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>> LaFonda: COMING UP ON
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"NEWSREADERS," LIBYA AND
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LEBANON -- CAN YOU TELL THE
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DIFFERENCE?
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ONE YOUNG BOY CLAIMS HE CAN.
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ALSO, ROLLED-UP HAM AND CHEESE,
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A COUPLE OF PICKLES, AND AN
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AMBIEN -- IT'S CALLED "TANCH,"
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AND IT'S THE NEW MEAL EVERYONE'S
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EATING BETWEEN MIDNIGHT AND
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2:00 A.M.
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ALSO, HUMANZEES -- MORE
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DANGEROUS THAN ORANGU-HUMANS?
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[ Australian accent ] ALL THAT
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AND MORE TONIGHT ON
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"REEF RUNNERS."
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AIR TRAVEL -- IT REALLY SUCKS,
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BUT IT DIDN'T USED TO.
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TO UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH AIR
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TRAVEL HAS CHANGED, WE
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SENT VETERAN WAR CORRESPONDENT
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SKIP REMING, WHO HAS NOT FLOWN
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FOR 35 YEARS, ON THE MOST
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TERRIFYING MISSION OF HIS LONG
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CAREER -- TO BOOK A FLIGHT.
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>> OURS IS A MOBILE CULTURE.
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IT'S ALMOST AS IF THE AMERICAN
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PUBLIC HAD WINGS.
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THESE DAYS, THE ONLY AMERICANS
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WHO DON'T FLY ARE THE ONES WHO
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SPENT THE FIRST FIVE CLICKS
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OUTSIDE SAIGON CLINGING TO THE
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TAIL OF AN EMBASSY CHOPPER.
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I COULD INTRODUCE YOU TO THAT
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GUY.
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WE'RE VERY CLOSE -- LIKE
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BROTHERS WHO WERE THEIR PARENTS'
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ONLY KID.
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HE'S ME.
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FLYING WASN'T ALWAYS A CHORE.
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IT USED TO BE A CHANCE TO RELAX,
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UNWIND, AND FINGER A STEWARDESS
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OR TWO.
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YOU COULD BRING YOUR LUCKY BOWIE
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KNIFE ABOARD AND JOIN THE PILOT
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IN THE COCKPIT FOR A MARTINI AND
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SOME HELEN KELLER JOKES.
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AND IT'S CHANGED BECAUSE OF ALL
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THE NEW REGULATIONS.
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THESE DAYS, THANKS TO THE TSA,
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AIRPORTS HAVE MORE RULES THAN A
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HOOKER WHO DOESN'T KISS.
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I SAT DOWN WITH
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DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY
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SPOKESPERSON RED KOZIOSCKO.
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RED WAS IN THE GAME WHEN ORVILLE
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AND WILBUR WRIGHT WERE STILL IN
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SHORT PANTS.
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I WROTE THAT.
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WELL, RED, YOU SEEM LIKE A GOOD
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EGG, BUT A LOT OF AMERICANS ARE
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SAYING NASTY THINGS ABOUT YOUR
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HENHOUSE.
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I WROTE THAT.
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"UNTRAINED AGENTS, INVASIVE
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SCREENING PROCEDURES, RACIAL
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PROFILING"...
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WHAT'S THAT ONE -- RACIAL
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PROFILING?
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YOU MEAN LIKE BUDDY HACKETT
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SAYING, "CHINAMEN CAN'T DRIVE"?
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>> [ CHUCKLES ]
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>> [ CHUCKLES ]
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>> NOT EXACTLY.
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IT'S UNFAIRLY SINGLING SOMEONE
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OUT BASED ON RACE.
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>> SO, SINGLING SOMEONE OUT
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FAIRLY IS OKAY?
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LIKE CHINAMEN?
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THEY CAN'T DRIVE.
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>> [ CHUCKLES ]
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CLASSIC HACKETT.
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>> OH, GIVE ME THE
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BACK BAY BOYS AND THE
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BY GUM RUMMY BROTHERS AND
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JACK BENNY ANY DAY.
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>> MM.
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>> YEAH.
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[ As Jack Benny ] OH, ROCHESTER!
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>> SIMPLER TIMES.
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>> OH, BENNY WAS A SISSY, AND
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ROCHESTER WAS HIS NEGRO.
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END OF STORY.
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BUT TO REALLY SEE HOW BAD AIR
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TRAVEL HAD BECOME, I'D HAVE TO
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BOOK A TICKET.
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I SETTLED ON EGYPT.
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>> SKIP, I HAVE TO STRONGLY
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ADVISE AGAINST VISITING EGYPT.
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THAT COUNTRY HAS CHANGED A LOT
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SINCE THE --
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>> LISTEN, RED.
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IN WWII, I WAS STATIONED ON AN
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ICE-CREAM BOAT OFF THE COAST OF
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HAMAMATSU, JAPAN, WITH A
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MIDSHIPMAN NAMED ANDREW VAJDA, A
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JERSEY GUY.
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AND EVERY NIGHT, WE USED TO TAKE
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A CRUISING YAWL TO THE BEACH,
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AND WE'D BEAT UP ON SOME JAPS
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JUST FOR FUN.
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I PICKED UP SOME KARATE, AND
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THEY PICKED UP SOME FISTS IN
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THEIR NOSES.
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TURNS OUT ONE OF THEM INVENTED
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JUDO.
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[ CHUCKLES ]
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>> LOOK, I'M NOT SAYING YOU
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CAN'T HANDLE YOURSELF, SKIPPER.
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I'M JUST SAYING, "WHY NOT" --
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>> RED, BUDDY.
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YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME.
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I PRACTICALLY INVENTED JUDO.
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COME ON. I'LL SHOW YA.
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>> I THROW MY BACK OUT TOWELING
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OFF AFTER A SHOWER.
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I CAN'T --
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>> AW, HELL.
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I THROW MY BACK OUT SO MUCH, I'M
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STARTING TO LIKE IT.
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WHERE'D YOU HURT YOUR BACK?
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IN THE FIRST "GULF WAR"?
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>> KOREA.
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>> KOREA?
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DID THEY HAVE A MEN'S DEPARTMENT
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WHERE YOU GOT THAT CONFLICT?
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>> CONFLICT?
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>> [ CHUCKLES ]
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>> OKAY, NAVY BOY!
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>> IT'S SHOW TIME!
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>> AAH! OH!
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[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
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AAAAAAH!
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>> [ YELLING INDISTINCTLY ]
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AFTER I VACUUMED THE FLOOR WITH
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THIS GUY, I CRACKED MY KNUCKLES
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AND HEADED OUT TO THE AIRPORT.
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MY BAGS WERE PACKED, MY TICKETS
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TO EGYPT SECURE, AND MY GAL AT
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THE OFFICE GAVE ME MY PILL
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CALENDAR.
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EH, JUST KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF IT,
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BOZO.
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I GOT IT.
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HEY, MY BUICK'S OUT THERE ON THE
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CURB.
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[ COIN FLIPS ]
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WASH HER UP FOR ME.
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I'LL BE BACK WHEN I'M BACK.
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IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG TO REALIZE
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WHAT ALL THE WHINING WAS ABOUT.
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>> PHOTO I.D.
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>> IT'S OKAY. I'M SKIP REMING.
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>> I NEED TO SEE A
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GOVERNMENT-ISSUED PHOTO I.D.
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>> YOU WANT AN I.D.?!
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HOW ABOUT THAT?!
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>> WE'RE NO LONGER TAKING
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BILLBOARDS.
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>> TIME TO FACE THE TSA HEAD-ON.
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I WROTE THAT.
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I HAVE NEVER TAKEN OFF MY SHOES
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AT A GENTLEMAN'S REQUEST IN MY
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LIFE.
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I'M NOT GONNA START NOW.
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>> OKAY.
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[ METAL DETECTOR BEEPS ]
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OH, SIR.
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ONE SECOND, SIR.
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>> SIR, ARE YOU SURE THERE'S NO
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MORE METAL ON YOU?
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>> I FORGOT.
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>> WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! SIR!
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PUT THE WEAPON ON THE BELT NOW!
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>> HUNTER THOMPSON GAVE ME THIS
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GUN.
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YOU'LL HAVE TO PRY IT FROM MY
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COLD, DEAD, FING--
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[ GRUNTS ]
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AW, ALL RIGHT.
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[ SIGHS ]
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>> OKAY, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO
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OPEN THIS UP.
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>> NO.
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THAT'S MY WIFE.
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GET YOUR HANDS OFF THAT, YOU JAP
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SON OF A BITCH!
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>> SIR.
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>> COME ON!
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GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME,
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COPPERS!
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JUDO! JUDO!
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COME ON! COME ON!
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>> LaFonda: [ CHUCKLES ]
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THANKS, SKIP.
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LATER ON IN OUR PROGRAM, THE
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CREDITS.
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AND...ANGELS.
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NEARLY 8 IN 10 AMERICANS BELIEVE
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IN THEM.
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WE'LL TELL YOU HOW TO USE THEIR
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GULLIBILITY TO YOUR FINANCIAL
213
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ADVANTAGE.
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BUT FIRST, WHAT ABOUT THE ANGELS
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WE HAVE RIGHT HERE ON EARTH?
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THEY'RE CALLED ROBOTS.
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THEY CLEAN OUR POOLS, BUILD OUR
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CARS, AND EVEN BOMB COUNTRIES
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WE'RE MAD AT.
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AND IN THE LATEST BREAKTHROUGH,
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ROBOTS ARE TREATING THE SICK?
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[ CHUCKLES ]
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HERE TO TAKE US INSIDE THIS
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CUTTING-EDGE MEDICAL TECHNOLOGY,
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AND TO ATTRACT YOUNGER VIEWERS,
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IS XANDRA DENT WITH
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"XANDRA'S TECHZINE."
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[ TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS ]
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>> THINK OF YOUR FAVORITE ROBOT.
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MINE'S VOLTRON.
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NOW, WHAT IF VOLTRON WERE HERE
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IN THIS HOSPITAL HELPING YOU GET
233
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HEALTHY?
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THAT'S THE IDEA BEHIND MED-X.
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MED-X COULD BE EPIC.
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RADFORD BRIST CREATED THIS
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AWESOME ROBOT THAT CONSTANTLY
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MONITORS AND DIAGNOSES PATIENTS.
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00:06:09,637 --> 00:06:10,937
HE SAYS IT COULD TOTALLY REBOOT
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HEALTHCARE.
241
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:12,805
>> MED-X CAN TAKE YOUR BLOOD
242
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PRESSURE, PERFORM AN X-RAY,
243
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ADMINISTER AN I.V., DIALYSIS
244
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TREATMENT, COLONOSCOPY.
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IT CAN EVEN DO --
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>> LET'S DO THAT.
247
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>> WHICH?
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>> COLONOSCOPY.
249
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>> OKAY.
250
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>> SOUNDS PRETTY KICK-ASS.
251
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BUT SOME MIGHT SAY THAT IT IS
252
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"ASS-KICKING," AS IN THEIRS.
253
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THESE CRITICS BELIEVE THAT MED-X
254
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IS NOT BOSS.
255
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THEY THINK THIS TECHNOLOGY IS,
256
00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:35,755
IN FACT, REDANKY.
257
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SO, WHY ARE YOU SO, LIKE,
258
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,670
BUTT-HURT OVER THIS ROBOT?
259
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>> NO MACHINE CAN DO WHAT I CAN
260
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DO.
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>> DR. HUGH BOWMAN IS CHIEF
262
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INTERNIST AT SAN JOSE REGIONAL
263
00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:46,142
HOSPITAL, WHERE HE'S WIDELY
264
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,979
RECOGNIZED AS BOTH BRILLIANT AND
265
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:48,805
AN ASSHOLE.
266
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:49,609
[ FLATLINE ]
267
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:50,880
>> LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING
268
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:52,178
THAT AN ALGORITHM CAN'T TEACH
269
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:53,879
YOU -- HOW TO LOOK A PATIENT IN
270
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,521
THE EYE AND TELL THEM THEY'RE
271
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:56,146
GOING TO DIE.
272
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,589
I DO THAT FIVE TIMES A DAY, AND
273
00:06:57,585 --> 00:06:58,815
I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'M GONNA LET
274
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,149
A BOX OF WIRES --
275
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:01,093
>> [ BEEPING ]
276
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:02,658
>> "RISING LEVELS OF STRESS AND
277
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:03,586
ANXIETY DETECTED?
278
00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:05,261
RECOMMENDATION -- DECREASE
279
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,858
STIMULANTS"?
280
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,261
"DECREASE" MEANS, LIKE, "LESS."
281
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,702
>> DON'T TELL ME WHAT WORDS
282
00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:11,128
MEAN.
283
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,531
>> YOU SEE, MED-X IS LIKE THE
284
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:13,903
SUPERHERO DAREDEVIL.
285
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:15,701
HE WAS BLIND, BUT HIS OTHER
286
00:07:15,703 --> 00:07:17,573
SENSES WERE SO ACUTE, HE COULD
287
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:19,241
ACTUALLY "SEE" BETTER THAN WE
288
00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:19,909
CAN.
289
00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,107
>> I ACTUALLY DRESSED UP AS
290
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:22,108
"HOT DAREDEVIL" FOR HALLOWEEN.
291
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,039
>> THIS IS SO AWESOME.
292
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,013
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ON
293
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:24,781
"XANDRA POINT OH."
294
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:25,878
>> IT'S ACTUALLY NOW CALLED
295
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,519
"CIRCUITZ," WITH A "Z."
296
00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:31,175
[ TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS ]
297
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,924
SO, THE ROBOT -- DOES IT HAVE
298
00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:33,620
SENSES?
299
00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:35,161
CAN IT, LIKE, SEE MY HAIR AND
300
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:36,185
HOW CUTE I LOOK?
301
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,589
>> WELL, IT MAY NOT BE ABLE TO
302
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,091
"SEE" LIKE WE CAN, BUT ITS
303
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:41,032
INSTRUMENTS CAN GATHER DATA FROM
304
00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:41,758
THE ENVIRONMENT.
305
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:43,032
>> COULD IT BECOME SMARTER THAN
306
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:43,630
HUMANS?
307
00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:44,831
>> I WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR.
308
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,002
>> COULD IT GET THE OTHER
309
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,539
MACHINES TO TURN AGAINST US?
310
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:48,065
>> I-I DON'T KNOW.
311
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:48,968
WELL, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
312
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,039
>> YOU KNOW, BY, LIKE, LOCKING
313
00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:51,067
DOORS, PUMPING OXYGEN OUT OF
314
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,641
ROOMS, UM, CAUSING ELEVATORS TO
315
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:52,970
FALL.
316
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:53,973
THAT SORT OF THING.
317
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:54,944
>> THAT'S, LIKE, MOVIE STUFF.
318
00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:55,712
THAT WOULDN'T HAPPEN.
319
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:56,609
>> I MEAN, THE MACHINE WAS
320
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:57,980
DESIGNED TO ELIMINATE DISEASE.
321
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,148
WHAT IF IT BEGINS TO SEE
322
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,746
HUMANITY ITSELF AS A DISEASE --
323
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:01,918
AS A CANCER THAT MUST BE
324
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:02,315
DESTROYED?
325
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,575
I MEAN, IF "THE MATRIX" HAS
326
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:04,594
TAUGHT US ANYTHING -- THE
327
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:04,985
ORIGINAL.
328
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:05,945
THE SEQUELS WERE TOTALLY
329
00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:07,293
JAR-JAR -- IT'S THAT ALL IT
330
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:09,017
TAKES FOR MACHINES TO RISE UP IS
331
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,762
ONE TINY GLITCH IN THE SOFTWARE,
332
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:11,928
AND THEN...
333
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:16,325
[ IMITATES EXPLOSIONS ]
334
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:17,329
PSSH!
335
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,570
[ CHUCKLES ]
336
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:19,897
>> WOW.
337
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,100
I GOT TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL.
338
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:23,702
COME ON!
339
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,580
>> IF WE DON'T SHUT THE MACHINES
340
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:29,706
DOWN, MED-X WILL KILL EVERYONE!
341
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,240
>> SHUT ALL THE MACHINES DOWN!
342
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,354
GET OUT OF THE WAY!
343
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,245
SHUT IT DOWN!
344
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:34,106
SHUT IT DOWN!
345
00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,654
IT'S ALREADY IN THE SYSTEM!
346
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,949
IT'S KILLING THESE PATIENTS!
347
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:38,851
>> WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!
348
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:39,922
>> THESE MACHINES ARE KEEPING
349
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:40,820
THEM ALIVE, YOU IDIOT!
350
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:41,221
[ GRUNTS ]
351
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,361
>> WE NEED TO UPLOAD THE KILL
352
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,855
CODES TO STOP MED-X!
353
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:44,587
[ GASPS ]
354
00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:46,032
GET OUT OF THE WAY, DOCTOR!
355
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,726
THIS IS TOTALLY AN EPIC FAIL.
356
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,028
>> YOU STILL DON'T GET IT, DO
357
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:49,329
YOU?
358
00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:50,299
IT'S ALREADY OVER.
359
00:08:50,297 --> 00:08:51,027
MED-X KILLS.
360
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,071
THAT'S WHAT IT DOES.
361
00:08:52,065 --> 00:08:53,025
THAT'S ALL IT DOES.
362
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,143
I WAS A FOOL TO RESIST IT.
363
00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:55,965
>> OW! OW!
364
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,039
>> SHUT IT DOWN!
365
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,137
>> I'LL HAVE IT!
366
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:01,008
>> [ SCREAMS ]
367
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:02,078
>> OH, NO!
368
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,745
MED-X KILLED THE POWER!
369
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:06,075
>> [ BEEPING ]
370
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:07,719
>> [ WHIMPERS ]
371
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,045
>> THIS HOSPITAL'S CONNECTED TO
372
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:09,919
THE POWER GRID.
373
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:11,177
THE POWER GRID'S CONNECTED TO
374
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:13,624
THE WHOLE CITY.
375
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:16,221
THE CITY TO THE WHOLE COUNTRY.
376
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,323
>> WE'RE PROBABLY THE LAST
377
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:18,334
PEOPLE ON EARTH.
378
00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:20,725
[ CELLPHONE RINGING ]
379
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:22,198
SAYS IT'S MY MOM.
380
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:23,955
BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
381
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,134
EVERYONE'S BEEN KILLED.
382
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,832
MED-X IS TRYING TO GET INSIDE MY
383
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,174
HEAD BY POSING AS SOMEONE I
384
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:28,698
LOVE!
385
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:29,272
[ SCREAMS ]
386
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,369
[ CELLPHONE CRASHES ]
387
00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,770
>> XANDRA.
388
00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:33,112
THERE'S NO TIME FOR FEAR.
389
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:33,966
ONLY COURAGE.
390
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,644
WE HAVE TO DO WHAT WE'VE BEEN
391
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:37,213
AFRAID TO DO -- WHAT WE NEED TO
392
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:37,710
DO.
393
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:38,251
>> YOU'RE RIGHT.
394
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,405
I DON'T WANT TO DIE WITHOUT EVER
395
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,082
HAVING DONE IT WITH A WHITE GUY.
396
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:41,681
>> YEP.
397
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:44,952
>> [ MOANING ]
398
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:46,252
RADFORD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
399
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:49,363
[ STATIC ]
400
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:51,286
>> THE MACHINES ARE COMING.
401
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,791
[ THUMPING ]
402
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:55,203
Oh, no.
403
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:57,665
Med-X is here.
404
00:09:57,665 --> 00:10:00,195
It's come to kill its creator.
405
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,670
And there's nothing I can do
406
00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:05,769
about it.
407
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:08,043
[ BREATHING DEEPLY ]
408
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:13,152
[ STATIC ]
409
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,016
>> LaFonda: [ CHUCKLES ]
410
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:15,845
UH.
411
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,149
TAKE TWO OF THOSE AND CALL ME IN
412
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,250
THE MORNING.
413
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:19,821
THANKS, XANDRA.
414
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,390
NEXT WEEK ON "NEWSREADERS," IT'S
415
00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:23,118
CALLED HALCYON MEADOWS, AND IT'S
416
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,893
THE SITE OF THE LARGEST RECORDED
417
00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:26,332
SYPHILIS OUTBREAK IN AMERICAN
418
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,156
HISTORY.
419
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,760
>> WELL, WHAT CAN I SAY?
420
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:30,262
OLD PEOPLE LOVE TO [BLEEP]
421
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,133
>> LaFonda: AND CELEBRITIES --
422
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,032
HOW DO THEY GET THEIR PANTS ON?
423
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,244
WE'LL GIVE YOU LEG-BY-LEG
424
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:35,865
UPDATES.
425
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,269
IF YOU WOULD LIKE A TRANSCRIPT
426
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:38,870
OF TONIGHT'S SHOW, PLEASE WRITE
427
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:40,272
TO US AND EXPLAIN WHY YOU WOULD
428
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:42,183
EVER WANT OR NEED THAT.
429
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,075
I'M LOUIS LaFONDA.
430
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:46,347
GOODNIGHT.
431
00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,191
>> COULD YOU TELL US A LITTLE
432
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:02,262
BIT ABOUT YOUR TSA EXPERIENCE?
433
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:03,502
>> WELL, I JUST WANT TO SAY
434
00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,966
THAT -- BABA BOOEY, BABA BOOEY!
435
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:06,165
HOWARD STERN'S PENIS!
436
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,096
>> SON OF A BI--
437
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,837
>> BABA BOOEY!
26925
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