 ♪ gentle music ♪ 513 00:27:23,804 --> 00:27:28,679 ♪♪♪ 514 00:28:00,971 --> 00:28:02,929 Okay. 515 00:28:03,012 --> 00:28:04,720 I got it. 516 00:28:04,804 --> 00:28:07,762 [faint hissing] 517 00:28:07,845 --> 00:28:09,637 ♪♪♪ 518 00:28:12,263 --> 00:28:13,720 Will! 519 00:28:13,804 --> 00:28:16,887 We're finally getting new neighbors. 520 00:28:16,971 --> 00:28:21,346 ♪ My room ♪ 521 00:28:21,429 --> 00:28:25,679 ♪ My room ♪ 522 00:28:25,762 --> 00:28:29,595 ♪ My room is such a lonely place ♪ 523 00:28:29,679 --> 00:28:32,595 ♪ guitar music ♪ 524 00:28:32,679 --> 00:28:33,887 ♪♪♪ 525 00:28:33,971 --> 00:28:35,679 ♪ My room ♪ 526 00:28:35,762 --> 00:28:38,804 ♪ So filled with empty space ♪ 527 00:28:38,887 --> 00:28:42,346 ♪♪♪ 528 00:28:42,429 --> 00:28:45,137 ♪ Without you ♪ 529 00:28:45,221 --> 00:28:47,096 ♪ You ♪ 530 00:28:47,179 --> 00:28:51,388 ♪ Without you, you ♪ 531 00:28:51,471 --> 00:28:55,845 ♪ My room is just a place to be ♪ 532 00:28:55,929 --> 00:28:59,971 ♪♪♪ 533 00:29:00,054 --> 00:29:04,096 ♪ My room is nothing more to me ♪ 33660

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.