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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:17,470 It is not true, although culture claims the opposite, 3 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:21,075 that the only purpose of sex is procreation. 4 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:24,152 It also serves to give pleasure. 5 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:26,993 And nature, which is wiser than culture, 6 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,958 in order to encourage people to procreate, 7 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:33,635 has linked this duty to sexual pleasure. 8 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:40,114 Without it, it is practically impossible to fulfil the first. 9 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:54,990 TINTO BRASS Presents 10 00:00:55,080 --> 00:01:00,029 The Ladybird <> 11 00:01:38,320 --> 00:01:41,676 The towel is the blue one, do you remember? 12 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,230 Yes, yes, thank you. 13 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:12,039 Take your time, as if you were at your place. 14 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:14,190 If you need anything, just call me. 15 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,157 No, thank you. 16 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,278 If only I'd thought about it. 17 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:26,797 I should have left a girlie magazine in the bathroom. 18 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:32,192 Well, maybe I'll find one... Let's see. 19 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:38,114 What do I have here - Bella, Tutto Uncinetto, I don't think so. 20 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:43,479 What about this one, ''Io Vorrei Essere L�'' by Giandomenico Curi. No. 21 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:48,432 Mani Di Fata... Well, maybe Amica. 22 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:54,033 Would a magazine like Amica help? 23 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:57,316 Amica? What is it? 24 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,914 No, thank you. 25 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:12,354 Fair enough. What would he do with a magazine like that? 26 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:17,309 Although it contains some nice adverts of women in underwear. 27 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,356 Let's have a look. 28 00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:36,915 I can't do it like that. 29 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,710 I can't do it like that. 30 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,072 Well, is there anything else I can do? 31 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:59,109 - I don't think so. - Sorry for asking such a stupid thing. 32 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,070 - May I? - Please. 33 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,591 They made it grey. 34 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,035 But why? Tell me that. 35 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,915 I wouldn't know. 36 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,038 - You see, madam... - Call me Livia. 37 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:28,476 Well, Livia, you see, I am a painter. 38 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,273 I'm not famous. I just get by. 39 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,670 But for me, colours are everything. Colours are life. 40 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,435 I live by colours. Every situation has its colour. 41 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:43,433 This grey gets me down. That's it. 42 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,112 I'm sorry. 43 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:50,194 Who says a sperm container should not be coloured? 44 00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:53,909 Why can't they be red, pink, fuchsia? 45 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,355 Fuchsia would be perfect. 46 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,476 You might be right. 47 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:02,189 - The shape could be different. - Sorry? 48 00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:07,308 Well, because of its use, it could have a shape a little bit more... 49 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:11,678 - Let's not exaggerate. - No, I meant something more appropriate. 50 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:16,276 Let's face it, it looks like a rubbish bin. 51 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:22,356 ln miniature. Sorry, it was a stupid thing to say. I didn't mean it. 52 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:30,670 Look, your husband hasn't arrived yet. 53 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,519 Maybe I'll give it another try. 54 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,514 lt's impossible. 55 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:46,715 I was happy to accept your husband's invitation to visit you, 56 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,916 to chat, have a drink together. 57 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:54,950 But I had no idea I would have to do this ''thing'' here, in your house. 58 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,036 - What if we paint it? - Paint what? 59 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:02,635 - Well, this, of course. - Paint the container? 60 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:05,188 - lt might help you. - Come off it. 61 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,999 You said that everything has its colour. 62 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:10,992 I was referring to paintings, not little dustbins. 63 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:14,789 - You said grey gets you down. - I was speaking figuratively. 64 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:20,113 Imagine if I paint this thing hoping that somehow...maybe... 65 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:21,758 I feel stupid. 66 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:25,435 Come on, lighten up. Just do it for fun. 67 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:30,310 I should have a paintbox, I bought it for my niece but she left it here. 68 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,755 I guess she's not into painting. 69 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,749 Here, they're new. 70 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:42,631 Now express yourself, choose a colour - red, pink, fuchsia, polka dots. 71 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:46,076 - Do you like green? - Yes, but you are the one who has to... 72 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,071 Bright green is perfect. 73 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:51,311 Why don't you draw a lush green landscape? 74 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,914 - Why don't I put Santa in as well? - Hey! 75 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,912 Just kidding. But why not, if you like it? 76 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:01,312 Draw a ladybird, or rather two. 77 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,595 - Ladybirds? - They're aphrodisiac. 78 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:04,999 - Ladybirds? - Yes. 79 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:09,119 I didn't know either. I read it somewhere, I don't remember now. 80 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:13,273 They must have done some experiments, some tests. 81 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:16,033 - Here! - You don't like green? 82 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:19,396 - I don't like the whole idea. - Did I offend... 83 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,631 Well, yes. You think that ladybirds can turn me on? 84 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:25,314 - Why not? - Excuse me, 85 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,154 but I didn't imagined myself in the bathroom looking at ladybirds. 86 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,038 Your husband went to get a Cuba libre and disappeared. 87 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,998 I've had enough. I don't understand anything any more. 88 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,594 I don't need a Cuba libre and I don't need ladybirds! 89 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,274 Then you tell me what you want! 90 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:44,638 I don't know, a certain ambience, a certain kind of music. 91 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,799 I was hoping not to use it. 92 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,997 - Will this work? - lt always has. 93 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,196 Shall I put the stereo in the bathroom? 94 00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,350 No, just turn the volume up. 95 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,396 Can I start the music? 96 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,436 Just a moment. 97 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,629 OK, play it. 98 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,989 B! Side B! 99 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:20,120 Side B. Oh, no! 100 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:29,469 G YPSY WOMEN 101 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,156 ls it working? 102 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:28,716 ls it working? 103 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:32,039 Are you getting anywhere? 104 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:38,475 If you'd help me, instead of asking questions. 105 00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:41,358 Do you want me to turn the volume up? 106 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:45,513 Why don't you try to move like Kim Basinger? 107 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:49,159 Well, then I have to be in the kitchen. 108 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,993 No, it's fine where you are. 109 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,355 I'll look through the keyhole. 110 00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,671 How's it going? 111 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,790 Ah, my husband. 112 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,359 Sorry for interrupting your party, miss. 113 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:13,433 We wanted to leave you a copy of our publication, The Tower Of Jesus. 114 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,476 We are Jehovah's Witnesses. 115 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:19,348 I'm sorry, but I'm busy, and I can't waste my time. 116 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,870 We'll come back when she's less busy. 117 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:26,919 She seemed a bit aroused. Let's go downstairs. 118 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,593 So, is everything all right? 119 00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:40,877 You made it. White smoke signal. 120 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,799 No. 121 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:45,995 Then I turn the music off. 122 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,395 Yes, I think so. 123 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,795 - And now what do we do? - When I draw... 124 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:05,950 What happens? 125 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:11,034 I get aroused. It's a different kind of excitement, an artistic excitement. 126 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:14,317 Why didn't you tell me before? Come on, draw. 127 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:16,868 - lt was just an example. - Well, if it works... 128 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,679 - I didn't... - Let's not waste time. You never know. 129 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:23,275 I can't guarantee anything. I'm not a sperm expert. 130 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:26,989 That's obvious, otherwise you wouldn't need all this help. 131 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:31,073 I don't need any help. Normally I have great... 132 00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:44,637 I perfectly understand. I told my husband it wasn't a good idea. 133 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:48,679 It's not so easy to let yourself go in front of a stranger. 134 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:53,197 And to be honest, to meet my sperm donor personally, 135 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,316 well, it embarrassed me a little... 136 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,868 even if I seem relaxed. 137 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:40,078 I'm almost there. I don't want to tempt fate, 138 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,276 but I think I'll give it a try. 139 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,838 - The container! - Thanks. 140 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,388 - Good luck. - Thank you! 141 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,433 So? Is it a white smoke signal? 142 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:12,356 No, black. 143 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,549 I can't believe it. There must be a way! 144 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:34,350 - I don't know what else to do. - There must be a way to make you co... 145 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,159 to fill up the container. 146 00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,718 - Veronique. - Is she your girlfriend? 147 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,394 No, but she could make it happen. 148 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,471 Sorry, I don't follow. 149 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,711 - She is a 166. - A 166. 150 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:54,669 You mean a chatline girl. Brilliant idea. Why didn't you tell me before? Call her. 151 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:57,194 I can't. She doesn't start till midnight. 152 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,520 What if I give it a go? 153 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,797 You? But do you know how to do it? 154 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:10,953 Well, I learnt one or two tricks from the TV. Here. 155 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,232 Follow me. 156 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,310 Hello, what's your name? 157 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,595 My name is Ilario. 158 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:44,595 At last, I missed you so much. Where are you? 159 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,150 I can't tell you. 160 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,839 Are you ready for another wild night? 161 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:57,189 Are you holding it? 162 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:04,311 Let me guide you. I'll take care of everything. You just relax. 163 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,516 l'll do everything. 164 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:11,310 Close your eyes. Relax. Just think of me. 165 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:16,952 I am completely naked on this huge bed. And I'll make you fly. 166 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,797 lt's a real pity you're not here with me. 167 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:32,591 I'm wearing a pair of stockings which I'm sure you'd like. 168 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:36,911 Let me hear your voice, come on. 169 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:40,037 Come on, naughty boy, are you touching yourself? 170 00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:42,918 I know you are. 171 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,470 Tell me where you are. Where are you? 172 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,793 I'm here. 173 00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:00,996 Well? 174 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,036 I can't. 175 00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:44,076 Never mind. 176 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:47,118 I told my husband it wouldn't work. 177 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,110 Maybe it's my fault too. 178 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,470 No, it is not your fault. 179 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:35,834 So much has happened today. lt's been hell. 180 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:41,588 lt's like having a switch going on and off, 181 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,717 on and off. 182 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,394 I just hope it doesn't go haywire. 183 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,077 Here we go again. 184 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,116 lt's switching on. 185 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,270 I don't know what to do. 186 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,633 I'm scared. Help me. 187 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,400 Do it there. Do it on the armchair. 188 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,074 - How? - You said the bathroom depresses you. 189 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:13,756 - I can't do it in front of you. - I won't look. Just go for it. 190 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:24,070 You are crazy and I am even crazier. 191 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,310 Don't lose concentration. 192 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,231 I'm not! 193 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:32,118 - I can't do it. I just can't. - Let me do it. 194 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,191 - What are you doing? - War is war. 195 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:38,592 - What if your husband comes back? - He's in Cuba. lt's a matter of principle. 196 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,717 - Can I get the container? - Please. 197 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,950 Was it so difficult? 198 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,636 - It fell down. - I can see it. 199 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,518 - Follow me. - Do you think it's a switch? 200 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,512 Just follow me. Don't lose concentration. 201 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,319 - I'm not. - Yes, you are, I can tell. 202 00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,756 I can't open it. I need my strength down there. 203 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:05,590 - Here we are. - Yes, but down here you are not ready. 204 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,520 - What are you doing? - I'm helping myself. 205 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,717 - You hold the container. - OK. 206 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:16,030 - It fell again. - I can see it. 207 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:18,839 - Will you pick it up? - Yes. Excuse me. 208 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:22,037 Here we go. Careful. Now! 209 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:22,518 Come on. We are almost there. 210 00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:27,550 - Yes, I can feel it. - Come on, come on! 211 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,103 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 16162

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