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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:06,380 [ENNUI] Previously on Kidding... 2 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:07,800 I want do a show about death. 3 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,800 I don't think you're ready to talk about that. 4 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:11,960 What are you doing here? 5 00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:13,736 [WILL] She did not leave you because Phil died. 6 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:15,196 She left you because you're a pussy. 7 00:00:15,220 --> 00:00:16,370 Do you think I should get an apartment 8 00:00:16,380 --> 00:00:17,400 closer to the house? 9 00:00:17,420 --> 00:00:18,670 [HUMMING] 10 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,800 [SIGHS] 11 00:00:20,860 --> 00:00:21,880 P-Hound. 12 00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:23,580 - [JEFF] What does the P stand for? - Yeah. 13 00:00:24,260 --> 00:00:26,840 [BEES BUZZING] 14 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:30,340 [SEB] Jeff needs to heal. Mr. Pickles is fine. 15 00:00:31,130 --> 00:00:32,760 [JOANNE] So what do you think? 16 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:34,170 [JEFF] It's perfect. 17 00:00:34,260 --> 00:00:36,540 [DISQUIETING MUSIC] 18 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:44,880 [ENGINE TURNING OVER] 19 00:00:48,510 --> 00:00:49,696 [TOOL WHIRRING, METAL SQUEAKING] 20 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:51,050 [METAL CLANGS] 21 00:00:51,130 --> 00:00:52,130 [TOOL CRANKING] 22 00:00:54,970 --> 00:00:56,090 [GRUNTS] 23 00:00:57,380 --> 00:00:58,670 [CHUCKLES] 24 00:01:02,590 --> 00:01:04,380 [STRUMS STRINGS] 25 00:01:04,470 --> 00:01:06,440 [SPEAKING SPANISH] 26 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,280 Es Uke-Larry... 27 00:01:11,170 --> 00:01:12,740 [SPEAKING SPANISH] 28 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:20,670 [SPEAKING SPANISH] 29 00:01:23,340 --> 00:01:26,200 No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 30 00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:30,760 [METAL SQUEAKING, TOOLS WHIRRING] 31 00:01:38,300 --> 00:01:41,220 [TRANQUIL MUSIC] 32 00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:43,720 [CAR CHIRPS] 33 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:48,880 ♪ ♪ 34 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:04,960 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 35 00:02:04,980 --> 00:02:07,090 [STRAINING] 36 00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:10,050 [LIGHT PIANO RAG] 37 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,260 [SIGHS] 38 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,360 Did you ever feel like there's nothing to do? 39 00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:16,970 Well, 40 00:02:17,050 --> 00:02:19,380 that's how Ennui Le Triste is feeling right now. 41 00:02:19,470 --> 00:02:22,470 ♪ ♪ 42 00:02:22,550 --> 00:02:24,590 Let's take a trip to Pickle Barrel Falls 43 00:02:24,670 --> 00:02:26,550 and see if we can help. 44 00:02:26,630 --> 00:02:31,760 ♪ ♪ 45 00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:33,970 See you at the bottom. 46 00:02:34,050 --> 00:02:36,920 [JAUNTY PIANO RAG] 47 00:02:37,010 --> 00:02:39,010 ♪ ♪ 48 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:41,720 [LIGHT HUMMING] 49 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:46,920 ♪ ♪ 50 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:49,800 Whoa. 51 00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:53,170 Bonjour, Ennui! 52 00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,010 [SPEAKING FRENCH] 53 00:02:55,090 --> 00:02:57,680 Crusty, as usual. 54 00:02:58,170 --> 00:03:00,420 Bored, bored, bored! 55 00:03:00,510 --> 00:03:02,919 - [ENNUI] Everything that I... - They're gonna laugh at me. 56 00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:04,880 [ENNUI] I've already done before. 57 00:03:04,940 --> 00:03:07,580 Well, if they laugh at you... 58 00:03:08,050 --> 00:03:09,899 they're gonna get a real kick out of me. 59 00:03:09,900 --> 00:03:12,179 [JEFF] I'm sure we can think of something. 60 00:03:12,180 --> 00:03:14,106 I mean, just think of all the toys you have at home. 61 00:03:14,130 --> 00:03:18,220 [TANNER] How did you get out of the television? 62 00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:20,460 [SIGHS] 63 00:03:20,740 --> 00:03:23,840 Actually, the hard part isn't getting out. 64 00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:25,420 It's getting back in. 65 00:03:26,180 --> 00:03:28,380 [JEFF] You want to touch my head? 66 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,760 Dare you. 67 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:33,600 Eww, creepy! 68 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:34,630 [LAUGHS] 69 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:36,420 [JEFF] Can I touch yours? 70 00:03:36,510 --> 00:03:37,840 Let me see yours. 71 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,050 Oh, dude, that's so cool! 72 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,130 You got a fade going. 73 00:03:42,220 --> 00:03:44,800 That's really neat. 74 00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:47,419 That's my best friend in the whole world 75 00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:48,460 in the doorway. 76 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,900 Does she look excited to see me? 77 00:03:51,590 --> 00:03:53,060 [TANNER] No. 78 00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:54,970 Hey. 79 00:03:55,050 --> 00:03:56,970 I don't want you to be nervous, 80 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,840 but tomorrow, there's gonna be a lot of Jell-O. 81 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:01,280 I hope you can handle it. 82 00:04:06,770 --> 00:04:07,770 [LAUGHS] 83 00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:08,920 [MUTTERS] 84 00:04:11,170 --> 00:04:13,120 Mom, 85 00:04:13,630 --> 00:04:17,380 I think Mr. Pickles has brain cancer too. 86 00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:20,340 [GENTLE MUSIC] 87 00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:25,380 ♪ ♪ 88 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,180 Who's the man in your life that isn't me? 89 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,010 What happened to your hair? 90 00:04:32,090 --> 00:04:33,970 How long have you been seeing him? 91 00:04:34,050 --> 00:04:35,599 We've been together a couple months. 92 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,760 - It's casual. - I think Will should stay 93 00:04:37,770 --> 00:04:39,320 at my house one more night a week. 94 00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:42,300 I think one night a week is working. 95 00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:45,360 I want healthy decisions for us, not casual ones. 96 00:04:45,420 --> 00:04:47,270 It's very soon to let a man into our home, 97 00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:50,840 into Phil's home... Will's home. Sheesh. 98 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,549 Actually, it's good that you're here, 99 00:04:52,550 --> 00:04:54,396 to have a conversation about setting boundaries. 100 00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:56,380 You mean distance? 101 00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:59,920 [SIGHS] I found out what the P in P-Hound stands for. 102 00:05:00,060 --> 00:05:02,140 Now every time I see the letter P, 103 00:05:02,170 --> 00:05:04,170 I think of the word "pussy," and it haunts my head. 104 00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:07,800 I used to call Phil "my little P-nugget," 105 00:05:07,820 --> 00:05:09,620 and now I hear "pussy-nugget," 106 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,170 and I can't call him that in my daydreams anymore. 107 00:05:12,260 --> 00:05:13,630 You can set boundaries too. 108 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:15,539 Like our shared checking account. 109 00:05:15,540 --> 00:05:17,240 I'm gonna ask you if I can buy a new car, 110 00:05:17,260 --> 00:05:19,420 - and you can say no. - Why do you need a new car? 111 00:05:19,510 --> 00:05:21,800 I'd like to not drive the same model minivan 112 00:05:21,820 --> 00:05:23,590 the insurance company coughed up, 113 00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:25,200 and I'm done pretending that there isn't money 114 00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:26,820 to spend on myself. 115 00:05:28,260 --> 00:05:29,800 You should get whatever 116 00:05:29,820 --> 00:05:31,510 makes you and Will comfortable. 117 00:05:31,590 --> 00:05:33,860 Thanks. Thank you. 118 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:38,839 Maybe I'll come over later, 119 00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:40,280 meet your new guy. 120 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:43,200 I'll make one of those sour cream-blueberry pies 121 00:05:43,220 --> 00:05:44,800 that I make that you like. 122 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,000 - No! - Anyway... 123 00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:50,130 Good luck with all your new decisions. 124 00:05:50,220 --> 00:05:52,180 Did you really shave your head for that kid? 125 00:05:53,340 --> 00:05:55,500 No, silly. 126 00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:00,130 Is there a way to tell if, you know, somebody's gay? 127 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,220 - [CLAY] Course you can. - How? 128 00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:03,700 You just ask them. I mean, 129 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,319 I would say hello first. 130 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,170 [CLAY] Yeah. Turn them upside down. 131 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,856 [CLAY] If they curl up into a ball, they're gay. 132 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,340 [LAUGHTER] 133 00:06:10,420 --> 00:06:12,220 Hi, everybody. 134 00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:15,280 [QUIET WALTZ MUSIC] 135 00:06:15,630 --> 00:06:17,760 Fuck. 136 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,840 [CLAY] What... what's happening? 137 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:21,590 I'm confused. 138 00:06:21,670 --> 00:06:24,130 W-where were you that there were so many bees? 139 00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:26,170 ♪ ♪ 140 00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:28,840 Can you give us a second, Derrell? 141 00:06:28,850 --> 00:06:30,760 Oh, my God. 142 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:34,720 What happened to your face? 143 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,920 What happened to yourself? 144 00:06:37,010 --> 00:06:39,089 I thought we could make this a season 145 00:06:39,090 --> 00:06:41,520 about things that are missing, like hair. 146 00:06:41,540 --> 00:06:42,779 Oh. 147 00:06:42,780 --> 00:06:44,500 We can impart the idea that 148 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,510 change is a good thing. It's okay. 149 00:06:46,590 --> 00:06:48,629 Who we are is so much greater 150 00:06:48,630 --> 00:06:50,510 than what happens to us. 151 00:06:50,590 --> 00:06:52,260 ♪ ♪ 152 00:06:52,340 --> 00:06:53,880 And for the last show, 153 00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:58,760 we take the death episode off the shelf, 154 00:06:58,820 --> 00:07:01,860 and we air it, 155 00:07:02,170 --> 00:07:05,420 and we say, "This happened! 156 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:07,780 And I'm still me." 157 00:07:07,820 --> 00:07:11,120 You look like you are about to climb a Texas tower 158 00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:12,819 - and shoot people. - Don't say that. 159 00:07:12,820 --> 00:07:15,370 You look like Lee Harvey Oswald's 160 00:07:15,380 --> 00:07:17,300 creative younger brother. 161 00:07:17,380 --> 00:07:19,719 You look like Shooty the Clown. 162 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,980 I am the Pope in a Speedo. 163 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:24,920 I am the Oreo cookie without its creamy center, 164 00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:26,519 but if you dip me in milk, 165 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:27,919 I'm still a mouthful of yummy. 166 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:30,340 The affiliate stations air us out of order. 167 00:07:30,420 --> 00:07:32,800 Don't you think it's gonna be just a little confusing 168 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:36,100 for the children when one day, Jeff Pickles has hair, 169 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,380 and the next day, he's paved a sidewalk 170 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,300 down the center of his head? 171 00:07:40,380 --> 00:07:42,200 I don't care. 172 00:07:43,140 --> 00:07:44,920 They can air it out of order. 173 00:07:45,010 --> 00:07:47,020 PBS is gonna get the impression 174 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:49,720 that you are mentally unfortified. 175 00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:52,700 Please, don't put me in this position 176 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:53,720 with the network. 177 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,960 They're gonna shelve us for six weeks 178 00:07:55,980 --> 00:07:57,340 while your hair grows back. 179 00:07:57,420 --> 00:08:00,880 Think of all the people you'll put out of work. 180 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,630 [AMIKA] We call it a Tiger Stripe. 181 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,180 [JEFF] Ah. 182 00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:05,960 Where does it come from? 183 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,630 Russian women with very few opportunities. 184 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,420 How's that look, Mr. P.? 185 00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:13,580 Really wish you wouldn't call me that. 186 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,520 Just Jeff. Jeff is fine. 187 00:08:16,970 --> 00:08:19,080 Don't go anywhere, Jeff. 188 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,300 [SEB] We're strong men. 189 00:08:26,670 --> 00:08:28,590 We keep the struggle inside. 190 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:30,550 You had an off day. 191 00:08:30,630 --> 00:08:33,970 When Amika's done, no one will be able to see you're slipping. 192 00:08:34,050 --> 00:08:36,460 [SEB] That's a secret I'll keep between us. 193 00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:39,630 I bought the house next to Jill's. 194 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,720 And why would you do that? 195 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:45,010 They need me, 196 00:08:45,090 --> 00:08:47,199 even if they don't know they need me. 197 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,340 Jill has a black hole inside her. 198 00:08:49,420 --> 00:08:51,840 It's swallowing her sunshine. 199 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,380 She's trying to fill it with red wine and penises, 200 00:08:54,470 --> 00:08:57,630 and Will's smoking reefer like a jazz musician. 201 00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:59,699 He has no one to open up to. 202 00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:01,700 No healthy friends. 203 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,760 If he doesn't have me to share his inner life with, 204 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,630 his imagination could die. 205 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,380 Did you tell them you did this? 206 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:09,760 I'm sure it'll be odd at first, 207 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,300 but when I show up, knock on the door, 208 00:09:12,380 --> 00:09:14,550 with my blueberry-sour cream pie, 209 00:09:14,630 --> 00:09:16,420 and I say, "Hey, friends. 210 00:09:16,510 --> 00:09:18,020 I'm your new neighbor," 211 00:09:18,510 --> 00:09:19,800 we'll find our footing. 212 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:21,010 And you don't think they'll 213 00:09:21,090 --> 00:09:23,130 see all that as just... 214 00:09:23,220 --> 00:09:24,880 a little bit aggressive? 215 00:09:24,970 --> 00:09:27,840 I saw Jill hugging another man, 216 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:29,590 or he was hugging her. 217 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,300 [SEB] You mean fucking. 218 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,470 No. Regular hugging. 219 00:09:34,550 --> 00:09:36,620 [SEB] Oh, I'm sorry. 220 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:38,960 Is it serious? 221 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,590 I don't know. 222 00:09:40,670 --> 00:09:42,140 I don't think so. 223 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:43,660 How could it be? 224 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:46,130 [GASPING] 225 00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:49,170 [DISQUIETING MUSIC] 226 00:09:49,260 --> 00:09:54,080 ♪ ♪ 227 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:15,000 _ 228 00:10:35,470 --> 00:10:38,630 Mr. Piccirillo, you forgot the extra credit. 229 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:41,520 I don't think freshmen are allowed off-campus lunch. 230 00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:44,980 I told you, I got you. 231 00:10:45,380 --> 00:10:46,820 Get in. 232 00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:48,260 All right. 233 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:53,170 [LAUGHTER] 234 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,520 Smoke up. 235 00:10:56,820 --> 00:10:59,470 My brother grew this in his laundry room. 236 00:10:59,550 --> 00:11:02,800 Hey, give me your phone. 237 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,179 If we're gonna hang out later, 238 00:11:04,180 --> 00:11:05,960 I should put my number in it. 239 00:11:06,020 --> 00:11:08,970 Dude, is that really your phone? 240 00:11:09,050 --> 00:11:11,100 [WILL] You should see our answering machine. 241 00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:13,920 Has two little tapes in it. 242 00:11:13,980 --> 00:11:16,510 [LAUGHTER] 243 00:11:26,580 --> 00:11:28,820 Uh... William? 244 00:11:48,050 --> 00:11:50,970 [FOREBODING MUSIC] 245 00:11:51,050 --> 00:11:53,300 ♪ ♪ 246 00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:56,880 _ 247 00:11:57,420 --> 00:12:00,840 What did the Secret Chef hide in your dessert? 248 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,180 I had rutabagas in my brownies. 249 00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:05,150 I thought they were chocolate chips, but... 250 00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:06,800 I was pleasantly deceived. 251 00:12:07,970 --> 00:12:10,860 If Jill finds out you bought the house next to her, 252 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:14,560 she'll move, and she'll never talk to you again, 253 00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:17,180 and she'll take Will and leave. 254 00:12:18,470 --> 00:12:20,800 I don't know how to love from a distance. 255 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,300 ♪ ♪ 256 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,000 Jeffy. 257 00:12:25,090 --> 00:12:27,380 I forgot to do a crust. 258 00:12:52,050 --> 00:12:54,220 [CLEARS THROAT] 259 00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,970 [ZIPPING] 260 00:13:08,460 --> 00:13:11,470 [LIGHT HUMMING] 261 00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:17,220 [DISQUIETING MUSIC] 262 00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:18,860 ♪ ♪ 263 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:21,880 [WHISTLING] 264 00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:26,920 ♪ ♪ 265 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:33,920 [HUMMING] 266 00:13:34,010 --> 00:13:38,880 ♪ ♪ 267 00:13:58,300 --> 00:13:59,720 Ooh! Shh. 268 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:04,670 ♪ ♪ 269 00:15:27,090 --> 00:15:29,510 [JEFF] "From 'pusillanimous,' 270 00:15:29,590 --> 00:15:32,550 showing a lack of courage or determination." 271 00:15:49,590 --> 00:15:53,090 [PLUCKING STRINGS] 272 00:15:53,170 --> 00:15:56,550 [STRUMS CHORD] 273 00:15:56,630 --> 00:15:59,510 [RISING] ♪ What do you do, what do you do ♪ 274 00:15:59,590 --> 00:16:01,600 ♪ What do you do ♪ 275 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:04,590 ♪ What do you do, what do you do ♪ 276 00:16:04,670 --> 00:16:07,970 ♪ What do you do ♪ 277 00:16:12,170 --> 00:16:14,620 Maddy, piano time! 278 00:16:15,090 --> 00:16:16,550 I'll take her. 279 00:16:16,630 --> 00:16:19,060 [PIANO MUSIC] 280 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,160 [CHUCKIE] Want me to stop, Mr. Farpopolis? 281 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,180 - No. Keep going, Chuckie. - [CHUCKIE SINGING] 282 00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:25,020 Yeah, sorry. I know I'm early. 283 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:26,700 I-I was hoping you and I could go somewhere 284 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,440 - and talk for a second. - No vocals, Chuckie. 285 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:31,970 Sorry, Mr. Farpopolis. 286 00:16:32,050 --> 00:16:35,279 He's always adding vocals. I can take her, Deirdre. 287 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,260 - Oh, I... - Come in. 288 00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:39,020 - Just... can we, uh... - [CHUCKIE SINGING] 289 00:16:39,090 --> 00:16:40,590 Chuckie! 290 00:16:40,670 --> 00:16:42,879 Okay, never mind. It's nothing. 291 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,680 Have fun... eh, learn. 292 00:16:45,780 --> 00:16:46,970 Aren't you coming, Mom? 293 00:16:47,050 --> 00:16:48,800 ♪ ♪ 294 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:49,939 Inside? 295 00:16:49,940 --> 00:16:51,540 Daddy always waits upstairs. 296 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,460 Oh, he does? Oh. 297 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,620 - [DEIRDRE] For the whole lesson? - [MADDY] Yeah, they both do. 298 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:56,839 Daddy's always yelling, 299 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:59,120 "Play louder, so Daddy can hear you." 300 00:17:00,130 --> 00:17:02,590 [DEIRDRE] Oh, huh. 301 00:17:02,670 --> 00:17:07,760 ♪ ♪ 302 00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:11,950 [MADDY] ♪ Don't go chasing waterfalls ♪ 303 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,340 No vocals, Maddy. 304 00:17:13,420 --> 00:17:15,630 ♪ ♪ 305 00:17:15,650 --> 00:17:17,590 Did you hand-fuck my husband? 306 00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:20,700 ♪ ♪ 307 00:17:20,820 --> 00:17:22,970 So what's your second favorite instrument? 308 00:17:24,630 --> 00:17:26,779 ♪ What do you do, what do you do ♪ 309 00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:29,719 ♪ What do you do ♪ 310 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:31,330 Maestro Pimento Fermata 311 00:17:31,340 --> 00:17:33,590 and the Pickle Nickel Choir. 312 00:17:33,940 --> 00:17:35,999 ♪ When it's time to make a choice ♪ 313 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,970 ♪ Make the choice, make the choice ♪ 314 00:17:38,050 --> 00:17:39,920 ♪ When you haven't got a clue ♪ 315 00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:41,970 - ♪ What do you do? ♪ - ♪ What do you do? ♪ 316 00:17:42,050 --> 00:17:45,740 ♪ You only need to listen to the voice that's true ♪ 317 00:17:45,820 --> 00:17:48,800 - ♪ The voice that's true? ♪ - ♪ That little voice ♪ 318 00:17:48,820 --> 00:17:52,340 ♪ That's deep inside of you, hear the voice ♪ 319 00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:55,050 ♪ Make the choice, make the choice ♪ 320 00:17:55,130 --> 00:17:59,140 ♪ It'll say anything it wants and it will never go away ♪ 321 00:17:59,150 --> 00:18:03,620 ♪ And the harder you ignore it then the more it has to say ♪ 322 00:18:03,660 --> 00:18:06,050 ♪ You'll hear it get louder, louder, louder ♪ 323 00:18:06,130 --> 00:18:09,630 ♪ Louder, louder, louder, louder every day ♪ 324 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,770 ♪ The voice is here to stay ♪ 325 00:18:11,780 --> 00:18:12,960 [PICKLE] ♪ Mamma Mia ♪ 326 00:18:46,630 --> 00:18:48,720 [SIGHS] 327 00:18:50,580 --> 00:18:52,800 We're in the middle of a meal. 328 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,420 It's opulent. 329 00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,800 It's red. 330 00:19:00,130 --> 00:19:02,970 Red is such a look-at-me color. 331 00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:04,820 It's the safest car on the market. 332 00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:08,090 Hm. You know, 333 00:19:08,170 --> 00:19:10,500 if Will stayed over at my house one more night a week, 334 00:19:10,510 --> 00:19:12,720 I wouldn't have to be dropping by all the time. 335 00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,010 I'll think about it. 336 00:19:19,260 --> 00:19:21,420 Tell me one thing about him. 337 00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:27,760 His name is Peter. 338 00:19:27,820 --> 00:19:29,260 Hm? 339 00:19:29,340 --> 00:19:31,380 He's an anesthesiologist. 340 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:32,720 Mm. 341 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,840 I guess that's... 342 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,799 As long as he doesn't start bringing his work 343 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,920 home with him. A lot of them do that. 344 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,340 Tell me another thing. 345 00:19:49,220 --> 00:19:50,320 It looks good. 346 00:19:51,460 --> 00:19:53,800 I don't think anyone will know but me. 347 00:19:57,670 --> 00:19:59,630 I had a pie. 348 00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:03,010 Come on. 349 00:20:03,090 --> 00:20:05,970 [PIANO CONCERTO IN A MINOR BY EDVARD GRIEG] 350 00:20:06,050 --> 00:20:07,590 ♪ ♪ 351 00:20:07,670 --> 00:20:09,060 Who are you? 352 00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:12,630 - Jeff... - Could you be more specific? 353 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:14,420 A family lives in this house. 354 00:20:14,510 --> 00:20:17,220 That wasn't a... question. 355 00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,630 Maybe let's stick to the basics. 356 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,900 - Mm. - Is that pie on your shoe? 357 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,619 Well, I don't want him to feel like 358 00:20:23,620 --> 00:20:25,339 he can't ask me things. 359 00:20:25,340 --> 00:20:27,980 Have you been married before, Peter? 360 00:20:28,420 --> 00:20:29,800 [JILL] Jeff, let him eat. 361 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:31,670 [PETER] Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater. 362 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:34,300 Had a wife, couldn't keep her. 363 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,059 Right? Isn't that how it goes? 364 00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:37,260 Put her in a pumpkin shell, 365 00:20:37,340 --> 00:20:39,440 and there he kept her very well. 366 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,720 The man in that poem is not a candidate for glory. 367 00:20:43,630 --> 00:20:45,090 It's a rhyme about abuse. 368 00:20:45,170 --> 00:20:47,380 Mm. I didn't know the rest of it. 369 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,670 Had another, didn't love her. 370 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:50,880 That's the next line. 371 00:20:50,970 --> 00:20:52,920 No, I don't think that... 372 00:20:53,010 --> 00:20:54,720 How is that a bedtime story? 373 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,320 King John 374 00:20:56,550 --> 00:20:58,720 had a friend he didn't like, 375 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,970 and so he took that man's wife 376 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,550 and he sealed her in a room with bricks 377 00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,260 until she starved to death. 378 00:21:05,460 --> 00:21:08,260 In some versions, mice eat the woman, 379 00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:11,560 but that's neither here nor there. 380 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,170 My mother used to read that to me. 381 00:21:14,260 --> 00:21:15,720 Now I question her motives. 382 00:21:15,740 --> 00:21:17,510 Early childhood neglect 383 00:21:17,590 --> 00:21:20,280 can lead to dysfunctional adult relationships. 384 00:21:20,420 --> 00:21:22,140 Are your parents still together, 385 00:21:22,300 --> 00:21:23,920 like Jill and I? 386 00:21:23,980 --> 00:21:26,590 ♪ ♪ 387 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:29,400 Will, you're gonna... spend an extra night a week 388 00:21:29,420 --> 00:21:31,160 - with your dad. - Oh. 389 00:21:31,340 --> 00:21:33,880 That's a good thing. 390 00:21:39,510 --> 00:21:40,760 Hey. 391 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,110 How long have you been sucking 392 00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:43,300 on those coffin nails? 393 00:21:43,380 --> 00:21:45,880 Yeah, actually, I've been 394 00:21:45,970 --> 00:21:49,010 meaning to quit. [CLEARS THROAT] 395 00:21:55,220 --> 00:21:57,920 You ever had a vice or a guilty pleasure? 396 00:22:00,180 --> 00:22:03,080 Not like smoking, or adultery, 397 00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:05,440 or skulduggery, 398 00:22:06,050 --> 00:22:09,020 but... I have been known to... 399 00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:11,100 take a sip or two of chocolate syrup, 400 00:22:11,130 --> 00:22:12,640 straight out of the bottle. 401 00:22:13,260 --> 00:22:14,800 [LAUGHS] 402 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:16,420 [CLEARS THROAT] Uh... 403 00:22:16,510 --> 00:22:19,140 Your vice is drinking Hershey's chocolate syrup? 404 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:20,920 No. 405 00:22:21,010 --> 00:22:23,000 Never have a coupon for Hershey's. 406 00:22:23,470 --> 00:22:25,340 Yeah, but I mean... 407 00:22:25,420 --> 00:22:27,340 You can afford name-brand syrup. 408 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,620 I can afford a lot of things, 409 00:22:30,050 --> 00:22:32,090 but I only spend what I need, 410 00:22:32,170 --> 00:22:34,320 and the rest goes to people who need it more. 411 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,470 Yeah. Totally. No, every month, 412 00:22:37,550 --> 00:22:39,250 I give $15 to NPR. 413 00:22:39,260 --> 00:22:42,220 They sent me an apron that says "NPR Apron." 414 00:22:42,590 --> 00:22:44,420 I like the name Peter. 415 00:22:44,510 --> 00:22:46,760 It's a good name. 416 00:22:46,780 --> 00:22:48,320 You know what? 417 00:22:49,670 --> 00:22:52,520 I'm gonna call you Big P. 418 00:22:52,540 --> 00:22:54,579 - [CHUCKLES] - Would that be okay? 419 00:22:54,580 --> 00:22:56,100 Are you kidding me? Oh... 420 00:22:56,140 --> 00:22:57,819 Jeff Pickles just gave me a nickname. 421 00:22:57,820 --> 00:22:59,480 Oh, God. I feel like... 422 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,180 Elvis just gave me a sequin. What can I call you? 423 00:23:02,220 --> 00:23:04,000 Jeff Pickles. 424 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:09,240 Oh, sorry. I thought you had left. 425 00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:11,920 Good night, Will. 426 00:23:17,050 --> 00:23:18,600 Good night, Big P. 427 00:23:20,050 --> 00:23:21,510 Can I ask you something? 428 00:23:21,590 --> 00:23:24,170 [PETER] Oh, yeah, man. What's up? 429 00:23:24,260 --> 00:23:27,350 [WILL] What kind of mouthwash do girls like? 430 00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:29,840 [IMITATES METALLIC SCRAPING SOUND] 431 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:32,590 [QUIET MELANCHOLY MUSIC] 432 00:23:32,670 --> 00:23:37,130 ♪ ♪ 433 00:23:37,220 --> 00:23:39,040 [SIGHS] 434 00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:44,170 ♪ ♪ 435 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,160 What? 436 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:54,880 ♪ ♪ 437 00:23:56,380 --> 00:23:58,720 Are... are you... 438 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:03,520 ♪ ♪ 439 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,780 I love you. 440 00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:11,050 ♪ ♪ 441 00:24:12,340 --> 00:24:14,090 [ASTRON-OTTER CRYING] 442 00:24:14,170 --> 00:24:15,340 [JEFF] Oh, no! 443 00:24:15,420 --> 00:24:16,840 Astron-Otter? 444 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:18,130 What's wrong? 445 00:24:18,220 --> 00:24:19,880 [AGITATED MUTTERING] 446 00:24:19,970 --> 00:24:21,719 You're frustrated? About what? 447 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,630 [AGITATED MUTTERING] 448 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,750 Oh, she's frustrated 449 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,240 because her rocket ship keeps falling over. 450 00:24:28,260 --> 00:24:30,880 I think her bam-boosters are misfiring. 451 00:24:32,340 --> 00:24:35,090 You know what I do when I'm frustrated? 452 00:24:35,170 --> 00:24:37,080 I take a calm-me-down breath. 453 00:24:37,120 --> 00:24:40,600 [BREATHES DEEPLY] 454 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:41,860 [INHALES] 455 00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:44,130 [AGGRAVATED SIGH] 456 00:24:44,220 --> 00:24:46,800 [AGITATED YELLING] 457 00:24:46,970 --> 00:24:48,770 I think maybe she needs another calm... 458 00:24:48,780 --> 00:24:51,550 All right, stop. 459 00:24:51,630 --> 00:24:54,340 Why do you keep doing that? 460 00:24:54,420 --> 00:24:56,170 - Stop. - Stop what? 461 00:24:56,260 --> 00:24:58,800 You keep calling Astron-Otter a she. 462 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,340 Last time I checked, he was a he-otter. 463 00:25:01,420 --> 00:25:03,620 He was a he. Now she's a she. 464 00:25:03,700 --> 00:25:05,130 He's been a he for 20 years. 465 00:25:05,150 --> 00:25:07,650 You don't just wake up one day and call him a she. 466 00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:08,939 [JEFF] It happens every day. 467 00:25:08,940 --> 00:25:11,590 It's happening to children all over the world. 468 00:25:14,670 --> 00:25:16,110 It's called gender fluidity. 469 00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:17,590 What? No. 470 00:25:17,670 --> 00:25:19,000 He's a he. 471 00:25:19,100 --> 00:25:22,380 Astron-Otter's Lunar Lander Power Wheel. 472 00:25:22,470 --> 00:25:24,380 - Hmm. - Astron-Otter's Moon 473 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,370 Rock Space Fortress. 474 00:25:26,380 --> 00:25:30,420 Astron-Otter's My First Boxer Briefs 475 00:25:30,510 --> 00:25:32,170 with stain guard. 476 00:25:32,260 --> 00:25:35,000 He's a seven-figure line item marketed to boys. 477 00:25:35,090 --> 00:25:36,820 She has no discernible genitalia. 478 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,100 I should fucking hope not. 479 00:25:39,670 --> 00:25:42,200 What an important thing to impart, 480 00:25:42,630 --> 00:25:45,170 that Astron-Otter could change overnight 481 00:25:45,260 --> 00:25:47,120 and still be the same otter. 482 00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,499 It's not a terrible idea. 483 00:25:49,500 --> 00:25:50,799 Nobody asked you, Sheryl. 484 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,140 Astron-Otter is a boy. 485 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:53,519 Astron-Otter is a lie. 486 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:55,880 Let's tread very carefully here, Jeff. 487 00:25:55,970 --> 00:25:58,270 That's an expensive vagina you're adding. 488 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:01,550 That is a $4 million otter twat. 489 00:26:01,630 --> 00:26:03,879 Please don't use a bad word when you can use a good word. 490 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,120 These are not the decisions you make. 491 00:26:06,130 --> 00:26:08,860 Astron-Otter is a male. 492 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,000 No, Dad. 493 00:26:10,220 --> 00:26:12,340 She's not. 494 00:26:16,300 --> 00:26:18,330 Maybe it's time for you to wake up 495 00:26:18,340 --> 00:26:20,400 and smell the otter twat. 496 00:26:21,470 --> 00:26:22,760 Sorry, Sheryl. 497 00:26:22,970 --> 00:26:24,170 Sorry. 498 00:26:24,260 --> 00:26:27,340 [RATTLING SOUND] 499 00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:34,250 - [SCREECHING HONK] - Oh, Jesus! 500 00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:35,670 [GIGGLES] 501 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,840 - Poppy, look what Mom got me. - Not now, honey. 502 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,096 [MADDY] What happened to your face? 503 00:26:39,120 --> 00:26:40,720 I got ouchies, kid. 504 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:43,380 I got ouchies in places you don't want ouchies. 505 00:26:43,420 --> 00:26:47,090 - Why do you look like that? - He made Astron-Otter 506 00:26:47,170 --> 00:26:49,010 into a fucking hermaphrodite. 507 00:26:49,090 --> 00:26:51,980 What's next, "Bi Little Pony"? 508 00:26:52,630 --> 00:26:54,300 How long before he loses it 509 00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:57,300 and this whole place burns down to the chimney? 510 00:26:57,380 --> 00:27:00,300 [DRUM MUSIC] 511 00:27:00,380 --> 00:27:04,590 ♪ ♪ 512 00:27:04,670 --> 00:27:06,100 Derrell! 513 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,760 Yeah. 514 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,220 Get me Tara Lipinski. 515 00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:15,360 [JOANNE] Hello? 516 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,820 I think I left my cookie platter here 517 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,720 from the open house, so I'm just gonna grab it. 518 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:23,720 [GENTLE MUSIC] 519 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:28,670 ♪ ♪ 520 00:28:00,820 --> 00:28:02,920 Okay. 521 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:04,720 I got it. 522 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,760 [FAINT HISSING] 523 00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:09,630 ♪ ♪ 524 00:28:09,740 --> 00:28:11,160 _ 525 00:28:12,260 --> 00:28:13,720 Will! 526 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,120 We're finally getting new neighbors. 527 00:28:16,970 --> 00:28:21,020 ♪ My room ♪ 528 00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:25,420 ♪ My room ♪ 529 00:28:25,460 --> 00:28:29,590 ♪ My room is such a lonely place ♪ 530 00:28:29,670 --> 00:28:32,590 [GUITAR MUSIC] 531 00:28:32,670 --> 00:28:33,820 ♪ ♪ 532 00:28:33,970 --> 00:28:35,670 ♪ My room ♪ 533 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:38,800 ♪ So filled with empty space ♪ 534 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:42,340 ♪ ♪ 535 00:28:42,420 --> 00:28:45,260 ♪ Without you ♪ 536 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:46,880 ♪ You ♪ 537 00:28:46,900 --> 00:28:51,320 ♪ Without you, you ♪ 538 00:28:51,340 --> 00:28:55,840 ♪ My room is just a place to be ♪ 539 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:59,970 ♪ ♪ 540 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:04,090 ♪ My room is nothing more to me ♪ 35945

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