All language subtitles for Road.Head.2020.1080p.WEBRip

with me

with me

with me

a trip into the sky with me

driving on the west side

say ah

- Hey, babe.

Why don't you let me pick the
next song?

- I'm riding shotgun.

I play DJ.

You wanted to pick the songs,

you should have let me drive.

- Yeah, well, you don't
know where we're going.

- Well, without that
GPS neither would you.

- You're gonna love it.

me

with me

- Have much longer do have?

I just got an idea.

- What sort of idea?

- Hm.

This sort of idea?

- Yeah.

Yeah, that's good idea.

- But do we have time?

- We'll make time?

- Are your eyes closed?

- What? No.

- Are you lying to me?

- Look, they're wide open, okay.

Please, don't stop, come on.

Oh my God.

Oh, your mouth is like a
leaf blower in reverse.

- A leaf blower in reverse?

- Yeah.

It's like, sucks in
instead of blowing out.

- Wow.

- Look, I couldn't think
straight.

Okay, you know what I meant.

- I do and I'm not particularly
fond

of being compared to lawn
equipment.

- Come on, you know what I
meant.

- Just keep driving.

- You can't leave me like this.

- You're not even at 50%.

I think you'll be fine.

- Please.

- Now you're acting like a baby.

And I don't blow babies.

- All right.

Well, what about real hard
motherfuckers.

- Hm, well maybe, if you
work real hard, motherfucker.

- Look, all I need is time.

All right?

So why don't you come over here?

And you could-

Oh shit!

- What the fuck?

Who the fuck is that?

Hey man, can I
help you with something?

- I don't like this.
- Hey buddy,

I'm talking to you.

- Please, look,

we were going to a party-

- Oh my God.
- Off the road little bit.

- Tyler, Tyler!
- It's not my fault-

Please, please,
please.

- Her mouth was on my penis.
- Tyler!

- Okay.
- Tyler!

Dude, let go of me.

I didn't do anything.
- Please stop.

Oh my goodness!

- How about now?
- Nope.

How about now?

No honey, we
got like 30 minuets.

I think we're close.

me

dessert

- Mm.

- Nice.
- Oh boy,

I could use some of that.

- Hey, my GPS is done.

Stephanie, you got anything?

- I got cell service but no GPS.

- Okay, well, Alex.

I need to know where to turn.

So I guess that's your cue.

- Is that a paper map?

What are you, a Spanish
colonialists?

You gonna rape and pillage my
people next?

- No.

Safer lines are just a trait

that our generation sorely lacks

and it should be practice.

- Ew, just because you use a
paper map

doesn't mean you're smarter than
us

but by all means,

bring measles to the new world.

- Hey, leave Alex alone.

If he wants to live
like it's 1492, let him.

- I assume you're referring to
1992,

I mean I'll have you guys know

that maps were in heavy
circulation rarely

by the early 2000s.

I mean, you make it sound like
I'm longing

for the meaning of the Demian
Pina Colada.

What?

Tell me you wouldn't love that
though?

Just you on a boat with a map.

Tell me you wouldn't love that.

- So here's the thing.

Here's why you're actually
wrong,

because when you use a paper map

you miss out on the raw
sensuality

of having a British man.

- Oh!

- No, I don't need any
raw sensuality, thank you.

I like the autonomy of a map,

and I don't use the GPS

because I don't like
being told what to do.

- God.
- You know what that is?

- No.

- It's my bullshit detector.

- Oh, okay.

- Yeah.

'Cause that's bullshit.
- It's true.

- Do you know why you don't like
being

told what to do?

- Alex, it's okay.

That's like the cool thing about
you

that you don't know how to use a
phone.

- Okay, all right, fine.

I couldn't figure out how to
change the voice on my map

to a British man.

The lady, the man, the British
man.

So you use a paper
map

because you can't figure
out how to use your phone.

- No, I know how to use a phone.

- Wow.
- I just I couldn't figure out

how to do the GPS thing.

And I also didn't want to

and I'm glad that I didn't.

And I enjoy maps, okay,

cartography is kind of my thing.

- Hey.
- It's sexy.

- Hey.

Hey, Stephanie.

Smoke your blunt.

Alex.

I need your map skills.

Okay, tell me where I'm going.

I literally have no idea.

- Alright, so within a
logical margin of error

to our exact location

if my measurement in inches is
correct.

- How many inches do you
measure,

Alex, like on a good day

and your best day.

Bryan?

- Like six and a half.

- Bryan.

- Seven.

- Thank you.

- Wow.

- Within a logical margin of
error

to our exact location,

we should be turning left in 4
1/2 miles.

- In 4.5 miles, turn left.

- That is good, who was that?

- John, John Linnet.

It's four

It's 4.5 miles, turn left.

Oh my God.

In 4.5 miles, turn
left.

- They make some British man.

- Now you're being sexist.

I always knew you hated women.

I don't hate women.

- Who are you trying to
convince me or your self?

-
probably make an exception.

- What is it exactly about us,

our voices, our faces. our
uteri,

our ovaries, our vaginas.

- I think it's all pretty
unattractive.

- Wait, are you being serious?

Are you trying to tell me

that you actually
wouldn't want to fuck me?

- No.

No.

- You don't want to fuck me?

Just because you're gay,
you couldn't fuck a woman.

That's so lame.

- Well that's what it means.

- You're so in the box.
- I'm not in the box

and I don't want your box.

- Well that's a first.

- Not everyone wants to fuck
you.

- Who else doesn't want to fuck
me?

I don't want to fuck
you.

Bryan doesn't wanna fuck you.

- Besides this lame.
- Hey.

Bryan doesn't wanna
fuck you.

- Guys.

Stop.
- But Bryan already did.

I've been
doing some research on lakes

in my spare time,

fun fact, there's usually water
in them.

- Please tell me we're
not there yet, Bryan?

This is just a part of the road.

Right?

The lake is right around the
corner or something, Bryan?

- No, this is it.

This is Isola Lake.

Or what's left of it, I guess.

- I knew we should have looked
this shit up on the internet.

You know they have pictures

of the whole planet on
there, right, Bryan?

Satellite pictures.

- Yeah, you didn't know
about this, did you?

- That the lake wasn't a lake?

No, I did not know about it.

Not exactly.

- Not exactly.

- Specificity please, honey.

- My mom sent me an article
about how

climate change was causing some
droughts

and that Isola Lake might
be dried up in a decade,

but I thought a decade was like
10 years.

- I swear to god if this is some
kind

of lesson on global warming.

Point taken, and I hate you.

- Lay off, Stephanie, he didn't
know.

- I just wanted us to have a
good time.

- We will.

We don't need water to have a
good time.

Right, Stephanie?

Right, Stephanie?

- Oh.

Yeah, I'm ready to go home.

So I'm gonna go sit in the van

and wait till it takes me there.

- No.

Hey, I'm sorry.

Okay.

I should have looked it up.
- No.

Hey, we can still have fun.

We still have weed.

We still have the van.

We still have each other.

I mean, the only thing
that's missing is the lake.

- Oh, was there a lake?

God, I must have missed it,

in the middle of all this
fucking desert.

Can you stop pretending

like you care about the water

'cause you live in Santa Monica.

- And?

- If you wanted water,

you would have stayed home

but you practically beg
to come on this trip.

- I'm tired of saltwater and
I wanted to cock block you.

You don't know my life.

- Hm.

We all know why you're here.

You're trying to forget about
David.

- I'm about to try and forget
about you.

- Am I wrong?

- No, you're not fucking wrong.

You're right.

But if you keep bringing him up,

I can't forget about him.

Can I?
- Okay, okay.

Can we stop?

Please.

Please.

Please.

Okay.

If you want to go home,

I can get us back in like six
hours.

- Hm.

Probably more like a eight,

cause' we'll be hitting
traffic on the way back.

- Alex, I love you, but not
right now.

- I love you too.

And sorry.

I'll shut up, okay, back to you.

- What do you want to do, Steph?

- We're already here.

I'm tired of being cooped up
anyway.

- Yes!

That's my bad bitch.

Ah.

Ha!
- What are you doing?

- She likes when I do this
dance.

- Honey, where did you pick that
up?

I don't like when you dance like
that.

- You will.
- Baby, no, please.

No.

- Don't you like this dance?

- I like the dance.
- You do!

You like the dance!

- Yeah, I like the dance.

- I like you.

- Plus, somebody's gotta
smoke all the weed.

- Yes, and this is a very good

learning opportunity for all of
us.

Because I've always wondered

what it looked like at
the bottom of the lake.

- Get me a cement block and I'll
show you.

- No, you can't actually
kill him, you know.

I can't?

- No.
- You sure?

- Actually feel like I'm gonna
get like

some really good shots out here

'cause this terrain is sick.

- Your 17 followers will be
psyched.

- 734 actually, you'd know
that if you followed me.

- I do follow you.

You follow my
personal page.

- Oh, okay, so I'm not a good
friend

unless I follow your
photography account too.

- No, you're a good friend.

You're just a shitty fan.

- Well, I tapped out when you
put a filter

on a bowl of cereal and
captioned it food-spiration.

- Yeah, I was being ironic.

- I don't think that landed,
buddy.

- Okay.
- Post a decent photo

and I'll follow you.

- I love your photography.

- Thank you, Alex.
- Love?

That's a big word.

You shouldn't throw that
around all willy-nilly.

- If I didn't mean it, I
wouldn't say it.

- It's true.
- Yeah, okay.

I'm gonna go see how high I can
get,

you guys chase the good
lighting.

- Are you gonna be okay?

- Oh, don't fucking ask me that.

- Don't kill yourself.

Alex, wait up.

Oh, you're coming with
me?

Hey, don't be like
that.

I'm sorry.

It was supposed to just
be us.

- I know, but you saw what a
mess she was.

She just needs a friend.

- She doesn't have any other
friends?

- I said I'm sorry.

- She's just been up my
ass this entire time,

and not in a good way.

I'm trying to be on her team

about this whole getting cheated
on thing,

but it's all starting to make
sense.

I understand.

And I'm sorry.

Okay?

I thought it was okay.

What can I do to fix it?

- This is helping.

You make it really hard
to stay mad at you.

You know that?
- I do know that.

- Yeah?

- I promise that we will
do this again very soon.

Just you and me.

Okay.

But she needs this.

Did I tell you that David's
like camping outside

of her apartment lifting
weights,

so she can, she sees him every
day?

- Yeah, I know, I heard
you guys talking about it.

- I thought you were sleeping.

- I was until she saw that
picture of him and Cassie.

- Oh, God.

- But, I get it.

I mean, as much as it sucks,

the fact that you are
willing to be this nice

to a friend, it's very sweet.

Thank you.

And thanks for sticking up for
me too.

But you don't have to say
that you like my pictures.

- I do like your pictures.

- Do you?

- No.

And it is not your fault
that the lake got dried up.

- I know it's not my fault.

It's the corporations and the
meat eaters!

- Yeah.

You are always on your IRS
about these meat eaters.

- Well.

- Well.

You know I've never heard you
complain

about my meat eating.

- Oh, please don't compare my
penis

to a dead animal part.

- Like you know, just big
tenderloin raw,

covered, uncut circumcised
between your legs.

Between my legs.

And my butt hole.

Yeah, baby!

- Hello?

If you're a bobcat, I will fuck
you up.

There is nothing there, Steph.

You're acting like a crazy
person.

God damn it.

- I thought you were gonna have

this super amazing time without
me.

That's not what this looks like.

- I left you behind for a
reason, asshole.

Why do you gotta show up and
ruin it?

- You brought me here.

- And I'm leaving you here.

- Typical, avoiding
confrontation.

- No, I'm avoiding you.

- But you can't stop thinking
about me.

Can you?

I mean, I get it.

- Oh Bryan, there's a
beautiful patch of dirt.

It's just remarkable.

- Okay.

You know I'm not just taking
pictures

of random patches of dirt,

I'm choosing them specifically.

This is art.

- I know.

Sorry.

Tell me about what you're doing?

- Okay, do you see this crack
here,

how it splits and then goes

into three different directions?

Yeah.

- And then see how they all meet
back up,

right over there.

- Yeah.

- It's just this like
feeling of uncertainty.

And how pointless it is.

- You know that you could choose

any path to get where it's
going,

but it always ends up in the
same space.

Which path is the correct one?

I don't know, it's just

we agonize over these decisions

and just go different trails
trying

to figure out which way to go,

not knowing that we're always
gonna end up

in the same space.

Really, choice doesn't matter.

There's no correct path.

Everything ends.

- And it looks like a butt.

- That's what I was trying to
say,

it looks like a butt.

- With a crack.

- Now you're getting it.
- Yeah, butt crack.

Here, will
you take a picture of me

for my personal account.
- Oh, yeah babe.

Just like right over
here.

Nice.

- I want to find lighting over
here.

- Is this your fantasy version
of me?

You can't even see the muscles.

Need some help?
- Not from you.

- What are you looking for?

- Something to make you
disappear.

10 minutes and I'll be back on
vacation.

- Do you ever truly feel
like you're not alone?

- How can I be alone
when I'm with my friends?

- That's a good question.

Mine's better.

- This conversation is over!

Okay?

This cannot go on.

When I get back to LA I better
find out

that you stayed here and you
fucking dieD.

God!

I was really hoping there'd be

someone I could fuck out here.

- I wish we had like a
tumbleweed that rolled by.

- Yeah, nice, honey.
- You know.

What should I do?

- Are you flexing?

- I can.

Climate changes is real!

- Honey, how do I know if
the camera was working?

Does it click or anything?

- Do you see me?
- In the thing? No.

- Steph just texted,

"Got high, taking a nap."

She usually sleeps for a few
hours when she gets high.

- Can we get that high?

- You can get as high as you
want.

I gotta drive.

- Does that mean we're leaving?

- I mean, wouldn't you rather
drive home while she's asleep?

Wait!

Wait.

Fucking shoes.

- And it really wasn't that bad.

- You don't think so?

I mean, that being
said,

I'm doing the next one.

And I'm not inviting Stephanie.

And I'm getting a free blowjob.

Okay, you can
have that whenever you want.

Look at my muscles.

You're getting tan.

Am I now?

- I love that.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

missing part

breathe

- We should end this trip on a
high note.

- You're already a high note.

- I'm horny.

I want to eat all your dead
animal parts.

- Stephanie's right there.

- I bet I can do it without
waking her up.

- I don't know if I can do it,

without driving off the road.
- Into what?

Drive off the road, for all I
care.

I feel very safe.

- You're crazy.

- Take off your pants.

- I can't believe we're going
this.

- You're not doing anything,
babe.

You were just driving through
the desert.

And I'm gonna taking care of the
rest.

- You always get so horny when
you smoke.

Oh!

Ah, that's good, that's good.

That's good.

Oh.

Fuck!

Ouch.

- Why did you slam on the
brakes?

- Why did you bite my dick?

- Well, I'm awake.

- Because it was in my mouth
when you slammed on the brakes.

- Fuck!
- Are you okay?

- Oh fuck, you bit my fucking
dick, Alex.

- Did he bite it off?

- What?

- Is it still attached?

- Yes, but it's like bleeding,

he broke skin.

- Then you're fucking fine,

my dick bleeds once a month.

- Ew!

- Why did we stop?

- Look.

- What the fuck?

Those are human heads.

- Duh.

- I've never seen human heads.

We see
human heads every day.

- Yeah, on bodies.

Oh.
- Okay, we need to get you

to a hospital.

Is there one nearby?
- I don't know.

Alex, why don't you check the
map?

- He don't need a fucking
hospital.

- Yes, he does.
- So do they.

- No, no, they don't.

No one present needs a hospital.

- My dick got bit!

- So what?

I've had plenty of boyfriends

who like when I use a little
teeth.

Your dick is fine,

just like their dicks are fine.

- Didn't Travis' dick fall off?

- That was the nurses fault.
- Okay.

Are we gonna ignore the
human heads on the road?

- There's not much we can
do for them at this point.

Well, someone
should say something.

- Rest ye in peace,

oh souls of these heads.

- This seems disrespectful.

- If thy had but thy bodies,

perhaps we would grab
a beer with the thusly.

- Amen.

- These weren't here when we
drove in.

- Are you sure?

- Yes, Alex.

I'm sure I would have seen them.

Someone put these here.

- Then they're still nearby?

- I'm calling the police.

- Good idea.
- Hi.

We are at Isola Lake

and we just found two severed
human heads.

- Why did you bite my dick?

- I didn't mean to bite you
dick.

- I know you didn't mean to bite
my dick

but even still,

you bit my dick.
- I was trying to be fun.

It's not fun, Alex, it's
bleeding.

- Oh, hold on a sec.

Where exactly are we?

- I don't know, the middle of a
lake?

- I'll go get my map.

- Alex, wait!

Stay close.

- Okay, we're finding out,
we're not sure just yet.

No.

I'm aware.

Yes, I know.

Well, I don't fucking know,

why can't you just track the
call

based on my location or
something?

Not possible?

You-
- Steph, calm down.

- You were able to locate my
brother

when he was trying to do street
art

and you're gonna tell
me it's not possible.

I have two heads.

- Try a different tone.

- Okay, well,

how long will that take?

What?

Look, why don't you just tell an
officer

to come out to Lake Isola,

and just stop whenever he
sees the two human heads

in the middle of the lake?

Okay?

Okay? Great.

Thank you so much.

Bitch.

They're sending someone.

- That's great.

- No, I don't think they're
gonna

be able to find us.

We gotta get the fuck out of
here.

What the fuck.

- Hello.

Can we help you?

We come in peace.

- Are you fucking kidding me,
Alex?

- What.

Are you okay?

- Alex, don't.

- Do you need water?

'Cause we have water.

- He's probably the one
that put the heads there.

- I think it's wrong to assume
things about a stranger.

Ah, maybe that's for clearing
brush.

- You think he's gonna
behead the brush, Alex?

For someone so smart, you're
acting like a fucking idiot.

- Maybe he's deaf.

I love your outfit.

It's adorable.

Very chic.

Can you hear me?

- If he's deaf, complimenting
him

and then yelling louder
wouldn't help, would it?

- I think he wants to cut off
our heads.

- I just, he hasn't done
anything yet

and I think it's wrong to just
assume.

- Holy shit!

- Bryan!

Bryan, get up.

Bryan, he's right behind you!

Bryan!

No.

- Wait.

- Oh my god!

Bryan is dead.

Bryan is dead!

- I know.

- What the fuck are we gonna do?

- Stay calm!

We have to figure it out.

- Figure what out?

Bryan is dead and that medieval
fair reject has our van.

- Well we'll get the van back.

We just need a plan.

- Oh my god, Stephanie, he's
coming.

Run!

- He's gonna run us over!

- Don't let him!

Split up!

What the fuck?

That doesn't make
any sense.

- Why didn't he try to kill us?

- I don't know.

But I'm gonna get that van back.

- You're gonna follow him?

- I will do whatever it takes.

I want to get home.

God damn it, get down.

Do you see that?

- I see an old camper and
I see a bunch of junk.

- Does it look like anyone lives
there?

- I can't tell.

- Give me those fucking things.

- Nice.

- Give them to me.

I don't see our van anywhere.

- It's Bryan's van.

- I'm gonna go check it out.

Maybe you could start up that
camper

and just drive us the fuck out
of here.

- What, what?

Stephanie, the killer could be
in there.

He could have a gun.

- Didn't ask you to come.

- Wait, Stephanie!

Fuck!

Fucking fuck, fuck, fuck.

Damn it!

What the fuck are
you doing?

You look like a goddamn troll.

Just, I'm staying out
of sight.

Well, I can
fucking see you, Alex.

- Doesn't look like that
thing is gonna move.

- Yeah, no shit.

But it also doesn't look
like anybody lives here.

- Right and it also didn't look
like

a cartoon murderer lived
at the lake either.

- Shut the fuck up.

I'm gonna try the door.

- Why, why?

Oh my God.

Because, Alex, then we can see
if we can find an old piece

of mail with an address on it.

To help the police find us,

or some food or water or
something.

- What if there is someone
inside

and what if it was gonna kill
us?

- It's our only chance.

Is anybody there?

Doesn't seem like anyone's home.

- I don't wanna.

But I will.

- Shit.

He lives here.

- I fucking told you he was in
here.

My God, I'm gonna choke.

- Water.

Here.

Here! It's warm but it'll help.

The fuck.

- What?

What, what the fuck?

- Sh.

- No, no, no.

- Ah!

- He's here!
- What?

- And he has his sword.

- Fuck, okay, all right.

I need a minuet to think.

I think he has,

if he's here then the van is
here.

Over that ridge, right?

Right?

Alex!

Alex, the one time I
need your logical brain

and you're fucking shutting
down, what good are you?

- Fuck you, Stephanie.

We're gonna die in here.

- Okay.

Weapons.

Weapons, weapons, weapons.

No, not now.

Really?
- No?

No what?

- Fuck!

- Is this your new place?

It's much nicer than the old
one.

Okay, you didn't seem to mind it

when you live there rent free,
asshole.

- Yeah, we put up with a lot of
bullshit

when you're in a relationship.

You need my help.

That's why I'm-

- No I absolutely do not need
your help.

- I fucking need your help,
please.

Who the fuck are you talking to?

- I need you.

I need you.

- You need me

- Shut the fuck up.

Look, we gotta get to the van.

Right? Right?

And I got a plan.

I do.

- I never appreciated how smart
you are.

- Shut up!

We don't have much time, Alex.

Alex.

Alex, I am not gonna die

because you are too chicken shit
to help.

All right, you woman up.

You got this.

Decent pep talk.

I almost bought that.

- He's getting close.

We go on my say.

- Go where on your say?

- No matter what happens,

you get back to that van.

- Fuck!

- Nice, babe.

You are so powerful.

- I don't need your validation.

- The keys aren't there!

- That's a second best
friend you've killed today.

- Stephanie! No keys!

- Then just bust out a
window and hot wire it.

- I don't know how to hot wire a
car!

- God damn it, what use are
you?!

- I don't know,

I guess I'm good company.

- Get out of my way. David.

- You know this is all your
fault, right?

You realize that?

Bryan died because our
relationship died.

You should have never left,
Stephanie.

Come home to me.

- You don't think I know
this is all my fault?

We will fucking talk about this
later.

- Stephanie, get out of there.

Fuck you and your
sword.

- Look at you.

All right.

- We're just gonna let him win?

- Stephanie!

Come on, man.

You're cut open.

- I'm fine.

Ow!

Yeah, that's right bitch.

We won.

Fucker.

- No, no, no.

We lost, I'm sorry.
- Fuck you.

- Okay, get out of here.

Okay, no, no, no.
- Stupid fucking face.

Yeah, we lost.

- When I see that motherfucker
again,

I'm gonna cut his head off

and wear it as a goddamn hat.

Fuck him.

Fuck his mother.

Fuck his whole fucking family.

- Do we have a plan?

- We have to find a checkpoint.

And then we can call the police

and then maybe they'll be able
to find us.

We have to use your phone
'cause mine is murdered.

- Mine's in the van, so.

- What the fuck did you just
say?

- I said mine was in the van

in the cup holder.

- What do you mean your phone

is in the van in the cup holder?

I don't get it.

Your phone is in the van

in the cup holder.

Why the fuck is your
phone in the van, Alex?

Who gets out of a car
without their phone, Alex?

- I'm sure a lot of people do,
Stephanie.

- No, nobody does that.

We were just fucking there.

Why didn't we get it.

- I was fighting for my life,
Stephanie.

I didn't, I don't know what to
tell you.

- You were fighting for your
life?

You were fighting for your life?

Oh, okay.

You are such a fucking idiot!

- Can you please refrain
from attacking people

who are on your side for one
second?

Bryan's last memory is
of you giving him shit

for fucking up a vacation
that you weren't even

supposed to fucking be on at
all.

He did not deserve that,

and you did not deserve him.

- Feel better?

All done?

- Can I get a factory
reset on my Stephanie

'cause this one is stuck in cunt
mode.

- That's really funny.

It be funnier if that was a real
phone.

But it's not, want to know how I
know?

'Cause your phone's in the
fucking van.

- Well, your phone is destroyed.

- My phone is destroyed?

You think that's the same thing-

- Why are you being so mean to
me?

It's not my fault
- Really, Alex?

Really?

I think I deserve a break
because my gash

is literally still bleeding.

- That explains the drive here
then.

That's so funny.

You could keep up and no one
else could.

And honestly, I've never seen
Bryan so happy with anybody.

I thought you guys were great
together.

- I really don't know what
I'm gonna do without him.

- You could still talk to him.

- You mean like you and David?

- No.

We gonna talk about
that?

- Bryan was a good person.

And he was my only friend
on the fucking planet.

I just, I guess I felt
like he was slipping away

and I shouldn't have
taken that out on you.

Happy?

- Is that an apology?

- Fuck you.

I was just keeping it 100.

- I don't even know who you are
anymore.

- Me neither.

- You didn't just say all that

to avoid talking about David,
did you?

- What?

I would never do that.

- You just did.

Just so you know, you never
would have lost Bryan.

You couldn't have 'cause he
felt the same way about you.

- Thanks.

Hey.

Do you think Bryan still
has his phone on him?

- No.

No, I can't see his body again.

- Then you don't have to look.

But we need his phone.

Do you see that?

- What, is he here?

- No, there.

It's the police.

- They came?

- Hey.

Hey, we're over here.

Hey!

Hey, stop!

Stop!

We're over here.

Stop, we're over here.

- Don't stop Stephanie.

- Stop.

Please stop.

Hey!

Stop!

Of course he did.

Alex.

Run.

Oh, fuck you.

- Hey!

Come back.

She is wounded, you fuck.

Come after me instead.

- Every time you're about to
die,

you think about me.

I gotta say, I'm really
flattered.

- Not the fucking time.

- Oh, it's never a good
time with you is it?

- Hey.

Come at me, bitch!

Why don't you step out of there

and fight me like a woman?

Huh?

Run, Stephanie!

- If you're gonna do it, just do
it.

- Run, Stephanie!

I'm coming!

No!

I'm coming.

Go away.

What do you want with us?

I'm coming, Stephanie, I
promise.

- Hey.

Not to sound totally ungrateful,

but why don't you kill me, huh?

Isn't that, like, your thing.

You are
not like the others.

- Holy fuck, it talks.

And it sounds like a
gurgling, cum-filled asshole.

- You're brave, strong, you have
value.

God, didn't
you hear what I said

about validation earlier?

I don't fucking need it

and it definitely doesn't work
coming from that 1998 dial up

sound effect you call a fucking
voice.

- You will be welcomed by all.

- There's more of you?

Like how many?

What do you got?

Like a family of head
loppers out here, huh?

Huh?

Father and a mother and baby or
what?

Instead of teaching the kid to
read,

you just teach them to
cut the heads off lizards?

What the fuck?

You know what? I changed my
mind.

I think you should kill me.

Matter of fact, I'll kill
myself.

- You will be convinced
and I will be rewarded.

- You don't look vaccinated,

so you'll definitely
catch some shit from me.

Your whole little clan of cos
players

will just drop dead as soon
as I walk through the door.

- I will bring you to the
leaders.

They will decide.

- If we can get there before I
die.

Huh?

Remember when you cut me?

Probably got fuckin' tetanus or
something.

That shit hole of a trailer you
live in

certainly wasn't fucking
sanitary.

- There is an out post.

I won't be there much longer.

There's a better place waiting
for me.

You will be tended to
what the leaders see fit.

- Yeah.

I don't really see that
happening.

I'll rip your fucking
head off with my feet.

I don't even need a toy
sword from a nerd convention.

How you like that, bitch!

- Let me go.

- No.

- Your feet stink.

- No.

Do not get away from me, no, no,
no.

You motherfucker.

- Why do you run away?

I am attempting to spare your
life.

- You're holding a sword.

- You are ungrateful.

- What are you gonna do about it
fucker?

Kill me?

- Drop it.

- Damn it.

You fucking asshole.

I will report on your secret
society.

Put me down!

Put me down!

You fucking asshole!

Fuck you!

- Stephanie.

Bryan.

No, no, no, no.

I'm coming for you, Stephanie.

- Don't touch me.

No!

- Don't embarrass me.

- This is your society?

These are your leaders?

A bunch of fucking douche
lords in cloaks in the desert?

You must all be men, right?

'Cause no woman would agree to
this shit.

- Dad!

Dad!

Dad, you forgot your scepter.

You forgot your scepter.

Hello, female.

- Fall in line.

What is the meaning of this?

- A gift.

Dear leaders, through your
wisdom comes safety and glory.

Safety and glory.

- Why do you defy the will
of the order, executioner?

You have abandoned your outpost.

Safety and glory-

Safety and glory.

- Are only possible so long
as everyone does his part.

Your part is guarding the
outpost

to keep us safe from intruders.

- I plan on killing her.

I thought she could
provide a valuable asset.

- That is not your decision to
make.

- That is why I brought
her to you, master.

- Yeah, you know what, you're
right.

He broke the rules.

So you should definitely kill
him

and then I'll just, you know,

get out of your hair.

- Hm.

She's feisty.

I got an idea of what to do with
her.

- Yeah, I got an idea too,
asshole,

how 'bout you eat shit and
fucking die?

- Make your case, executioner.

- We are as the lake was!

- We're gonna need a bit more
than that.

- The lake was great.

Now it is gone.

And the order is great.

It provides us safety and glory.

Safety and glory.

- Recruitment is dwindling.

We are aging.

The order will be gone.

If brought back to health,

the girl could provide us
with powerful offspring,

to strengthen our numbers and
bring us

to the next stage.

- Try me, asshole.

I will cut off all your dicks.

- It has been a long time
since I've had a mocha latte.

- If I have to sit around
long enough for one of you

limp dicks to get hard
enough to impregnate me,

I'll die of fucking boredom.

- Then we can fuck your corpse.

- We do not fuck the dead.

We're not animals.

- Although, you know I hate to
admit it,

I believe our friend from the
outpost-

- Are you talking about me?
- Has a rather good point.

- Are you talking about me?
- We haven't seen

a new recruit in quite some
time.

- I think it might be a little
dangerous,

you know, bringing another
female to the group.

Even when under our command.

- You're referring to
another woman, are you..

- Yeah, I'm referring to you.

- Ew, I'm not a girl.

Yes, you are.

You have to be.

- No, I'm not.

Felicity Fellatio Bones
is a character that I play

that happens to be female.

And like every female, she's a
hoe.

And like every male, you love
it.

Oh, shit.

You guys are both fucking the
drag queen.

- She's a woman!

Okay.
- I thought you were

a transgender.

- I am a man, honey.

- I do not care if you're a man,
Felicity.

And you haven't earned
this pussy yet, baby.

- This is needlessly confusing.

Conversations like this are why
I left LA.

- It's not that confusing.

You're just a little slow.

- So you guys are all
fucking the same dude

but you don't get to fuck
anyone.

Hey, you know these guys hate
you, right?

- Okay, all right, my point
still stands.

We would bring her in out of
kindness.

- Yeah but she's a woman,

and women always want
more, they want more power.

- Sex with other men.

- Oh, sounds like some boss ass
bitch

really did a number on you
nerds.

Carly.

Carly.

- Fuck you, Jared.

- Fuck you, dude.

Don't use my old name.

We don't talk about
the before time, Larry!

- Oh, you mean when you used to
be gay?

- Whatever, you're just
mad cause' you're gay

and I got electrocuted straight.

Right, Dad?

- Stop calling me that.

- Prove it.

- Oh, I'll prove it.

I'm gonna prove it so hard,

you're gonna be like,

oh give it to me, give it to me,
Jared.

I'm gonna give it to you.

- What the fuck does that mean?

- Safety and glory.

- Get over here.

Right here.

Look at this woman

and tell me what you think of
her.

- Sexy.

- Do you think we should take
her in?

We could make children.

We could start a town.

A city, even.

- Okay.

It's a tough question

'cause she's obviously hot,

but she's probably just a
lesbian feminist

and her kids would suck.

I say we kill her.

- Oh, oh, so you're making
decisions

without conferring with
the council, now, Jared?

- Wow.

So now you're making
decisions without conferring

with the Council, huh, Jared?

- Did you find any actual value

in just repeating that
entire sentence verbatim?

I have made my decision.

First we're gonna make sure

that cut doesn't get infected,

then we take turns fucking her

until she gives us a child.

- I'll go first.

Then you, Jared.

- Awesome.

- I did good?

- Safety and glory, brother.

- Safety, safety and glory.

- You can have one turn with
her,

and get back to your outpost.

- Oh god.

- Come down, you big baby.

They're letting you live.

- We just want strong children.

We don't even find her
attractive.

- Oh, hi, Larry.

Why don't you make yourself
useful

and go get us some water?

- It's over a mile to the well,

get it yourself.

- Did you want me to suck you
off tonight?

I said-

- Yeah, I want you to suck me
off tonight.

- So go fucking get some water.

Use the new van if you have to.

- Hey, what the fuck are
you doing with these guys?

- Baby, even lonely idiots
needs some loving too.

You try denying three
pussy-whipped boys

who will do whatever you want
with them.

I haven't gotten so much
free dick in my life

and some of them actually
kind know what they're doing.

- No, fuck that.

They murdered my best friend.

- Never said they were perfect.

- So you're like their queen?

- Bow down, bitch.

- Seems like they want
to crown a new queen now.

Why would
they want to do that?

- Because now they have a real
woman.

Someone who can actually
give them children.

How many of them do you think

are still gonna want you

when they've had a taste of me?

- Probably just Jared.

He always makes me top.

- Cut me loose.

Then you'll never have
to think about me again.

- Or I could just kill you right
now.

- They'll never forgive you.

If you let me go, they'll
think that I escaped.

- Girl, you are fucked up.

I like that about you.

- Leave us.

- She's not done yet,

'cause I-
- I won't be long.

- He's not lying about that.

- I said leave us.

- Okay.
- Felicity.

- Don't grab, girl.
- Felicity!

Right now, don't
worry.

Bye, girl, sorry!

- It's been a long, long time

since I've tasted actual pussy.

Let's find out if it's
as good as I remember.

- It's not, it's really not.

My boyfriend cheated on me.

I got the clap.

You'll get the-

- Stop talking!

I don't believe you!

If you kick me,

you will suffer more pain
than you could imagine.

- Wait.

Let me at least get you hard
first.

- Have you had a change of
heart?

- It'll go faster, if you're
hard.

Wow, what a great cock.

I'm really gonna enjoy this.

- Girl, run!

Before somebody finds you

and I gotta kill you myself.

Go. Fuck out of here.

Asshole.

Fuck you, bitches.

- Hey!

It's me, it's me, it's me.

You're okay.

You're okay.

Yeah.
- Alex?

- I thought you were dead.

- I thought he went back and
killed you.

- I'm so glad you're alive.

- Me too.

- What did he do?

Is he around here?

- He's...

He's knocked out.

The the drag queen

hit him with a rolling pin.

- Are you hallucinating again?

What the fuck is wrong with
straight men?

- They are not straight.

- We gotta get out of here.

- I need a minute.

I think we have at least a
minute.

Maybe we can take some
of those fuckers out

when they show up with the
cavalry.

- What?

You didn't tell me that they had
horses.

- They don't.

Where are you getting that?

- Calvary, it's a French
military term for equest-

- I thought cavalry was like
backup.

- Well, yes and no on that.

- Oh shit.

I can't believe this is the last
thing

you're ever gonna teach me.

- Don't say that.

Because rhino horns are made
from hair.

- Can I ask you a question?

But you have to be honest.

Did you really like Bryan's
photography?

- I liked how much he
liked this photography.

I thought maybe

he would get better at it,

but he really just got better

at the whole bullshitting thing.

- You remember the moles,

he always tried to cover
them up with the airbrush.

He used to get so pissed

when I'd give him shit for that.

He took it so seriously, you
know?

- I know.

None of this feels real.

- Those fucks are very, very
real.

- Steph, we gotta get that van.

Let's go.

- No!

- Steph, what do you mean no?

- Let's just sit here.

What's the fucking point?

You know?

Every boss I'll have, every
boyfriend,

every manager, every fucking
president,

I'm gonna see one of
those cape-wearing fucks

who killed my best friend,

and would rather hold me hostage

as a fucking baby factory
than let me just live.

Live my life.

How are we gonna go back

to having a normal life after
this?

Even if I do take enough Xanax

to feel fucking normal once
in a while, I'll hate myself.

The life I had is over.

- Your shitty boyfriend cheated
on you

and then worked out
outside of your apartment

just to piss you off.

You got your chest cut open.

You put a nasty desert dude's
dick inside your mouth.

So you can't forget.

You don't forget.

- Yeah.

, fuck.

It's worse than I remembered.

Okay.

- Sorry.

Just wait with me.

- Do you have any more weed?

- I love that you still have
hope.

- Love is a big word.

You can't just go throwing
that around willy nilly.

- Holly shit, they're here.

- Hide.

- Stephanie?
- Just don't fucking move.

Okay, stay there.

- What are you doing?

- I said don't fucking move

or I'll kill you myself.

- Ready to talk?

- Jesus.

Fuck!

You know what? Yeah, I am.

- Good.

I'll go first-

- I'm not mad at you anymore.

Not personally.

I just hate what you represent.

- You're saying I'm just
like everybody else.

I think you better-
- I forgive you.

Okay?

I give you permission to leave
my life.

I said boy, bye.

Oh, hey.

Want to fight?

Hey, I didn't get your name.

- We would have given
you a life of luxury.

All you had to do was provide
children,

and the order would have
showered you with gifts.

- But fuck the order.

- Oh, shit.

Sorry, honey.

You killed my boyfriend.

You killed our mutual friend.

I don't care how many
of the fucks you are.

I'm gonna take you out.

- You don't stand a
chance against the order.

Why do you fight when you could
join us?

- I would rather die than
join you rapist fucks.

- Your loyalty is misguided.

- You wanna kiss me?

- Come back here, pussy.

- You're the pussy!

You sick fucks.

- You will be even easier
to kill than the girl.

- Her name was Stephanie!

You are loving this, aren't you?

Is this the only head you're
gonna get?

What, are you one of those skull
fuckers.

- And what if I fuck the
skull of your boyfriend

after it was removed from his
body?

Would that be objectionable to
you?

- Yes, it is.

Should I kill you now?

Yeah, yeah, I think I should.

Heard you like skull fucking,
huh?

Don't like it too much now, huh?

Oh, yeah.

It's hot.

I'm so sorry, Stephanie.

I'm so sorry, Bryan.

I'm going home.

You sure you
don't want me to drive?

- I don't know where I'm going,
so.

That's your cue.

- Well, I don't know how to work
a map.

I could just use my phone.

- I love you.

- Well I'm kind of easy to love.

- You make blood look really
good.

You're gonna be okay.

- Fuck.

Fuck, I fucking murdered
someone!

Are you fucking kidding me?

If I die, we both die, bitch!

we have moved too slow

we have moved too slow