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1
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:24,781
‐ And, of course, the thing my husband
Melter was best at melting:
2
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,485
the hearts of everyone who‐‐
3
00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:27,435
Excuse me.
4
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:28,534
‐ Oh.
One second. Move!
5
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,819
Hey, is this
the Melter funeral?
6
00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,662
Newly made best friend comin' through!
7
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,578
Sorry, I'm‐‐ I'm late. Crazy morning.
8
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:37,076
Had to pick up the kids.
Traffic. Oh, you know the deal.
9
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,294
Is this the section for the family?
10
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,669
Good. I want to sit in front of them.
11
00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:43,416
Next time save me a seat,
you chodes!
12
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:44,878
It's okay, they're my friends!
13
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:47,918
‐ As I was saying,
14
00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:49,883
The Melter was so loving and‐‐
15
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:50,883
Oh, God.
16
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,644
‐ Sorry! My brain's part computer.
17
00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:54,426
That happens
whenever I get a Venmo.
18
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:58,599
I am not looking at your dead husband
and thinking, "Jackpot!" Continue.
19
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,310
‐ Umm. A loving and thoughtful person‐‐
20
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:05,572
‐ Jackpot! Sorry, I just sold
a sofa on Craigslist.
21
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,146
This is huge for me. Please continue.
22
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:11,661
Melissa, stop looking at your phone.
You're embarrassing me!
23
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,365
‐ Why couldn't you just
take us straight to school?
24
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,735
‐ I'm havin' a great time, Dad.
25
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,332
I can't wait for your funeral.
26
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,787
‐ There's a good attitude.
27
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,207
My husband had big dreams,
28
00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:22,285
and though they never came true,
29
00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:24,421
he never defeated his arch‐nemesis,
30
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,248
he never melted the Eiffel Tower,
31
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,343
he thought it was garish.
32
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:30,047
His legacy does live on
in his family‐‐
33
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:35,184
‐ I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't realize
you and The Melter were so close.
34
00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:37,509
‐ I'm crying because
what if I die?
35
00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:41,064
‐ Is this literally the first time
you've contemplated your own mortality?
36
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,559
‐ Yes! And I don't like it!
You know what?
37
00:01:43,562 --> 00:01:45,982
I do have something to add!
‐ Does anybody know who this guy is?
38
00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:49,741
‐ Cry not! The Melter's death has
reminded me that my time too is limited.
39
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:52,395
And if I am to avoid a legacy
as feeble as his,
40
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:55,784
I can't be distracted by corporate mergers
or my crumbling marriage.
41
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,952
The Melter will have a legacy!
42
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,661
As the hapless goon who inspired me,
43
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:03,042
MODOK, to get back
to what matters most!
44
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:06,340
Taking over the world!
I feel so alive!
45
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,755
‐ Papa do preach!
46
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:12,756
‐ Now let us bury one of our own
47
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,428
in the tradition of the villains of old.
48
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:15,926
I'm sorry, what's happening?
49
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:28,229
‐ If you need anything,
anything at all...
50
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,034
go to Walmart.
51
00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:31,935
They've got everything.
The store is incredible.
52
00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:33,034
Whoa!
53
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:34,818
Walmart just paid me for saying that!
54
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,701
That's insane!
55
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:43,999
This Jodify Method
56
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,417
for Life Straightening Contentment
is incredible!
57
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,086
I've already organized
my Chapsticks,
58
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:51,045
and I'm storing my socks
in the vegetable crisper.
59
00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:52,916
Oh, you've reached level seven!
60
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:54,933
This is your wife, right? The Jodie?
61
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:57,585
‐ What? No. Yes. I don't know!
Get out of my way!
62
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,644
I just buried my best friend,
and I need to harness
63
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:01,558
all the good energy I'm feeling.
64
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:05,975
Monica! I just came from
the most rejuvenating funeral!
65
00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:08,808
‐ Aw, who died? Was it
your last shred of dignity?
66
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:12,364
‐ No! And not even your weird,
over‐shaped eyebrows can ruin my mood.
67
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,899
For today is the day
I get back to my roots.
68
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,863
Today is the day I kill Iron Man.
69
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:20,374
I've confirmed that Tony Stark is working
from Stark Tower all day.
70
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:23,117
That gives me an eight‐hour window
to get that old Black Hole Gun
71
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,870
out of the Armory and blast
the entire tower into nothingness.
72
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:30,794
‐ Ugh! As much as I'd love to dedicate
my day to ruining that plan,
73
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:34,014
I'm busy with
my cybernetic manatee research.
74
00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:38,336
I need to finish today before all my work
"dies in manatee agony," so to speak.
75
00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:41,307
‐ Hey, Austin!
76
00:03:41,305 --> 00:03:44,345
I'm going to check the Black Hole Gun
out of the Armory to kill Iron Man.
77
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,019
‐ That's rad stuff, man.
78
00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:48,898
The Armory is part
of the Operations Department now, so‐‐
79
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:51,016
‐ Ah, whatever! It's gun time!
80
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:53,483
‐ ‘Scuse me. Just gonna move past
your body here.
81
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,403
‐ First I want to let you know
the great news.
82
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,532
We're deeply troubled
by your lab expenses!
83
00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:58,819
‐ How is that "great news"?
84
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:02,032
‐ Huge electricity consumption,
plasma of the month club,
85
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:05,334
and a ton spent on
a manatee corpse removal service?
86
00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:07,919
‐ I'll be honest. They don't fight
very hard to live.
87
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:10,165
‐ We're gonna need
a super‐fun exhaustive report
88
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,037
of what you've been spending
19 hours a day,
89
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,714
seven days a week,
developing in there.
90
00:04:13,712 --> 00:04:16,512
‐ That's gonna be
a big ol' "hell no" for me!
91
00:04:16,507 --> 00:04:19,297
Check the A. I. M. org chart.
I don't report to anyone.
92
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:22,471
‐ Uh, more great news!
The org chart has changed!
93
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:25,811
As our MODOK is about to learn.
94
00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:27,893
‐ Jodification Step 17:
95
00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:30,153
You're going to need
way more bird feeders.
96
00:04:30,145 --> 00:04:33,015
‐ Wha‐‐ She never let me have
any bird feeders.
97
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:36,943
Dave. MODOK, your god‐king, demands
one Black Hole Gun right now.
98
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,784
Ooh, I'd love to,
99
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,779
but first you need to get approval
from Doris in Operations.
100
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,662
She basically runs this place!
101
00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:46,118
‐ Doris?
I wish!
102
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,539
I'm just Daphne, Doris' assistant.
103
00:04:48,539 --> 00:04:51,669
‐ The guy in the other place said
I need her to let me get the thing.
104
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:54,627
That's true, Mr. MODOK,
but Doris won't approve anything
105
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,378
until you run it by Douglas in Legal.
106
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:58,550
My hands are tied
until your budget gets rubber‐stamped
107
00:04:58,549 --> 00:04:59,799
by Darrel in Accounting.
108
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,510
Accounting can't even look
at your proposal
109
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:03,430
until you pitch it
to the Senior Operations team:
110
00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:05,308
Doris, Donald, Dillman,
Louise with a silent D,
111
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,715
and D‐Louise with a big ol' loud D.
112
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:07,983
‐ I have to do a pitch?
113
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,515
‐ And according to this memo
I just received,
114
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,269
your big pitch is in five minutes!
115
00:05:12,271 --> 00:05:13,311
‐ Oh, my God!
116
00:05:19,945 --> 00:05:21,445
Is he just going to stand there or‐‐
117
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:23,776
‐ Every one of us
is born missing something.
118
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:25,738
Something important.
119
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,792
We couldn't begin to describe
its shape or its weight.
120
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:31,116
But the hole it left behind
is always there with us.
121
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,340
It's a hole so deep it cannot be filled.
122
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,915
Work, liquor, religion.
123
00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:40,011
Love.
124
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,931
The hole swallows them all.
125
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:45,641
It's a black hole.
126
00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:49,597
A supermassive collapse
in the fabric of our souls.
127
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,480
There is nothing more powerful.
128
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,852
So why not use it?
129
00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:58,527
Ladies and gentlemen, let us put
that black hole into a gun
130
00:05:58,525 --> 00:06:00,735
and have it torment
someone else for a change.
131
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:03,356
In closing, I am going to blast
that wet bitch Tony Stark
132
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,283
into a black hole.
133
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,235
Black Hole Gun, won't you come?
134
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:08,242
Won't you come?
135
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:12,408
I have to go. I'm cheating on my wife.
136
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,424
Impressive work, MODOK.
137
00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:16,246
I'll be happy to approve your request,
138
00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,461
just as soon as it gets sign‐off
139
00:06:17,461 --> 00:06:19,511
from Grumbl West, Grumbl North,
Grumbl restaurant division,
140
00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:20,875
and Growl‐mbl, the Grumbl for dogs.
141
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,011
It should take about three months.
142
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,877
‐ This isn't fair!
143
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:26,304
I wanna kill Iron Man now!
144
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:27,853
Ugh! God, that burns.
145
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,346
I wanted lemonade.
146
00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:33,892
‐ Huh?
‐ Oh, sorry about the force field.
147
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,654
I use it to keep out pests.
148
00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:36,606
And total shitheads.
149
00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:39,265
‐ Dope! Just came to give you
some more great news.
150
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:42,194
I had the rockstars in HR check your file.
151
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:46,624
Turns out in your 10 years here,
you've used none of your vacation days.
152
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:49,825
No rockstar's ever done that before,
you rockstar!
153
00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,696
‐ And?
‐ And starting tomorrow,
154
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:55,924
you have to use every single one
of your vacation days.
155
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:59,796
Three whole months of fun in the sun.
156
00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:01,125
All right, passengers,
157
00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:03,669
time for everyone
to fun‐gregate for lobsterritas
158
00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:05,554
and some reggae‐themed improv.
159
00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:07,181
‐ Please, no.
160
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,967
‐ Oh, sorry, Monica,
this comes straight from Doris.
161
00:07:09,972 --> 00:07:11,972
Ah, this is the worst!
162
00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:15,774
‐ I guess if I skip lunch
and don't sedate the manatees,
163
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,729
I should be able to get most
of their skeletons out by end of day.
164
00:07:18,730 --> 00:07:20,190
‐ B‐b‐b‐bonus news!
165
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:21,570
You don't get to do any of that
166
00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:23,437
because all upper‐level employees
167
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:27,163
have a mandatory five‐hour workplace
emotional safety seminar.
168
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:30,575
And if you have a problem with that,
you can eat my ass...
169
00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:34,786
is the kind of thing they'll teach you
not to say at the seminar.
170
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,208
Byeeeeeee!
171
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,456
Hey, MODOK‐‐
‐ Blow it out your web portal, dick.
172
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,548
‐ That'll be great for the seminar!
Which you now have to go to.
173
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,143
‐ So what's your problem?
174
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,255
‐ I got no gun, I got no legacy.
175
00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:52,102
Before you know it,
I'll be a rotting corpse in the woods
176
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,137
that a bunch of kids find,
177
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,890
propelling them into adulthood
and cementing their friendship forever.
178
00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:58,233
‐ They're making me take a vacation.
179
00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:01,188
‐ Good God. I would never
make an employee do that.
180
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:02,150
Or let them.
181
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:04,069
Seriously, remember how
it used to be around here?
182
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,487
Messy. Disorganized.
183
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,145
Hilarious worker deaths.
184
00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:08,824
Science for science's sake.
185
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:19,330
‐ You can do this, Monica.
You're gonna get the job.
186
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,383
You're gonna get to work with your hero.
187
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,627
What a song!
188
00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:26,169
We'll be right back
with more of our all‐'80s Friday
189
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:29,473
in this, the year 2009.
190
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:33,262
‐ Oh, what an interesting question!
191
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,893
I guess if I needed
to take out a superhero,
192
00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:39,311
I'd fold dark matter ions and channel them
through a microscopic prism
193
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,901
to create a beam capable of destroying
194
00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:42,726
even the most powerful threat
they could throw at us.
195
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,321
‐ Great answer!
196
00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:46,186
You're like the character House
from the show House,
197
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:49,533
which is very popular
in this, the year of our Lord 2009.
198
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:53,200
Anyway, let me be the first to say
welcome aboard, Science Drone HB86‐‐
199
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,490
‐ I just want
to say that I'm a big fan. Ha!
200
00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:58,414
‐ Wow, you said that really fast.
201
00:08:58,413 --> 00:08:59,463
Now suit up.
202
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:02,666
‘Cause we're taking on
a hella sweet secret project today.
203
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:04,208
We're gonna kill an Avenger.
204
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,839
‐ Yes! I got it! I got my dream job.
205
00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:10,221
‐ This is actually my office.
206
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,837
I'm not sure why I left. You leave.
207
00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:12,724
‐ Okay!
208
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:17,271
You're right.
This place was better before.
209
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,766
We're two of the most brilliant scientists
on the planet.
210
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,688
Huh, one of us
more brilliant than the other.
211
00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:22,597
‐ Agreed.
212
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,021
Me?
213
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:26,282
‐ We can outsmart
these corporate dillholes.
214
00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:29,895
‐ Are you saying that we should
begrudgingly work together
215
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,533
to achieve our overlapping goals?
216
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:34,410
‐ Yes. You'll get your gun
to kill a beloved superhero‐‐
217
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:36,488
‐ Thus securing my legacy...
218
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:39,373
‐ Sure. And I won't have
to take a vacation.
219
00:09:39,371 --> 00:09:40,751
Team up?
220
00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:42,712
‐ Team up.
221
00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:46,554
Whoa, Monica, your veins are popping!
222
00:09:46,545 --> 00:09:48,585
Why aren't mine doing that?
Here, give me a minute.
223
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,299
Here they come.
224
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:52,629
Come on. You're embarrassing me.
225
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:57,512
‐ All the decisions made in A.I.M.
eventually go through Doris in Operations.
226
00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:59,984
If we can get to her computer, unseen,
227
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:02,725
you can hack into it,
get immediate approval for your gun,
228
00:10:02,728 --> 00:10:04,438
and erase all my vacation days.
229
00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,978
‐ Vacation, all you ever didn't wanted.
230
00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:09,442
But how do we get out of
that mandatory workplace training?
231
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:13,993
‐ What if MODOK and Monica were there,
but we weren't?
232
00:10:13,989 --> 00:10:16,119
‐ Ah‐ha! Say no more!
233
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,076
Uh... Well, say way more.
234
00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:24,420
These are silicone‐based
humanoid body doubles.
235
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:26,836
I was going to use them
for high‐level espionage
236
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,415
but could never quite crack it.
237
00:10:28,921 --> 00:10:32,301
They can only be programmed
to remember about 100 prerecorded words,
238
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:35,049
and after about two hours,
they start to decompose.
239
00:10:35,052 --> 00:10:38,222
Still, they should be enough
to fool the morons around here.
240
00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:39,772
‐ Monica, I wasn't paying attention,
241
00:10:39,765 --> 00:10:41,305
and now there are two of you!
242
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:42,348
Are you a witch?
243
00:10:42,351 --> 00:10:45,061
‐ I've already loaded mine up
with a bunch of generic business talk.
244
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:46,062
You do the same.
245
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:49,443
I've gotta go Saran wrap
some manatee genitals before they spoil.
246
00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:51,281
‐ Or maybe this is the perfect chance
247
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:54,656
to try out some of the new catchphrases
I've been working on.
248
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:55,905
Catchphrases!
249
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,276
‐ Ooh, that one's pretty good.
250
00:10:57,908 --> 00:10:59,868
How do we address diversity
251
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:03,118
in a company
where we're all required to wear masks?
252
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:04,791
Maybe we're already diverse?
253
00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:07,630
On three,
everyone yells out what race they are.
254
00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:10,996
If that makes you uncomfortable,
just say, “Uncomfortable.”
255
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,304
Okay? One, two, three.
256
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:14,878
Lithuanian.
Uncomfortable.
257
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,354
Ah, MODOK, Monica. Thank‐‐
258
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,176
Yes, let's circle back on that later.
259
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,481
This big boy likes big, big burgers.
260
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,015
Now, that's a great share, MODOK.
261
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:28,688
Paging Doctor Horny!
262
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:32,029
‐ You really nailed it
with these friggin' jigglin' jelly guys.
263
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:35,235
‐ Thanks. Doris is going
into a teleconference now.
264
00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:37,357
It's only scheduled
to last about 30 minutes,
265
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,664
but we need to keep her in there
for at least two hours.
266
00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:42,198
‐ I actually had an idea for that.
267
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,542
Hey, everyone. This is Paul speaking,
268
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:45,958
over here with Michelle and Jada.
269
00:11:45,956 --> 00:11:47,366
Hi.
Hey, everybody.
270
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:48,504
And before we begin,
271
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:51,170
I just want to say how excited I am
about this meeting.
272
00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,750
Hi. Good afternoon, Paul.
273
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:55,014
You're on with Doris, Head of Operations.
274
00:11:55,007 --> 00:11:56,837
And with me are Jose and Dillman.
275
00:11:56,842 --> 00:11:57,842
Hi!
276
00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,853
Can they hear us?
I thought it said they were connected.
277
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:01,505
Um, we can hear you.
278
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:04,183
Can you hear us?
Hi, Doris. Hi, Jose and Dillman.
279
00:12:04,183 --> 00:12:06,103
Wonderful. So, about the fourth quarter‐‐
280
00:12:06,101 --> 00:12:08,731
This is Michelle.
Yes, we can hear you. Go ahead.
281
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:11,979
Yeah, I‐‐ Okay.
I was saying the fourth quarter‐‐
282
00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:13,232
Hi, Michelle. This is Jose.
283
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:14,233
Jose, shut up!
284
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,694
Seems like we have a delay happening here.
285
00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:17,404
Hi, Jose.
Okay, so I think we should‐‐
286
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:18,914
Doris, did you just tell me to shut up?
287
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,986
Uh, no, no. I was talking to Jose.
288
00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:22,871
Hi! Jose here!
I was supposed to shut up.
289
00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:24,408
I think there's some kind of‐‐
290
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,501
I think there's a delay.
291
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:27,745
Hi, Jose!
Sorry Doris told you to shut up!
292
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,288
I only told him that because‐‐
Shut up!
293
00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:32,751
Um, okay, I assume that "shut up"
was meant for Jada.
294
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:35,133
Anyways, I think maybe
the best thing to do is‐‐
295
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:37,220
Sorry, that “shut up”
was meant for Jada.
296
00:12:37,216 --> 00:12:38,586
Shut up, Paul! Doris is talking!
297
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:39,802
Everybody, shut up!
298
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,681
I think we should
try to reboot the server.
299
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,558
Don't tell Paul to shut up, Dillman!
You shut up.
300
00:12:44,556 --> 00:12:46,846
I heard you cheated on your wife.
301
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:48,350
I did!
I think this is‐‐
302
00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:49,442
Shut up!
Shut up!
303
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,646
Wait, who's crying?
304
00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:51,896
Hey, Doris. Hey, Paul.
305
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,647
Rodney here,
calling in from Phoenix.
306
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:55,189
I'm also really excited about‐‐
307
00:12:55,192 --> 00:12:56,902
Wait, I think there's a delay.
Who is Rodney?
308
00:12:56,902 --> 00:12:59,782
Michelle here, just saying
this is hell and I want to die.
309
00:13:03,784 --> 00:13:07,414
‐ I've done my share of torture,
but this shit is evil.
310
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,582
‐ Yeah.
311
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:12,000
Now we gotta get Doris' secretary Daphne
and the rest of her sector out of there.
312
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,590
‐ Daphne's the head
of the party planning committee.
313
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:17,546
‐ I got it! We can have Gary pretend
today is his birthday.
314
00:13:17,548 --> 00:13:20,008
Oh, well, today
is my birthday actually. See?
315
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:22,388
‐ Yes, Gary, way to sell it!
316
00:13:22,386 --> 00:13:24,636
‐ Will people really show up for him?
317
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:25,638
He's Gary.
318
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:27,519
People love me. I'm Gary!
319
00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,266
‐ It's the riskiest part of our plan,
320
00:13:29,268 --> 00:13:31,058
but we're gonna have to roll the dice.
321
00:13:31,061 --> 00:13:34,021
‐ So it's very important to give
all of your kitchen utensils
322
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,612
first and last names.
323
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,395
Mandatory birthday
in the break room!
324
00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:41,664
I didn't have time to get a cake
325
00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:45,365
so I'll be making birthday paste
out of Sweet'N Low and old creamers.
326
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,116
‐ All right, hack time.
327
00:13:51,123 --> 00:13:53,963
Her password must be
something she looks at all day,
328
00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:55,709
like "desk."
329
00:13:55,711 --> 00:13:56,841
No, that's not working.
330
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,877
Maybe "desk1."
331
00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:00,511
Nope. "desk2."
332
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,927
‐ Would you hurry up?
‐ Why? We've got plenty of time.
333
00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:04,216
So long as nothing goes wrong.
334
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:07,385
Monica? MODOK? Are you okay?
335
00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:10,353
Donkeytastic...
336
00:14:11,977 --> 00:14:14,937
All right, seems like I should
report these employee deaths to Doris.
337
00:14:14,938 --> 00:14:16,148
Come on, everyone.
338
00:14:16,148 --> 00:14:18,478
‐ Well, maybe her password is my birthday.
339
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,743
‐ Why would it be‐‐
Oh, wait, look, it's right there.
340
00:14:21,737 --> 00:14:24,067
‐ Huh, what do you know? Okay, I'm in.
341
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,702
And that's when I realized
342
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:28,659
I didn't have to inherit
my father's drinking problem.
343
00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,290
Hi, Paul, Jose here.
344
00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:31,827
That is such a breakthrough!
345
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:34,580
I don't think anyone can hear me,
but it feels good to talk.
346
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,043
All right! The hell with this!
347
00:14:36,043 --> 00:14:37,093
I'll be in my office!
348
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,415
Yeah, Dillman! Shut up! This is Rodney.
349
00:14:44,635 --> 00:14:46,505
This is such a special day.
350
00:14:46,512 --> 00:14:49,262
How did you guys know
my favorite paste flavor was gray?
351
00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:56,769
‐ It's a UNIX system. I know this.
352
00:14:56,772 --> 00:14:58,822
Doris, two employees melted‐‐
353
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,395
Save it! I walk in the halls,
354
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,610
I piss in the stalls,
355
00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:02,950
and I talk in my walls.
356
00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:04,395
Which is what I call my office.
357
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:05,664
‐ Hurry, they're here!
358
00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:13,911
We did it!
359
00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,624
Now, let's go get that gun.
360
00:15:15,624 --> 00:15:17,714
And like a whisper, we're gone.
361
00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:24,965
Hold up, Monica.
362
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,927
Before we end our uneasy alliance,
363
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:29,007
I just want to say
that I know we don't get along,
364
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,932
but just like a lot of my plans,
365
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:33,061
this one never would've worked
without you.
366
00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:35,058
Thanks for helping me secure my legacy.
367
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:37,900
Now, let's go send Tony Stark
to rich guy hell!
368
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:43,244
What?
369
00:15:43,235 --> 00:15:45,315
Two Monicas? Again?
370
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,530
Q3 Revenue...
371
00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:48,781
I'll take that.
372
00:15:48,782 --> 00:15:51,082
You know, MODOK, when Monica came to me
373
00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:55,326
and told me how you singlehandedly
hatched a plan to subvert company policy,
374
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:57,040
and steal Grumbl equipment,
375
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,880
I was like, “Nah way.”
376
00:15:58,876 --> 00:16:02,836
But now it seems
like the answer might be, tragically,
377
00:16:02,838 --> 00:16:04,128
“Yes way.”
378
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:07,891
‐ Monica, you dare betray me?
Why?
379
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:18,686
Holy crap! I wanted to kill an Avenger,
but you took down one of the main ones.
380
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:21,187
If‐‐ If this were, say, a film franchise,
381
00:16:21,190 --> 00:16:24,190
you would've just ruined it
by killing a huge character.
382
00:16:24,193 --> 00:16:26,743
I don't even need to say his or her name.
We all know it.
383
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:31,992
Yes, peons, I, MODOK, have killed
this incredibly essential Avenger!
384
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:34,202
Soak it in, my babies.
385
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,751
It's just better
for everyone at A. I. M.
386
00:16:36,747 --> 00:16:38,037
if they think MODOK did this.
387
00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:42,087
Monica, how could you?
388
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:44,125
This was all your idea!
389
00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:48,179
‐ "It's just better for everyone at A.I.M.
if they think MODOK did this."
390
00:16:48,175 --> 00:16:51,595
‐ What? Is that, like, a callback
to something I said before?
391
00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:54,175
‐ MODOK, I did this because you suck.
392
00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:55,721
And A. I. M. sucks because of you.
393
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:58,354
You're a bad scientist,
and if anyone remembers you,
394
00:16:58,352 --> 00:17:01,522
it will only be
as the piece of shit I stepped over
395
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:02,732
on my way to the top.
396
00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:05,441
‐ We're throwin' down. Like right now.
397
00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:06,442
‐ Bring it, bitch.
398
00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:08,323
We got us a mad scientist fight.
399
00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:29,009
‐ What's that little thing gonna‐‐
400
00:17:29,550 --> 00:17:30,430
Oh, my God!
401
00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:33,546
Gah! Deliver ice burst!
402
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,649
‐ You still can't use your mindblast.
403
00:17:46,650 --> 00:17:47,820
My dang shoulder!
404
00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:05,464
Why are they shrieking like that?
405
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:06,670
‐ 'Cause it's cool.
406
00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:16,179
‐ Ow, my dang shoulder again.
407
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:30,574
‐ My choice is Robobra!
408
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:34,780
‐ Comando‐tee, I call on you!
409
00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:42,369
‐ Aw, man! Unlikely animal friendship.
410
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:44,542
‐ Seems like they're not gonna...
411
00:18:44,541 --> 00:18:46,461
‐ Yeah.
‐ So should we...
412
00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:47,540
‐ Yeah.
413
00:18:59,473 --> 00:19:00,563
‐ Give up?
414
00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:02,387
‐ More like shiv up!
415
00:19:05,062 --> 00:19:07,062
Oh, God!
416
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:13,403
‐ No, no. I'm not done with you yet.
417
00:19:14,655 --> 00:19:17,155
‐ Ah! All the religions are wrong!
418
00:19:19,618 --> 00:19:20,788
‐ Are you seeing this?
419
00:19:20,786 --> 00:19:24,456
She is the key. Not him.
420
00:19:32,798 --> 00:19:34,298
‐ I've got great news!
421
00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:37,509
I'm getting better at delivering bad news.
422
00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:38,721
You're demoted.
423
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,180
As for you, Monica, I'm impressed.
424
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:43,311
Never before have I seen an employee
425
00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:46,688
with both the brawn of a bully
and the cunning of a snitch,
426
00:19:46,687 --> 00:19:50,477
which is why I'm making you
our newest scientist supreme!
427
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:55,322
Now, who wants birthday paste?
428
00:19:56,488 --> 00:19:58,158
I love the birthday paste.
429
00:19:58,156 --> 00:19:59,576
‐ No...
430
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:02,703
‐ Finally.
431
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,500
What is this?
432
00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:08,378
‐ I've got more great news.
433
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:09,325
‐ Oh, God, no.
434
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:13,134
‐ Grumbl loved those
silicone‐based humanoid body doubles.
435
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:15,800
Marketing already has
a ton of applications for these things.
436
00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:17,679
Celebrity lookalikes, servants,
437
00:20:17,676 --> 00:20:19,546
seat fillers for Marlins games.
438
00:20:19,553 --> 00:20:23,773
We just have to figure out a way
to keep people from having sex with them.
439
00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:26,345
Ooh, that could be
the first thing you work on.
440
00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:28,021
‐ But my manatee super‐soldiers are‐‐
441
00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:29,230
‐ Canceled!
442
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:32,019
Now, let's get all these
distracting weapons off your plate
443
00:20:32,024 --> 00:20:34,364
so you can spend 24/7, 365,
444
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:37,319
making soft, jiggle‐y bros for us to sell.
445
00:20:37,321 --> 00:20:39,661
Or, as Marketing calls them, Jiggalos!
446
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,696
Remember, no one can have sex with them.
447
00:20:43,035 --> 00:20:44,365
Namaste...
448
00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:55,337
‐ Hey, Iron Man,
come out and face me.
449
00:20:55,339 --> 00:20:57,299
I'm gonna kill you.
450
00:20:57,299 --> 00:20:58,339
With rocks!
451
00:20:58,342 --> 00:21:00,892
I will have a legacy.
I will not be forgotten.
452
00:21:00,886 --> 00:21:02,636
I'm not dead yet, Stark.
453
00:21:02,638 --> 00:21:04,138
I'm not dead yet.
454
00:21:04,139 --> 00:21:06,389
‐ Whoa, come on, man.
We're trying to have a work party,
455
00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:08,981
and you're out here bumming everyone out
talking about death and stuff.
456
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:13,070
Okay, MODOK, you seem like you're
in a really tough place right now.
457
00:21:13,065 --> 00:21:14,525
Have you heard of the Jodify Method?
458
00:21:14,525 --> 00:21:16,435
I think it could really turn
some things around for you.
459
00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:20,574
Also, someone told me
you called me a “wet bitch”?
460
00:21:20,572 --> 00:21:21,952
What does that even mean?
461
00:21:24,076 --> 00:21:26,326
‐ That's what it means, you wet bitch.
462
00:21:27,162 --> 00:21:29,502
‐ Oh, my God! You're an actual clown.
463
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:33,285
‐ That was for you, Melter.
464
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:35,503
We did it, buddy. We did it.
465
00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:40,344
Oh, sorry, uh... Was there
something you wanted to keep here?
466
00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:46,097
‐ “And, I suppose, A. I. M. was not
the culture fit I thought it would be.
467
00:21:46,098 --> 00:21:48,178
Please consider this
my resignation and I ‐‐”
468
00:21:48,183 --> 00:21:51,143
‐ Hey, Science Drone HB86.
Great first day.
469
00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:54,484
I'm sorry I had to take credit
for your kill in front of everyone today.
470
00:21:54,481 --> 00:21:56,321
That is such a 2009 thing to do.
471
00:21:56,316 --> 00:21:58,896
And it is 2009, so I did it.
472
00:21:58,902 --> 00:22:00,782
But that gun was badass.
473
00:22:00,779 --> 00:22:02,869
Especially the rubber grip.
474
00:22:02,865 --> 00:22:04,735
That's my favorite part. So easy to hold.
475
00:22:04,741 --> 00:22:06,201
‐ Glad you liked it.
476
00:22:06,201 --> 00:22:07,791
In fact, I had another idea.
477
00:22:07,786 --> 00:22:12,116
I think, with enough time, I could make
a gun capable of firing a mini black hole.
478
00:22:12,124 --> 00:22:13,254
‐ Make whatever you want.
479
00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:16,380
I'll fund it as long as you keep giving me
dope‐ass ways to murder people.
480
00:22:16,378 --> 00:22:19,128
No oversight.
Oh, yeah, and I grabbed this for you.
481
00:22:27,931 --> 00:22:31,691
‐ We've seized all her tech
and found a way to keep her distracted.
482
00:22:31,685 --> 00:22:34,975
Of course. My purpose is but to serve
483
00:22:34,980 --> 00:22:37,690
Hexus the Living Corporation.
38040
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