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>> And that's where babies
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come from.
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>> All right.
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>> Oh, Kevin, now this is you.
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>> All right, cool.
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Well, see y'all.
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>> Bye, man.
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>> Peace.
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>> Peace.
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>> I'm really hungry.
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>> Yeah, me too, actually.
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I think I'd like a burger.
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>> I'd like a cheeseburger.
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>> It's unlocked.
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(both laughing)
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>> This can't be happening,
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this can't be happening.
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(both giggling)
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>> (laughing menacingly)
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>> Hey, man.
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>> No, no!
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>> Why'd you put this
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on Facebook?
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>> (laughing menacingly)
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>> They couldn't have got my
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Twitter.
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I... I can't get in!
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>> Welcome to customer support.
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Please press one...
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>> Representative.
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>> Please press two if...
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>> Representative.
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Please, please, please,
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please, shut off,
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shut off my phone, please.
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>> Kevin.
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I think it's-- think it's
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too late.
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Hey, man.
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**
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(doorbell ringing)
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(phone ringing)
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(ringing continues)
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(ringing continues)
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>> What do you want?!
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You monsters!
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>> Just wanted you to put your
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phone on your face because
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I rubbed it on my balls.
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(laughing)
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>> (screaming)
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**
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>> What up, Andy?
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>> Yo, we're alive, dude.
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>> Look-- hey, guys,
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hey, fellas, the jig is up.
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I just told Andy that we're,
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we're real, we're live now, man,
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we're free.
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Y'all can come out now.
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>> This has Lucas Brothering
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The Movies.
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**
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>> Ahh!
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>> Hey, what's up, everybody?
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I'm Master P.
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And this is "Master P-Wee's
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Playhouse."
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>> Yay!
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>> No Limit Records.
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We define the children's
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entertainment game.
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Hit 'em again.
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>> No Limit!
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>> Stop.
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I'm about to make y'all
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say the word today.
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Know what that word is?
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Uhh...
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>> Uhh!
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>> When you make someone say,
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"Uhh," it's because you've
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really impressed them with how
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cool you are, right, Master P.?
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>> You damn right, you weird ass
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talking chair.
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Also, it means
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a dirty south beat.
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>> Ow.
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>> Oh, snap.
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What's up, Silk the Sock Puppet?
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Yo, I was just saying how great
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and special of a day today is.
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>> Why, Master P-Wee?
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>> Well, it's 'cause we 'bout to
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tell all these children how to
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make gold grills.
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>> Yay!
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>> I love gold grills, P.
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(doorbell ringing)
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>> Neh-nah, neh-nah.
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>> Oh, snap, it's the mailman,
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always coming in unannounced.
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Like we friends or something.
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What's up, baby?
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>> Did I hear that somebody's
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making some fly-ass gold grills?
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>> Yeah, yeah, we making
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gold grills.
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>> Well, I have this letter here
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from the Kings of Gold that say,
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they've actually banned
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gold grills.
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(all gasping)
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>> Say it ain't so,
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Master P-Wee.
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>> Ay yo, Robot, chill out, man,
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we about to make these gold
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grills anyhow.
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I'm about to call up the Kings
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of Gold right now.
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>> But what if that doesn't
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work, Master P-Wee?
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>> Ay yo, Robot?
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I need you to chill out, a'ight?
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Check this out.
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Yo, Kings of Gold, come in here!
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>> What it do, Master P-Wee?
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>> What's up, baby?
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How y'all doing?
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>> What's up?
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>> How you doing?
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>> So we got your message.
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What's up?
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>> Well, you know, this letter
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here is saying that y'all done
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banned gold for the day,
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which is a problem.
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'Cause we about to teach all
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these kids how to make gold
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grills.
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>> Come over here
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to Mystikal The Merlin.
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We'll settle this out.
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Mystikal The Merlin,
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did you write this?
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>> Hmm.
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(speaking gibberish)
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>> Mystikal The Merlin doesn't
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make any sense.
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>> We didn't ban gold.
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It's free gold grills for
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everybody!
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>> Yay!
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>> Hey, y'all heard the man.
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Take these gold grills,
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y'all make 'em say uhh.
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Join us next week when we learn
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how to bust C-Murder
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out of prison.
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>> Yay!
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**
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>> Yo, so I'm here with the cast
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and, uh, our buddy, Justin, who
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we just met and, uh, Josh
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challenged Justin to a belt-off.
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>> Belt-off.
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>> What Josh believes he's the
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best at in the world is, uh,
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taking off his belt and putting
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it back on his body.
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>> Very quickly.
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>> It's very stupid.
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On your mark, get set... go!
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**
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>> You're almost there, Josh,
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come on, come on,
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come on, come on.
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Come on!
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>> Oh!
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>> He won.
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>> Go.
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>> Justin.
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>> Oh, it got stuck.
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>> Justin, Justin...
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>> Ahh!
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(laughing and whooping)
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>> Go.
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>> Oh, oh, oh!
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Come on.
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>> Josh, wait.
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>> Oh, oh, oh.
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(all whooping)
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(all shouting)
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>> You're a winner and are still
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champion of the belt thing.
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>> I was able to win before he
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even had ever done this before,
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and then after he tried it once,
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he won every other time.
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>> All right, so we are
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the Kings of Gold from, uh,
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No Limit Land.
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And there can only be one
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King of Gold.
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So we're gonna slap box
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to determine
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who that King of Gold is.
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(boxing bell dings)
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>> Oh!
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>> I got you, I got you.
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(boxing bell dings)
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>> Oh!
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>> That's one for Kenny.
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(boxing bell dings)
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(bell dinging)
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>> That was easy.
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Am I the King of Gold?
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>> Whoo!
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>> Oh-ho, you got me.
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(chuckling)
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>> What are you doing, man?
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>> Oh, I... tapped you on your
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right so you...
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>> No, I-- I know what
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you're doing.
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But it's like... why?
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But even if it worked,
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you know, like...
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What's the upside?
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>> That you looked
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the wrong way.
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And then I'd be over here,
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so you'd be like...
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>> And that's funny to you?
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>> I don't know, I guess.
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(chuckling)
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Drop it like it's hot!
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(laughing)
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>> What are you doing, man?
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>> It's a song.
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>> No, I know the song.
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But why?
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>> Because you dropped
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something.
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>> Well... why wouldn't
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you just say,
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"Hey, you dropped something"?
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>> Well, I just hear a lot
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of people say, "Drop it
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like it's hot."
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So, I just thought that--
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>> That I'd laugh?
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>> Yeah.
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>> I didn't.
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Stu, people hate people who
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do the things you're doing.
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Did you know that?
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>> I don't know, I don't know.
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I just, I just... I, I, I...
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I just--
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>> Spit it out.
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>> I just try to be myself.
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>> Don't.
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Some people should be themselves
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and other people shouldn't.
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Stu, if this is who you are...
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change.
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>> You're right, I'm--
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I'm sorry, I've been
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so annoying, I--
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>> No.
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Don't apologize to me.
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Apologize to everyone
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in this office.
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>> I'm sorry I've bothered you.
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I'm gonna change.
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Ooh, ooh.
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Do I make you horny, babies?!
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Come on.
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>> Dogs, we all love 'em.
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>> Loyal, shaggy, right?
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>> Wrong!
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Dogs are dangerous.
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>> They can't be trusted.
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>> Did you know that dogs can't
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even talk or ask questions?
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>> Dogs have no moral congress.
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>> Did you know that dogs can
290
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,881
leap up to 40 feet in the air,
291
00:10:43,877 --> 00:10:45,347
although no man has seen it
292
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:47,945
before, and lived?
293
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:49,748
>> They're relentless butchers
294
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,280
with an insatiable appetite
295
00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,794
for destruction.
296
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:54,116
>> Look at my hand.
297
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:56,121
A dog bit me yesterday!
298
00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:57,093
>> Bit him.
299
00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:57,960
Dogs ain't got no insurance
300
00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,058
cards.
301
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,029
>> They ain't got no (bleep)
302
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:00,887
insurance!
303
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,134
>> And with your help, we will
304
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:04,559
launch all dogs into the sun.
305
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:09,071
>> They got us flanked
306
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:10,469
on both sides, it's over.
307
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:11,600
>> It's not over, man.
308
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:12,574
We got one more option.
309
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:13,242
We can go straight
310
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:13,970
up the middle.
311
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:14,714
>> All right, let's go.
312
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:15,378
>> No, wait, wait.
313
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:16,075
Before we go,
314
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:17,236
I have to tell you something.
315
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:18,414
>> You love me?
316
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:19,611
>> No, I wasn't gonna say that.
317
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:20,552
But that works.
318
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:21,407
You wanna go?
319
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:22,224
>> All right.
320
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:25,617
>> Ahh!
321
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:28,124
>> Ahh!
322
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:29,221
>> Ohh!
323
00:11:32,259 --> 00:11:35,199
**
324
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:43,900
>> I got hit!
325
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:44,774
>> Oh, man.
326
00:11:44,772 --> 00:11:45,612
You all right, man?
327
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:46,435
Can you feel your legs?
328
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:47,269
>> I can feel my legs,
329
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:48,114
it's laser tag.
330
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:48,978
>> You wiener heads
331
00:11:48,976 --> 00:11:49,936
suck at everything.
332
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,113
>> At least we didn't fart,
333
00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:51,781
you fart monster!
334
00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:52,809
>> Whatever, turd brains!
335
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,083
>> Yo a turd brain!
336
00:11:54,081 --> 00:11:54,981
>> Hey.
337
00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:55,752
>> Huh?
338
00:11:55,749 --> 00:11:56,449
>> Take it easy.
339
00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:57,619
>> What now, fat boy,
340
00:11:57,617 --> 00:11:58,447
you gonna cry?
341
00:11:58,451 --> 00:11:59,951
>> Oh, I hate that kid.
342
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,253
>> Uh, we're not gonna beat him
343
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:02,124
at laser tag, so we should do
344
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:02,922
something else.
345
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:03,623
I got an idea.
346
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:05,163
>> Ah-la-la-la!
347
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,860
Hey, where did those
348
00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:09,962
dick farts go?
349
00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:12,833
**
350
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,468
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
351
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:17,299
What are you doing?
352
00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:18,474
This is my birthday party!
353
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,741
>> Who's a turd brain now?
354
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:29,778
>> Curse you Lucas Bros!
355
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,385
>> Wow, Gary, we're here.
356
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:40,630
The Big Apple, New York City.
357
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:42,797
Picture-- oh.
358
00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:43,696
Excuse me, I'm sorry
359
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:44,396
about that.
360
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:45,627
(chuckling)
361
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:48,172
Oh, this is so exciting.
362
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,698
Yes, look at me.
363
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,173
I'm doing it big, Mama,
364
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,542
look at me.
365
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:55,541
Sorry about that.
366
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:56,342
(chuckling)
367
00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:57,413
>> Yo, dude, do you wanna just
368
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:58,380
take a picture?
369
00:12:58,378 --> 00:12:59,648
>> No, okay, that's what
370
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:00,976
the selfie stick is for.
371
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,851
Wake up, come on!
372
00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:04,220
Jesus Christ.
373
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:14,063
**
374
00:13:14,061 --> 00:13:16,431
>> Stop selfie sticks today.
375
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:17,529
But don't murder people
376
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:18,430
in public.
377
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:19,931
Paid for by the Association
378
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,033
of Regretful Murders.
379
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:27,573
>> What's up, Tony?
380
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:29,084
See that game last night?
381
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:32,781
All right, Chauncey,
382
00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:34,049
what would you like to eat
383
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:36,217
for your last meal?
384
00:13:36,216 --> 00:13:39,886
>> I've done terrible things,
385
00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:43,557
Officer Conkins.
386
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:47,726
I've killed so many people.
387
00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:48,797
I don't deserve to see
388
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:51,125
another day.
389
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:54,471
So, for my last meal,
390
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,267
I'll just eat a plate
391
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:58,309
of "sallman."
392
00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:01,405
>> "Sallman"?
393
00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:02,308
Chauncey, you know it's
394
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:03,839
pronounced salmon, right?
395
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,478
>> (giggling)
396
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,480
>> What are you drawing, nerd?
397
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:11,452
>> Well, I'm just drawing me
398
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:12,721
a nice "sallman."
399
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,119
(all chuckling)
400
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:14,991
>> Hey, Chauncey, what color's
401
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:17,458
my sweatshirt?
402
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:18,427
>> It's hard to tell in the sun,
403
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:19,255
but it might be pink
404
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:20,329
or a little orange.
405
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:21,157
Probably in the "sallman"
406
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:22,461
family.
407
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,132
>> Let's crush this dope.
408
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:25,401
>> Oh, oh!
409
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:27,699
>> I don't believe you got us
410
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:28,844
a reservation here.
411
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:29,895
>> Right.
412
00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:31,143
(sighing)
413
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,168
But you know one thing that
414
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:33,072
would make this night even
415
00:14:33,073 --> 00:14:34,813
better?
416
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:37,837
Is if you...
417
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:39,184
marry me.
418
00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:41,109
>> Yes, yes, Chauncey.
419
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,084
>> Come here.
420
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:42,952
>> I love you so much.
421
00:14:42,950 --> 00:14:43,950
>> I love you, too, Carol.
422
00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:44,851
Mwah.
423
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,091
>> (laughing)
424
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:48,456
Oh, wow.
425
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:49,355
>> You two ready to order?
426
00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:51,016
>> Yup. (chuckling)
427
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,594
>> What can I get for you, sir?
428
00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:53,762
>> You know what?
429
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,360
I think I'll have the "sallman."
430
00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:57,832
>> (coughing)
431
00:14:57,830 --> 00:14:58,970
What'd you say?
432
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:00,526
>> I said the "sallman."
433
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:01,473
>> (coughing)
434
00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:02,368
>> She's choking!
435
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:03,499
Carol's choking!
436
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:04,773
Does anyone know CPR?
437
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:07,041
Does anyone here know CPR?
438
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,040
Carol!
439
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,711
>> (gagging)
440
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:11,039
>> No!
441
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:11,954
(sobbing)
442
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,775
>> You killed her!
443
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:15,450
>> How?
444
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:16,678
>> Go!
445
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:17,723
Get out of here!
446
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,017
Get out of here and never
447
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:19,992
come back!
448
00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:20,847
>> (Chauncey crying)
449
00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:22,663
(grunts)
450
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:23,689
Shh-shh-shh.
451
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:24,890
>> Chauncey!
452
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:26,491
>> Yeah, you call me, sir?
453
00:15:26,493 --> 00:15:28,163
>> Yes, I did.
454
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:29,561
Look here, man, your work here
455
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:31,062
has not gone unnoticed,
456
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:32,634
and you're doing a great job.
457
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:33,502
I'm proud of you.
458
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:34,470
And just for that,
459
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:35,397
I'ma take you to lunch.
460
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:36,242
Lunch is on me.
461
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:37,136
How 'bout that, huh?
462
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:38,307
You want chicken, pasta, beef?
463
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:39,235
What you want?
464
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:40,339
>> Those dishes do
465
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,140
sound delightful, I--
466
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:42,411
You know, I'll just have nice
467
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:43,979
plate of "sallman."
468
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:49,384
>> (snickering)
469
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:50,582
>> What?
470
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:51,583
>> Hey, come here, y'all.
471
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:52,424
It's nothing.
472
00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:53,189
Come here.
473
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,086
>> Why you bringing the fish
474
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:54,817
burgers over here?
475
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:58,191
>> What type of fish do we ship?
476
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,091
>> It's pretty simple, we,
477
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,063
we ship "sallman."
478
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:05,232
(laughter)
479
00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:09,572
Why, why...
480
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:12,239
Why are you laughing at me?!
481
00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:13,839
Stop!
482
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:15,380
Just stop!
483
00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:16,735
Ahh!
484
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:27,953
Oh, my God.
485
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:30,264
Conkins!
486
00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:32,087
I've been pronouncing it
487
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,862
all wrong.
488
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:37,630
I've been saying "sallman" when
489
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:43,300
it's really pronounced salmon.
490
00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:44,373
I wish I knew.
491
00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:50,737
I mean, maybe if I had better
492
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:52,053
parents or, you know--
493
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:54,305
Ahh!
494
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,254
Oh!
495
00:16:58,318 --> 00:16:59,618
>> Hey, would you mind taking
496
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,249
a picture of us?
497
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:02,094
Great.
498
00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:02,989
>> It's a selfie stick.
499
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:04,059
You gotta turn it around.
500
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:05,127
You gotta-- no, not that...
501
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:05,955
>> No, you turn it around.
502
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:06,758
>> You physically turn around.
503
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:07,629
>> You have to turn your body
504
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:08,457
around.
505
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:09,301
>> You turn this way and then
506
00:17:09,296 --> 00:17:09,996
pull the stick out.
507
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:11,096
Like you gotta be...
508
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:12,598
>> Like a 180.
509
00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:13,599
>> Just take it.
510
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:14,400
>> Yeah, you can take it.
511
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:15,101
>> How about this, how about
512
00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:16,672
everyone just go behind him?
513
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:17,669
>> There we go, now you,
514
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:19,640
now you pull it up.
515
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,139
>> Oh, there we go.
516
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:22,441
>> Just duck, like hold it up
517
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:23,342
but duck, just him.
518
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:24,743
We stay up, you duck.
519
00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:25,514
>> Oh, so he's out?
520
00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:27,252
>> Block his face?
521
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:35,492
>> * I say they so damn cool
522
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,318
* And they so damn school
523
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:40,864
* The cool young black doctors
524
00:17:40,860 --> 00:17:43,230
* The cool young black doctors
525
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,103
* I said they're young
526
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:45,967
* They're black
527
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:47,495
* And you won't get jacked
528
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:48,600
* Why?
529
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:49,501
* 'Cause they cool
530
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,342
* Young black doctors
531
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:52,968
* Cool young black doctors
532
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:55,814
>> Ahh!
533
00:17:57,844 --> 00:17:58,854
Hey, what's up, everybody?
534
00:17:58,845 --> 00:17:59,975
I'm Master P.
535
00:17:59,979 --> 00:18:01,049
And this another edition of
536
00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:02,517
"Master P-Wee's Playhouse."
537
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:03,845
>> Yay!
538
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,850
>> A'ight, today we learn how to
539
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,452
freestyle rap battle.
540
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,064
Clock, explain what that is to
541
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,015
the kids at home.
542
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:11,722
>> Freestyle rap battle is when
543
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:13,564
you rhyme insults to humiliate
544
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,990
someone in front of an audience.
545
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:16,064
>> A'ight.
546
00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:17,562
And for today's battle, we got
547
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:19,874
Silk the Sock Puppet versus
548
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:21,496
Mystikal The Merlin.
549
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:22,574
>> Oh!
550
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,069
>> A'ight, yo, battle.
551
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:26,640
>> (speaking gibberish)
552
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:27,669
Sock, sock, sock!
553
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,707
Hey, sock, you are sock!
554
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:32,749
Sock!
555
00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:35,245
>> Boy, you suck, you suck!
556
00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:36,378
>> A'ight, a'ight, a'ight.
557
00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:37,423
That's enough, y'all.
558
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:39,417
Kids, let this be a lesson.
559
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:40,689
If y'all bring weak flow
560
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:42,047
like Mystikal The Merlin,
561
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,264
y'all gonna get booed.
562
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:44,686
Silk, respond.
563
00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:45,861
>> Mystikal The Merlin,
564
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:47,028
what the (bleep) you say?
565
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:47,886
All that magic,
566
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:49,034
you still talk that way?
567
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:50,058
I can't hear your raps.
568
00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:51,162
What's up with that?
569
00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:52,234
Y'all couldn't understand,
570
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:53,072
I just know that (bleep)
571
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:53,865
was trash.
572
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,496
>> Ooh!
573
00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:56,572
>> A'ight, a'ight.
574
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,099
Yo, that's enough, a'ight?
575
00:18:58,104 --> 00:18:59,444
Now it may look like Silk
576
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,339
the Sock Puppet destroyed
577
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,111
Mystikal The Merlin.
578
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:04,839
Problem is, Silk the Sock Puppet
579
00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:06,414
used a dirty word.
580
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:07,913
So he's disqualified.
581
00:19:07,914 --> 00:19:09,254
>> Oh.
582
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:11,219
>> Ohh...
583
00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:12,918
>> But also, Mystikal
584
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,349
The Merlin, he ain't gonna win
585
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:16,394
'cause what he did sucked.
586
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:17,259
So I win!
587
00:19:17,257 --> 00:19:18,957
Master P. is the winner, y'all!
588
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:20,588
>> Yay!
589
00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:21,433
>> A'ight.
590
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:23,928
>> Not so fast.
591
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:25,400
>> Pee-wee Herman?
592
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:26,598
>> That's right, it's me.
593
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:27,629
Pee-wee Herman.
594
00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,604
You gotta stop talking to each
595
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:30,942
other so disrespectfully.
596
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,437
You gotta be loving.
597
00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:34,769
So what if Merlin talks and raps
598
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:35,944
like he has a pile of (bleep) in
599
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:36,942
his mouth?
600
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,283
And who cares if this (bleep)
601
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,779
clock thing looks like
602
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,580
a (bleep) with (bleep)?
603
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,452
And so what if this thing looks
604
00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:45,991
like R2-D2 (bleep) my air
605
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:47,815
conditioner and (bleep) nothing
606
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:48,890
looks like every (bleep)
607
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,258
Kim Kardashian ever (bleep).
608
00:19:50,257 --> 00:19:51,387
Big deal.
609
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:52,961
No reason to use salty language
610
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:53,929
and insult each other
611
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:54,726
for Pete's sake.
612
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:55,757
>> Damn, Pee-wee--
613
00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:56,662
>> Shut up.
614
00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:58,003
You over-the-hill (bleep)
615
00:19:57,997 --> 00:19:58,967
nothing, you never were
616
00:19:58,965 --> 00:19:59,795
any good.
617
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:00,969
The next time you wanna talk,
618
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:02,237
you know what you ought to do?
619
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:04,035
(bleep) my (bleep) the (bleep).
620
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:09,413
**
621
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:11,980
>> We just wrapped the sketch.
622
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:13,148
And so we're gonna have these,
623
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:15,145
uh, 18th century-style
624
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,317
laser duels.
625
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,016
>> The token white man
626
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:19,147
introduces the sketch.
627
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:20,321
>> Yeah, Josh has
628
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,690
introduced every single
629
00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:23,158
behind-the-scenes...
630
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,485
>> Here we go, look, I'll be
631
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:25,661
introducing this next
632
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:26,828
behind-the-scenes fun thing we
633
00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:27,656
about to do...
634
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:28,600
(laughter)
635
00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:30,155
>> Stop.
636
00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:32,032
A lot of us is laser tag fans!
637
00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:33,201
>> Man, you taking too long
638
00:20:33,199 --> 00:20:33,999
man.
639
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,000
>> Would y'all stop shooting?
640
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:35,841
>> See, this is why they made
641
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:36,665
Josh do it.
642
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,169
>> What, are we rolling?
643
00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:39,610
One...
644
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:41,306
two...
645
00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:42,108
three...
646
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:42,938
>> Okay, wait, Jen, that's
647
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:44,312
too slow, come on, man.
648
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:46,654
>> One, two...
649
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:50,546
One, two-- Josh, attack again.
650
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:54,490
One, two, three, four, five, go!
651
00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:55,857
>> Kill, kill!
652
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:56,955
>> There, I got you.
653
00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:57,856
>> No, you didn't.
654
00:20:57,857 --> 00:20:58,687
>> I buzzed, homey.
655
00:20:58,691 --> 00:20:59,891
Oh, sh-- I think you got me.
656
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:01,232
>> I got you, you're done, yeah.
657
00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:04,157
>> I don't know, did you?
658
00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:05,373
Man, this sucks.
39144
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