All language subtitles for 1478

As in every stone of this size,
there is a flaw.

A flaw?

The slightest flaw,
Your Excellency.

If you look deep
into the stone

you will perceive
the tiniest discoloration.

It resembles an animal.

An animal?

A leaping panther.

Yes! A pink panther.

Come here, Dala.

A gift to your father
from his grateful people.

Someday it will be yours.

The most fabulous diamond
in all the world.

Come closer.

Okay. Thanks a lot, fellas.

Don't forget to
take the wardrobe back.

How do you want them,
matte or glossy?

I want it right away, Pierre.
Would you? I'm in a hurry.

You can't rush a genius.

I rush.

Thanks. And don't forget
about the wardrobe.

What you doing?

Where is everybody?

Hey, you,
come out of there!

Who is it?

Come out of there,
or we'll bust the door in!

Just a minute.

- Can I help you?
- Where is he?

- Where's who?
- You know who. George Lytton.

He owes me $40,000
and nobody welshes on Big Joe.

Now, look, Big Joe,
I'm not a bill collector.

I'm a photographer.
Just took his picture.

- What kind of a picture?
- Graduation picture.

- His what?
- Graduation.

Get him!

They're worth half a million,
but we'll settle for $300,000.

I'll do what I can,
but the merchandise is extremely hot.

You stay here.
Come with me.

Come on!

- Pardon, madame.
- Yes, certainly.

She's gone down.
Come on!

We must find that woman.

What was that?
What'd you say?

We don't have much
of a description.

About 5'7", black hair,
wearing a light beige coat.

And the fools let that fence escape.
He might have talked.

We will catch him.

We must.

We must find that woman.

She is our first positive link
with the Phantom.

Yes?

Your wife to
see you, Inspector.

Send her in, please.

All right, Henri,
that will be all.

Hello, my darling.

My angel.

Amber, how are you?

Hello, Duchess.
So glad you could come.

Have fun, children.

Hello. How are you?
Hello, darling!

Hello.

You know Monica?

Oh, but of course.
You were simply stunning in your last film.

- What's he say?
- He says hello

and he would like you
to meet his cousin.

His third cousin.

Oh, well, I guess that does
make a difference.

- Who's that?
- Princess Dala.

Oh. Oh. Excuse me.

Yes?

Miss Angela Dunning.

Yes?

Your Highness?

Yes.

Well, here I am again,
Your Highness.

I was just having a cocktail party
and I saw you driving by,

I'm having this
lovely party tonight

and I just know
you'd enjoy it.

There will be a lot of fun people there
and you would just love it.

Ah!

Your Highness!

Hello there. I can't tell you
what an honor this is.

Everyone's just
dying to meet you.

Allow me, Princess.

- Good morning, Your Highness.
- Good morning.

- You're a wonderful skier.
- Thank you.

Help! Help! Help!

Somebody's taking
my sleigh. Amber.

- Amber?
- My dog.

Leave this to me, ma'am.

- What happened?
- Well, I don't know.

Suddenly there was
a man with a gun,

and he took
the sleigh and Amber.

We'll only be here
for a few days, my darling.

It will be a wonderful chance for
a beautiful vacation.

- I'm sorry.
- Wait, get it off.

Excuse me. I'm...
My leg is caught.

I apologize
for this inconvenience.

- Do you know who that was?
- No.

- That was Sir Charles.
- Sir Charles?

- Sir Charles Lytton.
- Really?

Yes.

I am Inspector Clouseau.
This is Madame Clouseau.

All right. Thank you.

Oh, I'm sorry,
my darling.

It's all right,
my darling.

Excuse me, please.

- You know that you're really amazing?
- So you've said.

Mmm-hmm.

How you can manage
on a police inspector's salary?

I ask you, how many women
could save enough out of their housekeeping

to buy such a beautiful
mink coat as this?

Well, it's not easy.

You are a constant
and desirable contradiction.

Oh, I'm simply
a woman in love, my darling.

My darling.

I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry, my darling. Please excuse me.
- It's all right.

No, it's
perfectly all right.

- Oh, did I hurt you? Are you all right?
- Yes, I'm fine.

- You sure now?
- Yes, I am.

My darling, I'm so sorry.

Darling, I have a little
business to conclude with the manager.

Yes?

After which, I'll return to you
immediately.

Bye, darling.

It's all right, my dear.

Hello.

How did it go?

Perfectly.

Come in.

Her Highness, Princess Dala,
is concerned about your injuries.

Oh, well, please
thank the Princess,

and tell her that there's nothing to
be concerned about.

It's really not too serious.

In that case, Her Highness
has instructed me

to invite you for dinner this evening,
8:00 at her chalet.

Oh, thank the Princess.
I'd be delighted to come.

- Ispettore. Buon giorno.
- Buon giorno.

I understand you already know Signor Tucker
from Lloyd's of London.

- Hello, again.
- Hello, old bean.

Your company insures
the Pink Panther.

Yes,
for half a million.

- Pounds?
- Sterling.

The Phantom could not
resist such a prize as the Pink Panther.

He will most certainly
make an attempt.

But when he does,
I shall be waiting for him. Excuse me.

If I understand
your theory, gentlemen,

the Phantom is one
of Miss Dunning's guests.

That is the theory, yes.
I would like to have from you

the names of those guests,
also the location of their rooms.

Of course!

I assume that the Princess Dala
has the jewel with her.

She'd only tell me
it was in a safe place.

So I suppose if it isn't here,
it's at her villa in Rome.

My men are watching
that villa.

With such foresight and planning,
how can the Phantom succeed?

With such foresight
and planning,

he's already succeeded
for 20 years.

It's a great mistake
to underestimate him,

as the inspector
can tell you.

The shrewdest, cleverest,
most ingenious criminal in all the world.

And you have
never even seen him?

Well,
I've seen him once,

five years ago,
got a fleeting glimpse...

Excuse me.

Got a fleeting glimpse of him
as he made his getaway.

In a strange way, you know,
one has to admire this man.

His, how would you say,
unique flair for the dramatic.

He actually waved
goodbye to me.

Fascinating.

But this time, gentlemen,
I shall be waving goodbye to him

on his way to prison.

Good evening.

- Thank you.
- Make yourself comfortable.

Her Highness will
join you in a moment.

- May I give you a drink?
- Oh, I'd like a brandy, thank you.

Oh!

Your Highness.

Good evening,
Sir Charles.

Any news from the police
about your dear little dog?

They expect I'll receive
a ransom note.

I want you to know that I am deeply grateful
for what you tried to do.

Ma'am, it was nothing.
Nothing.

Thank you.

Please sit down.

- Aren't you drinking?
- I don't drink.

Not ever?

I'm quite content
with reality.

I have no need
for escape.

I enjoy reality as much
as the next man.

It's just that in
my case, fortunately,

reality includes a good stiff belt
every now and then.

On the other hand,
I don't smoke.

You're right.
It's a nasty habit.

Well, here's to all those nasty little habits
that we hold so dear.

L'Chaim.

I beg your pardon?

Well, let's just say
in this case, it means, "Your health,

"and thank you for
inviting me to dinner."

It's not often I have the chance to dine alone
with a beautiful princess.

I hate to disappoint you,
Sir Charles,

but I'm afraid
this isn't the night.

- But I understood that...
- Oh, we're having dinner, but not alone.

Yoo-hoo!

Hello!

At last! Hello!

We've been through icicles
up to our you-know-whats!

Oh, Your Highness!

I think it's just too darling of you
to invite me here tonight.

You just made
Cortina for me.

Hello, lover.

Oh, hello, dear boy.

Now, don't you move
a muscle, darling.

Isn't he wonderful,
Your Highness?

Such a magnificent sacrifice.

Good evening, sir.

- May I have a cigarette, my darling?
- Yes, of course, my darling.

There you are, my love.

Thank you.

- Yes, sir?
- Scotch on the rocks.

Mmm-hmm.

- Oh.
- Thank you.

My pleasure.

Thank you very much.

Say, I'm looking for my uncle,
Sir Charles Lytton.

- Darling.
- May I get you some water?

Hold your hands
over your head.

Yes, my darling.
Bend forward.

Oh, darling, I'm sorry.

Are you all right?

Are you all right,
my darling? What?

My darling?

I'll be right back.

Yes, darling.

Please.

Yes, she's got a cough
in her throat, you know.

Hmm.

And what do you think?

She turned out to be a man!

It's true!
It's quite true!

You know, Your Highness,
you really must let me give you a party.

And I can positively
guarantee it'll be a party to end all parties.

I'm sure it will.

Perhaps Her Highness
has other plans.

On the contrary.
Sounds like fun.

Will you include Sir Charles?

Oh, no. Charles is having
a fling in Capri.

He has his own parties.

Yes, I've read about
some of his parties.

They're wonderful.
We call him the juggler.

I've never really
known a man like him.

He can keep 10 girls in the air at once
and make each one happy.

Amazing. Sort of
a contemporary Don Juan.

- That's it.
- Ah...

but there's a difference.

Sir Charles predecessor
was forced to climb balconies and fight duels,

and, as I understand it,
keep his women separate and apart.

Now, Charles, on the other hand,
drives a Ferrari,

enters with a key,
and resorts to collective bargaining.

Ooh, ooh!

But they both have
something in common.

And what's that,
Your Highness?

Maybe it's best forgotten.

Oh, don't be silly.
Charles doesn't mind.

Everyone takes a potshot at Charles
sooner or later.

Go ahead, ma'am, shoot.

Well, it seems to me,
any middle-aged bachelor

who has never desired
the basic rewards of wife and family,

and finds it necessary
to occupy the major portion of his life

making one conquest
after another

is trying to prove something that he can
never possibly prove.

And what's that?

That he's a man.

Wow! You're joking!

It's somewhat complicated,
but basically sound.

- Well, Charles?
- Not very original.

That particular theory has become rather
a tired Freudian cliche.

But true.

I wouldn't know.
I've never been on the couch.

Not true.
That's part of your problem.

How refreshing
to find royalty

possessed of such
a perceptive wit.

Well, Charles, are you going to
take that lying down?

Yes, as a matter of fact.

Ma'am, my leg is
hurting rather badly.

May I be excused?

Well, I'll be damned.

I can't believe it.

- The leg?
- I haven't the faintest idea.

Well, that just goes to prove
there's a first time for everything.

Got a terrific laugh, anyway.

Simone!

- Jacques?
- Yes, my love.

I'm still cold.

Perhaps another blanket,
my darling.

Yes. All right, darling.

There you are,
my darling.

- Jacques?
- Yes, darling?

The light.

Mmm-hmm.

- Jacques?
- What, my darling?

I'm sorry, my darling,
it doesn't help.

Oh.

Perhaps a hot
glass of milk.

But I think the room service
has finished, my love.

Oh, yes, of course.
I forgot.

You see? There's no...

They're all gone now.

Oh, well, no matter.

There you see.

If my little pigeon
wants a glass of milk

she shall have one

even if I have to force them
to open the kitchen.

She shall have milk
wherever she goes, hot or cold.

- Hot.
- Yeah, I know. That's what I said, hot.

Put it there.

Charles?

Darling? Honey,
I've got to talk to you.

Darling, I've sent Jacques for some milk.
I only have a moment.

Well, let's make
the most of it.

No! Stop it.

- But it was your idea.
- Yes, but you're the wrong...

The wrong what? Man?
Do you think I was...

No, no. I thought you were exactly who you are,
but I'm too impulsive.

I mean, this is not
the right way.

- Another time.
- Huh?

Here you are, my beloved.

Thank you.

It's all they had.

Can't get a thing
in this hotel.

I had to force them
to give me that.

Never mind.

My darling,
lovely darling.

- Oh!
- What's wrong?

My darling, your feet
are like two icicles.

Have you been out
of bed or something?

No, of course not.

Oh, well, anyway,
you warm them on me, eh.

Hello.

This is Princess Dala.
My guests have gone

and I thought perhaps
you would come back and have a drink.

I would feel better
if we're friends.

Oh, I would, too,
and I'd love to come,

but my leg
is rather painful.

I'm sorry. Another time.

Why don't you come up here?

Because my leg is only bad
if I walk too much and I thought maybe

you could do the walking
and I could do the drinking.

Unless, of course, you think
it would be indiscreet

to come to a man's room.

I'll be there
in five minutes.

Goodbye, Sir Charles.

Goodbye.

Oh, Jacques?

Yes, dear?

Oh, I don't know
what's wrong.

I'm just a bundle
of nerves.

Oh, don't worry.
We've solved that problem before.

- You don't mean...
- Of course.

Oh, Jacques,
I don't think you should.

Don't worry, my darling.

I shall do it
ever so softly.

Oh, Jacques,
are you sure?

My darling, of course.
It's always worked before.

There's no reason why
it should not work now.

You just relax
and leave everything to me.

Jacques?

- Yes, my darling?
- I really don't think it's such a good idea.

You mean
that's not helping?

I'm afraid not.
I think I'll just take a sleeping pill.

Very well, my darling.
I'll get it for you.

Why don't you
take one yourself? I...

You need the rest,
you know.

Yes, I think,
perhaps I will then.

Here, my darling.

- Thank you, my angel.
- Thank you, my angel.

My poor Jacques.

No matter.

When you've seen
one Stradivarius, you've seen them all.

Ma'am.

I hadn't realized
it was so late.

Come in, sit down.
Relax.

Have a nice glass
of champagne.

I told you I don't drink.

Oh, champagne's not drinking.

That's the minimum of alcohol
and the maximum of companionship.

It's still against
my principles.

Oh, that's too bad.

I thought it might
break the ice.

You took me to task
rather properly tonight.

No, thank you.

I thought your analysis
was very perceptive.

But not very polite.

No, it wasn't.

What made you do it?

I resented you.

I find it hard to understand a man
of your reputation.

You know,
we both have reputations.

Perhaps mine is a little more highly
publicized than yours,

but you have presented
the press with a rather definite image.

Yes, I know.

- Well, are you?
- What?

What they call you,
"the virgin queen."

I'm not a queen.

That's only
half an answer.

The strong-willed ruler of 10 million people,
sitting in her ivory tower

untouched, unwed,
and unapproachable.

If you had known my father,
you would understand me.

He was an absolute ruler.

He governed his people
with an iron hand,

but he gave me a white pony
for my fifth birthday.

He was wrong about
many things,

but he made his decisions
according to the ways of his predecessors.

I learned the way
of the West,

so I've become
a little of both.

A paradox.

And it is hard to
reconcile the extremes.

Have a glass
of champagne.

Does wonders
for extremes.

It's been known to launch
some lasting friendships.

Don't you trust me?

No.

Are you afraid?

No.

L'Chaim.

I was three years old
when I rode my first elephant.

I was six when I went
on my first safrari.

Frasari.

Wild-animal hunt.

And I was 10 when
I bagged my first tiger.

But I'll never forget
my lovely little pony.

When did you bag him?

Hmm?

Oh, you're making fun again.

You really
don't like animals.

Don't trust a man
who doesn't care about animals.

And don't trust an animal
who doesn't care about people.

Why you don't like people?

I like people.

Oh.

That's supposed to
be me who doesn't

like people, right?

If you say so.

I don't say so,

you say so. Right?

I said so.

And another thing you did,
you didn't tell me the truth.

- About what?
- About champagne. About this.

Oh, boy, did you fib.

You said

something about extremes.

It does wonders for them.

It does more than that.

It makes your lips numb.

I can't feel them.
Are they still there?

Let's have a look.

You didn't tell me
about that part.

Won't do you any good.
I can't feel it.

"Hoisted on your
own petard."

Oh.

Don't try to say that
when you haven't got any lips.

I'm plastered.

If that's
the right expression.

Yes, that's
the right expression.

You're a fraud
and a liar.

And you think you are going
to take advantage of me.

Oh, no.
You think I am.

I know you are.
That's the plan, isn't it?

Feed me champagne,

break down the inhibitions,
and tallyho!

No more virgin queen.

Oh!

We're all out
of champagne.

- I'll get another bottle.
- Oh, no!

I prefer
to remain conscious

so I may view
the attempted seduction at firsthand.

Because you got
a surprise coming, Charlie.

I got friends
in low places.

You make one pass at me
and I'll sic him on you.

Understand?

If he moves a muscle,
attack without mercy.

You see, Charlie?

You're outnumbered,
two against one.

And I don't care
if you can juggle.

What?

I didn't say anything.

Hmm?

Cat got your tongue?

Got his tongue?
Mmm-mmm.

My friend says
he hasn't got it.

Then why don't you
say something?

I couldn't think
of anything to say.

Why don't you
kiss me again?

All right.

You know what, Charlie?

I could feel that one.

Again.

If I were my father,
I'd have you tortured.

No, if you were your father,

I doubt very much
if I would have kissed you.

Good thinking, Charlie.

Then, now that
we've straightened out who I am,

what are you going
to do about it?

What kind of
a friend are you?

You were supposed
to attack.

No friends, Charlie.

Now you got me outnumbered.

I thought we were friends.

You're the juggler.
I am the virgin queen.

Somebody's got to win.

Friends don't act like that.

Want to be friends,
Charlie, or want to win?

You really want to know?

No.

Oh, Charlie.

What's wrong?

I don't feel...
I think I'm going...

Goodbye, Charlie.

Hey.

Dala?

Darling? Dala?

Ma'am? Your Highness!

Thank you. Up!

There we are.

Hello, Uncle Charles.

George!

Hello. Good morning.

Listen,
what about this nephew?

- How did you find out?
- Well, I met him in the bar last night.

That's what I was
trying to explain to you at the window.

What happened to you?

Jacques. He found me

and dragged me back
to the hotel.

- I looked everywhere for you.
- Well, I looked everywhere for you.

In fact, I nearly climbed in bed
with your nephew.

- You what?
- Don't worry. I took care of it.

Whew.

He had kind of
a heavy night.

I almost put
the Princess in bed with him.

Really?

What you got there?

A note, "Uncle Charles.

"Dear Uncle Charles,
don't worry about a thing.

"I've gone to see the Princess
to apologize for last night."

Apologize for what?
Nothing happened.

It must have been
rather embarrassing,

expecting to end up
with one man...

She didn't expect to
wind up with anybody.

She just had a couple glasses of champagne
and then had to rest awhile.

Of course.

Think of him
taking over my room.

What? Didn't you
know he was coming?

No. I haven't
seen him for years.

But who is he?
What is he?

He is my nephew, really.

He's my late brother's son.

And I've been responsible for him ever
since he was 10 years old.

I sent him to
all the best schools in America.

He did very well,
as a matter of fact.

He's just graduated
from college. Look.

Isn't he a bit
old for school?

Well, he did two years
in the army.

Then he lost another
whole year after that

to some strange
tropical disease.

Anyway, he's certainly
attractive.

Well, it's a slight
family resemblance.

But apart from that,
we have nothing in common.

He's dedicated
to education.

He passed at
the top of his class.

Cares nothing
about sports.

And in all his letters
he's written,

he's never once
mentioned girls.

Well, he may not
mention them,

but he's got a pretty good idea
what they are.

In fact, I nearly didn't get
out of here last night.

- You're joking.
- No.

It was a relief to
get back to Jacques and his fiddle.

Still, if we don't do
something pretty soon,

he's going to
ruin everything.

You mean if
I don't do something.

It shouldn't be
too difficult.

He's just a young man
who's not been out in the world.

That's because he's been spending
all his time in the bedroom.

I'm surprised at you.

Oh, I can handle it.

As a matter of fact,
it might be rather intriguing,

particularly if the family resemblance
goes deeper than you think.

I'm envious.

Well, it seems that we're somewhat in
the same spot, my love.

You envy George,
and I envy the Princess.

I really don't know
what I'm going to do yet.

I might even go back to college
and get my doctorate.

But I'm torn.

I feel there's so many things
to be done in the world.

So many backward countries
where I might be useful.

I've even been considering
the Peace Corps.

You're certainly not
much like your uncle.

Well, I don't know
too much about my uncle

except what I've read
in the newspapers and magazines.

But one certainly
mustn't judge by that.

- No?
- No.

After all, whatever I am today,
he made it possible.

I guess everyone has at least one
redeeming quality.

Yes.

Good morning, Your Highness.
Hair of the dog.

May I present
Madame Clouseau?

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Madame, this is my
highly Americanized nephew, George.

- Yes, we met at the bar last night.
- Yes.

How is your cough?

Oh, it's completely gone,
thank you.

Ma'am, you should have
a glass of this. It'll work wonders for you.

With everything in
its right perspective.

My perspective is
excellent this morning.

I see your leg
is much better.

It's a vast
improvement, ma'am.

Thank you.
Very much better.

You know, George and I
had a wonderful family reunion last night

after we carried you home.

- He's quite a lad.
- So I've discovered.

You know, he's thinking of joining
the Peace Corps.

Imagine, a Lytton
in the Peace Corps.

Be very careful.
You'll be giving the family a good name.

- Please sit down.
- No, thank you.

I was on my way to ski
when I ran into Sir Charles.

But, do you ski, Mr. Lytton?

Ski?

- No, not very well.
- You should learn, George.

If it wasn't for this ropy leg of mine,
I'd take you in hand myself.

I'm hardly in
your uncle's class,

but I'd be happy to give you
the benefit of my experience.

I'm sure madame is
an excellent teacher.

Certainly she'd get
you started out right.

Well, if it wouldn't be
too much trouble, yeah.

Not at all.
It would be a pleasure.

Perhaps you'd like
to come along now.

George, you can't pass up
an invitation like that.

Uncle Charles,
I haven't got the proper clothes,

and I don't have
any skis.

The shop will fix you up.

Just charge
everything to me.

Thanks.

Your Highness,
hope to see you again.

If you're back early,
I'm leaving on the afternoon train.

- Have a nice trip.
- Thank you.

- Thanks, Uncle Charles.
- Have fun.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

And mind the instructor.
She knows what she's doing.

I'm sure she does.

- You're not staying?
- No. We're off to the slopes.

I'll get the door.
So long, Uncle Charles.

- Have fun. There you are.
- Thanks.

Just in time. Thank you.
You sure you won't join me?

Quite sure.

Do you really have to
leave this afternoon?

Yes.

- Isn't this departure rather sudden?
- Not at all.

Why do you think so?

Well, I just thought
that after last night...

My leaving has nothing to do
with last night.

Hasn't it?

You don't know me
very well, Sir Charles.

No, but I thought last night
I was making some progress.

That was champagne,
nothing more.

Well, whatever it was,
it was very interesting.

- I really don't remember.
- Come on now.

That's such an awful old cliche,
"I don't remember."

It's true.

You know,
the majority of women,

they have half
a glass too much

and let down
the barriers a little.

Then they wake up
in the morning riddled with guilt,

and think they can
reclaim their virtue

by saying,
"I don't remember."

Are you saying
my virtue is not intact?

You know it is.

Then why should
I feel guilty?

You're not concerned
about what happened.

You're worried about
what might have happened.

That makes you vulnerable.
That makes you a woman.

You're an arrogant fool.

Perhaps I am,
but after what I just said,

a real woman would've
slapped my face.

- Whew, I'm glad that's over. Friends again?
- Friends.

Good. Now the least
you can do

is let me take you
to the station.

All right.

You really have
to go, though?

Yes, I must go.

Oh, that's too bad.

Nothing I can say
to make you stay?

Nothing.

- What time do you have to be there?
- 3:00.

3:00, on the dot,
I'll be here. Your Highness.

3:00.

Look, do we have to
start the lessons right away?

That's what we're up
here for, is it not?

I was hoping we could
talk about last night.

We can talk
about that later.

You were more fun in bed.

Would you do me a favor,
Mr. Lytton?

Sure, if you
call me George.

Forget about last night.
I was impetuous.

I had too much to drink
and I'd just had a fight with my husband.

That might make it easier
for you to forget,

but I didn't sleep
a wink after you left.

It was a very
frustrating experience.

I'm afraid that's your problem,
but I wouldn't make any plan.

Oh, I never make any plans.
I just, sort of,

follow my instincts,
you know.

George, it's four miles down the mountain,
and I'm a very good skier.

You follow your
instincts too closely

and you're liable
to break your neck.

Now, the first things to learn about skiing
are the fundamentals.

Let's see you turn around.

It's not as easy
as it looks.

Let me give you a hand.

Ah.

- Let's try something easier.
- Now, George!

It's a lot easier, honest.
You have to...

I thought you were going to
watch those instincts.

I'm busy.
You watch them.

- You're abominable.
- Yeah.

That's me,
the abominable snowman.

Now, George, stop it!

Oh, George!

Imbecile!

Perhaps we'll meet again.

Goodbye, Sir Charles.

Just a minute.

- That's him. There he goes.
- Who?

The man who stole your dog,
in that little car.

Ho!

Whoa!

- How's it going?
- Fine. I'm going to miss her.

Let that be
a lesson to you.

Never get too involved
with your victims.

Shall we get out
in the open?

No. It's a bit
hard here. Come on.

That's good.
That's okay. All right.

Right, start,
give it to me now.

Now my turn.

- How close are they?
- Now.

- Sorry. Ready?
- Right.

Come along, little doggy.
Here we are.

Look out!

She's got the dog.
I will see you later.

You have
a wonderful smile.

I have a great deal
to smile about.

I have Amber back,
and I'm having a wonderful time.

You missed your train.

There's one at midnight
and one in the morning.

Perhaps I should arrange to have your
dog kidnapped again.

Then you'd be
bound to stay.

Did you arrange to
have her kidnapped the first time?

Of course.

Well, I am willing to
bet you 10,000 francs

that the Phantom
is in Cortina at this very moment,

even, perhaps,
in this very room.

How exciting.
What do you think, Mr. Tucker?

Oh, I agree
with the Inspector.

You see, 10 of his last 15 victims have been guests
at Angela Dunning's parties.

What are you all
talking about?

The notorious Phantom.

I'm afraid I've never
heard of him.

What little
I've read about him,

he seems to be
quite a fellow.

Believe me,
there are few thieves

who are as clever
as the Phantom.

Each theft is completely
different and unique,

classic in its conception.

Well, I thought
you were working on the theory

that he does
repeat himself.

Well, only as far as Angela Dunning's
parties are concerned.

However, there is
one other duplication,

but that is
his trademark,

his calling card,
so to speak.

He always leaves
a white monogrammed glove.

Sounds terribly theatrical.

You know, Your Highness,
if I were the Phantom,

I'd have chosen
my victim already.

Really?
And who would that be?

Well, who has the most fabulous
diamond in the world?

I suppose I do.

Exactly.
The Pink Panther.

Such a prize
he could never resist.

He would be bound
to try for it.

I'm afraid he'd
be disappointed.

The Pink Panther
is in my safe at...

Your Highness,
please.

Don't say it,
not here.

If I'm not being too nosy,
Your Highness,

I read somewhere
that there was some dispute

over the ownership
of the Pink Panther.

It belongs to me.

It was a gift
from my late father.

I shall never
surrender it.

Why should you?

When the present
government seized power,

they claimed the diamond
was the property of the people.

There's even some talk
of the International Court deciding the issue.

I'll tell you what.
Why don't I steal the diamond,

leave that old glove
or whatever it is behind,

and you and I could
split the insurance.

All right.

I feel like dancing.

- Your Highness?
- I'd love to.

How about you, madame?

Yes, of course.

- Your leg is better, Sir Charles.
- What?

I say,
your leg is better.

Oh, yes, much better.
Thank you.

You know, Mr. Tucker...

Mmm-hmm?

- That's my beer, old man.
- My hand. It burned. I'm sorry.

Sit down.

Seems to be working out
better than we expected.

The only thing we've found out is
that it's not here.

Well, you shouldn't have
any trouble discovering exactly where it is.

Her Highness seems to be
completely captivated.

I'd say that's a considerable
exaggeration.

You're either showing
a touch of senility,

or you need glasses,
my love.

When I'm showing
my senility, darling,

you'll be occupying your time
with your grandchildren.

One has to have children
before one has grandchildren.

You wouldn't dare.

Jacques would make
a wonderful father.

He has many redeeming
qualities, you know.

Name one.

He's kind, loyal,
faithful, obedient.

You're either married
to a Boy Scout or a Dachshund.

And he adores me.

That eliminates
the Boy Scouts.

- Good night.
- Thank you.

You seem to have
lost something.

Yes.

How'd you like
to borrow mine?

Oh, thanks, Uncle Charles, yes.

Madame.

You've been avoiding me.

That about describes it.

You know what
I've been thinking?

Yes. That's why
I've been avoiding you.

I don't think you were really looking
for me that night

in my uncle's bedroom.

- Don't be ridiculous.
- No, I mean it.

Not the way you
treated me today.

- You know what I think?
- What?

Well, I...

Oh, yeah.

What do you think, George?

Well, I think
maybe I was wrong.

Mmm-hmm?

I'm sorry I have to leave,
but I must make a very important phone call.

- Can't it wait?
- I'm afraid not. Good night.

That's better.

Just a quick shower, my love,
and I will be right with you.

One moment, please.

Hello? Oh.

Inspector Clouseau.

Inspector Clouseau,
this is the Prefect of Police.

- I have information regarding the Phantom.
- The Phantom?

Yes. You must come at once.
I'm in Brunico.

Brunico?
But that's in Brunico.

I mean, that's
30 miles from here.

It is here that I have
discovered the information.

It's imperative that
you come immediately.

I cannot say more.
I am being watched.

Yes. I understand, yes.

I'm sorry, my darling.

Important police business.

I will be back with you
as soon as possible.

I understand,
my love.

- My darling.
- Yes?

I am a husband that must be envied
by all other husbands.

I'm sure no one
ever had a husband like you.

My darling.

Mmm.

My darling, don't move.
Don't panic.

All that has happened
is that my hat is caught

in one of your
naughty little hairpins.

Voila.

You know,
at times like this

I wish I was but
a simple peasant.

It's times like this that make me realize
how lucky I really am.

He's gone to Brunico.
Another call about the Phantom.

Hmm.

There's something
going on.

I don't quite know what it is,
but there's something wrong.

Do you want to
call it off?

I don't know.
I'm considering it.

Have you considered
something else?

What's that?

The possibility that
you're growing a conscience.

A conscience?
About what?

The Princess.

- You're being ridiculous.
- No, I'm just being a woman.

This time you've chosen yourself
a fascinating victim.

I suspect you've broken
the first rule

and allowed yourself
to become involved.

You're being a woman,
all right.

That's obvious. Competition always
makes a woman obvious.

- Who is it?
- Bellboy.

Wait a minute.

What is it?

Flowers.

- George!
- Trick or treat.

- Now, wait a minute.
- I found these growing in the hall.

Well, you get
right out of here.

Now, what kind of
hospitality is that?

But, listen, my husband
could be back any minute.

He must be about
halfway to Brunico by now.

"You must come to Brunico
immediately, Inspector.

"I have information
regarding the Phantom."

And while you're in Brunico,
waiting for the Prefect of Police,

- I shall be...
- Thank you very much.

I shall be investigating
your wife.

One never knows, huh?

Perhaps the Phantom
is hiding under the bed.

George.

Well, that's more like it.

Now, you should be
ashamed of yourself.

I'm planning on it.

- Suppose Jacques doesn't go to Brunico?
- Not a chance.

Suppose he finds out
the Prefect never really called him?

- You're beautiful.
- Now, stop this, George.

- You must get out of here.
- You're the damnedest woman I've met.

What are you?
A sexual yo-yo?

First you jump in my bed,
then you push me off a mountain.

Then you practically seduce me
on the dance floor.

Now, look, George, you're terribly attractive,
and I'm naturally...

- But not here.
- Where?

Oh, I don't know,
but not tonight.

You know what
your trouble is?

You just can't
make up your mind.

- Well, I am married.
- And where's your husband?

Out in 12 feet of snow,
chasing the Phantom.

- That was your idea.
- Sure it was.

But if he was any kind of a man,
he wouldn't have gone.

- Darling.
- "Darling"?

It's locked.

There you are.
Halfway to Brunico, huh?

Angel?

What do I do?

Answer the door.

- Simone?
- Yes, dear?

But, Jacques,
I thought you were on your...

That phone call was a ruse.

Oh, dear, are you hurt,
my darling?

I don't recall
that being there.

No, it was sent a while ago.
I thought it was from you.

No, it certainly
was not from me.

Some very strange
things going on here.

I passed the Prefect
on the road.

He never made that call.

No?

No.

There was no card with these?

No.

Why should anybody
want me to go to Brunico?

Oh, my darling.

- I'm so sorry. I was trying to kiss your foot.
- That's all right, my dear.

- Let me kiss your face.
- No, it's all right.

Darling, I'm sorry.
Come here.

- That's nice and comfortable on the bed there.
- No, it's all right.

My darling.

Listen, dear.

Why don't we go down to the bar
and have a nightcap, huh?

My darling, listen,
why don't I have a nice bath?

And afterwards,
we have our lovely, warm bed.

Don't worry about this mess.
We can have it cleaned up later.

We don't want any
more interruptions.

Why, dear, would you mind
if I bathed first?

My dear, did you
not bathe earlier?

Yes, I did, but it would warm me up,
help me to relax.

All right, my darling. I'll tell you what we'll do,
like we did in the old days.

When you're in there,
I will come in and scrub your back for you.

Oh, you're so romantic,
but I'll only be a moment.

- Darling?
- Yes?

- Hello, my darling.
- Hello, my darling.

Why did you
draw the curtains?

Just to keep me warm.

Warm? Warm is one thing.
It must be hell in there.

No, it's wonderful.

Why don't you let me
wash your back for you?

Oh, it's already done,
my darling.

As I told you before,
I just want to relax.

We must have no secrets
from one another, my darling.

Yeah, I know,
my darling.

I will brush my teeth
and keep you company.

Oh, that's sweet
of you, my darling.

Hello?

Ispettore?

I thought you
would like to know

Princess Dala has
just checked out.

Thank you very much.

Oh, darling, you got rid of all those
naughty little bubbles?

I beg your pardon?

I said, you got rid
of those naughty little bubbles?

Yes, I did.

Hey, come...

Come out, quick.

- Who is it?
- Bellboy.

One minute.

Yes?

- Inspector's violin, madame.
- Oh, thank you very much.

- Thank you.
- Madame, the flowers.

No, no. It's nothing at all.
Doesn't matter.

Oh. But I must. If they
found out downstairs, I'd lose my job.

- Do it in the morning.
- It will only take a moment.

I'll ring for the maid.

- Darling?
- Yes, dear?

How would you like
to wash my back?

Oh, I'd love to,
but you see I have to...

I mean, I have...
Well, I'm cold.

- Cold?
- Yes.

- Get the broom.
- Uh, but...

Come on. Hurry up. Go.

Shan't be a moment, my darling.
I'll just put on my pajamas.

- Darling.
- Yes?

Look. I think I've got something
in my right eye.

- Let me put you in the...
- No, I mean, the left...

No, no, no, this one.

- I told you...
- If you don't come in the light, darling.

But, darling.
It hurts!

Well, then, stand still for a moment.
I can't see it.

Yes, dear, but help.
I cannot open it.

Stand in
the light a moment.

- Where? Now, where, where, where?
- Right here.

Here.

There's absolutely nothing
in your eye, my darling.

Is there nothing?
Are you sure?

Only your eye.
That's all that is there.

What are you doing?

It won't go on.

Put it back. We have no time.
He's coming back.

Get under the bed.
Come on. Quick.

Come on.

Aha!

Why aren't you in bed,
my darling?

I was, I mean...

I mean I was just...
I'm just going, dear.

I'm cold.

My Stradivarius.

Yes, the porter
just brought it in.

I sent it to the village
to be repaired.

I just hope they know how
to fix plastic.

I hope so, too.

So far, so good.

We shall see.

Better than ever.

Dear, I doubt if we shall
need it tonight, my love.

I'm sure we won't, darling.

What is it?

It's very strange.

Jacques!

- Yes?
- Why don't you come to bed?

You know,
I don't understand this.

You see,

these footprints,

they were...

They were made by shoes,

and they were
not made by feet.

Now, I'll just
turn off the light.

At last.

Darling, my little...

Darling? What's the matter,
my darling?

It's very strange, my love,
but suddenly I'm freezing cold.

You're freezing cold?

Oh, the window
is open.

Oh, the window's open.

Well, you know, sometimes it's healthy
to have a little fresh air.

Healthy is one thing,
but it's hell in here, my love.

Ten below zero outside,
my darling.

That's better.

There, my darling.

Yes.

At last!

Yes?

I just arrived in town.
No trouble with the police, yet.

But I understand
the Princess is expecting

some important visitors
here tomorrow.

She say anything
about leaving?

Who is this?

- Yes?
- Princess Dala, please.

Her Highness checked out
a short while ago.

Uncle Charles.

Oh, oh!

Whoa.

What did you say?
What did you say?

I said he could come
as one of the Borgias,

and then he wouldn't
have to explain his cousin.

- What's a Borgia?
- Yeah.

Good evening.

I mean, I enjoy
champagne in bed

as much as
the next man, my angel,

but from now on, perhaps a more
practical approach?

Oh, I'm sorry, my darling,
I just wanted to surprise you, that's all.

Well, it's been
a night of surprises.

You can say that again.

It's been...

Anyway. Anyway.

- My love?
- Yes?

Shall I say
you're not here?

No, it's all right, darling.
I'll answer it.

Yes?

Oh, Tucker here, Inspector.

The man who kidnapped the dog
was driving a rented car.

He's been identified
as a man named Artoff.

Now, London informs us
that a man of his description

is at present employed
by Sir Charles Lytton.

I see. Come up immediately.

- Sir Charles!
- Sir Charles?

He's the Phantom!

I've really got
him this time.

Sir Charles?
Open that door.

I know you're in there,
Sir Charles.

Open up.
This is the police.

Stand back while I fire.

No, don't do that,
old man.

Jacques knows.

And somebody else.

George has got
my do-it-yourself Phantom kit.

I've got to
get out of here.

Well, his clothes
are still here.

Perhaps he's
already escaped.

Most unlikely.

He doesn't realize
that I am onto him.

Now listen, old man.

After all, we've no proof that Artoff was actually
the man driving the Innocenti.

Sir Charles is our man.

My every instinct
tells me so.

Careful, you fool.
You realize this gun is loaded?

What I must do now
is get dressed

and search
the rest of the hotel.

- Did you find him?
- No, but he can't be far.

I must dress quickly
and get...

- It's gone.
- What's gone?

My coat!

My surete Scotland-Yard-type
mackintosh! It's gone!

Good evening,
Inspector.

What is it, Saloud?

Inspector Clouseau.

Your Highness,
please excuse this interruption.

I have news of
great importance.

This is Mr. Tucker
of Lloyd's of London.

And we have met before.

I've met her, too,
you know.

Yes, I know, but we are
meeting her again now.

What is this news?

Your Highness, I have discovered
the identity of the Phantom.

- You don't say.
- I do say.

Of course
we're not positive.

I am positive.

He is, I believe,
at this very moment, here in Rome.

- Really?
- Yes.

Have you seen or heard
from Sir Charles Lytton?

Not since
I left Cortina. Why?

Sir Charles and the Phantom
are one and the same.

You're not serious.

I am serious.

I can understand how difficult
it is for Your Highness to accept the facts.

Sir Charles is a very persuasive
and attractive man.

He is also Sir Charles Lytton,
a man of considerable influence and reputation.

She's got quite
a point there, you know.

He is a fraud,
and I shall prove it.

Meanwhile, I would
like your permission, Your Highness,

to surround the house
with armed guards.

I take it the gem
is in the villa.

It is.

But as you
gentlemen know,

I'm having a rather large party
this evening.

I assure you, your guests will be caused
no embarrassment whatsoever.

They will not even be aware
that my men are present in their disguises.

In that case,
you have my permission.

Thank you.

Your Highness,
mark my words.

If Sir Charles
is foolish enough

to attempt to steal
your diamond tonight,

you will be witness
to the capture of the notorious Phantom.

Gentlemen.

The plans will
have to be changed.

No.

We just have to make sure
that Sir Charles doesn't steal the jewel.

- Hello.
- Hello, Tucker.

- Like a drink?
- No, thank you.

I never drink
whilst I'm on duty.

You should know that.
Never, never, never.

- Oh, well, cheers.
- Cheers.

Warm.

Yes, it must be
hell in there.

Bet it's not so
good in there.

Anything suspicious?

No, no.
Nothing to worry about.

My men are everywhere,
mingling here, mingling there.

Watching all the time,
watching.

How dare you drink whilst you're on duty?
Who is inside there?

- Sergeant Walter!
- Sergeant Quinn.

Anymore behavior like this
and I'll have your stripes.

Now, get out of here
and start mingling again.

Quite funny that,
the zebra and the stripes.

Oh, yes, yes,
very good, very good.

Not bad, not bad.

Well, I think
I'll mingle.

All right.

Didn't I tell you
that I'd make this

the biggest social
success of the year?

Yes, certainly you did.

Well, the only thing
worries me is, of course,

what do we do
for your next one?

How can I possibly
top this?

I'm sure you'll think
of something.

- Excuse me.
- Of course, love. Have a ball!

Hello, you!

May I see
your invitation, please?

All right.

Wasn't there another gorilla
in a Rolls-Royce?

Yes, probably
a rich uncle.

You see, gentlemen?
Perfectly safe.

One cannot be too careful,
Your Highness.

This party, all your
guests wearing masks.

It was just possible that the Phantom
had already done his work.

Without an invitation,

how could Sir Charles
get past your guards?

Where the Phantom
is concerned, Your Highness...

What's wrong?

Shh.

What are you doing?

The question is,
what are you doing?

I protest!

Remove your head
at once!

Tucker,
remove his head.

Oh, good grief,
it's our ambassador.

Ambassador?

My apologies,
Lord Cravenwood.

The Inspector was only acting
with the best of motives.

Your Highness.

Oh, really, Lord Cravenwood,
what would your wife think?

- What's he got that I haven't got?
- George!

In the flesh.

What are you doing here?

Tarzan let me use
the car tonight.

Listen, I've got
to talk to you.

You've got to
get out of here.

But, darling.

Lord Cravenwood, I'm so terribly sorry
about what happened.

You see, I was discussing
important things with Her Highness,

and when I discovered you
outside the library door, naturally, I thought...

- The ambassador.
- Yes, I know.

You know, darling, you haven't danced with me
all evening, my angel.

Oh, I'm sorry, my darling.

That's all for now.

Pardon me! I'm lost.

I must have gotten off the road,
the main road.

I'm on my way to Frascati.

You'll have to go down the road
about a half mile.

You'll see a sign.

Turn right. It'll take you
right to the highway.

Excuse me, dear, but I've got to talk
to Lord Cravenwood.

It's extremely important.

That's okay.
He's making me itch, anyway.

Fine.

Now, listen to me.

I know what you're up to,
and it won't work.

You'll ruin everything.

Excuse me,
Your Excellency.

May I cut in?
Thank you so much, sir.

Are you having
a good time?

- Yes, extremely good time.
- Good.

Fine party, Angela darling.

Wait till you see
the fireworks at midnight.

Hello, old boy.
May I have this dance?

I never learned to dance.
I've just simply got natural rhythm, you know.

You're quite right.

By Jove, that looked...
It is! It's Sir Charles!

Tucker!

Inspector!

Tucker!

Tucker! Tucker!

Inspector!

Take your filthy
hands off my asp.

Tucker!

- Charles?
- Where's the safe?

In the library.
George is robbing it.

- Which way?
- Come on.

- But it's not midnight yet.
- But they turned the lights out.

Her Highness must
have changed her mind.

All right.

Be careful.
I can't see a thing.

Tucker? Tucker,
where are you? Tucker!

Watch where
you're going!

Tucker.

Tucker!

Tucker, Tucker, Tucker.

Tucker!

It's hell in here.

Oh.

A candle! Tucker!

- Hey, waiter, you got a match?
- Oh, yes, sir.

Quick, quick.

Tucker. Tucker.

Tucker. Tucker.

What kind of
a candle is this?

In there. George is
in the gorilla suit.

- Gorilla?
- Good luck.

♪ Rule, Britannia!
Britannia, rule the waves! ♪

♪ Britons never, never,
never shall be slaves! ♪

♪ Rule, Britannia!
Britannia, rule the waves! ♪

Oh, I say!

Tucker! Tucker!

Tucker!

Inspector! Inspector!

Oh, Inspector,
Sir Charles is here.

- George?
- Uncle Charles?

- Have you got it?
- No. Haven't you?

No. The safe's empty.

What's that?

Somebody's been
highly dishonest.

Follow me, men.

You idiots!
They're getting away from us!

Help me to my feet, someone.
Mr. Tucker! Mr. Tucker! Okay.

After them!
Come on, Tucker!

Come back! It's me!

Come on now!
Faster! Faster!

They're getting away! Hurry!

What's the matter with you?
Can't you drive this thing faster?

Tucker, you're wrong.
Come on! Quick!

I tell you, this is
the road they've gone up.

Don't argue with me!

I'm telling you
I know where they've gone.

Now, George, any idea
how we get out of here?

I don't know. I've been
all over this place.

I've been up this street,
up that one, up that one.

How we gonna
get out of here?

Why don't you try
the high road up there?

Okay, I'll take the high road.
You take the low road.

So long,
Uncle Charles.

Ciao, George.

Who taught you
to drive this thing?

- I see them! That's them!
- No, it isn't!

Tucker! Tucker!

Then, when I was thrown out of college,
I made up my mind.

I decided to live a little.

I knew if I continued
my academic endeavors

I could depend upon
that check of yours every month.

You know what I did?

I took a plush
Hollywood apartment,

surrounded myself with all of the advantages
of a wealthy bachelor,

then I sent you
glowing reports

of a brilliant
academic career.

Well, I suppose
a certain amount of dishonesty

is bound to beget
a certain amount of dishonesty.

- Hey!
- But, Inspector...

Come on, please.
I have not much time.

Better be right
this time.

Good morning, gentlemen.

- Good morning, Inspector.
- Good morning, Inspector.

Guillotine all
sharp and shiny?

Just thought
you'd like to know,

the trial is all set
for tomorrow morning.

Shouldn't take too long.

Well, that sounds encouraging.

Yes, it's encouraging for me,
but bad for you.

Have some coffee,
Inspector.

You know, you two
could save yourself a lot of trouble

if you would tell me
where the jewel is.

Tuck into some
of that porridge.

It's guaranteed
good for sleuthing.

You refuse to cooperate?

We've offered you
porridge and coffee.

It's all that's left.

Well, I'm glad that
you're enjoying yourselves,

because you're going to be here
for the next 20 years.

Madame Clouseau.

Your Highness.

Madame.

Won't you sit down?

I'll be brief
and to the point.

My husband feels
he has enough evidence

to prove that
Sir Charles is the Phantom

and to convict George
as his accomplice.

As I see it,
they only have one chance.

What is that?

If Your Highness
were to testify on their behalf,

somehow convince
the jury that, well,

they didn't even
take the diamond.

- You surprise me, madame.
- I expect to.

And I'm taking the chance
that you will keep what I'm about to tell you

in the strictest confidence.

I think I can guess.

It's not too difficult.

Being the wife of
Inspector Clouseau,

you could have been
very helpful to Charles.

I have been.

Was stealing my dog
all part of the plan?

That was the plan.

But I think you should know
that Charles wanted to call it off.

You've had it all the time.
You stole the jewel yourself

before the International Court
made its decision.

I'd gladly sacrifice it
to save Charles, but it's not so simple.

Couldn't you say you just found it
on the grounds or something?

They'd just claim he dropped it
making his escape.

No. To save Charles,
we must prove that someone else stole it.

But we'd never be
able to do that.

I have an idea.

The trial
is in its third day.

Seldom in the history
of Italian jurisprudence

has a trial created
such intense excitement.

Thousands of people,

and it is interesting to note,
most of them women,

have gathered daily,
hoping to catch a glimpse of Sir Charles Lytton,

the man accused of being
the notorious Phantom.

The court adjourned yesterday,
as the defense requested time

to investigate certain new,
important evidence.

And it is rumored
that when the court convenes today,

the defense will call
a surprise witness.

The defense has only one witness,
Mr. President.

Would you please call
Inspector Jacques Clouseau to the stand?

Me, a defense witness?

Inspector Clouseau?

Nothing to worry about,
my darling.

You'll make fools
out of them.

Inspector Clouseau,
you have testified under oath

to certain pertinent facts
concerning this case.

Your testimony
and your testimony alone

has been a major factor
in casting suspicion on the defendant.

Aside from
the Phantom himself,

you are the foremost
authority on the Phantom.

I have made the Phantom
my life's work.

You've testified that the Phantom has been
a frequent guest

at the numerous parties
given by Miss Angela Dunning.

That is correct, yes.

You've testified it was either during
or sometime soon afterwards

that certain of Miss Dunning's guests
were robbed of their jewels.

Yes.

How many times
did this happen?

Sixteen.

Sixteen parties,
16 thefts?

Yes.

Has Sir Charles attended
all 16 of those parties?

All of them.

And how many of those parties
did you attend, Inspector?

All of them.

Oh, that's very interesting.

You attended the first party
when the jewels were stolen?

Yes.

The jewels were stolen
during or after the party?

After.

So, then you knew
they were going to be stolen?

Well, yes.

How did you know?

Because that is
the modus operandi of the Phantom.

He always works that way.

I see.

Were the same people
always present at each party?

Oh, no,
the guest lists varied.

Outside of Sir Charles,

was anybody else always present
at each of these parties?

Uh...

No. No. No.

Only Sir Charles was present at each party
when there was a robbery?

Yes. Yes.

I see.

And what about you?

- Me?
- Yes, you.

- What about me?
- Well, you were there.

Yes.

Well, then Sir Charles was not the only one who
was present at each party.

What are you suggesting?

I'm not suggesting
anything yet.

Inspector Clouseau?

Hmm?

How much money do you make?

What has this
got to do with it?

Well, your salary. How much
does a police inspector get paid?

Well, you know, I...

Enough to buy a wife
a $10,000 mink coat?

No, of course not.

You're aware that
your wife spent $7,000

at Yves Saint Laurent
only last month?

What?

And two months
before that, $4,000.

- That's impossible.
- We know for a fact that your wife

spent at least $30,000 on clothes
during the past year.

Sir, my wife is very frugal.

She saves out of
the housekeeping money.

$30,000 out of
the housekeeping money.

Yeah, we've been
married for 10 years.

About the time that
these robberies began,

and the notorious Phantom
came into existence, correct?

Yes! No, no, not correct!

Of course not correct.
Of course...

All right, wait, wait.
You see...

It's not Sir Charles!

He must be the Phantom!

It must be the Inspector.

- But I just can't...
- The Inspector.

- He's the Phantom!
- I refuse...

Now then...

He's not Sir Charles.

No, no.
No, I'm not the Phantom!

No, no. Please! Please!

Thank you, darling.

Thank to the Princess.

Look at that.

You're wrong!
I'm not the Phantom!

No, no, no!
I'm not the Phantom!

We can't just let
him rot in prison.

Oh, it takes years
for people to rot.

Besides, when the Phantom
strikes again,

the Inspector will be
as free as a bird.

Want to come to
South America, George? Family rates?

I wouldn't miss it,
Uncle Charles.

That's good.

Who knows, when I retire,
you might take over the business.

Go back! Go home!

Crazy woman.

She's the one who tried to tear off
all his clothes.

My wife.

Wife?

You can thank my mother
for the flowers.

You're a national hero.
I envy you.

I'm going to prison.

A few years,
but after you get out...

Tell me, Inspector,

Signor Phantom,

all those robberies,
how did you ever manage it?

Well, you know,

it wasn't easy.