Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:09,585
NICK:
I know it's in here.
2
00:00:09,593 --> 00:00:11,143
This is so stressful.
Okay, okay.
3
00:00:11,136 --> 00:00:13,426
No, no, I gotokay,
let me read one line.
4
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:15,220
Okay.
'Cause this is the best part.
5
00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:16,734
Okay.
6
00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:17,975
"Here was a woman"...
ANNIE: Mmhmm.
7
00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:20,846
"Bound by oath
to care for my health."
8
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,114
Yes.
9
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,855
"Suggesting that
I amputate my stomach
10
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:28,068
in order to fit some
maledriven aesthetic"...
11
00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:29,490
ANNIE: Stop.
"Ideal."
12
00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:30,698
You don't need to read it...
NICK: Gold.
13
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:31,697
Out loud to me.
14
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,198
It's gold.
Thank you.
15
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,330
You tore Dr. Monte Cristo
Monte Cristo?
16
00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:39,538
It's Montevista.
I mean, you nailed her.
17
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:40,620
You think?
NICK: Yeah.
18
00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:41,794
Okay.
19
00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:43,382
You are, like,
very sweet on the outside,
20
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:44,837
but there's
something terrifying
21
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:48,466
No, no, it's bad in here.
I gotI'm up to something.
22
00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:50,505
Whatever you want,
I will do it.
23
00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:54,009
Don'tjust don't hurt me.
I could, though.
24
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:56,272
I'm so scared right now.
[chuckles]
25
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,137
This is why I gotta keep taking
you out to breakfast, I guess.
26
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,232
Yeah.
27
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:01,227
I gotta stay
on your good side.
28
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,558
That's right.
29
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:05,192
One false move,
and you're fucking dead, bitch.
30
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,280
I will not make
a single false move.
31
00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,686
Thank you.
Yeah.
32
00:01:08,694 --> 00:01:10,114
[laughs]
33
00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:12,202
Um, I should go
to work, you know?
34
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,947
I'm, like, gonna be late.
I think I have some cash.
35
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,870
Uh, I got it.
Don't worry about it.
36
00:01:16,868 --> 00:01:19,198
Wow, okay.
37
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,624
Yeah, am I gonna
see you this week?
38
00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:24,503
I mean, I'm around, you know,
39
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:25,921
but don't act like
you're not gonna, like,
40
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,759
text me in an hour.
Okay, you know me.
41
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,875
[laughs]
Bye.
42
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,802
I'll see you later.
43
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,341
[upbeat music]
44
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:36,764
SINGER: ♪ Baby ♪
45
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,273
♪ Mmm ♪
46
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,305
♪ She mean the magic place ♪
47
00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:43,689
♪ ♪
48
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:46,727
♪ I got a real good reason ♪
49
00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:48,152
MAUREEN: Annie!
Whoa.
50
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:51,450
Annie, wow, your article.
I really related to it.
51
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:54,695
My doctor's in his 80s,
and the last time I went in,
52
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:57,618
he diagnosed me with hysteria.
Oh, gosh.
53
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:59,907
Maureen, well,
yeah, I don't know.
54
00:01:59,911 --> 00:02:02,001
I just thought if maybe
I shared my experience,
55
00:02:01,997 --> 00:02:04,287
I could help someone.
Yeah, you really helped me.
56
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,591
I am never going
to the doctor again.
57
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:10,585
Oh, that's not...
what I was trying to say.
58
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:15,434
Excuse me, hello.
Hey, buddy.
59
00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:17,507
Oh, wow,
is this Nick's cover?
60
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:19,392
Yeah, it's good, right?
Oh, yeah.
61
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,389
Wish I could use him
every week.
62
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:24,021
ANNIE: Oh, my God.
63
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,809
What's that?
64
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,152
Well, I'm just
I'm gonna text it to him.
65
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,438
Oh, yeah, you could do that,
66
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:32,031
or you could just show it
to him at breakfast.
67
00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:35,067
Okay, yes, I am having
male breakfasts,
68
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:37,872
but don't look at me like that
'cause it's nothing serious.
69
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,286
Well, that's good because
I think I know somebody
70
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:44,115
who is perfect for you.
Oh, okay, I'm interested.
71
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,462
AMADI: Yeah?
All right.
72
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,457
Well, I was talking
to my buddy Will, all right?
73
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:48,879
I've known him
for a really long time
74
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,917
since high school
he works at the science museum.
75
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:54,261
He is perfect, and I realized
that you two
76
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:55,797
are probably perfect
for one another.
77
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:57,391
Wow, you've said
we're perfect for each other,
78
00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:59,596
like, three times.
That's perfect.
79
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:02,426
Oh, my God, okay,
well, then give him my number
80
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:05,102
and tell him
to text my dumb ass.
81
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:06,312
I will do that.
82
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:10,821
Ooh, God, I'm juggling
a lot of nasty boys.
83
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:13,186
Nasty girl.
Ooh.
84
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:16,073
♪ ♪
85
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,361
I can't believe
I gave that girl
86
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:19,834
the best haircut of her life,
and she repays me
87
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,945
with a turd twice her size.
88
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:24,122
What kind of person
doesn't plunge their own dump?
89
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:25,791
That should be federal law.
FRAN: I know.
90
00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,249
And to think that she
was sitting on this dump
91
00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:28,959
the whole time
I was cutting her hair.
92
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:30,879
Wow, what a sick fuck.
93
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,877
God, I'm so tired of clients
invading my space.
94
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:37,050
I want my home to be my home,
and my work to be my work.
95
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,760
Why don't you get
a job in a salon?
96
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,760
Because I worked
in a salon in college,
97
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,392
and it's just
a lot of towel folding
98
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,679
and backstabbing
between girls named Lauren.
99
00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:48,233
You should check out
this place Shave.
100
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,938
My friend Murray loves it.
101
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:54,228
It's very, like,
queer and collectivey.
102
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,284
Hmm.
103
00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:58,028
That's very helpful
and supportive,
104
00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,489
which feels shady
for some reason,
105
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,949
and I should probably
get therapy for that instinct.
106
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,540
Yes, you should,
and then you should
107
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:04,825
check this place out.
108
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:06,498
Yeah, I think
I have time tomorrow.
109
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:09,576
But if I have to fold
one towel, even a queer towel,
110
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,083
I'm gone.
111
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:13,504
So that's hate speech.
Hi, baby.
112
00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,883
Oh.
How you doing?
113
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,340
[imitates British accent]
And I'm actually good.
114
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,879
And I'm actually really good,
thank you.
115
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,352
Uh, so that's
the new reimbursement policy.
116
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:24,845
Also quick shoutout to Annie's
doctor takedown piece,
117
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:27,228
which is smashing
our traffic records.
118
00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:29,015
[cheers and applause]
119
00:04:29,019 --> 00:04:31,809
Way to go, Annie, whoo!
Oh, yes, wow!
120
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,733
Oh, thank you so much, Annie.
Yeah!
121
00:04:33,732 --> 00:04:36,612
REGGIE: Wow, thank you so much
for breaking Ryan's heart!
122
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,610
Stop it!
Stop what?
123
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,872
Us from protecting our guy?
Never!
124
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:43,575
Okay, do we really need
the distro guys,
125
00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,115
like, at a content meeting?
126
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,998
AMADI: Unfortunately, yes.
127
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:49,245
"The Thorn"
needs content engagement
128
00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,497
now more than ever,
129
00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:51,749
so everyone here
130
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,630
is actually now
a "Thorn" content creator.
131
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:54,957
REGGIE: Yes!
BEAU: [laughs]
132
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,711
I'm a content creator!
133
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,263
Oh, you can do your vlog.
134
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,426
Wait, how is that gonna work?
135
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:02,885
Well, our seasoned writers
are going to tackle
136
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,006
the bigger issues,
and everyone else
137
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:07,563
is going to pitch stuff
to pad out the blog.
138
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:09,597
Can we do
"Top Ten Angels to Pray To?"
139
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,101
Yeah, that sounds good.
140
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,692
Oh, you guys are gonna love
my political cartoons.
141
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:16,438
It's like "Doonesbury"
but a porno.
142
00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,611
REGGIE: That's literally
I told you that idea.
143
00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:20,950
Yeah,
but you didn't put it on paper.
144
00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:22,196
Ah!
145
00:05:22,197 --> 00:05:23,947
Okay, okay, guys,
save those pitch ideas
146
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:26,079
for next week,
which is Brain Cabin.
147
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,286
REGGIE: Oh, I'm gonna
go to Brain Cabin,
148
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,825
get my brain sucked out
by the CIA.
149
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,079
Why would I do that?
Yeah, no thank you.
150
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,250
Why would I do that?
151
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,248
Actually, Brain Cabin
is a lot of fun.
152
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,540
It's, like,
our annual camping trip
153
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:36,803
where we get to pitch new ideas
for issues, so...
154
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:39,205
Last year,
Gabe paid for a s'mores cart
155
00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:42,434
that burned Angus so bad
he had to go to the hospital.
156
00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:46,221
It wasn't so bad.
157
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,601
Oh, Annie, you got a call
in my office
158
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:51,888
from a certain Dr. Montevista.
159
00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:54,943
REGGIE: Ooh!
BEAU: Ooh!
160
00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:57,518
The principal of
the newspaper wants to see you.
161
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,034
Ooh!
Ooh.
162
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,435
Have fun in detention.
Yeah.
163
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:04,364
MONTEVISTA: I got a review
calling me "Dr. Dumbshit"
164
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,954
just for doing my job.
165
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:10,410
Look, you know,
it's not my responsibility
166
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:14,332
to teach you how to treat
fat people with dignity, so...
167
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,172
MONTEVISTA: Well,
that's why I'm calling.
168
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,997
My practice
will be implementing
169
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:20,013
a health
at every size approach.
170
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:24,625
Wow, wow, that's amazing.
Thank you.
171
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:27,854
MONTEVISTA: So you'll take
down the slanderous article?
172
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,136
Uh
173
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:30,679
Oh, that goes against
everything we believe in.
174
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,812
If you have a problem
with that, talk to our lawyer.
175
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,809
Thank you and fuck you.
176
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,271
Triumph!
Wow.
177
00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:39,521
"The Thorn," "The Thorn"
changes the healthcare system.
178
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,864
God, doctors
are just drug dealers
179
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:44,490
with their finger
up your ass, aren't they?
180
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:47,817
Yeah, yeah,
thanks for having my back.
181
00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,334
Well...
182
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,446
not that you
do the same for me.
183
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:55,247
Gabe, what's going on?
I thought we were good.
184
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,708
Well, we were good
until you sold me out to Sheila
185
00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:00,129
at that ladies
who talk shit lunch.
186
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,458
I really didn't.
187
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,803
All I said was
that Amadi is great.
188
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:06,338
Yeah, Amadi's great,
she's awesome, and you're fun.
189
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:07,843
Whatever, okay?
190
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,684
You know, I'm busy
with my memoir here.
191
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,809
Too busy to give a shit.
192
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,676
What do you think
of this title,
193
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:15,103
"King of Queens."
194
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:20,065
Like the TV show?
195
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,605
What is that?
196
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,275
RYAN: Hey, Annie.
197
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,741
Ryan, no,
we're not gonna talk.
198
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:33,582
Okay, totally.
BEAU: Dude, what?
199
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:36,118
She's acting like
you don't even exist, man.
200
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,372
REGGIE: You know what?
201
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,634
One of us gets hurt,
okay, all of us get hurt.
202
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:40,996
Listen, attention, everybody!
203
00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:44,172
Attention, there is
a workplace safety issue!
204
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:48,222
Annie is basically
a praying mantis
205
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:50,718
where she eats
she cuts the guy's head off
206
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,600
after sex and eats the body!
207
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:54,427
Okay, just stop.
Yeah, Reggie.
208
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:56,602
Can you get off the table?
REGGIE: Okay, just stop.
209
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,271
Get off the table.
You know what?
210
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:01,309
This is for Ryan!
[screams]
211
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,534
BEAU: [screams]
Oh, my God!
212
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,646
That's right!
Oregon, baby!
213
00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,413
Best state in the nation!
214
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:11,775
We got a coast, and I can be
in Canada in 15 minutes!
215
00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:14,373
That's right!
Fuck you, Annie!
216
00:08:14,369 --> 00:08:15,659
BEAU: Whoo!
217
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,416
RYAN: Annie!
218
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,750
Jesus.
219
00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:26,917
I'm sorry.
220
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,263
I know you don't want
to talk to me.
221
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,178
Yeah, well, did you tell them
to scream at me
222
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,506
in front of everyone?
223
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,141
I mean,
that's fully harassment.
224
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:36,018
No, I didn't.
They just did that.
225
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:37,925
They're very protective.
I'm sorry.
226
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,024
Okay, well,
it's very embarrassing
227
00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,729
and shitty, and you need
to do something about it.
228
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,191
So you get
to tell me what to do,
229
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,610
but I don't even get
to talk to you?
230
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,438
Is that it?
Yes, that's it.
231
00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:49,654
That's a breakup.
Annie, I don't get it.
232
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:53,624
Like, how do you go from
talking all day, every day
233
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,286
to just nothing?
234
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:57,745
Because I'm trying
to put, like, a separation
235
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,326
between us, okay?
236
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,460
And just because
we work together
237
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,248
doesn't mean that we need
to see each other.
238
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:05,131
You guys work
in the loading dock.
239
00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:09,048
I mean, Reggie says that
the dock is, like, his office
240
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,089
and he needs privacy.
241
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:13,262
I think he's
just jacking off in there.
242
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:19,268
Look, I'll talk to them.
Okay, thank you.
243
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,187
RYAN: Yeah.
244
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,436
Did you get a car?
245
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:25,898
I actually
borrowed my mom's car
246
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,529
so I could park near you.
247
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:31,445
Okay, well,
you can tell your mom
248
00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:34,026
that she can have her car back.
249
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,832
I'm actually thinking
about buying it,
250
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,655
so it'll be my car.
251
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:40,370
But I get your point.
Okay.
252
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:41,371
Boundaries.
253
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,170
I don't think it's here,
so I'll come back
254
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:47,879
and check in a couple days
when I, like, come
255
00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:49,799
to water the plants and stuff.
256
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:51,878
Oh, honey, don't overwater
my burro's tail.
257
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:54,183
I can see behind you.
258
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,347
It looks in distress.
259
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:57,345
No, it doesn't, okay?
260
00:09:57,347 --> 00:10:00,177
Just don't worry.
Have fun.
261
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:02,603
Are you still
enjoying the road trip?
262
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,812
Are you the queen of RV life?
263
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,023
Loving it.
264
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:08,692
This trip
is our retirement dream.
265
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:12,031
Um, how's dad doing?
Okay?
266
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:16,568
Greatafter all that time
spent in doctor's offices,
267
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:19,874
it's just so great
that your dad is cancer free.
268
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,749
And we can go
on adventures again.
269
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,826
I know.
I know.
270
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:26,172
Um, well,
when are you coming back?
271
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,457
VERA: Whenever we
fucking feel like it.
272
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,511
[chuckles]
Okay, got it.
273
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:33,715
Well, I got it under control,
so do your thing.
274
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:35,506
Explore, y'all.
275
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:37,180
[chuckles]
You deserve it.
276
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:39,758
Um, say hi to Dad for me, okay?
Bye.
277
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,104
VERA: Bye.
278
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:44,099
[upbeat music]
279
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:49,982
♪ ♪
280
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,823
So as you can see,
I've also done styling
281
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,988
for photoshoots as well.
Right, yeah, yeah.
282
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,277
No, that's perfect.
283
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,120
Wesometimes we rent out
the space to ad agencies,
284
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,825
and we love to offer
our own stylists.
285
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,365
Oh, my God,
I would love that.
286
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,248
So we have
seven stylists here,
287
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:03,905
and they all contribute 10%
to rent
288
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,873
because we're a collective.
This is great.
289
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:07,754
Honestly, my dream place
to work.
290
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:08,790
Well, now
it's not just a dream.
291
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:11,253
It's a reality.
Oh, thank you.
292
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:12,714
RICOCHET:
There's only two rules.
293
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,384
One, don't be an asshole,
and two, be vegan.
294
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:18,053
Are you vegan?
No.
295
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,274
That's okay.
296
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,475
Just don't do any, um, uh...
297
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,185
God, what do they call it?
298
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,556
Um, you know
what I'm talking about.
299
00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:31,113
It's something insane.
It's something insane.
300
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,777
It's likeoh, my God.
301
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,235
Barbecuing, don't do
any barbecuing here, okay?
302
00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:39,318
No barbecuing within
the confines of the salon.
303
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:42,204
Absolutely, got it.
RICOCHET: Great.
304
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,122
Oh, um...
305
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,251
Oh.
306
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,550
It'll be okay.
307
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,756
FRAN: Thank you.
308
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,428
Amazing, thanks!
See you next week.
309
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:01,928
VOCALIST:
♪ Stack, stack, stack it up ♪
310
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:02,930
PEDESTRIAN: Watch out!
311
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:03,931
[tires screech]
312
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:04,932
[metal clatters loudly]
313
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,353
Oh, my God!
314
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,188
♪ ♪
315
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:10,897
AMADI: Yes, just call me
and, like,
316
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:13,517
tell me how things went
unless it goes really late.
317
00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:15,404
Then just have fun and try
not to think about me.
318
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:16,741
[chuckles]
Okay.
319
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,106
See, now you're
making me nervous.
320
00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:19,702
Can't you just give me
his last name so I can,
321
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,487
like, Google him or something?
322
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:24,291
No, it's more romantic if you
do it the oldfashioned way.
323
00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,245
Yeah, I guess that's true.
324
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,456
[phone chimes]
325
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:31,125
Oh, shit, I think
he's texting me right now.
326
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:32,415
Yeah, he is.
327
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,748
He's asking, "Would you
like me to pick you up?"
328
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:35,964
[chuckles]
329
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:38,424
Okay, see, that's
classic Will right there.
330
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,224
Very gentlemanly.
Yeah, okay.
331
00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:43,008
Well, I'm gonna go now, okay?
Bye.
332
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,222
AMADI: Okay, have fun.
333
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:45,682
[CHAI's "Donuts Mind If I Do"]
334
00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:47,932
CHAI: ♪ With something
sometime, somehow ♪
335
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,274
♪ Love for ♪
336
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:52,189
[singing in Japanese]
337
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,858
♪ That's all I really need ♪
338
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,186
♪ Love for ♪
339
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,941
♪ Everybody fall
in love with something ♪
340
00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,654
♪ Sometime, somehow ♪
341
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,364
♪ Love for ♪
342
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:04,124
It's a sign.
It's a sign.
343
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,827
Just as I was
leaving the salon,
344
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,867
I saw a man get hit by a car.
345
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,460
Oh, my God, was he okay?
346
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,535
Yeah, I think so,
but the thing is
347
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:14,171
is that it's a sign
that that's where I need to be.
348
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:17,418
I start next week.
Babe, I am so happy for you.
349
00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,422
There's more.
350
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:21,094
The guy who was driving
the car that hit the bike
351
00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:23,762
was some city councilman,
so I got interviewed
352
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,971
by the Portland 16 News
as an eyewitness.
353
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,562
Portland 16?
FRAN: Yeah.
354
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:28,887
They put the news
in neighborhood.
355
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,231
Yeah.
356
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:31,686
This is the best thing
that's ever happened to us.
357
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:34,856
Wait, what is?
Excuse me.
358
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:38,026
This is our home,
not some kind of photoshoot
359
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:39,776
for cute models.
360
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:43,197
Look, I don't know
what you're talking about.
361
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:45,907
I'm sorry to interrupt,
but Fran is going to be
362
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,908
on Portland 16 at 10:00.
What?
363
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,080
Oh, my God.
364
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:50,498
Yeah, so we need
to call everyone we know
365
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,786
and get them to come over
and watch me
366
00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:53,709
become a huge celebrity.
ANNIE: Shit.
367
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:56,338
I have this blind date now.
368
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,625
Maybe I could just bail?
369
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,169
I mean, you know Nick
370
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,013
is truly my number one
potential boyfriend,
371
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,338
and I don't want
to cheat on him
372
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:04,842
with another
potential boyfriend.
373
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,554
No, no,
you're not going to bail.
374
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,354
You're just going to come late.
375
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:10,767
We're doing a little dude
tasting pot thing here.
376
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:14,057
Everything is cooking.
Get your mise en place on.
377
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:15,192
You're right.
378
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:16,858
I gotta taste
all the little man pots.
379
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,316
I eat men.
380
00:14:18,316 --> 00:14:19,856
I eat men.
381
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,029
Sounds gross.
382
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,398
And I eat you too.
383
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,704
Ah, come on.
384
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:33,043
Hi, I'm meeting someone here.
385
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:35,669
I think the reservation
is under Will.
386
00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:37,836
Oh, yeah,
he's right over there.
387
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,627
Of course.
388
00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:47,547
[sighs]
389
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,850
Annie, hi.
Hi.
390
00:14:54,852 --> 00:14:56,562
Hi, wow,
it's so great to meet
391
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,442
oh, oh!
My God.
392
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,650
I'm sorry about that.
Please take a napkin.
393
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:05,112
Hi, nice to meet you.
394
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,993
I'm really sorry.
It's all right.
395
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:09,279
I belong in a cave,
I really do.
396
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:12,333
Uh, sorry.
Please keep this.
397
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,708
Shall we sit?
Mmhmm.
398
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:16,165
Yeah.
WILL: Yeah, okay.
399
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:17,415
Man.
400
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,213
Sorry again about that.
401
00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:23,666
Well, this has been great.
402
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,763
Should we go back to my place?
403
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:28,343
[chuckles softly]
404
00:15:31,722 --> 00:15:34,732
[soft piano music]
405
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,351
Um...
406
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:43,693
Are you all dry now?
407
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:45,493
Not really.
408
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:46,816
I think it mostly ended up
409
00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:48,741
[quietly]
on those people.
410
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,069
Thankfully.
411
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:53,704
No, good aim.
WILL: Yeah.
412
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:55,453
Yeah, um...
413
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:58,826
Well...
414
00:15:58,833 --> 00:16:02,383
you work at the Museum
of Science and Industry, right?
415
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,378
Right, yeah, although
that makes me sound
416
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:05,510
like a scientist or something.
417
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,506
I coordinate
the kids camps there.
418
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,838
Cool.
WILL: Yeah, it's great.
419
00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:11,184
If anything goes wrong,
420
00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,719
we put their handprints
in paint,
421
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,722
call it science.
Smart.
422
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,354
WILL: Yeah.
[chuckles]
423
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:20,190
So you and Amadi must
know each other pretty well?
424
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:23,228
Mmm, yeah, I guess.
425
00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:25,402
Um...
426
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:28,281
Yeah, why do you think
he set us up?
427
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,822
That's a good question, wow.
428
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:35,544
Um, probably because
you're very pretty and cool,
429
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,366
and I'm divorced.
430
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,498
I don't know if Amadi told you
431
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,669
if I'm
that I'm divorced, actually.
432
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,708
No, he didn't really tell me
433
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,133
anything about you at all...
434
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:52,007
Other than that we
would be perfect together.
435
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,011
Awesome.
436
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:57,055
I'm sure it's pretty obvious
this is my first date
437
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:59,188
now as a single person,
and I promised
438
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,595
I wouldn't tell you that,
but I have,
439
00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:03,523
and now I can see that it
freaks you out a little bit.
440
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:08,822
No, no, II think
I'm just distracted.
441
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:11,159
That's okay.
I'm nervous too.
442
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:12,155
Oh.
443
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:14,914
Should we get dinner?
444
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:16,989
I read they have
a great burger here.
445
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:20,254
II actually think
I probably only have time
446
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:22,998
for one drink.
Really, yeah?
447
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,000
Okay.
448
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,919
Actually, could you
excuse me for a minute?
449
00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:31,183
I think I'm
just gonna step away.
450
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,885
Sure, yeah.
I'll be right back.
451
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,296
I'll see you soon.
452
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:41,063
[sighs]
453
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,085
I'm back.
[chuckles]
454
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,642
WILL: Yeah.
455
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:17,853
Well, I didn't know
you'd miss me so much
456
00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:19,847
you'd text me
from the bathroom.
457
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,059
What?
458
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:27,190
"On truly the worst date
of my life."
459
00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:32,650
I mean, I knew
I wasn't killing it.
460
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:34,783
I didn't know
I was doing that bad.
461
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:39,080
Oh, my God,
Will, I'm so sorry.
462
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:43,616
I obviously didn't mean
for you to see that, and
463
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:44,873
Yeah.
464
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:47,254
ANNIE: It's not your fault
at all, at all.
465
00:18:47,251 --> 00:18:49,461
I think Amadi
didn't actually think
466
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,672
about, like,
what we were looking for.
467
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:54,722
He just sort of
lumped us together
468
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:57,257
because we're both...
469
00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,471
We're both what?
470
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:04,272
I mean, we don't need to get
into it, like, right now.
471
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:05,558
You know?
472
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:09,691
So maybemaybe we
should just call it a night.
473
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:12,780
Okay, let's call it a night.
474
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,817
Um, on the bright side,
475
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:18,950
it's actually the best date
of my life, so thank you.
476
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,369
Really?
477
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:23,873
No.
478
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:29,708
Yeah, sorry, I don't know.
479
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,750
Hello.
480
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:33,594
Done already?
How was it?
481
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:34,799
Yeah, it sucked.
482
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:37,299
I mean, what,
Will's fat and I'm fat,
483
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:38,801
so we're perfect
for each other?
484
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,553
That is so fucked, Amadi.
485
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:42,564
Wait, holdAnnie, no.
486
00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:45,226
Um, hey, Zauna,
can you go to bed,
487
00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:47,096
and I'll finish your homework
when you're asleep?
488
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:51,515
Hey, I'm sorry.
What?
489
00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,194
You think that I only
set you up because you're fat?
490
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:56,703
Yes, and he knew it,
and I knew it,
491
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,566
and it hung over
the whole thing,
492
00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:01,332
and it was bad for both of us.
493
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:05,252
Look, I'm sorry you think
494
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,656
that something weird
is going on,
495
00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:08,294
but I set you up with Will
496
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:10,330
because he's
a genuinely good guy.
497
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:13,094
Okay, whatever.
I'll see you at work.
498
00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:14,627
[soft dramatic music]
499
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,720
REPORTER: Oregon ranks
as one of the highest states
500
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,046
in the nation for opioid
and narcotic addiction.
501
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,851
I mean,
shut up about opioids.
502
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:22,385
Where's my moment?
503
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,348
REPORTER: Cause major
health and economic...
504
00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:26,518
Wow.
Just be still.
505
00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,057
Okay.
506
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:31,900
She looks like the meanest girl
at a child's beauty pageant.
507
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,477
[chuckles]
508
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,572
I'm sorry your date
went so bad.
509
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:39,068
It's fine.
Honestly, I don't care.
510
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:42,911
I'm glad it's over,
and now I invited over
511
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:45,698
the skirt biter.
Okay, sauce pot.
512
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,583
I'm trying to sauce so hard.
[laughs]
513
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,461
Well, tell him
to get here soon
514
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:52,628
'cause he might not be able
to get past the paparazzi.
515
00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:54,036
That she called herself.
516
00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:55,054
[laughter]
517
00:20:55,045 --> 00:20:56,625
Oh, I know.
518
00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,300
REPORTER: A fender bender
really got wheels turning...
519
00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,719
Okay, this is it!
Everyone, shut up!
520
00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:00,797
REPORTER:
Portland City Councilman
521
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:02,681
Charles Klein's vehicle
collided
522
00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:05,308
with a bespoke
cycling enthusiast.
523
00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:06,846
Now, the cyclist
whose social media
524
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:09,309
describes him
as a pennyfarthing dandy
525
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:10,520
and man about town...
Hi.
526
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,859
Hey, what's up?
Nothing.
527
00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:15,895
You made it just in time.
Oh, good.
528
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,650
You look great.
529
00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:19,401
No.
[chuckles]
530
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,413
REPORTER: Sounds like
there was a bit
531
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:24,065
of a surprising collision
for Charles Klein.
532
00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:25,994
Oh, my God, that's Fran.
Shut up!
533
00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:27,333
Fran!
Shut up.
534
00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:29,288
Ma'am, you were a witness
to the accident.
535
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:32,038
Sounds like it was
pretty crazy, huh?
536
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:34,381
Yeah, it was.
537
00:21:37,338 --> 00:21:40,008
HOST: Thanks so much
for that excellent reporting.
538
00:21:40,007 --> 00:21:42,337
Whoa!
539
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:44,353
[cheers and applause]
540
00:21:44,345 --> 00:21:46,255
Yeah, it was!
541
00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:48,223
[all chanting]
Yeah, it was!
542
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:49,814
Yeah, it was!
543
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:53,099
Yeah, it was!
Yeah, it was!
544
00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:55,773
[Chika's "CROWN"]
545
00:21:55,773 --> 00:21:57,113
[chanting together]
Yeah, it was!
546
00:21:57,107 --> 00:21:58,437
Yeah, it was!
547
00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:00,822
Yeah, it was!
Yeah, it was!
548
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:02,150
Yeah, it was!
549
00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:04,624
Yeah, it was!
Yeah, it was!
550
00:22:04,615 --> 00:22:05,825
Yeah, it was!
551
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:08,195
Yeah, it was!
Yeah, it was!
552
00:22:08,202 --> 00:22:10,122
Yeah, it was!
Yeah, it was!
553
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:11,580
Yeah, it was!
554
00:22:11,580 --> 00:22:13,460
RAPPER: ♪ They think
I'm just passionate ♪
555
00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:14,877
♪ Tryna steer the way
while in the dark ♪
556
00:22:14,875 --> 00:22:16,285
♪ Hope I ain't crashin' it ♪
557
00:22:16,293 --> 00:22:18,093
♪ Now my little hobby
turned to cashin' out ♪
558
00:22:18,087 --> 00:22:20,207
♪ Thinking 'bout who I'd be
if I listened to doubt ♪
559
00:22:20,214 --> 00:22:21,924
♪ Said I'd never do it,
well look at me now ♪
560
00:22:21,924 --> 00:22:24,764
♪ Young girl, old dream
old soul, oh dear ♪
561
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,300
♪ Plan B, plan well
good luck, no fear ♪
562
00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:29,724
♪ Just wait and God will tell
you when the time's near ♪
563
00:22:29,723 --> 00:22:31,563
♪ But if I never jump
then I die here ♪
564
00:22:31,559 --> 00:22:34,059
♪ They don't ride
'til you pick up speed ♪
565
00:22:34,061 --> 00:22:36,611
♪ They think college is
all you need ♪
566
00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:38,765
♪ And I don't blame your
brainwashin' on you, G ♪
567
00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:41,324
♪ It took me nineteen years
to finally start to believe ♪
568
00:22:41,318 --> 00:22:42,858
♪ And that's me, listen ♪
569
00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:45,112
SINGERS: ♪ I'ma make it
in the rain or shine ♪
570
00:22:45,114 --> 00:22:47,454
♪ All about my money,
don't waste my time ♪
571
00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:50,239
♪ Ain't nobody
gonna bring me down ♪
572
00:22:50,244 --> 00:22:52,754
♪ ♪
573
00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:55,206
♪ I'm on an elevator ♪
574
00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:57,787
♪ I'm on to
something greater ♪
575
00:22:57,793 --> 00:23:00,383
♪ God is always blessin' me ♪
576
00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,589
♪ Tears could fill
the Chesapeake ♪
41199
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.