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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,250 --> 00:00:08,416 - Yeah, I also have a lot of gay fans. 2 00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:09,750 Oh, and some of them 3 00:00:09,833 --> 00:00:10,916 clearly couldn't get tickets 4 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,583 to "Magic Mike Live" tonight. 5 00:00:12,666 --> 00:00:13,750 [laughter] 6 00:00:13,833 --> 00:00:15,750 I also have a lot of gay enemies. 7 00:00:15,833 --> 00:00:18,750 Or as I like to call them, my exes. 8 00:00:18,833 --> 00:00:20,458 [laughter] 9 00:00:20,541 --> 00:00:22,666 The gays have so many terms, right? 10 00:00:22,750 --> 00:00:25,291 I can't keep up. There's top, bottom, 11 00:00:25,375 --> 00:00:27,291 bear, twink, daddy. 12 00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:29,500 A fan told me the other night-- a fan told me the other night-- 13 00:00:29,583 --> 00:00:31,541 a fan told me after the show the other night 14 00:00:31,625 --> 00:00:34,583 that if I was gay, I would be a power top-- 15 00:00:34,666 --> 00:00:36,583 power top, power top. 16 00:00:36,666 --> 00:00:39,250 Which, by the way, are 40% off at Ann Taylor right now. 17 00:00:39,333 --> 00:00:40,708 [laughter] 18 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,250 I think he's wrong, though. 19 00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:43,666 You know, I don't think there's a term 20 00:00:43,750 --> 00:00:45,083 for the kind of gay man that I would be. 21 00:00:45,166 --> 00:00:46,625 I mean, I'm rich. I wear fabulous clothes. 22 00:00:46,708 --> 00:00:49,333 I love jewelry. Haven't been laid in years. 23 00:00:49,416 --> 00:00:51,500 Oh, my God, I'm the pope! 24 00:00:51,583 --> 00:00:54,166 [laughter and cheers] 25 00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:56,041 Thank you, you've been a terrific audience. 26 00:00:56,125 --> 00:00:58,375 Not as good as last night, but not bad. 27 00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:03,166 I'm still Deborah Vance. Good night, Las Vegas! 28 00:01:04,458 --> 00:01:05,708 [elevator dings] 29 00:01:05,791 --> 00:01:06,916 - I'm sure you're tired of hearing it, 30 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,458 because I'm tired of saying it, 31 00:01:08,541 --> 00:01:11,625 but the TV in my room is still not working. 32 00:01:11,708 --> 00:01:13,166 - Okay. 33 00:01:13,250 --> 00:01:14,625 - Yeah, um, well, it's just-- 34 00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,625 it's really important that I have a working TV 35 00:01:16,708 --> 00:01:18,916 'cause I'm a working TV writer. 36 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,291 - Yeah, I've heard. - Yeah. 37 00:01:20,375 --> 00:01:22,000 I would just watch on my laptop, 38 00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:24,916 but I'm trying to cut down on my screen time. 39 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,166 - TV is a screen. 40 00:01:26,250 --> 00:01:27,833 - Yeah, but it's a second-tier screen. 41 00:01:27,916 --> 00:01:30,083 It's basically like reading a book at this point. 42 00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:32,041 Oh, also, I need more toothpaste. 43 00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:34,541 - Well, as you know, the free mini toothpaste 44 00:01:34,625 --> 00:01:38,333 is a guest privilege, and you are a--what, a resident? 45 00:01:38,416 --> 00:01:40,666 - Yeah, and that's way sadder, 46 00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:43,000 which is why I deserve the free toothpaste. 47 00:01:43,083 --> 00:01:46,125 I mean, it's right behind you. I can see it. 48 00:01:46,208 --> 00:01:47,750 Okay, it's not, but you looked... 49 00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:49,125 - Good, mm-hmm. - Which means you know 50 00:01:49,208 --> 00:01:50,416 it's nearby. - Yeah. 51 00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:51,875 - Can you help me out? - Excuse me. 52 00:01:51,958 --> 00:01:54,458 - Yeah? - Uh, could I get a toothpaste? 53 00:01:55,958 --> 00:01:57,666 - Are you gonna give it to her? 54 00:01:57,750 --> 00:01:59,125 - No. 55 00:02:01,375 --> 00:02:02,416 - Here you go. 56 00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:03,708 - Thank you so much. - Mm-hmm. 57 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,000 - There you go. - Well, thanks. 58 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,791 - God damn it. - No problem. 59 00:02:06,875 --> 00:02:08,583 - My God. 60 00:02:08,666 --> 00:02:10,041 - Have a good one. - Good job. 61 00:02:10,125 --> 00:02:11,416 - All right. 62 00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:13,375 - Hey, I'm gonna take my break. All right? 63 00:02:13,458 --> 00:02:17,083 [upbeat music] 64 00:02:17,166 --> 00:02:19,250 - Oh, and, um, then I thought you could tag it with 65 00:02:19,333 --> 00:02:21,333 "makes me miss my bunions." 66 00:02:21,416 --> 00:02:23,041 - Oh, that's good. 67 00:02:23,125 --> 00:02:25,541 - Oh. Great. 68 00:02:25,625 --> 00:02:27,416 - Well, it's a punch line. 69 00:02:28,166 --> 00:02:29,041 - Yeah. 70 00:02:29,125 --> 00:02:30,375 Um, oh, and you know how 71 00:02:30,458 --> 00:02:32,041 in the '70s, you had that bit about 72 00:02:32,125 --> 00:02:34,250 hanging yourself with your tampon string? 73 00:02:34,333 --> 00:02:35,708 - Yeah, it was genius. 74 00:02:35,791 --> 00:02:37,208 - Well, I was thinking we could update it. 75 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,000 Maybe something about drowning yourself 76 00:02:39,083 --> 00:02:40,375 in your Diva cup? 77 00:02:40,458 --> 00:02:41,958 - What's a Diva cup? 78 00:02:42,041 --> 00:02:45,166 - Yeah, so it's, like, a-- it's, like, a silicone cup 79 00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:47,250 that you kinda fold up like a taco and... 80 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,791 [pops lips] Just pop in there. 81 00:02:48,875 --> 00:02:50,583 Technically, they're not dishwasher safe, 82 00:02:50,666 --> 00:02:52,791 but I toss 'em in there anyway. 83 00:02:52,875 --> 00:02:54,583 - Remind me to never have dinner at your house. 84 00:02:54,666 --> 00:02:56,375 - [laughs] - No, my audience doesn't know 85 00:02:56,458 --> 00:02:58,625 what a Diva cup is, and they don't want to. 86 00:02:58,708 --> 00:03:02,583 - Okay, I just don't think we should be writing jokes 87 00:03:02,666 --> 00:03:05,083 for a bunch of Panera people. 88 00:03:06,208 --> 00:03:07,708 People who eat at Panera. 89 00:03:07,791 --> 00:03:09,083 - Oh, you little shit. 90 00:03:09,166 --> 00:03:10,708 Just because they don't live in LA 91 00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,541 or New York doesn't mean that what they think is funny 92 00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:15,166 is any less valuable than what you think is funny. 93 00:03:15,250 --> 00:03:18,458 - Mm. It kinda does, though. 94 00:03:18,541 --> 00:03:20,208 I mean, have you seen some of the stuff 95 00:03:20,291 --> 00:03:21,666 these people buy on Etsy? 96 00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:23,166 It's all, like, coffee mugs 97 00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:25,583 about how, "Actually, it's wine in there." 98 00:03:25,666 --> 00:03:27,500 - So you're telling me that if a lot of people think 99 00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:29,291 something is funny, it's not. 100 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:30,916 - Kinda, yeah. 101 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,791 - Ohh, you're that girl 102 00:03:32,875 --> 00:03:34,458 who never got to sit with the cool kids 103 00:03:34,541 --> 00:03:37,500 at the lunch table, and she just never got over it. 104 00:03:37,583 --> 00:03:39,583 - We had walk-away lunch. - Well, there's a whole lot 105 00:03:39,666 --> 00:03:41,500 of other people in the cafeteria, 106 00:03:41,583 --> 00:03:43,916 and the sooner you learn that, the better off you'll be. 107 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,708 - Deborah, the car's here. - Oh, great. 108 00:03:45,791 --> 00:03:47,125 - Um, I'm sorry. 109 00:03:47,208 --> 00:03:49,416 I thought we were working this afternoon. 110 00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:50,583 - I am working. 111 00:03:50,666 --> 00:03:52,583 I'm gonna go work Marty 112 00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,458 into not cutting my dates. 113 00:03:54,541 --> 00:03:56,875 - Okay, I just think we should be concentrating on, like, 114 00:03:56,958 --> 00:03:58,541 the actual material. 115 00:03:59,416 --> 00:04:00,875 - Thanks for the tip. 116 00:04:01,958 --> 00:04:03,625 - All right, see you tomorrow. 117 00:04:03,708 --> 00:04:05,041 - Actually, you'll see me Sunday. 118 00:04:05,125 --> 00:04:06,416 Marcus and I are going on a retreat. 119 00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:07,875 Oh, while I'm gone, didn't you say 120 00:04:07,958 --> 00:04:09,625 you wanted to get your mustache waxed? 121 00:04:09,708 --> 00:04:11,583 - No. - Oh. 122 00:04:11,666 --> 00:04:14,041 Guess I just thought it. 123 00:04:16,583 --> 00:04:19,416 - Deborah, please don't go nuclear with Marty. 124 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:21,666 - I will play nice. - Mm-hmm, and you'll meet me 125 00:04:21,750 --> 00:04:23,500 at 7:00 for dinner with the Cincher sisters? 126 00:04:23,583 --> 00:04:26,250 - Wait, the what with whom? - They're the sisters 127 00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:28,000 behind Cincher's, the shapewear brand. 128 00:04:28,083 --> 00:04:29,833 Dinner's at 7:00 p.m. sharp. - Right. 129 00:04:29,916 --> 00:04:32,291 I got it, I got it. Don't worry, Marcus. 130 00:04:32,375 --> 00:04:34,166 I got it all under control. 131 00:04:34,250 --> 00:04:37,208 [jazzy music] 132 00:04:37,291 --> 00:04:38,833 ♪ ♪ 133 00:04:38,916 --> 00:04:41,333 Well, he's into sound baths, right? 134 00:04:41,416 --> 00:04:43,375 Get him a gong. - He's Japanese. 135 00:04:43,458 --> 00:04:46,333 - So? - So it could be insulting. 136 00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:48,041 - He's leaving you to work for your competitor. 137 00:04:48,125 --> 00:04:50,083 It should be insulting. - Oh, you. 138 00:04:50,166 --> 00:04:51,833 - [giggles] - Yeah, you're right. 139 00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,166 - Oh, time to get down to business. 140 00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:55,458 - What? 141 00:04:56,625 --> 00:04:58,750 What's this? - Uh, a Seurat, 142 00:04:58,833 --> 00:05:00,291 two Gerhard Richters, 143 00:05:00,375 --> 00:05:03,208 a complete set of Pierre Jeanneret chairs. 144 00:05:03,291 --> 00:05:05,166 The list goes on and on. It's all in there. 145 00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:08,083 I must say, Ivy has impeccable taste. 146 00:05:08,166 --> 00:05:10,125 She might be a keeper. 147 00:05:10,208 --> 00:05:13,083 But paying for your assets through your corporation, 148 00:05:13,166 --> 00:05:14,583 isn't that a big no-no? 149 00:05:14,666 --> 00:05:17,000 Because if your personal net worth is actually more 150 00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:19,291 than what you claimed, couldn't your ex-wives 151 00:05:19,375 --> 00:05:22,083 renegotiate their alimony agreements? 152 00:05:22,166 --> 00:05:25,208 Eh, what do I know? I'm just a washed-up comedian 153 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:28,375 with a firm grasp of family law. 154 00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:31,458 - What do you want? - Well, as a woman, 155 00:05:31,541 --> 00:05:33,083 I feel that I have an obligation 156 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,250 to share this information with your ex-wives. 157 00:05:35,333 --> 00:05:38,875 - Aw, what a feminist. - Unless you want to, uh, 158 00:05:38,958 --> 00:05:42,083 rethink your taking away my weekend shows? 159 00:05:42,166 --> 00:05:44,791 - Oh, so you're fucking with my personal life 160 00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:47,583 over a couple of dates? 161 00:05:47,666 --> 00:05:50,125 Which is unfair, since you don't have 162 00:05:50,208 --> 00:05:52,250 a personal life to fuck with. 163 00:05:53,166 --> 00:05:56,666 - Well, it looks like you have about 20 seconds to decide. 164 00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:58,583 - Hi! - You-- 165 00:05:58,666 --> 00:06:01,166 - Should we do a countdown? Oh, let's! 166 00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:03,625 Ten, nine, eight-- - Really? 167 00:06:03,708 --> 00:06:05,416 Fine! - [gasps] Wonderful! 168 00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,416 You can keep those. I've got copies. 169 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,500 [laughs] What a rush! 170 00:06:08,583 --> 00:06:11,000 I should blackmail more often. 171 00:06:11,083 --> 00:06:12,875 Rina, hi! You look fabulous. 172 00:06:12,958 --> 00:06:14,208 - Hi. - Oh, don't worry. 173 00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:17,041 Marty was just leaving. - Rina! 174 00:06:17,125 --> 00:06:19,375 Hi. - Hi. 175 00:06:19,458 --> 00:06:21,875 How are you? - I am fabulous. 176 00:06:21,958 --> 00:06:24,083 - Ugh, what was he drinking? - Mm-hmm. 177 00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,625 - He always drinks the weirdest shit. 178 00:06:25,708 --> 00:06:27,125 - Let's get you a real drink. - Thank you. 179 00:06:27,208 --> 00:06:28,291 - Excuse me. 180 00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:30,791 - I don't know how many times I have to come down here 181 00:06:30,875 --> 00:06:33,250 and say this. TV is a priority for me, 182 00:06:33,333 --> 00:06:35,041 and as a resident, I truly-- 183 00:06:35,125 --> 00:06:37,375 - Oh, my God, Ava! 184 00:06:38,458 --> 00:06:40,125 Holy shit! 185 00:06:40,208 --> 00:06:41,750 - Oh, my God. 186 00:06:41,833 --> 00:06:44,750 My literal queens! I haven't seen you in so long! 187 00:06:44,833 --> 00:06:46,750 How are you? [laughter] 188 00:06:46,833 --> 00:06:50,208 - Wow, it's been so long. How have you been? 189 00:06:50,291 --> 00:06:53,125 - Oh, so good! Amazing! 190 00:06:53,208 --> 00:06:55,375 I--I'm so happy to see you. 191 00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:56,625 - I'm Hallie. - Hey, hi. 192 00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:57,625 - Oh, so rude of us. 193 00:06:57,708 --> 00:06:58,958 Um, Hallie, this is Ava. 194 00:06:59,041 --> 00:07:01,333 She used to write comedy with us. 195 00:07:01,416 --> 00:07:02,500 - "Used to"? 196 00:07:02,583 --> 00:07:03,958 - Did you just say you live here? 197 00:07:04,041 --> 00:07:05,875 - Well-- - Yeah, she does. 198 00:07:05,958 --> 00:07:09,166 - Oh. - Um, I mean, it's for a gig. 199 00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:10,958 It's temporary. I'm working. 200 00:07:11,041 --> 00:07:14,375 But honestly, it's been so nice to get out of the LA bubble. 201 00:07:14,458 --> 00:07:17,500 You know what I mean? Just, like, fresh perspective, 202 00:07:17,583 --> 00:07:19,041 be with real people. 203 00:07:19,125 --> 00:07:21,000 It's been, like, gorg', 204 00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:22,125 amazing. - Right. 205 00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:23,375 - Right. - Right. 206 00:07:23,458 --> 00:07:24,916 - Hey, are you guys free tonight? 207 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,916 I would love to hang out. I can show you around. 208 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,166 I've got, like, a lot of spots I love. 209 00:07:29,250 --> 00:07:31,041 - We've actually gotta turn in early 210 00:07:31,125 --> 00:07:33,333 'cause we have spa appointments in the morning, so... 211 00:07:33,416 --> 00:07:35,083 - Yeah. - I'll text you, though. 212 00:07:35,166 --> 00:07:37,250 - Okay, yeah. Um, oh! 213 00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:38,875 Just little Vegas life hack for you. 214 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,958 Um, sometimes when old people 215 00:07:41,041 --> 00:07:42,791 are on a roll at a slot machine, 216 00:07:42,875 --> 00:07:45,208 they'll piss and shit themselves in their seat 217 00:07:45,291 --> 00:07:46,875 rather than get up, so... [whistles] 218 00:07:46,958 --> 00:07:49,125 Always look before you sit. [chuckles] 219 00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:55,208 - So good seeing you. - Yeah. 220 00:07:55,291 --> 00:07:58,083 - Thanks for the tip. - [clears throat] 221 00:08:01,375 --> 00:08:02,541 - [exhales heavily] 222 00:08:02,625 --> 00:08:04,416 - Uh, here's another toothpaste. 223 00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:07,541 That was so awkward. I feel bad. 224 00:08:07,625 --> 00:08:10,541 [upbeat music] 225 00:08:10,625 --> 00:08:16,708 ♪ ♪ 226 00:08:17,791 --> 00:08:19,375 - [gasps] Hi, pancake! 227 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:22,541 - Can we finally hang tonight? - Ooh, can't tonight. 228 00:08:22,625 --> 00:08:24,291 Tomorrow? - Yeah, yeah. 229 00:08:24,375 --> 00:08:26,250 - Hey! Toothpaste girl! 230 00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:28,875 - You know each other? - Yeah, we go way back. 231 00:08:28,958 --> 00:08:30,125 I'm her toothpaste dealer. 232 00:08:30,208 --> 00:08:31,666 - Well, you're a terrible dealer. 233 00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:33,000 You didn't even charge me. 234 00:08:33,083 --> 00:08:35,375 - Well, the first one's always free. 235 00:08:35,458 --> 00:08:36,750 I'm George. - Ava. 236 00:08:36,833 --> 00:08:39,500 - Well, I think this is a very good omen. 237 00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:42,458 I feel like we're about to win a bunch of money together. 238 00:08:42,541 --> 00:08:44,500 I'm all in. - He's all in. 239 00:08:44,583 --> 00:08:45,625 - [chuckles] 240 00:08:45,708 --> 00:08:47,583 - [sighs] Okay, Ava. 241 00:08:47,666 --> 00:08:49,083 What do you think? Do you want to hit or stand? 242 00:08:49,166 --> 00:08:50,916 - No, no. That's a bad idea. 243 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,166 - She's my good luck charm. 244 00:08:52,250 --> 00:08:53,250 I want her to decide. 245 00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,875 - [chuckles] Um... 246 00:08:56,708 --> 00:09:00,083 Um, Jack is ten? - Jack's ten. 247 00:09:00,166 --> 00:09:02,583 - Two, carry the one... 248 00:09:02,666 --> 00:09:05,458 Hi--hit? - Hit. 249 00:09:05,541 --> 00:09:07,958 Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on! 250 00:09:08,041 --> 00:09:09,875 Oh! - I told you! 251 00:09:09,958 --> 00:09:12,291 Look, I love her, she's so cute, 252 00:09:12,375 --> 00:09:14,333 she's amazing, but she sucks at blackjack. 253 00:09:14,416 --> 00:09:15,958 - Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. 254 00:09:16,041 --> 00:09:18,750 - What? Three grand to meet Ava? 255 00:09:18,833 --> 00:09:20,833 Seems worth it to me. 256 00:09:20,916 --> 00:09:24,250 - Okay, love that. I do have to ask you 257 00:09:24,333 --> 00:09:25,958 to vacate the table, though, if you're not gonna play. 258 00:09:26,041 --> 00:09:27,958 - Oh, yeah, of course. Fair, sorry. 259 00:09:28,041 --> 00:09:29,875 - I'll see you tomorrow. - Tomorrow, promise. 260 00:09:29,958 --> 00:09:31,791 - So did I hear you say that you lived here? 261 00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:32,875 That's cool. 262 00:09:32,958 --> 00:09:34,625 - Uh, yeah, no, no. 263 00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,125 It's really not. 264 00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:37,916 You know how the thing about Vegas is 265 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,958 you come, you party, and then on Sunday morning, 266 00:09:40,041 --> 00:09:41,500 you wanna get home as soon as possible? 267 00:09:41,583 --> 00:09:42,583 - Right, yeah. 268 00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:44,166 - Well, my entire life 269 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,666 is that Sunday morning, 270 00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:47,541 but I can't leave. 271 00:09:47,625 --> 00:09:49,208 I've never even partied here. 272 00:09:49,291 --> 00:09:50,916 - Seriously? 273 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,375 Well, my God. 274 00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:53,875 Then we gotta make up for lost time. 275 00:09:53,958 --> 00:09:55,791 You know that fancy Michelin star restaurant 276 00:09:55,875 --> 00:09:58,083 that's up on the third floor? - Yeah. 277 00:09:58,166 --> 00:10:01,000 - Do you wanna do coke in their bathroom? 278 00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:02,458 - [sniffs] 279 00:10:02,541 --> 00:10:04,375 So where are you from? - Originally? 280 00:10:04,458 --> 00:10:05,791 Yarmouth, Massachusetts. 281 00:10:05,875 --> 00:10:07,500 - No way! I'm from Waltham. 282 00:10:07,583 --> 00:10:09,250 Look at us! We're both from Mass, 283 00:10:09,333 --> 00:10:11,541 and we love cocaine. What are the odds? 284 00:10:11,625 --> 00:10:13,333 - Okay, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait. 285 00:10:13,416 --> 00:10:15,125 Were you a Papa Gino's house or were you a Bertucci's house? 286 00:10:15,208 --> 00:10:16,958 This is very important. - Papa Gino's. 287 00:10:17,041 --> 00:10:18,916 What am I, made of money? Come on. 288 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,541 - [laughs] [sniffs] 289 00:10:20,625 --> 00:10:22,458 You're funny. I would've had such a crush 290 00:10:22,541 --> 00:10:23,833 on you in high school. 291 00:10:23,916 --> 00:10:25,083 - [laughs] I don't think so. 292 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,875 I--I wasn't cool in high school. 293 00:10:26,958 --> 00:10:28,291 Mostly because of my name. 294 00:10:28,375 --> 00:10:30,166 - Your name? What do you mean? 295 00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:31,541 - Oh, um, yeah. 296 00:10:31,625 --> 00:10:33,458 So we'd say certain words backwards so our parents 297 00:10:33,541 --> 00:10:35,000 wouldn't know what we were talking about. 298 00:10:35,083 --> 00:10:36,708 So, like, beer was "reeb," 299 00:10:36,791 --> 00:10:38,750 and all the cool kids had nicknames. 300 00:10:38,833 --> 00:10:41,666 So, like, Jon was "Noj" and Jen S. was "Snej," 301 00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:43,541 and I think a big reason I wasn't cool in high school 302 00:10:43,625 --> 00:10:47,750 was 'cause, you know, Ava backwards is just "Ava." 303 00:10:47,833 --> 00:10:49,666 - But wait, why didn't you just use your last initial 304 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,041 like Jen S. did? 305 00:10:51,125 --> 00:10:52,666 - [sniffs] 306 00:10:52,750 --> 00:10:54,625 Fuck! - [laughs] 307 00:10:54,708 --> 00:10:56,291 - Well, even if I had, 308 00:10:56,375 --> 00:10:57,875 I was still pretty busted in high school. 309 00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,375 Nobody told me you weren't supposed to brush 310 00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:01,666 wavy hair, so... - [sniffs] 311 00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:03,541 So, what, you got hot in college, then? 312 00:11:03,625 --> 00:11:06,500 - [laughs] No, not that either. 313 00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:08,583 It got a little better when I figured out my birth control 314 00:11:08,666 --> 00:11:10,583 and lost my acne beard, but, uh, 315 00:11:10,666 --> 00:11:12,750 also, I was only in college for, like, two years anyway. 316 00:11:12,833 --> 00:11:14,583 I left early 'cause I got a writing job, 317 00:11:14,666 --> 00:11:17,375 and then that sort of imploded, 318 00:11:17,458 --> 00:11:20,750 and I moved here to work a job that I hate. 319 00:11:20,833 --> 00:11:24,041 Just the sort of classic story. [laughs] 320 00:11:24,125 --> 00:11:26,875 - So you're on birth control? - [laughs] 321 00:11:26,958 --> 00:11:28,500 That's what you got out of all that? 322 00:11:28,583 --> 00:11:29,916 - [giggles] No. 323 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,333 I--I got the other stuff too. 324 00:11:32,416 --> 00:11:33,833 [sniffs] 325 00:11:33,916 --> 00:11:35,916 You know, you really don't have to change. 326 00:11:36,833 --> 00:11:39,291 - No, if we're going to a Vegas club, 327 00:11:39,375 --> 00:11:41,458 I legally have to wear a highly flammable dress. 328 00:11:41,541 --> 00:11:43,958 - [chuckles] - [laughs] 329 00:11:44,041 --> 00:11:45,875 - What's with this TV? 330 00:11:45,958 --> 00:11:47,375 - Ugh, I've complained a bunch. 331 00:11:47,458 --> 00:11:49,041 They won't do anything about it. 332 00:11:54,083 --> 00:11:56,541 - Well, if they won't do anything-- 333 00:11:56,625 --> 00:11:58,125 - What are you doing? 334 00:11:58,208 --> 00:11:59,958 - [groans] 335 00:12:00,041 --> 00:12:00,958 - [laughs] 336 00:12:01,041 --> 00:12:03,500 - Now they have to fix it. 337 00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:07,958 [groans] There. 338 00:12:08,041 --> 00:12:09,125 If you're not happy with something, 339 00:12:09,208 --> 00:12:11,291 you gotta change it, right? 340 00:12:11,375 --> 00:12:12,958 - Yeah. - You ready? 341 00:12:13,041 --> 00:12:14,333 Let's go. 342 00:12:14,416 --> 00:12:16,791 [upbeat music] 343 00:12:16,875 --> 00:12:18,791 - Yeah, now I just wash all my clothes in the sink 344 00:12:18,875 --> 00:12:21,458 like an old Italian woman. - [chuckles] 345 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:22,791 - Oh, my God. 346 00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:24,791 - What? - I know those girls. 347 00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:26,125 They said they were going to bed early. 348 00:12:26,208 --> 00:12:28,208 They fucking lied to me. 349 00:12:31,458 --> 00:12:33,333 Oh, hey. 350 00:12:33,416 --> 00:12:35,125 - Oh, Ava. Hi. 351 00:12:35,208 --> 00:12:37,333 - What happened to spa appointments? 352 00:12:37,416 --> 00:12:39,708 Guess I'm still being punished for my tweet, huh? 353 00:12:39,791 --> 00:12:41,541 My fucking scarlet T. 354 00:12:41,625 --> 00:12:44,958 - Dude, nobody cares about your fucking tweet. 355 00:12:45,041 --> 00:12:47,500 You were an asshole before the tweet. 356 00:12:47,583 --> 00:12:49,083 - Excuse me? - Honestly, 357 00:12:49,166 --> 00:12:50,125 we were getting a second wind, 358 00:12:50,208 --> 00:12:51,416 and I was gonna text you. 359 00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:53,208 But when I scrolled up on our messages, 360 00:12:53,291 --> 00:12:55,083 the last thing you asked me was for a plus one 361 00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:57,833 to my premiere party, and when I said that I couldn't, 362 00:12:57,916 --> 00:13:00,250 you wrote, "Wow." 363 00:13:00,333 --> 00:13:02,041 - Okay, who are you, the court stenographer? 364 00:13:02,125 --> 00:13:03,708 What the fuck? - Oh, come on, Ava. 365 00:13:03,791 --> 00:13:05,666 Everyone knows you're, like, this career-obsessed-- 366 00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:07,208 - Opportunist. - Yes. 367 00:13:07,291 --> 00:13:09,416 - So we weren't exactly all rushing to defend you 368 00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:10,875 when everything went down. 369 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,541 Sorry to be so blunt, but we're on coke. 370 00:13:13,625 --> 00:13:15,958 - You guys did coke? - Well, guess what. 371 00:13:16,041 --> 00:13:18,625 I'm on coke too. And also, fuck you! 372 00:13:18,708 --> 00:13:20,166 You think you're so great 'cause you made 373 00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:23,208 one mediocre indie about lesbians in Oakland? 374 00:13:23,291 --> 00:13:24,541 Let's see what you do next. 375 00:13:24,625 --> 00:13:26,125 - I'm actually directing a Marvel movie. 376 00:13:26,208 --> 00:13:29,041 - Okay, how does that even make sense? 377 00:13:29,125 --> 00:13:30,708 You know what? Good luck with that. 378 00:13:30,791 --> 00:13:32,666 - Kevin loves the direction we're going in, so... 379 00:13:32,750 --> 00:13:34,000 - That's great. Well, guess what. 380 00:13:34,083 --> 00:13:35,083 In my next project, 381 00:13:35,166 --> 00:13:36,333 I'm gonna name all the villains 382 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,333 Cat and Jules and Victoria 383 00:13:38,416 --> 00:13:39,541 and fucking... 384 00:13:39,625 --> 00:13:42,208 - Hallie. - Hallie. 385 00:13:42,291 --> 00:13:43,916 - Fuck you, Hallie. 386 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,916 [jazzy music] 387 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,166 - Thanks, I know where I'm going. 388 00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:51,250 ♪ ♪ 389 00:13:51,333 --> 00:13:54,708 Oh, they're not here? 390 00:13:54,791 --> 00:13:56,125 Am I early? 391 00:13:56,208 --> 00:13:58,875 - That's very funny. They left 20 minutes ago. 392 00:13:59,833 --> 00:14:03,166 - They didn't finish the Dom? How rude. 393 00:14:03,250 --> 00:14:04,791 I'm glad I missed them. 394 00:14:04,875 --> 00:14:06,166 Oh, oops. Sorry, sorry, 395 00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:07,916 sorry, sorry. [chuckles] 396 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:11,083 - Okay. You're drunk. 397 00:14:11,166 --> 00:14:14,125 - Oh, who are you, my 1950s housewife? 398 00:14:14,208 --> 00:14:16,958 Come on! We're celebrating! 399 00:14:17,041 --> 00:14:20,000 I got my Fridays and Saturdays back from Marty. 400 00:14:20,083 --> 00:14:24,416 All it took was just a little tiny bit of blackmail. 401 00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:26,166 - Greetings! What can I get for you? 402 00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:27,375 - Yes! 403 00:14:27,458 --> 00:14:29,416 Two vodka martinis. Dirty, please. 404 00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:31,416 - Just one. I'm not celebrating anything. 405 00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:33,750 - No, two. I will have them both. 406 00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:36,291 - [chuckles] No problem. 407 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,166 - Do you know how hard it was to carve out 408 00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:40,083 this Cinchers deal from QVC? 409 00:14:40,166 --> 00:14:42,291 - As--as hard as it is to get into them? 410 00:14:42,375 --> 00:14:44,458 [giggles] - And you blackmailed Marty? 411 00:14:44,541 --> 00:14:46,125 It's a Vegas residency, Deborah, 412 00:14:46,208 --> 00:14:47,958 not an Agatha Christie novel. 413 00:14:48,041 --> 00:14:49,875 - [snorts] - I have an actual plan. 414 00:14:49,958 --> 00:14:51,666 - Oh, please. He loved it! 415 00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:53,291 He loves this. - You think you can keep Marty 416 00:14:53,375 --> 00:14:55,000 off your back like this forever? 417 00:14:55,083 --> 00:14:57,333 You need to let me set you up for the future, 418 00:14:57,416 --> 00:14:58,458 one without dates. 419 00:14:58,541 --> 00:14:59,541 - No, I-- - If-- 420 00:14:59,625 --> 00:15:00,625 - No one's gonna take my show 421 00:15:00,708 --> 00:15:01,750 away from me! 422 00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:02,833 It's my show! 423 00:15:02,916 --> 00:15:06,458 Everything else is just extra. 424 00:15:07,458 --> 00:15:09,625 - "Just extra." 425 00:15:09,708 --> 00:15:11,125 Well, then maybe you should listen to Ava 426 00:15:11,208 --> 00:15:14,083 and start actually improving your material. 427 00:15:15,541 --> 00:15:17,375 Have a good night. 428 00:15:20,875 --> 00:15:23,500 - Perfect timing. - I just have to say, 429 00:15:23,583 --> 00:15:27,416 my mother went on your cruise. She's a huge fan. 430 00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:30,583 - What's her name? - Carol. 431 00:15:30,666 --> 00:15:33,666 - Carol. Well, here's to Carol. 432 00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:35,166 - I couldn't take a self-- - Please. 433 00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:36,666 - Yeah, great. 434 00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:42,666 - That was brutal! - Hey, forget about those guys. 435 00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:44,500 Who even likes Marvel movies anyway? 436 00:15:44,583 --> 00:15:47,291 - Literally everyone. Fuck! 437 00:15:47,375 --> 00:15:48,708 They're right. 438 00:15:48,791 --> 00:15:51,416 The second I saw them, my first thought was, 439 00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:54,333 "Great, I can use them to network my way back to LA." 440 00:15:54,416 --> 00:15:58,291 And my boss was right too. I am a little shit. 441 00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:01,750 I've been, like, obsessed with being cool and popular. 442 00:16:01,833 --> 00:16:04,666 It's fucking pathetic and so basic. 443 00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:07,208 - Really? I think you're pretty amazing. 444 00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:08,916 - That's 'cause you don't know me. 445 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,750 - It only took me three hours to figure out 446 00:16:10,833 --> 00:16:14,208 that you're funny, you're cool, you're smart. 447 00:16:14,291 --> 00:16:16,625 So you're a little ambitious. So what? 448 00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:18,375 You're in a cutthroat industry. 449 00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:20,541 And you said you had a little success early, right? 450 00:16:20,625 --> 00:16:22,625 They're probably just jealous. 451 00:16:23,458 --> 00:16:27,208 - I don't really have friends, George. 452 00:16:27,291 --> 00:16:28,958 I think that's, like, a huge red flag 453 00:16:29,041 --> 00:16:30,958 about me as a human being. 454 00:16:31,041 --> 00:16:32,500 - You're born alone, and you die alone. 455 00:16:32,583 --> 00:16:35,375 You don't need anybody else. - I don't know. 456 00:16:35,458 --> 00:16:38,458 I--I think I might need to change... 457 00:16:40,375 --> 00:16:42,291 My entire personality. 458 00:16:42,375 --> 00:16:44,333 - Really? I mean, technically, changing 459 00:16:44,416 --> 00:16:47,375 your entire personality is an option. 460 00:16:47,458 --> 00:16:49,125 But do you know what the real work is? 461 00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:50,750 The real work is accepting 462 00:16:50,833 --> 00:16:52,333 and loving yourself for who you are 463 00:16:52,416 --> 00:16:54,416 and all the good stuff that you do. 464 00:16:57,875 --> 00:17:01,000 - I guess I do some good stuff. 465 00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:02,583 [sniffs] 466 00:17:02,666 --> 00:17:04,583 I send money to my parents every month. 467 00:17:04,666 --> 00:17:07,083 - See? You're basically Mother Teresa. 468 00:17:07,166 --> 00:17:08,875 My father's in my phone as "Dickhead." 469 00:17:08,958 --> 00:17:10,833 - [chuckles] 470 00:17:10,916 --> 00:17:12,250 [sniffs] 471 00:17:12,333 --> 00:17:15,583 - Look, um, I know two things. 472 00:17:15,666 --> 00:17:19,666 You are a good person, and we need to do some Molly. 473 00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:25,583 [soft music] 474 00:17:25,666 --> 00:17:26,791 ♪ ♪ 475 00:17:26,875 --> 00:17:28,416 - [laughs] 476 00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:33,500 ♪ ♪ 477 00:17:33,583 --> 00:17:36,416 - ♪ Daydreaming, I stay in the back seat ♪ 478 00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:39,250 ♪ The slow beat rocks me back to sleep ♪ 479 00:17:39,333 --> 00:17:42,541 ♪ Keeps me on automatic ♪ 480 00:17:42,625 --> 00:17:47,083 ♪ ♪ 481 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:50,750 ♪ Press my face up close against the glass ♪ 482 00:17:50,833 --> 00:17:53,375 [laughter] 483 00:17:53,458 --> 00:17:56,708 - Hey, do you wanna try the club again? 484 00:17:56,791 --> 00:17:58,083 - The line was insane last time, 485 00:17:58,166 --> 00:18:00,458 and it's probably gonna be worse now. 486 00:18:00,541 --> 00:18:02,666 ♪ ♪ 487 00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:04,333 - You know what? 488 00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:08,041 I think I actually know another way in. 489 00:18:08,125 --> 00:18:10,291 - Okay. 490 00:18:10,375 --> 00:18:11,541 - [chuckles] 491 00:18:11,625 --> 00:18:14,041 - ♪ Don't let this go ♪ 492 00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:19,083 ♪ Don't let the love fade away ♪ 493 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,333 ♪ ♪ 494 00:18:21,416 --> 00:18:23,625 - Perks of living in a casino. 495 00:18:23,708 --> 00:18:25,000 - You come down here a lot? 496 00:18:25,083 --> 00:18:27,125 - [laughs] 497 00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:28,916 Deborah? 498 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,250 - Ava? 499 00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:31,708 [laughs] 500 00:18:31,791 --> 00:18:33,333 [gasps] Wow. 501 00:18:33,416 --> 00:18:37,291 I don't think I've ever seen you not wearing pants. 502 00:18:37,375 --> 00:18:38,666 What, did somebody die? 503 00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:40,166 - Yeah, oh, you wanna talk about clothes? 504 00:18:40,250 --> 00:18:41,625 You look like you let a tailor loose 505 00:18:41,708 --> 00:18:43,166 in an antique carpet store, 506 00:18:43,250 --> 00:18:45,791 and I'll have you know I can dress however I want. 507 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:47,250 Okay? Thank you. 508 00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:49,250 - Well, when I was doing stand-up at your age, 509 00:18:49,333 --> 00:18:52,000 I had to wear a dress and heels. 510 00:18:52,083 --> 00:18:54,041 - Okay, I'm--I'm sorry I don't have to. 511 00:18:54,125 --> 00:18:56,958 Are you--are you, like, mad at me about that? 512 00:18:59,125 --> 00:19:01,083 - Yes. - Wait a second. 513 00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:03,541 [chuckles] You're drunk. 514 00:19:03,625 --> 00:19:05,166 - No, I am not. You are. 515 00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:07,041 - No, no. I'm on cocaine and Molly. 516 00:19:07,125 --> 00:19:09,458 - [laughs nervously] Hi, I'm George. 517 00:19:09,541 --> 00:19:11,333 - Oh, hi. - Hi. 518 00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:15,875 - Oh, what's going on here? 519 00:19:15,958 --> 00:19:16,916 Premarital sex? 520 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,375 - Deborah! - [chuckles] 521 00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,916 [whispering] He's cute, good for you. 522 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,750 [normally] Oh, just FYI, 523 00:19:24,833 --> 00:19:27,250 I've heard that she has deeper 524 00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,375 sexual experiences with women. 525 00:19:29,458 --> 00:19:31,791 - Oh, my God. Okay, you're my witness. 526 00:19:31,875 --> 00:19:33,708 She's my boss. She could be arrested 527 00:19:33,791 --> 00:19:35,625 for saying that, right? - Oh, please! 528 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:37,500 Roman Polanski is still feasting 529 00:19:37,583 --> 00:19:39,000 on fois gras in the sixth. 530 00:19:39,083 --> 00:19:40,958 I don't think I'm gonna get busted for saying 531 00:19:41,041 --> 00:19:44,333 my bisexual employee has bi sex. 532 00:19:44,416 --> 00:19:46,708 [chuckles] Am I? 533 00:19:46,791 --> 00:19:48,583 - I--I wouldn't. 534 00:19:48,666 --> 00:19:50,750 - Okay, this was fun. 535 00:19:50,833 --> 00:19:52,958 Yeah, okay. Excuse me. 536 00:19:53,041 --> 00:19:55,708 Oh, you don't have your Diva cup in, do you? 537 00:19:55,791 --> 00:19:58,125 - Oh, my God. - [giggles] 538 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:01,916 - Damn, she's pretty rough. 539 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,083 - Well--yeah, that was actually 540 00:20:03,166 --> 00:20:04,666 one of our better interactions. 541 00:20:04,750 --> 00:20:06,208 - You know, for somebody who doesn't have any friends 542 00:20:06,291 --> 00:20:08,791 in Vegas, you run into a lot of people here. 543 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:11,000 - Yeah, well, too bad none of them like me. 544 00:20:11,083 --> 00:20:12,500 - I like you. 545 00:20:14,208 --> 00:20:18,083 [smooth guitar music] 546 00:20:18,166 --> 00:20:21,000 Hey, do you, um-- do you wanna skip the club 547 00:20:21,083 --> 00:20:23,291 and just go up to my room instead? 548 00:20:23,375 --> 00:20:26,000 - I absolutely consent. 549 00:20:27,833 --> 00:20:28,958 Oh, um, no. 550 00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:30,875 Your--your room's actually this way. 551 00:20:30,958 --> 00:20:32,208 - Oh, right. 552 00:20:32,291 --> 00:20:34,416 ♪ ♪ 553 00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:37,458 Hey, wait, wait. This is my last $100. 554 00:20:37,541 --> 00:20:39,333 - How much did you lose tonight? 555 00:20:39,416 --> 00:20:40,625 - Like, 60 grand. 556 00:20:40,708 --> 00:20:42,458 - You lost $60,000 tonight? 557 00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:45,250 - Yes, but you are going to take my last $100, 558 00:20:45,333 --> 00:20:46,833 and you're gonna go win. - No. 559 00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:48,958 We have established over the course of this evening 560 00:20:49,041 --> 00:20:50,666 that I am a giant loser. 561 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,791 - Ava! Don't say that. 562 00:20:52,875 --> 00:20:56,208 You--you are a winner. 563 00:20:56,291 --> 00:20:58,041 So I want you to take this money 564 00:20:58,125 --> 00:21:01,125 and pick something really special. 565 00:21:01,208 --> 00:21:03,333 And go win. 566 00:21:03,416 --> 00:21:06,916 ♪ ♪ 567 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,791 - I know the perfect game. 568 00:21:08,875 --> 00:21:12,250 - All righty, then! 569 00:21:12,333 --> 00:21:14,791 [laughs] 570 00:21:14,875 --> 00:21:17,000 Do not go in there! 571 00:21:17,083 --> 00:21:18,291 Whoo! 572 00:21:18,375 --> 00:21:21,958 Coach, just give me a chance! 573 00:21:22,041 --> 00:21:25,833 ♪ ♪ 574 00:21:25,916 --> 00:21:29,750 - All righty, then. All righty, then. 575 00:21:29,833 --> 00:21:32,000 [gasps] Oh, my God! - Oh, my God! 576 00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:33,125 [machine dinging] 577 00:21:33,208 --> 00:21:35,208 Oh, my God! - Holy-- 578 00:21:35,291 --> 00:21:37,416 - Holy shit! 579 00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:44,583 ♪ ♪ 580 00:22:16,833 --> 00:22:18,083 - Do you want the last reeb? 581 00:22:18,166 --> 00:22:20,416 - Huh? Oh, beer. 582 00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:22,625 [chuckles] Yes, good. 583 00:22:22,708 --> 00:22:23,833 [sighs] 584 00:22:23,916 --> 00:22:25,916 I still can't believe I won. God! 585 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:30,000 It's like I'm almost not even a lahoo-suh-herr anymore. 586 00:22:30,083 --> 00:22:32,291 Sorry, that was not hot. Sorry. 587 00:22:32,375 --> 00:22:34,000 Oh, tomorrow morning, we should go 588 00:22:34,083 --> 00:22:35,791 to the Mirage next door and get the breakfast sandwiches. 589 00:22:35,875 --> 00:22:37,750 It's literally the only good thing about living here. 590 00:22:37,833 --> 00:22:39,583 - Yeah, sure. - [sighing] Oh, my God! 591 00:22:39,666 --> 00:22:42,500 This is the first night I've had any fun here. 592 00:22:42,583 --> 00:22:45,708 At all. I just, like, hate my job. 593 00:22:45,791 --> 00:22:48,083 - Well, then I think you gotta do something about it, right? 594 00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:49,583 - Should I rip the TV off the wall? 595 00:22:49,666 --> 00:22:51,000 I've done so much cocaine. 596 00:22:51,083 --> 00:22:52,583 I really think I could. - No, I just mean, 597 00:22:52,666 --> 00:22:54,250 if there's something that is in your life 598 00:22:54,333 --> 00:22:57,625 that you don't like that you know that is not working, 599 00:22:57,708 --> 00:22:59,125 you need to change it, you know? 600 00:22:59,208 --> 00:23:01,291 You can't just let it go. Like your boss. 601 00:23:01,375 --> 00:23:03,000 If that was a good interaction between you two, 602 00:23:03,083 --> 00:23:04,833 then you are in an abusive relationship. 603 00:23:04,916 --> 00:23:07,666 - I wanna quit, but I clearly have no options 604 00:23:07,750 --> 00:23:09,458 back in LA. I mean, you saw those girls. 605 00:23:09,541 --> 00:23:11,083 They want nothing to do with me. 606 00:23:11,166 --> 00:23:13,750 They fucking hate me. - But fuck those LA girls! 607 00:23:13,833 --> 00:23:15,791 And you don't need your shitty boss either. 608 00:23:15,875 --> 00:23:18,458 You're an artist. You're a writer. 609 00:23:18,541 --> 00:23:21,166 You just need yourself, you know? 610 00:23:21,250 --> 00:23:22,625 And this pen. 611 00:23:22,708 --> 00:23:24,291 - That's my vape. But you know what? 612 00:23:24,375 --> 00:23:25,750 You're right. You're right. 613 00:23:25,833 --> 00:23:27,791 Why the fuck am I wasting my life here? 614 00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:28,958 So I can't go back to LA, 615 00:23:29,041 --> 00:23:30,333 whatever. I--I'm still a writer. 616 00:23:30,416 --> 00:23:31,958 I can write anything from anywhere. 617 00:23:32,041 --> 00:23:33,375 I could get a cabin! 618 00:23:33,458 --> 00:23:35,416 Joan Didion did that one time, I think. 619 00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:36,791 - Yes, see! 620 00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:38,583 Yes! That's what I mean, you know? 621 00:23:38,666 --> 00:23:40,208 There can't be any rules. 622 00:23:40,291 --> 00:23:41,583 You have to go and do your art. 623 00:23:41,666 --> 00:23:43,000 - I'm gonna quit. - Yeah? 624 00:23:43,083 --> 00:23:44,458 - I'm gonna quit! - I wanna see you quit! 625 00:23:44,541 --> 00:23:45,916 - I'm quitting now! - Go quit! 626 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,500 - I'm gonna--okay. - Just go quit, 627 00:23:47,583 --> 00:23:49,208 because you know what? Sometimes the universe 628 00:23:49,291 --> 00:23:51,916 gives you a path, and you say, "I'm gonna fucking jump," 629 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,666 and the net will appear. Right? 630 00:23:53,750 --> 00:23:56,458 - [sniffs] - Am I sweating? 631 00:23:56,541 --> 00:23:57,708 [line rings] 632 00:23:57,791 --> 00:23:58,958 - You've reached Deborah Vance. 633 00:23:59,041 --> 00:24:00,125 Leave a message. 634 00:24:00,208 --> 00:24:01,166 [line beeps] 635 00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:02,500 - Hey, it's Ava. 636 00:24:02,583 --> 00:24:04,708 So I don't think this is gonna work out, 637 00:24:04,791 --> 00:24:06,333 'cause you treat me like shit. 638 00:24:06,416 --> 00:24:08,291 And also, you don't need a writer. 639 00:24:08,375 --> 00:24:10,833 You need a psychiatrist, 'cause you're fucking crazy! 640 00:24:10,916 --> 00:24:12,833 And I hate calling women crazy, but in this case, 641 00:24:12,916 --> 00:24:14,500 it applies, 'cause you actually are. 642 00:24:14,583 --> 00:24:16,125 So yeah. I quit! 643 00:24:16,208 --> 00:24:18,208 Why don't you get yourself a book on attachment theory 644 00:24:18,291 --> 00:24:19,750 and a bottle of Ativan? 645 00:24:19,833 --> 00:24:21,541 Fucking goodbye! 646 00:24:21,625 --> 00:24:23,000 Oh, whoo! - Yes! 647 00:24:23,083 --> 00:24:25,000 - That felt so good! - Holy fucking shit! 648 00:24:25,083 --> 00:24:26,875 That was amazing! - Oh, my God. 649 00:24:26,958 --> 00:24:28,375 - You are so fucking incredible. 650 00:24:28,458 --> 00:24:29,666 - Oh, that felt good. These drugs are good. 651 00:24:29,750 --> 00:24:31,208 - I know. They're really good, 652 00:24:31,291 --> 00:24:32,791 which is awesome, because it can be a crapshoot 653 00:24:32,875 --> 00:24:34,041 when you buy from a homeless guy. 654 00:24:34,125 --> 00:24:35,708 - Wait, what? First of all, 655 00:24:35,791 --> 00:24:38,541 they're unhoused residents. That is scary, though. 656 00:24:38,625 --> 00:24:39,875 - You're incredible. 657 00:24:39,958 --> 00:24:42,916 [dramatic music] 658 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:46,666 ♪ ♪ 659 00:24:46,750 --> 00:24:48,041 You still awake? 660 00:24:48,125 --> 00:24:51,041 - Yep, I'm writing something really good. 661 00:24:51,125 --> 00:24:55,791 ♪ ♪ 662 00:24:55,875 --> 00:24:58,291 [whispering] This'll sell. 663 00:24:58,375 --> 00:25:05,500 ♪ ♪ 664 00:25:27,708 --> 00:25:30,833 [cell phone rings] 665 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,083 Hi, Jimmy. - Hey. 666 00:25:34,166 --> 00:25:36,250 Was your email hacked? 667 00:25:36,333 --> 00:25:38,000 - Uh, I don't think so. 668 00:25:38,083 --> 00:25:40,083 - Ugh, no. I was really hoping it was. 669 00:25:40,166 --> 00:25:41,541 You sent me an email at 4:00 a.m. 670 00:25:41,625 --> 00:25:43,041 The subject was "Potential Franchise," 671 00:25:43,125 --> 00:25:44,875 and it was just one very long sentence. 672 00:25:44,958 --> 00:25:49,458 It said, "What if first girl band during Salem Witch Trials 673 00:25:49,541 --> 00:25:51,125 but prestige drama." 674 00:25:51,208 --> 00:25:53,333 No punctuation. Very hard to follow. 675 00:25:53,416 --> 00:25:55,083 - Huh. - Yeah, huh. 676 00:25:55,166 --> 00:25:56,458 And then you sent me a whole nother email 677 00:25:56,541 --> 00:25:57,625 with a list of names that included 678 00:25:57,708 --> 00:25:59,250 Glenn Close and Ashley Olsen. 679 00:25:59,333 --> 00:26:00,666 Is that the Olsen you meant? 680 00:26:00,750 --> 00:26:01,916 - Yeah, let me give that 681 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,458 a reread before you send it out. 682 00:26:03,541 --> 00:26:05,541 - Hmm, not something I'm on the verge of doing. 683 00:26:05,625 --> 00:26:07,208 Don't you worry. - Sorry, you gotta use 684 00:26:07,291 --> 00:26:09,791 the side entrance. Someone just jumped. 685 00:26:10,750 --> 00:26:12,666 - Jimmy, let me call you back. 686 00:26:12,750 --> 00:26:15,041 Jumped? Jesus. 687 00:26:15,125 --> 00:26:17,666 - Yeah, happens all the time. People come here, 688 00:26:17,750 --> 00:26:19,958 blow all their money on drugs and hookers, 689 00:26:20,041 --> 00:26:22,208 live it up, and then boom! 690 00:26:22,291 --> 00:26:24,875 You gotta get a wet vac. It's a mess. 691 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,416 So you're gonna have to go that way. 692 00:26:26,500 --> 00:26:28,375 Turn around. 693 00:26:28,458 --> 00:26:30,458 - Yeah. 694 00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:36,458 [mid-tempo music] 695 00:26:36,541 --> 00:26:43,625 ♪ ♪ 696 00:27:02,250 --> 00:27:05,041 [wind whooshing] 697 00:27:11,333 --> 00:27:13,791 No, he-- 698 00:27:13,875 --> 00:27:15,500 he didn't mention much of anything 699 00:27:15,583 --> 00:27:18,000 because I--I talked about myself the whole night, 700 00:27:18,083 --> 00:27:20,333 because I fucking suck. 701 00:27:21,958 --> 00:27:25,333 Um, he was a Papa Gino's guy. I-- 702 00:27:25,416 --> 00:27:26,666 - Okay. 703 00:27:26,750 --> 00:27:29,000 Well, let us know if you think of anything. 704 00:27:29,083 --> 00:27:32,125 Looks like he skipped town after he was found guilty 705 00:27:32,208 --> 00:27:34,250 of defrauding a bunch of elderly people. 706 00:27:34,333 --> 00:27:35,958 - Elder fraud? 707 00:27:36,041 --> 00:27:39,166 - Yeah. You have our info, so... 708 00:27:43,291 --> 00:27:46,375 [cell phone buzzing] 709 00:27:49,083 --> 00:27:50,750 - Oh, fuck. 710 00:27:50,833 --> 00:27:54,750 [upbeat music] 711 00:27:54,833 --> 00:27:56,125 [horns honking] 712 00:27:56,208 --> 00:27:58,625 [tires squealing] 713 00:27:58,708 --> 00:28:00,833 ♪ ♪ 714 00:28:00,916 --> 00:28:02,083 Call Deborah Vance. 715 00:28:02,166 --> 00:28:03,583 [line rings] 716 00:28:03,666 --> 00:28:04,916 - You've reached Deborah Vance. 717 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,083 Leave a message. [line beeps] 718 00:28:07,166 --> 00:28:08,500 - Deborah, if you're getting this message, 719 00:28:08,583 --> 00:28:10,416 please disregard my message last night. 720 00:28:10,500 --> 00:28:12,083 I--I did not mean any of that. 721 00:28:12,166 --> 00:28:14,125 I got some really bad advice. 722 00:28:14,208 --> 00:28:16,291 I'm on my way to explain in person. 723 00:28:16,375 --> 00:28:17,833 ♪ ♪ 724 00:28:17,916 --> 00:28:19,333 End call. 725 00:28:19,416 --> 00:28:22,916 ♪ ♪ 726 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:24,791 - Oh, Marcus. You're not coming. 727 00:28:24,875 --> 00:28:26,625 - Excuse me? - Well, since you're so sure 728 00:28:26,708 --> 00:28:28,208 that I need to work on my material, 729 00:28:28,291 --> 00:28:29,916 that's what I'm gonna spend the weekend doing. 730 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,250 Ava and I are gonna have a little writer's retreat. 731 00:28:32,333 --> 00:28:33,833 - Mm. - Oh, and would you mind 732 00:28:33,916 --> 00:28:36,125 making sure that Barry takes his heartworm pills? 733 00:28:36,208 --> 00:28:37,541 Thank you. 734 00:28:37,625 --> 00:28:40,208 ♪ ♪ 735 00:28:40,291 --> 00:28:42,250 - Deborah, I-- - Jesus! 736 00:28:42,333 --> 00:28:43,875 I said I liked the dress, not that you have 737 00:28:43,958 --> 00:28:46,791 to wear it every day. But good timing. 738 00:28:46,875 --> 00:28:48,000 You are coming with me. 739 00:28:48,083 --> 00:28:49,375 - What? Wait, where are we going? 740 00:28:49,458 --> 00:28:51,416 - You're going on the retreat instead. 741 00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:53,125 I'm actually getting a little eyelid maintenance, 742 00:28:53,208 --> 00:28:55,000 but maybe we can do a little bit of work, you know, 743 00:28:55,083 --> 00:28:56,291 while I'm recovering. 744 00:28:56,375 --> 00:28:59,791 Josefina, did you ever find my phone? 745 00:28:59,875 --> 00:29:01,750 - It was on the toilet. 746 00:29:01,833 --> 00:29:03,791 - Thank you. 747 00:29:03,875 --> 00:29:05,375 Anyway, my appointment's at noon. 748 00:29:05,458 --> 00:29:07,666 Hope you don't mind a little blood. 749 00:29:07,750 --> 00:29:11,083 ♪ ♪ 750 00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:14,041 Let's go! Move your ass! 751 00:29:14,091 --> 00:29:18,641 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 54027

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