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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:03,873 --> 00:00:07,359
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:10,395
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:10,396 --> 00:00:13,472
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:13,473 --> 00:00:16,878
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:16,879 --> 00:00:20,449
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:20,450 --> 00:00:22,017
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:22,018 --> 00:00:23,885
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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00:00:23,886 --> 00:00:28,642
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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00:00:28,643 --> 00:00:34,183
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
11
00:00:35,332 --> 00:00:36,732
Good evening. I'm Tom Tucker.
12
00:00:36,733 --> 00:00:38,633
Coming up, why one hello a day
13
00:00:38,634 --> 00:00:40,969
to the receptionist at work
is the magic number.
14
00:00:40,970 --> 00:00:43,972
But first,
pilot strike at Quahog Airport.
15
00:00:43,973 --> 00:00:47,442
Picketing began on Thursday...
Weird day to start a strike...
16
00:00:47,443 --> 00:00:49,578
And both sides appear to be
at an impasse.
17
00:00:49,579 --> 00:00:51,446
So ground control
is telling Major Tom
18
00:00:51,447 --> 00:00:53,248
this could be long one.
19
00:00:53,249 --> 00:00:56,218
Does anyone else
like David Bowie?
20
00:00:56,219 --> 00:00:57,957
Hey, what the hell is
up with this letter?
21
00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:00,193
It says I'm no longer covered
on your health insurance.
22
00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:01,962
Oh, yeah.
They don't cover dogs no more.
23
00:01:01,963 --> 00:01:04,941
You could do COBRA
for $7,300 a month though.
24
00:01:04,942 --> 00:01:06,743
Would that be something
you'd be interested in?
25
00:01:06,744 --> 00:01:08,879
I need that health insurance.
You know I have a hernia.
26
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,047
What if I need surgery?
27
00:01:10,048 --> 00:01:12,182
Well, if you need
insurance that bad,
28
00:01:12,183 --> 00:01:13,684
maybe it's time
for you to go out
29
00:01:13,685 --> 00:01:15,152
and get a job of your own.
30
00:01:15,153 --> 00:01:16,403
This sucks.
31
00:01:16,404 --> 00:01:18,055
How did you
get a hernia?
32
00:01:18,056 --> 00:01:19,389
Actually, I got
it performing
33
00:01:19,390 --> 00:01:21,491
an incredible
act of heroism.
34
00:01:24,512 --> 00:01:25,896
Oh, my God!
35
00:01:25,897 --> 00:01:28,498
Somebody help me! I'm sinking!
36
00:01:30,068 --> 00:01:32,052
Hurry! I can't hold it!
37
00:01:32,053 --> 00:01:35,105
Okay, let me just
unstrap my baby.
38
00:01:35,106 --> 00:01:37,941
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Slipping, slipping. Sorry.
39
00:01:41,713 --> 00:01:42,879
What do we want?
40
00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,018
Fair wages!
41
00:01:44,019 --> 00:01:45,182
When do we want it?
42
00:01:45,183 --> 00:01:47,951
Originally now, but it's
been delayed until 9:40
43
00:01:47,952 --> 00:01:49,935
due to weather in Philly!
44
00:01:49,936 --> 00:01:51,608
This is a mess.
45
00:01:51,609 --> 00:01:54,431
Like when Peter rode that
Access Hollywood bus.
46
00:03:11,036 --> 00:03:12,602
Ah, bachelorette party.
47
00:03:12,603 --> 00:03:14,003
Can I fit this in?
48
00:03:18,243 --> 00:03:19,909
Okay, cool. I got time.
49
00:03:20,979 --> 00:03:22,312
Hello, ladies.
50
00:03:22,313 --> 00:03:24,014
Wow, here comes
the bride, huh?
51
00:03:24,015 --> 00:03:26,216
More than once, if I have
anything to do with it.
52
00:03:26,217 --> 00:03:28,161
Finally, the stripper's here!
53
00:03:28,162 --> 00:03:30,687
What? No, I'm not a stripper.
I'm a pilot.
54
00:03:32,223 --> 00:03:33,890
See? This is a real uniform.
55
00:03:33,891 --> 00:03:36,460
Ooh. Take something
else off, sexy.
56
00:03:36,461 --> 00:03:37,677
Oh, yeah!
57
00:03:37,678 --> 00:03:39,129
All right!
58
00:03:40,165 --> 00:03:41,681
Oh, yeah?
59
00:03:41,682 --> 00:03:43,233
You want a little more, huh?
60
00:03:46,838 --> 00:03:48,572
Yeah! All right.
61
00:03:48,573 --> 00:03:51,007
Who wants me to stow my bag
under their seat?
62
00:03:56,414 --> 00:04:00,350
Boy, and I thought the Federal
Hill bakery had nice buns.
63
00:04:01,652 --> 00:04:03,553
You're talented, Denise.
64
00:04:03,554 --> 00:04:05,688
You should
really go for it.
65
00:04:09,094 --> 00:04:10,911
Wow.
66
00:04:10,912 --> 00:04:13,096
What... a... day.
67
00:04:13,097 --> 00:04:14,331
Please don't comment.
68
00:04:14,332 --> 00:04:15,565
Oh, look at you.
69
00:04:15,566 --> 00:04:17,033
- Did you get a job?
- Bitch.
70
00:04:17,034 --> 00:04:18,435
Did I get a job?
71
00:04:18,436 --> 00:04:21,004
Um, this ain't a life-vest,
sista.
72
00:04:21,005 --> 00:04:24,274
It's a work vest from a little
place called Mega Hardware.
73
00:04:24,275 --> 00:04:26,243
'Cause that's basically
what I am now.
74
00:04:26,244 --> 00:04:28,945
Just an everyday,
working-class Joe.
75
00:04:28,946 --> 00:04:31,748
Well, good for you.
76
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,383
No. No, Brian.
77
00:04:33,384 --> 00:04:35,368
This doesn't
feel right today.
78
00:04:35,369 --> 00:04:36,686
Yes.
79
00:04:36,687 --> 00:04:38,238
There's a rat trap
in that cabinet.
80
00:04:38,239 --> 00:04:39,923
With a foot in it.
81
00:04:39,924 --> 00:04:42,209
And somewhere in this house,
there's a footless rat.
82
00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:44,394
Well, I'm off to
watch some Fox News
83
00:04:44,395 --> 00:04:46,129
in front of the
old boob tube.
84
00:04:46,130 --> 00:04:48,431
♪ Tommy used to
work on the docks ♪
85
00:04:48,432 --> 00:04:49,766
♪ Union's been on strike ♪
86
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:51,268
♪ He's down on his luck ♪
87
00:04:51,269 --> 00:04:53,445
♪ It's tough, so tough. ♪
88
00:04:58,543 --> 00:04:59,743
- Hey.
- No.
89
00:04:59,744 --> 00:05:00,777
- I wasn't sure.
- I'm sure.
90
00:05:00,778 --> 00:05:02,212
- Okay.
- Well, got to go.
91
00:05:02,213 --> 00:05:03,713
Got to do
some more picketing.
92
00:05:03,714 --> 00:05:05,949
Seriously? It's,
like, 9:00 at night.
93
00:05:05,950 --> 00:05:08,712
Yeah, uh...
well, it's, uh...
94
00:05:08,713 --> 00:05:10,696
Cleveland's stealing
shot glasses!
95
00:05:11,562 --> 00:05:14,487
I don't like drinking NyQuil
out of them little cups.
96
00:05:19,664 --> 00:05:21,298
Where the hell's
Quagmire going?
97
00:05:21,299 --> 00:05:22,933
The airport's that way.
98
00:05:22,934 --> 00:05:24,367
He doesn't know we're
following him, Joe.
99
00:05:24,368 --> 00:05:25,719
You don't have
to duck down.
100
00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,238
I'm not. You took a pretty hard
right turn back there.
101
00:05:28,239 --> 00:05:30,341
I've been like this for a while.
102
00:05:37,616 --> 00:05:38,598
What's he doing?
103
00:05:38,599 --> 00:05:39,950
This is one of them places
104
00:05:39,951 --> 00:05:42,152
where women go
to see male strippers.
105
00:05:42,153 --> 00:05:44,154
Some bisexual men
go as well.
106
00:05:49,861 --> 00:05:51,339
I don't see him.
107
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,167
Ladies,
this is your pilot speaking.
108
00:05:57,168 --> 00:06:00,804
I am in the full, upright
and locked position.
109
00:06:07,445 --> 00:06:08,945
Oh, my.
110
00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:25,962
Oh, my God!
What are you guys doing here?!
111
00:06:25,963 --> 00:06:27,797
Crap. Our
disguises didn't work.
112
00:06:30,435 --> 00:06:32,869
Quagmire, I didn't know
you were a male stripper.
113
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:35,305
I wasn't. Not until
the strike, anyway.
114
00:06:35,306 --> 00:06:36,873
I've been out of work
for three weeks.
115
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,975
I'm out of money.
I-I had to do something.
116
00:06:38,976 --> 00:06:40,810
God, I'm so embarrassed.
117
00:06:40,811 --> 00:06:43,489
Why? Stripping is
a very respectable profession.
118
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:44,581
If it weren't respectable,
119
00:06:44,582 --> 00:06:47,083
why would real estate agents
go to strip clubs for lunch?
120
00:06:47,084 --> 00:06:48,985
He's right.
This is tremendous.
121
00:06:48,986 --> 00:06:50,637
Are you banging
all these chicks?
122
00:06:50,638 --> 00:06:52,722
Hey, hey!
That is offensive.
123
00:06:52,723 --> 00:06:54,658
I am a dancer,
not a gigolo!
124
00:06:54,659 --> 00:06:57,827
Captain Cockpit, my friend
is about to get married,
125
00:06:57,828 --> 00:07:01,364
and we were wondering if you'd
have sex with her for $500.
126
00:07:03,201 --> 00:07:05,001
I'm a gigolo.
127
00:07:05,002 --> 00:07:06,536
Oh, hey, it's that guy.
128
00:07:06,537 --> 00:07:09,022
Are you gonna say,
"Who else but Quagmire?"
129
00:07:09,023 --> 00:07:11,274
N... uh, no, I, uh, uh,
130
00:07:11,275 --> 00:07:13,443
w-wanted to
know if Quagmire
131
00:07:13,444 --> 00:07:15,195
was available
tomorrow evening?
132
00:07:15,196 --> 00:07:16,880
Are... are you gay?
133
00:07:16,881 --> 00:07:18,281
Uh, of course not. No.
134
00:07:18,282 --> 00:07:21,084
Uh, but I'm
unable to properly
135
00:07:21,085 --> 00:07:24,771
have sex with my wife,
so I figured, you know.
136
00:07:24,772 --> 00:07:27,223
Eh, who else
but Quagmire?
137
00:07:27,224 --> 00:07:29,478
Hey, awesome cameo.
138
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:35,653
Hey, sorry I'm late, guys.
139
00:07:35,654 --> 00:07:37,055
Had to stop at
the dry cleaner.
140
00:07:37,056 --> 00:07:38,289
The dry cleaner?
141
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:39,857
Wow, somebody
struck it rich.
142
00:07:39,858 --> 00:07:41,326
You know,
I got to tell you,
143
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:42,960
I was sweating
that pilot strike,
144
00:07:42,961 --> 00:07:45,980
but now that I'm a gigolo,
I'm making money by the fistful.
145
00:07:45,981 --> 00:07:47,348
Is that a giggity?
146
00:07:47,349 --> 00:07:48,866
That is a giggity.
147
00:07:48,867 --> 00:07:50,501
Hey, Quagmire, I
couldn't help but notice
148
00:07:50,502 --> 00:07:52,003
you got some dry
cleaning hanging up
149
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:53,404
in the backseat
of your car.
150
00:07:53,405 --> 00:07:55,173
- Did you win the lottery?
- No.
151
00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:57,742
Well, I hope you're not actually
doing that gigolo thing.
152
00:07:57,743 --> 00:07:59,844
You know,
prostitution is illegal.
153
00:07:59,845 --> 00:08:02,080
Uh, uh, no, no, no.
It's, uh, it's something else.
154
00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:03,867
Uh, uh, Quagmire's, uh,
155
00:08:03,868 --> 00:08:06,351
selling online
Internet cyber stuff.
156
00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:08,403
Wow. Good for you,
Quagmire.
157
00:08:09,738 --> 00:08:11,089
You and Gates, huh?
158
00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:16,010
Uh, geez, I got to go home and
change into my Tarzan costume.
159
00:08:16,011 --> 00:08:18,580
Uh, uh... for...
for... for the Web.
160
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:20,846
Huh. I got to
get a computer.
161
00:08:26,789 --> 00:08:29,290
Excuse me. How many BTUs
does this grill have?
162
00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:30,725
Oh, man. That puppy?
163
00:08:30,726 --> 00:08:32,844
More than you need,
less that I want.
164
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,263
E-Excuse me. Do you have
a small grocery cart
165
00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:37,745
I could put this boat-sized
hunk of lumber in?
166
00:08:37,746 --> 00:08:38,933
Probably out in the parking lot.
167
00:08:38,934 --> 00:08:40,568
Can you tell me where I
can find extension cords?
168
00:08:40,569 --> 00:08:42,437
- Aisle 25.
- I was just there.
169
00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:44,105
- 26.
- There is no 26.
170
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:45,514
15.
171
00:08:46,258 --> 00:08:47,408
So Goby gets up
on the lift...
172
00:08:47,409 --> 00:08:48,543
Don't mind me.
173
00:08:48,544 --> 00:08:50,278
Just grabbing myself
a cup of mud.
174
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:51,729
I like mine black.
175
00:08:51,730 --> 00:08:53,381
Black as night.
176
00:08:53,382 --> 00:08:55,250
Black as sin,
know what I'm saying?
177
00:08:55,251 --> 00:08:56,718
Haven't introduced myself.
178
00:08:56,719 --> 00:08:59,304
Guys in my crew
call me "The Ratchet."
179
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:00,655
Brian, it's not your break.
180
00:09:00,656 --> 00:09:02,323
Get out there
and help the customers.
181
00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:04,225
Brian?
Who are you, my father?
182
00:09:04,226 --> 00:09:05,460
Ha! This guy.
183
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:07,347
- Get out there!
- Yes, sir.
184
00:09:08,773 --> 00:09:11,074
That guy's got no idea
how hard I'm work...
185
00:09:11,075 --> 00:09:13,538
Bird! A bird got in! Awesome!
186
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:22,777
Hello?
187
00:09:22,778 --> 00:09:24,445
Hey, Quagmire, what's going on?
188
00:09:24,446 --> 00:09:25,613
Oh, you need a ride?
189
00:09:25,614 --> 00:09:26,914
Yeah, sure. I can come get you.
190
00:09:26,915 --> 00:09:27,949
I'm not doing anything.
191
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,621
Meg, that was the last guy,
192
00:09:33,622 --> 00:09:35,624
so just lock up
when you're done.
193
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:43,865
Thanks for the ride.
194
00:09:43,866 --> 00:09:45,433
One of my tricks
drove me here from the Clam,
195
00:09:45,434 --> 00:09:46,901
and I didn't have
any money for a cab.
196
00:09:46,902 --> 00:09:48,870
Why not? Didn't she
just pay you for sex?
197
00:09:48,871 --> 00:09:51,105
No. After it was over,
she said she wasn't gonna pay.
198
00:09:51,106 --> 00:09:52,707
Well, that ain't fair.
199
00:09:52,708 --> 00:09:55,109
You can't let these women take
advantage of you like that.
200
00:09:55,110 --> 00:09:57,011
What apartment is she in?
I'll go talk to her.
201
00:09:57,012 --> 00:09:58,613
She's in unit 17.
202
00:09:58,614 --> 00:10:00,148
You know, if you're
going back in anyway,
203
00:10:00,149 --> 00:10:01,316
can you grab my belt?
204
00:10:01,317 --> 00:10:03,352
It's reversible,
so I'd hate to lose it.
205
00:10:07,390 --> 00:10:09,524
Hey, you didn't pay my friend!
206
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:12,026
So I'm gonna play with
your doorbell until you pay up.
207
00:10:13,829 --> 00:10:15,496
Stop it!
208
00:10:15,497 --> 00:10:17,465
I can do this all day.
I love buttons.
209
00:10:17,466 --> 00:10:19,233
Fine, here's your money!
210
00:10:21,004 --> 00:10:22,303
Here you go.
211
00:10:22,304 --> 00:10:24,612
Peter, this is amazing.
Thank you.
212
00:10:24,613 --> 00:10:25,473
Hey, you know what?
213
00:10:25,474 --> 00:10:26,958
Here's a little something
for your trouble.
214
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,842
You're giving me a cut?
215
00:10:28,843 --> 00:10:30,179
Wow, thanks!
216
00:10:30,180 --> 00:10:32,680
No problem. It's just too bad
you're not here every time.
217
00:10:32,681 --> 00:10:34,298
Well, I could be.
218
00:10:34,299 --> 00:10:36,217
I mean, my days
are pretty open,
219
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:38,686
and I don't sleep a lot at
night 'cause of health stuff.
220
00:10:38,687 --> 00:10:41,117
Huh. That'd be
kind of nice, actually.
221
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:43,091
Hey, maybe you could
drive me around and help me out,
222
00:10:43,092 --> 00:10:45,243
and I could even pay you a
little something for your time.
223
00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:46,994
Sure, that sounds great.
And you know what?
224
00:10:46,995 --> 00:10:48,496
It'll be nice having
a little extra cash
225
00:10:48,497 --> 00:10:50,331
to bet on
college football.
226
00:10:50,332 --> 00:10:52,033
Yeah, I'd like to
bet a hundred bucks.
227
00:10:52,034 --> 00:10:53,368
You want to pick a team?
228
00:10:53,369 --> 00:10:55,237
No, just take it.
229
00:11:01,644 --> 00:11:03,277
I thought you had the day off.
230
00:11:03,278 --> 00:11:05,329
Maybe from the store,
but it's not like things
231
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:08,182
take a day off from needing
repairs, am I right?
232
00:11:08,183 --> 00:11:10,918
Oh, looks like this cabinet door
is a good place to start.
233
00:11:10,919 --> 00:11:12,253
Yup, she's off-kilter.
234
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:13,855
I'm gonna have
to plane her down.
235
00:11:13,856 --> 00:11:15,790
Lois, what year was
this house built?
236
00:11:15,791 --> 00:11:18,259
Uh, I don't know.
Maybe 1945?
237
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:20,461
Good, it's grandfathered in.
Thought I'd need a variance.
238
00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:21,929
Don't want to
get a code vi.
239
00:11:21,930 --> 00:11:23,798
"Vi" is violation.
240
00:11:23,799 --> 00:11:25,299
"Code" is just code.
241
00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:27,791
I don't know, Brian,
it looks straight to me.
242
00:11:27,792 --> 00:11:29,704
- What?
- It's straight.
243
00:11:29,705 --> 00:11:31,739
I-I don't know what that means.
"It's-it's straight"?
244
00:11:31,740 --> 00:11:33,107
Oh, you mean plumb.
245
00:11:33,108 --> 00:11:34,642
Y-You're saying
the door is plumb.
246
00:11:34,643 --> 00:11:37,378
Wow, Brian, you do know
all the lingo.
247
00:11:37,379 --> 00:11:40,148
Ah, come on, that's just
stuff you pick up on the site.
248
00:11:40,149 --> 00:11:42,383
I'm gonna go use a miter
to jerry-rig a shim jamb
249
00:11:42,384 --> 00:11:43,985
strap hinge
quarter-round soffit
250
00:11:43,986 --> 00:11:47,221
two-by-six dowel
cherry-picker flim-flam.
251
00:11:47,222 --> 00:11:49,223
You know, Rupert,
Brian's douche-iness
252
00:11:49,224 --> 00:11:52,260
should infuriate me,
but the truth is he seems happy.
253
00:11:52,261 --> 00:11:54,612
So I guess I'll just do nothing
and that's that.
254
00:11:59,602 --> 00:12:01,335
Can't do it.
Let's get him fired.
255
00:12:42,378 --> 00:12:45,880
Boy, I have a whole new respect
for Hayden Panettiere.
256
00:12:45,881 --> 00:12:47,934
Giggity.
257
00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:49,016
I'm pulling up. You ready?
258
00:12:49,017 --> 00:12:51,519
Oh, hey, Peter, listen, I can't
work tonight. I'm spent.
259
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:52,887
That last trick was like
260
00:12:52,888 --> 00:12:54,789
trying to use
an empty bottle of hand soap.
261
00:12:54,790 --> 00:12:56,657
But you got to work.
I set up five appointments.
262
00:12:56,658 --> 00:12:58,793
That's a lot of money.
Sorry, I can't do it.
263
00:12:58,794 --> 00:13:00,027
You're just gonna
have to cancel them.
264
00:13:00,028 --> 00:13:02,063
What the hell
did you say to me?!
265
00:13:02,064 --> 00:13:03,197
Peter, what are
you doing?!
266
00:13:03,198 --> 00:13:04,665
You trippin', boy?!
267
00:13:04,666 --> 00:13:07,034
You're going out if I tell you
you're going out, bitch!
268
00:13:07,035 --> 00:13:08,369
Okay.
269
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:10,238
What... what's in
your pimp cup?
270
00:13:10,239 --> 00:13:12,920
Uh, it's actually
a wheatgrass, ginger mixture.
271
00:13:12,921 --> 00:13:14,456
I was in the middle
of a cleanse.
272
00:13:14,457 --> 00:13:15,977
I didn't know we'd be
doing this pimp thing,
273
00:13:15,978 --> 00:13:17,631
but I made a promise
to my body.
274
00:13:18,647 --> 00:13:19,781
Ah.
275
00:13:20,231 --> 00:13:21,297
Not great.
276
00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:30,105
Peter, what you doing
all dressed up for church?
277
00:13:30,106 --> 00:13:31,378
This ain't Easter.
278
00:13:31,379 --> 00:13:33,030
No, Cleveland, these
are my work clothes.
279
00:13:33,031 --> 00:13:35,599
- You hosting Family Feud?
- No, I'm a pimp.
280
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,534
Um, Big Pete, if we're
gonna be sitting,
281
00:13:37,535 --> 00:13:39,036
may I use my
penis donut?
282
00:13:39,037 --> 00:13:40,237
Bitch, I don't care.
283
00:13:40,238 --> 00:13:42,272
Dang, Quagmire,
you're lucky.
284
00:13:42,273 --> 00:13:43,607
He take care of you.
285
00:13:43,608 --> 00:13:44,942
Yeah, no, no,
it's great.
286
00:13:44,943 --> 00:13:46,410
Um, I'm making
a lot of money.
287
00:13:46,411 --> 00:13:47,544
I'm actually really happy.
288
00:13:47,545 --> 00:13:49,431
I'm actually very hungry.
289
00:13:49,432 --> 00:13:50,835
Nobody's gonna want
you if you're fat!
290
00:13:50,836 --> 00:13:51,615
You want to eat?
291
00:13:51,616 --> 00:13:53,484
Get up to that bar
and earn your keep.
292
00:13:55,087 --> 00:13:57,256
W-What should
I ask for, $500?
293
00:13:57,257 --> 00:13:58,853
You're not worth that
much. You're trash!
294
00:13:58,854 --> 00:13:59,890
Ask for two.
295
00:13:59,891 --> 00:14:01,642
You know I hit you
and whore you out
296
00:14:01,643 --> 00:14:03,327
because I love
you, right?
297
00:14:04,430 --> 00:14:06,397
Hi, there.
You want to party?
298
00:14:06,398 --> 00:14:08,132
And can I have
some of your bread?
299
00:14:08,133 --> 00:14:09,233
Hi, handsome.
300
00:14:09,234 --> 00:14:11,235
You can't have my bread,
but you can have
301
00:14:11,236 --> 00:14:13,838
something of mine
that smells like bread.
302
00:14:19,545 --> 00:14:21,011
Okay, let's go.
303
00:14:21,012 --> 00:14:22,012
Just so you know,
304
00:14:22,013 --> 00:14:26,617
it takes me a long time.
305
00:14:32,524 --> 00:14:34,992
All right, Rupert, if we're
going to teach Brian a lesson,
306
00:14:34,993 --> 00:14:36,660
we're going to need some muscle.
307
00:14:36,661 --> 00:14:39,496
You, you and you,
20 bucks for the day.
308
00:14:39,497 --> 00:14:40,581
Hop in the back.
309
00:14:40,582 --> 00:14:41,865
No!
310
00:14:41,866 --> 00:14:43,701
Asiento trasero
Trasero!
311
00:14:43,702 --> 00:14:45,135
Forget it, just get in.
312
00:14:45,136 --> 00:14:47,471
Anyone who doesn't enjoy
the music of Josh Groban
313
00:14:47,472 --> 00:14:49,673
can get out of
the (BLEEP) car.
314
00:14:53,078 --> 00:14:55,846
Okay, if you had a friend
who worked at Mega Hardware,
315
00:14:55,847 --> 00:14:57,448
how would you
get him fired?
316
00:14:57,449 --> 00:14:59,149
You ask him for papers?
317
00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:00,451
Okay, good.
318
00:15:00,452 --> 00:15:02,453
Uh, that, unfortunately,
won't work in this instance.
319
00:15:02,454 --> 00:15:03,887
But I like your effort, Luis.
320
00:15:03,888 --> 00:15:05,139
Uh, any other ideas?
321
00:15:05,140 --> 00:15:06,457
You could kill a guy.
322
00:15:06,458 --> 00:15:08,959
You know what, Carlos,
you stay quiet for a while.
323
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:10,394
I really only
need two of you.
324
00:15:10,395 --> 00:15:11,462
You'll still be paid.
325
00:15:11,463 --> 00:15:13,363
You ask for papers?
326
00:15:13,364 --> 00:15:16,033
Okay, is there any idea out
there besides killing a guy
327
00:15:16,034 --> 00:15:17,468
or getting
someone deported?
328
00:15:17,469 --> 00:15:19,470
We do good job,
we live with you?
329
00:15:19,471 --> 00:15:21,338
Well, you just
offered to kill a guy,
330
00:15:21,339 --> 00:15:23,657
so you're not exactly number
one on my roommate list.
331
00:15:23,658 --> 00:15:26,310
Now, let's go. I paid good
money for you, I need answers!
332
00:15:26,311 --> 00:15:28,312
I want your best,
and I won't stand for
333
00:15:28,313 --> 00:15:29,806
even one more
stupid idea!
334
00:15:30,682 --> 00:15:33,500
You shake up boss's soda
and give to him.
335
00:15:33,501 --> 00:15:35,881
When he open it,
it explode!
336
00:15:37,363 --> 00:15:39,589
This is why
I pushed you.
337
00:15:44,763 --> 00:15:48,031
Huh. I guess that Brian Griffin
is a good egg after all.
338
00:15:50,051 --> 00:15:52,125
Griffin, you're fired!
339
00:16:01,914 --> 00:16:03,947
I never liked prostitutes
340
00:16:03,948 --> 00:16:07,501
because they sell their bodies
to all types of men.
341
00:16:07,502 --> 00:16:09,186
I turned my first trick
342
00:16:09,187 --> 00:16:11,488
when I had my first
one-night stand.
343
00:16:11,489 --> 00:16:14,391
I had sex for
dinner and drinks.
344
00:16:14,392 --> 00:16:16,693
Being a prostitute is no fun.
345
00:16:16,694 --> 00:16:19,429
You have to work nights,
weekends.
346
00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:22,082
I hear on SNL the women are
funnier than the guys now,
347
00:16:22,083 --> 00:16:23,768
but I don't know,
I'll never see it.
348
00:16:28,774 --> 00:16:30,240
We meet Quagmire,
349
00:16:30,241 --> 00:16:32,442
a small-town boy
with big-city dreams
350
00:16:32,443 --> 00:16:35,212
who has fallen deep
into the game of prostitution
351
00:16:35,213 --> 00:16:36,480
at the Point.
352
00:16:38,550 --> 00:16:40,100
You know, some people ask me,
353
00:16:40,101 --> 00:16:42,352
"Would you want your son
to be a hooker?"
354
00:16:42,353 --> 00:16:44,321
My answer is always,
"Hey, lady, are we talking,
355
00:16:44,322 --> 00:16:45,556
or am I beefing ya?"
356
00:16:47,659 --> 00:16:49,960
I kind of want to see
Guardians of the Galaxy,
357
00:16:49,961 --> 00:16:52,803
but I also kind of feel like
there might be scary parts.
358
00:16:54,030 --> 00:16:56,182
Hey, honey,
you shopping for groceries?
359
00:16:56,628 --> 00:16:57,801
You know what that means?
360
00:16:57,802 --> 00:16:59,670
"Shopping for groceries"
is what I say instead of,
361
00:16:59,671 --> 00:17:01,321
"Do you want to
pay me for sex?"
362
00:17:01,322 --> 00:17:02,838
so I can't get arrested.
363
00:17:22,835 --> 00:17:24,695
Stewie, did you hire
three Mexican guys
364
00:17:24,696 --> 00:17:27,030
to shake a soda can
and give it to my boss?
365
00:17:27,031 --> 00:17:28,415
What?!
366
00:17:28,416 --> 00:17:29,650
One's Guatemalan.
367
00:17:29,651 --> 00:17:31,301
Damn it, Stewie,
you got me fired!
368
00:17:31,302 --> 00:17:33,287
Oh, who are you kidding?
You got yourself fired.
369
00:17:33,288 --> 00:17:34,605
Parading around there,
370
00:17:34,606 --> 00:17:36,306
pretending you know
the first thing about tools.
371
00:17:36,307 --> 00:17:37,186
You know what?
372
00:17:37,187 --> 00:17:39,042
You're going down there
with me right now
373
00:17:39,043 --> 00:17:40,377
to tell them what you did.
374
00:17:40,378 --> 00:17:41,528
Get your hands off me!
375
00:17:41,529 --> 00:17:43,347
I'll go floppy
dead weight on you!
376
00:17:45,817 --> 00:17:47,317
Ah, crap! My stomach!
377
00:17:47,318 --> 00:17:48,669
I think my hernia ruptured!
378
00:17:48,670 --> 00:17:49,853
Oh, my God!
379
00:17:49,854 --> 00:17:51,788
Damn it, it's bad. It's bad!
380
00:17:51,789 --> 00:17:53,657
I'll get Lois. She can take you
to the hospital.
381
00:17:53,658 --> 00:17:55,058
No, she can't.
382
00:17:55,059 --> 00:17:56,894
Thanks to you,
I don't have insurance anymore.
383
00:17:56,895 --> 00:17:57,995
What are we gonna do?!
384
00:17:57,996 --> 00:17:59,296
I'll get the gun!
385
00:17:59,297 --> 00:18:01,231
No, Stewie, you
have to fix me.
386
00:18:01,232 --> 00:18:02,866
What?! I'm not a doctor!
387
00:18:02,867 --> 00:18:04,635
Just look it up
on your phone or something!
388
00:18:04,636 --> 00:18:07,404
Ugh, hold on.
I've got to update iOS.
389
00:18:07,405 --> 00:18:08,472
Stewie!
390
00:18:08,473 --> 00:18:10,073
Okay, okay, got it.
391
00:18:10,074 --> 00:18:11,742
It says I have to make
an incision,
392
00:18:11,743 --> 00:18:13,343
retract the hernia sac,
393
00:18:13,344 --> 00:18:15,379
and then suture
the abdominal lining.
394
00:18:15,380 --> 00:18:16,713
How am I supposed to do that?!
395
00:18:16,714 --> 00:18:18,148
Grab my tool belt.
396
00:18:18,149 --> 00:18:20,701
Use the self-sharpening
linoleum blade.
397
00:18:20,702 --> 00:18:23,503
Ah!
398
00:18:23,504 --> 00:18:26,323
And then hold the incision open
with a vise grip,
399
00:18:26,324 --> 00:18:29,726
and use the slip-joint pliers to
get the muscle back in position.
400
00:18:29,727 --> 00:18:31,061
Okay, okay.
401
00:18:31,062 --> 00:18:32,763
Now it's saying
I have to suture it.
402
00:18:32,764 --> 00:18:34,932
I've got some monofilament line
you can use.
403
00:18:34,933 --> 00:18:37,334
It's from aisle eight,
above the chains and cables.
404
00:18:37,335 --> 00:18:39,670
"Monofilament line,"
"slip-joint pliers."
405
00:18:39,671 --> 00:18:42,205
I've got to say, Brian,
it seems like you really did
406
00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:43,540
learn something on that job.
407
00:18:43,541 --> 00:18:46,109
You're right. I guess I did.
408
00:18:46,110 --> 00:18:47,511
But please, stitch me up.
409
00:18:47,512 --> 00:18:49,112
Just be careful
and take your time.
410
00:18:49,113 --> 00:18:50,580
This is the delicate part,
because...
411
00:18:50,581 --> 00:18:52,382
Yeah, I'm gonna
just use the staple gun.
412
00:18:52,383 --> 00:18:54,685
Ah! Damn it! Ah!
413
00:18:54,686 --> 00:18:56,586
You know what?
That was really easy.
414
00:18:56,587 --> 00:18:59,789
That guy who killed Joan Rivers
must be terrible at this.
415
00:19:04,396 --> 00:19:06,797
Hey, there... Oh.
What are you doing here?
416
00:19:06,798 --> 00:19:07,931
Quagmire?
417
00:19:07,932 --> 00:19:09,299
Uh, oh... uh, uh...
418
00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:11,702
I have a hobby that
takes me this way.
419
00:19:11,703 --> 00:19:13,904
Hey, I'm freezing. You got
a blanket in there or something?
420
00:19:13,905 --> 00:19:17,474
I got a towel, but it's wet
because I'm eating peaches.
421
00:19:17,475 --> 00:19:19,126
I lied about the hobby.
422
00:19:19,127 --> 00:19:20,644
I was sinning.
423
00:19:20,645 --> 00:19:23,259
I'm going to drive
away backwards now.
424
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:29,770
Hey, baby,
you want to party?
425
00:19:29,771 --> 00:19:31,155
Get in.
426
00:19:37,929 --> 00:19:39,459
You guys having
a good night?
427
00:19:40,565 --> 00:19:42,312
I like that it's
getting dark earlier.
428
00:19:42,767 --> 00:19:44,935
What are you guys
gonna be for Halloween?
429
00:19:44,936 --> 00:19:45,969
Big Pete, help!
430
00:19:45,970 --> 00:19:47,738
She wants to do German things!
431
00:19:47,739 --> 00:19:49,289
German things!
432
00:19:49,290 --> 00:19:51,608
What? No! He hasn't eaten
anything in days!
433
00:19:51,609 --> 00:19:53,110
It's not gonna work!
434
00:19:53,111 --> 00:19:55,445
Nein! Nein!
435
00:19:58,349 --> 00:20:00,017
Ah! She's got us both!
436
00:20:00,018 --> 00:20:01,618
Help us, pimps and hos!
437
00:20:01,619 --> 00:20:04,522
Help us, HBO camera crew!
438
00:20:08,493 --> 00:20:11,695
God, Quagmire, most of
that was horrible.
439
00:20:11,696 --> 00:20:13,013
I know.
440
00:20:13,014 --> 00:20:14,848
Eventually, I might
want to try it again.
441
00:20:14,849 --> 00:20:16,099
Hey, listen, buddy.
442
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:17,978
I'm sorry
about all this.
443
00:20:17,979 --> 00:20:19,803
I guess I just got
caught up in the money
444
00:20:19,804 --> 00:20:21,705
and-and assumed you
were okay with it
445
00:20:21,706 --> 00:20:23,206
because of the sex.
446
00:20:23,207 --> 00:20:24,808
I don't know, Peter.
I think you're just mad
447
00:20:24,809 --> 00:20:26,943
I didn't come to see
your Pretenders cover band.
448
00:20:26,944 --> 00:20:28,345
Yes, well, that may be.
449
00:20:28,346 --> 00:20:30,347
Speaking of which,
the Pretend Pretenders
450
00:20:30,348 --> 00:20:31,982
are playing again
this weekend.
451
00:20:31,983 --> 00:20:33,350
Uh, much like
the real band,
452
00:20:33,351 --> 00:20:35,802
we have been
described as "meh."
453
00:20:35,803 --> 00:20:37,671
Still, I'm really sorry.
454
00:20:37,672 --> 00:20:39,656
Can you find it in
yourself to forgive me,
455
00:20:39,657 --> 00:20:42,008
and maybe we can just
go back to being friends?
456
00:20:42,009 --> 00:20:43,794
I'd like that.
457
00:20:43,795 --> 00:20:45,228
Hopefully, the pilot strike
will end soon
458
00:20:45,229 --> 00:20:46,780
and I can get my old job back.
459
00:20:46,781 --> 00:20:48,298
Oh, the strike
ended a month ago.
460
00:20:48,299 --> 00:20:49,991
What?!
Why didn't you tell me?!
461
00:20:49,992 --> 00:20:51,017
I did.
462
00:20:51,018 --> 00:20:54,273
Are you still
GlennQ10@aol.com?
463
00:20:54,274 --> 00:20:54,972
No.
464
00:20:54,973 --> 00:20:56,733
Ah, well. There you go.
465
00:20:56,734 --> 00:20:58,734
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
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