All language subtitles for S01E18 The Slice of Life

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,234 ( harmonica wails ) 2 00:00:06,234 --> 00:00:11,567 ( theme music playing ) 3 00:00:44,133 --> 00:00:46,133 ( laughing ) 4 00:00:53,067 --> 00:00:55,133 HERE, MOM. ADD THESE. 5 00:00:55,133 --> 00:00:58,067 WELL, THAT'S JUST WHAT THESE TRIPLE-FUDGE BROWNIES NEED: 6 00:00:58,067 --> 00:01:00,067 MORE CHOCOLATE. 7 00:01:00,067 --> 00:01:02,234 WHAT ARE THE OTHER GIRLS BRINGING TO THE SLUMBER PARTY? 8 00:01:02,234 --> 00:01:03,901 INSULIN? 9 00:01:03,901 --> 00:01:05,200 MOTHER, PLEASE. 10 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,234 HEY, BECK, CHECK IT OUT. 11 00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,667 - WHAT IS IT? - IT'S AN 8-TRACK. 12 00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:15,267 IT'S LIKE A BLAST FROM THE PAST, MAN. 13 00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:17,901 MOTHER, TELL YOUR HUSBAND THESE ARE THE '80s. 14 00:01:17,901 --> 00:01:21,300 WELL, BECKY, I GUESS YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW THE GRIM TRUTH. 15 00:01:21,300 --> 00:01:25,534 Roseanne: YOUR FATHER IS FROZEN IN TIME. 16 00:01:25,534 --> 00:01:27,801 WE'RE JUST GONNA SKIP THE '80s 17 00:01:27,801 --> 00:01:30,434 AND TRY TO THAW HIM OUT IN THE '90s. 18 00:01:30,434 --> 00:01:33,300 GO AHEAD AND TAKE IT. IT'LL BE TRIPPY. 19 00:01:34,667 --> 00:01:36,300 I'M GONNA GO PACK. 20 00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:38,167 ( kisses ) 21 00:01:39,234 --> 00:01:40,567 FAR OUT! 22 00:01:41,834 --> 00:01:43,667 HEY, WHAT TIME'S YOUR GAME? 23 00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:45,400 I DON'T KNOW. AROUND 3:00. 24 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,234 - HOW'S THE ARM, SPORT? - OKAY, I GUESS. 25 00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:51,300 HEY, I'M ALL SET FOR THE GAME. HEY, NOW, BATTER! 26 00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:55,067 HEY, BATTER! WE BETTER! WE BETTER! WE BATTER! 27 00:01:55,067 --> 00:01:57,667 - HOLD IT. - WHAT NOW? 28 00:01:57,667 --> 00:02:01,467 THE LANFORD LIGHTNING BOLT AIN'T GOING NO PLACE WITHOUT BREAKFAST. 29 00:02:01,467 --> 00:02:05,300 I'M JUST GOING OUT TO THE GARAGE TO GET MY GLOVE, OKAY? 30 00:02:08,367 --> 00:02:10,868 YOU KNOW, IT COMES TO ME, DAN, THAT OUR MIDDLE CHILD 31 00:02:10,868 --> 00:02:13,000 IS KIND OF, HOW DO YOU SAY, OUT OF SORTS. 32 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,601 PREGAME JITTERS. I USED TO GET 'EM MYSELF. 33 00:02:15,601 --> 00:02:17,901 ALL YOUR GREAT ONES DO. 34 00:02:17,901 --> 00:02:20,634 YEAH, WELL, HOW SOON BEFORE THE GAME DO THESE HERE JITTERS SET IN? 35 00:02:20,634 --> 00:02:23,734 'CAUSE SHE'S BEEN FLYING OFF THE HANDLE FOR TWO WEEKS. 36 00:02:23,734 --> 00:02:26,000 SEEMS LIKE BUSINESS AS USUAL TO ME. 37 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,868 WELL, GUESS AGAIN. 38 00:02:27,868 --> 00:02:31,300 DARLENE THE CHOCOLATE QUEEN JUST WALKED BY A PLATE OF TRIPLE FUDGE BROWNIES 39 00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:32,968 WITHOUT EVEN BREAKING STRIDE. 40 00:02:32,968 --> 00:02:35,067 SHE'S IN TRAINING, BABE. 41 00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:37,467 WELL, THANK YOU, THE AMAZING CONNER, 42 00:02:37,467 --> 00:02:44,133 FOR UNRAVELING YET ANOTHER SPORTS-RELATED MYSTERY. 43 00:02:44,133 --> 00:02:46,934 YEAH, FIRST YOU'RE GONNA FIELD SOME BREAKFAST. 44 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,934 - FINE. - HEY, KIDDO. 45 00:02:48,934 --> 00:02:52,000 I'M GONNA REALLY TRY TO MAKE IT OVER THERE TODAY, BUT IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD. 46 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,133 I'VE GOTTA POUR A DRIVEWAY OVER ON THE WEST SIDE. 47 00:02:54,133 --> 00:02:55,801 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT'S OKAY. 48 00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:58,834 BUT I'M GONNA BE THERE. 49 00:02:58,834 --> 00:03:00,767 CAN'T YOU GUYS JUST LEAVE ME ALONE? 50 00:03:00,767 --> 00:03:02,667 I DON'T NEED YOU THERE TO WATCH ME PITCH. 51 00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:05,801 PITCH, PITCH, PITCH. ALL SHE EVER DOES IS PITCH. 52 00:03:12,033 --> 00:03:13,567 WHERE'S MOM? 53 00:03:13,567 --> 00:03:15,634 SHE AND D.J. WENT TO WASH THE CAR. 54 00:03:15,634 --> 00:03:18,133 - SHE SAY WHEN SHE'D BE BACK? - NOPE. 55 00:03:18,133 --> 00:03:20,334 SHE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT COMING TO MY GAME? 56 00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:23,434 - NOT TO ME. WHY? - NOTHING. 57 00:03:23,434 --> 00:03:25,601 WILL YOU BE MAD IF SHE MISSES THE GAME? 58 00:03:25,601 --> 00:03:28,734 MY LIFE WOULD BE PERFECT IF SHE MISSED THE GAME. 59 00:03:28,734 --> 00:03:32,000 IT'S ALREADY HALFWAY PERFECT. DAD'S NOT GONNA BE THERE. 60 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,968 THEY GETTIN' ON YOUR NERVES? 61 00:03:33,968 --> 00:03:37,868 BECKY, EVERY TIME THEY COME TO ONE OF MY GAMES, DAD JUST STARTS YELLING, 62 00:03:37,868 --> 00:03:42,334 "WE BETTER! WE BETTER! WE BETTER! SWING, BATTER!" 63 00:03:42,334 --> 00:03:46,501 AND MOM-- SHE THROWS SNO-CONES AT THE UMPIRE. 64 00:03:47,801 --> 00:03:49,634 SHE DOES NOT. 65 00:03:49,634 --> 00:03:51,300 SHE DID ONCE. 66 00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:53,667 I'M TELLING YOU, THEY'RE COMPLETE NERDS. 67 00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,434 HEY, WAIT'LL YOU START DATING, 68 00:03:55,434 --> 00:03:58,601 AND DAD ASKS THE GUY YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH IF HE HAS POPCORN MONEY. 69 00:03:58,601 --> 00:04:01,667 I'M NOT DATING, EVER. 70 00:04:01,667 --> 00:04:05,334 IT DOESN'T MATTER. THEY'LL ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO EMBARRASS YOU, BELIEVE ME. 71 00:04:05,334 --> 00:04:07,033 IT'S NOT FAIR. 72 00:04:07,033 --> 00:04:09,567 I MEAN, PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO STAY IN THE HOUSE. 73 00:04:09,567 --> 00:04:11,667 EXCEPT WHEN THEY'RE DRIVING YOU SOMEWHERE, 74 00:04:11,667 --> 00:04:14,567 AND THEN THEY'RE JUST SUPPOSED TO DROP YOU OFF AND GO AWAY. 75 00:04:14,567 --> 00:04:17,334 IN A PERFECT WORLD, DARLENE, 76 00:04:17,334 --> 00:04:19,000 IN A PERFECT WORLD. 77 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:21,567 I MEAN, LOOK WHAT DAD WANTED ME TO TAKE TO DIANNE'S. 78 00:04:22,634 --> 00:04:24,267 WHAT'S THAT? 79 00:04:24,267 --> 00:04:27,534 ( imitating Dan's voice ) LIKE A BLAST FROM THE PAST, MAN. 80 00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:30,934 THEY CAN'T BE OUR REAL PARENTS. 81 00:04:30,934 --> 00:04:32,567 NERD ALERT, NERD ALERT. 82 00:04:32,567 --> 00:04:36,501 BECKY, YOU GOTTA HELP ME. I DON'T WANT MOM TO COME TO MY GAME. 83 00:04:36,501 --> 00:04:38,501 D.J.: I'M GONNA GO WATCH TV. 84 00:04:38,501 --> 00:04:42,534 DARLENE, WHAT DID I TELL YOU I WAS GONNA DO IF I FOUND THESE ON THE COUCH AGAIN? 85 00:04:42,534 --> 00:04:45,100 LOOK, JUST GIVE ME THE SHOES AND HOLD THE LECTURE. 86 00:04:45,100 --> 00:04:47,100 - DARLENE! - LISTEN, MISS SMART MOUTH. 87 00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:48,934 YOU'RE NOT EVEN GONNA BE NEEDING THOSE SHOES, 88 00:04:48,934 --> 00:04:51,634 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT GONNA PLAY BASEBALL AGAIN TILL YOU'RE 58! 89 00:04:51,634 --> 00:04:54,701 FINE WITH ME, I DON'T WANNA PLAY ANYWAY IF YOU'RE GONNA BE THERE. 90 00:04:58,133 --> 00:05:00,534 DID YOU EVER THROW A SNO-CONE AT AN UMPIRE? 91 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:03,133 YOU WEREN'T THERE. YOU DIDN'T SEE THE CALL. 92 00:05:10,067 --> 00:05:12,901 - I'M HERE. - ME TOO. 93 00:05:12,901 --> 00:05:14,901 - AUNT JACKIE, YOU BROUGHT IT. - YES. 94 00:05:14,901 --> 00:05:18,234 DO YOU REMEMBER THE SLEEPING BAG? 95 00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,601 OH, MY GOD, YOU STILL HAVE THAT THING? 96 00:05:20,601 --> 00:05:22,767 YES. MOM GAVE THIS TO ME WHEN I MOVED OUT, 97 00:05:22,767 --> 00:05:26,968 IN CASE I NEEDED A PLACE TO STAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. 98 00:05:26,968 --> 00:05:30,000 THERE ARE COWGIRLS ALL OVER IT. 99 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,367 BECKY, THOSE AREN'T JUST COWGIRLS. 100 00:05:32,367 --> 00:05:35,434 THAT IS THE COWGIRL. THAT'S ANNIE OAKLEY. 101 00:05:35,434 --> 00:05:38,534 THERE IS NO WAY I'M TAKING THAT TO MY SLUMBER PARTY. 102 00:05:38,534 --> 00:05:41,033 I GUARANTEE YOU, NO ONE WILL HAVE ONE LIKE THIS. 103 00:05:41,033 --> 00:05:44,000 YEAH, INCLUDING ME. I'D RATHER SLEEP IN A TRASH BAG. 104 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:47,000 WELL, THEY'RE UNDER THE SINK. YOU'D BETTER TAKE TWO. 105 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,801 OH, MOTHER. 106 00:05:50,033 --> 00:05:53,434 JEEZ. OH, IF THIS BAG COULD TALK. 107 00:05:53,434 --> 00:05:56,634 I'D CUT ITS TONGUE OUT, I WOULD. 108 00:05:56,634 --> 00:05:58,701 YOU REMEMBER HOW MUCH WE HATED THIS THING 109 00:05:58,701 --> 00:06:00,801 WHEN MOM BROUGHT IT BACK FROM THAT YARD SALE? 110 00:06:00,801 --> 00:06:03,033 THEY COULD'VE AT LEAST TURNED OFF THE SPRINKLERS. 111 00:06:05,567 --> 00:06:08,100 GIVE ME A BREAK! 112 00:06:09,367 --> 00:06:11,567 I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO DARLENE'S BALLGAME. 113 00:06:11,567 --> 00:06:14,501 WELL, DARLENE AND I AREN'T EXACTLY TALKING THESE DAYS. 114 00:06:14,501 --> 00:06:17,300 - WE'RE YELLING. - BUT YOU BOTH DO IT SO WELL. 115 00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:21,234 YEAH, AND I USUALLY ENJOY IT, BUT BOY, LATELY SHE'S DRIVING ME CRAZY. 116 00:06:21,234 --> 00:06:22,834 OH, ROSEANNE, SHE'S 11. 117 00:06:22,834 --> 00:06:24,868 YOU REMEMBER ALL THE TROUBLE WE USED TO GIVE MOM? 118 00:06:24,868 --> 00:06:26,834 YEAH, BUT MOM DESERVED IT. 119 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,801 WHEREAS DARLENE HAS ME, YOU KNOW, AND I'M THE PERFECT MOTHER. 120 00:06:31,801 --> 00:06:35,133 OH, YEAH, RIGHT. I FORGOT. 121 00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:36,634 I'M SERIOUS, JACKIE. 122 00:06:36,634 --> 00:06:39,567 I'M THE ANTITHESIS OF EVERYTHING MOM STOOD FOR. 123 00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:46,701 OH, DARLENE WOULD BE AGAINST YOU NO MATTER WHAT YOU STOOD FOR. YOU'RE HER MOTHER. 124 00:06:46,701 --> 00:06:48,968 I DON'T REMEMBER HAVING THIS PROBLEM WITH BECKY. 125 00:06:48,968 --> 00:06:52,167 SURE YOU DID. BECKY WAS JUST TOO POLITE TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT. 126 00:06:52,167 --> 00:06:53,901 - REALLY? - YEAH. 127 00:06:53,901 --> 00:06:56,601 BUT IT'S NOT JUST YOU. IT'S DAN TOO. IT'S ALL PARENTS. 128 00:06:56,601 --> 00:06:59,100 YOU'RE JUST GOING THROUGH WHAT IS COMMONLY KNOWN AS 129 00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:02,868 THE "I HAVE NO PARENTS, I WAS HATCHED FROM AN EGG" SYNDROME. 130 00:07:02,868 --> 00:07:06,200 - OH, I JUST CAN'T WAIT TILL YOU HAVE KIDS. - ( phone ringing ) 131 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,901 HELLO. 132 00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:17,667 WHAT HAPPENED? WHICH HOSPITAL? 133 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,100 I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 134 00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:24,067 NO, SHE'S NOT ALLERGIC TO PENICILLIN. 135 00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:27,601 - WHAT? - DARLENE'S IN THE HOSPITAL. 136 00:07:27,601 --> 00:07:30,033 - BECKY, GET DOWN HERE NOW! - WHAT HAPPENED? 137 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:32,400 - IT'S AN APPENDICITIS. - HOW DO WE GET IN TOUCH WITH DAN? 138 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,400 WE CAN'T. THERE'S NO PHONE ON THE JOBSITE. 139 00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:37,067 - WANT ME TO STAY WITH THE KIDS? - NO, BECKY CAN WATCH D.J. YOU GO WITH ME. 140 00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:39,601 - MOM, WHAT'S WRONG? - YOUR SISTER'S IN THE HOSPITAL WITH AN APPENDICITIS. 141 00:07:39,601 --> 00:07:41,801 - OH, NO, WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO? - DARLENE'S IN THE HOSPITAL? 142 00:07:41,801 --> 00:07:44,534 - OH, SHE'LL BE OKAY, HONEY. YOU STAY HERE WITH D.J. - I'M GONNA GO START THE CAR. 143 00:07:44,534 --> 00:07:47,868 AND WHEN DAD GETS HOME, TELL HIM ME AND JACKIE ARE IN COUNTY HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM. 144 00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,601 - OKAY. - I WANNA GO WITH YOU. 145 00:07:49,601 --> 00:07:51,601 - Roseanne: YOU CAN'T, HONEY. - YEAH, D.J., 146 00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:54,267 YOU AND ME GOTTA STAY HERE AND GIVE THIS NOTE TO DADDY, OKAY? 147 00:07:54,267 --> 00:07:57,601 - I WANNA GO WITH MOM! - I'M COUNTING ON YOU, BECKY. 148 00:07:57,601 --> 00:07:59,234 - MOM! - ( door closes ) 149 00:07:59,234 --> 00:08:02,300 DEEJ, COME ON. I'LL LET YOU HAVE SOME MORE BROWNIES, OKAY? 150 00:08:12,934 --> 00:08:16,200 MRS. CONNER? TED GRAHAM, DARLENE'S BASEBALL COACH. 151 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,067 OH, TED, HI. HOW IS SHE? 152 00:08:18,067 --> 00:08:19,901 I DON'T KNOW, THEY WON'T TELL ME ANYTHING. 153 00:08:19,901 --> 00:08:22,200 WELL, THEY'RE SURE AS HELL GONNA TELL ME. 154 00:08:23,267 --> 00:08:26,267 ( speaking foreign language ) 155 00:08:26,267 --> 00:08:29,067 LOOK, WE ARE TRYING TO FIND 156 00:08:29,067 --> 00:08:31,300 SOMEBODY WHO SPEAKS 157 00:08:31,300 --> 00:08:34,734 WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE SPEAKING. 158 00:08:34,734 --> 00:08:37,534 I CAN'T FIND THE BLANK INSURANCE FORMS. 159 00:08:37,534 --> 00:08:40,133 I'M ROSEANNE CONNER. I'D LIKE TO SEE MY DAUGHTER. 160 00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:44,200 FOR THE THIRD TIME: FILE CABINET, TOP DRAWER. 161 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,133 CONNER? CONNER. 162 00:08:46,133 --> 00:08:48,267 RIGHT. DARLENE CONNER. 163 00:08:48,267 --> 00:08:50,434 - WHAT HAPPENED? - I DON'T KNOW. 164 00:08:50,434 --> 00:08:53,167 SHE WAS OUT THERE ON THE MOUND, SHE WAS HAVING A GOOD DAY. 165 00:08:53,167 --> 00:08:55,467 SHE WAS THREE INNINGS INTO A NO-HITTER, 166 00:08:55,467 --> 00:08:58,200 AND THEN, BOOM, SHE WENT DOWN LIKE A TON OF BRICKS. 167 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,434 HERE YOU GO, MRS. CHAMBERS. ALL DONE. 168 00:09:00,434 --> 00:09:02,868 - GREAT. - I'D LIKE TO SEE MY DAUGHTER. 169 00:09:02,868 --> 00:09:06,033 DARLENE'S BEING PREPPED FOR SURGERY. DR. BRYCE WILL TAKE YOU TO SEE HER. 170 00:09:06,033 --> 00:09:07,868 WELL, NOW, HOW'S DARLENE DOING? 171 00:09:07,868 --> 00:09:09,868 WE HAVEN'T BEEN ADVISED OF HER CONDITION. 172 00:09:09,868 --> 00:09:12,200 DR. BRYCE TO EMERGENCY, PLEASE. 173 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,367 MRS. CONNER, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN DO? 174 00:09:14,367 --> 00:09:17,934 NO, WE'LL BE OKAY, BUT I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR COMING DOWN HERE WITH HER. 175 00:09:17,934 --> 00:09:21,100 - TELL HER SHE GOT THE WIN. - THANKS, I'LL TELL HER. 176 00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:23,200 Woman on P.A.: Dr. Wagner, please call extension 32. 177 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:27,033 Dr. Wagner, please call extension 32. 178 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,367 - HOW IS SHE? - THEY'RE GETTING HER READY FOR SURGERY. 179 00:09:29,367 --> 00:09:31,367 - YOU SEEN HER? - NO. 180 00:09:31,367 --> 00:09:35,534 - ARE THEY GONNA LET US SEE HER? - SOON AS THE DOCTOR GETS HERE, AND SHE'S ON HER WAY. 181 00:09:35,534 --> 00:09:38,467 - HOW YOU DOING? - BEEN BETTER. 182 00:09:38,467 --> 00:09:39,801 COME HERE. 183 00:09:39,801 --> 00:09:42,133 Woman on P.A. Dr. Steinfeld to emergency. 184 00:09:42,133 --> 00:09:44,501 OH, GOD. 185 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,968 HEY, HEY. 186 00:09:46,968 --> 00:09:50,834 - LAKE RANOMA. - WHAT? 187 00:09:50,834 --> 00:09:53,000 WHAT WAS IT, FIVE YEARS AGO WE WERE UP IN THAT CABIN 188 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,501 AND BECKY HAD THE LUNG INFECTION, AND WE THOUGHT-- 189 00:09:55,501 --> 00:09:59,300 - ( siren wailing ) - WELL, WE BOTH KNOW WHAT WE THOUGHT. 190 00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:01,934 WE GOT THROUGH THAT, RIGHT? 191 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:05,334 OKAY, THIS IS JUST LIKE LAKE RANOMA. 192 00:10:05,334 --> 00:10:07,467 - OKAY. - OKAY. 193 00:10:07,467 --> 00:10:10,133 MR. AND MRS. CONNER? 194 00:10:10,133 --> 00:10:12,067 YEAH? 195 00:10:12,067 --> 00:10:15,934 HI, I'M DR. BRYCE. I'LL BE OPERATING ON DARLENE. 196 00:10:15,934 --> 00:10:19,000 - CAN WE SEE HER? - THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE. SHE'S BEING TAKEN IN TO S-- 197 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,467 - WELL, THEY SAID WE COULD SEE HER. - MR. AND MRS. CONNER, 198 00:10:21,467 --> 00:10:23,200 THIS IS THE SITUATION. 199 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:27,100 DARLENE'S APPENDIX HAS RUPTURED, CAUSING HER TO RUN A FEVER. 200 00:10:27,100 --> 00:10:31,400 NOW UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES, WE TRY TO BRING THE FEVER DOWN BEFORE WE OPERATE. 201 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:35,100 - BUT...? - BUT THERE APPEARS TO BE AN OBSTRUCTION OF THE INTESTINES, 202 00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:37,200 WHICH MEANS WE CAN'T WAIT FOR THE FEVER TO COME DOWN. 203 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,701 - WE HAVE TO OPERATE NOW. - IS THAT DANGEROUS? 204 00:10:40,701 --> 00:10:42,701 I MEAN, 205 00:10:42,701 --> 00:10:44,701 IS IT DANGEROUS? 206 00:10:44,701 --> 00:10:48,033 I CAN'T TELL YOU NOT TO WORRY. 207 00:10:48,033 --> 00:10:51,334 YOU'LL DO THAT ANYWAY. I'M A PARENT TOO. 208 00:10:51,334 --> 00:10:53,934 THERE ARE DANGERS ASSOCIATED WITH ANY SURGERY, 209 00:10:53,934 --> 00:10:56,767 BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT THIS IS NOT AN UNCOMMON PROCEDURE. 210 00:10:56,767 --> 00:10:58,767 HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE? 211 00:10:58,767 --> 00:11:00,767 WELL, IT USUALLY TAKES ABOUT TWO HOURS. 212 00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:03,767 AND WHEN IT'S OVER, I'LL COME OUT, I'LL TALK TO YOU, 213 00:11:03,767 --> 00:11:06,534 AND THEN YOU CAN SEE DARLENE IN THE RECOVERY ROOM. 214 00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:10,901 - SHE'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. - YEAH. 215 00:11:10,901 --> 00:11:14,167 YEAH. THEY PROBABLY DO THIS 20 TIMES A DAY. 216 00:11:14,167 --> 00:11:16,100 NOT ON OUR DAUGHTER. 217 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,200 DARLENE HAVE CHICKENPOX? 218 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,634 YEAH, NOVEMBER '83. 219 00:11:23,634 --> 00:11:25,300 - YOU WANT SOME COFFEE, SIS? - MEASLES? 220 00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:27,000 - NO, THANKS. - WHAT? 221 00:11:28,501 --> 00:11:31,100 YEAH, SHE HAD THE M-- JUST LET ME DO IT. 222 00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:33,100 I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU REMEMBER ALL THIS STUFF. 223 00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:35,100 - WHAT STUFF? - LIKE WHEN DARLENE HAD THE MUMPS. 224 00:11:35,100 --> 00:11:38,267 WELL, BECAUSE SHE HAD THE MUMPS THE SAME TIME D.J. AND BECKY HAD THE MUMPS, DAN. 225 00:11:38,267 --> 00:11:41,868 - YOU DON'T FORGET THREE KIDS HAVING SIMULTANEOUS MUMPS. - Woman: CONNER? 226 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:44,767 - YEAH, SOMETHING WRONG? - OH, NO. 227 00:11:44,767 --> 00:11:47,634 WELL, YES. YOUR INSURANCE CARD'S EXPIRED. 228 00:11:47,634 --> 00:11:49,934 THAT CAN'T BE, DAN. I PAID THAT BILL LAST MONTH. 229 00:11:49,934 --> 00:11:51,934 - ARE YOU SURE? - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, AM I SURE? 230 00:11:51,934 --> 00:11:53,467 I HAVE THE CANCELLED CHECK AT HOME. 231 00:11:53,467 --> 00:11:55,467 WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET THOSE CLOWNS ON THE PHONE? 232 00:11:55,467 --> 00:11:57,801 - THERE'S AN 800 NUMBER ON THE BACK. - I'LL CALL 'EM. 233 00:11:57,801 --> 00:12:00,334 NO, YOU SIT DOWN. I'LL CALL 'EM. 234 00:12:00,334 --> 00:12:01,934 WHEN YOU FINISH THESE FORMS, 235 00:12:01,934 --> 00:12:04,734 IF YOU'D JUST RETURN THEM TO THE ADMISSIONS DESK. 236 00:12:04,734 --> 00:12:06,501 YEAH, I'LL DO THAT. 237 00:12:06,501 --> 00:12:08,501 I KNOW THE FUTURE OF MEDICAL SCIENCE 238 00:12:08,501 --> 00:12:11,734 DEPENDS ON KNOWING MY MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME. 239 00:12:11,734 --> 00:12:15,567 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. MY KID'S IN SURGERY, I'M SITTING HERE TAKING MY SATs. 240 00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:17,567 ROSEANNE, JUST FORGET ABOUT THE FORMS. 241 00:12:17,567 --> 00:12:20,067 THAT'S JUST THEIR WAY OF HAVING PEOPLE SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP. 242 00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:22,601 WELL, WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ETHER? 243 00:12:22,601 --> 00:12:24,267 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 244 00:12:24,267 --> 00:12:27,200 MY WIFE MAILED YOU THAT CHECK LAST MONTH. 245 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:30,100 I DON'T KNOW WHAT DAY SHE MAILED IT, BUT I KNOW YOU GOT IT. 246 00:12:31,634 --> 00:12:36,067 LISTEN, I'M IN A HOSPITAL WHERE MY KID'S GETTING SURGERY. 247 00:12:36,067 --> 00:12:39,400 I DON'T HAVE THE CANCELLED CHECKS ON ME. 248 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,033 YEAH, I'LL HOLD. 249 00:12:41,033 --> 00:12:42,534 OH, DAMN. 250 00:12:42,534 --> 00:12:44,534 WHY THIS MORNING, OF ALL MORNINGS, 251 00:12:44,534 --> 00:12:46,601 DID I HAVE TO YELL AT DARLENE? 252 00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:49,033 BECAUSE SHE WAS BEING A PAIN IN THE BUTT. 253 00:12:49,033 --> 00:12:51,734 OH, JACKIE, SHE'S JUST BEING 11. 254 00:12:51,734 --> 00:12:55,300 ROSEANNE, YELLING AT DARLENE, THAT'S LIKE BREATHING. 255 00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:57,834 IT'S JUST AN INVOLUNTARY RESPONSE. 256 00:12:57,834 --> 00:13:01,000 I STILL FEEL LIKE THE MOM FROM HELL. 257 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,000 WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE SOLUTION TO THAT. 258 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,067 YOU TAKE A VOW RIGHT THIS MINUTE THAT YOU WILL NEVER 259 00:13:06,067 --> 00:13:10,501 YELL AT DARLENE AGAIN IN LIFE, EVER. 260 00:13:10,501 --> 00:13:13,968 YEAH, THINK OF ALL THE FREE TIME I'LL HAVE. 261 00:13:13,968 --> 00:13:16,534 YES, I DO. NO, NO. 262 00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:19,033 BECAUSE YOU CASHED IT. 263 00:13:19,033 --> 00:13:21,267 YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, YOU CASHED IT. 264 00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:23,100 AND I HAVE THAT CANCELLED CHECK AT HOME, 265 00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:25,601 BECAUSE I BALANCED THE CHECKBOOK LAST MONTH, AND I HAVE IT. 266 00:13:25,601 --> 00:13:29,334 SOMEBODY THERE DID, BECAUSE I GOT A CANCELLED CHECK AT HOME WITH YOUR COMPANY'S NAME ON IT. 267 00:13:29,334 --> 00:13:31,567 RIGHT, AND JUST ASK FOR THE SUPERVISOR. 268 00:13:31,567 --> 00:13:33,868 LOOK, LET ME TALK TO SOMEBODY ELSE THERE, ALL RIGHT? 269 00:13:33,868 --> 00:13:36,300 - YEAH, I'LL HOLD. - HERE, HONEY. 270 00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:39,033 HERE. GOOD LUCK. 271 00:13:39,033 --> 00:13:41,701 HELLO, THIS IS MRS. CONNER. 272 00:13:41,701 --> 00:13:44,100 C-O-N-N-E-R. 273 00:13:45,501 --> 00:13:48,434 YEAH. "C" AS IN "CAT," 274 00:13:48,434 --> 00:13:50,767 "O" AS IN "OAF," 275 00:13:50,767 --> 00:13:53,734 "N" AS IN "NUMSKULL," "N" AS IN "NITWIT," 276 00:13:53,734 --> 00:13:56,367 "E" AS IN "EMPTY-HEADED," 277 00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:59,234 "R" AS IN "TARGET." 278 00:13:59,234 --> 00:14:01,868 I FEEL LIKE I OUGHT TO BE DOING SOMETHING. 279 00:14:01,868 --> 00:14:06,200 WELL, I FEEL LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME, ESPECIALLY AT WORK. 280 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,868 I FEEL TOTALLY USELESS. 281 00:14:08,868 --> 00:14:11,234 I'M JUST SITTING HERE, AND DARLENE'S GETTING OPERATED ON. 282 00:14:11,234 --> 00:14:14,534 WELL, DAN, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO, ASSIST? 283 00:14:14,534 --> 00:14:16,968 - I JUST HATE WAITING. - I HEAR YOU. 284 00:14:16,968 --> 00:14:19,200 NOBODY HATES WAITING WORSE THAN ME. 285 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,334 I'D BITE OTHER PEOPLE'S NAILS IF THEY'D LET ME. 286 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,667 GET AWAY FROM ME. 287 00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:31,267 Woman on P.A.: Dr. Wagner, please call extension 32. 288 00:14:31,267 --> 00:14:32,734 Dr. Wagner. 289 00:14:35,567 --> 00:14:39,234 HOW ARE YOU, MY WIFE? IS OKAY? 290 00:14:39,234 --> 00:14:41,234 YOU'D BETTER TAKE HIM UP ON IT, JACKIE. 291 00:14:41,234 --> 00:14:43,501 THAT'S LIABLE TO BE YOUR LAST PROPOSAL. 292 00:14:43,501 --> 00:14:47,067 NO, WHAT YOU MEAN TO SAY HERE IS, 293 00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:51,000 "HOW IS MY WIFE? IS SHE OKAY?" 294 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,701 - IS SHE OKAY? - YEAH, AND THEN YOU TAKE IT TO THAT DESK OVER THERE, 295 00:14:53,701 --> 00:14:55,701 AND GOOD LUCK TO YOU. 296 00:14:55,701 --> 00:14:58,200 - SHE OKAY? - ALL RIGHT. 297 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:01,400 - ( Dan sighs ) - Man on P.A.: Nurse Berman to maternity. 298 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,400 - WHAT'D THEY SAY? - EVERYTHING'S OKAY. 299 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:06,734 THEY JUST SPELLED OUR NAME WRONG. 300 00:15:06,734 --> 00:15:09,934 - I'M GONNA CALL BECKY. - YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 301 00:15:15,801 --> 00:15:19,167 BECKY, HELP ME FIND THE PIECE FOR HERE. 302 00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:22,601 D.J., YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PUT THE OUTSIDE OF THE PUZZLE TOGETHER FIRST. 303 00:15:22,601 --> 00:15:25,834 DARLENE SAID, ALWAYS START WITH THE DOG'S TAIL. 304 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:29,834 - OKAY, HERE. - THANKS. 305 00:15:29,834 --> 00:15:32,534 ( phone ringing ) 306 00:15:32,534 --> 00:15:34,934 - HELLO? - HI, HONEY. IT'S DADDY. 307 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:38,701 - IS DARLENE OKAY? - YEAH, SHE'S GONNA BE FINE. HOW YOU GUYS DOING? 308 00:15:38,701 --> 00:15:40,200 LET ME TALK! 309 00:15:41,267 --> 00:15:43,501 - HI. - WHO IS THIS? 310 00:15:43,501 --> 00:15:45,567 DAD, WHEN YOU COMING HOME? 311 00:15:45,567 --> 00:15:48,334 - IT WON'T BE LONG NOW, SPORT. - OKAY, BYE. 312 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:52,968 - HI. - HI, SWEETHEART. 313 00:15:52,968 --> 00:15:54,567 HOW YOU HOLDING UP? 314 00:15:54,567 --> 00:15:56,167 OKAY, I GUESS. 315 00:15:56,167 --> 00:15:57,834 JUST OKAY? 316 00:15:57,834 --> 00:15:59,834 DAD? 317 00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:03,067 - YEAH, HONEY? - I'M A ROTTEN SISTER. 318 00:16:03,067 --> 00:16:05,734 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, BABY? YOU'RE A GREAT SISTER. 319 00:16:05,734 --> 00:16:07,501 NO, I'M NOT. 320 00:16:07,501 --> 00:16:09,400 YEAH, SURE YOU ARE, KID. 321 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:12,000 HEY, WHO'S BEEN TAKING SUCH GREAT CARE OF D.J. ALL AFTERNOON? 322 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,000 NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN. 323 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,100 I MEAN, I TRY TO KEEP THINKING ABOUT DARLENE, 324 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:20,634 HOPING SHE'S OKAY AND EVERYTHING, BUT-- 325 00:16:20,634 --> 00:16:22,901 BUT YOU START THINKING ABOUT OTHER STUFF? 326 00:16:22,901 --> 00:16:24,801 YEAH. 327 00:16:24,801 --> 00:16:29,400 DUMB STUFF, LIKE THAT STUPID SLUMBER PARTY AND CHIP. 328 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,734 WELL, HONEY, THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE A ROTTEN SISTER. 329 00:16:32,734 --> 00:16:35,901 IT'S JUST WHEN YOUR BRAIN FIGURES IT'S THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING FOR TOO LONG, 330 00:16:35,901 --> 00:16:38,767 IT SWITCHES OVER TO SOMETHING ELSE SO IT DOESN'T OVERHEAT. 331 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,701 IT'S NOT GONNA WORK, DAD. I'M NOT GONNA LAUGH. 332 00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:44,701 NO, NO, NO, NO, I'M JUST TRYING TO SAY 333 00:16:44,701 --> 00:16:47,200 THAT IF YOU THINK ABOUT SOMETHING FOR TOO LONG, 334 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:48,968 SMOKE WILL COME OUT OF YOUR EARS. 335 00:16:48,968 --> 00:16:50,834 DAD, QUIT IT. 336 00:16:50,834 --> 00:16:52,801 AND STEAM WILL COME OUT OF YOUR NOSE. 337 00:16:52,801 --> 00:16:56,200 - DADDY. - FIRE'LL SHOOT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. 338 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,334 CHIPPY-WHIPPY WILL LOVE THAT. 339 00:16:59,334 --> 00:17:02,868 HELL, I'LL LOVE IT TOO. I WON'T HAVE TO BUY NO MORE CHARCOAL STARTER. 340 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,467 ( rattling ) 341 00:17:21,734 --> 00:17:24,167 - HEY, WOULD YOU KNOCK IT OFF?! - WHAT? 342 00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:25,767 THAT. YOU'RE DRIVING US CRAZY. 343 00:17:25,767 --> 00:17:27,400 OH, COME ON, YOU GUYS. 344 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,601 DAN, THAT OPERATION'S SUPPOSED TO BE OVER BY NOW. 345 00:17:29,601 --> 00:17:31,267 I'M GONNA FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON. 346 00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:33,234 Woman on P.A.: Dr. Steinfeld to emergency. 347 00:17:33,234 --> 00:17:34,767 - EXCUSE ME. - YES. 348 00:17:34,767 --> 00:17:36,868 I'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH MY DAUGHTER. 349 00:17:36,868 --> 00:17:40,701 - YOUR DAUGHTER'S NAME? - FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME, IT'S DARLENE CONNER. 350 00:17:40,701 --> 00:17:43,234 - OH, RIGHT, THE APPENDECTOMY. - NO, WRONG. 351 00:17:43,234 --> 00:17:45,434 SHE'S NOT AN APPENDECTOMY, SHE'S A LITTLE GIRL. 352 00:17:45,434 --> 00:17:48,667 SHE'S HAVING AN OPERATION, AND IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE OVER BY 5:30. 353 00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:51,801 IF I HAD SOME ANSWERS, I WOULD GIVE THEM TO YOU. 354 00:17:51,801 --> 00:17:54,467 I ASK ONE LITTLE QUESTION, WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH MY KID, 355 00:17:54,467 --> 00:17:56,601 AND NOBODY CAN TELL ME ANYTHING. 356 00:17:56,601 --> 00:17:58,801 THAT'S NOT A STUPID QUESTION. 357 00:17:58,801 --> 00:18:01,467 THAT'S A QUESTION THAT DESERVES AN ANSWER. 358 00:18:01,467 --> 00:18:04,534 IT'S A QUESTION ANY HUMAN BEING HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW. 359 00:18:04,534 --> 00:18:07,400 WELL, WHAT'S GOING ON WITH OUR KID? 360 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,000 TELL 'EM, KIDDO. 361 00:18:11,601 --> 00:18:13,334 MR. AND MRS. CONNER. 362 00:18:13,334 --> 00:18:15,634 - IS DARLENE ALL RIGHT? - SHE'S FINE. 363 00:18:17,667 --> 00:18:20,000 SO WHAT AM I YELLING ABOUT? 364 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,501 - SHE'S IN RECOVERY. - CAN WE SEE HER? 365 00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:24,501 WELL, SHE'S JUST COMING OUT OF ANESTHESIA, 366 00:18:24,501 --> 00:18:26,501 BUT I CAN TAKE YOU IN TO SEE HER. 367 00:18:26,501 --> 00:18:28,501 - HEY, JACKIE-- - I'LL CALL BECKY. 368 00:18:28,501 --> 00:18:30,567 WHAT ARE SISTERS FOR? 369 00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:32,501 DAMNED IF I KNOW. 370 00:18:43,033 --> 00:18:45,501 - MOM? - YEAH, HONEY. 371 00:18:45,501 --> 00:18:47,234 HOW YOU DOING, SPORT? 372 00:18:47,234 --> 00:18:49,267 - HI, DAD. - DOES IT HURT? 373 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,567 I CAN'T REALLY FEEL ANYTHING. 374 00:18:52,567 --> 00:18:54,734 CAN YOU FEEL THIS? 375 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,601 I'M REALLY SORRY. 376 00:18:58,601 --> 00:19:00,200 SORRY FOR WHAT? 377 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,367 ABOUT THE WAY I'VE BEEN ACTING. 378 00:19:03,367 --> 00:19:05,901 I'VE BEEN KIND OF A SMART MOUTH. 379 00:19:05,901 --> 00:19:08,367 WELL, YOU TAKE AFTER ME. 380 00:19:08,367 --> 00:19:10,968 YEAH, DARLENE, IT'S KIND OF OUT OF YOUR HANDS. 381 00:19:12,567 --> 00:19:14,667 IT'S JUST THAT SOMETIMES-- 382 00:19:15,734 --> 00:19:17,334 I DON'T KNOW. 383 00:19:17,334 --> 00:19:19,934 WELL, DARLENE, DON'T YOU THINK THAT I WAS 11? 384 00:19:19,934 --> 00:19:22,434 DON'T YOU THINK I HAD A MOTHER? 385 00:19:22,434 --> 00:19:24,934 AND I USED TO WISH THAT THERE WAS SOME KIND OF MACHINE 386 00:19:24,934 --> 00:19:28,200 WHERE YOU COULD JUST DO THIS. ( static hissing ) 387 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,234 AND SHE'D DISAPPEAR. 388 00:19:30,234 --> 00:19:32,767 WELL, THAT'S NOT EXACTLY HOW I FEEL. 389 00:19:32,767 --> 00:19:35,267 YEAH, BUT YOU GOTTA ADMIT THAT A GADGET LIKE THAT 390 00:19:35,267 --> 00:19:37,734 WOULD COME IN HANDY SOMETIMES. 391 00:19:37,734 --> 00:19:40,434 YOU MEAN LIKE AT BASEBALL GAMES? 392 00:19:40,434 --> 00:19:42,701 LOOK, WHEN YOU DON'T WANT US AROUND, 393 00:19:42,701 --> 00:19:45,901 YOU JUST TELL US AND WE'LL CRY OUR HEARTS OUT AND LEAVE. 394 00:19:45,901 --> 00:19:47,767 YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE NOW, RIGHT? 395 00:19:47,767 --> 00:19:49,501 I MEAN, YOU'RE GONNA STAY RIGHT HERE. 396 00:19:49,501 --> 00:19:51,534 OH, YEAH, I'M HERE FOR THE NIGHT. 397 00:19:51,534 --> 00:19:53,300 I BROUGHT MY SLEEPING BAG. 398 00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:55,267 THANKS, MOM. 399 00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:05,067 ( soft music playing ) 400 00:20:06,968 --> 00:20:09,167 I FOUND IT, DARLENE! 401 00:20:12,067 --> 00:20:13,567 WHAT? 402 00:20:13,567 --> 00:20:16,300 THE FLOOR OF YOUR ROOM! 403 00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:19,234 MOTHER, PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH. 404 00:20:19,234 --> 00:20:22,133 I STILL HAVE STITCHES, YOU KNOW. 405 00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:24,133 NOW, DON'T YOU THINK ALL THAT ICE CREAM 406 00:20:24,133 --> 00:20:28,067 MIGHT SPOIL YOUR MIDAFTERNOON SNACK? 407 00:20:28,067 --> 00:20:31,567 HEY, I NEED ALL THE STRENGTH I CAN GET. 408 00:20:31,567 --> 00:20:33,567 YOU BEEN HOME FOR A WEEK NOW, DARLENE, 409 00:20:33,567 --> 00:20:37,367 AND YOU'RE GOING TO SCHOOL TOMORROW NO MATTER WHAT, SO QUIT MILKING THIS THING. 410 00:20:37,367 --> 00:20:39,901 NICE BEDSIDE MANNER. 411 00:20:39,901 --> 00:20:41,801 WHY, THANK YOU. 412 00:20:41,801 --> 00:20:44,067 NOW GET YOUR DAMN FEET OFF MY COUCH. 413 00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:47,400 DON'T WORRY, I WON'T TARNISH YOUR BEAUTIFUL FABRIC. 414 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:51,300 DARLENE, WHEN YOU GONNA STOP BEING A SMART MOUTH? 415 00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:54,067 MMM, THREE WEEKS FROM NEXT TUESDAY. 416 00:20:54,067 --> 00:20:57,534 WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION, NUMSKULL? 417 00:20:57,534 --> 00:21:00,267 DIDN'T YOUR MOMMY AND DADDY GIVE YOU ENOUGH LOVE 418 00:21:00,267 --> 00:21:01,934 WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP? 419 00:21:01,934 --> 00:21:04,167 PLEASE DON'T FALL OFF THAT SOFA 420 00:21:04,167 --> 00:21:06,334 AND STAIN MY BELOVED CARPET. 421 00:21:06,334 --> 00:21:08,767 THAT WOULD BREAK MY BEATING HEART. 422 00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:11,601 NOW, WHY DON'T YOU GET ON BOARD? WHY DON'T YOU GET WITH A WINNER? 423 00:21:11,601 --> 00:21:13,734 CLIMB ON BOARD, RIDE WITH US, 424 00:21:13,734 --> 00:21:16,634 WE'RE GOING TO VICTORY! 425 00:21:16,634 --> 00:21:19,267 PLEASE TAKE YOUR SNEAKERS OFF THAT COUCH, 426 00:21:19,267 --> 00:21:20,968 OR YOU ARE WALLPAPER! 427 00:21:20,968 --> 00:21:23,133 AM I BEING READ CLEAR? 428 00:21:23,133 --> 00:21:26,501 DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, PRIVATE CONNER? 429 00:21:26,501 --> 00:21:29,067 OKAY, I'M WALLPAPER. 430 00:21:29,067 --> 00:21:32,100 NOW COULD YOU GUYS GET OUT OF HERE? 431 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:35,767 OH, DARLENE, 432 00:21:35,767 --> 00:21:39,067 WE ARE JUST SO HAPPY YOU'RE BACK TO YOUR OLD SELF. 433 00:21:39,067 --> 00:21:41,000 ( snorts ) 34385

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