Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:17,470
It is not true,
although culture claims the opposite,
3
00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:21,075
that the only purpose of sex is procreation.
4
00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:24,152
It also serves to give pleasure.
5
00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:26,993
And nature, which is wiser than culture,
6
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,958
in order to encourage people
to procreate,
7
00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:33,635
has linked this duty to sexual pleasure.
8
00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:40,114
Without it, it is practically impossible
to fulfil the first.
9
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:54,990
TINTO BRASS
Presents
10
00:00:55,080 --> 00:01:00,029
The Ladybird <>
11
00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:41,676
The towel is the blue one,
do you remember?
12
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,230
Yes, yes, thank you.
13
00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:12,039
Take your time, as if you were at your place.
14
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,190
If you need anything, just call me.
15
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,157
No, thank you.
16
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,278
If only I'd thought about it.
17
00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:26,797
I should have left a girlie magazine
in the bathroom.
18
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:32,192
Well, maybe I'll find one... Let's see.
19
00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:38,114
What do I have here -
Bella, Tutto Uncinetto, I don't think so.
20
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:43,479
What about this one, ''Io Vorrei Essere L�''
by Giandomenico Curi. No.
21
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:48,432
Mani Di Fata... Well, maybe Amica.
22
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:54,033
Would a magazine like Amica help?
23
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:57,316
Amica? What is it?
24
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,914
No, thank you.
25
00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:12,354
Fair enough. What would he do
with a magazine like that?
26
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:17,309
Although it contains some nice adverts
of women in underwear.
27
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,356
Let's have a look.
28
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:36,915
I can't do it like that.
29
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,710
I can't do it like that.
30
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,072
Well, is there anything else I can do?
31
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:59,109
- I don't think so.
- Sorry for asking such a stupid thing.
32
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,070
- May I?
- Please.
33
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,591
They made it grey.
34
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,035
But why? Tell me that.
35
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,915
I wouldn't know.
36
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,038
- You see, madam...
- Call me Livia.
37
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:28,476
Well, Livia, you see, I am a painter.
38
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,273
I'm not famous. I just get by.
39
00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,670
But for me, colours are everything.
Colours are life.
40
00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,435
I live by colours.
Every situation has its colour.
41
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:43,433
This grey gets me down. That's it.
42
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,112
I'm sorry.
43
00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:50,194
Who says a sperm container
should not be coloured?
44
00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:53,909
Why can't they be red, pink, fuchsia?
45
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,355
Fuchsia would be perfect.
46
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,476
You might be right.
47
00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:02,189
- The shape could be different.
- Sorry?
48
00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:07,308
Well, because of its use,
it could have a shape a little bit more...
49
00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:11,678
- Let's not exaggerate.
- No, I meant something more appropriate.
50
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:16,276
Let's face it, it looks like a rubbish bin.
51
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:22,356
ln miniature. Sorry, it was a stupid
thing to say. I didn't mean it.
52
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:30,670
Look, your husband hasn't arrived yet.
53
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,519
Maybe I'll give it another try.
54
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,514
lt's impossible.
55
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:46,715
I was happy to accept your husband's
invitation to visit you,
56
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,916
to chat, have a drink together.
57
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:54,950
But I had no idea I would have to do
this ''thing'' here, in your house.
58
00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,036
- What if we paint it?
- Paint what?
59
00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:02,635
- Well, this, of course.
- Paint the container?
60
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:05,188
- lt might help you.
- Come off it.
61
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,999
You said that everything has its colour.
62
00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:10,992
I was referring to paintings,
not little dustbins.
63
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:14,789
- You said grey gets you down.
- I was speaking figuratively.
64
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:20,113
Imagine if I paint this thing
hoping that somehow...maybe...
65
00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,758
I feel stupid.
66
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:25,435
Come on, lighten up. Just do it for fun.
67
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:30,310
I should have a paintbox,
I bought it for my niece but she left it here.
68
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,755
I guess she's not into painting.
69
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,749
Here, they're new.
70
00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:42,631
Now express yourself, choose a colour -
red, pink, fuchsia, polka dots.
71
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:46,076
- Do you like green?
- Yes, but you are the one who has to...
72
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,071
Bright green is perfect.
73
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:51,311
Why don't you draw
a lush green landscape?
74
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,914
- Why don't I put Santa in as well?
- Hey!
75
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,912
Just kidding. But why not, if you like it?
76
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:01,312
Draw a ladybird, or rather two.
77
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,595
- Ladybirds?
- They're aphrodisiac.
78
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:04,999
- Ladybirds?
- Yes.
79
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:09,119
I didn't know either. I read it somewhere,
I don't remember now.
80
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:13,273
They must have done some experiments,
some tests.
81
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:16,033
- Here!
- You don't like green?
82
00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:19,396
- I don't like the whole idea.
- Did I offend...
83
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,631
Well, yes.
You think that ladybirds can turn me on?
84
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:25,314
- Why not?
- Excuse me,
85
00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,154
but I didn't imagined myself in the bathroom
looking at ladybirds.
86
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,038
Your husband went to get
a Cuba libre and disappeared.
87
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,998
I've had enough.
I don't understand anything any more.
88
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,594
I don't need a Cuba libre
and I don't need ladybirds!
89
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,274
Then you tell me what you want!
90
00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:44,638
I don't know, a certain ambience,
a certain kind of music.
91
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,799
I was hoping not to use it.
92
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,997
- Will this work?
- lt always has.
93
00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,196
Shall I put the stereo in the bathroom?
94
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,350
No, just turn the volume up.
95
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,396
Can I start the music?
96
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,436
Just a moment.
97
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,629
OK, play it.
98
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,989
B! Side B!
99
00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:20,120
Side B. Oh, no!
100
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,469
G YPSY WOMEN
101
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,156
ls it working?
102
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,716
ls it working?
103
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:32,039
Are you getting anywhere?
104
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:38,475
If you'd help me,
instead of asking questions.
105
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:41,358
Do you want me to turn the volume up?
106
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:45,513
Why don't you try
to move like Kim Basinger?
107
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:49,159
Well, then I have to be in the kitchen.
108
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,993
No, it's fine where you are.
109
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,355
I'll look through the keyhole.
110
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,671
How's it going?
111
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,790
Ah, my husband.
112
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,359
Sorry for interrupting your party, miss.
113
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:13,433
We wanted to leave you a copy
of our publication, The Tower Of Jesus.
114
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,476
We are Jehovah's Witnesses.
115
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:19,348
I'm sorry, but I'm busy,
and I can't waste my time.
116
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,870
We'll come back when she's less busy.
117
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:26,919
She seemed a bit aroused.
Let's go downstairs.
118
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,593
So, is everything all right?
119
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:40,877
You made it. White smoke signal.
120
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,799
No.
121
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:45,995
Then I turn the music off.
122
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,395
Yes, I think so.
123
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,795
- And now what do we do?
- When I draw...
124
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:05,950
What happens?
125
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:11,034
I get aroused. It's a different kind
of excitement, an artistic excitement.
126
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:14,317
Why didn't you tell me before?
Come on, draw.
127
00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,868
- lt was just an example.
- Well, if it works...
128
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,679
- I didn't...
- Let's not waste time. You never know.
129
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:23,275
I can't guarantee anything.
I'm not a sperm expert.
130
00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:26,989
That's obvious,
otherwise you wouldn't need all this help.
131
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:31,073
I don't need any help.
Normally I have great...
132
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:44,637
I perfectly understand.
I told my husband it wasn't a good idea.
133
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:48,679
It's not so easy to let yourself go
in front of a stranger.
134
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:53,197
And to be honest,
to meet my sperm donor personally,
135
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,316
well, it embarrassed me a little...
136
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,868
even if I seem relaxed.
137
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:40,078
I'm almost there.
I don't want to tempt fate,
138
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,276
but I think I'll give it a try.
139
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,838
- The container!
- Thanks.
140
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,388
- Good luck.
- Thank you!
141
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,433
So? Is it a white smoke signal?
142
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,356
No, black.
143
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,549
I can't believe it. There must be a way!
144
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:34,350
- I don't know what else to do.
- There must be a way to make you co...
145
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,159
to fill up the container.
146
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,718
- Veronique.
- Is she your girlfriend?
147
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,394
No, but she could make it happen.
148
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,471
Sorry, I don't follow.
149
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,711
- She is a 166.
- A 166.
150
00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:54,669
You mean a chatline girl. Brilliant idea.
Why didn't you tell me before? Call her.
151
00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:57,194
I can't. She doesn't start till midnight.
152
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,520
What if I give it a go?
153
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,797
You? But do you know how to do it?
154
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:10,953
Well, I learnt one or two tricks
from the TV. Here.
155
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,232
Follow me.
156
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,310
Hello, what's your name?
157
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,595
My name is Ilario.
158
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:44,595
At last, I missed you so much.
Where are you?
159
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,150
I can't tell you.
160
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,839
Are you ready for another wild night?
161
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,189
Are you holding it?
162
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:04,311
Let me guide you.
I'll take care of everything. You just relax.
163
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,516
l'll do everything.
164
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:11,310
Close your eyes. Relax. Just think of me.
165
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:16,952
I am completely naked on this huge bed.
And I'll make you fly.
166
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,797
lt's a real pity you're not here with me.
167
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:32,591
I'm wearing a pair of stockings
which I'm sure you'd like.
168
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,911
Let me hear your voice, come on.
169
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:40,037
Come on, naughty boy,
are you touching yourself?
170
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:42,918
I know you are.
171
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,470
Tell me where you are. Where are you?
172
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,793
I'm here.
173
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,996
Well?
174
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,036
I can't.
175
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,076
Never mind.
176
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:47,118
I told my husband it wouldn't work.
177
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,110
Maybe it's my fault too.
178
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,470
No, it is not your fault.
179
00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:35,834
So much has happened today. lt's been hell.
180
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:41,588
lt's like having a switch going on and off,
181
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,717
on and off.
182
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,394
I just hope it doesn't go haywire.
183
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,077
Here we go again.
184
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,116
lt's switching on.
185
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,270
I don't know what to do.
186
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,633
I'm scared. Help me.
187
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,400
Do it there. Do it on the armchair.
188
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,074
- How?
- You said the bathroom depresses you.
189
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:13,756
- I can't do it in front of you.
- I won't look. Just go for it.
190
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:24,070
You are crazy and I am even crazier.
191
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,310
Don't lose concentration.
192
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,231
I'm not!
193
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:32,118
- I can't do it. I just can't.
- Let me do it.
194
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,191
- What are you doing?
- War is war.
195
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:38,592
- What if your husband comes back?
- He's in Cuba. lt's a matter of principle.
196
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,717
- Can I get the container?
- Please.
197
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,950
Was it so difficult?
198
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,636
- It fell down.
- I can see it.
199
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,518
- Follow me.
- Do you think it's a switch?
200
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,512
Just follow me. Don't lose concentration.
201
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,319
- I'm not.
- Yes, you are, I can tell.
202
00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,756
I can't open it.
I need my strength down there.
203
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,590
- Here we are.
- Yes, but down here you are not ready.
204
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,520
- What are you doing?
- I'm helping myself.
205
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,717
- You hold the container.
- OK.
206
00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,030
- It fell again.
- I can see it.
207
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:18,839
- Will you pick it up?
- Yes. Excuse me.
208
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:22,037
Here we go. Careful. Now!
209
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:22,518
Come on. We are almost there.
210
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,550
- Yes, I can feel it.
- Come on, come on!
211
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,103
Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player
16162
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.