All language subtitles for DCs.Legends.of.Tomorrow.S06E04.HDTV.x264-PHOENiX

Speaking Spanish...

Gideon, what is it?

I didn't sound the alarm.

It was Mr. Rory, I believe.

Hey.

Sorry.

Oh, you're not used
to my nighttime makeup.

I mean, no makeup.

Sorry to ruin the illusion.

No, you, um...

you look just like her.

Oh. You mean the other Zari.

Yeah.

I could change my hair
if it would help.

Help what?

Whatever's happening
down there.

- It's not my fault.
- Mm.

- I was sleeping.
- Yeah.

It's natural.

Whatever you say, Steel.

- Move your butts, people.
Need you on the bridge.

- All right, all right.
Just gotta finish my last set.

Is he doing all right, Gideon?

Mr. Tarazi asked me
to formulate

an ingestible gelatinous
cannaboid compound

to help him sleep.

You make marijuana candy?

Sometimes I wonder
if they're ever

gonna let me back into Texas.

Rory, what time is it?

Technically, time doesn't
exist in the Temporal Zone.

- Yes, thank you, Gideon.
I just mean it's early.

I got a hit on the alien
that kidnapped Sara.

- What?
Why the hell didn't you wake me?

Well, remember that sketch
I drew?

The, uh, squid face?

Oh, yeah, I thought
it was chicken wings.

Well, Gideon helped me
find this photo

buried amongst
some old KGB files.

Report about
a crashed space alien.

It was redacted until Putin
was ousted from power in 2044.

"Redacted"? "Ousted"?

Where are these words
coming from, Rory?

I know words.

Look, uh, thanks
for cleaning me up.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, you even smell nice.

Gang, great news.

Rory got a lead on the alien
that took Sara.

Hmm. Shocking, honestly.

Hmm.

The pod we're looking for
was picked up

by military forces
at 0600 hours.

It's en route as we speak.

The plan,
rendezvous with it here.

Any questions?

En route. Rendezvous.

Est-ce que tu parles fran�ais,
Rory?

What?

Hey, this is great, Mick,

but shouldn't Gideon
do the coordinates?

Already set, numb nuts.

Wait, shouldn't we
stop by John's,

pick up him and Astra?

Let's move.

It's a two-click hike
through thick jungle.

Right, I love the intensity,
Rory,

but just a little heads-up
would be nice.

Okay, hold up, I thought
this was a time machine.

Why not bring us back
an hour earlier?

That way, y'all can change
out of your pj's.

Oh, girl, we don't ask
those questions.

Damn it. We forgot Behrad.

Spooner, what did I tell you
about the Legends' buddy system?

That hippie burnout wouldn't
want no part of this action.

Okay, Rory, what's the plan?

Cover me.

- With what?
I'm wearing slippers.

Commie son of a bitch
tried to shoot me!

Think it was a bad idea
letting Rory run point?

Eh, we've had
messier missions.

Let's go.

I'm in! Let's go!

Why is everyone shooting?

Oh, they started it!

Time to check on the loot.

We're not bank robbers, Rory.

Well, you wouldn't guess it
by our use of guns.

Yeah, well,
right to bear arms,

that is my Second Amendment
privilege.

The right to tell you
guns suck,

that's my First.

Okay, we're not gonna
shoot the alien.

We're gonna talk to it.

Oh, what if it
doesn't wanna talk?

Then we roast it.

Okay, just open
the crate, Rory.

Huh.

This alien pod's
different than the last one.

That's because
it's not an alien pod.

It's a warhead from a Soviet

SS-4 medium-range
ballistic missile.

Uh, Rory, where are we?

Uh, some island
in the Caribbean.

Wouldn't happen to be Cuba,
would it, Mick?

Please tell me
you didn't take us to 1962.

Why? What happened?

- Oh.
- Oh.

Rory, you just dropped us
in the middle

of the Cuban Missile Crisis.

And helped us steal a nuke.

- So?
- So?!

This is the moment in history
when Americans and Soviets

came to the brink
of nuclear war.

If we so much as sneeze...

Okay, nobody move.

It could be Armageddon.

Okay, but we can still find

the alien that'll help us
find Sara.

You remembered
to cloak the ship

before we left, right?

Yes.

I see.

Let him in.

Mr. President.

If this is about
the, uh, missiles

down in Cuba,
I've already been briefed.

I'm afraid that the nukes
are the least of our problems.

These photographs were taken

on the latest U-2 pass
over Cuba.

What the hell is that?

Mr. President,
it would appear

that the Soviets
have a new bomber.

Gideon,
what's the latest in D.C.?

JFK just called
for an emergency meeting

of his top advisors.

Damn it, that's what I get
for letting Rory run point

in the middle of the Cold War.

- It's all good.
- Is it?

JFK delivered a masterclass
in diplomacy

during the Cuban Missile Crisis.

How do I know this?

Because I wrote
my doctoral thesis on it.

You wanna go to Washington.

With your permission, Captain,

I would love to throw the ball...

No. No. Lose the accent.

- Way to wear that suit, though.
- Thank you.

Aw. Thanks, girl.

What happened to your totem?

Oh, old one clashed.

I take it you wanna go
to Washington too.

Yes, I spent
a lot of time on this.

- Ah, morning, team.
What'd I miss?

Nate and Zari
are gonna make sure

that JFK doesn't start
World War III.

The rest of us are chasing down

a displaced space alien in Cuba.

- No big deal.
- Cool. I'll just be...

- Ah, you will just be with me.
Let's go.

Come on.

We're gonna go see the Kennedys!

- Good news, Captain.
We found the pod.

It's currently on its way
to Fidel Castro's

not-so-secret bunker.

Wow, you found the alien
using your powers?

Nah. CB radio.

De nada, Capitan.

Mm-hmm. Right.

Easiest way in is here.
I'm guessing four guards.

We just blow the place to smi...
Okay, I'll take it from here.

They're not gonna let you just
walk through the front door.

That's exactly
what they're gonna do.

Let's go. Behrad, come with me.

- Why do you keep grabbing me?
Look, Captain.

Authoritarian leaders,
secret bunkers,

nuclear missiles, I'm just not

feeling the energy
of this mission.

Too bad, because I need
your energy, okay?

Can't afford any hotheads
starting a nuclear war.

Hey, I'm just trying
to help you

find your girlfriend.

You know what you can
help me do is get the missile

back to the people
that we stole it from.

Wait, the Russians?

That defeats the purpose
of stealing.

Our job is to protect history.

Remember that next time.

- Oye, oye.
Where do you think you're going?

Sorry, brother,
we just got turned around.

Is there another entrance
we can maybe try?

- Who is your companion?
- Oh, uh, she's...

I am Dr. Yevgania Shostenko.

At ease, comrade.

Who are you here to see?

Um, that's classified?

It's cool.
We can come back later.

- Oh, no, please.
We enter now. It's...

What kind of doctor are you?

Em...

The kind who specializes
in extraterrestrial creatures.

Why didn't you say so?

Follow me.

We're supposed to give
the nuke to the Russkies, right?

Well, those ain't Russkies.

Uh, permission
to shoot our way

out of a sticky situation,
Captain.

No, absolutely not.

The last thing we need
is an international incident.

- Do you copy?
- Uh-huh.

Was that a "yes" grunt
or a "no"?

That's what I thought.

Just let me do the talking,
okay?

Sorry, we, uh,
found this rig in the jungle.

We're just trying to get it
back to our Soviet comrades.

It is a stolen missile!

Yeah, we'd hate for a nuke
to fall into the wrong hands.

Which is why I must take it
to El Comandante immediately.

El who?

Fidel freakin' Castro.

Sir, wouldn't the Soviets prefer
that we return it to them?

You don't understand.

The North Americans have started
a mutant invasion.

You will follow us.

Did you not hear my order?

Lead the way, comrade.

How does this
help history, again?

Captain's orders.

Well, I liked it better
when you were in charge.

I can't believe we're here.

- Okay, let's focus.
What's the plan?

Uh, I'm gonna try to get
into JFK's inner circle

by pretending to be an
international relations expert.

This way, I can keep his finger
off the red button.

Okay, what about me?

Um...

you could pretend to be my...

Secretary.

Bingo.

Yes?

The boys could use
a fresh pot.

Oh, right away, sir.

Who's the egghead?

Do I know you?

Uh, I... I doubt it.

Dr. Nate Heywood.

Harvard? Class of 1940?

Yes. Go, Crimson.

Well, you can always use

another Harvard man
in the huddle.

Isn't that right there, Bobby?

- Class of '46.
Nice to meet you.

Bobby. Uh, Nate Heywood.

Let me introduce you
to the brain trust.

We have Secretary of Defense,
Robert McNamara, class of '39.

- Nice to meet you.
- Secretary of Treasury.

- Douglas Dillon, class of '31.
- Pleasure.

Now that the reunion's over,

perhaps we can get back
to business.

General Kilgore here wants me

to upgrade our nuclear readiness
to DEFCON 3.

This photograph shows
that the Soviets

have some sort
of space age bomber

parked off the coast of Florida.

Damn it, Mick.

What do you think,
Mr. Heywood?

- Me?
I, uh... I mean, a spaceship.

It's probably made
of plastic and plywood.

What did you say your area
of expertise was, again?

You know, Mr. President...

Call me Jack.

Wow. Jack.

This reminds me
of the 1942 Princeton game.

Refresh my memory, son,

I was too busy fighting
a World War.

Thank you for your service.

It was a 0-0 tie.

A defensive stalemate.

Neither team put the ball
in the air,

and neither got close enough
to kick a field goal.

- What a terrible game.
Both sides lost.

But... when we're talking

about lobbing nukes
at one another,

that is the only way
both sides win.

- He's over there. In here.
Okay. That's good.

Ah, just in time,
comarada doctora.

The anesthesia is working,

and we are ready to begin
the vivisection.

Uh, the what?

The vivisection.

Oh, oh, yes.

But first, can I have
shot of vodka?

As they say in my country,
it steadies the hands.

No! There is no time.

The comandante wants to know

how we can best kill
these mutant invaders.

Oh... okay.

Then, uh,
let the vivisection begin.

- Hey, uh, team powwow.
- Mm-hmm.

You're gonna, uh,
kill the only alien

- who can lead us to Sara?
- No! Of course not!

I'm just stalling so I can
come up with another plan.

Okay.

Okay!

I probably should have
mentioned this before,

but I do not like blood.

Relax, everyone!

I am just going to make a...

A tiny, little incision, yes?

We are good.

It's just a little,
tiny bit of blood.

- Uh, okay, it's okay.
Everybody, relax.

It's, uh, perfectly normal.

- This area is restricted.
Come back here!

Let me see...

I didn't realize
it was you, sir.

No worries.

Let me show you to the bunker.

Fidel will be so glad
you're here.

Comandante, look who's here!

It's your old friend Che!

Wait, you think
I'm Che Guevara?

I never said I was Che.

Then who are you?

I am...

Che's cousin, Jay?

Jay Guevara.

Just as your cousin and I
fought Batista's men,

you and I will fight
the CIA's mutant army.

Wait, you mean the alien?

Oh, sent to kill me, no doubt.

It's like the Bay of Pigs

all over again,
except this time,

we've been invaded
by squids from space.

Sir, I have an
Ambassador Popov on the phone.

Ambassador, what a pleasant...

Attack?

What attack?

You lost a nuclear missile?

What do you mean, "stolen"?

It sounds like
you've been drinking, so, uh,

call me when you've sobered up.

What did he say?

You'll never believe it.

The Russian ambassador
just accused us

of attacking Cuba with a...

Steel man.

Is that...

At least it's a good photo.

Steel man?

This is even faker
than the space ship.

This is clearly
a super yoked guy

in silver body paint.

Actually, I have reason

to believe that it's real.

DARPA initiated a program
to develop a serum

that could turn
a soldier's flesh into metal.

It would appear that
one of their

test subjects has gone rogue.

Why didn't anyone tell me
about such a program?

Eisenhower didn't think
that you Harvard boys

had the stones to deploy
such a weapon,

but the good news is,

the weapon has been deployed
for you.

But sir, if the Russkies think

that we sent a steel soldier
to sabotage their missiles,

they might do something stupid
and launch them.

So what do you suggest I do?

We launch a preemptive strike
against Cuba.

We take their little island
out of the equation.

Mr. President,
this reminds me

of the '39 Yale game. We...

You are the quarterback here,
Jack.

You're the one
calling the shots.

Take us to DEFCON 3, General.

Yay, one less DEFCON.

That means
we're one step closer

to nuclear war.

Well, that makes no sense.

Can I tell you a secret?

S�, s�.

I'm not really Russian.

- Are you North American spy?
- Worse!

I'm a clone from the future.

I snuck onto the base
to steal the alien!

I don't even know why
I'm still talking like this!

Get comfy.

I'll be right back.

Do you know the CIA
had a secret plot

to try to put a bomb
in one of my cigars once?

Not cool.

But now I have
a secret weapon of my own:

a nuclear missile.

I'm so done being a pawn
in this game of chess

between the Americans
and the Soviets.

If Cuba is attacked by squids,

I will wipe Washington
off the face off the Earth.

Ooh, candy. Mmm.

I've never seen
this brand before.

They're not for everyone.

Mmm.

Strap in, dude.

Fidel will decorate you two

as heroes of the republic
for this.

Great, great, I'll be sure

to put that one
in my trophy case.

- Headache, huh?
That time of the month?

Very funny.

No, I'm being serious.

My daughter, she has the same...

Oh, that's very sweet
of you then.

But it's not my period.
It's the alien.

I think my powers
are getting stronger.

It's not just feelings.

It's almost like
I can hear it talking.

What's it saying?

- Don't wake up.
Please, not now.

Oh, that it is pissed.

We gotta find Ava.

I don't wanna hurt you,
all right?

I just need to know
where you took my girlfriend.

Let's get outta here.

If I can force the Soviets
out of Cuba,

then all the missiles
will be mine.

Would you mind if I
played you a song, Comandante?

I would have you killed

if you didn't play me a song,
Jay Guevara.

d Well, I've been
smiling lately d

d Dreamin' about
the world as one d

d And I believe it could be

d Someday, it's going to come

d Oh, peace train
sounding louder d

d Glide on the peace train

d Ooh, ah, ee, ah, ooh, ah

d Come on the peace train

d Oh, peace train
holy roller d

d Everyone jump
upon the peace train d

d Ooh, ah, ee, ah, ooh, ah

d Come on the peace train

d Ooh, ah, ee, ah, ooh, ah

d Come on the peace train

d Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Oh, I must call Kennedy.

At once.

He and I are brothers,

just like... just like you and I
are brothers.

- Yes!
- We are all humans

placed on this one,
fragile planet.

And the only way forward is...

love!

How about another tune?

I told you that thing

was sent to kill me!

If it's war the Americans want,

it's war they shall have!

Prepare the missile
for launch immediately!

Oh, damn it.

We forgot Behrad. Again.

S�!

Guys, thought you might like

a little update
on El Comandante.

Wait, you're with
Fidel Castro?

Yeah, we're super tight,
but the problem is,

he thinks the alien was sent
to kill him.

- Why would he think that?
- Because it tried to kill him.

Report back to me

as soon as the missile
has been fueled.

Oh, and also, he's preparing

to launch a nuclear missile
at D.C.

Why does Castro have a nuke?

'Cause we gave it to him.

You said "no shooting."

I said... oh, my God.

Oh, my God,
this is not happening.

Oh, God. Okay, okay, okay.

Let's just hope
that cooler heads

are prevailing in D.C., right?

One of our boys
flying over Cuba

reports a missile being fueled.

Has Khrushchev lost his mind?

It would appear
that the missile is no longer

in the Soviets' possession, sir.

Castro's got it.

History is not supposed
to go down like this.

Say there, Jackie,

how would you and the kids
feel about, uh,

getting out of town
for a couple days?

Uh, I think Jack's
starting to crack.

Does anyone know
if Hyannis Port

is within the blast radius?

There is no time for this,
Mr. President!

If those Russkies catch us
blinking now, we're through!

What if this is just
a big misunderstanding?

What if those Russkies
want us to hit Cuba

so they can hit us?

Those clever Commie bastards!

Our only defense
is to attack the USSR!

Jack, that is insane.

Take us to DEFCON 2.

Yes, sir.

Sir, maybe I can help.

My secretary can type
120 words a minute.

This way, we could get
the bombers in the air faster.

And here I thought you were
just another pretty face.

Oh, gosh.

There you go.

This is a direct order

from the President
of the United States

to the entire
Strategic Air Command.

I've never seen someone type
with just their thumbs before.

I want every B-52 we have
headed towards

their primary targets
in the Soviet Union.

Should we lose contact
due to a first strike from Cuba,

it should be considered
a direct attack from the USSR.

Full retaliatory measures
must then be taken

without any further orders.

Because we'll all be dead.

Did you get all that, sweetie?

Oh, every last word, sir.

Guys, why is Fidel
starting World War III?

Because he thinks you guys
are invading Cuba with aliens.

Look, Behrad's trying
to cool him down.

Comandante.

You have a phone call.

It's Che Guevara.

Hello, old friend.

Yes, I know.

The news is very scary
at the moment.

Yes, I wish you were here too.

But I have a comrade-in-arms
right next to me

who's the next best thing.

Tell the CIA to call back
their squid soldiers,

or else I'll launch the nuke!

Oh, my God.

Okay, sounds like
you're up, Rory.

Thought I was
in the doghouse.

That's when we were trying
to finesse the situation.

Plans change.

You want us
to kill the alien?

We don't have a choice, okay?

Spooner, I need you
to help him track it.

We need to deescalate
the situation

and get history back on track.

- Screw history!
You kill the alien,

you kill any chance
of finding Sara.

And if we don't kill it,
then Castro

starts a nuclear war,

and Sara doesn't have a home
to return to, okay?

I do not have time
to game this out with you, Rory.

We will find another way
to find Sara.

- Right.
Lot of big brains on this ship.

I'll just stick
with what I know.

You should never
have cleaned me up.

I'm better off
doing what I do best:

being a goon, killing people.

Yes.

That's exactly what I need.

Right.

Least I know what I'm here for.

Alien's gone.

No, it's still here,
I can sense it.

Base is wide open.

Why would the stupid thing
still be here?

It's not stupid,
it's looking for something.

You know, it wasn't right
for Ava

to try to pin this all on you.

I don't give a rat's ass.

You were just trying
to find Sara.

No, I was pretending to be
somebody I'm not.

So you're just gonna go back
to being a dumb drunk?

- That it?
- Yes.

Is that...

What's it want with the nuke?

I think it wants
to get away from here.

Like, off this planet.

Wait here.

Hey, dummy.

You really think you're gonna
hitch a ride home on that thing?

It's a missile!

Go ahead, eat me.

But you're not gonna get home.

Let him go!

I know you understand me.

Put him down,
or I blow your ass away.

That thing is not a spaceship.

But lucky for you,

I've got my own.

Keep talking.

It understands you.
It just doesn't trust you.

You're not as dumb
as you look.

The alien wants
its own spaceship, not yours.

I can take you to it.

But under one condition.

You help me find my friend.

She's asking you a question.

She?

Yeah, she wants to know
what kind of fuel

the Waverider uses.

Sounds like we got a long trip
to find the captain.

Comandante,
what are you doing?

What does it look like
I'm doing?

You will start World War III.

You will kill all of us.

History will absolve me.

Call for you, General Kilgore.

Thank me? What for?

What three-day weekend?

And who all received
that order?

The entire
Strategic Air Command?!

Should've known that
she was too good to be true!

This secretary has been
countermanding your orders, sir,

and if Fidel Castro
launches that missile,

you have only got seven minutes

to order a counterstrike
against the Soviet Union.

But I thought you said

all our B-52s are still
on the ground.

Well, as much as it pains me

to have to ask
the navy for help...

What is that?

That is the nuclear football.

Sir, that allows you
to contact

the nuclear submarine captains
directly

and order an all-out strike
against the Soviets.

Jack, they don't want
a nuclear war

any more than you do.

There's been a report
of a missile launch from Cuba.

Clock is ticking, sir.

Somebody get me
Premier Khrushchev.

This has to be a mistake.

You wanna negotiate?

They were right about you.
You are soft.

Well, if you don't have the guts
to stand up to those Commies,

I guess
I'll have to do it myself.

You take one more step...
Or what?

The steel man.

You're damn right.

Look, Jack, I didn't go rogue.

I'm here to protect the world
from guys like him.

I'm guessing
your accomplice here

ain't quite so bulletproof.

Come on!

Boys. Huddle up. Huddle up!

Okay, we gotta get that
nuclear football back, boys.

Hey, Bobby,
what was that play we ran

against Dartmouth back in '39?

Guess we don't
need you anymore.

Rude.

30 seconds for the safeties
to be released.

All we gotta do
is to keep that football

out of the hands of those
lily-livered Harvard boys.

Okay, Crimson on three.

- One, two, three.
- Crimson!

Hike!

This is fun.

Oh!

My back!

No.

Intercepted!

Whoo!

To tell you the truth, sir,

this football belongs
in your hands.

The missile's headed
straight for us, Jack.

It'll be here any second.

The safeties are off.

You still have time
to strike back.

This game ain't over yet,
Mr. President.

It's not a damn game.

Whoever launched that missile,

for whatever reason,
it was a mistake.

You strike back at the Soviets,
they're gonna strike back at us.

That is why it is called
"mutually assured destruction."

Clearly you do not
understand the concept!

Listen, Jack,

just because we're about to die

doesn't mean we take
the whole damn world with us.

You're right.

I'm spiking this football.

Um...

Are we about to die?

Yeah.

But at least we gave it
the old college try.

Well, I ain't going out
without a fight!

Take that, you Commie bastards!

Um...

think we can let go
of our hands?

- You did it, Jack!
You saved us all!

Luck of the Irish, I guess.

- Come on, buddy.
Get in there.

- Yeah.
- No. Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Ah! Ah!

Go, Crimson!

Captain, I'm detecting
an unusual level

of radiation on the ship.

Rory.

Are you sure it's safe for us

to be carrying plutonium around?

No.

Whoa!

Oh, uh,
this is not how it looks.

I know.

I owe you an apology.

You saved the entire world
from nuclear Armageddon, Rory.

Well, I, uh... I had help.

Yeah.

It doesn't say much, does it?

- Oh, she does.
You'd be surprised.

- Did you say "she"?
- Mm-hmm.

Huh. So what's the plan?

Well, she's hooking some kind

of turbo charger
to the Waverider.

Why would she help us?

I promised her I'd help her
find her ship.

Okay. Do you trust her?

No, it's why I'm going alone.

Oh... uh, no. But that...

But no.

You said your job
is to protect history.

I also said your job
wasn't to think for yourself,

but had you listened
to any of my orders,

we'd have absolutely no hope
in finding Sara, so I...

I guess you got this.

Stop saying nice things.

You just bring me back
my girl, okay?

Mm.

Good luck, big guy.

Sorry, what happened
to the ship?

It should be
somewhere around here.

God, these shoes are killing me.

And this stupid hair.

I look like her again, don't I?

I hate that I'm a reminder
of everything you lost.

You're not.

I mean, I guess at first.

But now?

Now you just remind me of you.

Wasn't there a Waverider here?

- Hmm.
- Hey.

Well played, gang.

How'd you manage to avert
nuclear Armageddon?

- Sports analogies.
- Hmm.

- Pot gummies.
- Ah.

- Very on brand for both of you.
- Thank you.

Hey, where are
Rory and Spooner?

That son of a bitch
stole our ship.

- Ah, very on brand, Mick.
- Oh, come on.

You should be thanking him
for stealing the warhead

out of the missile that
Fidel launched on D.C., yes?

- Thanks, Mick.
- Hmm. Oh!

And he made a deal
with the alien

to take it to its ship
as long as

it took us to Sara.

- So he stole the ship?
- But it's...

Sorry, my phones
are on that ship.

So was my...

Oh, thank God.

How are we gonna
catch aliens now?

So-so-so sorry,
where are we going to live?

- Constantine's house.
- Constantine's house.

- Sweet.
I could use a little R&R.

All of us under the same roof
with John and Astra.

Could be a real
bonding experience.

- He's gonna hate it.
Let's leave.

- Okay.
- Damn.

Rory had the right idea.

Hmm? Hmm?

Nobody wants your drugs!

Mom.

Listen up.

Before we start
this little journey of ours,

let's get a few things straight.

Keep your slimy tentacles
off my stash, understand?

That better be a "yes."

Listen.

If you're gonna run
your ugly mouth off

this whole trip,
we're gonna have problems.

I was just asking if you had
anything stronger onboard.

Don't mind if I do.

Here's to long journeys.

Greg, move your head!

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