All language subtitles for Big.Stan.2007.1080p.BluRay.x264-[YTS.AM]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranรฎ)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil) Download
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:18,725 [man] Think about it. Right on the beach, 3 00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:22,393 ocean breezes, blue skies, seagulls. 4 00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:26,063 - All yours for the taking. - [woman] It's a timeshare. 5 00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:29,354 [man] Well, it's called a timeshare, 6 00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:32,613 but the truth is, for the two weeks you're at the condo, 7 00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:34,442 you're not sharing anything. 8 00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:38,236 You're not sharing the bathroom, not sharing the toaster, nothing. 9 00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,655 Nada. Zip. 10 00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:45,079 You are the mistress of all you survey. [chuckles] 11 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,123 My nephew looked up the neighbourhood on the computer. 12 00:00:50,091 --> 00:00:51,419 Your nephew? 13 00:00:54,178 --> 00:00:55,293 Mrs. Darby. 14 00:00:55,471 --> 00:00:59,089 He said the condo was in a bad neighbourhood. 15 00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:00,512 [whispers] Blacks. 16 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:09,643 You're right. You're right. 17 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:13,234 The condo is in a rather poor majority black neighbourhood. 18 00:01:13,405 --> 00:01:16,691 And you know what? I'm glad you brought it up. 19 00:01:16,867 --> 00:01:18,741 Seriously. 20 00:01:18,911 --> 00:01:23,739 Otherwise, I might have done something that I'd be ashamed of later. 21 00:01:23,916 --> 00:01:28,542 And that would be to sell you that timeshare. 22 00:01:28,712 --> 00:01:31,962 - You would not feel safe there. - No, I wouldn't. 23 00:01:32,132 --> 00:01:36,794 Of course you wouldn't. How could you? 24 00:01:36,970 --> 00:01:38,630 We all know, 25 00:01:38,805 --> 00:01:43,266 and I say this at the risk of sounding a little racist, 26 00:01:43,435 --> 00:01:47,682 black dudes love white women. 27 00:01:47,856 --> 00:01:51,806 Love 'em. I don't know if it's genetic or if it's society. 28 00:01:51,985 --> 00:01:55,817 We can argue nature versus nurture all day, but it's a scientific fact 29 00:01:55,989 --> 00:01:59,689 that black men can't get enough of white women. 30 00:01:59,868 --> 00:02:03,201 Don't think a woman of your age would be safe from their advances. 31 00:02:03,371 --> 00:02:04,913 No, ma'am. 32 00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:08,497 These big black bucks don't care whether you're young or old, 33 00:02:08,668 --> 00:02:09,996 skinny or fat, 34 00:02:10,169 --> 00:02:14,630 walking or with two wrinkled stumps right below the knees. 35 00:02:14,799 --> 00:02:18,666 They want your white flesh. They want it bad. 36 00:02:18,845 --> 00:02:22,925 Truth be told, I'm part black myself. 37 00:02:23,099 --> 00:02:26,384 And if it wasn't for my wife, I'd be bending you over the desk 38 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:28,304 doing you doggy-style right now. 39 00:02:29,772 --> 00:02:34,517 I can just imagine you there, all alone in that big condo, 40 00:02:34,693 --> 00:02:38,228 awash in a sea of Negro cock. 41 00:02:38,405 --> 00:02:40,314 I'll... I'll take it. 42 00:02:40,491 --> 00:02:43,492 Smart move. Sign your Jane Hancock on the dotted line. 43 00:02:43,660 --> 00:02:46,578 - You can't go in there. - Here you go. 44 00:02:46,747 --> 00:02:49,072 - Stan Minton. - I'll be with you in a second. 45 00:02:49,249 --> 00:02:50,280 Go on. Sign it. 46 00:02:50,459 --> 00:02:52,831 Stan Minton, you're under arrest for fraud. 47 00:02:53,003 --> 00:02:55,624 Anything you say will be used against you in a court. 48 00:02:55,797 --> 00:02:58,371 It's just a little mix-up. Go on, sign it. 49 00:02:58,550 --> 00:03:00,756 - You white Jezebel! - [woman] I'll call Mal! 50 00:03:00,927 --> 00:03:04,545 [Stan] You're gonna regret this! Call my attorney! 51 00:03:07,976 --> 00:03:10,645 Madam Foreman, have you reached a verdict? 52 00:03:10,812 --> 00:03:13,848 - We have, Your Honour. - Please hand it to the bailiff. 53 00:03:16,526 --> 00:03:19,729 [judge] Will the defendant please rise? 54 00:03:19,904 --> 00:03:22,193 Madam Foreman, how do you find the defendant? 55 00:03:22,365 --> 00:03:26,315 [woman] We, the jury, find the defendant guilty. 56 00:03:27,287 --> 00:03:29,991 - What? - [judge] Thank you, Madam Foreman. 57 00:03:30,164 --> 00:03:32,738 - That bitch! - Stanley, please, quiet. 58 00:03:32,917 --> 00:03:35,918 Sentencing will be tomorrow at 10am. 59 00:03:38,214 --> 00:03:41,547 - What the fuck just happened in there? - You lost, Stanley. 60 00:03:41,717 --> 00:03:44,208 I didn't lose. You're the lawyer, you lost. 61 00:03:44,387 --> 00:03:46,047 I'm truly sorry. 62 00:03:46,222 --> 00:03:48,677 Damn it, man! I'm rich! 63 00:03:48,849 --> 00:03:50,806 I wanted some of that O.J. justice. 64 00:03:50,976 --> 00:03:52,933 Maybe the judge will give probation. 65 00:03:53,103 --> 00:03:56,638 No. In this state, first-degree fraud 66 00:03:56,815 --> 00:03:59,389 carries a minimum of three to five years. 67 00:03:59,568 --> 00:04:01,395 I got it! 68 00:04:01,570 --> 00:04:04,322 - We bribe the judge. - I'm not gonna bribe the judge. 69 00:04:04,490 --> 00:04:06,566 - Bribe him. - I'm not gonna bribe him. 70 00:04:06,742 --> 00:04:08,236 - Bribe him! - Oh, please. 71 00:04:08,410 --> 00:04:10,070 - Bribe him! - No! 72 00:04:10,245 --> 00:04:12,914 I don't practise that kind of law, and I never will. 73 00:04:13,081 --> 00:04:15,370 You wanna bribe the judge? Be my guest. 74 00:04:15,542 --> 00:04:19,955 I'm sure any shyster on the street will be happy to do it for you. 75 00:04:29,264 --> 00:04:33,048 [Stan] Mal? You're fired. 76 00:04:34,686 --> 00:04:37,722 [judge] Mr. Popper, is your client ready for sentencing? 77 00:04:37,897 --> 00:04:40,056 He is, Your Honour. 78 00:04:40,233 --> 00:04:43,851 [judge] Anything you'd like to say before the court passes sentence? 79 00:04:44,028 --> 00:04:47,860 Your Honour, my client has been convicted 80 00:04:48,032 --> 00:04:50,321 of fraud in the first degree. 81 00:04:50,493 --> 00:04:53,909 A crime of which he is innocent. 82 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:57,496 But even if he were guilty 83 00:04:57,667 --> 00:05:00,418 and his customers were defrauded, 84 00:05:00,586 --> 00:05:04,963 isn't it better that Mr. Minton, as a resident of Los Angeles, 85 00:05:05,132 --> 00:05:08,667 receive the money, thereby keeping it in the community, 86 00:05:08,844 --> 00:05:12,545 as opposed to some gypsies or travelling Mexicans, 87 00:05:12,723 --> 00:05:16,851 who would have taken the money out of the community? 88 00:05:18,812 --> 00:05:21,564 Please take that into consideration. 89 00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:28,439 Mr. Minton, you are hereby sentenced to serve a term of no less than three years 90 00:05:28,614 --> 00:05:31,365 at the Verlaine State Correctional Facility. 91 00:05:31,533 --> 00:05:34,653 Normally, your sentence would begin immediately. 92 00:05:34,828 --> 00:05:39,656 However, I'm going to delay your incarceration for six months 93 00:05:39,833 --> 00:05:44,162 so that you may... reorganise the charity 94 00:05:44,337 --> 00:05:48,549 that you've established to teach music to retarded children. 95 00:05:49,968 --> 00:05:53,467 Thank you, judge. 96 00:05:54,597 --> 00:05:55,878 Court is adjourned. 97 00:05:57,016 --> 00:06:01,061 - Teach music to retarded children? - It sounded good at the time. 98 00:06:01,229 --> 00:06:03,435 - I thought you were gonna bribe him. - I did. 99 00:06:03,606 --> 00:06:06,311 Hundred grand in Krugerrand doesn't go too far now. 100 00:06:06,484 --> 00:06:08,227 - Did we win? - No. I don't get it. 101 00:06:08,403 --> 00:06:10,525 You bribe the judge and I get three years? 102 00:06:10,696 --> 00:06:12,736 Mandatory. The judge couldn't fix that. 103 00:06:12,907 --> 00:06:15,480 Now you got six months to set your affairs in order. 104 00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:17,320 My affairs are already in order. 105 00:06:18,663 --> 00:06:23,953 My legal opinion is that you take a Brazilian vacation. Permanently. 106 00:06:24,126 --> 00:06:26,415 Sounds like fun. [laughs] 107 00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,165 I can't do that. 108 00:06:28,339 --> 00:06:30,912 Those Krugerrands were the last liquid asset I had. 109 00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,214 The rest of my money is frozen in the bank. 110 00:06:33,385 --> 00:06:35,959 I'm not gonna run and leave seven million behind. 111 00:06:36,138 --> 00:06:39,174 Well, Stan, my old man had a saying: 112 00:06:39,349 --> 00:06:43,050 "You walk through a locker room, you're gonna see some dick." 113 00:06:44,188 --> 00:06:48,600 - What's that supposed to mean? - It means you rip off enough people, 114 00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:50,768 eventually you're gonna go to jail. 115 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,735 Thanks, that's really comforting. 116 00:06:52,904 --> 00:06:57,365 Hey, I'm a crooked lawyer. I know I'm going to jail someday. 117 00:06:57,534 --> 00:07:00,903 You don't see me crying about it. [laughs] 118 00:07:11,714 --> 00:07:14,585 Stan, slow down. You're gonna choke. 119 00:07:14,759 --> 00:07:18,128 I gotta eat now. I hear that prison food is real crap. 120 00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:22,423 I'm real glad we have six months together before you have to go to... 121 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,474 - You know. - Tell me about it. 122 00:07:24,644 --> 00:07:27,977 I could be in jail right now. Popper's one hell of a lawyer. 123 00:07:29,690 --> 00:07:32,312 I'm gonna be awfully lonely while you're gone. 124 00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:36,613 I know, sweetheart. But I think I get conjugal visits. 125 00:07:36,781 --> 00:07:39,782 I can probably stick it to you once a month or so. Pretty good. 126 00:07:39,950 --> 00:07:41,990 Oh, sure, that's great. 127 00:07:42,161 --> 00:07:43,869 - But I was thinking... - Mm-hm. 128 00:07:44,038 --> 00:07:49,280 ...maybe we could do something now so I wouldn't be so lonely later. 129 00:07:49,460 --> 00:07:51,251 Like what? 130 00:07:51,420 --> 00:07:55,998 Like maybe we could make a baby. 131 00:07:59,136 --> 00:08:00,678 Mindy, are you crazy? 132 00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:03,004 - I just... - I'm gonna be gone three years. 133 00:08:03,181 --> 00:08:06,432 Five at the max. What are we gonna do with the kid when I get out? 134 00:08:06,602 --> 00:08:08,594 Give it up for adoption? That's cruel. 135 00:08:08,770 --> 00:08:11,807 I thought maybe we could keep it. 136 00:08:11,982 --> 00:08:14,105 Mindy, how many times have we gone over this? 137 00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:16,648 It's selfish to bring a child into this world. 138 00:08:16,820 --> 00:08:19,655 A world full of suffering and hunger and war. 139 00:08:19,823 --> 00:08:22,574 - It's just... selfish! - I know. 140 00:08:22,742 --> 00:08:25,529 Plus, a kid would totally cramp our lifestyle. 141 00:08:25,704 --> 00:08:29,748 We couldn't go on vacation when we wanted, they break stuff, they cry. 142 00:08:29,916 --> 00:08:32,454 You'd get stretch marks. 143 00:08:32,627 --> 00:08:35,296 That's right. Stretch marks. 144 00:08:35,463 --> 00:08:36,578 Scary stuff, huh? 145 00:08:36,756 --> 00:08:39,959 [sobbing] I just let you walk all over me. 146 00:08:41,427 --> 00:08:43,420 - Oh, Mindy, come on. - [sobbing] 147 00:08:43,596 --> 00:08:45,885 OK, Mindy, you can get a dog. 148 00:08:46,057 --> 00:08:48,974 After I leave! 149 00:08:49,143 --> 00:08:51,052 Your other steak, sir. 150 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,067 [thunder rumbles] 151 00:09:15,377 --> 00:09:17,619 [rock music playing] 152 00:09:22,134 --> 00:09:25,337 - What do you want, doll? - Put some Scotch in this. 153 00:09:26,555 --> 00:09:31,015 - We got whiskey. - Not as good, but it'll have to do. 154 00:09:31,184 --> 00:09:35,052 All right. That'll be 75 cents. 155 00:09:36,648 --> 00:09:37,811 Good deal. 156 00:09:39,150 --> 00:09:43,065 - Keep the change. - Ooh! [laughs] Well... 157 00:09:45,281 --> 00:09:47,073 Ah! Give me another one, honey. 158 00:10:01,255 --> 00:10:02,666 Do you got a problem? 159 00:10:04,592 --> 00:10:06,335 No. No, I... 160 00:10:06,511 --> 00:10:10,508 I was just wondering... you've been to prison, right? 161 00:10:10,681 --> 00:10:12,473 You do have a problem. 162 00:10:12,642 --> 00:10:15,845 No, I... I'm going to prison. 163 00:10:16,020 --> 00:10:19,140 But I've never been there before and I was just thinking maybe 164 00:10:19,315 --> 00:10:20,975 you could give me some pointers. 165 00:10:22,276 --> 00:10:26,274 - I'll pay you 100 bucks. - Just for talking? 166 00:10:28,490 --> 00:10:31,610 - How much time did you get? - Three to five. 167 00:10:31,785 --> 00:10:34,157 - Where at? - Verlaine. 168 00:10:34,329 --> 00:10:39,371 Verlaine? That's fucked, Stan. Guards just don't give a damn. 169 00:10:39,543 --> 00:10:43,161 They let the cons beat the shit out of one another all day. 170 00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:44,880 How am I gonna do in there? 171 00:10:45,048 --> 00:10:48,500 I mean, if you saw me, would you beat the shit out of me? 172 00:10:50,011 --> 00:10:51,470 I'd probably rape ya. 173 00:10:53,181 --> 00:10:55,589 - You'd rape me? - Yeah. 174 00:10:57,060 --> 00:11:00,808 So it's true, huh? A lot of guys turn gay in prison? 175 00:11:00,980 --> 00:11:04,681 I'm always gay. I only rape people in prison. 176 00:11:04,859 --> 00:11:08,394 - You're gay? - Yeah. This is a gay bar. 177 00:11:08,571 --> 00:11:11,276 Whoo! 178 00:11:11,449 --> 00:11:13,109 [man] Let's do this thing. 179 00:11:16,079 --> 00:11:17,110 Whoo! 180 00:11:17,288 --> 00:11:21,831 Look, rape isn't an act of sex. Rape is an act of violence. 181 00:11:22,001 --> 00:11:25,168 And in prison society, it's all about violence. 182 00:11:25,338 --> 00:11:27,663 You're judged by how bad other cons fear you. 183 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,924 Raping a dude is the ultimate way of beating him down. 184 00:11:31,093 --> 00:11:33,169 It means you're one bad motherfucker. 185 00:11:33,346 --> 00:11:36,465 So you rape people? 186 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,677 Well, now that's something I'm not real proud of. 187 00:11:39,852 --> 00:11:43,684 I don't condone the practise, to be honest. But I do it some. 188 00:11:43,856 --> 00:11:47,106 Just to keep up with the Joneses. You know what I mean. 189 00:11:47,276 --> 00:11:51,108 Little dude like you, be an easy mark. 190 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:55,443 Oh, Jesus! Isn't there anything I could do? 191 00:11:55,617 --> 00:11:57,526 You could join a gang. 192 00:11:57,703 --> 00:12:00,241 - Are you a racist? - Not really. 193 00:12:00,414 --> 00:12:02,655 That leaves out the Nazis. 194 00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:05,502 - Got any Mob connections? - No. 195 00:12:05,669 --> 00:12:08,207 - Wouldn't happen to be Latino? - Uh-uh. 196 00:12:08,380 --> 00:12:11,049 Looks like everybody's gonna rape you. 197 00:12:12,342 --> 00:12:16,256 OK. OK, I... I bet I can be a racist for three to five years. 198 00:12:16,429 --> 00:12:19,216 - A real racist. Hardcore. - Well, good. 199 00:12:19,391 --> 00:12:21,716 - Then you can join the Nazis. - Excellent. 200 00:12:21,893 --> 00:12:23,850 You'll only be raped by other Nazis. 201 00:12:24,020 --> 00:12:27,685 Raped by Nazis? No way! 202 00:12:27,857 --> 00:12:29,102 Anything else I can do? 203 00:12:29,275 --> 00:12:32,276 Isn't there some way I can cultivate some outlaw image? 204 00:12:32,445 --> 00:12:35,814 - You have to kill a dude. - Without killing a dude? 205 00:12:35,990 --> 00:12:39,324 In your case, it'd be a real long shot, Stan. 206 00:12:39,494 --> 00:12:42,530 - Wouldn't happen to have any tats? - Tats? 207 00:12:42,705 --> 00:12:44,413 Ink. 208 00:12:44,582 --> 00:12:48,580 Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't grow up with my mom. So I... 209 00:12:48,753 --> 00:12:51,670 When I was 18, I got a tattoo. 210 00:12:55,092 --> 00:12:56,337 "Mommy". 211 00:12:56,510 --> 00:13:00,045 You might as well buy a welcome mat, strap it to your asshole. 212 00:13:00,222 --> 00:13:02,014 Say, "I'm open for business." 213 00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:07,270 [laughs] 214 00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:10,273 [thunder crashes] 215 00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:13,014 - [doorbell rings] - Whoo! 216 00:13:15,529 --> 00:13:18,613 - Stan? - [sobbing] I'm gonna get raped! 217 00:13:20,283 --> 00:13:22,406 [Mindy] Stanny! 218 00:13:22,577 --> 00:13:26,242 Stan, honey. You wanna wake up? 219 00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:29,415 It's 2:00. 220 00:13:30,835 --> 00:13:33,373 - Good morning, dear. - Good afternoon, Stan. 221 00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:36,464 I got you some orange juice. 222 00:13:36,633 --> 00:13:38,709 [slurping] 223 00:13:40,303 --> 00:13:42,759 It was all a bad dream. 224 00:13:42,931 --> 00:13:46,181 - Just a horrible dream. - What was your dream, baby? 225 00:13:46,351 --> 00:13:47,845 It was awful! 226 00:13:48,019 --> 00:13:52,562 I was gonna go to prison and big men were gonna rape me. 227 00:13:53,775 --> 00:13:57,274 But here I am, safe in my bed. 228 00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:59,105 It was all a bad dream. 229 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,818 But you are gonna be going to prison, right? 230 00:14:01,991 --> 00:14:05,324 - Huh? - You're going to prison in six months. 231 00:14:06,954 --> 00:14:09,410 No! [sobbing] 232 00:14:11,751 --> 00:14:13,873 Oh! Oh! 233 00:14:14,044 --> 00:14:17,496 Honey, it's OK. A lot can happen in six months. 234 00:14:17,673 --> 00:14:21,884 What's gonna happen, Mindy? Is my anus gonna grow teeth? 235 00:14:22,970 --> 00:14:27,679 No, silly! You'll find a way. You always do. 236 00:14:27,850 --> 00:14:29,344 What'd you just say? 237 00:14:29,518 --> 00:14:32,009 You always find a way. 238 00:14:33,814 --> 00:14:36,352 That's right. I always do. 239 00:14:36,942 --> 00:14:39,018 My baby ready to eat breakfast? 240 00:14:40,946 --> 00:14:42,144 Mindy... 241 00:14:44,241 --> 00:14:46,992 ...did I have a lot growing up? 242 00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:51,240 No, I did not. I had nothing growing up. 243 00:14:51,414 --> 00:14:54,997 I had a drunk father who was emotionally unavailable to me. 244 00:14:55,168 --> 00:14:57,493 I had a summer job at Dairy Queen. 245 00:14:57,670 --> 00:15:00,208 I had tomato soup for dinner. 246 00:15:00,381 --> 00:15:02,374 Nobody ever gave me anything. 247 00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:06,714 Truly, mine was a hardscrabble existence. 248 00:15:06,888 --> 00:15:08,715 Yet look at me today. 249 00:15:08,890 --> 00:15:10,929 I own a palatial estate, 250 00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,808 I drive a Lamborghini, 251 00:15:12,977 --> 00:15:14,804 I have a summer house on the lake, 252 00:15:14,979 --> 00:15:18,229 a complete Bang & Olufsen home theatre system, 253 00:15:18,399 --> 00:15:21,068 - a beautiful wife. - [giggles] 254 00:15:21,235 --> 00:15:24,770 And whom do I have to thank for all this stuff? 255 00:15:24,947 --> 00:15:27,782 Me. Nobody else. 256 00:15:27,950 --> 00:15:31,401 Me. I am a winner. 257 00:15:31,579 --> 00:15:35,493 I set my mind to do something, and I do it. 258 00:15:37,334 --> 00:15:42,329 And so when I say to you that I will make myself un-rapeable, 259 00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:46,041 I will be un-rapeable! 260 00:15:46,802 --> 00:15:48,213 Yay! 261 00:15:48,387 --> 00:15:50,047 [โ™ช Joe Esposito: You're the Best โ™ช] 262 00:15:50,222 --> 00:15:53,258 โ™ช You're the best around Nothing's gonna ever keep you down โ™ช 263 00:15:53,433 --> 00:15:58,391 โ™ช You're the best around Nothing's gonna ever keep you down โ™ช 264 00:15:58,563 --> 00:16:00,473 - โ™ช You're the best around โ™ช - Ow! 265 00:16:01,483 --> 00:16:05,646 โ™ช Nothing's gonna ever keep you down โ™ช 266 00:16:13,578 --> 00:16:17,445 I got a couple of things in mind. But first I got kind of a weird question. 267 00:16:17,624 --> 00:16:20,660 Do you have anything you could tattoo around my sphincter 268 00:16:20,835 --> 00:16:22,329 to make it less attractive? 269 00:16:24,505 --> 00:16:26,961 Fourteen, 15... 270 00:16:27,133 --> 00:16:31,213 - Stanny, come to bed. - Not... Not now, Mindy. 271 00:16:31,387 --> 00:16:33,296 Nineteen, 25. 272 00:16:33,473 --> 00:16:36,888 [grunts] There. You see new definition? 273 00:16:37,059 --> 00:16:39,218 My forearm. I think I see a new vein. 274 00:16:39,395 --> 00:16:41,103 I see a very sexy man. 275 00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:44,065 - You do? - [giggles] 276 00:16:44,233 --> 00:16:46,522 Well, I wonder what he's gonna do next. 277 00:16:52,950 --> 00:16:55,156 Take me, darling. 278 00:16:55,953 --> 00:16:59,653 Mindy, I'm gonna go to prison in a few months. 279 00:16:59,832 --> 00:17:01,326 Not now, honey. 280 00:17:04,002 --> 00:17:07,087 And while I'm there, men are gonna try to take advantage of me. 281 00:17:07,256 --> 00:17:10,043 - I don't wanna hear about this. - This is important. 282 00:17:10,217 --> 00:17:12,256 - [sighs] - I'm doing everything I can 283 00:17:12,427 --> 00:17:14,586 to make sure that doesn't happen. 284 00:17:14,763 --> 00:17:17,468 But if it does happen, and I do get violated... 285 00:17:17,641 --> 00:17:18,803 Stan! 286 00:17:20,393 --> 00:17:23,015 ...I want the first time... 287 00:17:23,188 --> 00:17:24,730 ...to be by someone I love. 288 00:17:31,404 --> 00:17:32,946 Oh! 289 00:17:34,741 --> 00:17:35,820 Oh. 290 00:17:37,535 --> 00:17:40,821 Stan, I couldn't. 291 00:17:40,997 --> 00:17:44,164 Please, Min, for me. 292 00:17:47,462 --> 00:17:51,044 Well... OK. 293 00:17:53,634 --> 00:17:55,093 Great. 294 00:18:08,149 --> 00:18:11,268 [Stan screaming] Oh, the horror! 295 00:18:11,527 --> 00:18:13,484 - [shouting] - Two! 296 00:18:13,654 --> 00:18:15,646 Three! Four! 297 00:18:15,823 --> 00:18:18,396 Five! Six! 298 00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:21,660 Seven! Eight! 299 00:18:21,829 --> 00:18:24,533 You must concentrate, Stanley. Concentrate! 300 00:18:24,706 --> 00:18:28,075 - How can I concentrate when I'm bored? - If you're bored, leave. 301 00:18:28,252 --> 00:18:29,662 Oh, come on, Cho. 302 00:18:30,796 --> 00:18:33,915 - Master Cho! - Master Cho. 303 00:18:34,091 --> 00:18:37,257 I've been coming here for a week and I'm still doing baby stuff. 304 00:18:37,427 --> 00:18:39,503 When am I gonna learn to kick some ass? 305 00:18:39,679 --> 00:18:43,179 I'm a yellow belt. Nobody's afraid of a yellow belt. 306 00:18:43,350 --> 00:18:45,556 You think you're ready to move up in rank? 307 00:18:46,561 --> 00:18:47,592 Yeah, that's right. 308 00:18:47,771 --> 00:18:50,309 [laughs] Fine. You'll have your chance. 309 00:18:50,482 --> 00:18:54,266 - Hey, Seymour! Come on. - All right. 310 00:18:54,444 --> 00:18:57,279 Seymour. 311 00:18:57,447 --> 00:19:00,068 You'll fight Seymour for honour of green belt. 312 00:19:02,910 --> 00:19:06,114 - Want me to fight this little guy? - [growling] 313 00:19:06,289 --> 00:19:08,744 - All right. - Fighting stance! 314 00:19:08,916 --> 00:19:11,242 All right, Seymour. See what you got. 315 00:19:11,419 --> 00:19:12,996 - [grunts] - [grunts] 316 00:19:13,629 --> 00:19:15,005 Ah! Ah! 317 00:19:15,172 --> 00:19:16,667 Oof! 318 00:19:19,885 --> 00:19:22,376 - [chuckling] - [grunting] 319 00:19:23,889 --> 00:19:26,760 - How do you like that, huh, Seymour? - Stanley! 320 00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:34,017 [grunts] 321 00:19:35,234 --> 00:19:37,772 - Uh! - You can forget about your refund! 322 00:19:37,945 --> 00:19:39,653 [both grunt] 323 00:19:42,533 --> 00:19:43,943 Is that all you got? 324 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,114 Ah! 325 00:19:54,544 --> 00:19:56,122 Pussy. 326 00:20:07,057 --> 00:20:08,385 [groaning] 327 00:20:17,442 --> 00:20:19,767 That's some technique you got. 328 00:20:28,077 --> 00:20:29,702 [cat yowls] 329 00:20:29,871 --> 00:20:35,078 You couldn't knock a shit out of a paper bag full of shit. 330 00:20:36,419 --> 00:20:38,910 Oh, and you could do better? 331 00:20:54,311 --> 00:20:56,185 Any questions? 332 00:21:00,651 --> 00:21:02,774 - [Stan] Mindy! - Dinner's almost ready! 333 00:21:02,945 --> 00:21:05,021 - I got great news! - What happened to you? 334 00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:07,818 Never mind that. I just met the best guy. Guess what? 335 00:21:07,991 --> 00:21:11,277 - He's agreed to be my trainer. - Really? What's his name? 336 00:21:12,329 --> 00:21:13,443 The Master. 337 00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:19,662 - How do you do... - The Master. 338 00:21:20,587 --> 00:21:22,378 He's gonna live with us and train me. 339 00:21:22,547 --> 00:21:25,003 I have to pay him when my accounts get unfrozen. 340 00:21:25,175 --> 00:21:26,835 - Oh. - [The Master] Ahem. 341 00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:28,670 And the contract. 342 00:21:28,845 --> 00:21:31,170 Yeah, I'll write it up right now. 343 00:21:36,686 --> 00:21:41,063 I'm so sorry, The Master, but there's no smoking in the house. 344 00:21:44,152 --> 00:21:45,694 Yes, there is. 345 00:21:49,115 --> 00:21:51,688 I better heat up another Lean Cuisine. 346 00:21:51,867 --> 00:21:55,735 Honey, you've done it again. You heated it just perfect. 347 00:21:56,789 --> 00:21:58,912 [Mindy] So... 348 00:21:59,083 --> 00:22:02,167 ...The Master, where are you from? 349 00:22:02,336 --> 00:22:04,163 Hell. 350 00:22:05,631 --> 00:22:10,044 Oh! What brought you to LA? A job? 351 00:22:11,095 --> 00:22:15,424 I travel where the wind takes me. 352 00:22:16,850 --> 00:22:19,721 - Isn't he great? - [laughs] 353 00:22:19,895 --> 00:22:23,062 Well, how long have you been teaching the art of self-defence? 354 00:22:25,776 --> 00:22:29,773 Young lady, what I teach is not art. 355 00:22:29,946 --> 00:22:31,904 It is science. 356 00:22:32,073 --> 00:22:37,115 A careful amalgam of the most deadly parts of karate, kung fu, 357 00:22:37,287 --> 00:22:41,783 Wing Chun, Krav Maga, Muay Thai, 358 00:22:41,958 --> 00:22:45,908 savate and Filipino Kali. 359 00:22:46,087 --> 00:22:47,332 My favourite. 360 00:22:47,505 --> 00:22:50,079 Ooh! [laughs] Wow! 361 00:22:50,842 --> 00:22:53,594 I find weakness 362 00:22:53,761 --> 00:22:56,431 and turn it into strength. 363 00:22:56,597 --> 00:22:59,598 I find fat and turn it into muscle. 364 00:22:59,767 --> 00:23:04,476 I find blisters and turn them into canker sores. 365 00:23:04,647 --> 00:23:09,225 I find doubt and I turn it into will. 366 00:23:09,402 --> 00:23:11,643 You can stop doing that now. 367 00:23:11,821 --> 00:23:14,193 - Doing what? - Your hand. 368 00:23:16,033 --> 00:23:19,698 Oh. I forgot it was there. 369 00:23:23,290 --> 00:23:25,199 I'm gonna take a shit. 370 00:23:28,003 --> 00:23:30,577 - Enjoy yourself. - Mm. 371 00:23:32,174 --> 00:23:36,172 Stan, honey, does he really have to live here? 372 00:23:36,345 --> 00:23:38,633 - The Master? - He scares me. 373 00:23:38,805 --> 00:23:42,673 I know. He scares me too. That's exactly why he's the perfect guy to teach me. 374 00:23:42,851 --> 00:23:45,556 - But, Stan... - Look, want me to survive in prison? 375 00:23:45,729 --> 00:23:48,896 - Of course I do. - Then don't argue with me about this. 376 00:23:49,065 --> 00:23:50,608 You'll see, he'll grow on you. 377 00:24:01,411 --> 00:24:03,818 Wake up, weakling. 378 00:24:03,997 --> 00:24:07,330 - [both scream] - What the hell you doing in here? 379 00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:10,834 It's time to begin your training. 380 00:24:11,004 --> 00:24:13,292 - But it's five in the morning. - [The Master growls] 381 00:24:13,464 --> 00:24:16,382 - Is that liver? - It's your breakfast. 382 00:24:16,551 --> 00:24:21,793 And every moment you delay, I squeeze out more of its vital juices. 383 00:24:21,973 --> 00:24:24,298 Trust me, you'll need them later. 384 00:24:24,475 --> 00:24:27,844 - OK, I'm up. - [The Master] But are you ready? 385 00:24:28,020 --> 00:24:30,690 Look what I found beside your bed. 386 00:24:30,856 --> 00:24:34,106 This is weakness. 387 00:24:34,276 --> 00:24:37,645 This is defeatism. 388 00:24:37,822 --> 00:24:40,443 Actually, we were kind of enjoying that. 389 00:24:40,616 --> 00:24:42,609 Eat this. 390 00:24:43,744 --> 00:24:45,902 And follow me. 391 00:24:52,419 --> 00:24:53,796 [The Master] Punch! All right, now kick. 392 00:24:53,796 --> 00:24:56,037 [The Master] Punch! All right, now kick. 393 00:24:56,215 --> 00:24:58,503 - Kick! - [blender whirring] 394 00:24:59,551 --> 00:25:00,926 Kick like you mean it! 395 00:25:01,553 --> 00:25:03,047 [glass shatters] 396 00:25:03,221 --> 00:25:06,756 - Oh! - I blended that gross stuff you wanted. 397 00:25:06,933 --> 00:25:10,598 I got it all in Koreatown. I didn't even know there was a Koreatown. 398 00:25:10,770 --> 00:25:12,597 [sniffing] 399 00:25:14,274 --> 00:25:16,231 Too many eggs. 400 00:25:16,401 --> 00:25:19,852 The fish oil is nice. Ox pancreas is good. 401 00:25:21,239 --> 00:25:24,074 - Next time, use more tongue. - That's what she said. 402 00:25:24,242 --> 00:25:25,985 - Ooh! - Oh, Stan! 403 00:25:26,161 --> 00:25:28,034 - I'm all right. - Get away from him! 404 00:25:28,204 --> 00:25:32,581 - I'm OK. - Rise and drink your lunch. 405 00:25:37,088 --> 00:25:38,915 [slurping] 406 00:25:41,092 --> 00:25:43,380 Don't I get to eat anything that tastes good? 407 00:25:46,681 --> 00:25:50,630 - You like hot dogs? - Yeah, sure. 408 00:25:50,810 --> 00:25:53,135 If you don't drink that, 409 00:25:53,312 --> 00:25:55,684 the boys in prison will feed you... 410 00:25:57,024 --> 00:25:59,313 ...many hot dogs. 411 00:26:08,786 --> 00:26:11,952 I can kick your ass so fast you wouldn't even feel it. 412 00:26:12,122 --> 00:26:15,621 - I'd like to see that. - [whooshing] 413 00:26:15,792 --> 00:26:18,996 You didn't kick me in the ass. I didn't feel anything. 414 00:26:19,171 --> 00:26:20,962 [sighs] 415 00:26:24,009 --> 00:26:26,001 [sniffs] 416 00:26:27,554 --> 00:26:29,677 [Stan] Ow! Ow! 417 00:26:29,848 --> 00:26:32,303 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 418 00:26:32,475 --> 00:26:34,349 Ow! Ow! Ow! 419 00:26:34,519 --> 00:26:35,978 Oh! Ow! Ooh! 420 00:26:36,146 --> 00:26:38,637 - [The Master] Pain is interpretation. - OK. 421 00:26:38,815 --> 00:26:43,393 I'm gonna call a time-out here. You're beating my husband with a flaming stick. 422 00:26:43,570 --> 00:26:46,654 Isn't there some kind of role-playing exercise you can do? 423 00:26:46,823 --> 00:26:49,314 Run along, honey. This is man stuff here. 424 00:26:49,492 --> 00:26:51,235 Go ahead, Master. 425 00:26:51,411 --> 00:26:53,652 Ow! Ow! Ow! 426 00:26:53,830 --> 00:26:57,364 Ow! Ah! Oh! 427 00:26:57,542 --> 00:26:59,665 Ow! Ah! 428 00:26:59,836 --> 00:27:02,505 [grunting] 429 00:27:04,632 --> 00:27:08,464 No disrespect, I realise this is strengthening my nipples. 430 00:27:08,636 --> 00:27:11,471 And believe me, I can feel the burn. 431 00:27:11,639 --> 00:27:15,683 I was wondering, just how important are strong nipples? 432 00:27:15,851 --> 00:27:18,473 - Someday these nipples... - Ah! 433 00:27:18,646 --> 00:27:21,516 ...may save your life. - Ah! 434 00:27:22,858 --> 00:27:26,357 You are what you eat. 435 00:27:26,528 --> 00:27:29,814 [Mindy] Um, are you sure that's Eastern mysticism? 436 00:27:29,990 --> 00:27:32,991 Because I learned that in health class in third grade. 437 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:34,784 Silence, woman. 438 00:27:34,953 --> 00:27:38,903 I mean, all that stuff about pain and illusion sounds totally mystical. 439 00:27:39,082 --> 00:27:42,368 But "you are what you eat"? Even I know that. And I am from Omaha. 440 00:27:45,172 --> 00:27:47,413 What part of Omaha? 441 00:27:47,591 --> 00:27:50,212 - Oh! - Dundee. 442 00:27:51,303 --> 00:27:52,880 Happy Hollow. 443 00:27:53,972 --> 00:27:55,383 You're Oscar? 444 00:27:55,557 --> 00:27:58,130 I should have known. 445 00:27:58,309 --> 00:28:02,141 Those womanly, childbearing hips 446 00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:07,355 could not be a product of this perfidious coast. 447 00:28:07,527 --> 00:28:10,812 Uh, do you mind? I'm trying to eat scorpion here. 448 00:28:10,988 --> 00:28:13,111 Insolent fool! 449 00:28:13,616 --> 00:28:16,487 - [Mindy screams] - You have lost the right 450 00:28:16,661 --> 00:28:19,199 to eat scorpion. 451 00:28:22,500 --> 00:28:26,284 - [sighs] - Great. There goes my lunch. 452 00:28:26,462 --> 00:28:28,086 - Thanks. - This is not working. 453 00:28:28,255 --> 00:28:29,999 - Master says... - Master's a jerk. 454 00:28:30,174 --> 00:28:31,668 - Shh! - He is! 455 00:28:31,842 --> 00:28:36,421 And he is a creep. The house smells. Does he have to smoke in every room? 456 00:28:36,597 --> 00:28:40,429 The only time I see you alone is in bed and you're too tired to... 457 00:28:40,601 --> 00:28:43,970 Hey! I got five months, and then it's prison. I gotta stay focused. 458 00:28:44,146 --> 00:28:48,607 I gotta think, eat, breathe prison. I don't have time for anything else. 459 00:28:48,775 --> 00:28:51,776 Not even time for me? 460 00:28:51,945 --> 00:28:54,152 [sighs] 461 00:28:54,323 --> 00:28:55,651 Tell you what. 462 00:28:55,824 --> 00:28:59,193 After I'm done working out with The Master, I'll rent some movies, 463 00:28:59,369 --> 00:29:02,738 and we'll cuddle around the TV like old times, OK? 464 00:29:02,914 --> 00:29:04,706 Really? 465 00:29:12,924 --> 00:29:14,039 - Mindy! - [gasps] 466 00:29:14,217 --> 00:29:17,052 Some men broke into the house! They wanna rape you! 467 00:29:17,220 --> 00:29:19,426 - What? - Big men! 468 00:29:19,597 --> 00:29:22,717 - They wanna rape you! Repeatedly! - What about The Master? 469 00:29:22,892 --> 00:29:26,391 They have guns! They killed him! There's nothing we can do! 470 00:29:26,562 --> 00:29:29,480 - You're gonna get raped! Raped! - Oh, my God! 471 00:29:29,649 --> 00:29:32,318 - Raped! - [sobbing] 472 00:29:32,485 --> 00:29:34,442 Rape! 473 00:29:36,656 --> 00:29:38,114 There. 474 00:29:40,618 --> 00:29:43,738 - Now you know how I feel. - What? 475 00:29:43,913 --> 00:29:47,495 Fear of rape. That's what I'm gonna have to live with for three years. 476 00:29:47,666 --> 00:29:51,249 [whimpering] Nobody broke into the house? 477 00:29:51,420 --> 00:29:52,618 That's right. 478 00:29:52,796 --> 00:29:55,833 Now maybe you'll be supportive of what I'm going through. 479 00:29:56,008 --> 00:29:59,626 [gasping] You son of a bitch! 480 00:30:01,221 --> 00:30:03,510 - OK, you're upset. - You son of a bitch! 481 00:30:03,682 --> 00:30:06,469 - You don't have to call names. Mindy! - Son of a bitch! 482 00:30:06,643 --> 00:30:11,222 - Bitch, bitch, bitch! You bastard! - Mindy. Mindy! 483 00:30:11,398 --> 00:30:14,683 - [screaming] - Oh! Mindy. 484 00:30:14,860 --> 00:30:17,529 - What are you doing? - What's it look like? Leaving. 485 00:30:17,696 --> 00:30:20,946 Why? Because I pull one little prank, which when you calm down... 486 00:30:21,116 --> 00:30:23,867 It's not just one prank! You only think about yourself! 487 00:30:24,035 --> 00:30:26,953 You're the most selfish man who ever lived, ever! Ever! 488 00:30:27,122 --> 00:30:30,538 Whoa! Excuse me? Selfish? I find that funny! I really do! 489 00:30:30,709 --> 00:30:33,081 I've given you everything you've ever wanted! 490 00:30:33,253 --> 00:30:34,830 - You're crazy! - This house! 491 00:30:35,004 --> 00:30:36,962 - It's in your name. - Those boobs! 492 00:30:37,132 --> 00:30:40,216 - You wanted these. - You said the Lamborghini's too small, 493 00:30:40,385 --> 00:30:44,299 - I got a second car. - A 1955 Porsche Speedster! 494 00:30:44,472 --> 00:30:47,473 - It has a back seat! - Oh! 495 00:30:48,476 --> 00:30:52,521 - What do you want? I'll do anything. - I want a baby, you asshole! 496 00:30:52,688 --> 00:30:55,606 That again? Fine. OK. You win. 497 00:30:55,775 --> 00:30:58,266 - We'll have a baby. - Really? 498 00:30:58,444 --> 00:31:01,279 No, not really, but we can visit people who have kids. 499 00:31:01,447 --> 00:31:04,234 - [groans] - [starts engine] 500 00:31:04,408 --> 00:31:06,235 [Mindy] Goodbye! 501 00:31:07,953 --> 00:31:10,444 Good, leave! I don't need you! 502 00:31:10,623 --> 00:31:12,414 I don't need anybody! 503 00:31:12,583 --> 00:31:15,121 - [woman moaning on TV] God! - [knock on door] 504 00:31:15,294 --> 00:31:19,374 Uh, one moment. I'm... meditating. 505 00:31:23,927 --> 00:31:26,299 - [sighs] - [woman on TV] It's so big! Oh, God! 506 00:31:26,471 --> 00:31:28,096 Mindy left. 507 00:31:28,515 --> 00:31:30,887 - [woman on TV] Yes, yes, yes! - Good. 508 00:31:31,059 --> 00:31:34,060 Oh, God! [screaming] 509 00:31:34,229 --> 00:31:37,847 Now, the real training can begin. 510 00:31:40,277 --> 00:31:44,321 We do not have time to teach you the five fingers of death. 511 00:31:44,489 --> 00:31:47,609 We have only time for one finger. 512 00:31:48,159 --> 00:31:49,654 Pick one. 513 00:31:50,662 --> 00:31:53,698 All right. Wait. This one. 514 00:31:57,794 --> 00:31:59,252 Hold this. 515 00:32:08,888 --> 00:32:10,086 Your turn. 516 00:32:20,149 --> 00:32:21,976 - [grunts] - [cracking] 517 00:32:24,028 --> 00:32:27,646 Ah! Ow! 518 00:32:27,823 --> 00:32:31,655 Ah! Ah! 519 00:32:31,827 --> 00:32:34,365 - [cracking] - [screaming] 520 00:32:34,538 --> 00:32:39,034 [โ™ช The Briggs: Harder to Stand] 521 00:32:47,342 --> 00:32:49,169 Ah! 522 00:32:49,344 --> 00:32:51,633 [screaming] 523 00:32:59,938 --> 00:33:03,722 โ™ช You don't know what to do, you're sitting there and you're all alone 524 00:33:03,900 --> 00:33:06,308 Don't look at what you're doing. 525 00:33:06,486 --> 00:33:09,522 Just feel. Feel. 526 00:33:09,697 --> 00:33:13,232 โ™ช You've got no place to call your home 527 00:33:13,409 --> 00:33:16,743 I felt. It felt bad. 528 00:33:19,082 --> 00:33:20,706 Oh! 529 00:33:23,002 --> 00:33:27,664 You must learn to feel your opponent. Know his intentions. 530 00:33:30,301 --> 00:33:34,714 If he is good at a distance, then you must be close. 531 00:33:38,559 --> 00:33:44,063 If he is good close, then you must fight him at a distance. 532 00:33:50,237 --> 00:33:54,235 What if your opponent is good close and from a distance? 533 00:33:54,408 --> 00:33:56,447 Then you are up to your eyeballs in shit. 534 00:33:56,618 --> 00:33:59,156 Watch your mouth. You are nobody. 535 00:34:01,623 --> 00:34:02,655 Ow! 536 00:34:03,959 --> 00:34:06,628 - Hey, what are those? - A little something I picked up 537 00:34:06,795 --> 00:34:09,749 - at the Shaolin temple. - What do you use them for? 538 00:34:09,923 --> 00:34:11,334 Oh! 539 00:34:12,092 --> 00:34:13,551 Oh! Ow! 540 00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:15,510 Oh! Ah! 541 00:34:16,304 --> 00:34:18,261 Your lunch. 542 00:34:50,588 --> 00:34:52,830 [coughing] 543 00:35:11,025 --> 00:35:13,516 Yeah. 544 00:35:13,694 --> 00:35:16,019 [Stan chuckles] 545 00:35:17,990 --> 00:35:20,278 - Whoo-hoo! - All right, that's close enough. 546 00:35:24,079 --> 00:35:25,110 Whoo-hoo! 547 00:35:26,331 --> 00:35:28,324 [cackles] Hoo-hoo! 548 00:35:30,001 --> 00:35:32,623 Ah! [grunts] 549 00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:37,046 Never celebrate too early. 550 00:35:37,217 --> 00:35:38,794 I'll remember that. 551 00:35:47,143 --> 00:35:48,341 Yes. 552 00:35:52,023 --> 00:35:54,431 Mississippi five, Mississippi six, 553 00:35:54,609 --> 00:35:56,934 Mississippi seven, Mississippi eight, 554 00:35:57,111 --> 00:36:00,196 Mississippi nine... 555 00:36:00,364 --> 00:36:02,606 My God! That is amazing! 556 00:36:02,784 --> 00:36:04,776 Oh, that's nothing. You should see him. 557 00:36:04,952 --> 00:36:09,365 It's easy for me. Cigarettes have ruined my circulation so much 558 00:36:09,540 --> 00:36:12,209 I can't even feel my hands anymore. 559 00:36:12,376 --> 00:36:14,285 So that's your trick. 560 00:36:14,462 --> 00:36:16,004 Mm-hm. 561 00:36:16,589 --> 00:36:21,215 Here's to Stan Minton, my second finest student. 562 00:36:21,385 --> 00:36:23,710 Second finest? 563 00:36:23,888 --> 00:36:25,595 Who's number one? 564 00:36:25,764 --> 00:36:28,765 I hope you never have to find that out. 565 00:36:28,934 --> 00:36:32,552 He used what I taught him, not for his own protection, 566 00:36:32,730 --> 00:36:34,971 but for evil. 567 00:36:39,820 --> 00:36:43,687 Well, fuck that guy. Here's to number two. 568 00:36:43,865 --> 00:36:49,239 Now, drink up. Stan has one final test. 569 00:36:50,580 --> 00:36:51,956 Tonight. 570 00:36:54,834 --> 00:36:57,835 I do? OK. 571 00:36:58,004 --> 00:36:59,629 Let's go for it. 572 00:37:16,981 --> 00:37:18,689 Hello, Cho. 573 00:37:18,858 --> 00:37:21,610 It's Master Cho to you. 574 00:37:21,778 --> 00:37:25,989 Master Cho? Or Masturbator Cho? 575 00:37:26,157 --> 00:37:30,285 - Excuse me? - You heard me... punk. 576 00:37:34,498 --> 00:37:37,333 Looking for a beat-down, mister? 577 00:37:37,501 --> 00:37:40,870 What are you looking for? To beat off? 578 00:37:41,046 --> 00:37:42,790 That's it. 579 00:37:44,842 --> 00:37:46,633 [grunting] 580 00:37:54,852 --> 00:37:55,931 Ooh! 581 00:38:00,899 --> 00:38:02,144 [Stan chuckles] 582 00:38:03,568 --> 00:38:06,024 [grunting] 583 00:38:11,826 --> 00:38:14,400 [clapping] 584 00:38:16,581 --> 00:38:18,325 [The Master] Very good, Stan. 585 00:38:18,500 --> 00:38:20,623 You mind walking me to my car? 586 00:38:20,794 --> 00:38:23,285 - All right. - [laughing] 587 00:38:23,463 --> 00:38:27,876 I don't feel too comfortable here. I don't think the Asian people like me. 588 00:38:28,051 --> 00:38:30,672 [โ™ช C-Bo: What You Want Nigga] 589 00:38:33,306 --> 00:38:35,133 [music stops] 590 00:38:41,397 --> 00:38:46,225 All right, you just go up those steps, turn yourself in for processing. 591 00:38:46,402 --> 00:38:48,774 By the way, slight change of plans. 592 00:38:48,946 --> 00:38:51,817 The Bureau of Prisons called me yesterday. 593 00:38:51,991 --> 00:38:55,075 They're sending you to Oaksburg, not Verlaine. 594 00:38:55,244 --> 00:38:59,111 - Why? - Who knows? Bureaucracy. 595 00:38:59,290 --> 00:39:02,409 It makes no difference. 596 00:39:03,961 --> 00:39:06,748 Go on. You'll do great. 597 00:39:06,922 --> 00:39:09,793 - Yeah? - Yeah. 598 00:39:13,387 --> 00:39:16,803 Uh, did Mindy or her lawyer call about the divorce? 599 00:39:19,559 --> 00:39:22,845 It's not like I care anyway. All right. 600 00:39:23,021 --> 00:39:24,930 See you guys in three years. 601 00:39:30,654 --> 00:39:35,031 - What do you think? - I think you should walk away quickly. 602 00:39:39,037 --> 00:39:41,658 [coughing] 603 00:39:43,541 --> 00:39:46,542 - Ah! Filthy pig! - I need a beer. 604 00:39:46,711 --> 00:39:48,039 Oh! 605 00:39:48,212 --> 00:39:50,917 Don't get in the car! 606 00:39:51,090 --> 00:39:53,842 [continues muttering] 607 00:39:54,010 --> 00:39:57,758 [sobbing, sniffling] 608 00:40:12,111 --> 00:40:14,103 This your first time? 609 00:40:16,532 --> 00:40:19,948 Hey, sweetie, ain't you got a name? 610 00:40:20,119 --> 00:40:22,242 Ah! 611 00:40:22,413 --> 00:40:25,746 Talk to me again, I'll twist your whole damn titty off. 612 00:40:25,916 --> 00:40:29,166 - Ooh, my mama, ooh, my mama. - Hey, man, I'm scared too. 613 00:40:29,336 --> 00:40:31,827 But it can't be as bad as they say it is. 614 00:40:32,005 --> 00:40:36,169 It's just as bad as they say. The sooner you realise that, the better. 615 00:40:36,343 --> 00:40:40,672 - Tell 'em. - You'll find out, soon enough. 616 00:40:42,516 --> 00:40:44,888 What'd I say about talking to me? 617 00:40:46,353 --> 00:40:47,681 Damn, man! 618 00:41:10,710 --> 00:41:13,415 [man] Welcome to Oaksburg Penitentiary. 619 00:41:13,588 --> 00:41:16,672 For reasons beyond what I care to imagine, 620 00:41:16,841 --> 00:41:20,589 you gentlemen have found yourselves under my stewardship. 621 00:41:20,761 --> 00:41:24,973 My name is Warden Francis Gasque. 622 00:41:25,141 --> 00:41:27,548 But you can just call me Boss. 623 00:41:27,727 --> 00:41:31,475 We only got one rule here at Oaksburg: 624 00:41:31,647 --> 00:41:37,234 Don't fuck with the Boss. That means you leave me and my men alone. 625 00:41:37,403 --> 00:41:42,111 What you animals do to each other, that's your business. 626 00:41:42,282 --> 00:41:46,031 And right behind you is the warden's garden. 627 00:41:46,203 --> 00:41:51,363 Anybody caught pissing on that will have his penis removed. 628 00:41:53,001 --> 00:41:56,702 Sergeant Bullard will lead you to the medical office where you'll strip 629 00:41:56,880 --> 00:42:00,960 and have your cavities searched. You're gonna enjoy that. 630 00:42:01,134 --> 00:42:05,428 Now, gentlemen! Single file. Come on! Get up there. 631 00:42:05,597 --> 00:42:06,628 Pecker to butt hole. 632 00:42:11,144 --> 00:42:14,430 All right, assume the position. 633 00:42:20,153 --> 00:42:23,901 - [screams] - Why you screaming like a little girl?! 634 00:42:24,073 --> 00:42:27,110 Sarge, look. 635 00:42:27,285 --> 00:42:29,076 Sweet Jesus! 636 00:42:31,664 --> 00:42:36,041 It's like an alien staring into my soul. 637 00:42:36,294 --> 00:42:37,954 [door buzzes] 638 00:42:38,129 --> 00:42:42,541 Welcome home. New luxury condos, compliments of the state. 639 00:42:42,717 --> 00:42:44,425 Step it up, boys. 640 00:42:45,761 --> 00:42:50,257 - [blues plays] - [men shouting] 641 00:42:50,432 --> 00:42:53,433 - Come on, sweet meat! - [yelling] 642 00:43:01,693 --> 00:43:06,320 Hello there, young fella. I guess we're cellmates. 643 00:43:07,783 --> 00:43:11,827 My name's Larry. But you can call me Shorts. 644 00:43:11,995 --> 00:43:14,533 Shorts, you're in my bunk. 645 00:43:14,706 --> 00:43:18,620 - What? - That's my bunk. Get out. 646 00:43:18,794 --> 00:43:22,127 [laughing] You hold on there just a second. 647 00:43:22,297 --> 00:43:25,666 This is my bunk. What gives you the right to... 648 00:43:25,842 --> 00:43:27,420 Ow! 649 00:43:29,054 --> 00:43:34,392 - I said that's my bunk. - Yeah, I guess it is. 650 00:43:34,559 --> 00:43:35,757 Whoo! 651 00:43:42,150 --> 00:43:45,519 Uh, you might wanna change the sheets. 652 00:43:47,447 --> 00:43:50,364 I'm kind of a compulsive masturbator. 653 00:43:55,329 --> 00:43:56,871 Shorts, that's your bunk. 654 00:43:57,039 --> 00:44:00,242 - Really? - Absolutely. 655 00:44:00,418 --> 00:44:04,332 Thanks, buddy. I think we're gonna get along just fine. 656 00:44:04,505 --> 00:44:05,785 Hey, put her here. 657 00:44:08,134 --> 00:44:11,716 - I don't shake hands. - Well, whatever. 658 00:44:11,887 --> 00:44:15,636 [grunts, sighs] 659 00:44:15,808 --> 00:44:18,215 Ah, good to be back. 660 00:44:20,354 --> 00:44:23,105 Tell me, Shorts, who's the toughest guy here? 661 00:44:23,273 --> 00:44:25,515 Who's the biggest bad-ass in the cell block? 662 00:44:25,692 --> 00:44:28,942 Biggest bad-ass... There's a lot of contenders. 663 00:44:29,112 --> 00:44:33,062 There's Cleon. He's leader of the Diamond Kings, the black gang. 664 00:44:33,241 --> 00:44:38,034 - I seen him kill a man with his fist. - That's right! Yeah! 665 00:44:38,205 --> 00:44:42,582 Then there's Juanito. He's head of the Mexican gang. 666 00:44:42,751 --> 00:44:44,743 Hey, get back. Hey! 667 00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:48,585 And whatever you do, don't go near those guys. 668 00:44:48,757 --> 00:44:53,917 - The goal is to express ourselves... - They're Scientologists. 669 00:44:54,095 --> 00:44:57,630 - They don't look so tough. - Yeah. They'll talk your ear off 670 00:44:57,807 --> 00:45:00,298 - and then sue your ass. ...distinguish fear. 671 00:45:00,476 --> 00:45:04,426 Then there's the Nazis. None of them are too tough. 672 00:45:04,605 --> 00:45:08,685 They don't fight fair and don't fight alone. They always gang up on you. 673 00:45:08,860 --> 00:45:11,777 Their leader, Patterson, he's a real bastard. 674 00:45:11,946 --> 00:45:15,397 His uncle's the head of the Aryan Nation. 675 00:45:15,575 --> 00:45:17,401 Let me clarify my question, Shorts. 676 00:45:17,576 --> 00:45:20,246 Who's the most dangerous sexual predator? 677 00:45:20,413 --> 00:45:22,370 Oh, that's easy. 678 00:45:22,540 --> 00:45:25,706 It's Big Raymond. Absolutely insatiable. 679 00:45:25,876 --> 00:45:28,877 Crazy. The other black guys don't go near him. 680 00:45:29,046 --> 00:45:32,711 But they'd back him up if it came to a fight. 681 00:45:32,883 --> 00:45:35,125 Big Raymond it is. 682 00:45:35,302 --> 00:45:37,176 - Can I borrow that? - Yeah. 683 00:45:37,346 --> 00:45:38,840 Thanks. 684 00:45:40,557 --> 00:45:43,262 Hey, Stan. Stan, where you going? 685 00:45:43,435 --> 00:45:46,306 You think that cigarette was free? Is that what you think? 686 00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:49,149 I'll pay you back, man. I don't have any money. 687 00:45:49,316 --> 00:45:51,771 You think I want money? 688 00:45:52,986 --> 00:45:54,149 Mmm... 689 00:45:54,321 --> 00:45:57,903 - Excuse me. - Bug off, bitch! 690 00:45:58,074 --> 00:46:00,482 I'll get to you later. 691 00:46:00,660 --> 00:46:02,534 Did you just call me bitch? 692 00:46:03,997 --> 00:46:05,954 Yeah, I said it. 693 00:46:09,794 --> 00:46:11,917 Hey, everybody! Did you hear that? 694 00:46:12,088 --> 00:46:15,291 Big Raymond, for no reason, just called me bitch! 695 00:46:15,466 --> 00:46:17,174 Now, was that nice? 696 00:46:17,343 --> 00:46:20,095 - [muttering] - It's not like I called him fat. 697 00:46:21,389 --> 00:46:24,509 It's not like I said I seen pig shit prettier than he is. 698 00:46:27,103 --> 00:46:30,803 It's not like I said his mother's pussy smells like egg salad. 699 00:46:31,899 --> 00:46:33,524 Which it does. 700 00:46:40,199 --> 00:46:41,777 [men shouting] 701 00:46:41,951 --> 00:46:45,070 [man] Oh, hell nah! Ohhh, hell nah! 702 00:46:45,246 --> 00:46:48,449 Hell nah! Oh, hell nah! 703 00:46:48,624 --> 00:46:50,498 Ho-ho! Yeah! 704 00:46:50,668 --> 00:46:53,075 [shouting] 705 00:46:59,218 --> 00:47:01,791 [cracking] 706 00:47:02,429 --> 00:47:04,220 [screaming] 707 00:47:04,389 --> 00:47:07,805 - [snapping] - Ah! Ah! 708 00:47:07,976 --> 00:47:10,597 Ahhh! 709 00:47:10,771 --> 00:47:12,644 [screaming] 710 00:47:12,814 --> 00:47:14,439 Who's the bitch now, bitch? 711 00:47:14,608 --> 00:47:16,150 [continues screaming] 712 00:47:16,318 --> 00:47:17,646 [all] Ooh! 713 00:47:17,819 --> 00:47:20,737 I told you Raymond was gonna get his ass beat. I told you! 714 00:47:20,905 --> 00:47:24,156 [cheering] 715 00:47:24,326 --> 00:47:27,113 [laughing] My cracker! 716 00:47:27,287 --> 00:47:29,742 Laying the boot to the big nigga. Give it up! 717 00:47:29,914 --> 00:47:32,785 Don't use that word around me. It's ugly and racist. 718 00:47:34,294 --> 00:47:38,042 - [all laugh] - [man] Yeah, dawg! 719 00:47:39,465 --> 00:47:41,339 He's funny too, man. 720 00:47:41,509 --> 00:47:44,344 All right, listen here, player. All right? 721 00:47:44,512 --> 00:47:48,130 We want you to join up with us, nah mean? Them niggas is gonna tear... 722 00:47:48,307 --> 00:47:50,430 [man] Ooh! 723 00:47:50,601 --> 00:47:52,475 I said don't talk that way around me. 724 00:47:52,645 --> 00:47:54,020 Let me get some of that! 725 00:47:54,188 --> 00:47:57,272 - [man] Let's kill him. - No, I got it, I got it. I got it! 726 00:47:58,109 --> 00:47:59,982 Handle your business, Cleon. 727 00:48:03,572 --> 00:48:07,273 Oh, come on. Don't tell me you're gonna stick up for that fat son of a bitch. 728 00:48:07,451 --> 00:48:10,785 You happen to see the colour of that fat son of a bitch's skin? 729 00:48:10,954 --> 00:48:13,161 Hey, aren't we over that? 730 00:48:13,332 --> 00:48:16,119 Didn't you see that Nova episode? Huh, you guys? 731 00:48:16,293 --> 00:48:18,333 They did that DNA test. 732 00:48:18,504 --> 00:48:20,959 - We all come from Africa. - [man] Kick his ass. 733 00:48:21,131 --> 00:48:25,378 It's a proven fact. Under the skin, I'm just as black as you are. 734 00:48:25,552 --> 00:48:27,011 - [man] Fuck that. - Get him! 735 00:48:27,179 --> 00:48:30,879 - [man] Get him, man! Get him! Get him! - Motherfucker! 736 00:48:31,057 --> 00:48:33,928 [grunting] 737 00:48:37,314 --> 00:48:39,271 - Get him! - Ah! 738 00:48:43,486 --> 00:48:45,693 [shouting] 739 00:48:50,493 --> 00:48:52,201 Man, get that fool! 740 00:49:05,049 --> 00:49:06,294 Dumb bitch! 741 00:49:10,596 --> 00:49:12,388 Hold on. See what happens. 742 00:49:12,556 --> 00:49:15,760 - [shouting] - [grunts] 743 00:49:19,230 --> 00:49:21,353 - Oh! - Ah! 744 00:49:38,457 --> 00:49:40,663 [all] Oh! 745 00:49:47,340 --> 00:49:50,128 - [man] Take the stick! - [man 2] No, don't take it! 746 00:49:56,933 --> 00:49:59,851 - [man 3] Take the stick! - [man 2] No, don't take it! 747 00:50:01,604 --> 00:50:03,478 Oh, he did it again. 748 00:50:09,028 --> 00:50:11,235 - [man] Take the stick! Take it! - Mm-hm? 749 00:50:11,406 --> 00:50:14,075 - [all shouting] - [man 2] No, no, don't take it! 750 00:50:18,704 --> 00:50:20,364 Whoo! 751 00:50:22,792 --> 00:50:25,081 [man 2] I told him not to take that stick. 752 00:50:33,052 --> 00:50:35,009 [man] Even the Asian! 753 00:50:35,596 --> 00:50:37,589 Where the hell did that guy come from? 754 00:50:37,765 --> 00:50:39,639 - Whoo! - [man] Damn! 755 00:50:39,808 --> 00:50:42,015 - [man 2] That guy's good. - [man 3] All right. 756 00:50:42,186 --> 00:50:44,060 [man 4] Come on, Cleon. 757 00:50:44,229 --> 00:50:46,899 [man 5] It's your time, baby. Don't be scared. 758 00:50:47,066 --> 00:50:49,272 [man 6] It's your time to shine, Cleon. 759 00:50:50,235 --> 00:50:51,516 [all] Ooh! 760 00:50:54,490 --> 00:50:56,529 [Stan] Cleon. 761 00:50:56,700 --> 00:51:00,828 If you wanna fight me, you're gonna have to fight me. 762 00:51:00,996 --> 00:51:04,116 - I understand. - Pick up your gold teeth. 763 00:51:04,291 --> 00:51:07,790 I'm gonna let you keep them this time. 764 00:51:07,961 --> 00:51:10,001 But if you come at me again... 765 00:51:10,630 --> 00:51:13,038 ...I'm gonna hang onto them like a Swiss banker. 766 00:51:28,481 --> 00:51:30,937 [Cleon] Ya'll ain't gonna help me? 767 00:51:31,109 --> 00:51:33,778 I'm missing a bicuspid. 768 00:51:35,238 --> 00:51:37,645 We should have killed him. 769 00:51:37,824 --> 00:51:41,773 [sobbing] Somebody, call an orthodontist. 770 00:51:46,415 --> 00:51:49,950 Hm. I see Mr. Minton has acquainted himself 771 00:51:50,127 --> 00:51:52,334 with his new surroundings. 772 00:51:53,380 --> 00:51:56,334 I believe it's time I had my little chat with him. 773 00:52:01,430 --> 00:52:02,889 Ow! 774 00:52:05,017 --> 00:52:08,635 - [indistinct chatter] - Whoa, whoa, look out. 775 00:52:08,812 --> 00:52:10,852 Beat it. All of you. 776 00:52:21,158 --> 00:52:25,451 Oh, man, this stuff's good. I don't know what everybody's complaining about. 777 00:52:25,620 --> 00:52:27,412 You're kidding me. 778 00:52:27,581 --> 00:52:30,665 Hey, man. I just wanna say thanks. 779 00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:32,991 For what? 780 00:52:34,838 --> 00:52:37,673 You know, for helping me before. 781 00:52:37,841 --> 00:52:39,039 With Big Raymond. 782 00:52:39,217 --> 00:52:42,088 I wasn't helping you. I was helping me. 783 00:52:42,971 --> 00:52:46,968 I had to beat up the biggest shithead. He happened to be talking to you. 784 00:52:47,892 --> 00:52:49,434 OK. 785 00:52:50,561 --> 00:52:53,728 But, you know, I... I mean, I... 786 00:52:53,898 --> 00:52:55,891 I think that guy wanted to fuck me. 787 00:52:59,737 --> 00:53:03,735 Trust me, in your case, I was just putting off the inevitable. 788 00:53:05,201 --> 00:53:09,495 [speaking Spanish] 789 00:53:09,663 --> 00:53:12,949 - [man makes kissing sound] - Yeah. 790 00:53:13,125 --> 00:53:14,536 Well, thanks anyway. 791 00:53:16,378 --> 00:53:19,830 [man] What's your name, girl? Don't be shy, just say hi. 792 00:53:20,716 --> 00:53:23,124 Come here. Kick back, baby girl! 793 00:53:23,302 --> 00:53:26,303 Little hard on the kid, weren't you? 794 00:53:26,472 --> 00:53:29,757 That's got nothing to do with me. And I'm gonna keep it that way. 795 00:53:29,933 --> 00:53:32,175 - You got that? - Mm-hm. 796 00:53:48,201 --> 00:53:50,408 [Bullard] One-one-five! 797 00:53:53,248 --> 00:53:56,664 Minton, warden wants to see you. Get up. 798 00:53:56,835 --> 00:53:59,207 - Me? - Now! Walk! 799 00:54:00,421 --> 00:54:02,129 Put your hands behind your back. 800 00:54:05,635 --> 00:54:08,802 - [knocking on door] - Come in. 801 00:54:13,351 --> 00:54:15,723 Minton, I'm glad you could make it. 802 00:54:15,895 --> 00:54:19,264 - You can take the cuffs off him. - Sure you wanna do that, Boss? 803 00:54:19,440 --> 00:54:21,516 I said take 'em off. 804 00:54:21,692 --> 00:54:24,266 It's all right. 805 00:54:24,445 --> 00:54:25,725 I already got 'em. 806 00:54:27,782 --> 00:54:29,821 It's a matter of dislocating the wrists. 807 00:54:29,992 --> 00:54:31,652 [snaps] 808 00:54:32,745 --> 00:54:34,572 [cracks] 809 00:54:34,747 --> 00:54:38,614 Ew! Ew, that is creepy! 810 00:54:38,792 --> 00:54:42,042 - You can wait outside. - [shudders] 811 00:54:43,088 --> 00:54:44,203 Have a seat. 812 00:54:50,012 --> 00:54:52,847 Warden, if this is about me fighting in the yard, it... 813 00:54:53,015 --> 00:54:54,509 Cigar? 814 00:54:56,309 --> 00:54:57,768 Thank you. 815 00:55:01,523 --> 00:55:02,721 Brandy? 816 00:55:04,442 --> 00:55:06,649 Sure. 817 00:55:16,538 --> 00:55:18,577 You know, you wardens should complain. 818 00:55:18,748 --> 00:55:22,960 'Cause in the movies, they always make you look like assholes. 819 00:55:23,127 --> 00:55:28,204 [laughs] Well, I don't plan on being a warden forever. 820 00:55:28,383 --> 00:55:31,004 - Is that right? - Tell me, Minton. 821 00:55:31,177 --> 00:55:33,549 What do you think of this place? 822 00:55:35,014 --> 00:55:37,422 It's OK, for a prison. 823 00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:41,811 Not the prison. The land. 824 00:55:45,316 --> 00:55:50,191 It's a nice sized property. Great views of the foothills and city. Level grade. 825 00:55:50,362 --> 00:55:53,696 I'm assuming there's bedrock beneath us. 826 00:55:53,866 --> 00:55:58,611 Easy access to downtown. I see some nice development potential. 827 00:55:58,787 --> 00:56:01,954 - Too bad you got a prison on it. - Exactly. 828 00:56:02,124 --> 00:56:06,453 You know, it's no accident you came to Oaksburg. 829 00:56:06,628 --> 00:56:09,499 I pulled a few strings to get you here. 830 00:56:12,592 --> 00:56:14,252 What made you wanna do that? 831 00:56:16,638 --> 00:56:18,097 Come here. 832 00:56:21,977 --> 00:56:25,096 Oaksburg Estates. 833 00:56:25,272 --> 00:56:29,684 I'm a silent partner, so to speak, with some private investors 834 00:56:29,859 --> 00:56:35,150 who would like to develop this land into timeshare condominiums. 835 00:56:35,323 --> 00:56:39,190 I believe that's your field of expertise. 836 00:56:39,369 --> 00:56:42,785 - True. - 'Course, all this is only possible 837 00:56:42,956 --> 00:56:45,743 in the event the prison ever closes down. 838 00:56:45,917 --> 00:56:49,582 - Makes sense. - You know, I'm in the prison business. 839 00:56:49,754 --> 00:56:52,423 I know how to break a man's will, crush his spirit. 840 00:56:52,590 --> 00:56:56,801 But them real estate contracts, those things put a real hurt on you. 841 00:56:56,969 --> 00:56:58,511 That's where you come in. 842 00:57:03,267 --> 00:57:06,221 - What's in it for me? - How would you like to be out of here 843 00:57:06,395 --> 00:57:07,426 in a year? 844 00:57:09,648 --> 00:57:13,978 - But I've got a mandatory minimum. - Wardens have great discretion 845 00:57:14,153 --> 00:57:18,980 getting early parole, especially to non-violent, first-time offenders. 846 00:57:19,158 --> 00:57:23,819 - Prisons are crowded, you know. - The system is corrupt. 847 00:57:23,996 --> 00:57:25,241 Me likey. 848 00:57:25,414 --> 00:57:28,996 But you gotta move the luxury units closer to the lagoon. 849 00:57:29,167 --> 00:57:31,837 That'll double rents. Parking goes underground. 850 00:57:32,004 --> 00:57:35,419 Wasting space. Eight extra units. Whoever designed this is a moron. 851 00:57:35,590 --> 00:57:38,591 - How will you get rid of the prison? - Let me worry about that. 852 00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:41,085 Tell me more about them parking spaces. 853 00:57:46,434 --> 00:57:50,728 [Stan singing in Spanish] 854 00:58:06,662 --> 00:58:09,035 You strapped? 855 00:58:09,207 --> 00:58:11,579 He ain't gonna know what hit him, nah mean? 856 00:58:24,013 --> 00:58:25,044 Ah! 857 00:58:27,933 --> 00:58:30,258 That's gonna scar, you psycho. 858 00:58:35,357 --> 00:58:37,397 - Whoo! - [grunts] 859 00:58:48,161 --> 00:58:50,119 You want that shiv, don't you? 860 00:58:51,790 --> 00:58:54,660 You made that with a melted toothbrush and a razorblade? 861 00:58:54,835 --> 00:58:56,578 - That's very creative. - Ah! 862 00:59:02,759 --> 00:59:06,009 Look what I made with three bars of soap and a shoelace. 863 00:59:07,263 --> 00:59:09,173 [chuckles] Cracker, please. 864 00:59:09,349 --> 00:59:12,800 Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! 865 00:59:16,522 --> 00:59:18,182 [high-pitched warbling] 866 00:59:19,984 --> 00:59:22,143 [high-pitched warbling] 867 00:59:26,908 --> 00:59:28,900 Come on, race traitor. 868 00:59:31,579 --> 00:59:33,737 - Ah! - Ooh! 869 00:59:35,958 --> 00:59:38,330 [high-pitched warbling] 870 00:59:40,337 --> 00:59:41,962 Oh! 871 00:59:42,673 --> 00:59:45,378 - [neck cracks] - Ha! 872 00:59:45,551 --> 00:59:47,709 Hee-yah! 873 00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:51,304 He's all yours. 874 00:59:53,267 --> 00:59:54,891 This gonna be fun. 875 00:59:55,144 --> 00:59:57,432 [all shouting] 876 01:00:04,695 --> 01:00:08,562 Hey, Stan. What'd you do to Patterson? 877 01:00:08,740 --> 01:00:11,112 I just roughed him up a little bit. 878 01:00:11,284 --> 01:00:15,033 - Why? - Somebody took a shiv to his ass. 879 01:00:15,205 --> 01:00:19,914 They say he'll be shitting sideways for a month. [laughs] 880 01:00:20,085 --> 01:00:22,920 Now I know what schadenfreude feels like. 881 01:00:23,088 --> 01:00:24,961 - What? - Schadenfreude. 882 01:00:25,131 --> 01:00:28,880 It's German for when you feel good because your enemy's anus is violated. 883 01:00:29,052 --> 01:00:31,009 Oh. 884 01:00:35,099 --> 01:00:36,891 You know you're getting that on me. 885 01:00:40,897 --> 01:00:43,814 [Stan on phone] I'm doing great. You guys are pussies. 886 01:00:43,983 --> 01:00:48,444 That's terrific. Hey, listen, pal. I need your help. 887 01:00:48,613 --> 01:00:51,863 I can't get Mindy's lawyer to return my call. 888 01:00:52,033 --> 01:00:54,440 If we wanna go through with this divorce, 889 01:00:54,618 --> 01:00:57,987 you're going to have to contact her personally. 890 01:00:58,914 --> 01:01:00,195 Stan. 891 01:01:00,374 --> 01:01:02,034 Yeah. I'll get right on that. 892 01:01:02,209 --> 01:01:05,625 - How's the appeal coming? - [laughs] 893 01:01:05,796 --> 01:01:10,754 Believe it or not, I'm looking at the Madam Foreman right now. 894 01:01:10,926 --> 01:01:12,717 - [laughs] - That's great. 895 01:01:12,886 --> 01:01:18,307 [stammering] I gotta go now. You know, duty calls. 896 01:01:18,475 --> 01:01:20,764 All right. Thanks, Lew. I'll talk to you soon. 897 01:01:23,188 --> 01:01:25,809 [grunting, farting] 898 01:01:29,611 --> 01:01:32,980 Ain't you Charlize Theron? 899 01:01:34,491 --> 01:01:37,575 Oh, look what fell out there. 900 01:01:43,833 --> 01:01:47,368 [laughing] So I had them exchange the beef for horse meat. 901 01:01:47,545 --> 01:01:50,582 - Clever. - That's Stan. 902 01:01:50,757 --> 01:01:53,164 Minton, I'd like for you to meet Mr. Dang. 903 01:01:53,343 --> 01:01:55,382 He's on the prison's board of governors. 904 01:01:55,553 --> 01:01:59,598 They let Vietnamese mafia on the prison board of governors? 905 01:02:01,392 --> 01:02:02,555 Your finger tats. 906 01:02:03,936 --> 01:02:09,560 [laughs] Like you say, Stan, the system is corrupt. 907 01:02:09,734 --> 01:02:13,897 Mr. Dang's family happens to be my partners in Oaksburg Estates. 908 01:02:14,071 --> 01:02:16,823 Oh, good, 'cause I was just going over the contracts. 909 01:02:16,991 --> 01:02:20,110 The language gets rather vague on gross versus net liability. 910 01:02:20,286 --> 01:02:23,785 I'm sure it's unintentional, but that could screw you in the long run. 911 01:02:23,956 --> 01:02:28,950 Could it? I'll have my lawyers correct that immediately. 912 01:02:29,128 --> 01:02:32,579 I got an excellent lawyer for that. He specialises in it. Lew Popper. 913 01:02:32,756 --> 01:02:36,207 Popper? I'll be sure to contact him. 914 01:02:36,385 --> 01:02:40,252 [laughs] Come on, Dang, let's check out the floor show. 915 01:02:44,142 --> 01:02:45,850 [shouting] 916 01:02:46,019 --> 01:02:49,554 It looks like the savages are ready for the inspection. 917 01:02:49,731 --> 01:02:54,440 [Gasque] Well, give me a few more weeks. I'll even have 'em readier. 918 01:02:54,611 --> 01:02:56,568 [Dang] I'm counting on that. 919 01:02:58,031 --> 01:03:00,237 Would you like a strawberry? 920 01:03:01,576 --> 01:03:04,779 - I grew them in my own garden. - Thank you. 921 01:03:04,954 --> 01:03:07,445 Minton? Strawberry? 922 01:03:08,541 --> 01:03:09,656 No, I'm good. 923 01:03:15,548 --> 01:03:18,668 [Gasque] Maybe I picked 'em a little too soon. 924 01:03:20,636 --> 01:03:22,593 I don't think that's it. 925 01:03:24,015 --> 01:03:26,588 [Stan on phone] People are scared shitless of me. 926 01:03:26,767 --> 01:03:28,096 Very good, Stan. 927 01:03:28,269 --> 01:03:30,558 Is there anyone there who can challenge you? 928 01:03:30,730 --> 01:03:33,434 Nah. I got it all under control. 929 01:03:33,607 --> 01:03:35,766 What's the matter, Stan? 930 01:03:35,943 --> 01:03:39,146 You sound... distant. 931 01:03:39,321 --> 01:03:41,029 I don't know. It's just... 932 01:03:41,198 --> 01:03:44,899 Don't you ever find yourself feeling sorry for anybody? 933 01:03:45,077 --> 01:03:48,742 You might as well ask me if I feel sorry for the maggots 934 01:03:48,914 --> 01:03:50,788 I grind into my morning coffee. 935 01:03:50,958 --> 01:03:54,492 [laughs] That's how I feel too. Listen, I gotta go. 936 01:03:54,670 --> 01:03:57,540 Make me proud, Stan. 937 01:03:57,714 --> 01:04:00,384 [woman] Come on, baby! Do it to me! 938 01:04:00,550 --> 01:04:02,876 - [Popper] Oh, yeah! - [woman] Are you using me? 939 01:04:03,053 --> 01:04:05,259 - [Popper] No! - [woman] Don't you love me? 940 01:04:05,430 --> 01:04:07,506 - [Popper] Yeah! - [woman] Show me! 941 01:04:07,682 --> 01:04:11,051 - [phone rings] - [shouting] 942 01:04:14,731 --> 01:04:17,767 - Do you love me? - Yeah. Hello. Hey! 943 01:04:17,942 --> 01:04:20,860 Excuse me. Excuse me. Yeah. 944 01:04:21,029 --> 01:04:23,864 Hi, Stan. Yeah. I think I have good news. 945 01:04:24,032 --> 01:04:27,981 - [woman] Do you love me? - Yeah. I think the... I think the... 946 01:04:28,161 --> 01:04:33,582 The Madam Foreman is just one orgasm away from giving you your appeal. 947 01:04:33,750 --> 01:04:36,537 [Stan] That's great, Lew. And gross. 948 01:04:36,711 --> 01:04:38,750 Heard from Mindy or her attorney? 949 01:04:38,921 --> 01:04:40,997 Uh, no. 950 01:04:41,174 --> 01:04:45,005 But don't say I don't earn my money. [laughs] 951 01:04:50,558 --> 01:04:54,390 Hi, fellas. I don't believe I ordered Chinese. 952 01:04:57,940 --> 01:05:01,558 I guess I could go for a little pot-sticker. 953 01:05:06,448 --> 01:05:08,240 [Shorts] Who are you writing to? 954 01:05:08,409 --> 01:05:10,734 No one special. 955 01:05:12,037 --> 01:05:15,371 You've been sitting there for a while writing to no one special. 956 01:05:17,584 --> 01:05:22,626 You know, Stan, I've been here for a long time. I can handle a lot of things. 957 01:05:22,798 --> 01:05:26,498 Like having to spend the rest of my life in this shithole. 958 01:05:26,676 --> 01:05:29,926 But there's one thing I do regret. 959 01:05:30,096 --> 01:05:33,596 I could never make it work with Miyoshi. 960 01:05:33,767 --> 01:05:39,769 Oh, she was the only person who ever loved me for me. 961 01:05:41,733 --> 01:05:44,817 I was too pigheaded to realise it. 962 01:05:44,986 --> 01:05:50,325 [sighs] I'd give anything to change the way I behaved. 963 01:05:51,159 --> 01:05:52,950 How did you behave? 964 01:05:54,078 --> 01:05:55,241 I killed her. 965 01:05:56,914 --> 01:05:58,243 Oh. 966 01:05:58,416 --> 01:06:03,243 Alcohol wasn't something that always brought out the best in me, Stan. 967 01:06:23,399 --> 01:06:27,479 [Stan] Dear Mindy, I've been thinking a lot about you lately. 968 01:06:27,653 --> 01:06:29,444 About us. 969 01:06:29,613 --> 01:06:31,771 I realise now that you were right. 970 01:06:31,949 --> 01:06:35,318 I was pigheaded and selfish. 971 01:06:35,494 --> 01:06:39,076 Leaving me was probably the best thing for you. 972 01:06:39,247 --> 01:06:41,240 And I'm truly sorry. 973 01:06:41,416 --> 01:06:44,121 I never should have hurt you. 974 01:06:44,294 --> 01:06:47,330 I know now why you wanted to have a baby with me. 975 01:06:47,505 --> 01:06:49,794 It's just another way for us to love each other 976 01:06:49,966 --> 01:06:52,718 even more deeply. 977 01:06:52,886 --> 01:06:56,420 I hope, someday, you'll be able to forgive me. 978 01:06:56,598 --> 01:06:59,515 Love always, Stan. 979 01:07:04,939 --> 01:07:06,647 [The Master] Hey, baby. 980 01:07:15,366 --> 01:07:19,364 Now, I know all of you want to get back to your weightlifting and basketball 981 01:07:19,537 --> 01:07:22,988 and masturbating, so I'm gonna try to keep this short. All right? 982 01:07:23,165 --> 01:07:28,670 I am throwing away all of these violent video games and movies. 983 01:07:28,838 --> 01:07:30,462 [all groaning] 984 01:07:30,631 --> 01:07:33,087 Don't do that! No! Come on, man! 985 01:07:33,259 --> 01:07:36,793 From now on, I want you guys watching more wholesome entertainment. 986 01:07:36,971 --> 01:07:40,470 And frankly, a lot of the rap music you brothers listen to 987 01:07:40,641 --> 01:07:43,096 - was too hateful towards women. - [all laughing] 988 01:07:43,268 --> 01:07:46,353 What is up with that? You like women, right? 989 01:07:46,522 --> 01:07:47,720 [all] Yeah! 990 01:07:47,898 --> 01:07:49,641 Now, on the other hand, 991 01:07:49,816 --> 01:07:53,020 the Mexicans are onto something with mariachi and salsa music. 992 01:07:53,195 --> 01:07:55,401 [cheering] 993 01:07:56,948 --> 01:08:00,282 It's positive, easy to dance to and you never get tired of it. 994 01:08:00,452 --> 01:08:03,322 - Shorts, give us a taste. - Here we go. 995 01:08:03,497 --> 01:08:08,289 [salsa music plays] 996 01:08:08,460 --> 01:08:10,536 [man singing in Spanish] 997 01:08:12,839 --> 01:08:14,630 [cheering, whistling] 998 01:08:18,470 --> 01:08:19,964 [cheering] 999 01:08:38,948 --> 01:08:40,572 Holy shit. 1000 01:08:42,743 --> 01:08:45,744 - All right. All right, all right. - [music stops] 1001 01:08:45,913 --> 01:08:49,448 That's Afro-Cuban. I asked for mariachi. But you get the point. 1002 01:08:49,625 --> 01:08:52,828 All right? Now, lastly, and most importantly, 1003 01:08:53,003 --> 01:08:55,921 from now on, there will be no more rape at this prison. 1004 01:08:56,090 --> 01:08:58,628 - [all shouting] - No, no! 1005 01:08:58,801 --> 01:09:02,170 That's right. Anyone who rapes another inmate 1006 01:09:02,346 --> 01:09:05,216 - will have to answer to me. - [man] Boo! 1007 01:09:05,390 --> 01:09:07,098 [Stan] I will not be kind. 1008 01:09:07,267 --> 01:09:10,138 - Excuse me, Big Stan. - Yes, Juanito. 1009 01:09:10,312 --> 01:09:12,767 Why you putting your nose where it don't belong? 1010 01:09:12,939 --> 01:09:15,181 My men are aggressive and hard. 1011 01:09:15,359 --> 01:09:19,226 Sometimes they need a way to work off that excess energy. What's it to you? 1012 01:09:19,404 --> 01:09:22,405 - OK. Well, first off, good question. - Thank you. 1013 01:09:22,574 --> 01:09:26,785 What is it to me? Well, frankly, I just don't like it. 1014 01:09:26,953 --> 01:09:30,821 And let me show you why. Robbie, come up here. 1015 01:09:30,999 --> 01:09:32,873 You, Robbie the hippie. Come up here. 1016 01:09:33,042 --> 01:09:35,368 [all whistling] 1017 01:09:37,755 --> 01:09:41,670 All right, all right. Robbie, how long is your sentence here at Oaksburg? 1018 01:09:41,843 --> 01:09:45,757 - Five to ten. - Five to ten years. 1019 01:09:45,930 --> 01:09:48,801 What exactly did you do to earn that sentence? 1020 01:09:48,975 --> 01:09:52,474 - I sold marijuana. - [laughter] 1021 01:09:52,645 --> 01:09:56,310 - A shitload of marijuana. - [cheering] 1022 01:09:58,526 --> 01:10:00,684 Thanks, Robbie. Go sit down. 1023 01:10:00,861 --> 01:10:04,396 He sold marijuana. He was a marijuana dealer. 1024 01:10:04,573 --> 01:10:08,488 I'm not here to argue about drug policy. I don't think they're tough enough. 1025 01:10:08,661 --> 01:10:12,361 - [protesting] - Whatever. 1026 01:10:12,539 --> 01:10:15,908 But just because Robbie was guilty of selling dope 1027 01:10:16,085 --> 01:10:21,079 doesn't mean he deserves to get raped up the ass every day for ten years. 1028 01:10:21,256 --> 01:10:23,498 I just don't think that's fair. 1029 01:10:23,675 --> 01:10:26,712 - [murmuring] - Some of you are here 1030 01:10:26,887 --> 01:10:32,842 because you're habitual drunk drivers. Some of you have a fondness for crack. 1031 01:10:33,018 --> 01:10:36,184 - [laughing, murmuring] - Some of you robbed a bank. 1032 01:10:36,354 --> 01:10:40,019 - I'm talking to you, Lee Otis. - [laughing] 1033 01:10:42,360 --> 01:10:46,192 But that doesn't mean you should get raped. It's just not fair. 1034 01:10:47,866 --> 01:10:51,365 - Yes, Carnahan. - What about guys convicted of rape? 1035 01:10:51,536 --> 01:10:54,869 - Can we rape them? - [all] Yeah! 1036 01:10:55,039 --> 01:10:57,115 Rape the rapists. Seems appropriate. 1037 01:10:57,292 --> 01:10:59,830 Punishment fitting the crime and all. Go ahead. 1038 01:11:00,003 --> 01:11:02,873 - [cheering] - [man] That's what I'm talkin' about. 1039 01:11:03,047 --> 01:11:07,626 - How about them child molesters? - [all] Yeah! 1040 01:11:07,802 --> 01:11:10,174 Yeah, them too. Good point. Anyone else? 1041 01:11:10,346 --> 01:11:12,837 [cheering] 1042 01:11:15,518 --> 01:11:16,716 [Big Raymond] Big Stan! 1043 01:11:16,894 --> 01:11:21,223 - What about the counterfeiters? - [all] What? 1044 01:11:21,399 --> 01:11:25,728 Counterfeiters? Big Raymond, you're the only counterfeiter here. 1045 01:11:25,903 --> 01:11:28,738 [man] Yeah! 1046 01:11:28,906 --> 01:11:32,073 Wait a minute. Do you just want somebody to... 1047 01:11:32,242 --> 01:11:34,615 [all] Aw! 1048 01:11:34,787 --> 01:11:36,945 OK, here's another thing we gotta clear up. 1049 01:11:37,122 --> 01:11:40,242 There's a difference between homosexual sex and rape. 1050 01:11:40,417 --> 01:11:44,000 - Now, Big Raymond. - Hm? 1051 01:11:44,171 --> 01:11:47,006 There's someone here who wants to have sex with you. 1052 01:11:47,174 --> 01:11:49,665 - [man] Not me! - OK? How about it, anyone? 1053 01:11:51,678 --> 01:11:54,762 Yeah. Yeah. 1054 01:11:54,931 --> 01:11:57,339 [laughter] 1055 01:11:59,186 --> 01:12:01,095 Tyler! 1056 01:12:01,271 --> 01:12:05,814 - Great! - Man! [giggles] 1057 01:12:15,326 --> 01:12:18,446 You two have fun. But wear protection. 1058 01:12:18,621 --> 01:12:20,614 - [cheering] - [Big Raymond] OK. 1059 01:12:20,790 --> 01:12:25,499 All right, grow up. Look, if you've got a problem with that, then that's... 1060 01:12:25,670 --> 01:12:27,995 [farting, groaning] 1061 01:12:29,423 --> 01:12:30,882 Nurse! 1062 01:12:32,301 --> 01:12:33,961 [farts] 1063 01:12:35,972 --> 01:12:37,003 [farts] 1064 01:12:37,181 --> 01:12:41,048 Now, those two are about to have consensual homosexual sex. 1065 01:12:41,227 --> 01:12:44,228 A beautiful, beautiful thing. The total opposite of rape, 1066 01:12:44,396 --> 01:12:47,600 - which is not allowed. - Except for rapists and molesters? 1067 01:12:47,775 --> 01:12:49,981 - We can still rape them. - No, you can't. 1068 01:12:50,152 --> 01:12:53,568 - [all] What? - I changed my mind. 1069 01:12:53,739 --> 01:12:55,316 Bad habit. Quit cold turkey. 1070 01:12:55,491 --> 01:12:58,906 - [all yelling] - If you're not happy with it, 1071 01:12:59,077 --> 01:13:02,826 - you're welcome to fight me. - [groaning] 1072 01:13:03,749 --> 01:13:06,322 I didn't think so. All right, you're dismissed. 1073 01:13:06,501 --> 01:13:08,708 Beat it. 1074 01:13:10,130 --> 01:13:12,621 - Good speech. - You think? 1075 01:13:12,799 --> 01:13:15,717 - I should have opened with a joke. - No, it was good. 1076 01:13:15,886 --> 01:13:19,171 - Yeah? - Yeah. Sorry about the mariachi. 1077 01:13:19,347 --> 01:13:20,545 Let it go. 1078 01:13:22,559 --> 01:13:26,971 Hey, Big Stan. Check out the lovebirds. 1079 01:13:29,566 --> 01:13:32,483 - One for you! - [giggles] 1080 01:13:32,652 --> 01:13:35,569 Mm! One for you. 1081 01:13:36,739 --> 01:13:37,937 Good for them. 1082 01:13:39,575 --> 01:13:41,817 I have something important to show you. 1083 01:13:41,994 --> 01:13:43,157 Let me eat, will you? 1084 01:13:43,329 --> 01:13:44,574 Hey, Big Stan. 1085 01:13:46,624 --> 01:13:50,040 - Can we talk? - Make it quick. 1086 01:13:50,211 --> 01:13:52,417 I wanna thank you for what you did out there. 1087 01:13:52,588 --> 01:13:55,957 - I didn't do anything... - Don't say you didn't do it for me. 1088 01:13:56,133 --> 01:13:59,300 Because you did, didn't you? 1089 01:14:00,638 --> 01:14:03,841 - A little. - Well, thanks. 1090 01:14:04,016 --> 01:14:07,432 - Yeah. Thanks, man. - [Juanito] Julio! 1091 01:14:07,603 --> 01:14:10,308 Get back here! What's up with you? [speaks Spanish] 1092 01:14:10,481 --> 01:14:11,595 Shut up! 1093 01:14:13,025 --> 01:14:14,602 [speaking Spanish] 1094 01:14:14,777 --> 01:14:17,861 Hey, Big Stan. I like what you said. 1095 01:14:18,030 --> 01:14:19,440 I wanna join your gang. 1096 01:14:21,450 --> 01:14:25,150 - I don't have a gang. - Yes, you do. 1097 01:14:29,583 --> 01:14:30,781 OK, you're in. 1098 01:14:33,211 --> 01:14:36,829 [man clears throat] Me too? 1099 01:14:41,845 --> 01:14:46,341 - Yeah, you too. - [giggling] 1100 01:14:49,060 --> 01:14:51,931 - All of you. - Thanks. 1101 01:14:53,189 --> 01:14:56,523 - [laughing] - Yeah! Ow! 1102 01:14:56,693 --> 01:14:59,100 All right, can I eat now? 1103 01:15:01,697 --> 01:15:04,901 - [Big Raymond] Yes, you did! - He's gotta eat. 1104 01:15:08,704 --> 01:15:11,374 I told you I had something important to show you. 1105 01:15:17,713 --> 01:15:18,828 From Mindy. 1106 01:15:28,057 --> 01:15:29,467 She wants to see me. 1107 01:15:33,353 --> 01:15:35,560 [laughs] 1108 01:15:37,065 --> 01:15:38,809 Hoo-hoo-hoo! 1109 01:15:38,984 --> 01:15:41,356 [โ™ช Los Niรฑos de Sara: La Cubanita] 1110 01:15:48,410 --> 01:15:52,075 [shouting, laughing] 1111 01:15:53,164 --> 01:15:54,659 Shake hands. 1112 01:15:58,169 --> 01:16:00,245 Try to get along, huh? 1113 01:16:04,300 --> 01:16:07,669 [speaking Spanish] 1114 01:16:08,513 --> 01:16:09,972 Thanks. 1115 01:16:22,318 --> 01:16:25,438 - Excuse me, man. - No, that was my bad. 1116 01:16:25,613 --> 01:16:28,234 No, really. It was my fault. 1117 01:16:28,407 --> 01:16:31,574 There's a pickup game of hoops later, if you wanna play. 1118 01:16:31,744 --> 01:16:32,823 I'd like that. 1119 01:16:36,373 --> 01:16:38,366 [cheering] 1120 01:17:13,743 --> 01:17:17,408 - Happy birthday. - Ah! Thank you! 1121 01:17:17,580 --> 01:17:20,332 - Oh, look, a shiv! - Yeah! 1122 01:17:20,500 --> 01:17:21,994 - Hey, homes. - Mm! Mm! 1123 01:17:22,168 --> 01:17:24,659 - Hey. - Hey! 1124 01:17:35,556 --> 01:17:37,216 [horn squawks] 1125 01:17:55,910 --> 01:17:58,033 Stanley! Honey bear! 1126 01:17:58,204 --> 01:18:00,492 I loved your letter! 1127 01:18:00,664 --> 01:18:03,499 - [Mindy laughs] - I missed you so much. 1128 01:18:03,667 --> 01:18:07,712 Before we go any further, there's three little words I need to hear. 1129 01:18:07,880 --> 01:18:10,834 - I was wrong? - Good boy! 1130 01:18:13,760 --> 01:18:16,761 It looks like a nursery school picnic out there. 1131 01:18:16,930 --> 01:18:18,472 It's Minton. 1132 01:18:19,683 --> 01:18:23,894 - What do you mean, it's Minton? - Well, first he banned rape. 1133 01:18:24,062 --> 01:18:26,351 It's to the point that anybody gets beat up, 1134 01:18:26,523 --> 01:18:29,773 they run and join Minton's gang and Minton beats up the bad guy. 1135 01:18:29,943 --> 01:18:33,146 The truth, he's got them too scared to look at each other funny. 1136 01:18:33,321 --> 01:18:37,070 - We ain't had a fight in three days. - I thought I saw Ingleberg fight 1137 01:18:37,242 --> 01:18:40,361 that big Mexican yesterday, Jesus. 1138 01:18:40,537 --> 01:18:44,321 Oh, no, that was more in the nature of a lovers' quarrel. 1139 01:18:44,499 --> 01:18:46,906 Ingleberg forgot their two-week anniversary. 1140 01:18:47,085 --> 01:18:49,789 That wasn't very nice of him, was it? 1141 01:18:49,963 --> 01:18:54,043 Well, they made up. You should have seen the cake Ingleberg made. 1142 01:18:54,217 --> 01:18:56,708 - It was special... - You get out of here right now 1143 01:18:56,886 --> 01:19:00,504 and get Minton up here! You understand me? I mean right now! 1144 01:19:00,681 --> 01:19:03,848 - Now hurry! - [door closes] 1145 01:19:05,478 --> 01:19:09,345 I'm not just saying this, but I think that was the most amazing sex 1146 01:19:09,523 --> 01:19:12,275 - we've ever had. - [giggles] 1147 01:19:12,443 --> 01:19:15,194 I guess being away from me this long made you crazy. 1148 01:19:15,362 --> 01:19:19,490 Well, yes, I guess. The Master's opened my eyes, sexually. 1149 01:19:19,658 --> 01:19:23,027 He showed me all these different positions in the Kama Sutra. 1150 01:19:23,203 --> 01:19:26,655 - The Master? You been seeing him? - Yeah, he's staying at the house. 1151 01:19:26,832 --> 01:19:29,952 I've learned about massage and strengthening my Kegels. 1152 01:19:30,127 --> 01:19:33,293 - [knocking on door] - That sleazy son of a bitch! 1153 01:19:33,463 --> 01:19:35,789 - [Bullard] Minton, time's up. - But Stan, I... 1154 01:19:35,966 --> 01:19:39,833 - Warden wants to see you now! - Wait. I don't want you to see him. 1155 01:19:40,011 --> 01:19:44,424 You tell Master Dickface I'm gonna get out of here soon and kick his ass! 1156 01:19:44,599 --> 01:19:46,971 Don't tell him. You're not allowed to see him. 1157 01:19:47,143 --> 01:19:49,266 I said now, convict! 1158 01:19:49,437 --> 01:19:51,145 - Minton! - Not allowed to see him! 1159 01:19:51,314 --> 01:19:53,521 - I love you, sweetie-cakes! - Let's go. 1160 01:19:53,692 --> 01:19:55,316 Cocksucker! 1161 01:20:04,827 --> 01:20:07,532 [Gasque] I'll bet you didn't know I was part psychic. 1162 01:20:09,582 --> 01:20:14,043 That's right. I'm able to see into the future. 1163 01:20:15,671 --> 01:20:18,756 - I didn't realise. - Let me tell you what's going to happen 1164 01:20:18,925 --> 01:20:21,166 one week from today. 1165 01:20:24,096 --> 01:20:27,430 The board of governors is gonna come to inspect the prison. 1166 01:20:27,600 --> 01:20:31,728 And something awful happens. 1167 01:20:31,896 --> 01:20:36,308 Some prisoners find a way to smuggle weapons into the yard. 1168 01:20:36,483 --> 01:20:39,105 And a full-scale riot breaks out. 1169 01:20:39,278 --> 01:20:43,441 And as the prison board watches in absolute horror, 1170 01:20:43,615 --> 01:20:47,743 my men are forced to shoot into the yard in order 1171 01:20:47,911 --> 01:20:50,912 to end the melee. 1172 01:20:51,081 --> 01:20:56,158 In the ensuing scandal, the Board chooses to sell the property 1173 01:20:56,336 --> 01:20:59,752 to a Vietnamese family 1174 01:20:59,923 --> 01:21:02,675 based in San Pedro. 1175 01:21:02,843 --> 01:21:06,128 And everybody lives happily ever after. 1176 01:21:07,222 --> 01:21:08,882 Especially me. 1177 01:21:09,057 --> 01:21:13,351 Now, if the events that I foretold 1178 01:21:13,520 --> 01:21:15,975 do not come to fruition... 1179 01:21:17,732 --> 01:21:21,018 ...I will be very disappointed. 1180 01:21:28,493 --> 01:21:30,569 And when I get disappointed, 1181 01:21:30,745 --> 01:21:32,951 Mr. Deng over there 1182 01:21:33,122 --> 01:21:37,867 likes to stomp on men's spines like they was bubble wrap. 1183 01:21:51,807 --> 01:21:56,386 I spent 35 years of my life 1184 01:21:56,562 --> 01:22:00,096 in this stinking cesspool. 1185 01:22:00,274 --> 01:22:04,852 And I will not walk away without something to show for it. 1186 01:22:06,155 --> 01:22:09,191 Your little prison reform ends right now. 1187 01:22:10,158 --> 01:22:14,452 You play ball, you might get yourself a parole hearing. 1188 01:22:14,621 --> 01:22:17,326 How many will get killed? 1189 01:22:17,499 --> 01:22:22,493 Who cares? They're all animals. 1190 01:22:24,631 --> 01:22:26,042 Bullard! 1191 01:22:28,385 --> 01:22:32,881 - Escort Mr. Minton back to his cell. - Yes, sir. Come on, Minton. 1192 01:22:38,520 --> 01:22:41,770 Stan, you ever have two Asian men pounding your balls 1193 01:22:41,940 --> 01:22:44,810 after sex with a questionably attractive older woman? 1194 01:22:44,984 --> 01:22:47,309 No, I can't say I have, Lew. 1195 01:22:47,487 --> 01:22:51,354 Madam Foreman won't return any of my calls. 1196 01:22:51,532 --> 01:22:54,652 You better go for that deal the warden offered you. 1197 01:22:54,827 --> 01:22:59,619 - So there's nothing else I can do? - I'm sorry, pal. It's over. 1198 01:22:59,790 --> 01:23:02,079 You're in real danger. 1199 01:23:02,251 --> 01:23:05,003 Get yourself out of there as soon as you can. 1200 01:23:14,305 --> 01:23:16,546 [giggling] 1201 01:23:24,898 --> 01:23:27,436 [gasps] 1202 01:23:32,906 --> 01:23:34,614 Bullard. 1203 01:23:35,992 --> 01:23:37,819 Tell the warden I'll take his deal. 1204 01:23:39,371 --> 01:23:40,948 I want out of here. 1205 01:23:44,709 --> 01:23:48,577 - [salsa music plays] - [shouting] 1206 01:23:48,755 --> 01:23:52,420 Hey, Stan. The Nazis were saying the Virgin Mary tortilla's a fake. 1207 01:23:52,592 --> 01:23:55,593 - That's not cool, homes. - Hey, the Nazis were saying 1208 01:23:55,762 --> 01:23:57,422 the Virgin Mary has no power. 1209 01:23:57,597 --> 01:24:00,717 Constantine was pacifying the Byzantine priest by giving him 1210 01:24:00,892 --> 01:24:04,592 a goddess to pray to. They've been watching the History Channel. 1211 01:24:04,771 --> 01:24:08,056 - What? - What are you gonna do about it? 1212 01:24:08,232 --> 01:24:10,984 I'm not gonna do anything about it. 1213 01:24:13,404 --> 01:24:14,732 What's up with him, man? 1214 01:24:14,905 --> 01:24:17,906 Hey, Stan. Stan! 1215 01:24:18,492 --> 01:24:22,027 The Brazilians won't stop calling Farib an Arab. 1216 01:24:22,204 --> 01:24:25,075 I'm not an Arab! I'm Persian. 1217 01:24:25,249 --> 01:24:28,452 What do I care? You look like an Arab. 1218 01:24:29,503 --> 01:24:32,255 Hey, listen up! All of you! 1219 01:24:33,841 --> 01:24:36,877 You're all on your own! You hear me? 1220 01:24:37,052 --> 01:24:39,543 I don't care what any of you do to each other! 1221 01:24:39,721 --> 01:24:42,295 Hey, you guys! 1222 01:24:43,767 --> 01:24:45,392 An interracial book club. 1223 01:24:47,396 --> 01:24:50,599 You guys all hate each other. So stop pretending you don't. 1224 01:24:50,774 --> 01:24:54,439 - You don't know about Macbeth. - Fuck you, motherfucker! 1225 01:24:54,611 --> 01:24:56,817 [shouting] 1226 01:25:17,050 --> 01:25:20,419 Yeah, that's more like it. Yes, sir. 1227 01:25:37,987 --> 01:25:39,398 Big Stan? 1228 01:25:41,907 --> 01:25:43,449 We need to talk. 1229 01:26:00,425 --> 01:26:02,133 I thought you cared about us. 1230 01:26:04,471 --> 01:26:05,846 Well, I don't. 1231 01:26:13,355 --> 01:26:15,893 [Patterson] Hey, little cracker. 1232 01:26:17,442 --> 01:26:21,226 Why don't you sit over here, my little white brother. 1233 01:26:35,460 --> 01:26:37,251 Here, have mine. 1234 01:26:38,254 --> 01:26:40,460 I'm gonna need to shave your head. 1235 01:26:40,631 --> 01:26:44,296 Put a couple little tattoos on your forehead, huh? 1236 01:26:45,303 --> 01:26:46,713 Come on, eat up. 1237 01:26:50,600 --> 01:26:52,888 I was wrong about you. 1238 01:26:53,060 --> 01:26:54,969 We all were. 1239 01:26:56,647 --> 01:27:00,063 Stay out of the yard tomorrow. You hear me? 1240 01:27:06,782 --> 01:27:10,614 D-block houses some of our most hardened offenders. 1241 01:27:10,786 --> 01:27:15,412 But here, we have Oaksburg's greatest rehabilitation story. 1242 01:27:15,582 --> 01:27:20,244 Stan Minton. Stan, I'd like for you to meet the board of governors. 1243 01:27:21,630 --> 01:27:24,251 Not going in the yard today, Stan? 1244 01:27:24,424 --> 01:27:27,710 - I don't feel well, warden. - Maybe this will make you feel better. 1245 01:27:27,886 --> 01:27:31,800 Due to Stan's exemplary behaviour, the parole board has agreed 1246 01:27:31,973 --> 01:27:34,381 to meet with him today. 1247 01:27:35,143 --> 01:27:37,716 Well, we better be moving along. 1248 01:27:43,193 --> 01:27:46,277 The shit goes down at 12.30. 1249 01:27:46,446 --> 01:27:50,823 At 12.35, I'm in the real estate business. 1250 01:28:00,460 --> 01:28:04,125 [muted dialogue] 1251 01:28:16,642 --> 01:28:19,133 [laughter] 1252 01:28:23,816 --> 01:28:25,974 Stan! Honey! 1253 01:28:29,446 --> 01:28:31,403 - I'll deal with you in a minute. - Everything OK? 1254 01:28:31,573 --> 01:28:33,068 Both of you. 1255 01:28:37,454 --> 01:28:40,408 [woman] Next up is prisoner 5824. 1256 01:28:41,124 --> 01:28:43,876 In the matter of Stanley Minton. You have your files. 1257 01:28:47,547 --> 01:28:51,497 [woman] In his time here, Minton has accrued an exemplary record. 1258 01:28:51,676 --> 01:28:55,176 And let it be noted, he's a first-time non-violent offender. 1259 01:28:59,100 --> 01:29:01,009 [ticking] 1260 01:29:01,186 --> 01:29:03,593 Hold up! 1261 01:29:03,772 --> 01:29:07,022 Before we vote, Mr. Minton, is there anything you'd like to add? 1262 01:29:07,192 --> 01:29:10,442 I'd just like to say, um... [clears throat] 1263 01:29:10,612 --> 01:29:12,734 ...I've really learned a lot. 1264 01:29:12,905 --> 01:29:15,361 And I'm ready to get back to work. 1265 01:29:17,035 --> 01:29:19,193 [woman] Good, we like to hear that. 1266 01:29:20,538 --> 01:29:23,788 Here's the yard where the prisoners come to exercise. 1267 01:29:23,958 --> 01:29:27,541 That's where Charlie the Fly tried to fly over the wall. [laughs] 1268 01:29:27,712 --> 01:29:30,997 Well, in light of Warden Gasque's recommendation, 1269 01:29:31,173 --> 01:29:34,673 I think we have a pretty clear-cut case for parole. 1270 01:29:37,263 --> 01:29:39,551 Mr. Minton? 1271 01:29:42,059 --> 01:29:45,309 How would you feel about getting out of here today? 1272 01:29:49,608 --> 01:29:51,268 Mr. Minton? 1273 01:29:55,447 --> 01:29:57,190 Did I mention I'm in real estate? 1274 01:29:58,408 --> 01:30:01,991 [laughs] I got my eye on some property real close by here 1275 01:30:02,162 --> 01:30:06,373 - I can't wait to develop. - Hm. That's commendable. 1276 01:30:06,541 --> 01:30:10,159 You know, while I was in here, also, I joined a biker gang. 1277 01:30:10,337 --> 01:30:13,172 Satan's Paedophiles. 1278 01:30:13,340 --> 01:30:15,416 Anyway, they said when I get out, 1279 01:30:15,592 --> 01:30:18,546 they'd love to camp next to the grammar school near here. 1280 01:30:18,720 --> 01:30:20,131 I hope that's not a problem. 1281 01:30:20,305 --> 01:30:24,801 They're pretty cool guys, except when they drink and do crystal meth. 1282 01:30:24,976 --> 01:30:26,554 Which is almost every weekend. 1283 01:30:26,728 --> 01:30:31,520 But most of the people I sell to, they don't need to know about that. 1284 01:30:31,691 --> 01:30:35,819 'Cause, uh, they're old ladies, mostly. Not too good with fine print, 1285 01:30:35,987 --> 01:30:37,101 if you get my drift. 1286 01:30:38,781 --> 01:30:42,530 Tell me, is your grandma still alive? I bet I could make her a sweet deal. 1287 01:30:42,702 --> 01:30:44,778 By the time I'm through with her, 1288 01:30:44,954 --> 01:30:49,746 she'll give hand jobs behind the pharmacy to pay for arthritis medication. 1289 01:30:51,544 --> 01:30:54,580 Two at a time, you know? Stuff you see in pornos. 1290 01:30:56,715 --> 01:31:00,760 Anyway, that's a nice top you have on. Seriously. 1291 01:31:00,928 --> 01:31:03,633 Mind lowering it? I'd love to see some boobage. 1292 01:31:04,848 --> 01:31:07,849 Let me see that, woman. That's sexy. Let me see that. 1293 01:31:08,018 --> 01:31:11,304 Let me touch one of them. Let me touch one of them. Can I? Please? 1294 01:31:11,480 --> 01:31:14,101 Parole denied! Take him back to his cell! 1295 01:31:14,274 --> 01:31:18,106 What colour are your nipples? I bet they're pink! Light brown? 1296 01:31:18,278 --> 01:31:19,772 Dollar size or quarter? 1297 01:31:22,449 --> 01:31:24,821 Stan, did we win? 1298 01:31:24,993 --> 01:31:26,820 Let go of me. I'm in a hurry. 1299 01:31:26,995 --> 01:31:28,370 Have no fear, Stanley. 1300 01:31:28,538 --> 01:31:32,239 I will continue to take care of your wife while you're gone. 1301 01:31:32,417 --> 01:31:35,038 - Thanks a lot, pal. - No thanks needed. 1302 01:31:35,211 --> 01:31:37,998 I cherish Mindy's company. 1303 01:31:38,173 --> 01:31:42,087 Since my addiction to cigarettes made me impotent, 1304 01:31:42,260 --> 01:31:45,296 I've had very little contact with the fair sex. 1305 01:31:46,264 --> 01:31:47,675 Impotent? 1306 01:31:47,849 --> 01:31:50,091 I used to think smoking was cool, 1307 01:31:50,268 --> 01:31:56,021 but a limp dick spells nerd in any language. 1308 01:31:56,190 --> 01:31:59,227 - You're impotent. That's great! - Not really. 1309 01:32:00,111 --> 01:32:02,684 Baby, I love you. I'll write to you as soon as I can. 1310 01:32:02,863 --> 01:32:04,655 OK. 1311 01:32:06,117 --> 01:32:07,694 [Mindy screams] 1312 01:32:07,868 --> 01:32:09,991 That's my boy. 1313 01:32:10,663 --> 01:32:12,121 Love you, baby! 1314 01:32:13,499 --> 01:32:16,204 - He's running! - Code red! 1315 01:32:16,377 --> 01:32:18,749 Watch the prisoners file in. 1316 01:32:21,340 --> 01:32:22,834 [phone rings] 1317 01:32:53,913 --> 01:32:55,787 The Master has taught you well. 1318 01:32:55,957 --> 01:32:59,492 Don't tell me. You studied with The Master too? 1319 01:32:59,669 --> 01:33:04,378 - I am his number one. - [scoffs] I didn't see that coming. 1320 01:33:04,549 --> 01:33:07,503 There are many things you will not see coming. 1321 01:33:07,677 --> 01:33:10,250 Oh, really? Like what? 1322 01:33:19,772 --> 01:33:20,851 Hmm. 1323 01:33:21,023 --> 01:33:22,517 [grunts] 1324 01:33:24,985 --> 01:33:29,861 - Whoa. Take it easy. - I have been taking it easy. 1325 01:33:30,032 --> 01:33:31,657 [both grunting] 1326 01:33:38,248 --> 01:33:40,822 [man] I wanna break me off some chocolate. 1327 01:33:41,001 --> 01:33:42,875 [man 2] Come on, hold the line. 1328 01:33:44,797 --> 01:33:47,632 - Top you up here? - Thank you very much. 1329 01:33:48,467 --> 01:33:50,625 - How are you doing? - [indistinct chatter] 1330 01:33:50,802 --> 01:33:51,834 Yeah, good. 1331 01:34:07,193 --> 01:34:11,820 I don't think The Master prepares you for this. 1332 01:34:16,911 --> 01:34:19,402 Here comes the eagle. 1333 01:34:28,548 --> 01:34:30,208 [screaming] 1334 01:34:33,094 --> 01:34:35,881 [indistinct chatter, laughter] 1335 01:34:36,055 --> 01:34:38,593 [grunting] 1336 01:34:45,689 --> 01:34:48,856 [all shouting] 1337 01:34:51,070 --> 01:34:52,813 Are those weapons? 1338 01:35:00,746 --> 01:35:02,537 Hoo, hoo, hoo! 1339 01:35:03,707 --> 01:35:05,415 Ah! 1340 01:35:07,211 --> 01:35:09,203 [groaning] 1341 01:35:09,379 --> 01:35:12,250 Somebody didn't strengthen their titties. 1342 01:35:14,926 --> 01:35:16,337 Whoo! 1343 01:35:20,307 --> 01:35:22,798 [shouting] 1344 01:35:22,976 --> 01:35:24,554 It looks like a riot. 1345 01:35:29,441 --> 01:35:32,441 - [panting] - [grunting] 1346 01:35:45,581 --> 01:35:47,574 [shouting] 1347 01:35:47,750 --> 01:35:49,577 Whoo! 1348 01:35:53,047 --> 01:35:55,503 - I celebrated too early! - Ah! 1349 01:36:08,020 --> 01:36:10,855 Warden, can't you do anything to stop this? 1350 01:36:11,023 --> 01:36:15,186 - Bullard, prepare to fire. - [cocks gun] 1351 01:36:37,674 --> 01:36:40,343 [shouting] 1352 01:36:46,433 --> 01:36:47,891 Whoo! 1353 01:36:48,059 --> 01:36:50,764 Whoo! Whoo! 1354 01:36:54,190 --> 01:36:55,471 Whoo! 1355 01:36:56,359 --> 01:36:57,937 Finger of death. 1356 01:37:00,947 --> 01:37:02,738 [sniffs] 1357 01:37:05,159 --> 01:37:06,570 That's you. 1358 01:37:08,079 --> 01:37:09,739 [high-pitched warbling] 1359 01:37:12,625 --> 01:37:15,875 I don't know if The Master prepared you for this. 1360 01:37:22,218 --> 01:37:23,961 Hoo! 1361 01:37:28,432 --> 01:37:29,381 [all shouting] 1362 01:37:29,558 --> 01:37:33,141 - Ready to dance, motherfuckers? - Handle your shit, bitch! 1363 01:37:33,312 --> 01:37:34,510 Fire at will. 1364 01:37:36,398 --> 01:37:37,561 Don't fight! 1365 01:37:42,696 --> 01:37:45,448 [salsa music plays] 1366 01:38:25,113 --> 01:38:26,772 [laughing] 1367 01:38:30,076 --> 01:38:31,451 Why aren't you firing? 1368 01:38:39,585 --> 01:38:42,705 - Fire that weapon. - I can't do it, boss. 1369 01:38:45,257 --> 01:38:47,416 Well, why the hell not? 1370 01:38:47,593 --> 01:38:50,084 They're just dancing. 1371 01:38:59,479 --> 01:39:01,472 Give me that rifle. 1372 01:39:07,112 --> 01:39:08,736 What the hell are you doing? 1373 01:39:09,865 --> 01:39:11,359 [Gasque] Restoring order. 1374 01:39:12,534 --> 01:39:15,072 They've clearly lost their minds. 1375 01:39:15,245 --> 01:39:17,072 Warden, it's over. 1376 01:39:19,457 --> 01:39:21,082 Look at all these witnesses. 1377 01:39:21,251 --> 01:39:23,623 It's over, warden. 1378 01:39:27,924 --> 01:39:29,751 You did this to me. 1379 01:39:47,401 --> 01:39:50,402 - Where did that come from? - What do you think I've been doing 1380 01:39:50,571 --> 01:39:52,813 with The Master for the last six months? 1381 01:39:52,990 --> 01:39:54,947 [sighs] Thank God. 1382 01:39:55,117 --> 01:39:56,861 You did good with Dang. 1383 01:39:57,036 --> 01:39:59,823 But you're still my number two student. 1384 01:39:59,997 --> 01:40:03,615 - Number two? - She'll kick your ass. 1385 01:40:06,128 --> 01:40:08,168 I might like that. 1386 01:40:09,798 --> 01:40:12,124 Ready position! 1387 01:40:12,301 --> 01:40:14,293 Focus! 1388 01:40:14,470 --> 01:40:16,213 Lock! Punch! 1389 01:40:16,388 --> 01:40:18,760 - Kick! Double punch! - [all] Yah! 1390 01:40:18,932 --> 01:40:21,684 Ready position! 1391 01:40:21,852 --> 01:40:23,809 Lock! Punch! 1392 01:40:23,979 --> 01:40:26,766 - Kick! Double punch! - [all] Yah! 1393 01:40:26,940 --> 01:40:29,609 - It's time, Minton. - Just a minute, warden. 1394 01:40:29,776 --> 01:40:32,528 Looks great, guys. Thanks, Robbie. 1395 01:40:32,696 --> 01:40:35,862 OK, everybody, I gotta go now. 1396 01:40:36,032 --> 01:40:39,947 - [all groaning] - I'll miss you too. 1397 01:40:40,120 --> 01:40:43,654 I want you guys to be especially nice to our newest inmate 1398 01:40:43,832 --> 01:40:47,366 and best disbarred lawyer in the world, Lew Popper. 1399 01:40:47,544 --> 01:40:50,379 - Welcome aboard! - Lew! 1400 01:40:50,547 --> 01:40:54,876 - Is the ban on rape still in effect? - I'm pretty sure. 1401 01:40:55,051 --> 01:40:57,340 - [chuckles] - [Shorts] Hey! 1402 01:40:57,512 --> 01:41:02,055 Permission to give Big Stan a group hug. 1403 01:41:02,225 --> 01:41:04,217 - Permission granted. - Come on, gang! 1404 01:41:04,393 --> 01:41:07,228 [all shouting] 1405 01:41:12,318 --> 01:41:16,150 Hey, little homey, thanks for giving me my teeth back. 1406 01:41:16,322 --> 01:41:19,738 - My pleasure. - [speaks Spanish] 1407 01:41:19,909 --> 01:41:21,617 [speaks Spanish] 1408 01:41:24,538 --> 01:41:27,243 - Where you going, cracker? - I'm going home, man. 1409 01:41:27,416 --> 01:41:31,283 - I think Big Stan is staying here. - Oh, yeah? 1410 01:41:34,423 --> 01:41:35,537 Oh, shit! 1411 01:41:35,716 --> 01:41:38,385 [โ™ช Los Niรฑos de Sara: Vagabundo] 1412 01:41:38,552 --> 01:41:41,257 [Patterson] I'm Big Stan. No more rape. [laughs] 1413 01:41:41,430 --> 01:41:43,256 Aw, very creepy. 1414 01:41:44,558 --> 01:41:45,637 My cracker. 1415 01:41:47,018 --> 01:41:48,299 Be good, huh? 1416 01:41:49,855 --> 01:41:52,013 Bye, Stan! 1417 01:41:52,816 --> 01:41:54,855 [Big Raymond] Hey. Hey. 1418 01:41:57,988 --> 01:41:59,019 Whoo! 1419 01:41:59,197 --> 01:42:02,732 - Big man. - Bye, Big Stan. 1420 01:42:02,909 --> 01:42:04,487 Say bye. 1421 01:42:10,667 --> 01:42:11,746 Stan! 1422 01:42:14,295 --> 01:42:16,667 Sweetie. 1423 01:42:16,839 --> 01:42:18,796 Hey, handsome. 1424 01:42:18,966 --> 01:42:21,173 - Where's Mindy Junior? - In the car. 1425 01:42:21,344 --> 01:42:24,428 - She's being kind of a brat. - Isn't the nanny helping? 1426 01:42:24,597 --> 01:42:27,302 Yeah. I think he still sneaks cigarettes. 1427 01:42:27,475 --> 01:42:30,179 Yeah? I'll talk to him. 1428 01:42:31,437 --> 01:42:33,097 [coughing] 1429 01:42:35,733 --> 01:42:38,484 Hi, precious. Hi, The Master. 1430 01:42:38,652 --> 01:42:41,274 - Say hello to your father, child. - Hi. 1431 01:42:41,447 --> 01:42:44,816 - Rumour is you're sneaking smokes. - Shh. 1432 01:42:45,659 --> 01:42:49,194 - How's her technique? - She stinks. 1433 01:42:49,371 --> 01:42:51,115 But so did you at first. 1434 01:42:51,290 --> 01:42:54,160 You sure? I don't remember that. 1435 01:42:54,334 --> 01:42:56,208 - [Mindy] Stan! - OK, baby. 1436 01:42:56,378 --> 01:42:58,252 [Mindy] Let's go, sweetie! 1437 01:43:03,802 --> 01:43:06,174 [Mindy] Whoo-hoo! 1437 01:43:07,305 --> 01:44:07,828 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 109010

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.