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00:00:17,648 --> 00:00:22,648
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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00:00:56,597 --> 00:01:00,134
Good morning, good
morning, how we doing?
3
00:01:01,268 --> 00:01:03,103
Let's turn our
books to page 394.
4
00:01:03,137 --> 00:01:06,373
So this is the equation we're
dealing with today, all right.
5
00:01:06,406 --> 00:01:09,109
So I want you to listen up,
this is not an easy one.
6
00:01:09,143 --> 00:01:10,344
Yeah, Megan?
7
00:01:10,378 --> 00:01:11,646
May I
use the restroom?
8
00:01:11,679 --> 00:01:13,414
Yeah, make it quick.
9
00:01:13,447 --> 00:01:15,216
All right, quiet down.
10
00:01:15,248 --> 00:01:18,218
394, so interpreting
a velocity function.
11
00:01:18,251 --> 00:01:21,588
Hey guys quiet, 390,
can you turn around
12
00:01:22,822 --> 00:01:25,025
and open your book
please, thank you.
13
00:01:26,192 --> 00:01:27,361
Yes.
14
00:01:27,394 --> 00:01:28,862
Boys, slow down!
15
00:01:28,896 --> 00:01:30,899
Hey Sam will you close that up
and get to class, thank you!
16
00:03:12,032 --> 00:03:13,635
What was that!
17
00:03:26,146 --> 00:03:29,516
♪ I know I'm out of my mind ♪
18
00:03:29,550 --> 00:03:33,454
♪ I know I'm crazy ♪
19
00:03:33,486 --> 00:03:37,191
♪ I'm always living some life ♪
20
00:03:37,223 --> 00:03:39,060
♪ And I'm not sorry ♪
21
00:03:40,527 --> 00:03:44,431
Hello everybody good
morning, it's Jenna Ross here.
22
00:03:44,465 --> 00:03:46,334
If you've been following
my blog thank you.
23
00:03:46,366 --> 00:03:48,468
I'm up to 10,000 followers.
24
00:03:48,502 --> 00:03:50,471
I appreciate you and
your comments so much
25
00:03:50,503 --> 00:03:52,239
and if you're a new fan, hi.
26
00:03:52,272 --> 00:03:53,807
It's nice to meet you.
27
00:03:53,841 --> 00:03:56,978
I'm 18 and I'm a
freshman in college.
28
00:03:57,010 --> 00:04:00,847
This is my dorm room
where the magic happens,
29
00:04:00,881 --> 00:04:02,817
by magic I mean homework.
30
00:04:02,849 --> 00:04:04,951
Okay guess which side
is mine you guys?
31
00:04:04,985 --> 00:04:07,555
I'm a neat freak
for the new fans.
32
00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:14,762
So today we're not gonna
talk about the usual stuff
33
00:04:14,794 --> 00:04:16,863
that we talk about which
is politics, gun control,
34
00:04:16,896 --> 00:04:19,867
the environment, instead we're
gonna talk about something
35
00:04:19,899 --> 00:04:22,068
that hurts my heart very much.
36
00:04:22,101 --> 00:04:24,538
Three nights ago a 14-year-old
from my high school
37
00:04:24,572 --> 00:04:26,406
took his own life.
38
00:04:26,439 --> 00:04:27,942
He was a freshmen.
39
00:04:27,975 --> 00:04:30,945
In just the last two days
I have seen two teenagers
40
00:04:30,978 --> 00:04:33,915
commit suicide live
on social media.
41
00:04:33,947 --> 00:04:36,883
This is just heartbreaking
and I couldn't even watch it.
42
00:04:36,916 --> 00:04:40,220
It's horrible to hear about
people taking their own lives,
43
00:04:40,254 --> 00:04:42,123
especially teenagers.
44
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:44,257
I'm making these videos
today to raise awareness
45
00:04:44,290 --> 00:04:45,793
in this country.
46
00:04:45,826 --> 00:04:48,162
Kids aren't just committing
suicide because they're gay
47
00:04:48,194 --> 00:04:49,663
or because they're bullied.
48
00:04:49,697 --> 00:04:53,000
There are other things too but
nobody's talking about them.
49
00:04:53,033 --> 00:04:54,468
So I'm gonna.
50
00:04:55,903 --> 00:04:58,406
It's the pressure from the
parents and the school.
51
00:04:58,439 --> 00:05:00,040
The amount of stress that
a student goes through
52
00:05:00,074 --> 00:05:02,009
in this country is ridiculous.
53
00:05:02,041 --> 00:05:03,510
Do you know how
much pressure it is
54
00:05:03,543 --> 00:05:05,712
to get into a good college now?
55
00:05:05,745 --> 00:05:09,649
I had to maintain good
grades, no, not good grades,
56
00:05:09,682 --> 00:05:11,685
perfect grades.
57
00:05:11,718 --> 00:05:13,887
It just shouldn't take
kids committing suicide
58
00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,858
for the stress levels and
homework levels to go down.
59
00:05:18,024 --> 00:05:19,826
We need to spread
awareness you guys
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00:05:19,860 --> 00:05:21,295
and get this message out.
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00:05:21,327 --> 00:05:23,663
Share it with your
friends, your family,
62
00:05:23,697 --> 00:05:25,833
post this video on Facebook.
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00:05:25,865 --> 00:05:28,802
Click like and write
your comments below.
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00:05:28,836 --> 00:05:31,105
We can't lose anymore
teens to something
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00:05:31,137 --> 00:05:33,608
that is so easily preventable.
66
00:05:34,574 --> 00:05:36,009
All right guys so keep watching,
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00:05:36,043 --> 00:05:37,545
I'll be posting all day but I'm
changing it up a little bit.
68
00:05:37,577 --> 00:05:39,613
I'm doing something
I've never done before.
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00:05:39,646 --> 00:05:43,084
No edits, no cutting,
just real Jenna.
70
00:05:43,117 --> 00:05:46,187
Thank you for listening,
I'm Jenna Ross,
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00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,223
have a beautiful day.
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00:05:49,490 --> 00:05:51,859
Oh please don't
forget to comment.
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00:05:53,026 --> 00:05:55,430
I love hearing from
all of you, okay.
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00:05:56,697 --> 00:05:57,531
Bye guys.
75
00:05:59,867 --> 00:06:03,137
Hello everyone, I'm
Nick Meyer, I'm 17
76
00:06:04,504 --> 00:06:06,740
and this is my first video.
77
00:06:09,576 --> 00:06:12,980
So today's my second
week in my new school.
78
00:06:14,447 --> 00:06:16,283
It's an all boys school.
79
00:06:18,351 --> 00:06:20,687
Which is way different
than my other school.
80
00:06:22,355 --> 00:06:24,024
I'm a little nervous
to be honest.
81
00:06:25,959 --> 00:06:28,562
But today is a great
day because my parents
82
00:06:28,595 --> 00:06:30,898
finally came around and they
gave me back my cellphone
83
00:06:30,930 --> 00:06:33,467
which allows me back
on social media.
84
00:06:34,634 --> 00:06:35,870
I've been grounded
from all that stuff
85
00:06:35,903 --> 00:06:39,140
for like a month now.
86
00:06:39,173 --> 00:06:42,377
It's been really hard not
being on social media.
87
00:06:43,810 --> 00:06:46,447
It was like the loneliest
time of my life actually
88
00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,816
because I look to that
stuff for support, you know?
89
00:06:49,783 --> 00:06:50,685
What's up freak?
90
00:06:50,718 --> 00:06:52,186
What the fuck you got there man.
91
00:06:52,218 --> 00:06:53,553
Okay, stop, stop, stop,
stop, stop, please, please.
92
00:06:55,021 --> 00:06:56,790
Jesus we have a stream
here. You got a lot of viewers
93
00:06:56,824 --> 00:06:58,526
What's up faggots?
94
00:06:58,559 --> 00:07:00,528
Hi, how you fucking doing?
95
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,796
- You wanna play with this?
- What you got going on here?
96
00:07:02,829 --> 00:07:04,531
These are all your
faggot ass friends
97
00:07:04,564 --> 00:07:06,500
who is watching your videos,
is that what's going on?
98
00:07:06,533 --> 00:07:07,968
Say hi.
99
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:08,902
Hey guys, let's get a
little selfie going on huh?
100
00:07:08,935 --> 00:07:09,936
Come on you guys please.
101
00:07:09,970 --> 00:07:11,439
You know I like you two, huh?
102
00:07:11,471 --> 00:07:13,274
- Let's see what's going on.
- I like it it's a good thing.
103
00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:14,742
Let's see what's going on.
104
00:07:14,774 --> 00:07:15,975
You think it's
gonna hurt worse
105
00:07:16,009 --> 00:07:17,311
- when I shatter you jaw
- Straighten his tie up
106
00:07:17,343 --> 00:07:19,012
or the therapy afterwards?
a little bit.
107
00:07:22,216 --> 00:07:24,085
What you got
something to say, huh?
108
00:07:25,786 --> 00:07:27,088
There we go.
109
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:29,022
You're fucking
dead after school.
110
00:07:30,357 --> 00:07:33,427
And I hope all you
guys get to watch.
111
00:07:35,461 --> 00:07:37,564
- Let's get out of here.
- See you.
112
00:07:39,399 --> 00:07:41,368
Hey guys it's Jenna
Ross here again.
113
00:07:41,401 --> 00:07:43,103
I just read all of your comments
114
00:07:43,137 --> 00:07:45,939
and I'm really sorry if
I offended some of you,
115
00:07:45,973 --> 00:07:49,076
that was not my intention.
116
00:07:49,108 --> 00:07:51,077
I hear what you guys are saying
about the bullying issue,
117
00:07:51,110 --> 00:07:54,814
trust me I do, I saw it
high school everyday.
118
00:07:54,848 --> 00:07:58,252
I see it on campus, I see
it online, it's disgusting
119
00:07:58,285 --> 00:08:01,655
and I do everything in
my power to stop it.
120
00:08:01,687 --> 00:08:03,757
All I'm saying is that
there are teenagers
121
00:08:03,790 --> 00:08:06,493
that are committing suicide
that are not being bullied,
122
00:08:06,526 --> 00:08:07,461
that's all.
123
00:08:09,096 --> 00:08:11,598
Did you know that suicide
is the third leading cause
124
00:08:11,632 --> 00:08:13,867
of death in all teenagers?
125
00:08:13,901 --> 00:08:15,668
Did you also know that according
126
00:08:15,701 --> 00:08:17,237
to the American
Psychiatric Association,
127
00:08:17,271 --> 00:08:20,174
almost all teenagers
who are depressed
128
00:08:20,206 --> 00:08:22,776
will attempt suicide
at some time.
129
00:08:22,810 --> 00:08:24,911
I'm gonna list you a
few of the warning signs
130
00:08:24,944 --> 00:08:26,980
you might see from
somebody who's in danger
131
00:08:27,014 --> 00:08:28,983
of committing suicide.
132
00:08:29,016 --> 00:08:32,353
One is talking
frequently about death.
133
00:08:32,385 --> 00:08:34,788
Two, is writing
depressed poetry.
134
00:08:34,822 --> 00:08:37,957
Three is acting out or
changes in their behavior
135
00:08:37,990 --> 00:08:41,194
like partying or doing drugs
when they never have before.
136
00:08:42,729 --> 00:08:45,166
We can't lose anymore
teens to this you guys.
137
00:08:45,198 --> 00:08:48,935
We can end this suicide
craze, I know we can.
138
00:08:51,071 --> 00:08:53,240
Okay, thank you, love you.
139
00:08:55,107 --> 00:08:55,942
Bye.
140
00:09:16,163 --> 00:09:17,597
Do you hear that?
141
00:09:18,865 --> 00:09:21,634
That's my brother,
he's incredible.
142
00:09:21,668 --> 00:09:25,972
♪ I won't call or
leave a note child ♪
143
00:09:26,005 --> 00:09:29,409
♪ Fade away won't
ever see my face ♪
144
00:09:29,442 --> 00:09:33,480
♪ But somehow I love God oh. ♪
145
00:09:33,514 --> 00:09:35,682
- Sounds good in here.
- Thanks.
146
00:09:35,716 --> 00:09:38,085
Yeah, I'm just getting
ready to make a video, so.
147
00:09:38,118 --> 00:09:39,620
- Cool I'll be quiet.
- All right.
148
00:09:44,157 --> 00:09:46,761
Hey guys Brandon
Wade here, fuck.
149
00:09:48,928 --> 00:09:50,497
All right.
150
00:09:50,530 --> 00:09:51,965
Hey guys, Brandon Wade here.
151
00:09:51,999 --> 00:09:54,067
Thank you so much for all the
comments and likes lately,
152
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:55,336
I so appreciate your support.
153
00:09:55,369 --> 00:09:58,404
Here's my newest one,
it's called "Over You,"
154
00:09:58,437 --> 00:09:59,405
it goes like this.
155
00:09:59,438 --> 00:10:01,107
Let me know what you think.
156
00:10:06,078 --> 00:10:09,382
♪ Had a bad dream last
night but it hurts ♪
157
00:10:09,416 --> 00:10:14,422
♪ To open my eyes ♪
158
00:10:15,322 --> 00:10:17,057
♪ I take a little walk outside ♪
159
00:10:17,090 --> 00:10:22,096
♪ Whiskey high
she's on my mind ♪
160
00:10:23,129 --> 00:10:27,467
♪ Tell me how our love got old ♪
161
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:32,072
♪ Tell me and the
storm will be over ♪
162
00:10:32,105 --> 00:10:37,110
♪ Help me oh I'm
taking on water ♪
163
00:10:38,044 --> 00:10:41,881
♪ Drowning in my mind over you ♪
164
00:10:41,914 --> 00:10:44,684
♪ I'm drowning in
my mind over you ♪
165
00:10:48,221 --> 00:10:49,789
My brother's
blowing up right now.
166
00:10:50,823 --> 00:10:53,293
He has like 200,000 followers.
167
00:10:55,461 --> 00:10:57,230
He's kind of a big deal.
168
00:10:58,999 --> 00:11:02,003
But Brandon doesn't care
about any of that shit.
169
00:11:03,302 --> 00:11:05,706
He'd do this everyday
with no followers.
170
00:11:09,308 --> 00:11:11,077
Nothing would stop him.
171
00:11:11,110 --> 00:11:14,514
- James, breakfast is ready!
- Be right down!
172
00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:15,749
- Fuck, Mom,.
- Geeze, I'm sorry
173
00:11:15,782 --> 00:11:17,518
- I didn't know.
- Yeah, well
174
00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:18,953
now I have to do it all over
again, thank you very much.
175
00:11:18,985 --> 00:11:20,187
Well you
should have told me.
176
00:11:20,220 --> 00:11:20,854
All
right, I'm sorry.
177
00:11:20,886 --> 00:11:22,355
Geeze.
178
00:11:22,389 --> 00:11:25,158
This used to happen every
single day when he lived here.
179
00:11:25,192 --> 00:11:26,360
Are you smoking pot?
180
00:11:26,393 --> 00:11:27,894
No I'm
not at all, no.
181
00:11:27,927 --> 00:11:29,730
Brandon, it's 10
a.m., this is what you do
182
00:11:29,763 --> 00:11:32,333
- in L.A. all day?
- No it's not.
183
00:11:32,365 --> 00:11:33,199
God.
184
00:11:36,068 --> 00:11:38,705
Hi everyone, Nick
Meyer here again.
185
00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:43,043
It's lunchtime and
this is pretty much
186
00:11:43,076 --> 00:11:44,579
where I spend all my lunches.
187
00:11:48,248 --> 00:11:51,986
If you think this is bad, gym
class is way worse.
188
00:11:52,019 --> 00:11:53,553
There's no hiding there.
189
00:11:57,323 --> 00:11:58,825
This is worst school yet.
190
00:12:00,126 --> 00:12:02,362
It's really small
only like 100 boys,
191
00:12:03,697 --> 00:12:06,333
so everyone knows
everyone.
192
00:12:17,476 --> 00:12:20,146
Sorry, I don't really
know what to say.
193
00:12:23,549 --> 00:12:27,420
I guess I can start with
why I'm making these videos.
194
00:12:31,658 --> 00:12:34,394
So, when I was a
little boy, my...
195
00:12:35,528 --> 00:12:39,566
- I took the photo.
- Hey this one's broken.
196
00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:42,568
- Yo is someone in there?
- Yeah.
197
00:12:42,601 --> 00:12:44,038
Well, fucking hurry
up, I gotta take a shit
198
00:12:44,071 --> 00:12:45,806
and the other stall's broken.
199
00:12:45,839 --> 00:12:47,141
Sorry, it's gonna be awhile.
200
00:12:47,173 --> 00:12:49,375
- Oh fuck.
- Who's in there?
201
00:12:49,408 --> 00:12:51,345
- Nick.
- Nick Costello
202
00:12:51,378 --> 00:12:54,081
- or Nick the new kid?
- Nick the new kid.
203
00:12:54,114 --> 00:12:56,684
- Oh this guy.
- You're fucking dead faggot!
204
00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:58,952
You're fucking dead!
205
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:01,221
Now he's all
pissed off at me.
206
00:13:01,254 --> 00:13:04,191
Well he'll get over it.
207
00:13:04,224 --> 00:13:05,592
I'll eat his breakfast.
208
00:13:08,294 --> 00:13:12,399
Hey, no I can't
today, I gotta go, bye.
209
00:13:21,374 --> 00:13:25,045
Good morning, handsome,
oh god are you filming me?
210
00:13:25,077 --> 00:13:28,448
My sons love to film me
before I have any makeup on.
211
00:13:28,481 --> 00:13:30,016
You look
beautiful Mom.
212
00:13:30,049 --> 00:13:32,719
I pay
him to say that.
213
00:13:32,753 --> 00:13:34,955
- What's up big guy?
- Good morning world.
214
00:13:34,988 --> 00:13:39,159
You got a little, what's
wrong, is there a problem?
215
00:13:39,192 --> 00:13:41,562
Listen all right, you
put your camera down,
216
00:13:41,595 --> 00:13:44,465
I'll put my phone down
and let's eat, mister...
217
00:13:44,498 --> 00:13:46,266
Sure you don't want
any of my berries?
218
00:13:46,298 --> 00:13:47,433
- No, no.
- Here, here.
219
00:13:47,466 --> 00:13:48,802
- No, no.
- Here.
220
00:13:51,538 --> 00:13:52,706
So, we're gonna leave
in about an hour
221
00:13:52,739 --> 00:13:56,677
and we left you guys
some cash in the drawer
222
00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:58,177
and we'll be back Sunday night.
223
00:13:58,211 --> 00:14:01,447
No big parties, mister popular.
224
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:03,317
- No parties!
- I know.
225
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:07,354
Okay, well you can have
one or two friends over
226
00:14:07,386 --> 00:14:08,821
but nothing big okay.
227
00:14:08,855 --> 00:14:11,925
And I'm sure Brandon
will have Lauren over.
228
00:14:11,957 --> 00:14:13,793
I'm sure he will.
229
00:14:13,826 --> 00:14:17,096
All right, baby, I love you.
230
00:14:17,129 --> 00:14:18,831
I love you too Mom.
231
00:14:18,865 --> 00:14:21,000
- I'm gonna finish packing.
- Okie dokes.
232
00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:25,873
Hey listen, have a couple
of your buddies over
233
00:14:25,905 --> 00:14:27,974
from the team, okay.
234
00:14:28,008 --> 00:14:31,078
Nothing too crazy,
maybe a few girls,
235
00:14:32,546 --> 00:14:34,815
I'm sure there's a
girl out that you like.
236
00:14:35,948 --> 00:14:39,152
But just remember...
Be responsible.
237
00:14:39,186 --> 00:14:40,687
- Yes, thank you.
- I know.
238
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,623
Hey, hey, hey
where are you going,
239
00:14:42,655 --> 00:14:43,823
with my bacon.
240
00:14:46,525 --> 00:14:47,694
Shut the door!
241
00:14:48,928 --> 00:14:51,932
This guy is driving
me nuts, please.
242
00:14:54,167 --> 00:14:58,705
Please make sure he doesn't
burn the house down.
243
00:14:58,738 --> 00:15:00,274
Door!
244
00:15:00,307 --> 00:15:04,110
- While we're gone.
- All right, I'll do my best.
245
00:15:05,278 --> 00:15:07,181
All right, have
a good practice
246
00:15:07,214 --> 00:15:09,650
and we'll be back Monday
for the game okay?
247
00:15:09,682 --> 00:15:11,951
- Great have fun.
- You too.
248
00:15:14,221 --> 00:15:16,222
- You all right?
- Oh yeah.
249
00:15:18,557 --> 00:15:22,196
Hey, all right, yeah we
should be getting on the road
250
00:15:22,229 --> 00:15:23,430
in about an hour.
251
00:15:24,297 --> 00:15:26,200
Yeah, it looks good to me, yeah.
252
00:15:45,985 --> 00:15:49,823
My family's pretty
cool but they don't know.
253
00:15:58,298 --> 00:16:01,335
Hey guys, one last thing
if you or anyone you know
254
00:16:01,368 --> 00:16:02,936
is in danger of
committing suicide,
255
00:16:02,969 --> 00:16:05,072
reach out to their parents.
256
00:16:05,105 --> 00:16:06,773
And if you're not
comfortable with that,
257
00:16:06,806 --> 00:16:08,809
you can call this
hotline number.
258
00:16:08,841 --> 00:16:09,675
It's
259
00:16:12,345 --> 00:16:14,815
Somebody will be
there to talk to you.
260
00:16:14,847 --> 00:16:16,115
I'm gonna
play that again.
261
00:16:17,384 --> 00:16:18,786
1-800-273-8255.
262
00:16:21,153 --> 00:16:22,755
You guys got that?
263
00:16:25,591 --> 00:16:27,927
Somebody will be
there to talk to you.
264
00:16:27,961 --> 00:16:31,264
And you can always,
always reach out to me.
265
00:16:32,666 --> 00:16:35,235
Sometimes this world
can be a lonely place
266
00:16:35,268 --> 00:16:37,037
and you just need a friend.
267
00:16:38,138 --> 00:16:39,907
Even if it's somebody
you don't know.
268
00:16:41,073 --> 00:16:42,942
Jenna, come on let's go.
269
00:16:42,975 --> 00:16:45,078
Okay, guys, I gotta go.
270
00:16:45,912 --> 00:16:47,381
Have an amazing day.
271
00:17:05,298 --> 00:17:06,200
Mom, Dad?
272
00:17:13,138 --> 00:17:15,208
Jeff, hello, anyone home?
273
00:17:27,420 --> 00:17:28,255
Let's go.
274
00:18:56,041 --> 00:19:00,980
♪ I was a fool for the
light I saw in you ♪
275
00:19:04,517 --> 00:19:09,523
♪ The yellows and the greens
all been turned to blue ♪
276
00:19:10,722 --> 00:19:13,359
♪ And so I'll paint
you a pretty picture ♪
277
00:19:13,393 --> 00:19:16,563
♪ If the love that's now gone ♪
278
00:19:18,298 --> 00:19:20,433
- A new one?
- Yeah, do you like it?
279
00:19:20,467 --> 00:19:22,235
Yeah it's a completely
different style for you.
280
00:19:22,268 --> 00:19:23,769
All right.
281
00:19:23,803 --> 00:19:25,138
Hey we gotta
go, I'm gonna be late.
282
00:19:25,171 --> 00:19:26,974
Oh shit, that's right.
283
00:19:27,973 --> 00:19:30,109
Hey give me that camera, hey.
284
00:19:31,611 --> 00:19:32,512
Hey guys, Brandon Wade here,
285
00:19:32,545 --> 00:19:34,047
this guy will never tell you
286
00:19:34,079 --> 00:19:35,448
but he's a damn
good hockey player,
287
00:19:35,481 --> 00:19:37,750
- made varsity as a freshman.
- I was a sophomore.
288
00:19:37,784 --> 00:19:39,252
Yeah, sophomore,
freshman, whatever.
289
00:19:39,285 --> 00:19:40,454
- Now can I please
- Hey.
290
00:19:40,487 --> 00:19:42,522
give me my camera back.
291
00:19:42,555 --> 00:19:44,391
Need me to
pick you up after practice?
292
00:19:45,592 --> 00:19:47,528
No, I'm good.
293
00:19:48,694 --> 00:19:50,297
You have
anyone over tonight?
294
00:19:51,698 --> 00:19:52,499
No one of
the guys from the team
295
00:19:52,531 --> 00:19:53,866
is throwing a big party,
296
00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:55,201
I gotta show up.
297
00:19:55,234 --> 00:19:56,735
Well I'm driving.
298
00:19:56,769 --> 00:19:57,671
Actually that's
wrong 'cause I'm driving.
299
00:19:57,703 --> 00:19:58,871
Nope I'm driving.
300
00:19:58,904 --> 00:20:03,242
♪ Get money falling
in my wallet ♪
301
00:20:03,276 --> 00:20:07,647
♪ This starving is
part of the plan ♪
302
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:11,085
♪ That you don't
have to understand. ♪
303
00:20:12,785 --> 00:20:14,121
Hey what do
you think about this one?
304
00:20:15,054 --> 00:20:16,423
I like this one.
305
00:20:16,455 --> 00:20:17,923
"What do I Deserve"
is still my favorite.
306
00:20:17,957 --> 00:20:19,726
I know but do you think
this could go on the album?
307
00:20:19,759 --> 00:20:21,228
Definitely.
308
00:20:21,260 --> 00:20:22,895
All right, wait, listen
to this one part, just wait.
309
00:20:22,929 --> 00:20:27,935
♪ Do what you gotta do
she'll be leaving soon ♪
310
00:20:28,701 --> 00:20:29,769
♪ She'll be gone ♪
311
00:20:31,971 --> 00:20:33,839
Hey I'm really
bummed I can't make it
312
00:20:33,873 --> 00:20:35,808
to your game, I
just gotta get back,
313
00:20:35,842 --> 00:20:37,210
I start recording on Tuesday.
314
00:20:37,242 --> 00:20:38,511
- I understand.
- All right.
315
00:20:42,714 --> 00:20:47,319
♪ I'll be walking
down a lonely road ♪
316
00:20:47,353 --> 00:20:50,190
I am here with one of
my best friends, Taylor.
317
00:20:50,222 --> 00:20:51,758
Hi.
318
00:20:51,790 --> 00:20:53,425
She's also my roommate.
319
00:20:53,459 --> 00:20:56,163
She's very supportive
of our mission
320
00:20:56,195 --> 00:20:57,830
and she has something
say about it.
321
00:21:01,067 --> 00:21:03,303
Come on don't you
have anything to say?
322
00:21:03,336 --> 00:21:04,738
I hate being put on the spot.
323
00:21:04,770 --> 00:21:06,673
- Come on Tay.
- I don't know what to say.
324
00:21:06,705 --> 00:21:08,007
What
about all the kids
325
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:09,208
that are taking their own lives?
326
00:21:09,241 --> 00:21:13,078
I think it's really
sad, like so sad.
327
00:21:13,112 --> 00:21:16,048
This girl
is so annoying.
328
00:21:16,082 --> 00:21:18,018
Today isn't about
being sad, Jenna,
329
00:21:18,050 --> 00:21:19,785
today is about having fun.
330
00:21:19,818 --> 00:21:23,455
Okay, fine, she's right, I'm
gonna try and have fun today
331
00:21:23,489 --> 00:21:24,658
you guys.
332
00:21:24,691 --> 00:21:26,159
I'm breaking the
rules a little bit,
333
00:21:26,192 --> 00:21:27,995
I'm skipping all my classes.
334
00:21:28,827 --> 00:21:29,663
Sorry Mom.
335
00:21:30,863 --> 00:21:33,567
- What's up bitches.
- Hey Michelle.
336
00:21:34,901 --> 00:21:39,005
- Oh good morning sexy slut.
- Oh my god.
337
00:21:39,038 --> 00:21:41,173
- Now the party starts.
- Yeah.
338
00:21:41,207 --> 00:21:42,943
- You ready to get started?
- I guess so.
339
00:21:56,455 --> 00:22:00,459
This is my rink, it's
been my second home
340
00:22:00,492 --> 00:22:01,761
since I was five.
341
00:22:03,262 --> 00:22:04,497
I love playing hockey.
342
00:22:06,164 --> 00:22:07,600
It's all I ever wanted to do.
343
00:22:10,036 --> 00:22:11,671
There's this adrenaline
rush that runs through
344
00:22:11,703 --> 00:22:12,838
your whole body.
345
00:22:17,109 --> 00:22:18,678
Makes you forget
about everything.
346
00:22:22,048 --> 00:22:24,550
My brother feels the
same way about his music.
347
00:22:27,252 --> 00:22:30,557
My dad always told
us, life's meaningless
348
00:22:30,589 --> 00:22:32,692
until you find what
you're passionate about.
349
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:38,965
And when you find it, you
found your reason for living.
350
00:22:41,433 --> 00:22:42,335
Life's meaningless
until you find
351
00:22:42,367 --> 00:22:44,403
what you're passionate about
352
00:22:44,436 --> 00:22:49,275
and when you find it, you've
found your reason for living.
353
00:22:57,083 --> 00:22:59,052
So what happens when
you hate what you love?
354
00:23:03,923 --> 00:23:06,826
Let's go,
pick it up boys!
355
00:23:06,858 --> 00:23:08,461
You're falling asleep
on me, let's go!
356
00:23:10,863 --> 00:23:14,601
Wade, you're going
through the motions, son!
357
00:23:14,634 --> 00:23:16,903
Skate like a man,
pussy, get off your feet!
358
00:23:16,935 --> 00:23:17,736
Fucking faggot.
359
00:23:17,769 --> 00:23:19,038
Get up you little bitch!
360
00:23:19,071 --> 00:23:21,107
ice Wade.
361
00:23:23,643 --> 00:23:25,545
Fucking bench warmer.
362
00:23:26,846 --> 00:23:28,248
You ain't going nowhere
boy, fucking faggot,
363
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:31,017
get off the fucking ice.
364
00:23:33,819 --> 00:23:35,388
Come on McCann, bring it in!
365
00:23:37,789 --> 00:23:39,858
Get in here, on me now!
366
00:23:39,892 --> 00:23:41,494
What are you guys
doing on my ice?
367
00:23:41,527 --> 00:23:43,063
What's going on out there!
368
00:23:43,096 --> 00:23:44,698
- Fucking benchwarmer...
- Turn that damn camera off!
369
00:23:59,345 --> 00:24:02,582
So here it is, I'm
not gay, I'm a girl
370
00:24:09,622 --> 00:24:11,758
but I'm trapped in a boy's body.
371
00:24:14,626 --> 00:24:16,762
And I've been that way
ever since I was four.
372
00:24:21,534 --> 00:24:23,503
- Can I come in?
- No.
373
00:24:25,438 --> 00:24:26,440
- Excuse me?
- Mom, I'm busy.
374
00:24:29,942 --> 00:24:31,310
Okay, I
understand you're busy
375
00:24:31,344 --> 00:24:32,644
but I haven't seen you all day
376
00:24:32,678 --> 00:24:35,548
and I'm a little
worried about you.
377
00:24:35,580 --> 00:24:36,782
I wanted to be alone.
378
00:24:36,816 --> 00:24:38,317
Can you open
the door, please?
379
00:24:48,227 --> 00:24:49,062
Thank you.
380
00:24:50,195 --> 00:24:51,130
I'm working
on a school project,
381
00:24:51,163 --> 00:24:52,798
I really need to get back to it.
382
00:24:52,832 --> 00:24:54,067
Can I help?
383
00:24:54,099 --> 00:24:56,301
Mom, no, I'm
really busy right now
384
00:24:56,335 --> 00:24:58,371
and I need to get back to it.
385
00:24:58,403 --> 00:24:59,672
Please just let me close my door
386
00:24:59,704 --> 00:25:01,740
so I can get back to work.
387
00:25:01,773 --> 00:25:03,275
All right.
388
00:25:13,719 --> 00:25:15,555
I'm sorry
about that guys.
389
00:25:19,892 --> 00:25:23,028
♪ Broken record that
nobody wants to play ♪
390
00:25:23,061 --> 00:25:27,433
♪ We're waking up we're
screaming out loud ♪
391
00:25:27,467 --> 00:25:31,438
♪ We'll never run out
we'll never run out ♪
392
00:25:31,471 --> 00:25:36,476
♪ Do what we want just
gonna hang tonight ♪
393
00:25:37,375 --> 00:25:39,346
♪ Make the world young again ♪
394
00:25:43,215 --> 00:25:46,685
Oh my god it's
a miracle, Jenna Ross
395
00:25:46,719 --> 00:25:48,788
is actually smoking pot.
396
00:25:48,820 --> 00:25:51,990
You're getting drunk later
to you know that right?
397
00:25:52,023 --> 00:25:54,860
Whatever, my
mom is gonna kill me
398
00:25:54,894 --> 00:25:56,462
when she sees this.
399
00:25:57,529 --> 00:25:59,098
You're in college now, Jenna.
400
00:26:00,266 --> 00:26:04,336
Sorry Mrs. Ross but
Jenna's a big girl now
401
00:26:04,369 --> 00:26:06,438
and it's time for
her to have some fun.
402
00:26:06,471 --> 00:26:08,841
She needs a break, she
busts her butt everyday
403
00:26:08,875 --> 00:26:12,444
and she needs to let loose,
you pressure her way too much.
404
00:26:12,478 --> 00:26:14,980
Now come on, how much
more perfect can she be?
405
00:26:15,013 --> 00:26:17,950
Yeah, I mean, you're
suffocating her.
406
00:26:17,983 --> 00:26:20,319
Come on already she works harder
than any other girl I know.
407
00:26:20,353 --> 00:26:21,554
Okay, that's not true.
408
00:26:21,586 --> 00:26:23,288
You do, of course,
she was valedictorian
409
00:26:23,321 --> 00:26:24,756
- of her high school class.
- Barely.
410
00:26:24,789 --> 00:26:29,762
Class president and
she's gonna get a 4.0 GPA.
411
00:26:30,630 --> 00:26:32,098
- I wish.
- Oh please,
412
00:26:32,131 --> 00:26:36,302
she knows she is unlike me
who just give a shit.
413
00:26:36,335 --> 00:26:39,072
She's in every club on campus.
414
00:26:39,105 --> 00:26:40,740
I'm in three.
415
00:26:40,772 --> 00:26:42,475
No, yeah, three
more than me.
416
00:26:43,742 --> 00:26:46,078
Anyways she takes care of us
417
00:26:48,013 --> 00:26:51,750
and she's my therapist
for god sake.
418
00:26:53,152 --> 00:26:54,988
Yeah, she's a resident
therapist on our floor.
419
00:26:56,154 --> 00:26:59,392
Jenna Ross is a boss
and she needs a break
420
00:26:59,424 --> 00:27:01,394
from being so goddamn perfect.
421
00:27:01,426 --> 00:27:04,263
I am not perfect, I actually
feel real guilty right now
422
00:27:04,297 --> 00:27:05,632
you guys.
423
00:27:05,664 --> 00:27:08,534
- Jenna just stop.
- Yeah, enough of that shit.
424
00:27:09,535 --> 00:27:11,304
Okay, you're right.
425
00:27:12,471 --> 00:27:15,208
Sorry Mom, sorry
Dad, I love you.
426
00:27:16,709 --> 00:27:17,677
Shit is that Matty Matt?
427
00:27:17,710 --> 00:27:19,511
- Matty Matt!
- Honk the horn.
428
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,148
- Matty Matt!
- Matt.
429
00:27:26,818 --> 00:27:29,655
- You're so stoned right now!
- He's so stoned.
430
00:27:29,689 --> 00:27:32,125
Shit, Jenna Ross
skipping class,
431
00:27:33,358 --> 00:27:34,827
the world must be ending.
432
00:27:36,162 --> 00:27:37,497
- Hey ladies.
- Hi.
433
00:27:38,431 --> 00:27:40,267
Hey Taylor.
434
00:27:42,969 --> 00:27:46,773
Shut the hell up am
I tripping or what?
435
00:27:46,806 --> 00:27:50,910
Jenna Ross is smoking weed,
this is history right here.
436
00:27:50,942 --> 00:27:53,413
Give me
a hit of that shit.
437
00:27:55,981 --> 00:27:57,817
Hey Matty Matt here.
438
00:27:59,585 --> 00:28:04,524
This girl is the nicest,
kindest girl I have ever met.
439
00:28:05,691 --> 00:28:08,126
- And the prettiest
- Stop it, Matt.
440
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:10,463
and smartest and most talented,
441
00:28:10,496 --> 00:28:13,333
did I say the hottest
girl on campus.
442
00:28:13,365 --> 00:28:16,036
- Oh my god, fuck you Matt.
- Oh my god.
443
00:28:17,636 --> 00:28:19,605
You're hot too.
444
00:28:19,638 --> 00:28:22,240
But you're the hottest.
445
00:28:22,273 --> 00:28:24,242
Okay, I do know
about any of that
446
00:28:24,276 --> 00:28:27,947
but I do know that you're
the cutest thing ever.
447
00:28:27,980 --> 00:28:29,115
Thank you.
448
00:28:29,147 --> 00:28:30,983
I'm not just saying
that, this girl
449
00:28:31,017 --> 00:28:34,019
is gonna go so far,
I can guarantee.
450
00:28:34,053 --> 00:28:36,255
All right, you two
enough of this love party.
451
00:28:36,288 --> 00:28:38,223
Let's smoke, my shit sucks.
452
00:28:38,257 --> 00:28:40,192
All right, let's head over
there and I'll roll a new one.
453
00:28:43,695 --> 00:28:46,098
Do you guys know
that feeling you get
454
00:28:46,132 --> 00:28:49,001
when you can be with
a bunch of people,
455
00:28:49,035 --> 00:28:53,974
people you even like and know
but still feel totally alone?
456
00:29:04,282 --> 00:29:07,519
Do you guys understand,
I don't know,
457
00:29:07,553 --> 00:29:09,055
I don't know what I'm saying?
458
00:29:11,390 --> 00:29:14,928
Leave me a comment
please, send me a message,
459
00:29:16,828 --> 00:29:18,664
I love hearing from all of you.
460
00:29:20,398 --> 00:29:22,368
I feel so connected to you guys.
461
00:29:40,051 --> 00:29:42,655
There's so much
sadness in the world.
462
00:29:44,390 --> 00:29:46,660
Sometimes I feel like
I can feel all of it.
463
00:29:55,768 --> 00:29:57,202
It's hard to describe.
464
00:30:05,845 --> 00:30:07,413
So my parents and
brother won't be home
465
00:30:07,445 --> 00:30:09,581
for hopefully an hour
so I get to be myself
466
00:30:09,615 --> 00:30:10,650
for a little while.
467
00:30:12,050 --> 00:30:14,453
I'm very excited
but I have to hurry
468
00:30:14,487 --> 00:30:17,691
because if they catch
me, my dad will kill me.
469
00:30:25,096 --> 00:30:28,334
When I was 14 I learned
what transgender meant.
470
00:30:29,567 --> 00:30:31,570
And I cried of happiness.
471
00:30:32,671 --> 00:30:34,207
It was the best day of my life.
472
00:30:35,641 --> 00:30:37,777
I did not have to try to
do boyish things to fit in,
473
00:30:37,809 --> 00:30:39,345
I finally understood who I was.
474
00:30:40,246 --> 00:30:47,487
I wasn't gay, well I guess I am,
475
00:30:47,519 --> 00:30:50,423
I'm a lesbian trapped
in a boy's body.
476
00:30:50,455 --> 00:30:52,692
Not a butch type lesbian,
a lipstick lesbian.
477
00:30:56,662 --> 00:30:58,698
I immediately told my mom
478
00:30:59,932 --> 00:31:02,102
and she told me it
was just a phase.
479
00:31:03,067 --> 00:31:04,569
And that I never truly be a girl
480
00:31:04,603 --> 00:31:08,007
and that God doesn't make
mistakes and I was wrong.
481
00:31:11,874 --> 00:31:13,046
A phase, I don't think so.
482
00:31:22,954 --> 00:31:26,192
FYI, I'm not gonna
look my best today.
483
00:31:27,393 --> 00:31:29,629
I've trained myself to
go pretty fast at this
484
00:31:29,662 --> 00:31:31,396
so I can spend as
much time as a girl
485
00:31:31,430 --> 00:31:33,166
before my parents get home.
486
00:31:35,835 --> 00:31:37,569
I can look much better
than what you'll see.
487
00:31:39,438 --> 00:31:40,273
Anyway.
488
00:32:09,300 --> 00:32:10,569
My room's a little messy.
489
00:32:10,603 --> 00:32:11,604
This is
Brandon Wade here,
490
00:32:11,636 --> 00:32:12,904
this is my song "I'm Not Tired."
491
00:32:12,938 --> 00:32:14,307
I love this song.
492
00:32:17,041 --> 00:32:18,410
Oh god I wish I could sing.
493
00:32:20,412 --> 00:32:22,615
Music makes me so happy,
494
00:32:22,647 --> 00:32:25,250
it makes me forget how sad I am,
495
00:32:26,818 --> 00:32:28,086
it lifts me up.
496
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:30,990
I need it, you know.
497
00:32:33,259 --> 00:32:36,194
♪ I'm not tired ♪
498
00:32:36,228 --> 00:32:38,431
A lot of kids I talk to online
499
00:32:38,463 --> 00:32:41,433
they tell me that I should
just do drugs to feel better.
500
00:32:44,502 --> 00:32:45,737
It's just not my thing you know.
501
00:32:45,770 --> 00:32:50,643
♪ All the flames and
reach before the storm ♪
502
00:32:53,144 --> 00:32:56,316
♪ 'Cause it gets
stronger than before ♪
503
00:33:07,625 --> 00:33:11,330
♪ Stay a little while
longer stay a little while ♪
504
00:33:13,965 --> 00:33:15,433
I don't think I
can think of a day
505
00:33:15,467 --> 00:33:16,936
where I haven't been depressed.
506
00:33:19,305 --> 00:33:22,241
♪ Stay a little while longer ♪
507
00:33:23,776 --> 00:33:25,778
I look at pictures of
me when I was little.
508
00:33:29,714 --> 00:33:33,251
♪ Darling I know the
things I've done ♪
509
00:33:33,285 --> 00:33:34,888
And my eyes were.
510
00:33:36,255 --> 00:33:40,093
♪ But I've moved on I
won't be who I can become ♪
511
00:33:40,992 --> 00:33:41,827
So sad.
512
00:33:42,994 --> 00:33:47,065
♪ You're afraid I
might become I won't ♪
513
00:33:47,098 --> 00:33:49,734
♪ This long night
is still young ♪
514
00:33:49,768 --> 00:33:51,371
I cry just looking at me.
515
00:33:58,874 --> 00:33:59,846
I can't even go there right now.
516
00:34:02,580 --> 00:34:07,586
Anyways so my parents made me
go to a bunch of therapists
517
00:34:08,454 --> 00:34:10,356
on and off since I can remember,
518
00:34:10,389 --> 00:34:13,393
only Christian therapists so
that worked out well, huh?
519
00:34:15,927 --> 00:34:18,364
So I never actually got
the therapy I needed
520
00:34:18,396 --> 00:34:20,231
to cure me of my depression.
521
00:34:20,264 --> 00:34:22,000
I only got more
people telling me
522
00:34:22,034 --> 00:34:25,738
that I was selfish and
wrong and that I should look
523
00:34:25,771 --> 00:34:27,106
to God for help.
524
00:34:29,340 --> 00:34:32,210
I painted my toes
purple I love them.
525
00:34:33,579 --> 00:34:35,181
Purple's my favorite color.
526
00:34:36,315 --> 00:34:37,317
I hate pink.
527
00:34:38,784 --> 00:34:41,054
My mom loves pink.
528
00:34:44,789 --> 00:34:47,793
Anyway, the thing
with my parents is
529
00:34:56,001 --> 00:34:58,905
well, I'm just an
embarrassment to them.
530
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:04,177
They wanted me to be their
perfect, little Christian boy,
531
00:35:06,844 --> 00:35:08,080
and that's not what I am.
532
00:35:11,182 --> 00:35:14,353
They have their Christian
son, my perfect brother
533
00:35:14,385 --> 00:35:17,724
and I just wanted to be
their Christian daughter.
534
00:35:19,425 --> 00:35:21,260
So they took me out
of my brother's school
535
00:35:21,293 --> 00:35:23,896
and I was home schooled
for the rest of the year.
536
00:35:23,929 --> 00:35:27,432
I was basically
locked in a cage.
537
00:35:27,465 --> 00:35:28,900
I mean, they took
away my cellphone
538
00:35:28,934 --> 00:35:32,938
and laptop forbid me from
any sort of social media use,
539
00:35:32,971 --> 00:35:35,340
completely isolating
me from all my friends
540
00:35:35,373 --> 00:35:37,876
who were all pretty
much online and
541
00:35:40,978 --> 00:35:43,014
it was just probably the
worst time of my life
542
00:35:43,047 --> 00:35:46,184
and I realize that my parents
were never gonna come around
543
00:35:46,217 --> 00:35:49,422
and that I would have
to wait until I was 18
544
00:35:49,454 --> 00:35:51,923
to start any sort of
transitioning treatment.
545
00:36:04,536 --> 00:36:06,873
And I don't have
the money for that.
546
00:36:11,777 --> 00:36:13,579
Which means it's probably
never gonna happen.
547
00:36:19,684 --> 00:36:21,721
And that absolutely
breaks my heart.
548
00:36:27,391 --> 00:36:29,561
I cry myself to
sleep every night.
549
00:36:32,231 --> 00:36:33,432
Some nights my
brother will hear me
550
00:36:33,465 --> 00:36:36,602
and he'll sneak in
from the other room
551
00:36:38,103 --> 00:36:42,508
and he tells me that
everything's gonna be all right.
552
00:36:47,112 --> 00:36:49,115
And we just pray to God.
553
00:36:54,052 --> 00:36:56,856
I pray, I pray pretty
much every day.
554
00:36:58,222 --> 00:37:02,561
I've been praying and I
don't really feel any better.
555
00:37:11,402 --> 00:37:12,838
Except for today.
556
00:37:17,742 --> 00:37:19,010
Today was different.
557
00:37:21,612 --> 00:37:23,348
Today I get to share my story.
558
00:37:45,637 --> 00:37:48,007
So, this is me... Nicole.
559
00:37:53,811 --> 00:37:54,813
How do I look?
560
00:37:57,449 --> 00:37:59,952
Write some comments
below and let me know.
561
00:38:13,431 --> 00:38:16,368
I wanna give you a few lessons
about being transgender.
562
00:38:18,570 --> 00:38:21,774
First off, we don't
wanna be seen as trans.
563
00:38:23,141 --> 00:38:26,945
I wanna be seen as a
girl, period, end of story
564
00:38:28,981 --> 00:38:31,617
and if we're girls, we
wanna be seen as guys.
565
00:38:33,851 --> 00:38:35,353
It's that simple for us
566
00:38:35,387 --> 00:38:38,624
but so freaking complicated
for everyone else.
567
00:38:44,128 --> 00:38:48,467
Number two, we can barely
stand to look at ourselves
568
00:38:49,467 --> 00:38:50,536
in the mirror
569
00:38:53,572 --> 00:38:55,474
and it sucks really bad
570
00:38:57,376 --> 00:38:59,946
when you're not okay
with your own body.
571
00:39:12,456 --> 00:39:15,460
I cringe every time I see it and
572
00:39:24,536 --> 00:39:26,871
it messes with your
brain pretty bad.
573
00:39:29,340 --> 00:39:32,978
Number three when your
family calls you by he,
574
00:39:37,315 --> 00:39:38,483
or says my name,
575
00:39:43,021 --> 00:39:45,124
I mean, just hearing
the word, Nick,
576
00:39:47,626 --> 00:39:48,794
freaks me out.
577
00:39:52,097 --> 00:39:53,599
I hate the sound of it,
578
00:39:56,934 --> 00:39:58,871
it makes me wanna kill myself.
579
00:40:04,242 --> 00:40:05,911
Nick is not my name.
580
00:40:10,548 --> 00:40:11,884
My name is Nicole.
581
00:40:16,954 --> 00:40:19,490
Nick is not my name,
Nick is not my name,
582
00:40:19,523 --> 00:40:22,560
Nick is not my name,
it's not my real name!
583
00:40:35,507 --> 00:40:37,909
Hey sorry about earlier,
584
00:40:40,711 --> 00:40:42,715
it's just I get really
angry and then I tromp
585
00:40:42,748 --> 00:40:44,115
and I get really sad.
586
00:40:48,219 --> 00:40:51,556
I've been on antidepressants
for as long as I can remember
587
00:40:54,458 --> 00:40:57,128
and most recently
on sleeping pills
588
00:40:57,161 --> 00:40:59,631
so I can at least sleep
through the night.
589
00:41:07,139 --> 00:41:08,541
I stay up really late
590
00:41:12,643 --> 00:41:15,547
and then that's when a lot of
bad things go through my head.
591
00:41:29,628 --> 00:41:32,097
I used to be super outgoing
when I was younger.
592
00:41:35,567 --> 00:41:36,835
I was never really shy.
593
00:41:40,505 --> 00:41:41,907
Now it's just weird.
594
00:41:45,543 --> 00:41:48,213
I don't make people laugh
like I used to anymore.
595
00:41:51,048 --> 00:41:53,052
I don't crack jokes
like I used to anymore.
596
00:41:58,222 --> 00:42:00,793
Which I miss, a lot.
597
00:42:04,362 --> 00:42:06,132
'Cause I love
seeing people laugh.
598
00:42:08,432 --> 00:42:10,135
Sometimes I just wanna run away.
599
00:42:14,271 --> 00:42:17,175
I just wish I was the same
person just born a girl.
600
00:42:23,347 --> 00:42:28,353
I remember when I was two, I
used to run into my mom's room
601
00:42:29,454 --> 00:42:31,490
holding my penis saying
"I want this off,
602
00:42:31,523 --> 00:42:32,791
I want this off."
603
00:42:34,192 --> 00:42:36,929
I used to dream that
my fairy godmother
604
00:42:36,961 --> 00:42:38,362
would come and wake me up
in the middle of the night
605
00:42:38,396 --> 00:42:41,200
and go poof and my
penis would be gone.
606
00:42:50,708 --> 00:42:53,511
I really hate my
penis, I hate it!
607
00:43:01,353 --> 00:43:03,387
I understand that
I was never the boy
608
00:43:03,420 --> 00:43:05,156
that my dad really wanted.
609
00:43:07,324 --> 00:43:11,529
I also know that I'll never
be Daddy's little girl.
610
00:43:17,668 --> 00:43:20,772
I just wished that there was
someway to make this all right.
611
00:43:25,943 --> 00:43:27,913
And I feel bad for
all the parents too.
612
00:43:31,550 --> 00:43:34,820
I just wish that they could
put aside their own bigotry
613
00:43:34,853 --> 00:43:37,055
or feelings enough to
say it doesn't matter
614
00:43:37,088 --> 00:43:40,325
if you're gay, lesbian,
transgender, why should it matter,
615
00:43:40,358 --> 00:43:41,861
I love you anyways?
616
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:51,971
- Oh shit.
- What the hell?
617
00:43:56,273 --> 00:43:57,175
Nick, Nick!
618
00:44:00,545 --> 00:44:01,380
Nick!
619
00:44:04,215 --> 00:44:06,218
Nick, open the door now!
620
00:44:07,851 --> 00:44:09,587
Open up the door now Nick!
621
00:44:09,621 --> 00:44:11,891
What did I tell you about
locking doors in this house!
622
00:44:13,958 --> 00:44:15,994
Open this door now
before I bust it down!
623
00:44:54,666 --> 00:44:57,303
- You can keep those sweats.
- Thanks.
624
00:44:59,204 --> 00:45:01,073
You know I don't know
how to help you Wade?
625
00:45:02,773 --> 00:45:04,509
You made it worse
going to the principal.
626
00:45:04,541 --> 00:45:06,144
You can't do that shit!
627
00:45:08,713 --> 00:45:09,681
You have a problem
with your team
628
00:45:09,713 --> 00:45:11,782
you work it out with your team.
629
00:45:11,815 --> 00:45:13,084
I understand.
630
00:45:14,485 --> 00:45:17,889
You know you're one of the
better players out there, right
631
00:45:19,356 --> 00:45:21,393
but you've been slacking
off the last few weeks, son.
632
00:45:22,927 --> 00:45:24,363
I know.
633
00:45:24,396 --> 00:45:26,832
Well get your shit together
this is your senior year.
634
00:45:27,731 --> 00:45:28,532
Coach, oh sorry.
635
00:45:28,565 --> 00:45:30,034
Come here Waters.
636
00:45:30,902 --> 00:45:32,971
What's going on with you guys?
637
00:45:33,003 --> 00:45:34,605
Stop picking on Wade!
638
00:45:34,639 --> 00:45:36,275
- I haven't done anything.
- It's not him.
639
00:45:39,244 --> 00:45:41,646
Good, then talk
to the other guys.
640
00:45:42,780 --> 00:45:43,949
I will.
641
00:45:43,981 --> 00:45:46,184
Look we got our
first game on Tuesday,
642
00:45:46,217 --> 00:45:48,253
I don't want this
shit on my ice!
643
00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:52,657
- I mean it Waters.
- I get it.
644
00:45:55,025 --> 00:45:56,193
I'm late for a meeting.
645
00:45:56,226 --> 00:45:58,196
You guys work this shit out!
646
00:45:59,731 --> 00:46:01,033
I'll talk to you on Monday.
647
00:46:05,070 --> 00:46:06,505
Where are they now?
648
00:46:06,538 --> 00:46:09,440
Showers but what is that?
649
00:46:09,474 --> 00:46:11,043
Are you filming this?
650
00:46:12,409 --> 00:46:14,445
James what are you
doing, I saw you in there
651
00:46:14,478 --> 00:46:16,847
There's Wade, we missed
you in the showers, buddy.
652
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:18,549
Hey Burgess, Vargas,
Renzi he's right here!
653
00:46:18,583 --> 00:46:20,751
- Go lock the door McCann.
- On it.
654
00:46:20,784 --> 00:46:22,453
There's that little
motherfucker right there.
655
00:46:22,487 --> 00:46:26,258
Yeah, you like that,
like that little buddy.
656
00:46:26,291 --> 00:46:28,026
So what's your
fucking problem, huh?
657
00:46:28,059 --> 00:46:29,227
I don't
have a problem.
658
00:46:29,260 --> 00:46:30,495
- Yeah, you fucking do!
- Fucking pussy!
659
00:46:30,527 --> 00:46:31,429
And a fucking snitch!
660
00:46:31,463 --> 00:46:33,065
Ugly motherfucker!
661
00:46:34,032 --> 00:46:35,867
Hey are you a faggot?
662
00:46:35,900 --> 00:46:37,102
No.
663
00:46:37,135 --> 00:46:38,670
Yes you are
'cause you ain't getting
664
00:46:38,702 --> 00:46:39,603
any fucking pussy.
665
00:46:39,637 --> 00:46:40,872
What fucking senior
666
00:46:40,905 --> 00:46:41,807
is still a fucking virgin,
667
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:43,942
McCann, are you a virgin.
668
00:46:43,974 --> 00:46:45,810
Fuck no, I'm up
to five freshman already.
669
00:46:45,844 --> 00:46:47,311
Yo Renzi
what about you man?
670
00:46:47,344 --> 00:46:49,146
I'm going on four
if I include your mother.
671
00:46:49,179 --> 00:46:51,382
- Hey Waters, what about you?
- Uh no.
672
00:46:51,416 --> 00:46:53,985
Yeah, I didn't think
so not with that donkey dick!
673
00:46:54,018 --> 00:46:56,655
Waters, get
over here and get a hit!
674
00:46:58,523 --> 00:46:59,358
Let's go!
675
00:47:00,525 --> 00:47:02,260
Waters, Waters,
Waters, Waters!
676
00:47:03,094 --> 00:47:03,929
Come on!
677
00:47:03,961 --> 00:47:05,630
I'm good.
678
00:47:06,965 --> 00:47:09,034
Get over
here and get a hit!
679
00:47:09,067 --> 00:47:10,534
That was a
pussy kick, Waters,
680
00:47:10,568 --> 00:47:11,336
we all knew you were a faggot,
just like little Jamie here.
681
00:47:11,369 --> 00:47:12,571
Come on!
682
00:47:12,603 --> 00:47:15,206
Kick
him again, Waters!
683
00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:19,009
Fucking hit him,
fucking hit him, give it to him!
684
00:47:22,713 --> 00:47:26,351
That's what
I'm talking about.
685
00:47:26,384 --> 00:47:28,385
You want me to
stop kicking you huh, huh,
686
00:47:28,418 --> 00:47:30,621
then get the fuck
up and fight me!
687
00:47:30,655 --> 00:47:33,492
I'm not
gonna fight you.
688
00:47:33,525 --> 00:47:36,293
'Cause you're a
fucking faggot aren't you?
689
00:47:36,327 --> 00:47:37,696
Oh you wanna get fucked instead,
690
00:47:37,728 --> 00:47:39,096
you wanna get
fucked instead, huh?
691
00:47:39,130 --> 00:47:43,235
Say it, I'm a fucking
faggot, I'm a fucking faggot.
692
00:47:43,268 --> 00:47:46,871
Give it to him!
693
00:47:46,905 --> 00:47:48,373
Let's go!
694
00:47:48,405 --> 00:47:50,907
Oh shit look, he wants it
he's already bent over.
695
00:47:50,909 --> 00:47:52,811
Oh shit
he's getting it again.
696
00:47:52,844 --> 00:47:54,079
Oh he loves this
shit, McCann give me your stick.
697
00:47:54,112 --> 00:47:55,380
No, no,
no, not with my stick!
698
00:47:55,413 --> 00:47:56,615
Come on!
699
00:47:56,648 --> 00:47:58,150
You're getting fucked
little faggot, huh,
700
00:47:58,182 --> 00:47:59,583
but you like it
don't you, don't you?
701
00:47:59,617 --> 00:48:01,853
All right
enough leave him alone.
702
00:48:01,885 --> 00:48:03,154
What the
fuck did you just say?
703
00:48:03,188 --> 00:48:04,422
I think
that's enough for today.
704
00:48:04,454 --> 00:48:06,557
It sounds like
you fucking want it too.
705
00:48:06,590 --> 00:48:08,259
Fuck you man.
706
00:48:08,293 --> 00:48:10,996
Yo, fuck
all this shit game on.
707
00:48:11,028 --> 00:48:12,431
Let's go.
708
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:36,588
We're gonna bury
your ass fucking live yeah!
709
00:48:36,621 --> 00:48:40,159
You're gonna fucking die today
man, you're fucking done!
710
00:48:43,862 --> 00:48:45,430
Hey come
on, let's go take him.
711
00:48:45,463 --> 00:48:47,365
Open the fucking
door, yo we're going.
712
00:48:47,398 --> 00:48:48,567
That way, that way.
713
00:48:48,599 --> 00:48:49,768
Come on, let's go,
take him this way.
714
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:52,304
To the stairs, let's go!
715
00:48:54,639 --> 00:48:55,440
Yeah!
716
00:48:55,472 --> 00:48:56,708
To the stairs.
717
00:48:58,275 --> 00:48:59,643
Come on, Waters, let's go!
718
00:48:59,677 --> 00:49:02,414
Come on let's go top
of the stairs, come on!
719
00:49:02,447 --> 00:49:04,782
Put him right onto the edge.
720
00:49:10,554 --> 00:49:12,489
Ready for a ride little boy!
721
00:49:12,523 --> 00:49:15,827
Yo, yo, shut the fuck up,
I wanna talk to this clown.
722
00:49:15,860 --> 00:49:17,229
You're a fucking loser.
723
00:49:17,262 --> 00:49:18,697
You're fucking nothing.
724
00:49:18,730 --> 00:49:20,632
- Fucking hockey player.
- Tell him like it is.
725
00:49:20,664 --> 00:49:22,132
You suck, you're not
fucking tough enough,
726
00:49:22,166 --> 00:49:23,668
you can't fight in there and
you can't fight on the ice.
727
00:49:23,701 --> 00:49:25,836
That's why you don't
have a girlfriend, huh.
728
00:49:25,869 --> 00:49:27,137
That's why you don't
have any fucking friends.
729
00:49:27,170 --> 00:49:31,108
Yo if I was you I would
fucking kill myself.
730
00:49:31,141 --> 00:49:32,676
Yeah kill yourself,
kill yourself.
731
00:49:32,710 --> 00:49:33,711
Toss him down the stairs!
732
00:49:33,744 --> 00:49:35,512
Toss him down the stairs!
733
00:49:35,545 --> 00:49:37,381
Yo, yo, yo, let's get
out of here, hey, hey
734
00:49:37,414 --> 00:49:38,382
party at Renzi's right?
735
00:49:38,416 --> 00:49:39,217
Yeah!
736
00:49:40,351 --> 00:49:40,986
- Alcohol.
- Let's get the fuck
737
00:49:41,018 --> 00:49:41,785
out of here!
738
00:49:41,818 --> 00:49:43,255
Let's go baby.
739
00:49:43,288 --> 00:49:47,659
Yo Wade if you can walk
we'd love to fucking have you.
740
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:51,729
Let's go, see you later Wade.
741
00:49:54,465 --> 00:49:58,637
Hey man, it's Waters,
come on, come on, lets go.
742
00:49:59,704 --> 00:50:00,739
I'll take you home.
743
00:50:02,106 --> 00:50:04,676
Hey, it's Travis Waters,
I want everyone to know
744
00:50:04,708 --> 00:50:06,377
that I had no part in this shit.
745
00:50:06,411 --> 00:50:09,246
I wanted to stop it, James
have I ever done anything
746
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:10,081
to hurt you?
747
00:50:10,114 --> 00:50:10,949
No.
748
00:50:12,684 --> 00:50:16,121
This dude has done nothing
to deserve this, nothing.
749
00:50:16,153 --> 00:50:18,590
And we were all friends one
day and then they just stopped
750
00:50:18,623 --> 00:50:20,659
liking him, why?
751
00:50:20,692 --> 00:50:23,827
Who gives the fuck why, who
does this shit to people?
752
00:50:23,860 --> 00:50:26,597
People who are fucking
crazy that's who.
753
00:50:26,630 --> 00:50:28,098
This shit has happened
to James before
754
00:50:28,132 --> 00:50:31,735
and to other kids and the
school has done nothing.
755
00:50:31,768 --> 00:50:33,804
I mean, the principal
came to talk to us
756
00:50:33,838 --> 00:50:35,507
but that did shit.
757
00:50:35,539 --> 00:50:37,909
And our coach was
fucking pissed.
758
00:50:37,942 --> 00:50:40,579
- Have you told your parents?
- No.
759
00:50:42,380 --> 00:50:43,615
My parents would
have gone ballistic,
760
00:50:43,648 --> 00:50:45,083
they would have taken
on the whole school.
761
00:50:47,518 --> 00:50:48,653
My would have too.
762
00:50:50,521 --> 00:50:53,490
But I mean, you have what you
need to take these fucks out.
763
00:50:53,523 --> 00:50:55,092
Turn the camera off.
764
00:50:59,130 --> 00:51:02,000
Dude if we release stuff now
765
00:51:02,032 --> 00:51:04,435
there's no hockey for
any of us through season
766
00:51:04,469 --> 00:51:07,539
and that just fucks
everyone including you.
767
00:51:07,572 --> 00:51:10,208
Bro, this shit
will be everywhere.
768
00:51:10,240 --> 00:51:11,141
If that would...
769
00:51:11,175 --> 00:51:12,477
Turn the fucking camera off!
770
00:51:13,844 --> 00:51:16,380
Jesus Christ,
what I need more time!
771
00:51:16,414 --> 00:51:18,717
Excuse me, you
know you're not supposed
772
00:51:18,750 --> 00:51:20,818
to talk to me like that.
773
00:51:20,851 --> 00:51:21,752
You promised Dr. Gould
you were gonna work
774
00:51:21,786 --> 00:51:23,355
on these outbursts.
775
00:51:24,755 --> 00:51:25,856
And you promised
Dr. Gould you weren't gonna be
776
00:51:25,889 --> 00:51:27,658
so fucking on me all the time.
777
00:51:27,692 --> 00:51:30,494
She told you, you're
supposed to give me my space.
778
00:51:31,628 --> 00:51:35,733
Billy, I'm
just worried about you.
779
00:51:35,766 --> 00:51:38,068
You're not sticking
to the schedules,
780
00:51:38,101 --> 00:51:40,672
you're not eating, you
barely leave your room.
781
00:51:40,704 --> 00:51:42,473
You don't hang out with
your friends anymore.
782
00:51:42,507 --> 00:51:44,775
I just need to know
that you're okay.
783
00:51:44,809 --> 00:51:46,478
Mom, I'm okay.
784
00:51:48,612 --> 00:51:51,482
You know
what today is, right?
785
00:51:51,516 --> 00:51:53,585
Of course.
786
00:51:53,617 --> 00:51:54,853
Maybe I
should call out so
787
00:51:54,885 --> 00:51:56,688
maybe we can spend
some time together.
788
00:51:56,721 --> 00:51:59,958
I'm on the overnights
unless ER's slow.
789
00:52:01,059 --> 00:52:04,028
Mom, I'm
okay, have a good shift,
790
00:52:04,061 --> 00:52:07,431
I just, I really need to
get back to this project.
791
00:52:08,965 --> 00:52:12,804
Okay, I'll check
in later, I love you.
792
00:52:14,938 --> 00:52:16,474
I love you too.
793
00:52:19,409 --> 00:52:23,580
Hey guys, I'm here with the
cutest boy ever, Matty Matt.
794
00:52:23,614 --> 00:52:26,351
Hey everybody
what's up ladies?
795
00:52:27,617 --> 00:52:28,886
So I just wanted to touch base
796
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:30,588
on what we were
talking about earlier
797
00:52:30,621 --> 00:52:32,356
you know with the
pressure from the parents
798
00:52:32,389 --> 00:52:34,491
and school and everything.
799
00:52:36,027 --> 00:52:39,898
Oh that means it's 5:59, it's
time for my daily mom call.
800
00:52:41,331 --> 00:52:45,636
It should be happening,
in five, four, three, two.
801
00:52:47,204 --> 00:52:49,141
It's never a second late.
802
00:52:50,708 --> 00:52:52,744
Here you take over
for awhile okay?
803
00:52:59,250 --> 00:53:00,652
Hey Mom.
804
00:53:00,684 --> 00:53:04,556
Jenna, why did you change
your profile picture?
805
00:53:05,789 --> 00:53:07,425
What?
806
00:53:07,458 --> 00:53:09,561
When did you do
it, this morning?
807
00:53:11,027 --> 00:53:14,031
I don't know I did
it like a couple hours ago.
808
00:53:15,465 --> 00:53:18,869
You know I don't like it,
it's really a horrible picture
809
00:53:18,902 --> 00:53:23,407
of you, oh and put the
homecoming theme picture back up,
810
00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:26,710
I mean, you're so much
prettier in that picture.
811
00:53:26,744 --> 00:53:29,114
You know Aunt Susan
thinks so too.
812
00:53:29,146 --> 00:53:30,382
Okay.
813
00:53:32,617 --> 00:53:35,987
So, has your
asshole father called you?
814
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:37,755
No.
815
00:53:38,789 --> 00:53:42,027
Oh, typical,
nothing's changed there.
816
00:53:45,530 --> 00:53:47,899
Clearly he doesn't give a shit.
817
00:53:47,931 --> 00:53:51,135
But some people just
aren't meant to be parents.
818
00:53:53,271 --> 00:53:56,807
Oh I bought you the
cutest dress yesterday,
819
00:53:56,840 --> 00:53:58,742
Diane and I went into the city.
820
00:53:58,775 --> 00:54:01,044
It's gonna look
absolutely amazing on you
821
00:54:01,077 --> 00:54:03,014
when you come home
for Thanksgiving
822
00:54:03,047 --> 00:54:05,717
as long as you don't
gain the freshman 15.
823
00:54:07,050 --> 00:54:08,719
I'm not
gaining any weight Mom.
824
00:54:08,753 --> 00:54:10,555
I actually gotta go
I have a huge test
825
00:54:10,588 --> 00:54:12,090
that I have to study for.
826
00:54:12,123 --> 00:54:14,592
Okay, good, good 'cause
you shouldn't be wasting
827
00:54:14,625 --> 00:54:16,728
your time with those girls
that keep tagging you
828
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:18,329
in those pictures.
829
00:54:18,362 --> 00:54:20,597
None of them are
really that pretty,
830
00:54:20,630 --> 00:54:22,399
especially the one
with the big nose.
831
00:54:22,432 --> 00:54:25,402
Mom, okay I
gotta go, I gotta go.
832
00:54:25,436 --> 00:54:28,006
Okay I'll call you
tomorrow same time.
833
00:54:28,039 --> 00:54:29,441
- I love you.
- Bye.
834
00:54:43,820 --> 00:54:45,589
Jenna let's go down and
meet up with everybody.
835
00:54:46,891 --> 00:54:48,726
Yeah, I'll be
down in a minute.
836
00:54:51,195 --> 00:54:53,030
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
837
00:54:54,599 --> 00:54:57,367
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
838
00:54:57,400 --> 00:54:59,803
- All right, hurry up.
- Okay.
839
00:55:20,757 --> 00:55:23,761
She's right about
one thing, my dad.
840
00:55:26,097 --> 00:55:28,600
I texted and I called
him five times yesterday
841
00:55:28,632 --> 00:55:29,900
and he didn't reply.
842
00:55:31,369 --> 00:55:33,938
His assistant called me and said
843
00:55:33,971 --> 00:55:36,273
that we could set up
a time to talk today.
844
00:55:38,675 --> 00:55:41,913
I know that you're
busy Dad but really?
845
00:55:45,815 --> 00:55:47,551
I even left him a
message to let him know
846
00:55:47,585 --> 00:55:50,153
that I'm feeling sad again.
847
00:55:50,186 --> 00:55:52,958
I've been feeling
sad for awhile now.
848
00:55:56,860 --> 00:55:58,328
Do you guys remember
that time last Christmas
849
00:55:58,362 --> 00:56:00,298
when I didn't post for awhile.
850
00:56:01,998 --> 00:56:04,268
Yeah I was really sad then.
851
00:56:05,568 --> 00:56:08,038
I was really depressed
and I had no idea why.
852
00:56:11,775 --> 00:56:13,844
But your comments
and your messages
853
00:56:13,878 --> 00:56:15,780
are what got me through.
854
00:56:17,047 --> 00:56:19,583
So thank you, thank
you, thank you.
855
00:56:21,452 --> 00:56:23,454
Sometimes this
world is a sad place
856
00:56:23,487 --> 00:56:26,758
and it's hard for me
to take, you know?
857
00:56:31,628 --> 00:56:34,766
I've tried so hard to
just have fun today
858
00:56:34,798 --> 00:56:37,067
and forget about
everything but I can't.
859
00:56:41,038 --> 00:56:43,675
I've written a few poems
over the past year.
860
00:56:46,110 --> 00:56:48,480
And I don't usually share
this type of stuff, but
861
00:56:50,347 --> 00:56:52,784
I wanna share one
with you guys now.
862
00:56:54,318 --> 00:56:59,324
♪ It only gets better ♪
863
00:57:00,391 --> 00:57:05,396
♪ Honey, I'm not tired ♪
864
00:57:08,532 --> 00:57:11,336
♪ Love will keep us warm ♪
865
00:57:19,275 --> 00:57:23,280
You say I'm alive but the
hidden smile on my face.
866
00:57:25,483 --> 00:57:28,653
Inside I feel I can
disappear without a trace.
867
00:57:31,222 --> 00:57:35,727
In many roads the heavy loads
why can't I tell anyone?
868
00:57:36,594 --> 00:57:38,362
Why won't you understand?
869
00:57:41,364 --> 00:57:44,368
The pain hurts along
with the fears.
870
00:57:46,302 --> 00:57:48,472
You see happy I see tears.
871
00:57:52,876 --> 00:57:55,413
This burden's too much
872
00:57:55,445 --> 00:57:58,717
but you carry on conversation
and such and such.
873
00:58:01,952 --> 00:58:04,856
I wished to be
someone or something
874
00:58:09,260 --> 00:58:12,263
but unfortunately
I'm none, nothing.
875
00:58:24,340 --> 00:58:26,943
And that's why it's really
important that we need to respect
876
00:58:26,976 --> 00:58:30,748
everybody's opinion because
everybody is a human being.
877
00:58:32,949 --> 00:58:37,554
Okay listen, listen,
listen, I made you this drink,
878
00:58:37,588 --> 00:58:40,825
you can't even taste
the alcohol, so enjoy.
879
00:58:40,858 --> 00:58:42,026
Thank you.
880
00:58:42,059 --> 00:58:44,028
♪ 'Cause I'm
getting you wasted ♪
881
00:58:44,061 --> 00:58:45,028
♪ Baby ♪
882
00:58:45,061 --> 00:58:46,029
♪ Getting you wasted ♪
883
00:58:46,063 --> 00:58:46,931
Oh my god.
884
00:58:48,998 --> 00:58:50,500
Blessed oh Lord
for these thy gifts
885
00:58:50,534 --> 00:58:52,170
that we are about to
receive from that bounty
886
00:58:52,202 --> 00:58:53,905
through Christ our Lord amen.
887
00:58:53,938 --> 00:58:56,673
And Lord
please watch over us
888
00:58:56,706 --> 00:59:00,711
and lead us forward in your
righteous love and light.
889
00:59:02,146 --> 00:59:05,249
In all your ways we give
you honor and praise amen.
890
00:59:05,282 --> 00:59:06,284
Amen.
891
00:59:11,021 --> 00:59:13,358
I know that you
will handle this beautifully
892
00:59:14,425 --> 00:59:17,195
and I think it
wouldn't be a bad idea
893
00:59:17,228 --> 00:59:21,566
to call the hotline that
I have the number for.
894
00:59:21,599 --> 00:59:22,900
No.
895
00:59:22,932 --> 00:59:26,637
It's Christian
and they know just how
896
00:59:26,670 --> 00:59:28,905
they've helped more people.
897
00:59:28,938 --> 00:59:30,507
They have wisdom we don't.
898
00:59:30,541 --> 00:59:32,710
Big city
Christian is not the same
899
00:59:32,742 --> 00:59:34,177
as country Christian.
900
00:59:34,210 --> 00:59:38,015
We both know this I don't
want this getting out.
901
00:59:40,150 --> 00:59:42,385
No I don't
neither, I just want us
902
00:59:42,418 --> 00:59:43,855
to have, be equipped.
903
00:59:46,422 --> 00:59:48,792
The only equipment
we need is from the Bible.
904
00:59:48,826 --> 00:59:50,228
The Bible tells us what to do.
905
00:59:50,260 --> 00:59:52,230
God you're being
so stubborn about this.
906
00:59:52,262 --> 00:59:54,130
I'm just saying maybe we
could get a little help.
907
00:59:54,164 --> 00:59:55,533
Well what do
you want me to do,
908
00:59:55,565 --> 00:59:59,035
take away his cellphone,
send him to gay camp,
909
00:59:59,068 --> 01:00:00,538
what do you want?
910
01:00:00,570 --> 01:00:02,005
You act like I condone this.
911
01:00:02,039 --> 01:00:04,108
No, it's just too much, we
can't even leave him home alone
912
01:00:04,141 --> 01:00:06,744
anymore.
913
01:00:06,777 --> 01:00:08,679
Jeff eat your broccoli.
914
01:00:08,711 --> 01:00:09,679
I told you I
don't like broccoli.
915
01:00:09,713 --> 01:00:11,349
Jeff, eat your broccoli!
916
01:00:11,382 --> 01:00:12,950
I just pray no one
saw him like this
917
01:00:12,983 --> 01:00:14,986
because I can't take it anymore.
918
01:00:15,018 --> 01:00:16,486
I just can't.
919
01:00:16,519 --> 01:00:18,855
I did not raise him
to be like this,
920
01:00:18,889 --> 01:00:20,358
this isn't my fault.
921
01:00:20,391 --> 01:00:21,858
Oh and I did?
922
01:00:21,891 --> 01:00:22,826
Yeah, you were never home,
you never played with him.
923
01:00:22,860 --> 01:00:24,095
I was working.
924
01:00:24,128 --> 01:00:25,663
Yeah, and you treated
him different than Jeff
925
01:00:25,695 --> 01:00:27,864
and you were embarrassed of him.
926
01:00:27,898 --> 01:00:29,100
So were you.
927
01:00:29,132 --> 01:00:31,902
Why is God doing
this to us, why?
928
01:01:00,197 --> 01:01:01,532
You're excused.
929
01:01:05,436 --> 01:01:07,038
Dad, please.
930
01:01:07,070 --> 01:01:08,605
No go to your room.
931
01:01:11,407 --> 01:01:12,643
I'm hungry.
932
01:01:12,675 --> 01:01:14,444
Don't make me get
up from this chair.
933
01:01:16,646 --> 01:01:17,981
- Mom.
- Just go.
934
01:01:19,782 --> 01:01:22,185
Now!
935
01:01:24,887 --> 01:01:26,223
Tuck in your chair.
936
01:01:30,628 --> 01:01:31,461
Boy.
937
01:01:33,664 --> 01:01:36,367
Stop it, control yourself.
938
01:01:39,235 --> 01:01:40,070
I mean it.
939
01:02:08,998 --> 01:02:11,067
Do not go in his room.
940
01:02:11,101 --> 01:02:12,269
Okay.
941
01:02:29,619 --> 01:02:33,391
♪ Stay a little while longer ♪
942
01:02:40,797 --> 01:02:43,733
♪ Stay a little while longer ♪
943
01:02:43,766 --> 01:02:53,377
♪ 'Cause I'm not
tired I'm not tired ♪
944
01:02:57,815 --> 01:03:02,720
♪ I know things I've
done but I moved on ♪
945
01:03:05,355 --> 01:03:08,893
♪ I won't be who I can become ♪
946
01:03:08,925 --> 01:03:13,931
♪ You're afraid I will
become no I won't ♪
947
01:03:15,132 --> 01:03:18,501
♪ This long night
is still young ♪
948
01:03:18,534 --> 01:03:23,540
♪ Won't you hold on my lover ♪
949
01:03:25,742 --> 01:03:30,748
♪ When you lay down ♪
950
01:03:32,014 --> 01:03:35,420
♪ You won't have to wait
for me to lay down too ♪
951
01:03:38,489 --> 01:03:39,657
What do you think
about that one?
952
01:03:39,690 --> 01:03:41,392
Oh my god, I love that one.
953
01:03:41,425 --> 01:03:43,427
- Thanks.
- It better be about me right?
954
01:03:43,460 --> 01:03:45,195
Well yeah, who else
would it be about?
955
01:03:46,195 --> 01:03:48,498
Hey cutie, whoa are you okay?
956
01:03:48,532 --> 01:03:50,434
Yeah, I'm just tired.
957
01:03:50,467 --> 01:03:52,936
Rough practice or something?
958
01:03:54,036 --> 01:03:55,972
Yeah.
959
01:03:56,005 --> 01:03:57,007
You wanna hit?
960
01:03:59,041 --> 01:04:00,478
No maybe later.
961
01:04:02,146 --> 01:04:03,380
We're taking off in a minute.
962
01:04:03,413 --> 01:04:04,882
We're gonna be back
late, late tonight.
963
01:04:04,914 --> 01:04:07,585
Maybe tomorrow morning,
we'll see how it goes,
964
01:04:07,617 --> 01:04:09,753
you know your brother
can be a dick, so.
965
01:04:09,786 --> 01:04:11,154
Cool.
966
01:04:11,188 --> 01:04:12,490
No not funny.
967
01:04:12,523 --> 01:04:15,992
Come on lighten up,
take a hit with me.
968
01:04:16,025 --> 01:04:19,629
I'm sorry,
I'm just really tired.
969
01:04:21,164 --> 01:04:24,168
- Well then get some sleep.
- I will.
970
01:04:27,336 --> 01:04:29,072
- Good to see you Lauren.
- You too.
971
01:04:29,106 --> 01:04:30,641
Have fun at that party.
972
01:04:32,643 --> 01:04:35,112
Play more, play more.
973
01:04:35,144 --> 01:04:36,746
You sure you're all right?
974
01:04:36,780 --> 01:04:38,682
Yeah.
975
01:04:38,715 --> 01:04:39,717
All right.
976
01:04:49,159 --> 01:04:54,164
♪ Stay a little while longer
stay a little while with me ♪
977
01:05:00,403 --> 01:05:04,641
♪ And stay a little
while longer ♪
978
01:05:04,675 --> 01:05:09,680
♪ 'Cause I'm not tired ♪
979
01:05:10,447 --> 01:05:11,715
♪ I'm not tired ♪
980
01:05:13,916 --> 01:05:15,619
All right second verse.
981
01:05:16,954 --> 01:05:21,626
♪ Love takes awhile
it only gets better ♪
982
01:05:37,039 --> 01:05:42,045
♪ Stay a little while longer
stay a little while with me ♪
983
01:06:17,380 --> 01:06:22,385
♪ Stay a little while longer
stay a little while longer ♪
984
01:06:23,487 --> 01:06:28,125
♪ Stay a little
while I'm not tired ♪
985
01:06:29,726 --> 01:06:32,496
♪ I'm not tired. ♪
986
01:06:40,971 --> 01:06:44,942
So I need to be honest with
you guys about something,
987
01:06:44,974 --> 01:06:46,409
I struggle with depression.
988
01:06:48,378 --> 01:06:49,947
I've been on and off
meds this past year
989
01:06:49,980 --> 01:06:51,748
and I'm not supposed
to talk about it,
990
01:06:51,782 --> 01:06:53,651
my mom says because
it's bad for my image
991
01:06:53,684 --> 01:06:55,886
and I've been seeing a therapist
992
01:06:55,918 --> 01:06:57,788
but my therapist
doesn't actually think
993
01:06:57,820 --> 01:06:59,257
that I'm depressed.
994
01:07:01,458 --> 01:07:03,693
Nobody else knows about this
995
01:07:05,829 --> 01:07:08,332
well, now everybody
does.
996
01:07:08,364 --> 01:07:10,100
My mom is gonna be so mad.
997
01:07:15,237 --> 01:07:16,739
If you're watching
this right now
998
01:07:16,773 --> 01:07:18,541
and you struggle
with depression,
999
01:07:18,574 --> 01:07:21,344
talk to somebody, reach out,
1000
01:07:21,378 --> 01:07:23,180
that's where the
support of others
1001
01:07:23,213 --> 01:07:25,749
is gonna help you big time.
1002
01:07:25,782 --> 01:07:27,851
You may not wanna talk to
your teacher or your pastor
1003
01:07:27,884 --> 01:07:30,353
or whomever but telling
somebody in confidence,
1004
01:07:30,387 --> 01:07:33,624
you stand a greater
chance of getting the help
1005
01:07:33,657 --> 01:07:35,793
that you deserve.
1006
01:07:35,826 --> 01:07:37,226
I'm not gonna go on and on
1007
01:07:37,260 --> 01:07:40,030
but I've just been hearing
about so many people
1008
01:07:40,063 --> 01:07:42,199
taking their own lives
because of depression.
1009
01:07:43,666 --> 01:07:47,304
So before I go know
that you matter,
1010
01:07:49,572 --> 01:07:53,877
that you are special
and that you are loved.
1011
01:07:56,313 --> 01:07:59,317
So before I go know
that you matter,
1012
01:08:01,650 --> 01:08:05,322
that you are special
and that you are loved.
1013
01:08:09,925 --> 01:08:12,730
Okay now let's go out there
and have an amazing rest
1014
01:08:12,762 --> 01:08:16,733
of the day because I know
I'm going to and you can too.
1015
01:08:19,336 --> 01:08:22,340
Okay, goodbye you guys.
1016
01:09:51,795 --> 01:09:53,663
This happened two
weeks ago as well.
1017
01:09:57,934 --> 01:09:59,869
Vargas told me it
would happen again
1018
01:10:04,207 --> 01:10:06,744
on Saturday right
after practice.
1019
01:10:15,185 --> 01:10:16,654
He was right on time.
1020
01:10:27,063 --> 01:10:28,632
That's why I'm filming today.
1021
01:10:37,908 --> 01:10:41,045
This happens to so
many kids everyday.
1022
01:10:50,554 --> 01:10:55,259
But it's just an article or
a headline that you read.
1023
01:11:02,765 --> 01:11:04,434
This is really happening
1024
01:11:08,438 --> 01:11:12,275
and no one is fucking
doing anything about it!
1025
01:11:13,342 --> 01:11:15,311
I mean look at my social media!
1026
01:11:15,345 --> 01:11:17,748
Look at all the comments,
it's all right there
1027
01:11:17,780 --> 01:11:20,551
every fucking day!
1028
01:11:21,717 --> 01:11:24,820
I tell the coach, I tell
the fucking principal,
1029
01:11:24,854 --> 01:11:26,722
why the fuck me!
1030
01:11:26,756 --> 01:11:29,260
What the fuck did I do!
1031
01:12:08,765 --> 01:12:12,570
I will never step
foot in a rink again.
1032
01:12:20,377 --> 01:12:24,448
I will never be
on that ice again.
1033
01:12:28,952 --> 01:12:31,454
They made me hate what I love.
1034
01:12:51,073 --> 01:12:55,745
Okay, I'm really upset
right now you guys.
1035
01:12:58,681 --> 01:13:00,350
The world has gone mad.
1036
01:13:02,752 --> 01:13:06,923
I can't take it, I can't
take it, I can't take it.
1037
01:13:19,836 --> 01:13:22,539
So I've gotten a bunch
of views and comments
1038
01:13:22,572 --> 01:13:24,141
on my videos earlier
1039
01:13:25,574 --> 01:13:27,443
and I'd like to share
some of them with you.
1040
01:13:32,114 --> 01:13:35,418
The court may approve it,
the government may allow it
1041
01:13:35,452 --> 01:13:36,619
but God won't.
1042
01:13:43,359 --> 01:13:46,429
If God is the creator of
it all, isn't he behind it?
1043
01:13:54,237 --> 01:13:58,274
Hey freak, I used to play
with Barbies when I was a kid,
1044
01:13:58,307 --> 01:14:01,078
I wanted to be like my sisters.
1045
01:14:01,110 --> 01:14:03,314
I even wore dresses
and put on makeup.
1046
01:14:04,546 --> 01:14:06,882
My mom made me do boy
stuff, I grew out of it,
1047
01:14:06,916 --> 01:14:08,952
you're crazy and delusional.
1048
01:14:08,984 --> 01:14:10,786
Listen to your parents,
they're trying to love you
1049
01:14:10,819 --> 01:14:12,322
but you're being selfish.
1050
01:14:16,158 --> 01:14:18,061
How am I being selfish?
1051
01:14:27,804 --> 01:14:30,039
Your body is not
wrong, your brain is,
1052
01:14:30,073 --> 01:14:31,675
get some psychiatric help.
1053
01:14:33,143 --> 01:14:35,311
God doesn't make mistakes,
you're a boy god dang it.
1054
01:14:42,786 --> 01:14:44,387
Not all comments are bad.
1055
01:14:47,489 --> 01:14:50,293
There are some that are
encouraging and hopeful.
1056
01:14:53,962 --> 01:14:56,432
It's just hard to not focus on
the negative ones, you know?
1057
01:15:01,770 --> 01:15:03,439
This new one just came in.
1058
01:15:13,015 --> 01:15:14,850
This world needs
less people like you,
1059
01:15:14,884 --> 01:15:16,720
so do us the honors,
1060
01:15:19,189 --> 01:15:20,591
you know the rest.
1061
01:15:37,039 --> 01:15:38,708
What the hell are you doing?
1062
01:15:40,042 --> 01:15:41,744
Are you filming again?
1063
01:15:41,778 --> 01:15:42,646
Oh Jesus.
1064
01:15:42,679 --> 01:15:43,613
You little shit!
1065
01:15:43,645 --> 01:15:45,014
God damn it stop!
1066
01:15:45,047 --> 01:15:46,382
Why are you doing this?
1067
01:15:46,416 --> 01:15:47,251
Get him.
1068
01:15:53,256 --> 01:15:54,825
I have one question
for you people,
1069
01:15:56,292 --> 01:15:59,563
how can you bash somebody
so constantly and so much
1070
01:15:59,595 --> 01:16:04,200
and so consistently until
somebody wants to fucking die?
1071
01:16:05,368 --> 01:16:08,038
How could you do that,
how could you bully them
1072
01:16:08,070 --> 01:16:10,774
and make fun of them and
torture them until they say,
1073
01:16:10,806 --> 01:16:13,342
"All right, you're fucking
torturing me right now."
1074
01:16:14,577 --> 01:16:15,913
Shut the fuck up!
1075
01:16:17,579 --> 01:16:19,416
How could you do that?
1076
01:16:19,448 --> 01:16:21,550
Yeah, go kill yourself,
go fucking die!
1077
01:16:21,583 --> 01:16:25,154
I would never in my life
say something like that.
1078
01:16:27,556 --> 01:16:29,291
I share my true
feelings with you guys
1079
01:16:29,324 --> 01:16:31,060
and this is what I get.
1080
01:16:32,529 --> 01:16:35,799
You want perfect Jenna, well
surprise she doesn't exist!
1081
01:16:35,832 --> 01:16:38,101
I'm a depressed 18-year-old
1082
01:16:38,134 --> 01:16:41,304
who has no fucking
idea who she is!
1083
01:16:41,337 --> 01:16:44,641
The only thing that she knows
is what people tell her!
1084
01:17:36,859 --> 01:17:37,694
I'm just,
1085
01:17:46,836 --> 01:17:48,070
I can't believe how
much hate there is
1086
01:17:48,104 --> 01:17:49,806
out there in the world.
1087
01:17:58,480 --> 01:17:59,515
I can't take it.
1088
01:18:09,958 --> 01:18:12,528
This one's my brother's song.
1089
01:18:12,561 --> 01:18:14,864
It's called, "What
Do I Deserve?"
1090
01:18:17,132 --> 01:18:18,467
This one's my favorite.
1091
01:18:20,168 --> 01:18:23,974
♪ I know I'm out of my mind ♪
1092
01:18:24,006 --> 01:18:27,710
♪ I know I'm crazy ♪
1093
01:18:27,743 --> 01:18:31,347
♪ I'm always living some lie ♪
1094
01:18:31,381 --> 01:18:34,618
♪ And I'm not sorry ♪
1095
01:18:34,650 --> 01:18:38,822
♪ Some day it's how I feel ♪
1096
01:18:38,854 --> 01:18:42,491
♪ Some days it's so real ♪
1097
01:18:42,524 --> 01:18:46,495
♪ And I've got a fragile mind ♪
1098
01:18:46,529 --> 01:18:50,233
♪ And I'm done crying ♪
1099
01:18:50,265 --> 01:18:55,271
♪ I caused pain
and I caused hurt ♪
1100
01:18:57,172 --> 01:18:59,842
♪ I left my family behind me ♪
1101
01:19:01,310 --> 01:19:06,316
♪ And left them in the dirt ♪
1102
01:19:10,252 --> 01:19:15,257
♪ At least that's what I've
heard what do I deserve ♪
1103
01:19:27,869 --> 01:19:31,073
♪ I'm so alone ♪
1104
01:19:31,106 --> 01:19:35,345
♪ My life is gone ♪
1105
01:19:35,377 --> 01:19:40,384
♪ And I'm just spending my
time trying to find some hope ♪
1106
01:19:42,350 --> 01:19:47,356
♪ I'm sick of begging
I wanna hold my own ♪
1107
01:19:50,025 --> 01:19:54,363
♪ But it's just the strangest
thing that I never know ♪
1108
01:20:02,704 --> 01:20:07,411
♪ What am I worth and
what do I deserve ♪
1109
01:20:09,444 --> 01:20:12,081
This is Jenna Ross here,
this will be my last vlog.
1110
01:20:13,548 --> 01:20:16,286
I know this probably won't
make sense to a lot of you
1111
01:20:16,319 --> 01:20:18,722
and I want you to know that
I know it's not right for me
1112
01:20:18,755 --> 01:20:19,588
to be doing this.
1113
01:20:21,423 --> 01:20:24,060
I tried to ask for help
but no one heard me,
1114
01:20:24,092 --> 01:20:25,394
not even you guys.
1115
01:20:26,828 --> 01:20:29,065
I told you the signs, not
one of you reached out.
1116
01:20:30,565 --> 01:20:32,501
So the next time you see
someone that looks like
1117
01:20:32,534 --> 01:20:35,337
they have it all,
know that they don't.
1118
01:20:36,404 --> 01:20:38,474
They may be hurting
just like me,
1119
01:20:39,475 --> 01:20:40,744
just like you may be.
1120
01:20:45,247 --> 01:20:47,216
I woke up today knowing
that when today ends,
1121
01:20:47,250 --> 01:20:48,918
I would take my own life.
1122
01:21:02,265 --> 01:21:04,401
I'm going to
Renzi's party tonight.
1123
01:21:05,434 --> 01:21:07,671
I want them all to see my face,
1124
01:21:08,904 --> 01:21:11,041
to see what they've
taken away from me.
1125
01:21:12,175 --> 01:21:16,113
When today ends, I will
have my retribution
1126
01:21:19,282 --> 01:21:21,118
and it's the only
way it will change.
1127
01:21:25,054 --> 01:21:26,590
♪ What am I worth ♪
1128
01:21:39,601 --> 01:21:44,608
♪ What do I deserve ♪
1129
01:21:47,076 --> 01:21:48,677
♪ What do I deserve ♪
1130
01:22:04,025 --> 01:22:07,396
I know that I'm going to be
hurting everyone who loves me
1131
01:22:08,363 --> 01:22:10,399
and I really do love them too
1132
01:22:11,600 --> 01:22:13,769
but if you knew what it
was like inside my head,
1133
01:22:15,837 --> 01:22:17,740
if you knew what it
felt like to feel dead,
1134
01:22:20,542 --> 01:22:23,412
if you knew what happened
to me when I was a kid,
1135
01:22:25,747 --> 01:22:27,983
if you really knew
what my mother did.
1136
01:22:37,592 --> 01:22:39,296
♪ What do I deserve ♪
1137
01:22:50,405 --> 01:22:52,375
♪ What do I deserve ♪
1138
01:25:06,274 --> 01:25:09,411
Hey James, where were
you you missed the party.
1139
01:25:09,444 --> 01:25:11,279
- Come on, let's go.
- Hey are you okay?
1140
01:25:11,313 --> 01:25:12,748
- This guy's a freak, man.
- Shut up.
1141
01:25:27,162 --> 01:25:28,163
Hey James.
1142
01:25:29,765 --> 01:25:31,534
James, what's up bro?
1143
01:25:43,279 --> 01:25:45,248
James what's up buddy?
1144
01:25:47,048 --> 01:25:49,152
Cops just rolled through,
1145
01:25:49,185 --> 01:25:51,487
busted the whole
fucking party, man.
1146
01:25:51,520 --> 01:25:52,789
Are you okay, man?
1147
01:25:52,822 --> 01:25:54,591
You don't look so good,
you need a hit bro?
1148
01:25:55,557 --> 01:25:56,393
No, okay.
1149
01:26:05,801 --> 01:26:08,037
Which corner is
your favorite dude?
1150
01:26:08,069 --> 01:26:08,970
- My favorite.
- Yeah.
1151
01:26:09,003 --> 01:26:10,605
Which corner's your favorite?
1152
01:26:10,639 --> 01:26:12,509
- One, two, three, four.
- The one with the blue paper.
1153
01:26:15,810 --> 01:26:18,113
Yo Waters, where
you going, hey.
1154
01:26:18,146 --> 01:26:20,149
What, I'm just going
to check something.
1155
01:26:20,181 --> 01:26:22,518
Waters,
get your ass back,
1156
01:26:22,551 --> 01:26:24,354
sit your ass back down Waters!
1157
01:26:37,332 --> 01:26:38,734
I love you Mom.
1158
01:26:41,403 --> 01:26:42,572
I love you Dad.
1159
01:26:45,073 --> 01:26:46,341
I love you Brandon.
1160
01:26:50,078 --> 01:26:53,148
Yeah, I might go to art
school now man, fuck hockey.
1161
01:26:53,181 --> 01:26:56,786
Yeah, I can't fucking
do that shit.
1162
01:27:00,421 --> 01:27:03,792
What would you call it,
what is the name of that?
1163
01:27:06,028 --> 01:27:07,063
Come on Renzi!
1164
01:27:10,431 --> 01:27:11,634
Bullshit, crossfit.
1165
01:27:17,907 --> 01:27:19,042
I fucking love that.
1166
01:27:21,210 --> 01:27:23,212
Yo we should make that
our new logo or whatever
1167
01:27:23,244 --> 01:27:24,314
for the team.
1168
01:27:34,689 --> 01:27:36,391
- What the fuck was that?
- Shut the fuck up, shut up!
1169
01:27:36,425 --> 01:27:37,894
What was that?
1170
01:30:06,742 --> 01:30:08,778
This isn't how
it's supposed to end.
1171
01:30:16,885 --> 01:30:18,521
♪ What do I deserve ♪
1172
01:30:22,557 --> 01:30:30,565
Know that you matter, that you are
special and that you are loved.
1173
01:30:36,137 --> 01:30:37,372
Life's meaningless
until you find
1174
01:30:37,405 --> 01:30:38,707
what you're passionate about.
1175
01:30:40,175 --> 01:30:44,579
And when you find it, you
found your reason for living.
1176
01:30:46,381 --> 01:30:51,019
1-800-273-8255, somebody
will be there to talk to you.
1177
01:31:00,561 --> 01:31:04,000
Hi, I'm Billy, I'm 17.
1178
01:31:05,300 --> 01:31:08,971
I've been live
streaming this today
1179
01:31:09,003 --> 01:31:10,672
because I figured it
could be the best way
1180
01:31:10,706 --> 01:31:12,175
to get you all to watch.
1181
01:31:23,786 --> 01:31:25,354
I found these videos online
1182
01:31:25,386 --> 01:31:27,222
because they all shared
the same hashtag,
1183
01:31:27,256 --> 01:31:28,423
WhenTodayEnds.
1184
01:31:30,525 --> 01:31:32,494
My sister Megan
used that hashtag.
1185
01:31:33,694 --> 01:31:36,564
She took her own life
two months ago today
1186
01:31:36,597 --> 01:31:38,234
live on social media.
1187
01:31:40,101 --> 01:31:42,337
She was bullied
online and in school.
1188
01:31:49,310 --> 01:31:50,380
This is her room.
1189
01:31:54,649 --> 01:31:56,885
My mom sits in there
everyday for hours.
1190
01:31:58,353 --> 01:32:01,323
I can hardly come in here but
it's all I have left of her.
1191
01:32:03,125 --> 01:32:06,127
I watched her last
video over and over.
1192
01:32:06,161 --> 01:32:08,431
It's all I could do for
the last two months.
1193
01:32:09,965 --> 01:32:13,002
When I watched Jenna,
James and Nicole's videos,
1194
01:32:13,034 --> 01:32:15,171
I needed to know why they did it
1195
01:32:16,604 --> 01:32:18,306
and why they all did it
live for millions to see.
1196
01:32:19,774 --> 01:32:21,777
It was because they
knew you would watch.
1197
01:32:23,244 --> 01:32:25,448
My own sister could do that
in front of the whole world
1198
01:32:25,480 --> 01:32:27,349
but she couldn't tell
me how she really felt.
1199
01:32:28,684 --> 01:32:30,019
I miss her everyday.
1200
01:32:32,587 --> 01:32:33,422
I miss her.
1201
01:32:38,926 --> 01:32:41,130
I don't know what would
make the pain go away.
1202
01:32:41,162 --> 01:32:42,230
I don't know what to do.
1203
01:32:49,971 --> 01:32:51,640
That was me just a year ago.
1204
01:32:53,574 --> 01:32:57,646
I felt so alone, I
just wanted to give up.
1205
01:33:00,148 --> 01:33:02,952
But then all these people
started watching my live stream
1206
01:33:02,984 --> 01:33:06,188
and commenting and
sending me messages.
1207
01:33:06,220 --> 01:33:08,457
All these strangers letting
me know I wasn't alone.
1208
01:33:12,594 --> 01:33:17,432
I was overwhelmed by how many
people really cared about me,
1209
01:33:18,900 --> 01:33:23,472
about my sister and I realized
we needed a place to connect.
1210
01:33:25,606 --> 01:33:28,243
So I created an online channel
1211
01:33:28,277 --> 01:33:31,212
and our mission is to change
the meaning of the hashtag,
1212
01:33:31,246 --> 01:33:32,414
WhenTodayEnds.
1213
01:33:34,917 --> 01:33:37,620
When today ends I'm gonna
pay for someone's next meal
1214
01:33:37,653 --> 01:33:40,456
and spread smiles to every
passing person I see.
1215
01:33:40,488 --> 01:33:43,424
When today ends I want
to make someone smile.
1216
01:33:43,457 --> 01:33:46,427
When today ends I'm going
to compliment someone I love.
1217
01:33:46,461 --> 01:33:49,265
When today ends, I'm
going to tell someone
1218
01:33:49,297 --> 01:33:52,667
that they are not a
disappointment, not to me,
1219
01:33:52,701 --> 01:33:56,438
not to anyone and certainly
not to themselves.
1220
01:34:04,246 --> 01:34:06,981
When today ends, I'm
going to be there for you,
1221
01:34:07,015 --> 01:34:08,851
I'm going to be there for
every person in the world
1222
01:34:08,884 --> 01:34:11,554
that needs my help
because he's hurting,
1223
01:34:11,587 --> 01:34:13,455
he's hurting deeply inside.
1224
01:34:13,488 --> 01:34:15,791
- So let me tell you...
- When today ends...
1225
01:34:15,823 --> 01:34:19,193
I'm going to
inspire people to...
1226
01:34:26,935 --> 01:34:29,138
Thank you for
watching and thank you
1227
01:34:29,171 --> 01:34:33,909
for posting your videos,
I'll see you tomorrow.
1228
01:34:36,811 --> 01:34:41,817
♪ Help I can't hide
myself any longer ♪
1229
01:34:44,418 --> 01:34:49,090
♪ They've broken down my walls
& they're getting stronger ♪
1230
01:34:49,123 --> 01:34:54,130
♪ Now I'm crawling through ♪
1231
01:34:56,765 --> 01:35:01,704
♪ Just wait till dark
when the morning comes ♪
1232
01:35:03,238 --> 01:35:08,244
♪ It won't be long
till the pain is gone ♪
1233
01:35:09,411 --> 01:35:13,282
♪ I keep holding on
but I might be gone ♪
1234
01:35:17,152 --> 01:35:22,158
♪ When today ends ♪
1235
01:35:24,059 --> 01:35:26,962
♪ I know you're living in
the dark without a light ♪
1236
01:35:26,994 --> 01:35:29,097
♪ It can be so hard sometimes ♪
1237
01:35:29,131 --> 01:35:31,467
♪ But there are people
who pray every night ♪
1238
01:35:31,500 --> 01:35:34,168
♪ Just fighting for
the choice to fight ♪
1239
01:35:34,202 --> 01:35:39,208
♪ It's a fight for their lives ♪
1240
01:35:40,108 --> 01:35:43,645
♪ Stay a little while longer ♪
1241
01:35:43,679 --> 01:35:45,180
♪ Nobody wants you to leave ♪
1242
01:35:45,212 --> 01:35:49,484
♪ You shine so bright that
it's hard for them to see ♪
1243
01:35:49,518 --> 01:35:54,256
♪ You're the light
you're the light ♪
1244
01:35:54,288 --> 01:35:59,295
♪ That we need ♪
1245
01:36:01,128 --> 01:36:06,135
♪ Just wait till dawn
when the morning comes ♪
1246
01:36:07,269 --> 01:36:11,273
♪ It won't be long
till the pain is gone ♪
1247
01:36:11,305 --> 01:36:14,874
♪ Keep holding on 'cause
I can't lose a friend ♪
1248
01:36:23,350 --> 01:36:28,356
♪ When today ends ♪
1249
01:36:30,425 --> 01:36:35,431
♪ I love the taste of wine ♪
1250
01:36:36,664 --> 01:36:41,503
♪ It only gets better as
every month passes by ♪
1251
01:36:43,037 --> 01:36:48,043
♪ And honey I'm not tired ♪
1252
01:36:50,645 --> 01:36:55,651
♪ This love will keep us warm ♪
1253
01:36:56,885 --> 01:36:58,153
♪ And nothing there
to hold the flames ♪
1254
01:36:58,185 --> 01:37:02,724
♪ And the breeze
from every storm ♪
1255
01:37:03,792 --> 01:37:05,261
♪ As it gets stronger
than before ♪
1256
01:37:05,938 --> 01:37:08,219
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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