Original subtitles

Good morning and welcome back to the news.

Right, as you heard in the headlines,

the top story today is the school leaving exam results.

The data we have suggest this has been an extraordinary year.

In fact 99.3% of pupils

who sat the exam passed.

An extraordinary result

but where the Alessandro Manzoni High School stands out negatively.

With its embarrassing number of fails,

it earns the title of worst school in Italy.

How long have we known each other, Carlo?

Since first year of high school.

Classmates. What great memories!

How often did I give you my homework?

Aristide, if I remember correctly I gave you my homework.

"MANZONI: SCHOOL OF FAILURES"

As director of education,

how do you think I feel, seeing this? And you?

You're headmaster of the worst school in Italy.

If, next year,

you don't get at least a 50% pass rate with your one final-year class,

- Manzoni is closing. - Closing?

Only a few enrolments, poor results. It's 'Good Schooling'.

Good Schooling? I had teachers transferred,

I had last-minute resignations,

teachers teaching the wrong subjects. What's this?

The list of teachers chosen by the ministerial algorithm.

New teachers?

All on the black list.

- Was that not a legend? - No.

At the bottom of the national tables are the least-qualified teachers.

The last are the ones that messed up.

And then there are these guys, the black list.

But they'll be the worst of the worst.

Exactly! That's the genius of the algorithm.

Where the best have failed, the worst will succeed.

For the worst pupils, the worst teachers.

But it makes no sense...

Mario Locuratolo,

genius of combinatorics.

World champion! World champion!

World champion!

"Maths"

Sandra Melis...

"English"

For her, English is a question of life and death.

Don't worry, the spleen serves no purpose as an organ.

A week and you'll be sorted.

Next lesson: Parkour!

Bugger you!

"PE"

Davide Golia, train the body

to train the mind.

Amina Venturi,

the real teaching body.

"Italian"

You would like witnesses to confirm my identity,

but as you know, there's no identity without difference,

because identity is the identity of the identity

and of the non-identity.

Please, take it.

- Just shut up. - Thank you.

"Philosophy"

Eliseo Maurizi, to focus on communication.

Sir, you can't keep coming back here.

You got sacked, come on.

You even have a restraining order.

Gaetano Fanfulla,

an explosive intelligence.

"Chemistry"

Right, according to the classic reading in De Bello Gallico,

the traditional iconography of the Roman soldier

involves the following equipment...

Skirt, armour and helmet of skin and leather.

And ending up with...

My favourite.

Antonio Cioncoloni.

Yes, speaking...

Failed 13 times at his teaching licence examination.

But he keeps trying, have you ever seen such determination?

Manzoni High School you said? Of course.

Thank you.

"TAKE A SELFIE WITH HISTORY"

I'm a teacher! Do you understand? I'm a teacher!

"History"

You mean he doesn't even have his licence?

No.

I'm giving you what you need to win this challenge.

But remember... a 50% pass rate at the school leaving exam

or Manzoni closes.

"FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL"

The deputy head's still driving that wreck!

You hear about the new teachers?

- Who's that? - Camilla... something...

She's just moved here, she's in the final year with us.

- Was she failed as well? - No, she's a year ahead.

It won't last.

HERE COME THE TEACHERS

And these are the seven samurai?

The headmaster said they're super-qualified.

They are, I can assure you.

A moment of attention, please, ladies and gentlemen.

I wanted to introduce your new colleagues who this year...

with be dealing with 5th year.

As you know we have a special challenge,

but I'm sure they will be up to it.

I hope.

Don't say another word, sir, we're ready and concentrated.

Nothing will distract us from our objective.

Good morning. I apologise for my slight lateness,

but it's not my fault, but of these sandals.

You know, flip-flops are very comfortable,

but you need to take it easy on the stairs, you might slip.

But today is the first day,

and the first thing is to get to know each other, so take a sheet of paper

and write your name. You have one hour.

Do we not have a double period today?

- Write your surname as well. - Excuse me,

are you not the maths teacher?

Yes.

Well done, Camilla. Good girl.

- Excuse me, sir... - What's your name?

- Camilla Brandolini. - Camilla Brandolini, yes?

Is that not a 4th-degree logarithmic equation?

That's university material.

If, between now and the end of the year, you've learned to relax,

you'll be able to solve it as well. Maybe.

In the meantime, look at it and reflect.

- On what? - On the fact you can't solve it.

Very often, in other people's eyes,

it seems we're not doing anything.

In reality, our mind continues working, thinking.

In this way we continue to produce knowledge.

Excuse me, sir, can I go to the bathroom?

To reflect better.

- What's your name? - Pagliarulo.

Right, you see, your classmate... Pagliarulo...

- is one step ahead. Go. - Thank you, sir.

Learn, Brandolini.

- How's it going, Mr Locuratolo? - Fine, Headmaster.

- The boys and girls are receptive. - Really?

Listen, I got your request for 21

Ah, yes, sorry, in fact it's 22.

- I need one at home for correcting. - 22 PlayStations?

Don't be banal. They're sensorial immersion calculation platforms.

- What? - ls that 15 minutes already?

- Since when? - The start of class.

Have you not seen the latest research from the University of Melbourne?

It says someone can only concentrate for 15 minutes an hour.

- So, for everyone's sake, I'm going. - Where, sorry?

You wouldn't want me to smoke in front of the pupils?

Good morning.

Good morning.

Hi, I'm Antonio Cioncoloni.

Good morning, I'm Mr Cioncoloni.

- Who's that? - Cioncoloni.

- Who's that? - First day?

Yes, absolutely the first.

I was meant to have had two supply jobs,

but every time I got to the school, I'd block.

I'd turn round and leave.

- I'll never manage a class. - It's easy.

Remember that your pupils always know a lot less than you,

and however unprepared you might feel, compared to them...

- you're Zuckerberg. - I'd never thought of that.

That's the good thing about teaching, it's all in your own hands.

You can test them, suspend them, fail them.

Absolute power.

I'd always seen it as a mission.

I'd never seen it like that...

What are you doing here? Get back to class! Go and study!

Yeah, but don't get carried away!

- Less? - This is no-man's land.

But not in class, in class you're the boss, you understand?

- Absolute power. - Absolute power.

Come on or you'll miss your first day as a teacher.

- Absolute? - Power.

Sorry I'm late, we'll catch up on the lost time right away.

- Sit down, Miss, thank you. - No, really...

- No questions. We're late. Sit down. - Look, I...

Do you want to be the first sent out?

- No. - Go, shoo!

Good morning, everyone. I'm Mr Cioncoloni, your history teacher.

This year we'll be looking at Julius Caesar.

Again? We did him in 1st year.

44AD, February,

St Valentine's Day, which was no coincidence.

Because this is where our love affair with history begins.

That was the day when Julius Cesar...

I'm Miss De Maria, the Latin teacher.

- This is 4B. - 4B?

I think you got the wrong classroom, sir.

I thought you were too old.

- All right, I get it. - No.

Good morning, sorry for bothering you. Goodbye.

Good.

- She means you. - No, you. Me or him?

Calm down, I'm unarmed.

Nice to meet you. I'm Luca.

Hit the deck!

My name is Davide, Davide Golia,

and I'm not a simple PE teacher.

I'll bring out the warrior in all of you.

You, for example,

'fatty', 'lardass',

'whale',

you wanna stop being called these names?

You see that tree there?

Climb it.

Now.

YOU!

- Me? - Yes.

Not me, sir, I have a doctor's note.

Serious health problems.

- You can't understand this. - The proof it's real, sir.

- You know how doctors write. - Eat it.

- What? - Eat it.

Why doesn't he say anything?

- He's been mixing for 30 minutes. - Maybe he's mute.

Very funny.

There's a moral code among pupils.

Yeah? Really? Did you write it?

There are rules, Camilla, and you broke them all today.

There's only one rule at school: study.

- I only wanted to help you. - Thanks, but there's no need.

Yes, it was a bit embarrassing.

That's the new teacher who mistook me for a pupil.

Colleagues!

- How was your first day? - I wish it wouldn't end.

I wish it was June.

Listen, about this morning,

I wanted to say I absolutely don't think

you're too old, that is, at least not as...

Don't worry, no problem. See you around. Let's go.

- Really? - I wasn't expecting that.

First day at school and the first heart in flames?

No! I made a fool of myself today, she'll be laughing at me now.

If I may, I would start immediately calculating the probabilities.

What?

If you want to conquer a woman,

you have to know what your chances are.

Of course, I imagine. How do you do that?

'EP' equals 'FC' over 'PC'.

'EP', event probability,

equals 'FC', favourable cases, over 'PC', possible cases.

Clear?

Yes... How do I work out how many probable cases there are?

Well, in this case, it's easy. With a woman there are only two, yes or no.

- Watch. - Yes.

- Locuratolo, maths. - De Maria, Latin.

Cioncoloni, history,

was wondering if you'd go out with him this evening for dinner.

Then maybe after dinner, there might be a bit of sex,

which never does any harm, does it?

- He said that? - Limit your answers to yes or no,

I'd avoid "maybe", "I don't know", it's statistics, you understand?

- Of course. - Thank you.

You have serious problems. You know that?

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

That was a no? Great! We're off.

I mean, we've eliminated the denominator,

because before it was over two, now... we're off!

- Do you play Street Fighter? - What's that?

I can feel it, this is going to be a great year.

The kids are clever.

At high school I built a huge paper plane that didn't fly, but...

- How's it going? - Badly, it's going badly.

It's not working, we have to change strategy.

You're the usual pessimist.

The usual grey, sad Carlo No Hope De Sanctis.

- Does it not hurt always moaning? - Yes,

but...

"FIRST TERM"

How many times have you been told,

"Let's study songs, your favourite films"?

Would you like that?

Well, forget it!

There's only one way to learn about Italian literature...

by studying it!

Everything finds its sense

and meaning through the use we make of that thing

at the moment when we use it. Write it down.

Sir... we can't write like this.

Sir, the desk is too high, I can't.

Or is it the chair that's too low?

The chair is lower than the ceiling,

but we can't say it's low, because it's higher than the floor.

- What's he on about? - No idea!

See? You don't equipment for basketball either,

just the will.

Come on, let's go again.

- Don't mock the blind. - I'm not blind,

- I'm just short-sighted. - Same thing.

Right, now I'll show you

how to respect your team-mates. Take your socks off.

Concentrate, guys, concentrate.

Sir, this is lagging, I can't see the monster coming.

You can't kill it with knuckledusters, look at it.

Shotgun, go.

And hide below, look...

- What's going on here? - Headmaster,

when is the order coming?

It's impossible to teach like this.

Right, let's start...

Sir...

- A talking coat stand. - I'm not a coat stand.

Think about it: there are clothes hanging on you,

therefore you're a coat stand.

If you accept this, you'll be able to understand the difference

between signified and signifier.

Got you!

Do you know that according to the statistics

66% of pupils have smoked cannabis

at least once during high school?

Only once, sir? Poor things.

You smoke indica in the morning? It brings you down.

- And it's a bit light for me. - No, it's good, my friend grows it.

Wait till it kicks in.

I only smoke sativa, Sivares.

No! Great, sir! A legend.

I remember harvesting it in Lebanon,

we crushed it to get the resin. Great days!

No! Respect, sir, respect.

I take back what I said. This hits quickly.

Not bad, not bad.

- Luca? What are you smoking? - Me? Nothing.

Reckless youth.

It's a blend.

Want some?

He's unbearable, if he keeps going like that, I'll fail him,

I'll fail him because he's unbearable.

Colleagues?

Here's the maniac.

- What's he want now? - Colleagues!

Sorry, I didn't see the step.

Ow, that's sore!

And if you continue molesting me and my colleague, I'll report you!

Molesting? It was a misunderstanding!

What is that?

Red pepper from Pizzocalabro.

- Cioncoloni! What happened? - Oh, God, it's you!

I can't see, I can't see!

This way, this way.

- Is everything OK? - It's fine.

Tell me something...

this passion for Julius Caesar, where's that from?

Eh, I don't know.

I think it's that I see myself as very similar to him in many ways.

- You founded an empire? - No, nothing to do with that!

Caesar wasn't just a great soldier, he was also a great innovator,

and he was a strong, sure man, with women as well.

Was he not gay?

You know what your problem is, in my view?

Your tried an approach that was too direct with De Maria.

Me? But it was you who came up with the formula!

All right, she's a hard case: we'll change strategy.

After all, we're talking about coupling, a natural instinct.

In this case... ethology might be useful for us.

What will I do? Give her flowers?

Yes. Like the striped Malaysian hermit-crab.

What does he do? Give flowers to the female?

Not exactly.

More the seeds of a poisonous plant

that stun her so he can couple with her without any problems.

That seems a bit excessive.

Or do like Julius Caesar: conquer Gaul to take Rome.

You're starting to lose me again.

- Make her jealous. - What?

Excuse me...

- This school is out of control! - Yes, I realise... excuse me.

We'll sort everything now...

They're doing extreme sports in PE!

- I know. - My daughter broke three ribs!

I'm very sorry about that, really.

And they spend all their time playing videogames, does that seem normal?

One at a time, or we won't resolve anything.

- I'm Camilla Brandolini's father. - Ah, our best student.

Yes, and this is your favourite's bag after chemistry class.

Excuse me, a bit of patience.

Headmaster, the kids have glued the photocopier again,

I had to prepare the tests...

The deputy head will deal with you.

Go into my room and take my place, all right?

Right, will we shut up?

No, we'll shut up now!

Ladies and gentlemen, one at a time, in the order you got here.

And let's keep calm, nobody's dead.

Hi, Mum!

I'll deal with this.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Who did this?

Today the programme is the Second World War.

No, today I have to explain the conquest of Gaul,

the symbol of the conflict between civilisations on our continent.

No, the Second World War.

Who's speaking?

How did the conflict break out?

You don't know! You're not a good teacher.

- How dare you? - Where were the front lines?

Oaf.

Show yourself, coward!

What countries were involved? Come on, tell us about it.

It,

is...

May...

- in fact it is... - Fantastic.

Fantastic?

Stop, are you mad? You wanna get us killed?

She asked me.

You're making me lose my pronunciation!

Right, it's really broken?

Can you follow me with this cold?

Right, then...

Page...

- Sir, there's no connection. - We're offline.

We're offline, nothing.

There was a connection a moment ago.

Higher, higher.

It's as though someone had shielded this room.

Beckett's poetic of the absurd, as I was explaining earlier,

- when he... - Camilla, please, stop.

Are you not interested in how it ends?

How it ends? You'll do this nice little paper,

and tomorrow I'll take a look at it. How about that?

I don't know what to say...

On you go and smoke your scented cigarettes.

Scented cigarettes? Where do you get this stuff?

I study, I get my diploma and you'll be here your whole life.

Scented cigarettes.

It's not so bad, maybe they'll take you on as a janitor.

My father's a janitor.

I'm sorry.

50"')!-

is it possible you believe everything? You're impossible.

- Yeah, yeah... - You're impossible.

You laugh, it's all you're good for.

- And what are you doing? - I'm studying.

Ah, to change the world!

You're out of it.

You're totally out of it.

On you go and study, and tomorrow you'll get your classic 8/10.

- Or 9. - I'll get my 2,

and what will be the consequences for planet earth?

None.

Bye.

Ah, this isn't mine.

That goes on the shelf.

- You ready? - No. I'm very tense.

One time before a congress I was as tense as you,

and you know what Stephen Hawking said to me?

Who, the scientist? You know him?

When your prospects are zero, you really appreciate what you have.

What does that mean?

When you have zero possibilities, even 0.1 is a success.

Thank you, that's really encouraging.

Take them into the class and I'll be in soon, eh?

- Hello? - Talk loudly.

- Cioncoloni, yes! - This is Venturi.

- Greetings, Venturi. - Don't be formal!

- No, I won't be. - What are you doing tonight?

- What are you doing tonight? - Don't ask her, invite her...

- Dinner? - Yes, at your place.

My place, tonight. It's Venturi.

- What are you making? - What d'you want to eat?

Don't ask her. What might De Maria like?

Red alert, red alert.

- Abandon ship. - What ship?

Guys, have you got anything for a temperature?

Come with me, I'll see what I've got.

Thank you. Bye.

- Paracetamol? - Ah, great.

Scheming bastard.

I always have some. You need to take it with water.

You can take it on its own, but it needs a purifier.

You think?

Sparkling water...

and still water,

equals slightly sparkling water.

I hate to see him like that.

Excuse me.

"TERM MARKS"

So how are they doing?

- Eh, better... let's say. - Better?

The average is slowly rising, still not enough...

in maths they all got 10.

Perhaps thanks to my method: endogenous statistics

and perceptive self-evaluation.

I'm not with you, what does that mean?

I ask them to pose themselves a problem,

find a solution and evaluate it.

- So they judge their own work? - Exactly.

Amazing!

And you?

Are you in the best conditions for teaching?

Have you nothing to say?

If I may, I'd like to use the non-method as a method

and have the infinite as a limit.

Maybe he meant we feel limited.

It's all right to be careful, but experimentation...

always has risk margins

that have to be faced with imagination and courage.

I had problems with the teaching materials.

Knowing English today is fundamental,

there should be no limits in teaching.

And what about history? How can we properly understand things today

if we don't know our origins,

and on the other hand 'historia magistra vitae'.

And then it's Baltic.

So you feel censured,

unable to fully express yourselves.

This is very serious.

You have a talent... that's unique.

And I won't let anyone get in the way of your genius!

Well, 'censured' seems like a bit of an exaggeration,

- let's say... - Headmaster,

you're not thinking as a manager.

What are you doing, taking sides against your collaborators?

What collaborators, Aristide?

- These people are mad. - You know how important

is the mission that has been entrusted to these teachers.

The Ministry, the Government,

the whole country is watching you.

So from today you will have... carte blanche.

Suffer to learn!

Goats! Goats!

Not even goats!

Not even goats!

Sir?

Mr Golia?

Luca... get me out of here!

- Sir... what do you want to do? - Go!

- What do you want to do? - Punch!

Punch, go! Punch!

Punch, I said

- Help! - Harder!

- Help! - What are you doing, Cheeta?

What do you want?

- Camilla, I can't see, move. - Why are you pulling my hair?

Concentrate, guys, stay concentrated.

You have to maintain a constant velocity.

Cover in a time T an identical space S.

Space over time equals velocity.

After Caesar's speech,

everyone's mood changed in a surprising way.

Everyone felt a great desire to act,

a great desire to fight!

Long live the Emperor! Hail Caesar.

Not even the snow could stop the great soldier.

'Ave fratres'!

You always make me look bad.

Always.

"Man is born free but everywhere he is in chains..."

Headmaster...

they're naked.

They're studying happiness in the state of nature.

Rousseau.

It's in the programme.

- What are you doing? - I'm documenting.

These people are mad, we have to defend ourselves.

Now I'll put the video online and we'll see what happens.

You know you're being a spy?

- You're not listening, are you? - No.

- And you'll put it all online. - Yes.

In that case it should be done well. Roberti', give me the backing.

The hand of the clock isn't moving

From the window I see a kite

Flying with the hope of seeing at the end of the year "Passed"

Can I go to the bathroom, sir?

I'm thinking of everything but this class

Ten years in this school I could be the janitor

You could at least give me a diploma ad honorem

My friends study on the street

In their own way they're chemical geniuses

They make good stuff, teacher tried it too

In all modesty I won the critics' prize

Bro, this school is full of loonies

The teachers are worse than the kids

Please, Dad, don't be pissed off

I blew the year, I can try again next year

This year too I'll study next year

Tell me what's the point despairing

My mum says I look like a junkie

Because I don't study and hang out with creeps

Hide the fireworks, the teachers are coming

I've been stood up more than a skittle

Gimme this kiss, I've been waiting a while

The best thing about this flop of a year

The teachers are coming...

"Welcome to Manzoni"

- We looked everywhere for him. - He never goes away without saying.

Oh, God, there he is!

Stop!

- Don't do anything silly. - What do you want to do?

Marketing.

Manzoni High School, eh, Manzoni.

Welcome.

Our teachers will be happy to answer any questions.

You'll find info on the tables, study programmes, brochures...

Right, let's see what stage you're at. Ready?

Go!

What is this thing? What is it?

Right, before anything else, this is a violation of privacy...

No, this is a personal insult...

but it is nice, can I see it again?

Being is being thrown out, therefore it exists,

and existing it is in an ecstatic condition.

Try to close your eyes to understand the concept better.

My goodness!

These materials are inherent in our history course.

- Thank you very much, sir. - For what?

There must be method in your madness.

Miss De Maria...

I think that if we, instead of...

Let's see what happens if I speak a little.

It's incredible, all these people listened to our track.

And it's all down to you!

It seems you got something right, oh.

The intention was more to teach a lesson, but...

You did really well, you made them all happy, and you know why?

You didn't obey anyone. You have to let yourself go, Cami'!

Go and put the beat on, let's give the people what they want.

- Go, Luca. - You know it. Give me the mic, bro.

Hands up, guys.

Let's give the people what they really want.

Everyone.

The hand of the clock isn't moving

From the window I see a kite

Flying with the hope of seeing at the end of the year "Passed"...

No more doctor's notes.

No excuses. Just you and me.

Eh, no, sir, you don't hit people with glasses.

My arse.

Help!

Help!

Yeah, dance, dance,

tomorrow there's the mock exams.

Fabbri, how do you always manage to spoil everything?

I think we're well above 50%,

at least 65!

Well, 68.

- Something more. - 69.

4.7.

What?

Only 4.7% passed the test.

Excuse me.

Give me a cigarette.

- Less than 5%. Are you listening? - All right, Carletto,

the time has come for you to understand.

I'll send you an address, come and join me.

- Where? - In the future.

"SIMPLY SCHOOL"

Welcome.

- What is this place? - This, Carlo, is my school.

Come, come and I'll show you the suites.

The classrooms.

Take a seat.

Sit down.

Silence!

These are the teachers.

- I've seen him before. - In a TV drama last year.

They're actors?

We have storytellers who write the lessons and actors who read them.

It works a lot better than with teachers.

- What does it cost to enrol? - A shameful amount, Carlo.

A shameful amount.

I invested everything.

But why? You have a good career, you're director of education.

Because I'm tired!

You've no idea. It's all politics.

I go to every meeting, parties, banquets...

I do favours, I say yes, I laugh at jokes!

I've had enough.

Thanks to this school, the only thing I'll have to do is count money.

Now I get it... you want Manzoni to close,

you always have. That way, for miles around,

there'll only be your school and the kids will have to pay.

Now you know the truth.

Last year I transferred all your teachers for no reason,

and this year I altered the algorithm

to give you the worst of the worst.

Why are you telling me this?

Because you're my only friend.

And happiness is only real if you share it.

Now, turning towards himself, he discovers the guilt.

The greater the genius, the more profoundly he discovers the guilt.

Kierkegaard.

And if you move, you're wrong.

Yeah.

Finally I understand you.

This is good, what is it?

Hello.

- We all ordered pizza? - Yes, all seven.

Not starting, Headmaster?

We'll give you a hand.

I'll get this.

Open the hood.

What's this?

There it is, there it is there.

Right, Headmaster. Try it now.

It was nothing

- Have a good evening. - Bye, Headmaster.

I know Beetles, the engine's in the back but the problem is at the front.

And the tube... turns.

- Headmaster! - Open up!

Let go!

Open up.

Headmaster!

Montini...

Montini... conned us all.

He chose you one by one, you want to know why?

Because you're the worst...

...teachers in Italy!

Damn Montini! ls that it?

We can't do anything?

The worst? My conscience is clean.

The conscience is always awareness of something that is,

otherwise we'd be maladjusted as long we continued to think

the infinite is better than the finite.

Can you open this?

My first year teaching and the school closes.

We have to cross the Rubicon.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes, but I can't explain it here.

Let's go somewhere safe.

OK, you want to steal the school leaving exam papers?

- Exactly. - How do we do that?

One step at a time.

First problem: get to the Ministry in Rome.

Sorted. We'll go with the bus for the demo.

- What demo? - There's always a demo in Rome, no?

- Demo equals police. - I'll deal with them.

Second problem.

The surveillance inside the Ministry.

We have to create a diversion.

All right.

Third problem. Find the exam papers.

- They'll be in a safe. - Safe, right, let's talk about that.

How do we open it?

No, no, no, no, no explosives, thank you.

It's kid's stuff to me. Trust me!

Let's trust him.

Let's trust him. All right, ladies and gentlemen,

as Julius Caesar would say, let's get to work.

Luca! Luca! Luca!

What are you doing out of class, eh?

Where are your teachers?

Pagliarulo!

Mother of God, Pagliarulo!

Damn. This is the last...

Stop, Luca, because if you run out...

You're only making your situation worse!

You need to stop, Pagliarulo!

Pagliarulo, stop!

Sir, sorry, I've wanted to do that since 3rd year.

Sit.

I'll make you wish...

If you move, I'll report you.

Four cheeses.

Oh, my God!

- They're stealing the exam. - Who?

The Magnificent Seven have gone to steal the school leaving exam. Look.

- Sir, excuse me... - Not now.

Your friend Cioncoloni and his companions have really done it now.

This way, Headmaster. I haven't finished with you, eh.

Come, come. Come!

Education Ministry.

"PLAN TO STEAL THE EXAM PAPERS"

Violating the Ministry, Headmaster, isn't just a crime.

It's sacrilege.

It's awful!

I can't even look at it.

I'm going to call the police, it's the thing to do, just one moment.

Right. But tidy up a bit here first,

- sort it out. - Yes.

Technically this is a crime scene,

- so I'd avoid touching... - It's a question of decorum.

Decorum, yes... there's the janitor,

- he usually deals with these things. - That's right.

But I don't want... anyone to see this shame.

Apart from me... and you.

Thank you, Headmaster, all right.

I'll do it all.

I'll still phone the police though, because maybe...

No signal.

Is there anyone out there who can hear me?

Luca, I'll make you pay for this, eh.

"MINISTRY OF EDUCATION"

A grenade?

Which is the right door? Maurizi, what way?

Those stairs down there.

Masks.

- What's happening? - Mice.

They're eating through the archives. Special intervention.

Work hard.

Look at this lot,

they've even got overalls! You looking for the safe?

Eh, I'm sorry, you're late.

You think we still use safes in the 21st century?

Every year, every year!

Where's the safe?

Come on! It's all IT now,

it's digital.

Don't be upset, at least you had a day out in Rome, didn't you?

A waste of time!

No, no, the papers will be on the Ministry sewer,

this is the Ministry, we use one of their PCs to get into their network.

Yes, but where's the computer? You need to ask him.

Nicely.

- Right, "Exam papers"? - Yes, that's it.

Where, though?

- Eh, you need the page... - Exactly, I can't find it...

- It's not working... - No, maybe...

Come on, I can't bear to watch this.

Right...

We need the password.

There's nothing to be done.

Try using the Locuratolo-Hawkins algorithm.

I developed it back in my Palo Alto days.

It finds every kind of password.

- Oh, look. - That's...

- Got it! - Come on!

- How do we print it? - I have to do everything, eh.

I'll take photos, one per page. Go.

- Go, go. - Mathematics.

- Got it! - Great.

Photo, to celebrate.

Are you here for the disinfestation?

Anna, can you free me, please?

"MONDAY 66 HOURS LOCKED UP"

Fabbri! At work already?

I spent... the weekend

locked in the basement.

And you couldn't open it, that's the thing with these fire doors.

No, it was Luca, he locked the door.

Fabbri, do you think we can blame the children for our errors?

It was Luca.

I'm going to report him.

I'll have him barred from every school in Italy.

Listen carefully because I'm not going to repeat it...

this is a fundamental day in your lives.

- Please, your mobiles. - Don't tell me you really did it.

Let's go.

It's yours.

Excuse me.

Mum?

I can't come today, what about tomorrow?

Lasagne? Don't make me decide now, please.

I love you as well. Bye.

Today we're going to do a new mock exam.

Again?

Again.

Use books, manuals, internet,

whatever, so long as you answer.

Yes, the important thing is that you learn the questions well.

Perfectly.

Precisely, precisely.

In case they were very similar

to those that come out in this year's exam, eh?

We'll go out in case you want to copy... consult with each other.

- Good luck. - Work hard.

Who's this?

No, Cioncoloni has taken my phone.

- Wait, I'll get him. - No, wait.

Let's have a look.

All right...

they stole the exam papers!

Wrong PIN.

What's wrong with this?

- What is it? - That's only ten minutes...

What happened?

It's humiliating.

Do you think we're idiots?

You stole the wrong papers.

They are those for middle school.

For middle school?

Eh, but we were close, though, no?

History teaches that being close to winning is different to winning.

What a shame after all that effort.

My niece is doing the middle school exam.

They're total morons.

They're heroes. Anyone can make a mistake.

Did you read the maths problem?

Gianni raises 600 cows...

- The cow one was really difficult. - It was!

They didn't do anything all year and think they can sort it like this!

What do you care? You'll pass anyway.

That's not the point, they're meant to help us, but they don't care.

They don't care if we learn, if we study, if we pass.

They're right. No one's waiting for us, Camilla.

Outside here, for us, there's nothing.

You? What do you want to be?

- A biologist. - Doesn't matter, you can't!

Everything you used to expect to find outside here doesn't exist now,

the last train left years ago and our generation missed it.

We have to walk, can't we at least enjoy the trip?

It's their fault if that's how things are!

They tried. They committed a federal crime.

- There are no federal crimes in Italy. - They committed an offence.

Who did they do it for?

Do you know?

For us.

They did it for us.

You mean it?

You're giving up your post?

What difference does it make?

Who am I kidding? I'm not a teacher.

Don't try it, Antonio.

Spin it any way you like, but the truth is that in two weeks

your pupils have their exam and you're abandoning them.

I'll do what I'm best at.

Sir?

- Are they doing classes down here? - Come, I need you.

- What is it? - Come, I'm forming a team.

You go ahead, I'll join you.

And now, my dear Luca, I'm going to teach you a lesson.

For the equipment you need written authorisation,

or module H75 with the protocol.

Why won't this work?

- Why won't it send!? - It'll be a stacking problem,

or a question of memory, no?

To hell with it! The school's closing anyway.

Or more likely the network cable is disconnected.

How do you judge a teacher?

With a score?

A number?

How do you judge the value of a teacher?

On the number of passes?

Or the number of fails?

One time a colleague said to me, "I'm harsh but precise,

I look at the arithmetic average, I had to fail 20 out of 25."

Precise?

You're incompetent.

Because not everything that counts can be counted,

and not everything that can be counted counts.

That's not mine. It's Einstein.

Because the school I believe in,

is one where you live every lesson with your body, mind and spirit.

Because the desire to learn, know, discover

is the most beautiful game we can play

Maybe our methods seemed a bit strange to you.

But I assure you we did all we could

to pass on to you what we believe in.

The purpose of school is to form the thought

to imagine a better world.

And it hands down poetry to love it.

And it teaches languages to know it.

And it forges strong bodies to pass through it.

And it provides the elements to build it.

All the elements.

When...

When you think back over these years,

they will be the best of your lives,

it happens to everyone.

It even happened to me.

And there's not a single day I don't wish I could go back to those desks

that gave me so much

anxiety and fear, joy, friendship,

happiness and love.

But I can't do that because no one can..

Because these are your desks now.

Because this is your moment.

And you have to live it to the full!

Help us to make you the people

who will build a better world tomorrow!

This means only one thing.

That it's time for us to kiss?

No, that you start studying properly.

We're the Manzoni kids!

And we're going to pass the exam!

"2 WEEKS TO THE EXAMS"

Get up, you sloths.

Come on, it's time, move.

Come on, Luca, hey!

Roll out, chubby. Come on.

Come on, we're starting!

Guys, all philosophy can be reduced to two great schools,

Aristotelian and Platonic, the concrete world and that of ideas.

Everything else is academic.

Incredible. I understand everything!

Let him drink, let him drink!

Please, help yourselves.

- We're sure this isn't doping, yeah? - No! It's all legal.

Fanfulla elixir, distilled and patented.

Cuttlefish Bones?

Pascoli? Montale! 1925,

23 lyrics.

A bit complicated, eh? What can we do?

- You can collect here. - Exactly. What?

- X at the second. - Oh, see? So we cut this...

X again, right, multiply...

- What comes out? There... - Right, this way...

1 over...

Right?

And for a very good Claudia, is there a Luca stepping up?

Break a leg.

What can we do here?

When a situation is complicated what can we do?

Can we simplify it?

For example, get rid of the X squared.

Are all those other Xs not a bit annoying?

- Yes, sir. - How do we get rid of them?

4 divided by X we can't get rid of.

But if we know that X tends to infinity, maybe yes,

that is 4 divided infinitely, 4 makes a number divided infinitely.

Were you not there that day? Didn't you care... We'll get there together:

- 4 divided by 2? - 2

- 4 divided by 4? - 1.

- 4 divided by 8? - Half.

- Always less! 4 divided by infinity? - Zero.

SQ?

- Get rid of all the Xs! - Of course!

5 minus zero, go! All of them... What's left?

This is your problem.

"THE EXAMS"

I've nothing against you personally...

but I find it dubious that...

- Fabbri, what's wrong? - Security.

- Who asked for this? - It's all legal, Headmaster,

with the signature of the president of the commission

- who technically is your superior. - Who is it?

Hello, Carlo.

Let's start with the searches.

I know all your tricks.

Cartridge belt on the wrist, the waist.

Pockets in the underwear. Poker player's sleeves.

Marcelletti's pacemaker.

Marcelletti a student from Rovigo, school leaving exam '94.

Pencil cases with false bottoms.

Fake prosthesis, plasters.

Inserts in the heel.

Have we found something here?

Ah, inhalers for asthmatics...

There is no communication with the outside world.

Last year someone tried with a drone.

You know what happened?

It was shot down.

Right, ladies and gentlemen,

you have 5 hours and 26 minutes.

You think you can do it?

Nice hair. Rasta!

Watch, it fell.

Pick up the thing that dropped...

that dropped as well... my fault, sorry, my fault.

Excuse me, let me through. Thank you.

Nice day, eh.

A really nice day!

My kids...

in there, fighting on their own.

And they made such an effort! They were so good.

- They gave their all. - And us?

Did we do enough?

I could maybe have done more.

Perfect teachers don't exist.

There exist those who've been through a lot,

the disillusioned, the tired,

the nervous, the bastards...

the ones with the problems everyone has.

But there are also teachers who, despite it all, still believe.

They try, they stimulate, they have hearts, basically.

Because there are and always will be

passionate teachers.

That's who you are.

I didn't know you, but...

I had the privilege of working with you.

You're going to make me cry.

"SECOND TEST"

It's broken.

I do everything, so I do,

this is incredible...

I've lost a contact lens as well.

I can't find my contact lens.

Damn lens...

Have you seen my contact lens?

I lost it.

All right, if anyone finds it,

let me know, eh.

It's hot, eh?

I can't finish, that pain in the arse has distracted me.

I've got this.

What do I do with this?

Claudia gave me it.

- What are you doing? - I'm...

stretching my legs a bit.

- You're trying to copy, eh? - Me? No.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me present...

the first fail!

That's enough!

Yes, Miss, I'm listening.

Camilla has nothing to say

"THE BOARDS"

There's 21 of us. 10 passed.

Less than 50%.

Manzoni is closing, guys.

Let's go outside for a moment.

One more, one more was all that was needed.

One school closes, another one opens.

Here.

Come and see us, I'll give you a discount.

I suggest you think carefully,

if you want to find a job.

Excuse me.

Now we're going for some fresh air,

let's understand if technically this is something

which could be done legally.

Headmaster!

- There's an urgent fax for you. - Already?

Sir, could you read this aloud, please?

"Following your request,"

"the ministerial commission"

"expels and suspends the pupil Luca Pagliarulo"

"with retroactive effect starting from the date of the request..."

That's impossible.

- What does it mean? - It means...

that Luca shouldn't have sat the exam!

I reported him to Ministry, he locked me in the basement for 66 hours!

They ordered your expulsion.

They ordered his expulsion!

And if I remember correctly,

the Ministry wanted a 50% pass rate,

and removing Luca,

we have a 50% pass rate!

Sir, what's happening?

What's happening is you saved the Manzoni! You're a hero!

- Now is the moment. - For what?

Excuse me... but technically it's all down to me!

"...ONE YEAR LATER"

There! I told you.

Every year.

Every year.

THE TEACHERS ARE COMING