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1
00:00:00,107 --> 00:00:05,107
(movie projector whirring)
(pleasant chiming music)
2
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:12,070
- First of all, thank you for coming out.
3
00:00:12,070 --> 00:00:13,800
The reason I've asked you
here today is to address
4
00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,340
a very, very serious situation.
5
00:00:16,340 --> 00:00:18,310
A unique opportunity has arisen,
6
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:20,480
but there will be pitfalls galore.
7
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:23,210
I need help with ideation, logistics,
8
00:00:23,210 --> 00:00:26,100
and maybe even execution,
9
00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:29,880
but the fundamental question is this:
10
00:00:31,150 --> 00:00:33,650
how do I entertain two
kids for the next 36 hours?
11
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:39,720
- Most of what you just said,
I don't know what it means.
12
00:00:39,723 --> 00:00:43,603
- They are kids. Kids
like to do fun things.
13
00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:47,870
- For 36 hours? (laughs)
14
00:00:47,870 --> 00:00:49,850
- Children also sleep.
15
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,620
- I don't know, these ones might not.
16
00:00:51,620 --> 00:00:54,360
- All right, first of all, lose the suit.
17
00:00:56,940 --> 00:00:59,440
- Really? I thought it was impressive.
18
00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:00,270
- For the kids.
19
00:01:02,450 --> 00:01:04,030
- There's Great Explorations.
20
00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:09,080
- Yes, the children's
museum. It's very, hands-on.
21
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,260
- Oh, it's such a cool place. I love it!
22
00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:14,530
- You love a children's museum?
23
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- He really likes the fire truck.
24
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,380
- Oh, it won't be long till we're taking
25
00:01:17,380 --> 00:01:20,140
our own little one there. (laughs)
26
00:01:21,371 --> 00:01:23,501
- Guys, what do I do to break
the ice when they get here?
27
00:01:25,530 --> 00:01:27,890
- Bring 'em to the bar.
- Great idea!
28
00:01:29,060 --> 00:01:30,770
Help me loosen up, you know.
29
00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:33,300
- Not for you.
30
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I'll make them virgin pina coladas.
31
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Kids love that kind of stuff.
32
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- Okay, but I get one too, right?
33
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(playful music)
34
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- Dan, you seem nervous.
- Well, of course I'm nervous.
35
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:53,530
I never wanted to be estranged
36
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from my brother or his family.
37
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- Well, I mean, you could fix that now.
38
00:02:00,030 --> 00:02:02,180
- Can I? How?
39
00:02:02,180 --> 00:02:03,270
I don't even know what these kids like.
40
00:02:03,270 --> 00:02:05,070
I don't even know what they're like.
41
00:02:06,380 --> 00:02:10,500
What if they're goth kids?
42
00:02:10,499 --> 00:02:13,579
(intense rock music)
43
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- [Dan] Hey guys, I got a fun day planned.
44
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- Whatever.
- Don't you want to have fun?
45
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- We're nihilists, Uncle Dan.
46
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We don't believe in fun.
47
00:02:28,579 --> 00:02:29,409
- We don't believe in anything.
48
00:02:32,370 --> 00:02:34,270
- Who doesn't believe in fun?
- What?
49
00:02:36,070 --> 00:02:38,090
- Worst case scenario, they're nerds.
50
00:02:38,090 --> 00:02:39,940
Throw 'em in a room with some video games,
51
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a chess set or something.
52
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Do people still even play chess?
53
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:45,620
- Relax Dan, they're just kids,
54
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and I already found a solution for you,
55
00:02:47,490 --> 00:02:49,650
for the afternoon anyway.
56
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Tickets to a soccer game.
- Oh, awesome!
57
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They love soccer I think.
58
00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:56,260
- Tickets are at will
call under your name.
59
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:57,830
Game is at 1:00. Have fun!
60
00:02:58,705 --> 00:03:03,705
(people chatting)
(Dan sighing)
61
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- Dan, good to see you.
62
00:03:10,670 --> 00:03:12,530
- It's good to see you too, Paul.
63
00:03:12,530 --> 00:03:15,330
- Logan, Katie, say hi to Uncle Danny.
64
00:03:15,330 --> 00:03:16,920
- Hi, Uncle Danny.
- Hello.
65
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:19,400
- Hi guys. You ready to have some fun?
66
00:03:21,330 --> 00:03:25,940
Who likes beach bars?
(upbeat island music)
67
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- Can't remember the last time
I had a virgin pina colada.
68
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,370
- You sure you don't
want a full strength one?
69
00:03:37,370 --> 00:03:39,030
I'm the one who has to
be responsible today.
70
00:03:39,030 --> 00:03:41,970
- No, I gotta meet
Kelly back at our hotel.
71
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She has a spa morning.
- Oh, I love spa mornings.
72
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(children giggling)
73
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Well, we got a fun outing
of our own planned.
74
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- Where are we going?
75
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- We're going to a soccer game.
76
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:53,700
- Soccer? Yes, I love soccer!
77
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- Yeah, I knew that.
78
00:03:56,010 --> 00:03:57,650
- I'm sure you'll have a great time.
79
00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,494
- (laughs) Yeah, and afterwards,
we can grab some ice cream.
80
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,660
The Don has his own old
fashioned ice cream parlor.
81
00:04:02,662 --> 00:04:03,912
- Yes!
- Mm hmm.
82
00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:08,830
Maybe we'll get a big thing
of popcorn and watch a movie.
83
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,842
- [Kids] "Fury Road!"
84
00:04:10,841 --> 00:04:13,381
- I love "Mad Max."
85
00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:15,190
- Absolutely not.
86
00:04:15,191 --> 00:04:18,291
- But we've seen all of
them besides "Fury Road."
87
00:04:18,290 --> 00:04:20,290
- Wait, you let 'em watch the first three?
88
00:04:20,290 --> 00:04:21,280
- I did not.
89
00:04:21,280 --> 00:04:23,560
There's a little thing
called video on demand
90
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,980
which is now closely monitored.
91
00:04:25,982 --> 00:04:27,072
- [Kids] Boo!
92
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:29,580
- Under no circumstances are they
93
00:04:29,580 --> 00:04:31,030
allowed to watch "Fury Road."
94
00:04:32,820 --> 00:04:36,480
- Scout's honor.
(upbeat island music)
95
00:04:37,846 --> 00:04:42,846
(pleasant music)
(people cheering)
96
00:04:49,106 --> 00:04:49,936
- Wow!
97
00:04:51,156 --> 00:04:53,546
- Do you go a lot of
soccer games, Uncle Danny?
98
00:04:53,550 --> 00:04:57,190
- Yeah, all the time.
(awestruck music)
99
00:04:57,189 --> 00:04:59,839
- I love soccer.
100
00:04:59,837 --> 00:05:01,847
- You don't really, do you?
101
00:05:01,845 --> 00:05:04,755
- No, but I'm assuming signed jerseys
102
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:06,690
is a pretty good Christmas present.
103
00:05:06,690 --> 00:05:09,210
- I'll tell you who
his favorite player is.
104
00:05:09,205 --> 00:05:14,205
(awestruck music)
(people chatting)
105
00:05:20,296 --> 00:05:22,456
- You guys excited?
- Yeah!
106
00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:28,906
(plastic thudding)
(pleasant music)
107
00:05:31,148 --> 00:05:34,098
(cowbell clanking)
- Oh, come on, cowbell.
108
00:05:34,104 --> 00:05:36,854
(pleasant music)
109
00:05:40,138 --> 00:05:45,138
(plastic clacking)
(pleasant music)
110
00:05:46,090 --> 00:05:47,510
Come on, man, these have to be legal.
111
00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:49,610
I see them all the time at soccer games.
112
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:51,200
You know, they're waving them around.
113
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:54,470
- Smoke flares are the most
prohibited thing you've got.
114
00:05:54,469 --> 00:05:57,749
(people chatting)
(pleasant music)
115
00:05:57,748 --> 00:06:00,488
- Uncle Danny, do you even
know what prohibited means?
116
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:05,494
- Yes.
(pleasant music)
117
00:06:08,412 --> 00:06:13,412
Is that it?
(pleasant music)
118
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:22,320
Hey guys, we'll grab
some hot dogs, popcorn,
119
00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:23,310
whatever you want.
120
00:06:23,310 --> 00:06:26,280
First.
(clandestine music)
121
00:06:26,284 --> 00:06:27,874
- Uncle Dan!
- Cool!
122
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:30,726
(clandestine music)
- Should I go.
123
00:06:30,730 --> 00:06:32,040
- Sure.
- Yeah!
124
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:37,040
- All right, ready?
(clandestine music)
125
00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:39,410
This is gonna be so cool.
(lighter flicking)
126
00:06:39,414 --> 00:06:41,594
(firework hissing)
- Whoa!
127
00:06:41,592 --> 00:06:42,562
(firework hissing)
- Okay, guys.
128
00:06:44,842 --> 00:06:48,112
- No!
(upbeat music)
129
00:06:48,114 --> 00:06:49,234
- Whoa!
(upbeat music)
130
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:51,254
- Cool, right?
- Yeah, it looks bad.
131
00:06:51,248 --> 00:06:55,828
(upbeat music)
(firework hissing)
132
00:06:55,830 --> 00:06:59,900
- Guys, it's getting pretty smoky in here.
133
00:06:59,903 --> 00:07:01,313
That's a lot of smoke.
134
00:07:01,310 --> 00:07:03,570
Guys, let's bail. We gotta get outta here.
135
00:07:03,572 --> 00:07:07,992
(upbeat music)
- Go, go, go, go, go!
136
00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:13,900
Come on!
(upbeat music)
137
00:07:15,912 --> 00:07:18,032
Sign this.
- Can you sign this for me?
138
00:07:18,026 --> 00:07:20,606
(upbeat music)
139
00:07:23,597 --> 00:07:28,597
He signed it, look!
(upbeat music)
140
00:07:33,301 --> 00:07:36,061
- You'll never take us alive, ha ha ha ha!
141
00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:41,060
(Dan yelping)
(upbeat music)
142
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,490
- Oh, thank you. I promise
I won't do it again.
143
00:07:54,490 --> 00:07:56,640
Scout's honor. Let's
get the heck outta here.
144
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,170
(kids laughing)
145
00:07:59,167 --> 00:08:04,167
(spectators chatting)
(pleasant music)
146
00:08:11,332 --> 00:08:16,332
Ooo, nice kick!
(pleasant music)
147
00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:23,065
(whistle tweeting)
(spectators chatting)
148
00:08:23,299 --> 00:08:28,299
(players shouting)
(pleasant music)
149
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,220
So, this little incident today,
150
00:08:35,221 --> 00:08:37,071
I don't think we really need
to tell your parents about it.
151
00:08:37,068 --> 00:08:39,548
- What's in it for us?
- Yeah.
152
00:08:39,549 --> 00:08:44,549
(spectators cheering)
(pleasant music)
153
00:08:55,269 --> 00:09:00,269
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
154
00:09:01,093 --> 00:09:06,093
(dramatic music)
(car engines revving)
155
00:09:06,740 --> 00:09:09,310
(explosion booming)
- [Kids] Cool!
156
00:09:09,309 --> 00:09:13,979
(dramatic music)
(machine gun firing)
157
00:09:13,982 --> 00:09:17,072
(intense rock music)
11563
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