All language subtitles for A.Beautiful.Belly.2011.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG2_English

Jason: Did you have to punch me?

Will: Yep.

Jason: Do you think
my marriage is over?

Will: No.

Jason: You're a good brother.

Will: Yep.

Jason: Hi, my name
is Jason Ackart.

I am a elementary school
music teacher here
in the Sunshine State

but my real passion is writing
and performing for children.

I would love nothing more
than to become a member

of the Happy Kids
Family of Entertainers.

So here's my song.

(singing) Sometimes your
mommy doesn't understand,

sometimes a rainy day
can ruin your game plan.

Those days got a way of getting
under your skin, my friend,

and when you feel
that way just say

I'm going to dance
the blues away,

as I listen to the music play,

come on and dance
the blues away,

as we listen to the music play.

Just dance the blues away,

as you listen to the music play.

You got to dance the
blues away, today.

(reading) Dear Mr. Ackart,

I regret to inform
you after reviewing

we have determined your
talents, we believe,

and your persona lacks
a marketable hook.

Have a happy day.

(children's music)

Hello?

Izzie: Uncle Jelly!

Jason: Izzie!

How are you? (mwah)

You've gotten so big we're
going to have to measure you

next time you come over
to the house, okay?

Izzie: Okay.

Jason: You've got
stuff on the wall.

Hey, smells good in here.

How's it going?

Hey Danny.

Danny: Hey Jay.

How's it going?

Jason: Um, it's going good.

So what are you
guys doing tonight?

Will: Bible study.

Jason: Awesome, well
I'm going to get going

but I was thinking that...

maybe I'd, I'll um...

didn't you have something
that you needed to show me?

Will: Yes, that thing.

Jason: Yeah in the hallway!

Will: Let's look at that.

Jason: That thing in
the hallway, yeah.

Danny: What just happened?

Rachel: I don't know.

Jason: Chris and Danny broke up?

Will: Yes!

Jason: When?

Will: Like a week ago.

Jason: And you're
just telling me now?

Will: Never mind that, you
going to stick around or not?

Jason: Do you think
I stand a chance?

Will: I'm not telling
you to hit on her

but I think you
should stick around.

Jason: Bible study?

Will: Oh grow up.

(Christmas music)

Andy: Make sure you guys
try some of the casserole,

made that myself.

Will: History?

It's clearly the F-15.

(indistinct talking)

Dave: I'm glad to see
you tonight, Jason.

Jason: Yeah, actually,
I can't stay.

I just came over here for-

Dave: Absolutely, why don't
you try some of Andy's
green bean casserole here?

Jason: It looks good, I actually
ate before I came here so-

Dave: Ah stop with
it, just try it.

Danny: Hey.

Jason: Hi.

Dave: Okay everybody, looks
like we're all dished up.

Let's go into the living room.

Danny: You going to stay?

Jason: I don't have
a bible, so, can't.

Danny: You can look on with me.

Dave: So we'll start tonight's
study with Luke chapter one.

This is a sort of a prologue
to the coming of Christ.

It talks about his
forerunner, John the Baptist.

It talks really
about the coming of-

Jason: Oh yeah?

Danny: You should
come more often.

You hated it, didn't you?

Jason: No.

I don't hate it.

(Danny laughs)

I just have my own feelings
about God and the universe

and I'm just not up to talking
about it in a committee.

It was good to see you, though.

Danny: You know Chris and I
were together since high school

and we were supposed to
get married this summer.

Jason: Yeah.

Danny: It just, it's
going to be a while before
I'm ready to date again.

Jason: Yeah, I wasn't trying to.

Danny: I know, it's okay.

Jason: Okay.

Danny: Well, I'm
going to go now.

Maybe I'll see you next week?

Jason: Anything's possible.

Danny: Yeah.

Good night.

Jason: Good night.

Danny: Or, you can come
to my place for coffee.

You know, whichever.

Jason: Okay.

(cheerful music)

(laughing)

(laughing)

Danny: Baby's first bible.

(laughing)

Danny: You know this is
really great of you guys,

thank you so much.

Rachel: Well when we had
Izzie I was a lot stupider

and you were a lot poorer but
you were always there for me.

You're really lucky, you know.

Danny: How so?

Rachel: Because Jason, he's
already so good with kids.

It took Will a
while, believe me.

Danny: (laughs) I bet.

Hey, what is that?

Izzie: Mommy can I have
an ice cream sandwich?

Rachel: Yeah just
go ask your dad.

Jason: So is it weird
to have a baby shower
in the first trimester?

Will: It's weird that
you're not helping me
wash dishes right now.

Jason: Seriously.

Will: Well, we just figure it's
better to show you early on

that you're not alone
out there, you know?

Izzie: Daddy, daddy,
daddy, daddy, daddy!

Will: Hey, come here.

Where's the fire, sweetheart?

Izzie: I want a
ice cream sandwich.

Will: An ice cream sandwich?

Okay, what do you say?

Izzie: Please.

Will: Okay but you got
to tell Uncle Jellyman

what you want to be
when you grow up.

Izzie: A fireman.

Jason: A fireman?

Izzie: Mm-hmm.

Will: That's right,
just like her daddy.

Jason: A fireman huh, not
a firefighter or firewoman?

Izzie: A fireman! (Jason laughs)

Will: She doesn't
know the difference.

There you go sweetie,
now what do you say?

Izzie: I love you.

Will: I love you too but
what else do you say?

Izzie: Thank you.

Will: You're welcome.

Jason: She really digs you, man.

I mean, I don't know, you think
I'll have that with my kid?

Will: It's a daddy
thing, I guess.

You know, it's like you're
their entire template

for what it means to
be a great human being.

It's the best part though,
you're going to love it, Jay.

The kid's going to want
to be just like you.

It's like having a dog
only 100 times better.

Rachel: What's like having
a dog only 100 times better?

Will: Having you around, baby.

Rachel: Oh, you're
sweet. (slaps)

(Jason laughs)

Will: So is it time for
cocktail already there booser?

Rachel: No, they're for
Danny, she's craving cherries.

Will: You better stock
up now because Rachel
is Kalamata olives.

(Jason laughs)

Danny: We really made out
like bandits today, huh?

Jason: I don't know, I
haven't really processed
all of this yet.

Danny: You and me both.

And guess what?

Jason: What?

Danny: I'm not
feeling sick tonight.

You want to go to bed early?

Jason: Who needs a bed?

Danny: I love you so much.

Jason: I love you too.

Danny: Well, I guess we better
move this to the bedroom, huh?

Jason: Honestly, I'm
not really that tired.

Um, I had an idea for a song

and I want to work on
it before I lose it all.

Danny: Okay.

Don't stay up too late, though.

(piano playing)

(relaxing music)

Newswoman: Today in Peru, a
group of young expectant mothers

visited a new program in
Lima to participate in
what researchers there

are calling dolphin therapy.

In dolphin therapy,
researchers supervise as the
intelligent marine mammals

interact with pregnant women
in and out of the water.

Scientists behind the
program believe that the
sonic waves dolphins emit

by using echo
location, might help-

Danny: Does it look awful?

Rachel: It looks like you have a
pillow stuffed under your shirt.

You're taking all the fun
out of this by refusing
to show your belly.

I wish I looked
this hot with Izzie.

What?

Danny: How was the sex?

You know, when
you were pregnant?

Rachel: What do you mean?

Danny: It's been months.

Rachel: Oh, um, I'm sure
you're exaggerating.

Danny: No.

Rachel: Turn to your right.

Danny: I don't know, I mean I've
been with Chris for seven years

and I never felt the
type of electricity I
felt when Jason happened.

I never had somebody
that wanted me that badly

and all of a sudden one
day it just stopped.

All he does anymore is
write his damn songs.

I don't know, maybe
it's a family thing.

Was Will like that?

Rachel: Are you kidding?

I think Will has a
fetish, I couldn't beat
him off with a stick.

That probably doesn't help you.

Danny: No.

Maybe he's part dolphin.

Rachel: Do what?

Danny: I was watching
TV earlier today

and apparently dolphins are
like crazy attracted to pregos.

Like in Peru, they have
dolphin therapy and they
have mommy-to-be's come

and the dolphins come
and kiss their bellies.

Rachel: Maybe Jason needs
dolphin therapy, you know?

Teach him to love the bump.

Danny: He needs some
kind of therapy.

Rachel: Well the good
news is you're about
get so uncomfortable

the idea of sex will
probably make you want
to punch him in the face.

Here, look at these.

Danny: Ugh, I look
like Moby Dick.

Rachel: You look beautiful.

Danny: No, I look like an entire
new species is what I look like.

Rachel: Stop.

Danny: No, I can't even.

Rachel: Maybe I'm just
a lousy photographer.

Danny: So you admit
it, I look terrible.

Rachel: I admit that anything
I say right now will not help

because you are so insecure.

Why don't we look into a
professional photographer?

Danny: No, I hate studio
portraits, they're so cheesy.

Rachel: No I don't mean like
some franchise hack in the mall,

I mean like a real photographer.

Like an artist.

Come on, promise me
we'll look into it.

Danny: Fine.

(xylophone playing)

Jason: Bye kids.

Children: Bye.

Jason: Have a great summer.

See ya next year, bye!

Bye guys.

Principal Stevens.

Principal: Jason, hey.

Sit down.

I want to talk to
you about something.

Jason: Okay.

Principal: So uh,
so how's Danny?

The baby's healthy?

Jason: Yeah, she's good, yeah.

Principal: Good.

I remember when I was so
nervous when we had our first

but you guys are
going to be great.

Jason: Thanks.

So what's up?

Principal: Uh...

Danny: Maybe you can get a
job working at a music store,

selling instruments
or something.

How long has your ring
been all funky like this?

Jason: I don't know.

It's from banging
the keys, I guess.

Danny: Yeah?

Well give it here, I'll
have it reshaped for you.

Jason: It's fine.

Danny: Besides, you could
use a little sparkly newness

in your life right now.

How about we put you to
bed and I do things to you?

Jason: Thanks but I'm just not
really in the mood tonight.

Danny: This is a bad idea.

Rachel: Stop, this guy's
supposed to be really good.

Danny: Yeah, exactly.

I don't have money
for anything good.

Rachel: I already told you,
Will said we could help.

See?

It's gorgeous.

Nathan: Like that one?

Danny: Oh, uh, yeah
it reminds me of The
Little Mermaid I guess.

Nathan: That's my favorite too.

We're prepping these
for a gallery opening
in a couple of weeks.

Sorry to keep you
waiting, Nathan Long.

Danny: Hi.

Rachel: Danny, I'm Rachel.

Nathan: You both look
very familiar to me.

Is it possible we've met?

Rachel: We both tend bar
over at Las Olas Bistro.

Nathan: Las Olas Bistro,
that must be it, I've
been there recently.

Well you probably want to
get off your feet, huh?

What kind of photos
are you looking for?

Danny: Well-

Rachel: Maybe something
a little sexy.

Nathan: Okay, we can do that.

Are you thinking something
semi-nude, maybe?

Danny: Oh no.

No, fully clothed.

Nathan: Okay, we
can do that too.

I usually like to work
in a location that's
meaningful to the mother.

Do you have anything in mind?

Danny: I don't know, I
guess we just assumed

we'd do it here in the studio.

Rachel: You were just
saying how you thought

studio portraits were cheesy.

Danny: Shut up.

Nathan: Maybe think it over.

Danny: You know what, we're
just window shopping anyway

so it's no big deal.

Nathan: I understand
if you're reluctant.

Many of my clients
are at the start.

But the truth is,
the pregnant body

is an extremely compelling
subject for photography.

It's human nature.

We're visually drawn
to pregnancy like-

Rachel: Dolphins. (laughs)

Nathan: I'm sorry?

Danny: Just something
I saw on TV.

Apparently, dolphins are
attracted to pregnant women.

Nathan: Really?

Danny: Apparently.

Nathan: You know, back in
college I spent a summer

shooting dolphins in the Amazon.

Rachel: I didn't know they
had dolphins in the Amazon?

Nathan: They don't
anymore, I shot 'em all.

That was a joke.

Danny: Um...

Nathan: River dolphins
called the Boto.

Rachel: Weird looking.

Nathan: You want to hear weird?

The natives believe the
Boto is a shapeshifter.

They say it takes the form
of man to abduct young
girls and impregnate them.

They call him
"encantado", enchanted.

Danny: Well that's
incredibly creepy.

Nathan: It is, isn't it?

Danny: Yeah, crazy raping
jungle dolphins aside,

I guess we should probably
talk about the cost?

Nathan: Well for a
typical session you're
looking at around $500,

that includes your session-

Danny: Woah, uh, no.

I definitely am sorry,
I can't afford that.

Rachel: Look, this is
really important to her.

Danny: This is very
important to you.

Rachel: Whatever, do you
have any kind of a discount
package or something?

Nathan: I tell ya what,
I've got this gallery
opening in a couple weeks.

We're going to need bartenders.

If the two of you are willing
to do the event for free,

I won't charge you
for the session.

Rachel: Deal.

Nathan: Okay, write down all
your info for me and Danny,

if you want we can do
your session tomorrow?

Rachel: What?

You're welcome.

Jason: (singing) I don't
want it with bacon,

I want ham on the side,

I want an ice cream sandwich
and I want it chicken fried.

I want an ice cream sandwich,

two scoops with white,

strawberry and
chocolate, mmm-mmm,

can't wait to take a bite.

Allison: Excuse
me, Mr. Jellyman?

Jason: Jason.

Allison: Jason,
hi, Allison James.

Jason: Hi.

Allison: I was wondering if
you had a minute to talk?

Jason: Well if you can
walk and talk, I actually
have a bus to catch.

Allison: Oh, yeah, sure.

Jason: What's up?

Allison: Well, I'm a grad
student in TV production,

interning at a local
cable channel and I
wanted to talk with you

about a show idea that I had.

Jason: Okay.

Allison: Can I help
you carry something?

Jason: Thanks.

Allison: Okay, well I've been
doing some market research

and I figured what better way to
compete with area broadcasters

than a locally produced
children's show

that actually speaks
to our city's kids?

Jason: So what's your concept?

Allison: Well that's just
it, my concept is you.

Listen, I love your show and I
mean you really have something.

Look, you're in a hurry.

Let me give you my card, call
me and we'll do dinner sometime.

I promise you won't regret it.

Dave: The husband should fulfill
his marital duty to his wife

and likewise, the
wife to her husband.

Now do not deprive each other
except by mutual consent

and for a time, then come
together again so that
you will not be tempted

because of your lack
of self-control.

Now you hear people talk
all the time about having
a healthy sex life,

but you don't tend to hear
talk like that in a church.

Rachel: That's what I
like about this passage

is that he addresses
husbands and wives as equals.

Dave: Absolutely.

Rachel: There's this idea
that women aren't sexual

but he's very clear about
it here that if a husband

does not fulfill his
wife's sexual needs

that she's going to
look somewhere else.

Woman: Amen to
that. (crowd laughs)

Dave: How's it going, Jason?

Jason: Pretty good.

Dave: So, uh, as... you just-

Jason: Yeah, I got it.

Dave: Just hold then pull.

Jason: See, I'm
ready for children.

Dave: Yeah, um.

So anyway, I was, I
understand that things
have been a bit bumpy

between you and
Danny in the bedroom.

Jason: What was that now?

Dave: Well Danny
confided in Rachel and
Rachel confided in Andy

and Andy confided in me and
I thought maybe we should
have a little talk about it.

Jason: This is a joke, right?

Dave: Now I've
read where some men

associate the pregnant
body with obesity

and sometimes there's a desire
for their pregnant wives.

Jason: I'm really not
comfortable having a
conversation with you

involving my sex life.

Dave: Absolutely, believe
me, when Andy was first
pregnant with Joshua,

I too felt a little
weirded out by the sex.

But I had to work through
it, we got through it.

So what I'm maybe
suggesting is that you guys

maybe read some love
poetry or sensual massage.

Jason: Okay I'm also
not comfortable with you

saying the word sensual
or massage to me.

Ever.

In any context.

Dave: Well, normally I
wouldn't suggest this either,

but maybe you guys should
watch some videos together.

Jason: Stop.

Dave: Nothing X-rated,
just something a little
racy like Top Gun.

Jason: That's great
advice, I'll do that, okay.

Dave: Jason, here's
the point, is that you
should talk to your wife.

Maybe y'all should work
through it together.

Jason: Okay, I'll do
that, but can we not talk
about this at all anymore?

Danny: Can you open this?

Jason: Yeah.

Danny: Thanks.

Jason: Interesting
group tonight.

The husband shall fulfill his
marital duties to his wife.

Come on Danny, I know
a setup when I see one.

Danny: The Lord works
in mysterious ways.

Jason: Hmm.

So Dave tells me you think
our sex life is in trouble.

Danny: You're
calling him Dave now?

Jason: You kidding me?

Dave and I go way back.

We're old friends.

He was giving me all kinds
of ideas on how to hit that.

How about a foot massage?

Danny: You want me to
massage your feet now?

Jason: No, I meant how about
if I give you a foot massage?

Danny: Oh, I'd like that.

It's not about the sex or
it's not just about the sex.

Jason: I know.

Danny: You haven't been
present lately, Jason.

It's like you're avoiding me or-

Jason: I'm not
avoiding you, okay?

It's just I look at
you and it just...

It freaks me out a little.

Danny: Glad we
cleared that one up.

Jason: No, that's
not what I meant.

Okay, it's not you.

It's...

Danny: The baby?

I don't get it.

You love kids,
they're your life.

Look at you and Izzie.

Jason: Yeah, I love kids, okay?

But I'm not sure I'm ready
for the responsibility

of feeding and watering one.

Danny: You realize
they're not plants, right?

Jason: Yeah.

Danny: Yeah?

Because like a potted
plant, is not going to
be like that, Jason.

Jason: Yeah I get it.

Danny: Good or a Chia pet,
it's not like that either.

You were saying?

Jason: I don't know, I guess
I'm just having a hard time

looking beyond the
pregnancy right now.

Danny: Yeah, that must
be really hard for you.

Jason: I just need to find
a different way of like,

re-contextualizing
you in my head.

Danny: Oh God, I love it
when you talk dirty to me.

Jason: Danny, seriously.

Danny: Well, what?

Like role play?

Jason: I didn't really
have anything specific
in mind but yeah,

brainstorming, that's good.

I'm sorry I made
you feel unwanted.

I love you but-

Danny: But?

Jason: Not but, and.

I love you and...

this whole transition
from husband to father

is just a little
bigger than I expected.

Nathan: I like these three
the best, what do you think?

Rachel: I like the
one on the left.

Nathan: Danny, you okay?

Danny: Sorry, it's
not you, I just...

Woman: You know,
sweetheart, you're really
not supposed to use dye

when you're pregnant.

Danny: I know, it's not for me.

Will: So you screwed up?

Jason: I maybe didn't
handle things the best
way but I wouldn't say-

Will: Okay, so fix it.

Jason: Any bright
ideas on how I do that?

Will: Uh, I don't know.

Rachel likes it whenever
I show up at her work.

Jason: That's no good, I
got this meeting tonight

with that woman I was
talking to you about.

Will: Better watch
yourself, Jay.

Does Danny even know
about this woman?

Jason: Yeah, I'm secretly
meeting with Allison

and not telling
my wife about it.

Yes I told Danny about it.

It's a business meeting, I
don't see what the big deal is.

Will: Just 'cus you told
her doesn't mean it's okay.

Woman: Hey.

Nathan: How are you?

Woman: Good, how are you?

Nathan: I'm good, I'm good.

Is Danny busy?

Woman: I'll get her.

Hey, somebody's asking for you.

I'll take it.

Danny: Hi.

Nathan: You dyed your hair.

Danny: Yeah.

Nathan: Can you do that?

I thought...

Danny: It's... It's fine.

Nathan: I mean, it
looks great on you.

Danny: Yeah?

Nathan: Yeah.

I brought you a little present.

Danny: Okay, why on Earth would
you be bringing me a present?

Nathan: You seemed to like it.

You kind of look like her now,
with the red hair and all.

You know it's... it's not
unusual when you're pregnant

to feel weird about your body.

But you're a hot girl, Danny.

You're never going to see
it in your photos until
you see it in yourself.

End of platitude.

Danny: Thank you.

It was really sweet of you.

So, what can I get you to drink?

Nathan: Give me your specialty.

Danny: Hmm, one appletini
coming right up.

So, you think I should give
those photos another shot?

Nathan: Not in
the way you think.

Do you have a camera?

Danny: I have a camera phone.

Nathan: Perfect.

Take your own pictures.

Think of it as a
homework assignment.

Try not seeing yourself
through someone else's eyes.

When you find one that
feels right, give me a call.

I'd like to see it.

Danny: More platitudes?

Nathan: Maybe, but sincere ones.

What do you say?

Hmm?

Danny: I'm willing.

Jason: Hi.

Danny: Hi.

Jason: I got you a present.

I'm sorry about last night.

Danny: Yeah, me too.

I can't really talk
right now, though.

I kind of got to work.

Jason: Okay, yeah, sure.

Danny: Okay.

Allison: Hi, come on in.

I'm still working on dinner
so you're like here to help.

Jason: Oh, sure.

Allison: Help yourself
to a mojito, the
pitcher's on the table.

Jason: Pitcher.

Allison: Music's not
up too loud, is it?

Jason: No, it's fine.

Allison: I thought it
would be fun to do the
whole sensual experience.

Jason: So, what's next?

Allison: I think that we
need to start with a demo
of one of your songs.

You know, that's going to be the
key to selling the whole idea.

Jason: Not to be a jerk
but you're an intern right?

Allison: (laughs) Yeah.

Jason: So why on Earth
is anyone at your office
going to listen to you?

Allison: Confession time.

Patty, my boss, she's one of
my mother's oldest friends.

Jason: Ah.

Allison: (laughs) That's why
I need to do this, you know,

to prove to everybody that
I'm not just the boss's pet.

So, um, do you want some
coffee or something?

Jason: Yeah, that sounds great.

You're home late.

Danny: Yeah, got slammed.

Had a lot of side work after.

Jason: So who was that guy
you were talking to tonight?

Danny: What guy?

Jason: He left right
before I came in.

Danny: I don't know,
probably some regular, why?

Jason: Just seemed friendly.

Danny: What's with
the jealous routine?

Jason: I never
said I was jealous.

Danny: No, you didn't because
being jealous requires a fear

of someone taking something
you want and obviously

there's nothing
here that you want.

Jason: Where the hell
did that come from?

I came by tonight, didn't I?

I brought you a rose.

Danny: Yeah, a rose
from a homeless person.

I'm not an idiot.

Jason: I made an effort,
clearly you weren't interested.

Danny: Well then I guess
not being interested cuts
both ways, doesn't it?

Jason: No, you are not
allowed to do that.

Danny: Do what?

Jason: You can't just
blow me off for no reason.

Danny: No reason?

I have been married to an
empty bed for four months, Jay.

How's that for a reason?

Jason: Danny, I'm trying.

Danny: Jason, I didn't
ask you to marry me,

so if this is your version
of doing the right thing
then you can have it.

Jason: Where the hell
is this coming from?

Why would you even think
that I would marry you
just 'cus you're pregnant?

Is that why you married me?

I want an ice cream
sandwich with extra cheese.

Danny: Hey.

Jason: Hmm?

Danny: I'm sorry for earlier.

Jason: Hmm.

Danny: Earlier I was
mean for no reason.

Jason: Hmm?

Danny: Are you awake?

Jason: Mm-hmm, I'm awake.

You were mean.

Danny: You don't
have to rub it in.

Jason: I'm sorry too.

Danny: For what?

Jason: For pissing you off.

Danny: Do you even know what
you did that pissed me off?

Jason: I bought the
rose from the homeless
guy and I was jealous.

Danny: So you were jealous?

Jason: Isn't that what pissed
you off in the first place?

Danny: I was mad because you
said you weren't jealous.

Made me feel you didn't care.

It wasn't the rose that
bothered me, it was the fact
that you just bought one.

I mean that guy had a
whole bouquet of roses and
you bought me one rose.

Jason: Baby-

Jason: I didn't have
a lot of cash on me.

Danny: There's an
ATM like right there.

Okay, I know that's
not the point.

It was sweet of you to visit me.

And the rose was an
effort and I see that now.

I love you.

And I didn't marry you
just because of the baby.

Jason: Hey, what's this?

Danny: Nothing,
it's just hormones.

Go back to sleep, okay?

Jason: Okay.

I love you too.

(microwave dings)

So uh, what's with the naked
lady photo in the kitchen?

Danny: You like it?

Jason: I thought it
was you for a second.

Danny: Nope, not me.

Sorry.

Jason: Kind of looks like you
with the red hair and all.

Danny: Yeah, I guess.

Jason: So who's Nathan Long?

Danny: Uh, he took the photo.

Jason: Is that the
guy from last night?

Danny: Last night?

Jason: The regular?

Danny: Uh, he came by
and gave me the photo,

if that's what you're asking.

Jason: So why is a guy
who takes naked pictures
of pregnant ladies

signing a photograph of
a naked pregnant lady

that looks like you and
giving it to you anyways?

As a gift?

Danny: He knew I
liked the photo.

(hairdryer noise)

Jason: How'd he know
you liked the photo?

Danny: What?

Jason: Nothing.

Allison: I thought
some wine would help.

Okay, so what's the plan?

Jason: Well, first of
all I'm going to show you
how to use the software

so you can record and
secondly, you're going
to tell me what sucks

and what doesn't suck.

Allison: (laughs) Is that all?

Jason: Unless you
can sing harmony?

You sing?

Allison: (laughs) In
high school, a little.

Yeah, but it's been a
while since I've sung
in front of anyone.

But not counting
drunken karaoke.

Jason: Okay, well in that case
you can help me sing harmonies.

Alright here we go.

(both singing) I want it without
bacon and with ham on the side.

I want an ice cream sandwich,
I want an ice cream sandwich,

I want an ice cream sandwich
and I want it chicken fried.

Allison: (laughs) Yeah!

Jason: You have a nice voice.

Allison: All state chorus,
two years in a row.

Jason: I gotta tell ya, you've
got me excited about my music

like I have not been in months.

Allison: Man it's late.

You probably missed your bus.

Jason: Yeah, I'll call a cab.

Allison: I would
offer to drive you

but I probably shouldn't
be on the road right now.

Jason: It's okay.

Allison: You know you're welcome
to stay here if you want.

On the couch, I mean.

Jason: Yeah, I uh, I
probably shouldn't.

I got to be somewhere
early so I mean-

Allison: Yeah, no biggie.

I'll call you a cab.

Jason: Thanks.

Okay, how about if we make
it a little bit easier?

How about if you show
me where middle C is?

(piano note plays)

Okay, I'm going to
give you a hint.

Alright, it's in the
middle of the keyboard.

Middle C.

Hey.

Danny: Hey.

Jason: Awe, you shouldn't have.

Danny: I know.

With this ring, I thee wed.

Jason: 1-2-3 flip!

(upbeat music)

Will: So Jay, how's the
whole TV show with the
girl thing coming along?

Jason: Good, we recorded
a demo the other night.

Rachel: Soap.

Will: Did you do that here?

Jason: No, west.

Will: Oh, I want that.

Danny: Okay, I've been
skipped like three times.

Will: Ya snooze, ya lose.

Look who's back on top now, dog.

Thank you.

Jason: Yeah you had
that coming to you.

Will: So Danny, did you
have a chance to meet, uh...

What's her name?

Danny: Nope.

Jason: Allison.

No, I haven't
introduced her yet.

Danny: Maybe we should
have her over for dinner?

Jason: Yeah, I'll
mention that to her.

Rachel: Hey we're going
to have a garage sale

if you guys have anything
you want to get rid of.

Danny: Yeah, when
are you doing it?

Rachel: Uh, green dragon.

Soon, as soon as Will can
purge the garage of all
the crap he's accumulated.

Will: Yeah, Rachel's
making me get rid of
all of Dad's old stuff.

You want to come
over, go through it,

there might be something
you want to keep.

Danny: Yeah, maybe some of your
old baby stuff's over there.

That'd be kind of cool, huh?

Jason: Anything's possible.

Four, bam.

Danny: Can you give me the...

Will: Sure.

Danny: Finally, I get to go.

How do I look?

Jason: I'd tip ya.

Danny: Yeah but sympathy
tip or like, a MILF tip?

Jason: Definitely a... woah.

Really kicking.

Danny: Yeah I guess it's getting
a little cramped in there.

Jason: Wait 'til
he sees our house.

Danny: Or she.

Jason: I don't know why
we can't just find out.

Danny: Because it
would spoil the fun.

(phone rings)

Phone's ringing.

Jason: Hello?

Allison: Hey, so
Patty loved the demo.

She wants to meet you.

Jason: Really?

Allison: Mm-hmm, what
are you doing tonight?

Jason: Yeah, nothing.

Yeah I have a suit.

Mm-hmm.

I didn't mention I
was married? (laughs)

Yeah I was getting
my ring reshaped.

I um, I never mentioned that?

I never mentioned my wife?

I guess...

Just forgot to put
it on before I left.

Sorry, babe.

I got so used to leaving
the house without it.

I guess I forgot.

Allison: I thought the dolls
were a really great idea.

Woman: Yeah.

Allison: I thought it was-

Allison: Wow, you
clean up good, mister.

Jason: You look great, as usual.

Allison: Thanks.

Jason: So, what's up?

Allison: Well, Patty's
on the gallery board,

invited us to this opening.

This place is going to be
crawling with money tonight

so I think she's hoping to
help us get the show out there,

you know, see if we
can find some funding.

Are you okay?

Jason: Yeah, just
a little nervous.

Allison: Awe, that's adorable.

You know what helps
me when I get nervous?

Better?

So you want a drink?

Jason: Most definitely.

Patty: Jason, Patty Lewis.

Allison pointed you out to me.

Jason: Oh, so glad to meet you.

Patty: Yes, you're a music
teacher aren't you dear?

Jason: Uh-huh.

Patty: Do you think you
could teach me to play
a musical instrument?

Jason: Yeah, sure.

I mean I can teach you
piano lesson, guitar
lesson, whatever you wanted.

Patty: Sounds perfect, now
how long would it take?

Jason: To learn?

Patty: Will it take
more than a week?

Jason: Oh, probably.

Patty: Well that's no good then.

What about a harmonica?

Or possibly a Jew's harp?

Is it okay to say Jew's
harp, I mean is it
actually a Jewish thing

or is it some sort of slur?

Jason: I have no idea.

Allison: Ah, you guys
found each other.

Patty: You know that Snoopy used
to play a Jew's harp, don't you,

and you would think
if Snoopy could do it
then I could do it too.

Allison: What's this about?

Patty: Oh I bet Jeff
Peoples $50 dollars

that I'd be able
to learn a musical
instrument within a week.

Have to tell you Jason, I have
some sort of gambling problem.

Jason: Uh, Jeff Peoples
of PeoplesFace.com?

Patty: That's the one,
I was talking to him
earlier about your show.

He seems quite
interested, actually.

Where the devil did he get to?

Jason: He's a
bagillionaire! (laughs)

So how much do I owe
you for the drink?

Allison: Nothing,
it's an open bar.

Jason: Sweet.

Allison: I did leave a
pretty hefty tip, though.

Jason: Well you kind of
have to when it's an open
bar, something like that.

Allison: That and the
bartender was pregnant.

Oh my god, are you okay?

Jason: Yeah, I
just lost my grip.

Allison: Hey, move your leg.

Jason: No it's fine.

Allison: Under your foot-

Nathan: Hey, don't worry
about that, we'll have
someone clean it up.

Patty: Nathan, I'd like
you to meet some people.

Allison, Jason,
this is Nathan Long.

He's a member of
the board with me,

he's also a rather fabulous
photographer I might add.

Jason you were looking at
one of his pieces earlier.

Nathan: What do you-

Nathan: Got there?

Allison: Oh, someone
dropped a wedding ring.

Nathan: I'll have the girls
at the bar hold onto it,

in case someone comes looking.

Excuse me.

Patty: Oh Jason, if you're going
to the bar for another drink

would you please
get me a refill?

Jason: Sure, I'll be glad to.

Rachel: Totally could
of. (Danny laughs)

Nathan: Hey Rachel, got a
little clean up on aisle three.

Guy dropped his wine glass.

Rachel: Okay, world
would be a lot easier

if everybody just
used sippy cups.

Nathan: And someone
lost this, hold onto it?

Danny: Sure.

Jason?

What are you doing here
and why am I holding this?

Jason: Funny story.

It slipped off, I guess.

I mean I guess when
they reshaped it they
resized it too, so.

Danny: Okay, um, but
what are you doing here?

Allison: Hey, hurry
up with those drinks,

Patty's talking to
Jeff Peoples right now.

Jason: Okay, be right there.

Danny: Allison, right?

Jason: Yeah.

Danny: Yeah well maybe
you want me to hold onto
that for you then, right?

Wouldn't want to slip
away, you know, you
might lose it for good.

You better hurry,
sounded really important.

But you should,
um, bring her back.

After, you know.

I'd like to meet her.

Jason: Sure.

Danny: Yeah.

Jeff: So we're in Taiwan and
this lovely lady right here-

Allison: Oh, it's Jason.

Jason, this is Mr. Peoples.

Jeff: Hello and you
must be the Jellyman?

Jason: Uh, Captain Jellyman.

Jeff: Well Captain Jellyman,
the exquisite Allison here

was telling me about
your kids show and I
think it's fascinating.

You know, most kids' programming
these days is just horse shit.

I mean if you think about it.

Jason: I completely agree sir.

Actually, will you
excuse me, real quick?

Allison: Hey, you okay?

Jason: Yeah, I'm just
going to the bathroom real
quick, I'll be right back.

Allison: Okay.

(water running)

Nathan: Are you okay?

Danny: Yeah.

Nathan: Tired?

Danny: Yeah, always.

Nathan: How are
the photos going?

Danny: Photos?

Oh, my homework, right.

Nathan: Taken any?

Danny: Yeah, just nothing
I'm crazy about though.

Nathan: Well keep
trying, you'll find it.

Hey, did anyone ever come
looking for that ring?

Danny: Yeah, yeah.

Where'd you go tonight?

You left without saying goodbye.

Jason: I just...

Danny: Are you having an affair?

Jason: No, god, Danny, no.

Not at all.

Danny: Did your ring
really fall off tonight?

Jason: No.

Danny: Does your ring fit?

Jason: Yes.

Danny: Does this girl Allison,
does she know you're married?

Jason: It hasn't
exactly come up.

No, I suppose.

Danny: Right.

So if I understand
correctly, feel free to
correct me if I'm wrong,

you chose not to wear your
ring in front of her tonight.

That's a decision you made.

So you tell me, Jay, is there
something going on here or not?

Jason: No.

Danny: Jay, I swear if you're
lying to me we're done.

Jason: She kissed me.

That's it.

It wasn't anything, it just
happened so fast I didn't know,

I couldn't react, I just-

Danny: React?

Like what?

Like telling her you're married?

Or, I don't know, maybe
putting on your wedding ring?

Did you think about
sleeping with her?

I think it would
be best if you um,

if you called a cab and
stayed at your brother's.

Jason: Danny please,
can we talk about this?

Danny: No, not tonight.

Jason: Why do I have to
stay at Will's place?

Can I please just
crash on the couch?

Danny: No.

If you sleep on the couch,

I'll be real tempted to
hurt you in your sleep

so I think it'd be best for
both of us if you just leave.

Jason: Can I please
have my ring back?

Danny: (laughs) You want
to wear your ring now?

Jason: Danny.

Danny: No Jason, you don't
get to pick and choose
when you wear this ring.

Jason: You don't have to
take off your ring to cheat.

Why did Nathan give
you that photo?

Danny: Well that's brilliant.

You think Nathan and I
are having an affair?

Jason: Have you thought
about sleeping with him?

I think I'll call that cab now.

(pop music)

(doorbell)

Jason: Rachel's pretty
pissed at me, huh?

Will: Brother, you need
to understand right now
that you screwed up.

So the less you say the better.

(phone rings)

Who's that?

Jason: Allison.

Will: Let me give you one more
piece of brotherly advice.

You want to fix your marriage?

You walk away from that.

Danny: You know you
spoil me, Mr. Long.

Nathan: That maraschino
crap is terrible for you.

Danny: You know, I bet you'd
make a really good midwife.

Nathan: I'll keep that in mind

in case this whole
photography thing is a bust.

Danny: Hey, it's always
good to have a backup.

Nathan: So what about
you, you have a backup?

Danny: I don't know.

I mean, this having
someone's baby, you know,

enough to build a life on?

Nathan: I'm surprised to
hear you ask that question.

Danny: Why?

Nathan: I don't know,
commitment, whatever reason
you married this guy.

Danny: So you think
I should work it out?

Nathan: It's not my call.

Danny: I just, I have
this dream, you know,

of finding a guy who wants me
so bad he can barely take it.

Nathan: Well I would
imagine a man like this

would come with his
own set of troubles.

Danny: Yeah.

I found a really
cool word online.

Nathan: Hit me.

Danny: Okay but it's very
hard to say, especially
with a cherry in your mouth.

Okay, ready?

Maieusophile.

Nathan: Maieusophile,
maieusophile?

Danny: Mm-hmm. (Nathan laughs)

It's somebody who's sexually
aroused by pregnancy.

You know as opposed
to maieusophobe,

who has irrational fear
of childbirth because
I just figured all guys

kind of fit into one category
or the other, you know?

I've been thinking about
it and I want to do
another session with you.

Nathan: Really?

Danny: Yeah and I
want to do it nude.

Nathan: So we're
cheating, isn't it?

Danny: I'm sorry?

Nathan: On your homework?

I'm just playing.

Danny: I'm sorry.

(knocking on door)

Allison: Hey, do
you want to come in?

God you look terrible.

Hungry?

I was just going to
fix myself a sandwich.

Jason: Can I have
a drink please?

Allison: Yeah.

Do you want to have a seat
and I'll bring you something?

Jason: Yeah, thanks.

Allison: Okay.

Jason: Thank you.

Allison: So, what the
hell's wrong with you?

Jason: We need to talk.

Allison: Okay.

Jason, if this is
about the kiss-

Jason: I'm married.

Allison: Um, you
mean like separated?

Jason: Actually at the
moment I don't really know

how to answer that question.

But generically speaking, no.

I'm not separated.

Allison: You're married?

Jason: Yes.

Allison: And you just
thought you'd mention it?

Jason: At first, it
never really came up.

And then I didn't know
how to bring it up
without it being awkward.

Allison: Um, yeah, well,
it's still a little awkward.

Jason: I don't know what to say.

I need to tell you why I
need to walk away from this.

Why I can't do
the show with you.

I'm so thankful for the
opportunity that you've given me

and I'm so sorry for
screwing things up.

Danny: I don't know
what's going to happen,

it's just right now I really
don't want anybody else
to know what's going on.

Dave: Absolutely.

Danny, I want you to
know that mine and Andy's
prayers will be with you

and I know that-

Danny: Uh, Jason's
just walked in.

Jason: Can we talk?

Danny: And he walks to talk.

Jason: Who's that?

Danny: Pastor Dave.

Jason: You have to ask
Pastor Dave for permission
to talk to me now?

Danny: No, I don't have
to ask permission to talk-

Jason: Can we talk?

Danny: Okay, what
do you want to say?

Jason: I know that
I screwed stuff up

but I want to put
things back on track

and I really want to start by
getting my wedding ring back.

Danny: Jay it's not that simple.

Jason: I know it's not, okay?

I broke your trust and
I know I'm going to
have to earn it back

and I'm going to have to-

Danny: Jason, you're not
listening to me, okay?

This is not just about you.

We have problems.

I have problems.

Jason: What do you mean?

Danny: After you left
I went to Nathan's.

Nothing happened but I went
there hoping something would.

Jay, we just need to
take some time, okay?

We just need some time-

Jason: Okay we'll
take some time.

Tell you what, you just
give me back my wedding ring

and I'll come back
in a day or so, okay?

Danny: Jay, you're not
hearing me right now.

Jason: Okay, you don't want
to give me the ring back.

You're hiding it from me.

I'll find it myself.

Danny: He's lost
his mind, a little.

Will: Why don't you
take off with Rachel.

Jason: Hey, you guys come
to help me find the ring?

Will: Jay, look at yourself.

You need to stop.

Dave: Jason I'm surprised
with all this noise

the neighbors haven't called
the police on you already.

(car engine)

Jason: Is that Danny,
is she leaving?

Danny!

Will: She's leaving.

Dave: Wait.

Will: Ow.

Jason: What the hell?

Will: Come on, come on get up.

(gentle music)

Jason: I cannot believe how
old some of this crap is.

Will: Pretty great, right?

It's like a time capsule.

Jason: There's some of
dad's old plaques in here.

You may want to put these
up, you know you being the...

Will: You all right man, did
you see a snake or something?

Jason: My god, I
didn't even think they
still existed anymore.

Will: It's Arthur Jellyman,
it's your old namesake.

What was my guy's
name, Mr. Pibb?

Jason: Mister P.B.

Will: Right, P.B.

Man I haven't thought about
those puppet shows in years.

They were great though, huh?

You okay?

Jason: It's like you said, man,
kids want to idolize their dads.

What's my kid going to idolize?

I just wanted to do
something special.

Something that my
kid could be proud of

and look where it's gotten me.

Will: Jay, your kid's
not even born yet.

You think they're going to
care about any of that stuff?

Jason: You did.

Izzie does.

You followed in Dad's
footsteps and now Izzie's
going to follow in yours.

Will: Yeah and you
took your name from the
damn puppet Dad made

and wear his captain's
hat when you performed.

Will: I thought it was
cool that Dad fought fires

and you thought it was cool
he made puppets for his kids.

Doesn't matter what it is,
kids just love their fathers

and every kid's going
to find his own thing.

Course, none of that's going to
matter unless you pull your head

out of your ass and find someway
to make things right with Danny.

Now come on, quit being a girl
and help me with these boxes.

Rachel: How're you
holding up, kiddo?

So how long do I
have to keep him?

I guess you want that.

Where you headed?

Danny: Therapy.

Jason: Danny,
please call me back.

I love you.

Rache, you gotta help me here.

What do I do?

Rachel: I don't know, Jay.

She's upset.

Hey baby, what is it?

Izzie: I want to go to the park.

Rachel: Well maybe you
can ask Uncle Jellyman.

He could use the sympathetic
company right now.

Jason: Okay kiddo, let's go.

(gentle music)

(door knock)

Will: Hey Jay?

We're headed to your house.

Jason: Yeah okay.

Will: I think the cover
story is that you are
visiting mom for the weekend.

Jason: Can you
tell Danny that I-

Will: Yeah.

Dave: His mother says
unto the servants,

what's already said unto
you, do it and there were-

Jason, I thought you
were out of town tonight?

Jason: I got back early.

Dave: Absolutely, why don't
you grab a seat and join us.

Jason: I'm going to
grab a beer real quick
and I'll be right back.

Dave: Okay.

And he says unto them,
draw out now and-

Rachel: You okay?

(indistinct talking)

(ukulele playing)

Jason: (singing) Beautiful belly
answer to my happiest prayers,

move if you listen hey, kick
if you can hear me in there,

do you hear the lies I
tell every once in a while

'bout the way I feel, it's true,
please don't tell your mama

that I'm so afraid,
you know it'll be okay

as long as you will love me too,

wonderful belly,
I'm standing by,

I'm waiting right here,
with so many questions

like I wonder if
you'll have any hair?

Will you have my
smile or maybe hers,

will your eyes be green or blue?

Doesn't really matter
but I'm so afraid,

you know it'll be okay as
long as you will love me too,

the way that I love you.

Danny: Please leave.

Not you, them.

Them, please leave, you
guys have to go like now.

Will: Absolutely.

Jason: I get it now.

Danny: Yeah, me too.

(upbeat music)