All language subtitles for Made in Chinatown.Eng

(light synth music)

(eerie ambient music)

- [Vinny] Tensions were rising

in the mobs of Little Italy,

Brooklyn, and Chinatown.

They tried working togethe,
but criminals can't be trust.

- You wear that every day.

Where'd you get that shit su?

Look, who still dresses like
this?

- Mind your business.

- Do you see this guy?

- I see him.

- [Vinny] That's Al Capella,

the real deal boss of Manhattan.

Don't mess with him unless
you collect horse heads.

This guy's Amadore Condimento.

He's the boss of Brooklyn,
pedals in condiments.

This is Chinatown's triad boss,
Hung Phat!

He speaks English but when
he wants you to feel small,

it's all Chinese.

(wind whooshing)

- [Sean] Gentlemen.

- [Vinny] And then,
there is Sean O'Greedy,

our Crime Commissioner on the
take.

Everyone is corrupt in this
town.

- A decade ago we moved
away from drugs and gambling

to run oils, and spices, and
herbs.

We are the original crime
syndicate.

Begun centuries ago by Marco
Polo.

We've made fortunes
selling addictive flavors,

holding shops and restaurants
hostage,

to bulk orders without
discounts.

Your greed threatens everything.

- Look, Capella's passed his
prime.

He let the Chinese overtake
Mott and Mulberry Street.

I'll run his territory.

- This is coming from a guy
who's still stuck in the '70s.

Look at that freaking outfit,
would you?

Look at his men?

- How dare you talk to me like
that?

- You were nothin' but a
broken-down fight promoter

'til I made you what you are.

- Ha.

- [Al] Sit down.

- Sit down?

- Sit down!

(pounds desk)

- Listen!

I don't want your trouble
to get in my business!

- Watch your mouth.

Who the hell are you talking to?

(speaking foreign language)

(laughing)

What did he just say?

- My boss said, "Greed is
a powerful aphrodisiac.

But when the feast is over,
no one cares about the sauce."

- What does that mean?

Nobody cares about the sauce?

(speaking foreign language)

(laughs)

What does that mean?

- It means "asshole".

- No, I know what it means.

North of Canal Street it means
man

who talk too much get killed.

Watch your ass.

- Yeah, you sound like a
Chinese fortune cookie.

(laughs)

Am I right?

Am I right?

(laughs)

- Forget about it.

- Careful, boys.

(gong crashing)

- Who the hell is he?

- [Al] Look at that
freaking outfit, would you?

- Gentleman, this is Hai Chu.

- [Vinny] Bless you.

- He's head of the Chinese
family in Philly here

to discuss business.

- What is in it for him?

(speaking foreign language)

- We will see.

- [Vinny] Back in the day,
Chu and Phat fell out.

Something about a
gambling debt and a girl.

That bracelet is a reminder.

(suspenseful orchestral music)

(both yelling)

(grunting)

(groaning)

- Now, I am the boss in
Philadelphia!

(dramatic orchestral music)

- I'm up for re-election.

So, you better steady your
relationships.

If not, we are all ruined.

The next commissioner
will dismantle everything!

(chuckles)

Power,

that's what appeals to me.

Power.

- [Man] Hi-ya.

(dramatic orchestral music)

(upbeat jazz music)

* I want to know

* How I can start

* When love has always torn my
heart *

* But if I feel

* The storm begin

* My mind is of a fool's

* And I rush in

* To what I know will alwayse
*

* A trip through pain

* And ecstasy

* When my blood begins to rae
*

* My idle trepidations all erase
*

* What if she's the one I sa*

* How can I let her get away

* I just can't go another day

* Without her by my side to say
*

* I want to know

* If you could care

* For one who always would be
there *

- Do you know where
Wisdom and Knowledge are?

(speaking foreign language)

(flute music)

- Yes, what is it that you are
seeking?

- I seek advice from the
all-knowing Jade brothers.

Tell me, sir, are you the
great sage, Knowledge?

- I am Wisdom.

That dummy there is Knowledge.

(Knowledge scoffs)

- Look, I could really use se
advice.

- Ha!

- Does the dragon make the rn
fall without first (inhale)

breathing in the sweet
smells of the incense?

- A little cha-ching, Wisdom
ain't cheap, you know?

Hey, that's for my new hip!

And when I get it I'll put my
foot

where Confucius grace don't
shine!

- Guys!

A little focus.

Look, today everybody in
the city thinks I am a hero.

The girl of my dreams kissed me.

And I am in love.

- I knew I was good but I
never worked this fast before?

- Widow Chang said, "You're o
fast."

- That's not what your wife
said!

She never had it so good!

- Hah!

Which wife?

- All of them!

- Guys, this is serious.

(laughs)

- How can you be so sure?

- Look, it wasn't easy
growing up the eldest son.

(all shouting and grunting)

It was my duty to bring great
pride

to my family.

But I just couldn't measure .

(kids laughing)

- Hold on.

You know kung fu?

Hey, how much to work over
knowledge here?

- You mean to tell me
the great Jade brothers

don't know the martial arts?

(scoffs)

- Badminton was my game.

- Ehh, sissy rackets and lite
birdies.

- [Vinny] If you're not gonna
help, I want my money back.

- Ha!

Does the forest

take back its silence
when the woodchuck farts?

- Look, the point is,

I never took to the whole Asn
thing.

It was Italian culture that
grabbed me.

- Wait, Vincent, Vincent!

(speaking foreign language)

What's wrong?

- I wanna go home.

Even though I was raised in
Chinatown-

- This way!

- [Vinny] I just felt like
any other American kid

in New York City.

A city where you can be anything
you want.

Me, I wanted to be a wiseguy.

They get respect and were
my role models as a kid.

- Vincent.

(speaking foreign language)

Let's go, huh?

No good.

- You talking to me?

Forget about it, you're a wise
guy.

You talkin' to me?

Forget about it, you're a wise
guy.

- [Man] Hey, Vincent!

- You talking to me?

- I call your name, who
else would I be talking to?

- You talking to me?

- I'm looking right at you.

(speaking foreign language)

What are you?

Huh?

Are you sick or something?

Huh?

- Forget about it!

- Huh.

You have ear problem, huh?

Loh Moh, your-

- [Vinny] As you can see,
executing the wiseguy

attitude was gonna take some
time.

In fact, until last month,
I wasn't even close.

- Now, my personal favorites
are these cream-filled.

But for you, I am
thinking are you like uh,

egg tart kinda guy?

Chocolate kinda guy?

Right up here we got these.

Oh, hey Tina!

How, how are things?

- Hey miss Mary.

- [Vinny] That's Tina.

Wow, right?

She dates wise guys, so I
never really had a chance.

That and I always made a
fool of myself around her.

- Hold on, uh, Donny?

Donny, bring up the Di Pocco
order.

- You okay?

What, I got something on my
face?

- Whoa, Tina!

- Donny.

How are ya?

Good to see ya.

- Oh my God!
- Yeah okay.

- Hey listen.

You uh, you like lobsters and
shrimps?

- Yeah, sure.

- How about I take you to the
aquarium?

We watch 'em run around a
little?

- That don't sound fun.

- Let me take you out.

- Donny, I told you a million
times.

You're a nice guy-

- Take a picture, it'll last
longer, okay?

This all could be yours, baby.

- This could be a future?

- Me, you, miss Mary over
there and all the lobster tas

you could eat, baby.

(laughs)

- Please.

Can I get a bag for this?

- This is home.

A five-story walk-up in
Chinatown.

It's traditional Chinese,
except for the lottery

tickets on Buddha's lap.

(hand slams on counter)

Dad thinks vaping traditional
herbs and reading,

"Yin and Yang in the Bedroom"

will keep him virile.

I think it's working.

Mom loves to cook and those
are my two little brothers,

if you can believe it.

(inhales deeply)

What is this an opium den?

- Ah, this stuff balances
your Yin with your Yang.

You should try it sometime,
Vincent.

You are always unhappy.

That's a sign of imbalance.

- My balance is just fine.

(laughs)

- Doesn't seem like balance to
me.

- Hmm.

- Not for nothin', pop,

but you got Buddha, fortune
cookies, lottery tickets,

and buck-wild Antler Essence.

You work yourself ragged
but you never make it big.

That don't seem like balanceo
me.

- You may be my number one s,
huh?

But I'm the giver of life he.

- Forget about it.

- Loh Moh, why does your son
sound like one of those

Mulberry-Street Italians?

- Ugh, if he doesn't want toe
Chinese,

how will you stop him?

- [Vinny] Joey is my best
friend.

He's always looking out for me

- "The Godfather" is one of
the greatest films of all time.

- Yeah, to get that kind of
respect, now that is a real man.

- Yeah, that is pretty good.
What can I get you guys?

- That makes me hungry.

- Yo.
- Oh.

- Can we get uh-
- Hey, what's up guys?

- Give me a couple spicy
sausages and mustard.

- And a couple of drinks.

- Hey!

- Be smart, kid.

- Here ya go buddy, 10 bucks.

- Okay, 100?

- Thank you.
- Well, that's a 100, man.

I don't have change.

- Keep it.

Let's go.

- Got any tacos or enchiladas?

- We got hot links and bone-in
hotdogs.

What do you need?

- Right.

All right, umm, couple of
hotlinks,

little mustard, two sodas.

- You got it.

- Hey!

You got this one, Don Vinny?

- Yeah.

In the presence of two real
goodfellas.

- Yeah I'm surprised they'ren
Manhattan.

- You need more than that.

Thank you.

- What are you talking about?

The mob's all over Manhattan.

- Yeah, Al Capella's men, su,

but those were Condimento's
Brooklyn boys.

- And you know this because
there's a Goomba Gazette?

- Nah, my uncle Eddie
works for Condimento.

- Is your uncle Fountain Soda
Eddie?

- Yeah, he makes sure all
the syrups for the fountain

soda machines are stocked.

- All these years,

Joey Rissotto, you
never thought to mention

your uncle was the Fountain
Soda?

- I am not allowed to talk about
it.

- There she is.

(chimes ringing)

In all her heavenly glory.

- You've known Tina
since we was in school.

You didn't say nothing
then, you won't now.

Forget about it.

- She's my goddess, what can I
say?

- Man up and ask her out.

- All right, I've gotta go.

I'm gonna go to one of
them bicycle classes.

- Oh, good for you.

(chuckles)

- All right, love, I'll see .

- Bye.

- She's coming over here.

- Huh?

Ugh.

Hey Tina, how about we
romance the Big Apple,

just you and I?

- Not a chance.

- Not even a maybe?

- First, you need a bib.

And B, you ain't got no car,
no connections, no nothing.

A girl's gotta secure her future

and when you can understand
that,

maybe you can get a girl like
me?

(car honks)

That's what I'm talking about.

- Call me!

- How women resist you,

I'll never know.

- Help me out.

- What do you want me to do
about it?

She's a lost cause.

- Introduce me to your uncle.

- Vin, in case you haven't
noticed,

you're not Italian.

And not for nothin', it's
a real dangerous life.

Forget about it.

- Yeah, forget about it.

Too much trouble for a girl
anyway.

- Forget about the girl?

Have you lost your mind?

You must always pursue the girl.

Hah, you never pursued
the girl in your life.

Call girls maybe.

- Would you two quit it and
let me finish the story?

- So?

- Vincent.

(speaking foreign language)

- I'm trying my best, Sifu.

(thudding)

Good job, May.

- If you'd spend more
time at the kwoon with us,

you could have easily won.

(light orchestral music)

- Vincent.

(speaking foreign language)

- I get it, it's for
self-defense

but practicing for mastery,

what's the point, Sifu?

- The art is part of who we are.

It connects us to our
ancestors and culture.

- Kung-fu builds character.

(speaking foreign language)

It all starts from the kwoon.

You must do this

to forge the spirit.

- And it's a lot of fun,

especially when I get
to beat up on Vincent.

- Embrace kung-fu

and see the change.

- You've been practicing
forever, Sifu.

Doing the same thing every d.

But is this life really good
enough?

- More than enough.

(speaking foreign language)

You will see a change in you.

(speaking foreign language)

- I see mango.

- Yeah, there's the other
things.

(laughs)

- Hey, Vincent, good for the
jade stalk!

Hmm?

- I got so much stuff
that's good for that,

you little horndog.

- Oh.

- It will fill your pecker le
a balloon.

- Huh?

Oh, bring me an extra
10 boxes next week, huh?

We Chinese like the green tea.

- And I got avocados on special.

- Huh?

- They're good for the dopamine.

- Come on, man do your job.

- Why don't you shove one of
those bananas

where the sun don't shine?

- I'm helping you out.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey, easy,
easy.

Wait, wait, wait.

Whoa, hey!

- You're useless little man.

- That's my produce.

Help me get my produce.

Hey.

Hey, Vincent!

Help Me!

Huh what are you doing?

Come.

- [Vinny] I'd had it.

It was time to join the Mob

to get some respect and get e
girl.

So I crossed Canal Street from
Chinatown

into Little Italy in search of
my destiny.

I stumbled onto the two
goodfellas

from the hot dog cart.

It looked like

they were in the middle
of a territory scuffle.

- You should be ashamed of
yourself

with the way oregano smells.

It tastes like sweat.

- He's right, it does.

Listen to me, you tell
Condimento that Al Capella's

got a message for him.

- What's that message again?

- The message is you don't
sell a dash, a pinch, a shaker

of your oregano, you hear me?

You tell Mr. Condominium over
there,

you tell him we find out he
sells

even a sprinkle of that crap

you guys are selling anywhere
in this neighborhood,

he is gonna answer to Mr.
Capella, capice?

- It's now or never.

Time to fulfill my destiny.

(grunting)

(gagging)

Want some mustard with that?

Someone get some mustard
for this line-cutting bitch.

- Oh!

Who are you?

Who interferes in the family
business?

- The man asked you a questi.

- I'm Vinny Chow,

proving myself mob worthy.

- Mob worthy?

- Shall we whack 'em?

- No, no.

We'll bring him in.

Grab 'em.

- Come on, you're coming with
us.

- What?

Come on, let's take him
upstairs to see the boss.

- What is everybody lookin' ?

- Shut up, keep walkin'.

- [Al] Yeah, you just get the
money.

I don't care where he is, you
find him

and bring him down here.

I want every penny he
owes me, you understand?

This is bullcrap.

- Al, Al?

- Well, I gotta go now.

Just do what I told you.

Yeah, what's up Frankie Brows?

- So, we took care of Vito and
Luigi.

We sent a clear message to
Condimento, that's for sure.

- That's good.

- But there's something else.

We got a little bit of a
situation, boss.

- What's that?

- Well, you'll see.

Bring him in.

- We brought you a Chinatown
special.

- Oh, the Moo Goo Gai Pan?

I love those little round
pancakes.

- That dish with the little
pancakes,

that's Moo Shu, not Moo Goo.

Get your hands off that.

- Moo Shu, Moo Goo, screw you.

They;re no freakin' ravioli

but I love those little
round fluffy things

with the bump on the top like
that.

So, nobody brought me takeout?

- No, no, no, like I was saying,
we were sending a message

out to Condimento.

- And then out of nowhere,
this ninja shows up and starts

dropping the one, two on Vito
and Luigi.

And I gotta tell you, it
was a beautiful thing.

- Yeah.
(farts)

He starts shoving red hot pepper
flakes down Vito's throat.

I mean, the poor guy
had tears in his eyes.

(laughs)

- I did it for you, Don Capella.

- You mean to tell me,
you three idiots couldn't

take care of two jerkoffs
from Brooklyn on your own?

- Idiots?

- Excuse me, boss.

But with all due respect,

I think we handled this thing
just fine.

- We can't have the fine
citizens of Little Italy

think that we need help from the
Chinese.

You know what I'm talking about?

- Uh, no, we can't.

That's why we brought him in.

- All right, forget that.

I'm hungry.

Now order me the Chinese
pancakes

with the scallions and the sauce
on it.

And charge it to Spetzia.

He owes me a lot of money.

- Yeah, why don't you two o
find something else to do, h?

- Okay.

- You, kid-
- You, sit down.

All right.

Listen, what do you want from
me, huh?

While I am in a good mood, tk
to me.

- It all started when I was a
kid.

You see-
- You got three seconds.

- I wanna join the family
and become a wiseguy.

(laughs)

- He wants to join the family,
and become,

you ain't even Italian.

- I'm doing the best I can.

(speaking foreign language)

- He's got big balls, this k.

You don't join this here,
I induct you into it.

It's a special thing.

And once I induct you, I give
you an offer you can't refuse.

- Sure, I've seen the movies.

- You've seen the movies.

This ain't the movies.

There's no Chinese wiseguys in
movies.

- No.

- All right, I've had enoughf
you, kid.

You keep sticking your nose
in my business where it

don't belong, and I'm not

going to put you on a slow bt
to China.

I'm gonna put you under one.

Capice?

Get him outta here.

Come on, let's go.

Go on, take a walk.

- He's not kiddin'.

Come on, let's go.

(light orchestral music)

(thuds)

And stay out!

- [Vinny] Going straight to
the top was an epic fail,

but I wasn't giving up.

There had to be another way r
a Chinese

guy to get started in the mafia.

- Yeah, what?

Take it easy, okay?

- Then get up the steps.

- Why do we have to go in here
for?

- Get up, get up those steps.

- You know what you're goin'n
here for!

In here?

- Where do you want to go?

Get in!

(all chattering)

Get in the ring, we'll
straighten you out.

- What do you mean?

What do you mean, straightene
out?

- Come on, come on.

Put these gloves on.

Box a round with little John.

- Little Johnny?
- They call him "The Masher."

(whooshes)

- [Condimento] Wait a minute.

Bring him to me.

- Oh, it's your lucky day.

- [Condimento] Ritchie, get
everybody out.

- Clear the gym.

- So, my sources tell me
Capella's

been moving product into
Brooklyn.

- Capella's man, Frankie Bro,

has been messing with my clerks.

Forced 'em to buy his grated
cheese.

- Yeah?

Well, what'd your boys do?

- They're just boys, what cod
they do?

He made them sign the order.

And no bulk discount!

I sell the grated cheese

and the garlic powder aroundn
Brooklyn.

You don't buy nothin' from
that Manhattan wannabe.

Get him outta here!

- Come on, come on.

Get up, get out.

Let's go.

Come on.

- [Vinny] Look at these two
wannabes

and their fake bruises.

- You two guys are pathetic.

- [Vinny] Too scared to
say what really happened.

- Not for nothin', boss.

We were doing good until a
dozen ninjas attacked us.

- [Condimento] Ninjas?

- Yeah, boss.

They like, they came out of
the shadows or something.

- Capella must have made a
deal with that Hung Phat.

- The Italians and the
Chinese working together?

You know, it's unprecedented,

but not impossible given the
tensions

between the Italians.

- What are we gonna do, boss?

- Well, we got hundreds
of olive oil cans around.

Maybe we put them all over
Chinatown.

- Olive oil is Cappella's
racket.

- Right, Chinese don't buy
Italian.

- We need an inside
man, someone expendable.

- Hung Phat will go to war wh
Capella.

- Exactly.

And when they're knocking
each other off, we're gonna

move right in.

- Hey, we need an Italian
that looks a little Chinese.

Kinda like a crossover.

- Oh, that's a good idea.

Go see who you can see.

- Who are we gonna trust, bo?

- It's not about who we can
trust.

It's about who's dumb enougho
do it.

(all laughing)

- [Vinny] "The highly effecte
made guy

instills fear through
intimidation

and allows no one to refuse him.

He lets his will be known,

but until a Made Guy can
say deeply and honestly,

I am what I am today because

of the choices I made yesterday,

he cannot say I have chosen
the path of the Made Guy."

There's O'Greedy sneaking
into Yam Cha Tong.

Hung Phat's triad headquarters
in the back of a restaurant.

This guy is playing all sides.

- You coming here is asking r
trouble.

- The damn Italians can't
work themselves out.

Their numbers are down and
they're bringing attention

to the operation.

- What is your plan?

- We partner to push out the
Italians, keep the profits,

and the provolone.

- What do you want?

- Enough cash to bribe some
officials

and you to find a way to get
your

products into Little Italy and
Brooklyn.

- Okay.

Ming, (snaps finger)

money!

- Thanks a lot.

(upbeat music)

- That's what I'm talking about,
baby.

Me and you.

Us.

Together.

What more could a girl want?

- Power.

Fame.

Fortune.

- And I'm working up.

I told you.

- You're working up?

You always say you're working
up.

You're not even working?

- Look at the car, Tina!

- Look at the car?

I feel like it's a rental.

- Tina doll.

I've come for you.

- Hey, get your stinking hands
off my car.

I'm talking over here.

- Okay.

I'm Vinny Chow, independent
associate-

- Oh hey, ain't you the guy

who was trying to pick
me up with the hot link?

- Uh, ugh, no.

- Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was
you.

- Uh, we all look alike?

- That's true.

Are you sure?

- I said we're busy.

Now scram.

- Hey, don't interfere
with family business.

I'm working for Al Capella.

- Oh, well, uh, hold on.

You're working for Mr. Al
Capella?

- Well, I'm not working for Al
Capella.

- "Well, I'm not working forl
Capella."

Huh, huh.

Yeah.

Are you even Italian?

- You, you talkin' to me?

- Get outta here.

Tina, get in the car.

- Hold on.

A girl could get far with
a guy connected to the Don.

- I'm gonna go shake down a
deli.

You're coming with me.

- See ya around, Rocco.

- Tina, get in the car.

Tina!

Fuhgeddaboutit!

- Hey, kid.

Don't you know drinking all
that soda's bad for you?

- Yeah?

My grandfather lived to be 80.

- Did he drink a lot of soda?

- No, he minded his own
business.

- Why you little wiseguy.

Get outta, hey, get out of
here you little, hit the road.

Next!

- Oregano, $3.99.

He's crazy and it stinks.

(upbeat jazz music)

- What are you doing, Vin?

- You know, you gotta watch
what you eat these days.

- It's dry pasta!

- Those hydrogenated oils and
trans fats.

Forget about it.

- Uh, sure, whatever.

Now, go demand some money so
you could take me shopping.

And then maybe I'll take you
somewhere.

Ugh, do something or I'm
leaving.

Maybe I can still catch Rocco?

- Hey, are you Salame?

- For Christ sake, I'm
counting money here.

Hey, what a lovely couple.

Do you like 69?

- I love beef and broccoli.

I'm Vinny Chow, independent
associative of Al Capella.

I'm here to collect 300 large.

- I'm 300 large!

Vinny Chow, what kinda name is
that?

I never heard no Chinese
with an Italian name?

- Just because someone
looks a certain way-

- Vinny, give me a break you.

- I'm here to collect.

You don't pay?

I gotta get rough.

- You're not even Italian.

All right, I'll tell you what?

Get anything you want and
I'll give you 30% off.

- You offering me a discount?

- I'm offering you a discount.

- You're offering me a discount?

- Are you hard of hearing?

I'm offering you a discount.

- I'm here shaking you
down, and you want me

to spend my money here?

- It's my one and only offer.

Try the veal, I'm here all week.

Next?

Oh, buddy, your glasses are
thicker than my provolone.

Get outta here.

- All right, I'll take
a pound of provolone.

- Coming right up.

That's how you do
business at Salame's Deli.

- You're not very good at th,
Vin.

- Why do I need to explain this?

- Uh, because I'm
holding groceries and you

borrowed 20 bucks from me?

- Well, you let me handle the
finances.

- Oh, you ain't gonna be
handlin'

nothin' if you keep this up.

Hey, ma, we brought you
something.

- Did you go to Salame's tod?

- Why do you always gotta ask
me?

- What?

It was 30 off today.

Oh, sorry.

Thank you for bringing this
stuff over.

(door slams)

(tires screeching)

- Hey, get in the car.

- No way.

Why?
- Get in the car.

(door slams)

(tires screech)

(light piano music)

- Come here, you son of a bitch.

Get over there!

Come on, come on.

- Look at this.

(laughs)

- Look at me, you.

You think this is a big joke,
huh?

- No, it's no joke.

This is kinda funny though.

Am I right?

- Oh, yeah?

You think what I do is funny?

Maybe you think I'm funny.

Funny how?

- What?

No.

- I know what it is, you lite
rat.

You think you're the Godfath.

Or maybe you think you're the
freakin'

Pope of Greenwich Village, h?

- I'm just trying to
prove myself mob worthy.

- This ain't "The Sopranos",
kid.

I don't care what you do on
the other side of Canal Stre.

But over here, nobody
messes with Al Capella.

I had enough of you.

Get the bats.

- With pleasure.

- Please.

- No, no, no, no.

That, not that bat.

Get the wax ones.

Not that one.

No, not that one either.

- Cheese, you wanna hit him with
cheese?

- That's too expensive!

That's the one.

Crack him!

(grunting)

All right, that's enough.

Now, get him outta here.

- [Knowledge] Ah, ya!

Why do you pursue them?

Where is the motivation?

- Every child thinks they're
special.

My parents with all their
offspring.

And I saw made guys getting
attention and respect.

- Your family never rejected
you.

And May is there for you.

- No wiseguy ever had a
Chinese girl on his arm.

- You're disturbed in so many
ways.

So, what about your wounds?

- I went to ask my master for
help.

- Ha!

Of course, you did.

(doorbell buzzing)

- [Vinny] I knew Sifu would x
me up

without all the questions.

- [Sifu] What happened?

(groans)

- I was admiring the uh,
the majestic cherry blossoms

when my bike flipped.

- If you would've developed your
kung-fu.

This wouldn't happen.

Ah.

(speaking foreign language)

- [Vinny] He taught me about
body pressure points used

to heal or to hurt someone

(bones cracking)

(groans)

(bones cracking)
(magical chimes ringing)

- Now, rest.

- Vincent!

- May!
- Stay.

Sifu called.

I came as soon as I could.

- I've got something to do in
Flushing.

Excuse me.

- What happened?

- [Sifu] Fell of a bike!

- You don't have a bike.

(groans)

- Ice cream?

(light orchestral music)

I wanted to get the best
jade bracelet for my girl.

And Ting's was just the place.

Best place for Chinese ice
cream.

They have lychee with red bes
and sweet

and sour sauce and no MSG.

Now, I look like an asshole.

- Why?

- Because I didn't hold the
door.

- It's all right.

I can buy you ice cream.

(giggles)

- [Vinny] Your own art galle,
exciting.

- I know.

The opening is in a week.

Would you go with me?

- Sure.

- Promise?

- You did all these?

- Hmm, yep, all of them.

You're really talented.

- Thank you for noticing.

- You have so many admirers,
why aren't you dating?

- I guess I just had my
heart set on one special guy

for as long as I can remember.

- I know how you feel, May.

- Vincent I-

- No matter how hard I
try, I just can't get

Tina to fall for me.

- Have you tried to be yourself,
Vincent?

I mean, why try to be like
others?

You're perfect as you are.

- I don't expect you to
understand.

- To understand you can't live
Italian when you're Chinese?

- Did not acting Chinese stop
Warner Oland

from being Charlie Chan?

- He was acting for televisi,
playing a stereotype.

Like you are doing right now
because you think a certain

kind of girl will like you.

It's not real.

- You pretend to be nice, May.

You're judgmental like the rest.

- Vincent, I would never-
- I need some air.

I'm gonna have lunch with Jo,
anyway.

(sighs)

- Please, don't go?

- Men, at some time are
masters of their fates.

The fault, dear Brutus,

is not in our stars

but in ourselves that we are
underlings.

(dramatic orchestral music)

(audience applauding)

(giggles)

Well, thank you, my darlings.

Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.

Um, wait.

Oh, who has the flyers for the
show?

(upbeat jazz music)

- My mom says hi and

this is for you.

Oh. I love me some Mexican.

- [Lawrence] Afternoon, Jose.

- What's going on, Lawrence?

- Well, you look horrendous.

And you look like you could
use some stress relief.

Here, let me get those
shoulders.

(giggles)

- Hey, Lawrence.

- Oh, it's never easy, is it?

(giggles)

Anyway, here are some flyers
for our new production

of Julius Caesar. Come down
to the playhouse and

play with us sometime.

- Asians don't look good in
tights.

- Yeah? Says you... Oh!

those bags under your eyes are
bigger than a Queen's purse.

I am offended by this, blech!

Do yourself and me a favor
and apply some Preparation H.

- His eyes are swollen, not s
ass.

- It constricts swollen tiss,
sweetie.

Oh, um, do you mind taping
these to the tops of pizza boxes

so, they go out with deliveries?

- Yeah, put a stack over the.

- Ah, you are a doll.

Okay, I take my leave of you.

I will see you Saturday at
brunch.

- Yeah, forget about it.
- Okay, bye.

- Yeah.

What is with you anyway, Vin?

- I'm just feeling down.

- Marone!

You didn't expect to do

what you did and not
get roughed up, did you?

I mean tryin' to extort
a pound of provolone

at Capella's corner?
- I was doing it for Tina.

Anyways, May and I had a fig.

Whatever it is, she's probably
right.

The people closest to you dot
like to see you get hurt.

- No...

- Put a word in with your uncle.

If Al Capella won't take me,

maybe Condimento will?

- That's a big request.

- I know.

If it backfires, they'll break
your legs.

But that's what friends do,
right?

- All right, I, I can talk to
him.

- Thanks.

(dramatic orchestral music)

Hung Phat had the idea of
relabeling ramen noodles

as Marco Polo Pasta and
moving them into Little Italy.

- [Sean] Gentlemen.

(speaking foreign language)

- The Italians stole our
noodles,

called it spaghetti.

We must steal it back.

- Japanese ramen.

Why not Chinese noodles?

(speaking foreign language)

(laughing)

- Stupid fool, we must
respect honored noodles.

We use Japanese to fool
Italians.

(laughs sarcastically)

- That might work for a while
but

we need a better plan to ruin
them.

I want all their territory.

All of it.

- Everything is good.

Our trucks are ready to
deliver first thing tomorrow.

- I've got men in place

to arrest the Italians
if they start trouble.

Disturbing the peace, and all
that.

(speaking foreign language)

(laughing)

(coughing)

(speaking foreign language)

- [Vinny] If his plan backfires,

there's gonna be big
trouble in little Chinatown.

So, Hung Phat called on its top
masters

and their disciples for backup.

(percussive music)

- Forms don't hit back.

(grunting)

(shouting)

(laughing)

- So, what'd you bring me?

- Well, listen, we're jarring
up the sauce over here at the

Kitchen Conciliere now.

And we're using all
your spices to make it.

And uh, we are gonna sell
it in the supermarkets.

And here's the best part.

- I get 10%.

- 10?

Well, if you only want 10,
but we got you in for 20.

- Oh, you're a beautiful thi.

- And well, Capella thinks
he's in for a piece.

- Yeah, you know what?

- 5% and that's it for him.

- You did the right thing.

You made the right decision.

You know, I had my doubts abt
you,

but you did good, you know,
right?

- I hope so?

- All right, we'll talk later.
That's about it.

- You take care, all right?
- Alright, goodbye. Alright.

Oh, you're like an animal over
there, huh?

Like, drink uh, like a man.

Like a man!

- Like this, boss.

- You see this guy, Jojo?

He used to work for Capella.

Now he's with us.

He understands.

- He may understand but doese
remember?

And where are my two liters?

- Understanding is not enough.

You need to control him.

(grunting)

- I control him.

You see how much he shows me
respect?

- That's reactionary!

If you're gonna win this war,
you need to

be proactive.

Start moving product into new
territory,

slash the tires of your

competition and take over thr
routes

- I'm doing everything you wt
me to do,

but I need more insurances.

- I'll make sure your
men don't get arrested,

you gotta up the effort.

- Boy!
- That was weird.

- Whoa, you're telling me, h?

pharmacy
pick me up some meds, huh?

- And some extra strength
little blue pills.

- Blue pills?

Hey, what do you have
problems with your pipes

and your equipment?

- Fonggu, it's my 25-year-old
girlfriend

and those fried empanadas.

I can't resist either.

- Why don't you try these?

They work for me.

(phone rings)

- Hey, yeah?

Yeah, how you doing, Joey?

Huh?

How is your mom?

Good, good, good.

Yeah, yeah, shoot.

Oh, really?

Oh, I'll see what I can do.

- What's that?

You got that look.

- That was my nephew.

You won't believe what he just
asked me.

It's like a miracle from the
Lord.

- How is that?

- He's got this friend who's
got that specific look we

were talking about?

He wants a job!

- Why don't you ask the guy
to meet us at the diner?

I'll be in the back, listening
in.

Okay?

- Joey!

thank you so much for
talking to your uncle for me.

- It's okay.

He said he had a, uh, a
dangerous job for

a unique type of individual.

- Dangerous?

- You want this or not?

- Yeah, yeah.

(light orchestral music)

- That guy don't give up.

(laughing)

- All right.

We got a lemon lime,

we got a cherry,

we got a regular.

Anything else?

- Never grab another man's
beverage.

It appears that you, Mr. Chow,

are uniquely qualified
for a very special job.

- Thank you, Uncle Eddie.

May I call you uncle?

- No, you may not.

- No, of course not.

Uh, Mr. Soda.

(wind chimes ringing)

(fingers snapping)

- Hey, pay attention over he.

- Hey, you don't snap at me.

- Look, you got this or what?

'Cause I gotta go.

Be at my place seven o'clock
tonight.

Bring this dinner and do me
a favor, Tina, don't be late.

Okay?

- You are not going over the.

- What can a girl do?

It's slim pickins around here.

- Well, it depends what
you're looking for.

willing to build a life
Every gitogether.es a man

- I think you should know that

this job presents a unique
challenge.

It is very dangerous.

Do we understand?

- Vinny is up for any challenge.

- When we're together,

you do not speak unless I tell
you.

Do you understand?

(phone ringing)

Yeah?

Okay, yeah.

Okay, Don Condimento wants
to talk to you personally.

I'm going to take you
back to see him, okay?

Listen, you act cool and
you don't make a scene.

We don't want any undue
attention.

Do we understand?

- Yeah.

Of course, for sure.

(sighing)

- Listen, uh, what's wrong wh
you?

I told you to be cool.

You wrinkled my jacket.

- Sorry.

I didn't know "take you to
the back" meant one booth.

- Come on, get in there, the two
of you.

Sit down.

Move over.

- I understand you're looking
for a job with the family.

I understand you're willing

to do what it takes to earn a
position

in the family.

I understand that you don't k
questions.

- Yes, Mr. Condimento.

- You don't talk to me.

In fact, you never met me.

If you got something to say,

you say to Eddie here.

- Please tell Mr. Condimento
I said, "Yes, sir."

- You will distribute 300
gallons

of olive oil in Chinatown.

Clean and simple.

- This is unorthodox, never been
done.

And, you do not mess up

or you will face serious
consequences.

Serious consequences
for you and your family.

- Do we understand?

- Yes.

You won't regret this.

- You don't talk to nobody,

nobody about this arrangement.

Huh?

- Do we understand?

- Enough with this "do we
understand?"

I think he understands.

- Sorry, boss.

You know how I get when
I don't have my soda.

- Do we understand?

- [Eddie] Leave us now.

Come on.

Get outta here.

- I think that went really well.

- Yeah?

(camera shutter clicking)

- Hmm.

You know,

I think we just found someone
stupid enough to do this.

- I think we did.

(laughing)

- You gotta watch all that
sugar.

You're going to catch the
diabetes.

- I use protection.

- [Man] I got four skippers
coming in and one of them

I think is working for
Condimento himself.

- [Man] Really?

- We gotta find out who it is.

- Well, I gotta get going, boss.

- No.

You ain't going nowhere.

Sit down.

- Why, what's up?

- You might have to make funeral
arrangements for somebody.

- Funeral arrangements, for who?

Who died?

- I don't know yet.

Let me get around here.

(dramatic orchestral music)

What I gotta deal with.

What are you looking away for?

- Al, can you let me off the
hook, please?

For old time's sake.

- Jojo, I love you.

(laughing)

God bless you, pal.

* Ave Maria

(singing in foreign language)

He sings good, huh?

(light orchestral music)

- I just had the greatest day.

May, I'm sorry about yesterd.

I was just a little anxious
about things.

- Tell us about your day.

- Yes.

Where have you been, Vincent?

You were supposed to be hee
at noon to watch your siblin.

- I had a job interview.

- An interview?

What position?

- Delivering olive oil.

- Italian olive oil, huh?

How much do they pay you?

- It's a trial period.

Forget about it.

- Loh Moh!

Uh, uh, did you hear this?

The Italians are making
slave labor of the,

of the stupid among us.

- Marone, I'm dyin' over here.

- What happened to your
Chinese accent, Vincent?

- I was raised in New York, .

I never had a Chinese accent.

- He eats too much
spaghetti when he's out.

- Vincent, my gallery
is in a couple of days.

Promise to escort me?

- I'll be there, May.
I promise.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have a really big day
tomorrow.

(sighing)

- When he comes around,

the world will finally make
sense.

-We only wish the best
for Vincent.

But why you wait for him
is a great mystery.

- It's all I can do.

I love his authenticity. He
lives from his heart.

could
- Ifproduce authentic jobs.rt

- [Vinny] There I was,

pushing Italian olive oil in
Chinatown.

My first stop was Liu's herbal
shop.

- Vincent, what have you got
there?

- Ancient Liu, this is olive
oil.

- Difficult product to sell in
Chinatown.

- It's the best olive oil
money can buy, though.

Fresh olives, pressed only once.

It's called extra virgin.

- Virgin?

We like our virgins.

- Yeah, how many cases you want?

Uh, you can infuse them with
your tonics.

- My herbs make a limp man
solid.

Your father, best customer.

Enormous libido makes his back
weak.

Cause and effect, you know?

- Sure.

Because you are so good to my
father,

I'll give you a discount.

- You're a good son.

You look after your parents

and you care for their health.

That is honorable.

- Thanks, ancient one.

But I-

- Vincent, your father
has good credit here.

- Ancient Liu is just so
darn polite and spiritual.

Or did he just hustle me?

(door chimes)

(light orchestral music)

Hey, how are you doing?

You want some olive oil?

- Huh?

- You want some olive oil?

- No.

- No?

Are you sure?

This was an actual job with e
mob.

But no one was taking the oil.

I just had to prove myself.

I couldn't fail.

It's time to use intimidation
and force the noodle maker

to buy olive oil.

- [Woman] No!

I don't buy.

Peanut oil only.

- I got a full shipment of olive
oil.

- [Woman] I tell you, I
have plenty wok oil here.

- No, no, no.

I give the orders around here.

Go tell your little boys to go
stock it!

Ahh.

- You go now.

I call Mr. Hung Phat.

- Forget about it.

- Forget about nothing, I hit
you again.

Waste my time.

(speaking foreign language)

- The ginger fresh. Just come
in.

Ah, look at this lettuce.
Organic!

Ah, excellent okra. Yeah, go.

So, you're here, huh?

Yes, look at these oranges.
Fresh!

- Just dropping off some this
from Liu the Ancient.

- Ooh. (chuckles)

- Got some things in there
for mom, too.

- Alright.

Oh, yeah it's nice. Oh, jeeze.

Oh my gosh. Sorry, huh.

Take this one. This one
whole. Not broken.

(speaking foreign language)

(laughing)

- Olive oil in Chinatown.

Vincent Chow.

- I can deal with him.

Bring me Vincent Chow!

Now!

- Angora!

knock it off.

Sit down.

This is very important today.

Don Vincenzo's coming in from
Sicily to set things right

between the crews.

- Condimento's got no power
though.

- Well, he's got enough
juice to bring the Don in on

special occasion, doesn't he?

- Yeah.

- Here's what we're gonna do.

We're gonna pick him up at the
airport.

You got it?

I'm gonna show him the ledger.

I gotta be very persuasive.

You two get the limo ready.

Make sure it's polished.

Make sure the cheese is aged.

And, you know what?

Get some homemade wine, I thk
the old man will like that.

Okay?

And then, go to Chinatown
and find out what

the hell is going on over the

'cause something ain't kosher.

What are you waiting for?

Go!

They're like the gang that
couldn't

shoot straight, these two.

Where'd you get 'em?

(upbeat electronic music)
(all chattering)

- May, how are you and
Vincent, uh, getting it on?

- Auntie is only looking after
your futures.

Vincent has yet to have a nice
date.

We have hopes that the two of
you.

- Let's not get ahead of
ourselves.

We just want the best partner
for our May.

- Look at you with your art
opening.

(laughing)

- I know.

(chuckles)

- You know what?

Guys, have you heard?

Vincent, I mean, Vinny,

has been hanging out in Little
Italy

acting like a guido.

- Is that true, Vincent?

Did you act like a gui-do?

- No, not like a guido.

- Mm-hmm.

You know everybody has
been talking about it and

that like he's trying to get
with this girl who goes around

and tried to steal some
cheese from the deli?

- It wasn't stealing anything.

- May!

I can't believe May would
just walk out like that.

(May sniffles)

- May.

Forget about that.

Tonight is about you.

It's your special night.

- I have loved you my
entire life, Vincent.

I always thought if I waited
long enough, you would

recognize you have feelings r
me, too.

Have I only wasted my time?

- I just never thought-

- That's just it, Vincent.

Why do you think I'm always at
your house?

I'm there to see you,
to spend time with you.

We had so many moments, yet,

you have been oblivious to tm
all.

That's not true.

- Chow, what's wrong
with that son of yours?

- Uh, you should love him.

He doesn't act Chinese.

- Vincent, listen carefully,

Hung-Phat is looking for you.

And it's serious.

- A few cans, that's all there
was.

(speaking foreign language)

- Apologize to him

he may crush your bones,
but at least you'll live.

(speaking foreign language)

I'll be watching from the
shadows.

- Look, ma.

Look what that cute Chinese y
gave me.

- Who?

That delivery boy from the other
day?

(scoffing)

He doesn't stand a chance with
you.

- You never know.

- What is it?

You don't like Italians anymore?

What?

You like Chinese now?

- You know, ma?

Race has got nothing to do wh
it

- Stop already.

- I think it's cute, I think
it's little, it's cute.

It's very small.

It's cute.

(dramatic orchestral music)

- [Vinny] Hung-Phat was coming
for me.

Tina started liking me.

May is mad at me, and my
parents are threatened.

It's no wonder I ended up in
trouble.

- Oh, we're gonna see about
that, honey.

Well, hello, Vincent.

Hmm?

- I think I'm being followed.

- Things didn't go well?

- I hardly placed any cans.

It's like the Chinese
don't speak my language.

(loud banging)

- Okay, enough of this dumbness.

What gives?

- I'm trying to distribute the
mob's

Italian olive oil in Chinato.

I'm supposed to explain myself
to Triads

who found out but now are
following me Wait, wait.

- The mob?

The triad?

Okay, look,

I am not one to judge
a lifestyle but damn!

This is some crazy shit!

- I don't want to face
Chinese water torture.

I don't want to wear cement
boots, either.

- I told you family life was
dangerous.

You gotta lay low today.

After brunch.

embraces their role, the
- Vincenaudiencethe actor

just can't resist.

They're hooked.

- Yeah, Vin, you gotta
walk it like you talk it.

And, you better speed walk it,

or we're all gonna be in deep
shit.

- I'm not gonna be in deep shit.

- We're gonna be in deep shit.

- Okay.
- Right.

I've come this far.

No turning back.

Time to play the main guy ro.

No more eating rice.

- Mmm.

Testify, little brother.

- No more eating egg rolls.

- Embrace the wise guy within.

- Forget about it.

It's like if you agree
with someone, you know?

Like Scarlett Johansson's
one great piece of ass.

Forget about it.

It also can mean "go to hell,"
too.

Like, "Hey, Paulie.

You got a one-inch pepper."

- Oh.

- But sometimes it just
means "forget about it."

(claps)

- Bravo, Vinny.

Bravo.

Forget about it!

- [All] Forget about it!

- You know what you wanna order?

Never a knife when you need one.

Thank you.

- Vincent Chow!

(yelling)

(disco music)

- I got this.

(shouting)

- Should have never
invited you out to brunch.

(screams)

(screaming)

(grunting)

- No turning back.

- Freeze.

(grunting)

- Forget about it!

(upbeat dance music)

- Time's running out, Mr. Vinny.

- I'm Special Agent Johnson.

And this is my partner,
Special Agent Johnson.

- Oh, that's cute.

Like, uh, Johnson and Johnson.

I love the baby oil.

- We prefer "The Two Johnson"

- Ooh.

Double Dutch fudge.

Double, double Dutch fudge.

- We're from the Department
of Food Safety and Hygiene.

- Is that a real thing?

- It's been a rough couple of
weeks, hasn't it, Mr. Chung?

- Oh, oh, uh, I told him.

I told him it would be a bad
idea.

- That was some crazy ass trd
shit.

- And I know that Mr. Lawrence

your martial arts skills are
pretty good.

- Well, you know.

(laughing)

I'm just trying to uphold the
long line

of Black Martial Arts heroes.

- Like Ron Van Clief, The Blk
Dragon?

- Jim Kelly in "Enter the
Dragon"

and as "Black Belt Jones."

- Wesley Snipes in "Blade."

- Oh, oh.

And, Eddie Griffin in
"Undercover Brother."

- Oh, Jeez.

- What?

It's a good film.

- Mr. Ching, we have been
tracking food

and spice distribution
syndicate of the New York mob.

And we are well aware of your
interactions

with Capella and Condimento.

- Commissioner O'Greedy has
joined forces with the evil

triad leader Hung Phat

to take over Little Italy.

- And thanks to your olive oil
fiasco,

Hung-Phat is looking for you.

- I was just trying to extort
some cash and distribute

some olive oil cans.

And what is with this ching
chong?

My last name is Chow!

- Sorry.

We got you confused with the
other Korean

gentlemen we are tailing.

- That's racist.

I'm not Korean, I'm Chinese.

- I thought you were Italian.

- Only in his mind.

- You're not helping.

- I'm just saying.

- Gentlemen, concentrate!

Condimento set you up
to fall like soufflé.

Your friends, your family,
they're all in danger.

We believe we may have a way out
for you.

And, we believe you have the
motivation to pull this off.

- Yes.

Anything to protect my family
and friends.

- Good.

Vincenzo Cento,

the Sicilian Don of all Dons
will be arriving in New York

to broker peace between
Condimento and Capella.

- That's where you come in Mr.
Chow.

- What?

- We need that ledgers showing
where

they get their products,

how they store it, and what
the real expiration dates are,

and everybody involved.

We need all this stuff to nail
these guys.

- What does that have to with
me?

- We need you to go undercov,

deep undercover.

Infiltrate the mob

and get those ledgers.

- We need you to impersonate the
Don.

- No way.

I've seen the movies.

You go in alive and you come out
dead.

And it's usually your
best friend who does it.

I don't want to put Joey
through that pressure.

(sobbing)

- I appreciate that.

- I couldn't even extort
provolone.

And, I don't even look Itali.

- A white guy played Charlie
Chan, I believed him.

- Charlie Chan is white guy?

- Besides, no one's seen the
don.

There is not one photo of him.

- And your friend, Lawrence
here is pretty good with makeup.

He can actually make
you look like the Don.

- Oh.

Oh, oh.

Hell no.

No.

That shit ain't gonna work.

- Thanks, Lawrence.

- Well?

- The Johnsons are right,
though.

This is the only way we can x
it.

What would Shakespeare do?

- Though this be madness.

Yet there is method in it.

Aw, what the hell?

Besides, I might like me an
Italian guy to rough me up.

Mm-hmm.

I'm looking at you, Vinny Ch.

- Okay, gentlemen.

So, we have an agreement?

- Yeah.

- Excellent.

- Good.

- Let's do it.
-Whoa, woah!

Charlie Chan is a white guy?

(light acoustic guitar music)

- This is the big moment to be
the don.

It's do

or die.

We've never met.

We've known each other
many years but this is the

first time you came to
me for counsel, for help.

- Godfather, if I must say,

we are so grateful for your
counsel.

It's truly our loss
that you are so far away

in the old country.

- How did this happen?

A rivalry within the family?

- Hey, I sell the spices and the
herbs.

But this greedy Al Capella,
he's like a little baby boy o

wants all the candy for himself.

Look, product out big, profit in
small,

invoices from Brooklyn paid,

invoices from Manhattan, not
paid.

- Mm-hmm.

You're giving me a lot
of answers but you're

not giving me the right ones.

- I gotta say, boss,

I think the Don is right.

I think we should cooperate.

- Yeah, well, this bum is full

of shit because he's taken way

more than he deserves from the
back-end.

You wanna see?

Here, Godfather.

Excuse me.

Take a look at this.

I'd like to run this bum outf
town,

but you know what would happ?

The Chinese would detect that
we got weakness in the family.

And then they run in right
away with their gingers and

their spices.

Five spices, in fact!

- How about them moo shu
pancakes, huh?

Fluffy, am I right?

- Fluffy?

Moo shu?

- Forget about it.
- Fluffy.

Moo shu pancake?

- There's nothing quite
like a good pasta and sauce.

- Pasta?

Who calls it pasta?

- There's spaghetti and thers
macaroni.

Forget about it.

- This tastes like freaking
cardboard.

Do me a favor sweetheart,
get the box, huh.

Let me look at this.

Marco Polo, what is this shit?

(dramatic orchestral music)

Ramen King?

Do you believe this?

Get it outta here!

- [Man] I knew it, I knew it.

He's a fake!

- [Man] It's that wannabe, Vinny
Chow.

Get him.

- [Man] Let's get him.

(suspenseful music)

(grunting)

(bottle shattering)
- Oooooh!

(grunting)

- Get him!

He's working for the Triads.

I knew it.

- I thought nobody makes a fl
of Capella

and gets away with it?

- Get on line, pal, 'cause
he's got you on ledger, too.

- What?

Get the Chinaman!

- [Man] We'll go to the
mattresses.

- That's it, I'm calling Luca.

- He's calling Luca?

He's calling Luca Fajioli!

(grunting)

(phone rings)

- Hang on.

You just got lucky, wait 'til
round two.

Yeah?

- Hey, Luc.
- Oh, boss.

- Do me a favor, huh?

Get the stilettos, the guns,
the knives, whatever you got.

And bring them down here.

And I want you to grab
Johnny T, Produce Joe,

Donny the Baker,

and Salame the Deli Man.

All right?

- The Deli Man?

What's that fat rat bastard
going to do?

Sit on them?

(laughing)

- We need manpower.

Shut up.

- Ask him to call up the
rest of my guys here.

I got, I got no service here.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, ye.

And do me a favor,

call up Condimento's
garlic goombas, all right.

This idiot forgot to
charge his phone again.

- Whoa, whoa.
- What else is new?

I had a busy day, I ain't got
no time to charge a phone.

- Yeah, you're probably
callin' the broads.

(grunting)

(clapping)

(grunting)

- [Vinny] What was that?

- The sound of one hand
clapping.

(laughing)

- Three against one?

- You're a very clever young
man.

(speaking foreign language)

- I wasn't really working for
them.

- Bullshit.

- It was just a trial.

- Trial?

Oh yeah.

(speaking foreign language)

- I was just trying to impress
a girl, get some respect and

make a little money.

You of all people should
understand that.

- Wrong.

(speaking foreign language)

(grunting)

(groaning)

No one gets made in Chinatown.

- Hung Phat!

(grunting)

- Vincent!

(phone ringing)

(speaking foreign language)

What?

(speaking foreign language)

(grunting)

- [Sifu] May, are you okay?

- [May] Forget about me.

What about Vincent?

(speaking foreign language)

- Break us free.

These ropes are thick, I'm tiny.

(speaking foreign language)

- You think I'm fat?

Is that why Vincent doesn't
like me because I'm fat?

(speaking foreign language)

- You guys got problems.

- You okay?

(speaking foreign language)

- There's no time.

I have to get Hung-Phat's
ledger.

(speaking foreign language)

- Get that to the agents.

I'm going to Hung-Phat's
warehouse.

Call Lawrence.

Sifu, let's go.

- Hai!

(suspenseful orchestral music)

(Hung taps on table)

(suspenseful orchestral music)

(speaking foreign language)

- Oh, there's that wanna
be Chinese wise guy.

Get him!

(speaking foreign language)

(all shouting)

- You know what?

We're too old for this.

- You ain't kidding.

My back is killing me.

Let's go sit down.

- You got sciatica or something?

- I got something, I don't know.

My leg is hurting.

- Well I know this masseuse.

You know?

- Yeah?

- Does she do happy ending?

- Oh, yeah.

(grunting)

- [May] Vincent!

(heart beating)

Vincent!

Vincent!

(all shouting)

(grunting)

(groans)

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no.

(grunting)

(suspenseful music)

(bones breaking)

(grunting)

- Look at the way they fight.

They don't fight like we used
to.

- Yeah.

I taught you everything you
know.

- Yeah, I know.

You taught me the
one-five-one-five.

Two, three, and four I got.

Thanks a lot.

- May.

May.

(dramatic orchestral music)

May.

Are you okay?

- I'm okay.

(sighing)

- Good job, officers.

I have Intel that'll put
these gangsters away for life.

I'm on your side.

That damn Vincent Chow.

He can say, "forget about it"

just not in Chinese.

His mom sent him out for lo
mein, he came back with penne.

- What the hell is going on?

- What's this?

- You played me like a puppet.

- Yeah, it was a good plan, too,
huh?

Am I right?

Am I right?

- What do you think of me now
Mr. Capella?

- You surprised us all, you
freaking rat.

You'll get yours.

- What do you got, shoe
polish on your eye?

- Come on, don't be so rough,
huh?

Can I get a soda?

Come on, I feel a little
parched.

(laughing)

- Mr. Chow, couple of questis
for you.

- I'll meet you outside in a
minute.

- Wow, Vin.

You're even more powerful than
the mob.

A girl could really
have a future connected

to a guy like you.

I always lose the good ones.

(dramatic piano music)

- [Vinny] Now, do you see my
problem?

- Oh-ho, you got a problem!

- Okay, let's see if we got
this.

Uh, you a Chinese guy

who seek out a gay black man and
turn you

into an Italian wise guy?

- You like a girl who has no

interest in who you are.

But, she's Italian

and has nice body.

- And, another girl who
likes you for who you are,

but you no interested in
her because she is Chinese.

- You dismiss your Chinese
family and culture.

And your only friend is
Italian boy who is now Mexic.

- And you managed to
get the Italian and the

Chinese mafia trying to kill
you.

- [Both] Forget about it!

- And yet,

in the end, you foiled them

and become a hero.

- And now, you're in love.

- Did we miss anything?

- No, but when you put it that
way,

it just sounds so unhealthy.

- Unhealthy, yes.

But understandable.

- I was just looking
for acceptance, respect,

and the love of a woman.

- And you achieved all that.

Not from intimidation,

but while being selfless
and helping others.

- But May saw Tina kiss me and
ran off.

I've lost her.

- You have not lost her.

She's waiting for you to come to
her.

Forget what we say.

Wisdom and knowledge is within
you.

- Go!

Go get the girl.

(dramatic orchestral music)

- I couldn't reach May.

I called, left her messages,
texts, and social media posts.

She finally texted me to
meet her on the rooftop.

May.

I wanted to thank you for
everything

and that I've been a real je.

- Yes, you have been.

- Look, I came all the way
from Columbus Park to tell you

that you're charismatic,

beautiful,

and that I wanna be with you.

- How about Tina?

How about the mob?

- Forget all that.

I was misled and now I
know who I really am.

Look, I want you to have this.

- Are you kidding me?

I would never accept a recycd
gift.

When you understand that,
you can get a girl like me.

- May, I'm trying my best to
tell you

that I love you.

- You're not a very
well-put-together guy, Vince.

- Look, a guy's gotta look
out for his own future.

And I want you in mine.

Here's your real gift, May

My grandmother's jade Buddha.

- It's, it's precious.

(wind chimes ringing)

- [Vinny] You know, we
could make a big family

and start our own La Famiglia.

And, take over lower Manhatt.

Better yet, maybe we move down
to Philly

and infiltrate the cheese stk
business.

Nah, forget about it!

(upbeat jazz music)

* I didn't see you coming

* Until it was too late

* I didn't see you coming

* I thought I'd have to wait

* I didn't see you coming

* I thought I would be blue

* Because, baby, I never
expected you *

* I didn't know what hit me

* Until I hit the ground

* I didn't know what hit me

* I didn't make a sound

* I didn't know what hit me

* You shook me through and
through *

* Because, baby, I never
expected you *

* I never expected to
feel this way again *

* But it seems we've
met and kissed before *

* Although I can not tell
exactly where or when *

* I never knew the magic

* A single kiss could give

* I never knew your magic

* Would make my poor heart le
*

* I never knew the magic

* That only you could do

* Because, baby, I never
expected you *

* I never expected to
feel this way again *

* But it seems we've
met and kissed before *

* Although I can not tell
exactly where or when *

* I never knew the magic

* A single kiss could do

* Oh, I never knew your magic

* Would make my poor heart le
*

* I never knew the magic

* That only you could do

* Because, baby, I never
expected you *

* Because, baby, I never
expected you *

* Because, baby

* I never expected you

(laughing)