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1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:07,299
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2
00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:11,762
(WONDERFUL WORLD PLAYING)
3
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,924
Albert! Albert!
4
00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:02,474
Don't let him get away, Albert.
5
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:17,906
(WHINING)
6
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:21,285
Hey, boy, hey.
7
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:24,538
Go away.
Why don't you go play in the water?
8
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:27,708
Go chase the wind. Come on. Go away.
There's not room for both of us.
9
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:29,251
(GROWLING)
10
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:32,045
Okay, you just stay right where you are.
11
00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:40,846
Come on. Get off the blanket, will you?
I want to lie down.
12
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:42,931
Hey, lady, is this your horse?
13
00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:45,142
He's a dog, and his name is Albert.
14
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,852
He's interested in new things.
15
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:50,480
- Well, I'm not a new thing.
- But to Albert you are.
16
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:53,317
Do you mind if I sit here a moment
on the sand?
17
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,194
It's not my sand. Sit anywhere you like.
18
00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:57,905
Thank you.
19
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,867
The sand is grainy.
20
00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,411
It usually is.
21
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,331
Do you mind if I sit on your blanket?
22
00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:09,708
Help yourself.
23
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,841
Today, I feel like Alice.
24
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:19,885
That's nice.
25
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,553
- Yours?
- What?
26
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,639
- Your name.
- Greg Nolan.
27
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,307
- Married?
- Nope.
28
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:27,684
- Want to be?
- Not if I can help it.
29
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:31,605
I'll bet you're a marvelous lover.
30
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,483
I'm representing the United States
in the Olympics,
31
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:35,859
but I don't think I'll do too well.
32
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,402
Oh? Why not?
33
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,905
Mexico City. Too much altitude.
34
00:04:40,239 --> 00:04:42,199
Would you like to train?
35
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:45,118
- For the Olympics?
- What else?
36
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,412
You come on pretty strong, don't you?
37
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,916
No. Not really.
It's just a theoretical question.
38
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,671
- But answer me.
- Restate the question.
39
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:58,215
Would you like to make love to me?
40
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:03,595
- In front of Albert?
- Don't you think I'm attractive?
41
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,807
- You're too much.
- How do you mean that?
42
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:09,393
You know, it's very difficult
being a beautiful woman.
43
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,770
Men just never leave you alone.
44
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:15,274
You won't believe this, baby,
but I'm leaving you alone.
45
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,150
- Do me a favor.
- What?
46
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,278
Come close to me.
47
00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:21,989
Closer.
48
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:27,244
(WHINING)
49
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:33,959
- Well?
- Well, what?
50
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,503
Well, did you hear a nightingale?
51
00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:40,132
Did the blood dash
against the distant shores of your heart?
52
00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,383
Nope.
53
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,927
- What did you feel?
- Nothing.
54
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,012
Nothing?
55
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:47,222
- N-O-T-H...
- Sic him, Albert.
56
00:05:47,306 --> 00:05:49,141
Hold it. Watch it, Albert.
57
00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:52,186
- Down, boy. Call him off!
- Sic him, Albert!
58
00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:56,356
Hey, maybe we should
practice some more.
59
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,150
- I'm sure we could work this out.
- Get him, Albert!
60
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:02,112
Hey, get away. Hey, lady.
Hold it, Albert, don't bite.
61
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,823
GREG: Down, boy.
62
00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:06,742
Call him off.
63
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,952
(ALBERT BARKING)
64
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:12,539
Get him out of here. Hey, wait a minute.
65
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:18,545
Move over this way a little bit, Albert.
I can't see your face.
66
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:23,717
Smile, Greg, darling.
67
00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:27,346
I'll make you smile
if I ever get my hands on you.
68
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:32,809
Come on, dog. Get back. Hold it, Albert.
69
00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:55,249
Come on, let's go home.
70
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:58,043
Hurry now, or we'll go without you.
71
00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:59,753
(SHIVERING)
72
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,768
A person who does not know
when to come out of the water
73
00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:17,104
should never be allowed in.
74
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,607
Come on. Let's go, Albert.
75
00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:38,625
Come on in the john,
and we'll get those wet clothes off of you.
76
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:42,337
Oh, no, we won't.
I can take my own clothes off.
77
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,674
Bring him in here, Albert.
78
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:50,804
Watch it. Albert.
79
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:52,723
Thank you, Albert.
80
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,850
That's better.
81
00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:59,313
Greg, you're burning up.
82
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,565
You've got to learn
to take care of yourself.
83
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:06,111
Look, if you really want to help,
go make me a hot buttered rum.
84
00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:09,489
You've got to get out of these wet
clothes, so you won't freeze to death.
85
00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:11,992
If you'll get out of here, I will.
86
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,161
Suit yourself.
87
00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:23,253
Bring me your wet clothes,
and I'll put them in the dryer.
88
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,423
Hurry up. You're dripping on my floor.
89
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,347
GREG: Okay. Okay.
90
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:37,809
Here they are.
91
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:43,607
Here. Put these on.
92
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,151
- Where're you going?
- I'll be back in a minute.
93
00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:47,903
Hey.
94
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:55,661
Nuts. Absolutely nuts.
95
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:08,340
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
96
00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:18,350
Hi, there. Here's your groceries.
97
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:19,685
- Thanks.
- Where's Suzie?
98
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,937
- Who?
- Suzie.
99
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,899
Who's Suzie?
Are you sure you got the right house?
100
00:09:25,983 --> 00:09:28,485
Yeah, are you?
101
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:31,530
- Say hello to Suzie for me.
- Suzie?
102
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:35,117
Listen, tell her I'll try to get here
just a little earlier next time.
103
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,368
(BOTH CLICKING TONGUES)
104
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:40,998
- Bye-bye.
- Bye-bye.
105
00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:43,917
Smart aleck kid.
106
00:09:48,422 --> 00:09:49,882
Come on.
107
00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:56,555
Albert? Want a roommate?
108
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,226
Albert says it's all right
if you sleep on his sofa.
109
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,936
Well, that's very nice of him.
110
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,772
Hey, look, there was some guy
that walked in here just now.
111
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:08,275
Greg, you're burning up.
Did you know that?
112
00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:11,153
Yeah, and I think I'm seeing things, too.
113
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,490
- Is this yours?
- No.
114
00:10:15,574 --> 00:10:18,076
- Albert's?
- Don't be silly.
115
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:21,747
- Open up.
- What's that?
116
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:26,126
Fast, fast, incredibly fast relief. Open wide.
117
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:27,461
(CHOKING)
118
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,632
That's much better. Now, sit down.
119
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,383
Lie down and try to get some sleep.
120
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:36,053
Yeah, sure, sure.
121
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:39,473
Don't forget to put the groceries away.
122
00:10:39,765 --> 00:10:42,100
What groceries?
123
00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:43,894
Forget it.
124
00:10:46,772 --> 00:10:48,190
Good night.
125
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:50,734
Night, Albert.
126
00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:19,137
(ALBERT SNORING)
127
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,173
Well, and how are we today?
128
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,883
Oh, great. Just great.
129
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:56,967
What are you doing down there?
130
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,011
You'd be much more comfortable
on the sofa.
131
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,263
I was just thinking the same thing.
132
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:02,848
Come on.
133
00:12:04,016 --> 00:12:05,017
What day is it?
134
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,186
- Oh, it's only Thursday.
- Thursday?
135
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,937
What happened to Monday, Tuesday
and Wednesday?
136
00:12:09,021 --> 00:12:10,147
I got to get back to my job.
137
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,691
You're not going anywhere
until you've fully recovered.
138
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:15,444
Hi, Betty. Hi. Need any eggs today?
139
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:17,196
Oh, no, thank you. Just some margarine.
140
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,239
Oh, and I left some French toast for you
in on the sink.
141
00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:21,867
Oh, thank you, Betty.
Well, I'll see you Saturday.
142
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,202
BERNICE: Bye.
143
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:25,871
- His?
- Don't be ridiculous.
144
00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:28,749
I think you still have a bit of a fever.
145
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,083
(MUMBLING)
146
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:31,919
What'd you say?
147
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,796
I said, I thought you told me
your name was Alice.
148
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,883
Oh, yes. Well, you can call me Mrs. Baby.
149
00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:39,134
Mrs. Baby?
150
00:12:39,218 --> 00:12:40,761
Now, put that there and don't talk,
151
00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:43,931
and I shall tell you
how I met my husband, Harry Baby,
152
00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:47,476
who is unfortunately dead
of an affliction of the liver.
153
00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:51,688
I was driving down Wilshire Boulevard
and Harry was in the left lane.
154
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:54,816
- There he was with his left thing blinking.
- Hmm?
155
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:57,402
His turning dealie, you know.
156
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,738
Here I had just met
the only man I'd ever love,
157
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:02,282
and he was about to make
a left turn right out of my life.
158
00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:05,786
- So what did I do? What could I do?
- I don't know.
159
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,788
I cut my wheels hard to the left
160
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:11,708
and stepped on the... What do you call it?
You know, the gas dealie,
161
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:15,170
and smashed in his right door.
Quick thinking.
162
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:19,716
And then he fell in love with me,
and we got married,
163
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,427
and he developed whooping cough
and died.
164
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:25,639
Whooping cough? I thought you said
he died of an affliction of the liver.
165
00:13:25,681 --> 00:13:27,975
Well, what's the difference?
166
00:13:28,058 --> 00:13:29,935
- Just as I thought.
- What, what, what?
167
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,563
98.6!
You better take some more medicine.
168
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:35,190
- But that's normal.
- You wanna die like Harry?
169
00:13:35,274 --> 00:13:37,317
- You don't even know what he died of.
- Well, neither did he.
170
00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:39,611
Give me your hand. Now swallow.
171
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,655
Nope. Not until you get me some water.
172
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:42,906
Okay.
173
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:57,588
Come on, Albert, don't be a fink.
174
00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,131
(GROWLING)
175
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,301
(HUMMING)
176
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:42,424
I just love watching men in the morning.
177
00:14:42,508 --> 00:14:44,927
Do you generally use a straight razor,
or is this how Harry died?
178
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,011
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
179
00:14:46,094 --> 00:14:47,888
Well, that figures.
180
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:50,349
Betty, Suzie, Alice,
whatever the hell your name is.
181
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,893
I have different names for different moods.
182
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:54,561
What mood are you in today?
183
00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:56,688
I haven't decided yet.
184
00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:13,872
Is it all right if I sit down?
185
00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:17,251
- Ask Albert.
- Is it okay, Albert?
186
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,710
(WHINING)
187
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:20,879
He says it's all right.
188
00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:23,799
Do you mind if I give you a little kiss?
189
00:15:23,882 --> 00:15:26,093
Well, what if one of your little friends
came in here and saw us?
190
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:27,761
I locked the front door.
191
00:15:27,845 --> 00:15:29,847
All I want is a little huggybear.
192
00:15:29,972 --> 00:15:33,350
- Huggybear?
- Yeah, you relax and I'll hug.
193
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,893
(DOORBELL RINGING)
194
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:39,398
- I think I hear bells.
- Groovy. That's a good sign.
195
00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:42,818
- Good morning, Bernice.
- Good morning.
196
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:45,195
Bernice? What the hell is your name?
197
00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:48,782
My name is Bernice. Harry, this is Greg.
198
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:50,826
- Hi, Greg.
- Harry Baby?
199
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:53,745
- That's me.
- I thought you told me he was dead?
200
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,873
Did she also tell you
that I was her husband?
201
00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:56,915
Yeah.
202
00:15:57,457 --> 00:16:00,419
- I'm not really.
- Well, I'm glad to hear that.
203
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,962
Well, I guess I'm disturbing you.
204
00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:04,631
- Oh, Harry, please don't feel that way.
- Why not?
205
00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:06,884
Oh, I just came back to get my shoe trees.
206
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,093
This must be your pipe.
207
00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:10,095
Hey, I was wondering
what happened to that.
208
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:12,973
That's my robe, too. Thanks a million.
209
00:16:13,557 --> 00:16:16,727
Well, I guess I'll be cutting out.
210
00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:18,478
- I'll see you to the door...
- What about your shoe trees?
211
00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:21,940
What about my shoe trees?
212
00:16:28,864 --> 00:16:32,075
- Bye-bye, Greg.
- Bye-bye, Harry.
213
00:16:38,457 --> 00:16:41,668
Well, thank you, Bernice, for letting me
come back and get my things.
214
00:16:41,752 --> 00:16:43,921
Oh, that's perfectly all right, Harry.
215
00:16:44,004 --> 00:16:48,342
- I'll try not to bother you again.
- It's always a pleasure to see you.
216
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:56,350
- Later.
- Bye.
217
00:17:00,521 --> 00:17:01,730
Greg, what are you doing?
218
00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:04,316
- 10:00 a.m. Checking out time.
- Don't be ridiculous.
219
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,443
- How did Harry get in here?
- With his key, of course.
220
00:17:06,527 --> 00:17:08,237
Oh, how else.
221
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,989
Greg, you really ought to lie down.
You're a very sick person.
222
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:12,658
I'm a very sick person?
223
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,451
Look, maybe we'll see each other again
sometime, huh?
224
00:17:14,535 --> 00:17:15,494
Maybe.
225
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:18,872
Albert, did anybody ever tell you,
you snored?
226
00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:23,168
Don't let him get away.
227
00:17:23,544 --> 00:17:25,879
Oh, no, you don't.
228
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:28,215
(ALBERT WHINING)
229
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:39,893
- Hi, Greg.
- Hi.
230
00:17:39,977 --> 00:17:41,728
- Where've you been?
- Oh, you wouldn't believe it.
231
00:17:41,812 --> 00:17:44,815
Mr. Hamilton left word he wanted
to see you the minute you came in.
232
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:47,359
- Well, where is the old son of a...
- City editor.
233
00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:49,236
Down checking on something
with the presses.
234
00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:52,573
- Okay, thanks, honey. See you later.
- BOTH: Good luck.
235
00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:20,851
You're fired.
236
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:23,645
(INAUDIBLE)
237
00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:39,745
Throw him out of here.
238
00:20:32,357 --> 00:20:34,359
(TOY GUN FIRING)
239
00:20:37,863 --> 00:20:40,407
Wait a minute, who are you, kid?
240
00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:43,494
You don't mind if I come in, do you?
I live here.
241
00:20:43,577 --> 00:20:44,828
- Ma! Ma!
- Oh, knock it off.
242
00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:45,913
Knock it off.
243
00:20:45,996 --> 00:20:50,042
WOMAN: Robbie, who are you shooting at,
pussycat? What's the matter?
244
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:55,005
- Excuse me, madam. I just happen to...
- Oh, I... It's perfectly all right.
245
00:20:55,088 --> 00:20:59,426
If you'll just follow me
and keep your eyes where they belong.
246
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:01,762
Come here, sweetheart.
247
00:21:03,305 --> 00:21:04,890
Well, this is it.
248
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:07,893
It keeps jumping back into the wall
when you're ironing on it.
249
00:21:07,935 --> 00:21:10,771
And it flops back down
when you want to put it away.
250
00:21:10,854 --> 00:21:13,815
I know, I know. I have that trouble with it.
251
00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:16,610
Don't be a funny man, fix it.
252
00:21:16,777 --> 00:21:20,614
Look, lady, I didn't come here to fix
an ironing board.
253
00:21:20,948 --> 00:21:23,575
So you came here for some other purpose?
254
00:21:23,617 --> 00:21:25,828
One of us isn't communicating.
255
00:21:26,036 --> 00:21:27,496
Saw me through the window, is that it?
256
00:21:27,579 --> 00:21:30,499
One look at a bare shoulder,
I know your type.
257
00:21:30,582 --> 00:21:31,708
This just isn't my day.
258
00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:35,838
You take one step closer
and I'll squish your skull like a grape.
259
00:21:35,963 --> 00:21:40,092
Robbie, pussycat, run next door
and tell the landlady to call the police.
260
00:21:40,175 --> 00:21:43,470
Now, wait a minute. Hold the phone.
This is my house, I live here.
261
00:21:43,554 --> 00:21:45,097
Save your breath, Bluebeard.
262
00:21:45,180 --> 00:21:48,183
We know how to take care
of sex maniacs like you in this town.
263
00:21:48,267 --> 00:21:50,477
- Look, lady.
- What, "Look, lady"?
264
00:21:50,561 --> 00:21:53,480
Don't you run out on me.
265
00:21:54,565 --> 00:21:58,652
- Oh, Mr. Nolan. What are you doing here?
- Do you know this vile person?
266
00:21:58,735 --> 00:22:00,654
Well, of course, it's Mr. Nolan.
The former tenant.
267
00:22:00,696 --> 00:22:01,780
The present tenant.
268
00:22:01,864 --> 00:22:04,449
The former.
Oh, don't worry about it, Mr. Nolan.
269
00:22:04,491 --> 00:22:08,287
Your sister took care of everything.
The moving, the back rent, everything.
270
00:22:08,328 --> 00:22:11,290
- My sister?
- Mrs. Baby.
271
00:22:11,331 --> 00:22:13,750
Oh, my sister, Mrs. Baby.
272
00:22:25,637 --> 00:22:28,307
- You, out.
- But I haven't finished my French toast.
273
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:30,517
Get a doggy bag from Albert.
274
00:22:30,601 --> 00:22:33,020
- Did you want me to go, Betty?
- Her name is Bernice.
275
00:22:33,103 --> 00:22:36,565
It's all right, Truman. Mr. Nolan has
something he wants to tell me.
276
00:22:36,648 --> 00:22:39,443
- Very well. If you say so.
- Out, out.
277
00:22:39,776 --> 00:22:42,571
- See you in a couple of days, Betty.
- Her name is Bernice.
278
00:22:42,654 --> 00:22:44,323
If you'd listen to somebody
when they tell you something,
279
00:22:44,406 --> 00:22:45,741
you would know what her name is.
280
00:22:45,824 --> 00:22:46,867
I've told you four times.
281
00:22:46,950 --> 00:22:49,620
Why don't you tell him
your name is Bernice?
282
00:22:49,703 --> 00:22:51,497
Oh, Greg, your poor face. What happened?
283
00:22:51,538 --> 00:22:53,665
I got fired from my job, I got into a fight,
284
00:22:53,707 --> 00:22:55,626
and now I find out I don't live
in my own home anymore.
285
00:22:55,709 --> 00:22:56,668
Oh, let me...
286
00:22:56,752 --> 00:22:58,045
Damn it, Bernice,
what do you want from me?
287
00:22:58,128 --> 00:23:00,714
- Now, where are my things?
- They're in Albert's room.
288
00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,799
Except some of your shirts.
I sent them to the laundry.
289
00:23:02,883 --> 00:23:03,884
You sent them to the laundry?
290
00:23:03,967 --> 00:23:06,053
Who gave you the right to move me out
and pay my back rent?
291
00:23:06,178 --> 00:23:08,222
Look, I don't know what sort of a kick
you're getting out of this,
292
00:23:08,305 --> 00:23:09,723
but you're not gonna run my life.
293
00:23:10,098 --> 00:23:11,308
Don't walk away from me!
294
00:23:11,391 --> 00:23:13,477
I hate women who walk away
from an argument.
295
00:23:17,606 --> 00:23:18,982
(DOOR LOCKING)
296
00:23:24,738 --> 00:23:26,448
That's not gonna do you any good.
297
00:23:26,532 --> 00:23:29,910
I'll just wait right here until you come out
and give me an answer.
298
00:23:31,745 --> 00:23:33,789
You might as well come out.
299
00:23:40,003 --> 00:23:41,672
- What are you doing?
- I'm leaving.
300
00:23:41,755 --> 00:23:44,174
I don't want to inflict myself upon you.
301
00:23:44,258 --> 00:23:45,467
You may have the house for tonight,
302
00:23:45,551 --> 00:23:47,594
but please don't forget
to give Albert his dinner.
303
00:23:47,719 --> 00:23:49,471
Well, where are you gonna go?
304
00:23:49,555 --> 00:23:52,558
I don't know. Where were you gonna go?
305
00:23:53,267 --> 00:23:54,768
I hadn't really thought about it.
306
00:23:54,852 --> 00:23:57,437
Look. You don't have to leave.
I can spend the night in Albert's room,
307
00:23:57,521 --> 00:24:00,566
and tomorrow I'll go look for a job
and a place to stay.
308
00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:02,901
You can stay as long as you want to, Greg.
309
00:24:02,943 --> 00:24:04,736
Just for tonight.
310
00:24:04,820 --> 00:24:08,031
Now, why don't you take off this coat
and relax?
311
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:11,952
That's a dirty trick.
312
00:24:11,994 --> 00:24:13,704
I'm still leaving in the morning.
313
00:24:17,457 --> 00:24:21,211
Clean sheets, another blanket,
314
00:24:22,546 --> 00:24:25,090
soap, a toothbrush.
315
00:24:25,132 --> 00:24:26,675
- I have a toothbrush.
- I threw it out.
316
00:24:26,758 --> 00:24:27,968
Toothpaste.
317
00:24:28,051 --> 00:24:30,179
- I have toothpaste.
- It was the wrong brand.
318
00:24:30,262 --> 00:24:34,016
Wash cloth, face cloth and a bath towel.
319
00:24:34,099 --> 00:24:35,893
Anything else?
320
00:24:41,857 --> 00:24:46,737
Breakfast is at 9:00, lunch is at 1:00,
and dinner is whenever I get around to it.
321
00:24:47,404 --> 00:24:50,657
Is all this really necessary?
I'm only staying one night.
322
00:24:50,741 --> 00:24:53,285
Look, Greg,
I'm running a household, right?
323
00:24:53,368 --> 00:24:56,455
What am I supposed to do?
Work my schedule around your whims?
324
00:24:56,497 --> 00:24:58,832
Oh, I wouldn't want you to do that.
325
00:24:58,874 --> 00:25:01,043
What do you want?
Washing the dishes or drying them?
326
00:25:01,126 --> 00:25:02,628
I want Albert's job.
327
00:25:02,711 --> 00:25:05,881
- Oh, don't be a smart aleck.
- Sorry about that.
328
00:25:09,259 --> 00:25:10,469
(DOORBELL RINGING)
329
00:25:10,552 --> 00:25:13,847
- Would you get the door, please?
- Yeah, sure, yeah.
330
00:25:21,021 --> 00:25:24,483
Hey, my arms are full.
I think you'll have to open the door.
331
00:25:24,566 --> 00:25:26,068
It's unlocked.
332
00:25:26,235 --> 00:25:29,863
I can't make it, pal. My arms are full, too.
You'll have to do it.
333
00:25:29,947 --> 00:25:32,991
I said I can't. You open the door.
334
00:25:33,033 --> 00:25:34,952
Coming through.
335
00:25:42,084 --> 00:25:44,461
- Hi, there.
- Hi, there.
336
00:25:44,711 --> 00:25:46,463
Miserable kid.
337
00:25:49,675 --> 00:25:51,718
Who was that at the door?
338
00:25:51,802 --> 00:25:54,513
- Hiya, Suzie, there's your groceries.
- Hi, how are your feet today?
339
00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:57,724
- Oh, a little flatter, thanks.
- Woodrow has fallen arches.
340
00:25:57,808 --> 00:26:00,435
- Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
- Thanks.
341
00:26:00,519 --> 00:26:03,897
I just can't seem to find a job
in my regular line of work.
342
00:26:03,939 --> 00:26:06,358
- What's that?
- Sanitary engineering.
343
00:26:07,234 --> 00:26:09,319
- See you later, Suzie.
- Bye, Woodrow.
344
00:26:09,403 --> 00:26:11,488
If you ever happen to run across a job
in my line...
345
00:26:11,572 --> 00:26:13,740
Out, out. Just out.
346
00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:17,911
Do you think this has
too much garlic in it?
347
00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:19,955
It's terrific.
348
00:26:20,038 --> 00:26:22,416
Good. Albert, your lunch is ready.
349
00:26:22,541 --> 00:26:23,542
(GAGGING)
350
00:26:35,929 --> 00:26:39,141
Hey, that smells great. What is it?
351
00:26:39,224 --> 00:26:42,769
The handle of the coffee pot.
I just burned it.
352
00:26:43,854 --> 00:26:46,023
Well, that's marvelous.
353
00:26:48,108 --> 00:26:51,320
Oh, hi. I guess when I moved out,
I forgot my pants-stretchers.
354
00:26:51,403 --> 00:26:53,155
Guess what? It's Harry again.
355
00:26:53,238 --> 00:26:55,157
He forgot his pant-stretcher this time.
356
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,993
- Hi, Harry.
- Hi. Hello, Bernice.
357
00:26:58,202 --> 00:27:00,287
We were just sitting down to dinner.
Would you like to join us?
358
00:27:00,370 --> 00:27:03,248
Oh, well, I don't know.
Is it okay with you, Greg?
359
00:27:03,290 --> 00:27:06,210
Oh, any friend of Bernice's
is a friend of mine.
360
00:27:06,293 --> 00:27:07,961
That looks great. What is it?
361
00:27:08,045 --> 00:27:10,297
- Your favorite.
- Egg rolls and hot dog?
362
00:27:10,380 --> 00:27:14,426
- No. Beef and beer stew.
- That's good, too.
363
00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:20,641
Hey, look at his face.
You get caught in a revolving door, Greg?
364
00:27:20,724 --> 00:27:23,477
- No. It's a gift from my boss.
- Hey, man.
365
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:26,104
- What kind of work do you do?
- I was a news photographer.
366
00:27:26,188 --> 00:27:27,898
- What do you mean "was"?
- I got fired today.
367
00:27:27,981 --> 00:27:30,067
Yeah, but he's getting another job
tomorrow. Isn't that right?
368
00:27:30,150 --> 00:27:31,777
Oh, that's right. That's right.
369
00:27:34,988 --> 00:27:37,533
Get a job with one
of those advertising agencies.
370
00:27:37,616 --> 00:27:38,826
Now, that's the life.
371
00:27:38,909 --> 00:27:41,954
- What makes them so special?
- Are you kidding me?
372
00:27:42,162 --> 00:27:46,291
Why, it's out of sight.
Well, easy work, fantastic pay,
373
00:27:46,333 --> 00:27:49,920
and an office full of the most
stupendous chicks you have ever seen.
374
00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:54,424
- I mean, really stacked.
- What would everyone like to drink, Harry?
375
00:27:54,967 --> 00:27:57,135
- Milk.
- Milk coming up.
376
00:27:57,219 --> 00:27:59,596
Albert? Woof it shall be.
377
00:28:00,055 --> 00:28:01,515
- Greg?
- What do you have?
378
00:28:01,557 --> 00:28:03,392
Coffee, tea, milk and woof.
379
00:28:03,475 --> 00:28:04,977
- Coffee with.
- With what?
380
00:28:05,060 --> 00:28:06,186
With a side order of woof.
381
00:28:06,270 --> 00:28:08,689
Oh, you're so clever. Isn't he clever, Harry?
382
00:28:08,730 --> 00:28:11,608
- Yeah, you know, you're a very...
- Don't say it. Don't say it.
383
00:28:11,692 --> 00:28:15,153
Albert, have you got anything to say?
She's getting it.
384
00:28:19,533 --> 00:28:22,286
I think we can call this one a reject.
385
00:28:24,705 --> 00:28:28,125
You've got quite a handy little deal
going here, haven't you, Harry?
386
00:28:28,208 --> 00:28:29,835
You mean Bernice?
387
00:28:30,377 --> 00:28:33,380
Look, I'm trying my best to stay away.
It's just not that easy.
388
00:28:33,463 --> 00:28:34,882
Yeah, I noticed.
389
00:28:34,923 --> 00:28:36,758
She doesn't love me.
She's just being kind to me.
390
00:28:36,842 --> 00:28:40,470
- Oh, that's big of her.
- You don't know her, Greg. She's scared.
391
00:28:40,888 --> 00:28:43,348
- Scared to death.
- Scared of what?
392
00:28:43,432 --> 00:28:47,603
Of life, being alone, love...
393
00:28:48,312 --> 00:28:50,606
You've got to be kidding, man.
394
00:28:50,689 --> 00:28:52,900
No, it's true.
395
00:28:52,983 --> 00:28:55,402
Making love never quite works for her.
396
00:28:55,485 --> 00:28:57,821
She always stops short.
397
00:28:58,739 --> 00:29:01,867
I think she's hoping
to find the man who can
398
00:29:01,992 --> 00:29:04,411
bring her the right kind of love.
399
00:29:04,786 --> 00:29:08,290
But, in the meantime, she's going to
destroy every guy she meets.
400
00:29:08,373 --> 00:29:10,250
I'll tell you one thing.
401
00:29:10,292 --> 00:29:12,711
I'm going to stay away, for my own sake.
402
00:29:12,753 --> 00:29:15,005
And I don't suppose you'd take any advice
in a case like this.
403
00:29:15,088 --> 00:29:19,176
- Probably not. What is it?
- Run for the hills.
404
00:29:19,259 --> 00:29:20,385
First thing in the morning, pal.
405
00:29:22,221 --> 00:29:23,722
(SNORING)
406
00:29:26,433 --> 00:29:28,393
BERNICE: Time to go home, Greg:
407
00:29:30,687 --> 00:29:34,566
Hurry: Hurry: Hurry: Hurry:
408
00:29:34,983 --> 00:29:36,735
GREG: I'm leaving in the morning:
409
00:29:37,653 --> 00:29:42,407
BERNICE: Stay as long as you want:
Hurry: Hurry: Hurry: Hurry:
410
00:29:49,623 --> 00:29:52,251
Wake up, Greg.
It's time to head for the hills.
411
00:29:52,292 --> 00:29:53,794
You can't talk. You're a dog.
412
00:29:53,836 --> 00:29:56,129
Now, don't be difficult, Greg.
I'm just trying to help.
413
00:29:56,171 --> 00:29:57,881
Here, take my paw.
414
00:30:06,014 --> 00:30:07,015
I don't see...
415
00:30:10,435 --> 00:30:12,312
BERNICE: Come back, Greg: Come back:
416
00:30:12,354 --> 00:30:14,898
GREG: I'm leaving: I'm leaving:
417
00:30:14,982 --> 00:30:17,359
BERNICE:
Would you like to make love to me?
418
00:30:17,442 --> 00:30:19,778
HARRY: Run for the hills:
419
00:30:19,820 --> 00:30:22,197
Run for the hills:
420
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,120
Run for the hills:
421
00:30:39,506 --> 00:30:40,757
Bernice!
422
00:30:40,841 --> 00:30:43,010
- My name's Alice.
- Alice?
423
00:30:44,261 --> 00:30:46,972
- Her name's Suzie.
- Suzie?
424
00:30:49,183 --> 00:30:51,351
- This is Betty.
- Betty?
425
00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,812
What is your name?
426
00:30:53,854 --> 00:30:55,355
Her name's Bernice.
427
00:30:59,026 --> 00:31:00,527
I'd get out of here if I was you.
428
00:31:01,695 --> 00:31:04,198
(ALL CHATTERING)
429
00:31:15,042 --> 00:31:20,547
(SINGING
EDGE OF REALITY)
430
00:34:22,437 --> 00:34:23,897
(SNORING)
431
00:34:27,818 --> 00:34:32,531
"Art gallery. Beauty salon.
Chemical research.
432
00:34:32,573 --> 00:34:36,201
"Creative Advertising,
Radlin, Kernig, Canford and Penlow.
433
00:34:36,285 --> 00:34:37,744
"Twenty-first floor."
434
00:35:15,115 --> 00:35:17,910
- May I help you?
- Aren't you cold?
435
00:35:19,077 --> 00:35:22,039
Only from 9:00 to 5:00.
Whom did you wish to see?
436
00:35:22,122 --> 00:35:23,957
The editor. Is he in?
437
00:35:25,042 --> 00:35:26,585
Do you have an appointment?
438
00:35:26,668 --> 00:35:29,671
Appointment?
Why, no, but I believe I'm expected.
439
00:35:30,297 --> 00:35:34,426
- What is the name, please?
- Just say Nolan is here with the truth.
440
00:35:34,510 --> 00:35:36,970
"Nolan is here with the truth"?
441
00:35:37,429 --> 00:35:39,932
That's right. Just tell him that. He'll know.
442
00:35:44,937 --> 00:35:47,356
Mr. Landsdown,
443
00:35:47,856 --> 00:35:50,400
Nolan is here with the truth.
444
00:35:51,068 --> 00:35:54,446
- Speak up, baby.
- I said, Nolan is here with the truth.
445
00:35:58,075 --> 00:35:59,493
Yes, sir.
446
00:36:01,995 --> 00:36:03,455
Mr. Landsdown will see you.
447
00:36:03,497 --> 00:36:05,791
Running a magazine of this magnitude
448
00:36:05,833 --> 00:36:08,961
requires me to be mentally alert
at all times.
449
00:36:09,002 --> 00:36:12,798
Massage keeps the blood circulating,
blood goes to the brain.
450
00:36:13,215 --> 00:36:14,383
Alert.
451
00:36:14,925 --> 00:36:18,136
I also find
I have very little time to waste, Nolan.
452
00:36:18,178 --> 00:36:20,389
So, what is the truth?
453
00:36:20,973 --> 00:36:23,725
- Mr. Landsdown.
- Call me Mike, hate formalities.
454
00:36:24,059 --> 00:36:26,395
Mike, the truth is I need a job.
455
00:36:32,401 --> 00:36:34,027
(ALL LAUGHING)
456
00:36:37,281 --> 00:36:39,825
What makes you think there's a job here?
457
00:36:40,868 --> 00:36:42,703
I don't know. Is there?
458
00:36:42,828 --> 00:36:44,913
- No.
- Well, goodbye.
459
00:36:45,539 --> 00:36:47,416
Where are you going? Come in here!
460
00:36:53,422 --> 00:36:54,840
Shut the door.
461
00:36:56,466 --> 00:36:58,302
Over here, over here.
462
00:36:59,887 --> 00:37:01,138
Sit down.
463
00:37:05,726 --> 00:37:08,103
- Do you like girls?
- Love 'em. Do you?
464
00:37:08,187 --> 00:37:10,606
I asked that for a very good reason.
465
00:37:11,356 --> 00:37:13,358
- What do you do?
- What do you need?
466
00:37:13,525 --> 00:37:15,652
- Don't be rude.
- I'm a photographer.
467
00:37:15,736 --> 00:37:18,530
Well. Truth is beauty.
468
00:37:18,572 --> 00:37:20,240
And the highest expression of beauty
469
00:37:20,365 --> 00:37:22,826
is the relationship between
a man and a woman.
470
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,704
It is to the glorification of this relationship
471
00:37:25,787 --> 00:37:27,956
that Landsdown Enterprises is dedicated.
472
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:29,541
I'm with you.
473
00:37:29,625 --> 00:37:30,959
You any good?
474
00:37:31,168 --> 00:37:33,212
- As a lover?
- As a photographer!
475
00:37:33,253 --> 00:37:35,464
- That I am.
- Let me see.
476
00:37:41,220 --> 00:37:42,387
Fuzzy.
477
00:37:44,431 --> 00:37:45,766
Soft focus.
478
00:37:45,849 --> 00:37:48,310
I think it's the steam.
The pictures are melting.
479
00:37:48,727 --> 00:37:49,895
Yeah, but they're all dressed.
480
00:37:49,978 --> 00:37:52,272
People don't wanna see women
with clothes on.
481
00:37:52,314 --> 00:37:54,399
I wish I moved in your circles.
482
00:37:55,609 --> 00:37:58,070
I don't think we see eye to eye, Nolan.
483
00:37:58,195 --> 00:38:00,072
No, I don't think so, either.
484
00:38:06,119 --> 00:38:07,704
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Where are you going?
485
00:38:07,788 --> 00:38:10,582
We haven't finished yet.
Come on over here.
486
00:38:12,417 --> 00:38:16,004
Here, try a wheat germ and clam juice
cocktail. It's good for the liver.
487
00:38:16,964 --> 00:38:19,049
I think I know what you're looking for.
488
00:38:20,801 --> 00:38:22,261
How about these shots?
489
00:38:24,221 --> 00:38:26,557
Yeah. That's better.
490
00:38:28,183 --> 00:38:29,726
Much better.
491
00:38:31,979 --> 00:38:34,189
Yeah, that's much, much better.
492
00:38:36,567 --> 00:38:38,777
- Still want to work here?
- I thought you said there was no job.
493
00:38:38,861 --> 00:38:40,571
Changed my mind.
How much are you asking?
494
00:38:40,654 --> 00:38:43,532
- A thousand a month.
- All right, we'll try it for a couple of weeks,
495
00:38:43,615 --> 00:38:45,159
and see what we'll see.
496
00:38:45,242 --> 00:38:48,453
You start tomorrow. 9:00 sharp.
If you're late, you're fired.
497
00:38:48,662 --> 00:38:50,122
And get rid of that suit.
498
00:38:50,289 --> 00:38:54,418
I can't stand to see men wearing ties.
It's bad for the circulation.
499
00:38:54,751 --> 00:38:57,838
And always remember, bottoms up.
500
00:39:13,103 --> 00:39:15,230
Sorry I'm late. I got off on the wrong floor.
501
00:39:15,898 --> 00:39:19,485
Welcome to Radlin, Kernig,
Canford and Penlow.
502
00:39:19,651 --> 00:39:21,153
Whom do you wish to see?
503
00:39:21,695 --> 00:39:24,698
- Radlin.
- I'm sorry, Mr. Radlin is not in at present.
504
00:39:24,907 --> 00:39:26,867
Is there someone else who can help you?
505
00:39:27,117 --> 00:39:30,370
- Kernig.
- I'm sorry, Mr. Kernig is not in at present.
506
00:39:30,454 --> 00:39:32,623
Is there someone else who can help you?
507
00:39:32,873 --> 00:39:34,208
Canford.
508
00:39:34,917 --> 00:39:39,421
I'm sorry, Mr. Canford died two years ago.
Is there someone else who can help you?
509
00:39:39,505 --> 00:39:41,173
Who else is there?
510
00:39:41,715 --> 00:39:44,051
- Would you like to speak with Mr. Penlow?
- Is he in?
511
00:39:44,134 --> 00:39:46,428
- Yes.
- Good, I'll speak with Mr. Penlow.
512
00:39:47,221 --> 00:39:49,598
I'm sorry, Mr. Penlow is in conference.
513
00:39:49,681 --> 00:39:52,684
- Tell Penlow I wish to speak to him.
- I'm sorry, Mr. Penlow is in conference.
514
00:39:52,768 --> 00:39:54,228
Tell him!
515
00:39:56,063 --> 00:39:59,274
- Very well, do you have an appointment?
- Tell him!
516
00:40:01,235 --> 00:40:05,030
- Whom shall I say is calling?
- Tell him Nolan is here with the truth.
517
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:06,782
Very well.
518
00:40:09,451 --> 00:40:13,497
Mr. Penlow, a Mr. Nolan says
he is here with the truth.
519
00:40:15,249 --> 00:40:17,376
Nolan. Truth.
520
00:40:20,921 --> 00:40:22,381
Yes, Mr. Penlow.
521
00:40:24,383 --> 00:40:26,260
It's the second door on the right.
522
00:40:26,677 --> 00:40:29,763
Personal appearance is a virtue
not to be treated lightly.
523
00:40:29,930 --> 00:40:33,100
I take great stock in the cut
of a man's clothes.
524
00:40:33,433 --> 00:40:37,938
As Benjamin Franklin so aptly put it,
"Eat to please thyself, but dress
525
00:40:38,021 --> 00:40:39,189
"to please others."
526
00:40:39,273 --> 00:40:41,108
Oh, I'm sure if your secretary
came in right now,
527
00:40:41,191 --> 00:40:43,569
my appearance
wouldn't exactly please her.
528
00:40:43,610 --> 00:40:45,404
Hey, I wonder if I could have
my trousers, please?
529
00:40:45,487 --> 00:40:46,738
When they are ready.
530
00:40:46,780 --> 00:40:50,826
"Constant complaint is the poorest
sort of pay for all the comforts we enjoy."
531
00:40:50,909 --> 00:40:53,287
- Also Benjamin Franklin.
- Oh, good old Ben.
532
00:40:53,412 --> 00:40:56,248
Receptionist said that you're here
with the truth.
533
00:40:56,290 --> 00:40:57,416
That's right.
534
00:40:57,499 --> 00:41:00,377
Good, good. There's precious little left of it
in this business. God knows.
535
00:41:00,460 --> 00:41:02,087
How right you are.
536
00:41:02,462 --> 00:41:04,548
The truth is, I need a job.
537
00:41:05,007 --> 00:41:08,468
Thank you. I said, the truth is, I need a job.
538
00:41:08,552 --> 00:41:11,013
I heard you, I heard you.
I'm not deaf, you know.
539
00:41:11,096 --> 00:41:12,890
I'm sorry.
540
00:41:13,056 --> 00:41:15,142
The truth is, he needs a job.
541
00:41:15,684 --> 00:41:17,811
My boy, you're a natural-born
attention-getter.
542
00:41:17,895 --> 00:41:21,064
And what is advertising?
The art of attracting attention.
543
00:41:21,148 --> 00:41:22,566
Exactly my feelings.
544
00:41:23,108 --> 00:41:25,402
- What are you, a copywriter?
- No, I'm a photographer.
545
00:41:25,486 --> 00:41:27,779
A photographer. Well, well.
546
00:41:27,946 --> 00:41:30,240
- It's an honest profession.
- Lf you're good.
547
00:41:30,574 --> 00:41:32,576
Let's see if you're good.
548
00:41:34,203 --> 00:41:37,789
The secret of good photography
is not to be fooled by what you see.
549
00:41:38,165 --> 00:41:42,002
And get to know your subjects, find
the truth in them and photograph that.
550
00:41:42,252 --> 00:41:44,671
Very impressive. I like your style.
551
00:41:44,796 --> 00:41:47,716
- How much money do you need?
- A thousand a month to start.
552
00:41:47,799 --> 00:41:50,302
- With a substantial raise in six months.
- Fair enough, fair enough.
553
00:41:50,385 --> 00:41:53,597
Also all fringe benefits,
including use of the company parking lot.
554
00:41:53,764 --> 00:41:55,516
Assuming you're still here in six months.
555
00:41:55,599 --> 00:41:57,893
You can start tomorrow at 9:00 or 9:30.
556
00:41:57,976 --> 00:42:00,979
I expect my people
to be impeccably dressed at all times.
557
00:42:01,063 --> 00:42:02,356
Keep that in mind.
558
00:42:02,439 --> 00:42:04,024
While you're here,
take a look at the darkroom.
559
00:42:04,107 --> 00:42:08,028
See if there's anything you need.
My receptionist will show you where it is.
560
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:12,991
The door to the service stairway
is over there.
561
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,702
- What door?
- Behind the boxes.
562
00:42:16,578 --> 00:42:18,831
I'll have this darkroom cleared out for you.
563
00:42:18,914 --> 00:42:21,416
- Thank you.
- Excuse me.
564
00:42:21,500 --> 00:42:22,501
Yeah.
565
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,392
(PHONE RINGING)
566
00:42:48,443 --> 00:42:50,904
You have reached a disconnected number.
567
00:42:50,988 --> 00:42:54,783
Please hang up and dial again.
This is a recording.
568
00:42:54,867 --> 00:42:56,285
This is a recording, too.
569
00:42:56,368 --> 00:42:59,037
I was calling to invite you out
to dinner, but never mind.
570
00:42:59,121 --> 00:43:00,956
Greg, wait a minute. Is that you?
571
00:43:01,039 --> 00:43:03,333
Yes. I got a job.
As a matter of fact, I got two.
572
00:43:03,417 --> 00:43:04,751
One for you and one for me.
573
00:43:04,793 --> 00:43:06,295
- I don't understand.
- It's simple.
574
00:43:06,378 --> 00:43:09,256
The second job is to pay you back
the money you put up for my back rent.
575
00:43:09,464 --> 00:43:11,550
Oh, you're too much.
576
00:43:11,633 --> 00:43:14,636
Look, I'll be over about 5:00, pick up
my things, and we'll go out and celebrate.
577
00:43:14,720 --> 00:43:16,471
Okay, I'll be ready.
578
00:43:35,282 --> 00:43:36,867
(DOORBELL RINGING)
579
00:43:45,959 --> 00:43:49,213
I wish she'd stop putting garlic
in your food.
580
00:43:51,757 --> 00:43:53,425
"Dear Greg. Had to run an errand.
581
00:43:53,592 --> 00:43:56,595
"Meet me at 211 Lookout Mountain Drive."
582
00:44:00,807 --> 00:44:03,143
Okay, Albert, get out.
I didn't invite you to dinner.
583
00:44:03,310 --> 00:44:04,269
(GROWLING)
584
00:44:04,394 --> 00:44:05,854
What are you doing for dinner, Albert?
585
00:44:50,274 --> 00:44:53,777
Hi, Albert. Hello, darling. Welcome home.
586
00:44:56,029 --> 00:44:57,281
What have you got going, now?
587
00:44:57,364 --> 00:45:01,535
Why, nothing. I merely found you
a place to stay. You said you wanted one.
588
00:45:01,785 --> 00:45:04,371
And it's a lovely one-bedroom house.
589
00:45:04,496 --> 00:45:06,165
You're kidding.
590
00:45:09,376 --> 00:45:10,502
How did you find it?
591
00:45:10,544 --> 00:45:13,005
The landlady is a friend of Harry's.
She lives down the street.
592
00:45:13,046 --> 00:45:14,548
She conducts séances or something.
593
00:45:14,631 --> 00:45:17,009
I suppose she sends one of her ghosts
around to collect the rent.
594
00:45:17,050 --> 00:45:19,261
I told her you'd pay
the first and last month, next week.
595
00:45:19,344 --> 00:45:22,014
- Oh, gee, thanks, kid.
- Happy housewarming, Greg.
596
00:45:22,097 --> 00:45:23,140
(EX CLAIMS)
597
00:45:23,223 --> 00:45:25,934
- I should have known you'd be here.
- Oh, now, don't be nasty.
598
00:45:26,059 --> 00:45:27,853
Harry brought the champagne
and the dinner.
599
00:45:27,936 --> 00:45:30,397
Yeah, egg rolls and hot dogs.
You'll love 'em.
600
00:45:30,856 --> 00:45:32,649
Here it goes. Stand back.
601
00:45:34,359 --> 00:45:35,569
They told me it was a good year.
602
00:45:35,652 --> 00:45:36,862
I thought I was taking you
to dinner tonight.
603
00:45:36,945 --> 00:45:38,071
Oh, but isn't this nicer?
604
00:45:38,155 --> 00:45:41,575
Your first night in your new home
with good company and good food.
605
00:45:41,658 --> 00:45:44,077
Yeah, sit down, Greg. Champagne?
606
00:45:45,370 --> 00:45:46,497
I'm not thirsty.
607
00:45:46,914 --> 00:45:48,749
More for us, huh, Bernice?
608
00:45:51,877 --> 00:45:56,173
Not bad. To us.
A long and lasting friendship.
609
00:46:10,437 --> 00:46:11,563
Well, I guess I'll be going.
610
00:46:11,647 --> 00:46:13,899
- Are you sure you won't stay?
- He's sure.
611
00:46:14,107 --> 00:46:16,944
Thank Harry for the champagne
and the dinner.
612
00:46:17,486 --> 00:46:20,572
May I say, I never liked egg rolls
and hot dogs before,
613
00:46:20,739 --> 00:46:22,741
but now I hate them.
614
00:46:22,866 --> 00:46:24,535
I'm glad, Greg.
615
00:46:25,994 --> 00:46:27,663
- Good night, Bernice.
- Good night.
616
00:46:27,830 --> 00:46:29,498
Rots of ruck in your new pad, Greg.
617
00:46:29,581 --> 00:46:32,584
- I'd like to rots of ruck you...
- Good night, Harry. Good night, Harry.
618
00:46:36,004 --> 00:46:38,715
I don't believe it. We're finally alone.
619
00:46:39,591 --> 00:46:42,094
I guess I should thank you
for finding this place for me.
620
00:46:42,302 --> 00:46:43,679
I was afraid you didn't like it.
621
00:46:43,762 --> 00:46:46,640
Oh, I like it. I'm just not used
to having a house picked out for me.
622
00:46:46,765 --> 00:46:48,183
Oh, I'm sorry.
623
00:46:48,267 --> 00:46:51,436
I was only trying to help,
but I guess I did something wrong again.
624
00:46:52,145 --> 00:46:55,023
- I forgot Bernice.
- That's all right. I'll drive her home.
625
00:46:55,107 --> 00:46:56,984
Oh, no, no. Always leave the party
with the girl I brung.
626
00:46:57,067 --> 00:46:58,694
- Old rule of mine.
- I said I'd take her home.
627
00:46:58,777 --> 00:47:02,614
It's all right, darling. I'd hate to have
you drive clear to the beach and back.
628
00:47:03,198 --> 00:47:04,741
Nighty-night.
629
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:09,997
Come on, Albert. Come on.
630
00:47:19,006 --> 00:47:20,215
Bernice!
631
00:47:20,299 --> 00:47:22,759
How long do you think
this ridiculous situation can continue?
632
00:47:23,010 --> 00:47:25,554
Well, I don't think it's ridiculous.
I think it's civilized.
633
00:47:25,637 --> 00:47:28,432
Civilized? It'd be civilized
if we called the whole thing off.
634
00:47:28,599 --> 00:47:30,559
You so much as try
and call the whole thing off,
635
00:47:30,642 --> 00:47:33,270
and I shall feed you, personally,
to my large dog for breakfast.
636
00:47:33,353 --> 00:47:35,647
And that's a solemn promise.
637
00:47:35,731 --> 00:47:37,691
Bernice, it's late.
638
00:47:37,774 --> 00:47:39,318
Good night. Sleep tight.
639
00:47:51,371 --> 00:47:53,040
(HONKING)
640
00:48:02,007 --> 00:48:04,384
Okay, turn the fans on. This one, too.
641
00:48:06,386 --> 00:48:08,180
That's it. Not too much.
642
00:48:08,472 --> 00:48:10,432
Okay, start the snow.
643
00:48:12,976 --> 00:48:15,896
That's it. No more than that.
Let's go to work, honey.
644
00:48:16,230 --> 00:48:17,189
Okay.
645
00:48:17,981 --> 00:48:19,733
All right. Right here. There you go.
646
00:48:20,192 --> 00:48:22,194
There you go, come on back over here.
647
00:48:23,737 --> 00:48:26,657
Don't be so serious. Good.
648
00:48:26,907 --> 00:48:28,450
Okay, raise the skirt.
649
00:48:29,701 --> 00:48:31,203
Little more.
650
00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:35,457
Hey, wait a minute! Somebody help Heidi!
651
00:48:35,707 --> 00:48:39,086
You're ruining the set!
Turn that fan off! Help her out!
652
00:48:42,756 --> 00:48:45,217
Let's get this place cleaned up. Take 10.
653
00:49:16,248 --> 00:49:17,791
What's the matter?
You got a thing about elevators?
654
00:49:17,875 --> 00:49:19,668
Yeah, they're too slow. Too slow.
655
00:49:21,795 --> 00:49:24,506
- Sorry I'm late.
- Oh, good morning, Greg. Good morning.
656
00:49:24,590 --> 00:49:26,550
- Good morning, Greg.
- It looks good. Looks good.
657
00:49:26,633 --> 00:49:31,054
It represents a subjective concept
dealing with the metaphysical approach...
658
00:49:31,138 --> 00:49:33,891
Right. Right.
Work it through for me, baby, will you?
659
00:49:45,194 --> 00:49:46,904
Just relax about 10 minutes.
660
00:50:16,016 --> 00:50:18,477
The artwork is on that Samoan story.
661
00:50:18,644 --> 00:50:23,065
Oh, and get a hold of Mary, in legal,
and see if they've received the...
662
00:50:33,075 --> 00:50:34,535
Follow the eye.
663
00:50:36,161 --> 00:50:39,331
Okay. Let's try the skirt again.
Around this way.
664
00:50:41,416 --> 00:50:43,460
That's good. Over here.
665
00:51:18,078 --> 00:51:19,496
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
666
00:51:20,414 --> 00:51:21,915
Just a minute.
667
00:51:28,755 --> 00:51:30,257
Come on in.
668
00:51:33,927 --> 00:51:36,263
You're really a dynamo, aren't you?
669
00:51:36,346 --> 00:51:39,349
Oh, I just wanted to get these shots
developed and run some tests.
670
00:51:39,433 --> 00:51:43,562
It's 6:00.
I wouldn't work past 8:00, if I were you.
671
00:51:44,229 --> 00:51:45,981
A man needs his rest, you know.
672
00:51:46,106 --> 00:51:47,900
You got a point there.
673
00:51:54,114 --> 00:51:56,408
When you finish those contracts,
you may leave.
674
00:51:56,783 --> 00:51:58,118
I admire incentive in a man,
675
00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:01,121
but I don't require my people
to stay till all hours of the night.
676
00:52:01,205 --> 00:52:03,415
I was hoping to finish
that perfume layout for you.
677
00:52:03,499 --> 00:52:05,125
Plenty of time tomorrow.
678
00:52:05,626 --> 00:52:08,462
- You look tired, my boy.
- You don't know the half of it.
679
00:52:08,629 --> 00:52:10,130
Just a moment.
680
00:52:30,067 --> 00:52:32,069
Oh, hiya, Greg.
Bernice and I were just talking about you.
681
00:52:32,152 --> 00:52:33,612
I thought we had a date tonight.
682
00:52:33,695 --> 00:52:35,113
Well, that's what
we were just talking about.
683
00:52:35,155 --> 00:52:37,491
Hey, listen, I'll put these flowers
in some water and fix you a drink.
684
00:52:37,574 --> 00:52:39,993
- What do you say?
- I'll tell you what I say.
685
00:52:41,912 --> 00:52:44,832
Greg, please don't go. I can explain.
686
00:52:48,627 --> 00:52:50,963
Excellent. Just excellent.
687
00:52:51,088 --> 00:52:53,006
There's a couple of pretty good
shots there.
688
00:52:53,048 --> 00:52:54,508
"Pretty good"?
689
00:52:54,550 --> 00:52:58,178
You're out of your cotton-pickin' mind.
They're excellent. Just what we needed.
690
00:52:59,137 --> 00:53:02,307
- Something bothering you?
- No, just a little personal problem.
691
00:53:02,474 --> 00:53:05,185
Well, let's have none of that.
You want to make it in advertising, right?
692
00:53:05,269 --> 00:53:06,353
Right.
693
00:53:06,436 --> 00:53:08,647
Then you have to rise above
personal problems.
694
00:53:08,730 --> 00:53:10,983
Personal appearance, that's the secret.
695
00:53:11,024 --> 00:53:15,070
Where you live, what you drive,
where you drink, what you drink.
696
00:53:15,362 --> 00:53:19,449
Who makes your clothes, who styles
your hair, who shrinks your head.
697
00:53:19,783 --> 00:53:21,994
Who shrinks my head? Nobody.
698
00:53:22,035 --> 00:53:23,996
You mean you're not in analysis?
699
00:53:25,038 --> 00:53:27,207
No, but I'm beginning
to get your message.
700
00:53:27,541 --> 00:53:28,625
Good.
701
00:53:28,709 --> 00:53:31,378
How about giving me
a six months' advance on my salary?
702
00:53:31,461 --> 00:53:34,631
A six months' advance on your salary?
703
00:53:34,798 --> 00:53:37,467
This turnip and tiger's milk cocktail
is delicious.
704
00:53:37,718 --> 00:53:42,139
Now, Greg, I am not an unreasonable man.
Do you think I'm an unreasonable man?
705
00:53:42,222 --> 00:53:43,974
No, Mike, you're not unreasonable.
706
00:53:44,057 --> 00:53:47,144
Well, as a matter of fact,
I'm quite a reasonable man.
707
00:53:47,644 --> 00:53:51,315
But when a man comes to me
and tells me he needs six months' salary
708
00:53:51,398 --> 00:53:53,650
in advance, I say, "All right."
709
00:53:53,734 --> 00:53:56,778
I say, "Give that man
his six months' salary in advance."
710
00:53:56,862 --> 00:54:00,240
There's no question about it, Mike.
You are a reasonable man.
711
00:54:26,642 --> 00:54:28,769
(BERNICE CRYING)
712
00:54:36,109 --> 00:54:37,486
Give me the key, Bernice.
713
00:54:37,569 --> 00:54:39,780
Mention Albert too, or he gets Ionely.
714
00:54:39,863 --> 00:54:41,990
I know you had a key made.
Now give it to me.
715
00:54:42,074 --> 00:54:43,325
Mention him, too.
716
00:54:43,408 --> 00:54:46,662
Oh, for Pete's sakes. Hello, Albert.
Gimme the key.
717
00:54:49,665 --> 00:54:52,125
I'm sure you have a dandy reason
for being here.
718
00:54:52,668 --> 00:54:55,128
Harry put his house up for sale.
719
00:54:55,295 --> 00:54:56,505
"His house"?
720
00:54:56,839 --> 00:55:00,300
He said if he sold it, he wouldn't
have an excuse to see me anymore.
721
00:55:00,342 --> 00:55:01,885
Maybe I knocked some sense
into his head.
722
00:55:01,969 --> 00:55:04,471
No, but you knocked
the cap off his front tooth.
723
00:55:04,555 --> 00:55:05,764
Well, I'm sorry about that.
724
00:55:05,806 --> 00:55:08,475
But you can't stay here.
I'm not getting involved with you again.
725
00:55:09,643 --> 00:55:12,146
Oh, we have no one else to turn to.
726
00:55:12,437 --> 00:55:15,816
We're alone,
abandoned in an unfriendly city.
727
00:55:16,275 --> 00:55:20,154
Albert and I have come to you
for protection, nothing more.
728
00:55:20,654 --> 00:55:22,739
Don't you believe that?
729
00:55:22,823 --> 00:55:26,535
No, I don't.
You're not gonna trick me again.
730
00:55:27,119 --> 00:55:31,039
Get yourself an apartment.
Put Albert in a kennel.
731
00:55:31,165 --> 00:55:32,624
(WHIMPERING)
732
00:55:32,916 --> 00:55:34,168
Oh, shut up, Albert.
733
00:55:34,251 --> 00:55:36,795
Volunteer to be the first woman
on the moon, I don't care.
734
00:55:36,837 --> 00:55:39,464
But you're not gonna mess up my life.
735
00:55:39,506 --> 00:55:41,758
How can you throw us out like this?
736
00:55:41,842 --> 00:55:46,972
It's easy, I'll show you.
Just give you your bags. Albert, out.
737
00:55:52,728 --> 00:55:54,313
How'd you get here?
738
00:55:54,354 --> 00:55:56,815
I borrowed Harry's car.
It's down around the corner.
739
00:55:56,940 --> 00:55:58,484
Well, what was he gonna do?
Come pick it up
740
00:55:58,567 --> 00:56:01,028
so we could all have a nice reunion?
741
00:56:09,870 --> 00:56:12,706
Ladies first, Albert, you should know that.
742
00:56:17,252 --> 00:56:20,923
Here's the money for the back rent.
Drive carefully.
743
00:56:23,383 --> 00:56:24,718
It's been a gas, kid.
744
00:56:27,387 --> 00:56:30,432
- Say goodbye to Albert.
- So long, Al babe.
745
00:56:30,516 --> 00:56:32,226
(ALBERT WHINING)
746
00:56:38,524 --> 00:56:40,108
(POP MUSIC PLAYING)
747
00:56:57,876 --> 00:57:00,838
- Are you ready for that?
- Are you kidding me?
748
00:57:06,844 --> 00:57:09,179
- Hey, Greg, glad you could make it.
- Thanks for inviting me.
749
00:57:09,263 --> 00:57:11,682
Find yourself a girl.
Find two or three. Find five.
750
00:57:11,765 --> 00:57:13,100
Well, there sure are a lot of 'em around.
751
00:57:13,141 --> 00:57:16,103
I always invite five girls to one man.
Matter of principle.
752
00:57:16,353 --> 00:57:17,688
Kind of hard on the girls, isn't it?
753
00:57:17,771 --> 00:57:21,191
Listen, Greg, this is a man's world,
and I'm gonna keep it that way,
754
00:57:21,275 --> 00:57:23,694
because that's the way
the birds like to nest.
755
00:57:23,777 --> 00:57:25,237
What's the gadget, Mike?
756
00:57:25,362 --> 00:57:27,823
Looks impressive, doesn't it?
That's my Nothing Box.
757
00:57:27,906 --> 00:57:28,991
"Nothing Box"?
758
00:57:29,074 --> 00:57:32,202
Yeah, does absolutely nothing,
but it's a great conversation piece.
759
00:57:32,369 --> 00:57:33,996
(BEEPING)
760
00:57:34,496 --> 00:57:36,748
- I'm gonna look around.
- Have fun.
761
00:57:44,923 --> 00:57:46,717
Albert said to say, "Hi."
762
00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:47,926
Who invited you here?
763
00:57:48,010 --> 00:57:51,763
Well, a good-Iooking girl is always
welcome at one of these midnight brawls.
764
00:57:51,805 --> 00:57:53,599
How did you know about the party?
765
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:55,934
Being a good-Iooking girl, I followed you.
766
00:57:55,976 --> 00:57:57,311
Look, what does it take
to get through to you?
767
00:57:57,394 --> 00:58:00,355
We have nothing in common.
We never did, we never will.
768
00:58:00,439 --> 00:58:04,318
Greg, how can you be so controvertible?
769
00:58:04,610 --> 00:58:05,861
Controvertible?
770
00:58:34,014 --> 00:58:35,974
That wouldn't be a screwdriver
you have there, would it?
771
00:58:36,099 --> 00:58:38,435
Why, yes. It is.
772
00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:42,356
I've heard so much about 'em,
but I've never tasted one. May I?
773
00:58:42,439 --> 00:58:44,233
Be my guest.
774
00:58:46,652 --> 00:58:49,696
- They put too much vodka in for my taste.
- They did?
775
00:58:49,905 --> 00:58:52,574
Oh, I mean, yes. They did.
776
00:58:52,699 --> 00:58:54,660
We have a lot in common.
777
00:58:54,701 --> 00:58:55,994
Yes.
778
00:58:57,329 --> 00:58:59,081
What month were you born?
779
00:58:59,206 --> 00:59:02,334
- December.
- Sagittarius.
780
00:59:02,709 --> 00:59:05,796
We're not suited. It would never work out.
781
00:59:06,004 --> 00:59:08,632
Let's see if we can't
double-cross the stars.
782
00:59:08,715 --> 00:59:10,425
What's your name?
783
00:59:10,509 --> 00:59:11,677
Ellen.
784
00:59:14,513 --> 00:59:17,140
- What was that for?
- Oh, just testing.
785
00:59:17,391 --> 00:59:19,184
One test doesn't prove anything.
786
00:59:24,064 --> 00:59:26,191
You don't taste bad for a Sagittarius.
787
00:59:26,233 --> 00:59:28,110
Let's cut out of here, Ellen.
788
00:59:28,193 --> 00:59:30,612
You can't fool around with the planets.
789
00:59:30,696 --> 00:59:33,782
I know something much more reliable
than the planets.
790
00:59:33,866 --> 00:59:35,784
There just isn't anything.
791
00:59:35,868 --> 00:59:37,703
You wait right here, I'll be back.
792
00:59:41,707 --> 00:59:44,418
- Can I get a picture? Just one.
- Not right now, thank you.
793
00:59:48,380 --> 00:59:50,382
Great shot with that thing, hold it!
794
00:59:50,465 --> 00:59:52,050
- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.
795
01:00:11,487 --> 01:00:14,740
This computer will prove to you
that the planets are wrong.
796
01:00:15,616 --> 01:00:16,950
Well, it's just making a lot of sound.
797
01:00:17,034 --> 01:00:18,952
Yeah, but you have to understand
what it's saying.
798
01:00:18,994 --> 01:00:22,581
- Do you know what it's saying?
- Of course I know what it's saying.
799
01:00:24,583 --> 01:00:28,253
(SINGING
A LITTLE LESS CONVERSA TION)
800
01:02:05,559 --> 01:02:07,686
- Is this where you live?
- Yep.
801
01:02:08,479 --> 01:02:10,189
It's lovely.
802
01:02:10,898 --> 01:02:12,733
Such a romantic view.
803
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:22,701
You don't waste much time, do you?
804
01:02:24,828 --> 01:02:28,040
- Good evening, Mr. Nolan.
- Good evening.
805
01:02:28,248 --> 01:02:30,542
My goodness, you're home late tonight.
806
01:02:32,753 --> 01:02:36,298
- Who is that woman?
- That woman? She's my...
807
01:02:36,381 --> 01:02:38,342
- Housekeeper.
- Housekeeper.
808
01:02:38,550 --> 01:02:40,260
She vacuums at this time of the morning?
809
01:02:40,344 --> 01:02:42,804
Oh, it's the only free time I have.
810
01:02:42,888 --> 01:02:45,682
- How many keys did you have made?
- Enough.
811
01:02:46,266 --> 01:02:50,729
Mr. Nolan, I must remind you,
I only work in respectable houses,
812
01:02:50,771 --> 01:02:53,607
and it looks to me like
there's a little hanky-panky going on here.
813
01:02:53,690 --> 01:02:56,610
Well, if you feel that way about it,
why don't you leave? Now.
814
01:02:56,693 --> 01:03:00,405
Oh, no, never put off until tomorrow
what you can do today. Right?
815
01:03:00,489 --> 01:03:01,949
Excuse me.
816
01:03:02,032 --> 01:03:05,077
Greg, I've gotta go home, really.
It's late, and I've got to work tomorrow.
817
01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:06,995
Oh, why don't we talk this over, in there?
818
01:03:07,079 --> 01:03:08,747
Albert's in there.
819
01:03:08,789 --> 01:03:10,749
- Who's Albert?
- My dog.
820
01:03:10,874 --> 01:03:11,959
(ALBERT GROWLING)
821
01:03:14,628 --> 01:03:16,630
Would you drive me home?
822
01:03:19,633 --> 01:03:21,593
Why not? Let's go to your place.
823
01:03:23,804 --> 01:03:26,765
And you, you'd better be gone
by the time I get back.
824
01:03:32,312 --> 01:03:33,856
(CRASHING)
825
01:03:36,108 --> 01:03:38,235
Well, you'll have to see what happened.
826
01:03:39,153 --> 01:03:41,780
I got a feeling I'm going to be sorry!
827
01:03:43,699 --> 01:03:45,325
Oh, my goodness!
828
01:03:51,039 --> 01:03:54,001
- I'll call a doctor.
- And get me a cab.
829
01:03:55,335 --> 01:03:56,336
(GROANING)
830
01:04:01,508 --> 01:04:02,718
Well, Doctor?
831
01:04:02,926 --> 01:04:06,763
I can't find anything but the bump
on her head where she hit the table.
832
01:04:07,014 --> 01:04:08,515
(MUMBLING)
833
01:04:08,807 --> 01:04:09,933
What'd she say?
834
01:04:10,017 --> 01:04:12,352
Try to keep her quiet for a few days.
835
01:04:12,436 --> 01:04:15,481
When she's able to get up, you might
bring her by the office for an x-ray.
836
01:04:15,814 --> 01:04:18,567
Thanks a lot, Doctor.
Sorry to call you so late.
837
01:04:18,859 --> 01:04:22,821
Don't you worry about it.
I'll bill you for it. Good night.
838
01:04:22,905 --> 01:04:24,323
Good night.
839
01:04:39,463 --> 01:04:41,089
(GROANING)
840
01:05:19,878 --> 01:05:21,171
(WHINING)
841
01:05:21,255 --> 01:05:24,967
If you think I'm going to take you out
for a walk now, you're nuts.
842
01:05:32,724 --> 01:05:34,309
Okay. Let's just walk away from it.
843
01:05:34,434 --> 01:05:36,478
(STUTTERING) But wait, now wait.
You just don't understand.
844
01:05:36,562 --> 01:05:38,480
- Now, you let me...
- Don't worry about it. It looks good.
845
01:05:38,605 --> 01:05:40,440
Unless the material is draped
846
01:05:40,524 --> 01:05:43,443
in symmetrical harmony
with the hypotenuse of the models...
847
01:05:43,485 --> 01:05:44,570
GREG: Right. Right.
848
01:05:44,653 --> 01:05:46,613
- Let's get this one shot and go home.
- Now, now just a minute!
849
01:05:46,655 --> 01:05:49,199
- You just wait just a minute, here.
- Hit the lights.
850
01:05:49,908 --> 01:05:52,578
- Pretty. Pretty.
- But you don't understand.
851
01:05:52,661 --> 01:05:56,123
I am trying to develop
an intrinsic multilateral symmetry
852
01:05:56,206 --> 01:05:58,834
between animate and inanimate objects.
853
01:05:59,209 --> 01:06:00,210
No, no.
854
01:06:00,294 --> 01:06:03,547
Think of all the time that I've spent
shopping, shopping, shopping...
855
01:06:03,630 --> 01:06:05,424
- Okay, girls. Here we go.
...for all the material.
856
01:06:05,465 --> 01:06:07,968
- Hold still.
- All those panels must fit the...
857
01:06:08,010 --> 01:06:10,971
Greg, will you get some
individual shots of the girls, please?
858
01:06:11,513 --> 01:06:14,391
- Yes, sir.
- That's a very good idea, Mr. Penlow.
859
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:15,934
Thank you.
860
01:06:34,828 --> 01:06:37,372
Good night, Mr. Penlow.
Have a pleasant evening.
861
01:06:47,007 --> 01:06:48,300
Goodbye, baby.
862
01:06:50,802 --> 01:06:52,054
Hi, there.
863
01:06:52,137 --> 01:06:54,765
Glad to see you're leaving
at a decent hour, my boy.
864
01:06:54,848 --> 01:06:56,642
- Hi, Greg.
- You know, Pat here looked great
865
01:06:56,683 --> 01:06:57,810
in those outfits, Mr. Penlow.
866
01:06:57,893 --> 01:06:59,812
I know. I know.
867
01:07:02,648 --> 01:07:04,274
Hello, Landsdown.
868
01:07:04,775 --> 01:07:06,318
Hi, Mike.
869
01:07:06,819 --> 01:07:08,320
You two know each other?
870
01:07:08,362 --> 01:07:10,572
As a matter of fact, Lewis, we do.
871
01:07:17,996 --> 01:07:19,623
Good night, Greg.
872
01:07:25,045 --> 01:07:27,089
Wait a minute.
What do you think you're doing?
873
01:07:27,172 --> 01:07:30,384
I haven't finished reading this part, yet.
Thank you.
874
01:07:53,157 --> 01:07:55,701
- Don't hit me.
- I'm not going to hit you.
875
01:07:55,784 --> 01:07:58,036
- I had a reason to be here.
- I bet it's a good one.
876
01:07:58,203 --> 01:08:00,205
Well, she borrowed my car.
I had to come and get it.
877
01:08:00,247 --> 01:08:03,333
That's a good one. Say, Harry,
I hear you're selling your house.
878
01:08:03,542 --> 01:08:05,794
Well, I tried to, but I just couldn't.
879
01:08:06,295 --> 01:08:08,255
That house holds a lot of memories.
880
01:08:08,589 --> 01:08:10,674
After she left me, I was Ionely.
881
01:08:10,757 --> 01:08:12,176
She left you?
882
01:08:12,259 --> 01:08:15,888
Well, she moved out.
Said she didn't want to see me again.
883
01:08:16,096 --> 01:08:17,639
Stick with it, Harry. You can do it.
884
01:08:17,723 --> 01:08:19,933
I know I can do it if I try.
885
01:08:21,059 --> 01:08:22,811
Well, so long, Greg.
886
01:08:22,895 --> 01:08:25,272
- Yeah. See you, Harry.
- Probably.
887
01:08:41,413 --> 01:08:43,582
Off. Off. Come on.
888
01:08:47,961 --> 01:08:48,962
(GROANING)
889
01:08:51,089 --> 01:08:52,883
- I brought you some chicken.
- Thank you.
890
01:08:53,258 --> 01:08:54,593
Thank you.
891
01:08:55,552 --> 01:08:57,888
- How do you feel today?
- Better.
892
01:08:58,305 --> 01:09:01,016
I was able to brush
my own teeth this evening.
893
01:09:01,099 --> 01:09:02,559
Good for you.
894
01:09:05,312 --> 01:09:08,816
- I ran into Harry outside.
- He came back for his car.
895
01:09:09,316 --> 01:09:11,235
That's what he told me.
896
01:09:13,987 --> 01:09:17,950
I hope you realize how much
I appreciate what you're doing for me.
897
01:09:17,991 --> 01:09:20,244
It's perfectly all right. Perfectly all right.
898
01:09:20,494 --> 01:09:22,704
I hope it's not too much
of an inconvenience.
899
01:09:22,830 --> 01:09:24,039
Inconvenience?
900
01:09:24,122 --> 01:09:26,416
To have a full-grown horse
and a half-grown woman
901
01:09:26,500 --> 01:09:28,460
share my one-bedroom house?
902
01:09:29,002 --> 01:09:30,462
You must be kidding.
903
01:09:30,504 --> 01:09:32,506
- What're you going to do?
- I'm going to take a hot shower.
904
01:09:32,548 --> 01:09:34,550
My back's been killing me all day.
905
01:09:38,136 --> 01:09:41,807
Did you have any dinner?
Aren't you hungry?
906
01:09:41,974 --> 01:09:45,018
I had something to eat on the way home.
I just want to get some sleep.
907
01:10:12,838 --> 01:10:14,673
Bernice, was there something
you wanted in here?
908
01:10:14,756 --> 01:10:17,176
- I just came in to get an aspirin.
- Go ahead.
909
01:10:17,384 --> 01:10:18,510
Thank you.
910
01:10:20,971 --> 01:10:22,723
- Got it?
- Yeah.
911
01:10:23,098 --> 01:10:24,266
Good.
912
01:10:28,020 --> 01:10:29,188
Is there something else you want?
913
01:10:29,229 --> 01:10:30,439
Do you want me to scrub
your back for you?
914
01:10:30,522 --> 01:10:31,732
No, that's not necessary. Thank you.
915
01:10:31,815 --> 01:10:33,692
- No, I don't mind. Really I don't.
- It's not necessary.
916
01:10:33,734 --> 01:10:35,235
- Look, Bernice, why don't you go...
- Afraid?
917
01:10:35,319 --> 01:10:37,446
- Of what?
- That you might lose control.
918
01:10:37,529 --> 01:10:39,406
I never lose control.
919
01:10:39,490 --> 01:10:43,827
Okay. Prove that you can allow me
to scrub your back without attacking me.
920
01:10:43,911 --> 01:10:46,330
- You're nuts. Nuts!
- Are you afraid?
921
01:10:46,413 --> 01:10:48,207
- Of course not.
- Fine.
922
01:10:53,921 --> 01:10:54,922
(EX CLAIMS)
923
01:10:55,005 --> 01:10:56,423
My back don't go that far down.
924
01:10:56,507 --> 01:10:59,218
- Beginning to lose control, huh?
- Hell, no.
925
01:10:59,718 --> 01:11:00,802
Watch it!
926
01:11:00,886 --> 01:11:04,223
- You lost control.
- Out. Out. Out.
927
01:11:04,348 --> 01:11:06,183
Get back in your bed.
928
01:11:16,360 --> 01:11:18,529
It's a pity you have
to sleep in the chair again.
929
01:11:18,612 --> 01:11:20,155
I think I'll try the couch tonight.
930
01:11:20,239 --> 01:11:23,867
Perhaps you could sleep in your own bed,
after all. I wouldn't attack you.
931
01:11:24,034 --> 01:11:25,786
I'm much too weak.
932
01:11:25,869 --> 01:11:27,412
Now look, now let's get one thing straight.
933
01:11:27,496 --> 01:11:29,790
You're here because I think
you hurt yourself.
934
01:11:30,415 --> 01:11:33,126
Oh, Greg, of course I did.
935
01:11:33,293 --> 01:11:34,837
Well, I'm not going
to get involved with you.
936
01:11:34,920 --> 01:11:37,422
I'm not going to be just another guy
that you lead around on a leash.
937
01:11:37,631 --> 01:11:40,259
- It wouldn't be that way.
- Oh, no?
938
01:11:40,425 --> 01:11:42,970
Look, I'm a man.
I like to make decisions for myself.
939
01:11:43,053 --> 01:11:46,014
If you ever start thinking like a woman,
you'll understand what that means.
940
01:11:46,265 --> 01:11:47,724
Get some sleep.
941
01:11:49,143 --> 01:11:50,894
- Good night.
- Good night.
942
01:12:01,321 --> 01:12:03,699
(BERNICE GIGGLING)
943
01:12:13,000 --> 01:12:17,045
SALLY: Wake up, sleeping beauty.
It's uncomfortable up here.
944
01:12:20,841 --> 01:12:24,178
What's the matter?
Your girl keep you up all night?
945
01:12:24,344 --> 01:12:26,638
You've got a dirty mind, Sally.
946
01:12:27,014 --> 01:12:29,475
Can I have a sweet roll and coffee, honey?
947
01:12:29,892 --> 01:12:32,728
Hot damn. Hey, I gotta be
at the Music Center in 20 minutes.
948
01:12:32,853 --> 01:12:34,771
Get rid of that stuff
and let's get some shots.
949
01:12:34,855 --> 01:12:38,317
Oh, come on.
I haven't had any breakfast yet.
950
01:12:38,734 --> 01:12:40,903
Please? Come on. Just a little.
951
01:12:42,029 --> 01:12:44,531
Hey, that's great. See you later, kid.
952
01:13:10,641 --> 01:13:11,642
Wow!
953
01:13:39,127 --> 01:13:41,213
(POLICE SIRENS WAILING)
954
01:13:54,351 --> 01:13:55,352
(HONKING)
955
01:14:35,476 --> 01:14:36,768
Thank you.
956
01:14:40,647 --> 01:14:41,940
(CRASHING)
957
01:14:59,583 --> 01:15:01,043
Sorry, folks.
958
01:15:04,546 --> 01:15:05,797
You're terribly late.
959
01:15:05,881 --> 01:15:08,967
I'm afraid we may not be able
to capture the proper mood in this light.
960
01:15:09,009 --> 01:15:12,179
- We'll get everything you need.
- Well, I certainly don't see how.
961
01:15:12,262 --> 01:15:14,473
The sun is completely wrong.
962
01:15:14,515 --> 01:15:17,434
Mr. Penlow will be terribly unhappy.
963
01:15:17,643 --> 01:15:21,271
Take this reflector and go stand
behind the table. I need some fill light.
964
01:15:27,027 --> 01:15:28,946
Back up, now, you're in my picture.
965
01:15:30,113 --> 01:15:32,491
More. More.
966
01:15:35,369 --> 01:15:38,372
That's great. Hey, folks, hold it.
967
01:15:38,413 --> 01:15:39,957
Got it. Good.
968
01:15:51,760 --> 01:15:54,346
I hope this is strong enough for you.
969
01:15:59,601 --> 01:16:00,769
It is.
970
01:16:02,104 --> 01:16:04,148
Aren't you going to
an awful lot of trouble?
971
01:16:04,481 --> 01:16:09,403
Well, it's the least I can do for someone
as sweet, kind and generous as yourself.
972
01:16:14,074 --> 01:16:16,952
Dinner'll be ready in about 15 minutes.
973
01:16:18,787 --> 01:16:21,665
In the meanwhile,
how about a little cocktail music?
974
01:16:22,082 --> 01:16:25,002
- Where'd you get that?
- It belonged to my dear mother.
975
01:16:46,231 --> 01:16:49,693
(SINGING
ALMOSTIN LOVE)
976
01:19:26,350 --> 01:19:29,144
I have a surprise for you.
977
01:19:29,561 --> 01:19:31,104
Harry's coming to dinner?
978
01:19:31,188 --> 01:19:33,357
No. Come on, I'll show you.
979
01:19:43,283 --> 01:19:46,745
Now you can sleep
in your own bed in safety.
980
01:20:08,809 --> 01:20:10,435
What did you do just then?
981
01:20:10,894 --> 01:20:13,313
- Do?
- Yeah, to my ear.
982
01:20:13,939 --> 01:20:16,650
Oh, I just gave it a little sisterly kiss.
983
01:20:16,733 --> 01:20:18,735
That was a sisterly kiss?
984
01:20:19,486 --> 01:20:22,114
- I don't know. Have you ever had a sister?
- No.
985
01:20:22,322 --> 01:20:26,326
Well, neither have I. So how do we know?
Maybe it was a sisterly kiss.
986
01:20:27,995 --> 01:20:29,371
Lights out.
987
01:20:31,498 --> 01:20:33,000
Yes, my lord.
988
01:20:36,879 --> 01:20:37,880
BERNICE: Ouch!
989
01:20:38,338 --> 01:20:40,757
- What's the matter?
- I got a splinter.
990
01:20:41,508 --> 01:20:43,760
That'll teach you not to climb fences.
991
01:20:44,136 --> 01:20:46,513
Will you take the splinter out for me?
992
01:20:46,763 --> 01:20:48,849
Sure. Where is it?
993
01:20:51,143 --> 01:20:52,644
Oh, never mind.
994
01:20:55,230 --> 01:20:56,607
(GREG CHUCKLING)
995
01:21:09,203 --> 01:21:11,580
Good morning, Mr. Penlow.
How are you, sir?
996
01:21:11,663 --> 01:21:14,500
My goodness,
that is a progressive costume.
997
01:21:14,541 --> 01:21:16,335
Did you wish to see Mr. Landsdown?
998
01:21:16,418 --> 01:21:18,378
Yes. Where is the old reprobate?
999
01:21:18,420 --> 01:21:19,880
He's in the studio, watching the new
1000
01:21:19,922 --> 01:21:22,007
center spread being shot
for the next issue.
1001
01:21:22,090 --> 01:21:23,467
Good. Good. I'll talk to him there.
1002
01:21:23,550 --> 01:21:26,053
- Through that door.
- Thanks, pussycat.
1003
01:21:28,555 --> 01:21:30,849
Okay, baby, let's go to work.
1004
01:21:31,975 --> 01:21:33,018
GREG: Oops!
1005
01:21:33,060 --> 01:21:36,188
Hold still. Yeah, that's nice. That's nice.
1006
01:21:37,773 --> 01:21:39,858
Good morning, Landsdown.
1007
01:21:39,900 --> 01:21:42,194
I see you're using Pat.
1008
01:21:42,361 --> 01:21:43,529
PAT: Hi, Lewis.
1009
01:21:43,612 --> 01:21:45,781
Lucky for me I ran into you
the other evening.
1010
01:21:45,864 --> 01:21:47,783
Pat is just perfect
for this spread we're doing.
1011
01:21:47,866 --> 01:21:50,035
Glad I could be of help.
1012
01:21:50,118 --> 01:21:53,789
What brings you to girl country, Lewis?
Doing a little underhanded research?
1013
01:21:53,872 --> 01:21:55,999
As a matter of fact, I need your help.
1014
01:21:56,083 --> 01:21:59,169
We're trying a new approach
in a series of bathing suit ads.
1015
01:21:59,253 --> 01:22:01,672
I'd like you to recommend
a good pin-up photographer.
1016
01:22:01,755 --> 01:22:05,509
Why, that's easy. He's right here.
Greg Nolan, meet Lewis Penlow.
1017
01:22:10,013 --> 01:22:11,223
Good morning, Mr. Penlow.
1018
01:22:11,306 --> 01:22:14,101
Well, if it isn't the young man
with the truth.
1019
01:22:14,434 --> 01:22:17,229
- The truth is, you're fired.
- Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
1020
01:22:17,312 --> 01:22:19,565
That goes for Landsdown Enterprises,
as well.
1021
01:22:19,815 --> 01:22:22,651
You can't fire me.
What have I done wrong?
1022
01:22:22,734 --> 01:22:25,404
- For one thing, you're out of uniform.
- That's not a good enough reason.
1023
01:22:25,445 --> 01:22:26,530
It is for me.
1024
01:22:26,613 --> 01:22:30,242
If you'll excuse me, Nolan, I'm expected
at a fund-raising luncheon within the hour.
1025
01:22:30,284 --> 01:22:32,035
Have you ever known me
to miss a single deadline?
1026
01:22:32,119 --> 01:22:33,620
You said yourself
my pictures were excellent.
1027
01:22:33,704 --> 01:22:36,331
What you've done is the lowest,
crudest, most unprincipled,
1028
01:22:36,540 --> 01:22:37,833
filthiest, dirtiest, crudest...
1029
01:22:37,916 --> 01:22:39,751
- You said "crudest."
...most reprehensible thing
1030
01:22:39,793 --> 01:22:41,295
I've ever heard of in my entire life!
1031
01:22:41,378 --> 01:22:44,798
- Well, how about that.
- Show me a liar, and I'll show thee a thief.
1032
01:22:46,925 --> 01:22:50,762
- Is that your final word on the matter?
- That's my final, cotton-picking word.
1033
01:22:50,888 --> 01:22:53,056
Okay, then. I'll resign.
1034
01:22:53,140 --> 01:22:56,018
Now, wait a minute. You can't resign.
I fired you.
1035
01:22:56,101 --> 01:22:59,271
I'm not giving you the satisfaction
of kicking me out.
1036
01:22:59,563 --> 01:23:02,608
How the hell did you manage
to hold down two jobs at once?
1037
01:23:02,733 --> 01:23:05,736
It wasn't easy.
I just traded off between you.
1038
01:23:05,819 --> 01:23:07,779
A couple hours here, a couple hours there.
1039
01:23:07,863 --> 01:23:10,324
Different lunch hours.
Different coffee breaks.
1040
01:23:10,574 --> 01:23:13,994
I'll be damned. Two full-time jobs.
1041
01:23:14,077 --> 01:23:16,830
That's the sneakiest thing I ever heard of.
1042
01:23:16,997 --> 01:23:18,290
Penlow had a few other names for it.
1043
01:23:18,373 --> 01:23:22,336
Forget Penlow. He's a stuffed shirt.
I like your style, Greg.
1044
01:23:22,377 --> 01:23:24,463
You're full of the old larceny.
1045
01:23:24,505 --> 01:23:27,049
- Thanks, Mike.
- Wish I had 50 more like you, by God.
1046
01:23:27,132 --> 01:23:31,220
You stop by the bookkeeper's desk
and tell her I said to double your salary.
1047
01:23:31,929 --> 01:23:33,680
Tell her yourself.
1048
01:23:37,559 --> 01:23:40,312
By God, I like his spirit.
1049
01:23:41,230 --> 01:23:43,357
Give me a double clam juice.
1050
01:23:45,526 --> 01:23:47,152
Bernice.
1051
01:23:47,194 --> 01:23:49,988
Bernice. Bernice.
1052
01:23:50,072 --> 01:23:53,033
Hi, darling. I was just fixing dinner for you.
1053
01:24:34,116 --> 01:24:35,159
(BERNICE SPEAKING)
1054
01:25:19,369 --> 01:25:21,747
How about that? Come on in, man.
1055
01:25:21,788 --> 01:25:24,249
Sit down and take a load off your feet.
Have you had some breakfast?
1056
01:25:24,333 --> 01:25:25,542
Where is she?
1057
01:25:25,751 --> 01:25:28,212
- Who?
- Who the hell do you think I mean?
1058
01:25:28,712 --> 01:25:30,255
It seems to me
she was staying at your place.
1059
01:25:30,339 --> 01:25:32,508
She disappeared.
Either last night or early this morning.
1060
01:25:32,591 --> 01:25:33,842
What do you want her for?
1061
01:25:33,926 --> 01:25:36,595
How the hell do I know?
Maybe I'm in love with her.
1062
01:25:37,638 --> 01:25:39,097
Maybe I want to marry her.
1063
01:25:39,264 --> 01:25:41,058
- You can't do that.
- Why not?
1064
01:25:42,142 --> 01:25:45,145
- All right, I do know where she is.
- Well, then, where is she?
1065
01:25:48,482 --> 01:25:49,942
What does that mean?
1066
01:25:49,983 --> 01:25:52,903
Well, she came here this morning
and asked me to take her back.
1067
01:25:52,986 --> 01:25:55,531
- Said she'd learned her lesson.
- And?
1068
01:25:56,114 --> 01:25:58,325
- And I agreed.
- I don't believe you.
1069
01:25:58,408 --> 01:26:01,119
Jeez. Look, I'm sorry.
It's just one of those things.
1070
01:26:01,203 --> 01:26:02,996
- The best man won.
- I want to talk to her.
1071
01:26:03,080 --> 01:26:05,874
- She said she didn't want to see you.
- You let her tell me that. Bernice!
1072
01:26:06,542 --> 01:26:07,793
Bernice!
1073
01:26:18,762 --> 01:26:20,013
Bernice.
1074
01:26:24,226 --> 01:26:26,562
I'm sorry, Greg. I really am.
1075
01:26:48,333 --> 01:26:49,293
(ALBERT WHIMPERS)
1076
01:26:54,715 --> 01:26:56,592
- Hi.
- Hi.
1077
01:26:57,217 --> 01:26:59,178
Mind if I sit here?
1078
01:26:59,636 --> 01:27:02,681
- On the sand?
- Sure. It's not my sand.
1079
01:27:04,391 --> 01:27:06,059
Why did you run away?
1080
01:27:07,352 --> 01:27:09,313
Harry said you came back to him.
1081
01:27:10,230 --> 01:27:11,773
Harry's full of lemon drops.
1082
01:27:11,857 --> 01:27:14,776
I haven't seen him
since he came to pick up his car.
1083
01:27:15,360 --> 01:27:18,363
Well, if you didn't go back to Harry,
then why did you leave?
1084
01:27:18,989 --> 01:27:21,450
- To think.
- About what?
1085
01:27:22,993 --> 01:27:24,244
Love.
1086
01:27:24,745 --> 01:27:26,413
What did you decide?
1087
01:27:27,623 --> 01:27:31,210
I decided I love you.
1088
01:27:32,461 --> 01:27:33,754
You know something?
1089
01:27:34,296 --> 01:27:35,923
I love you, too.
1090
01:27:39,635 --> 01:27:41,094
What did you feel?
1091
01:27:41,178 --> 01:27:43,430
- Nothing.
- Nothing?
1092
01:27:43,806 --> 01:27:45,349
N-O-T-H...
1093
01:27:45,432 --> 01:27:48,268
- Sic her, Albert!
- Now, wait a minute. That's not fair.
1094
01:27:48,352 --> 01:27:50,229
Go get her. Go get her, Albert. Go!
1095
01:27:50,270 --> 01:27:53,065
Albert! You traitor!
1096
01:27:53,816 --> 01:27:57,569
You can't do this to me! I feed you!
1097
01:27:57,653 --> 01:28:00,906
Albert! Help! I can't swim!
1098
01:28:00,989 --> 01:28:03,575
- I'll never forgive you!
- Come on in, Bernice.
1099
01:28:03,659 --> 01:28:07,371
- It's time to go home.
- I'll meet you halfway.
1100
01:29:00,340 --> 01:29:01,341
English - SDH
1101
01:29:02,384 --> 01:30:04,947
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