All language subtitles for Grijs E14

It's a natural
progression in any profession

for the student to become the teacher,

the mentee to become the mentor.

It's not that much different
from parenting.

I'm your son.

We learn from our ancestors
how to make the perfect soup.

How to soothe an aching head or heart.

Your call has been forwarded

to an automated voice messaging system.

We measure milestones and percentiles

and first steps...

... to try and gain insight into
the person they'll grow into.

Hello?

Tate, you're early.

I've just started packing lunches.

As if knowing
a bunch of numbers on charts

is any true measure of what
we might make of ourselves.

Jackson.

Hey, Dad.

Alright.

I know it seems, like,
impulsive and out of nowhere,

but it's not... It's just, uh...

uh, fast.

But it's not, like...

impulsive, impulsive.

It's...

I thought it through. It's just
I thought it through...

Oh!

Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com

Everybody alive?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's not...

Not why I'm here.

I thought you were Tate.

He delivers meals for me to people
in the community that need them.

Okay. Not Tate.

Well, come on in. Take a load off.

I tested clean yesterday
and haven't seen anyone.

I haven't seen anyone, either.

I just made a fresh pot of coffee.

- Want some?
- I'm good.

How have you been?

I've been thinking a lot
about you lately,

what with everything going on
in the world.

I was gonna call,

but the way we left things last time,

I figured you did not want
to talk to me.

And I didn't want to be
one of those added things

on top of the pandemic to deal with.

How have you been?

How's your little girl?

She must be, what...

She's 3 1/2 years old.
Her name is Harriet.

Right.

Look, I didn't travel all this way

to just catch up, so, um...

I need... answers.

Well, I've got about 150 lunches
to put together,

so if we're gonna talk,

why don't you grab a pair
of gloves over here with me

and, uh...

help me out?

Oh, my God, it's your night.

It's... Wait... It's your night?

How can it be your night with Harriet?

She's not packed,
she's not ready, she's sick,

and I have a calendar.
It's okay, no, no, it's not...

- It's not my night.
- No?

Alright? April, hey.

- It's not?
- No, no, no, it's alright.

- Okay.
- Just take a breath.

What's going on? What's wrong?

She has a temp of 102,
and... and she's coughing...

- ... and she has no appetite.
- Come here.

But I-I took a rapid test...
It's not COVID.

Come here, munchkin.
Come here. That's good.

- Hey. Why didn't you call me?
- I don't know what it is.

Whooping cough or RSV or rickets?

- It's not rickets.
- People get rickets, Jackson.

And... And Matthew
just went out East with Ruby

to see his sister,

and the power keeps going on and off,

and I know, I am a doctor,

I need to take a deep breath
and I should be cool,

- but I am...
- You're not being cool right now.

You're not even breathing,

- okay? Go ahead.
- Oh, God.

She's been sick before, obviously,

but, like, COVID just makes
everything feel so... big.

And I know I need to calm down,

but no one
in the history of calming down

has ever calmed down
by being told to calm down,

I'm not gonna tell you
to calm down, alright?

I'm not telling you to calm
down, I promise. I just...

Why don't you let me
in the house, maybe?

- Yeah, yes, okay. Just... sorry.
- Okay?

- Come in.
- Hey, sweetheart.

I can't tell you how long it took me

to come up with this nifty system.

First, we start with a bunch of these,

what I've coined the brawn bundle.

Here's how we do it...
Two pieces of smoked ham,

one slice of honey turkey,
and provolone.

Are you serious with all this?

Roll it up, and once you have
your ingredients set,

you move down here to the bread.

You won't believe
how much time that saves.

Try a piece.

Look, I'll make
the damn sandwiches with you

in order to... It's fine.

Okay? But I don't need to taste anything

or have any food or coffee.

Just... I don't need anything
from you, honestly.

I just need answers.

Okay.

Answers?

Mom said something to me

that I cannot get out of my head.

Yeah, she has a talent for that.

She said, for the first time ever,

that I sounded like you.

Did you piss her off?

I said I can't really see change

coming from inside the foundation.

- There's too much bureaucracy.
- Well, to be honest,

I haven't thought about
the foundation in a long time.

Yeah, but what do you think
she meant by that?

Years ago, I learned

to never put words
in your mother's mouth.

If you had to guess.

I've never been one
for the establishment.

I always thought
the whole system is rigged.

So, how we doing over there?

You know, I don't think

ham-and-turkey sandwiches
get enough credit.

They're simple,
but they get the job done.

So I said that
the whole system's just broken,

needs to be thrown out and rebuilt,

understanding that
that's damn near impossible

considering how many people
benefit from it

the way it is right now.

That does sound a little like me.

You look like you could use
some more turkey.

Ever use a commercial meat slicer?

- When would I have done that?
- Summer job?

Anyway, it reminds me of the O.R.,

without the pressure
of possibly killing someone.

Come on, let me show you.

Yeah, I can figure it out, thank you.

Okay.

You might want to...

You might want to turn it on first.

Yeah, right.

Just, what is it?

- Here, let me show you.
- Okay.

First of all, you gotta lift this.

Here's your gauge for how thick

you want to make the slice of meat.

Okay. Got it. Thank you.

- The carriage goes back and forth.
- Great.

I got it.

Kinda relaxing when you get
a rhythm going, huh?

So... you're saying you wanted change,

but what?

You felt powerless
'cause you were an Avery or... ?

As you know,

the Avery name carries
a great deal of influence,

but it also carries...

a great deal of baggage.

That amount of money

can become a burden pretty quickly.

Everybody knows you have it, so...

they expect you to be responsible

to fix everything with it.

And there's almost no one in your shoes,

so almost no one seems to get it.

At least not when I said it.

Certainly not
when the name is synonymous

with just the worst behavior imaginable.

Well, not here it's not.

Here, nobody knows who my father was

or that I come from money.

Out here, they just think

I'm Robert who runs the diner.

God.

Uh, Matthew's been working a lot.

I mean, I've been working a lot.

Yeah, don't worry about it.
My place is, uh...

Please don't do that.

Don't be all weird-nice
with your voice an octave higher

like you do with people
at hotels or at the bank.

I have a weird bank voice now?

It's making you nuts.

You... You can say it.

Just mess everywhere.

Pillows all over the place.

I maintain that throw pillows

are useless and stupid, yeah.

How long has my munchkin been sick?

Couple days.

She just hasn't wanted to do anything,

just lie on me.

Also, she needs a bath.
She smells like feet.

Well, I hate to break it
to you... that's you.

- No, it's not.
- 100 percent you.

- Oh, God. That is me.
- Yeah.

Go take a shower.

Jackson, I...

April, go take a shower, please.

- Hey, Jackson.
- Mm-hmm?

I'm calming down.

- See?
- I am. I am.

- 10 minutes.
- 10 minutes.

She ever taken
a 10-minute shower in her life?

I don't think so.

Some tunes? Good idea.

Let's see what she's got.

We got this, right?

We got this, baby.

We got this.

You're gonna feel better in no time.

Harriet and Dad.

We got this.

Oh, come on!

Or maybe we don't.

♪ Looking like a fisherman ♪

♪ I'm dropping a line in the sea ♪

I gotta give it to you...
That's some good turkey.

Best in the state.

Yeah, I'll take your word for it.

♪ Hoping that the graying skies ♪

So, what'd your dad think

when you decided
to walk away from it all?

At first,
he thought it was just a phase.

But then when he realized I was serious,

he stopped speaking to me.

Completely?

He said I was selfish, compulsive, lazy,

a stain on the family name.

Which I now see is such a complete joke.

No, he was never interested
in talking to me,

unless it was about the hospital image

or profits or expansion.

If I have to have one more conversation

about cutting hospital costs, I swear...

Someone's got to do it.

I just knew it wasn't gonna be me.

I was never gonna be
the son my father wanted

because I didn't want to be
the man the role required.

That's why you're here.

Why's that?

Because...

you're ready to leave it all behind.

Why does anyone have
an electric water heater?

A power outage is when
you need hot water the most.

Well, Harriet cried herself to sleep.

I propped her head up
to help with the coughing.

Okay, thank you.

And I found a flashlight
and a few candles,

but I can't find any
damn matches in this place.

Oh, yeah, well, I'm married
to a first responder.

The matches are in a drawer
even I've never found.

Alright. Well, then, stove it is.

Geez.

Can you get some more candles?

What?

Oh, crap! Sorry.

This is a nun.

- I just grabbed the, uh...
- The first nun you could find?

Saying I'm going to hell?

- Since when do you believe in hell?
- True.

But they're your candles,
so you're going to hell.

Okay.

- Alright, just give me this.
- Yeah, grab that.

Her fever's at 102,

so you might be right about RSV.

Okay.

So we just give her acetaminophen

and wait it out
unless she gets short of breath?

Versus driving in a blackout
to Grey-Sloan in a pandemic?

Yeah, we're not going anywhere.

The risk of exposure alone...

We don't need doctors, April.
We are doctors.

And if she gets worse...

Which she probably won't.

Exactly.

Yeah.

How's Meredith doing?

I've been praying for her.

- Oh, she's, uh... She's awake.
- Yeah?

And she's getting better
every day, stronger.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

So, tonight wasn't your night.

Yes. As usual,
your calendar is impeccable.

Well done.

No, I'm just saying, uh, tonight...

Tonight wasn't your night,
so why are you...

How have I never been to your place?

I feel like I guess
we must always do drop-offs

at mine or work.

It's... It's nice. It looks really nice.

- I like what you've done.
- Jackson...

You guys are happy,
you and... you and Matthew?

We're busy, like everyone else.

And Harriet and you and him and Ruby,

the same house, it's going...

Exposed brick is... is cool.
I know you've always liked...

Do you really think I can't tell
when you're being cagey?

- I'm not being cagey.
- Am I happy?

Exposed brick? Would you just
talk like a person?

I went to see my dad again.

Oh, God. Is he sick?

No, he's the same as always.

Obliviously medium happy about
his obliviously medium life.

I thought you never
wanted to see him again.

I didn't.

I needed to know if I was right
about what I...

what I wanted.

And we're back to being cagey.

I'm not trying to be cagey, April.

He couldn't handle it.

Okay?

He couldn't step up
or step into his own,

and I can.

I want to take over the foundation.

Is this the, uh, coffee you showed me

last time I was here?

We sold out of our first batch.

The local paper wrote us up,

so we decided to add four more roasts.

I was gonna branch out
into other parts of the state,

and then, ah, COVID.

Yeah, I remember.
You guys got hit pretty hard.

Hospital was turning people away, right?

It was a lot.

I did everything I could

to keep this place open after COVID hit.

But then I ended up just bagging up food

for the regulars.

Word spread,

and every morning, I come in here

and crank up the Doobie Brothers,

start packing lunches.

It was weirdly therapeutic.

Kept my mind occupied.

Well...

you got quite the bubble out here.

Built a very different life
for yourself.

We're all raised to think

that's some kind of wild concept.

But what's wild
is going to work every day

doing something you do not like,

thinking one day,
it'll just magically stop.

Yeah.

I just feel stuck.

Hmm.

Like there's two of me.
Like there's this...

This successful surgeon
that I worked so hard to become,

was trying to push the foundation

to be more progressive.

And also just the guy

that didn't ask
for any of this, you know?

I'm worried that maybe it's too late...

The system's beyond repair.

Maybe I could be effective
from the outside.

Or maybe you could let go of the idea

that it's your job to save the world.

You know, there's nothing wrong

with wanting to keep things simpler.

Yeah, I think about that a lot.

Actually, I think, you know,

I could get a small place in the woods,

maybe open a private practice,

do things I really care about.

Explore the great outdoors with Harriet.

We all deserve to live our lives
however we want.

Sure, yeah.

You are an older white guy
who's always had money, so...

If nothing changes in the world,

you're still gonna be fine,
but I... I hear you.

You given any thought to what if?

What if I didn't come back here?

What if you chose differently, yeah.

Well, I'm more of a, hmm...

"never look back" type.

Right, yeah.

Yeah, um...

When I was here last time,
I wanted to ask you why,

and I... I didn't... I couldn't...

I guess I used to say I was over it,

but I'm not.

I need to know why you left.

'Cause, um...

... I realize that
it's really messed me up...

pretty badly.

And, um...

It just made it hard to, like,

maintain relationships and stuff.

Having this inclination
to run away all the time.

And I know, I know...

Running away
doesn't actually solve anything.

I know that.

So... And I've tried.

I've tried really hard
to rid myself of the shame

and the pain that comes with
all that, and, uh...

You know, just kind of doubled-down

on being the best at everything...

The best father I could possibly be.

I probably stayed in my marriage
longer than I should have,

went along with foundation business

longer than I should have,

but no matter what, when it gets rough,

I just end up... right there,

running, into the woods.

Try to fight the you in me.

Can you not just sit there looking
at me? Can you say something?

Pretend that I'm worth talking to?

I don't know how you can just
say nothing all the... Ow!

God! Aah! Damn it!

God!

Oh, man. You alright?

No, I'm not alright!
Give it... I got it!

Pressure, pressure, pressure.

Okay.

Temp's down to 101.

It's just a bad dream.

- Oh, yeah? How's her breathing?
- It's better.

- Oh, good, alright.
- Yeah.

- So we could be out of the woods.
- Yeah.

So, were you hoping

- Matthew wasn't gonna be here tonight?
- What?

No, I don't have a problem with Matthew.

- Really?
- What?

Whenever you guys
are in the same room together,

you say one of three things...

"Yup," "Sure," "Not a problem."

Well, okay, yeah.

We're not best friends,
but, I mean, it's civil.

He seems like a fine guy.

- He seems, uh, kind.
- Kind?

I don't have a bad word
to say about him.

That... That's something.

So then why did you want to
come tell me this in person?

You're considering
running the foundation.

What's that got to do with me?

That's the thing...

I'm not just considering it.

I'm doing it.

Running the foundation means
I got to move to Boston.

W... Without Harriet?

No. God, no.

I'm moving to Boston,

and I really need you all to come.

The foundation will employ
you and Matthew.

You'll be set.

You can do whatever you want

in terms of an outreach program
or design or build.

Anything you want to do, we'll fund it.

I would never leave Harriet.

I could never, ever leave Harriet,

which means I really
need you all to come with me.

Please.

Doesn't look like there are
any tendon injuries.

Yeah, the cut's not that deep.

Okay.

Another wash, then let's glue it.

I can handle it from here.

Actually, just hand me the glue.

Okay.

Ow.

Just give me your hand.

- Come on, man. Let me do this.
- Okay.

I may not have practiced in a while,

but it is like riding a bike.

Not exactly, but okay.

Hold it together.

- See?
- Alright.

That is not bad.

Okay. Does it hurt?

- Do you want any Tylenol or anything?
- Um.

No, no, no. It's actually just...

It stings a little bit, but that's fine.

- Thank you.
- Look at us.

We ought to open up a family practice.

You know, I'm gonna...

I'm just gonna grab some air.

I get it, Jackson.

You're not the only person in quarantine

who's drowning in big

"What the hell am I doing with my life?"

kind of questions.

But you don't just
up and move across the country

on a whim.

No, no, no, that's not what
this is. It's not on a whim.

Since the moment I met you
at Mercy West,

you have rejected
your family name, the legacy,

even the freaking plane.

You've... You've wanted
nothing to do with any of it.

- I resisted. That's not necess...
- No, no, no.

Sorry, you've been running,
kicking and screaming.

That is not where this is coming from.

Okay? I can use this as an opportunity

to make some profound changes
in the world.

You understand?

I respect that. I mean,
I-I admire that, Jackson.

As long as it's not an inconvenience
to your perfect little life here?

Uprooting my entire life
is not an inconvenience.

Okay, you're right.

But I need this.

I know that I need to do this.

I can feel it in my gut,
and I just want to trust that for once.

Okay.

How many times have you
"felt in your gut"...

- Don't
- ... the need to just pack up a tent

and go for a walkabout

and talk to yourself amongst the trees?

So I'm the only one that's walked
away when I was having a hard time?

Just me, huh?

How many times have you been

sitting in the front pew at a church,

talking to God about the plans
for your life?

- It's not the same thing. I...
- Why not?

Why is it that you can find
solace and purpose in a church,

but I can't find it in nature,

where I can actually

have some time that's quiet...

... hear myself think,
think about what I want,

not what everybody else expects of me?

So how long did you spend

thinking about going to see your father?

How much time did you spend doing that?

- Don't reduce it to that!
- Or did you just, like,

- get in a car and... and go...
- No, it's not on a whim, okay?

- It was a realization.
- Okay, I...

I needed clarity,

and I went and talked to Robert,
and I got it.

You have never wanted any of this.

And... And I'm just
supposed to roll with it

and see what happens?

What... What happens when you regret it?

What happens when you realize
that you actually hate it?

What you're asking of me,

of... of our family,
of our daughter, it's...

What happens if it doesn't work?

Matthew got on one knee
and proposed to you...

- Please don't. Jackson, I'm...
- No, no, no, it's true.

He got on one knee and proposed to you

in front of me.

I stood there,

watched another man become your husband

and stepfather to my child...
Our child...

... and at no point
did I come to you and say,

"Yeah, but what if it doesn't work?"

I didn't do that.

I had your back that day
and every day since.

He bugs the hell out of you, doesn't he?

I'm allowed to be frustrated at the guy

who makes sandwiches weird.

Who... I-It's... And he

- calls her Hair-Hair.
- I know.

I know. I'm working on that.

What I'm not allowed to do, April,

what... what I've actually never done,

is stand in the way

of the happiness
that you chose for yourself.

I had your back.

I know this is a surprise,

but I'm just asking you...
Do the same for me.

I...

I... I want you to be happy, Jackson.

You deserve it.

But running the foundation?

I... I'm sorry.

It's just...

You're not that guy.

I don't think you ever will be.

So, that's it?
I'm either gonna fail or quit?

I'm sorry, Jackson. I didn't...
I didn't mean that...

Yeah, you did.
That's exactly what you meant.

Ok...

Fine. Yeah. I did.

Jackson, you are a brilliant surgeon.

You rebuild people's faces,
you rebuild their lives.

You find a way to make them breathe

when... When it seems impossible.

You gave a little boy back his hands.

You prayed me back into the world

when I was almost dead.

Y-You take out impossible tumors,

and you make people
walk out into the world

with their heads held high.

That's where you've left your mark.

It's what makes you exceptional.

Wh...

Why would you want
to give all of that up?

It's not about what I want.
It's what I need to do.

Well, you know what? It's
a little late to decide that.

Excuse me?

You don't get to choose
who I am in this world, April.

Nobody does.

Not my father, not Mom... nobody.

And you don't get to choose
your career over mine.

- That's...
- I am happy.

I'm helping people.

I'm really helping them.

I am building support systems

and resources for people
in rural communities,

and they need so much,

and I can actually do that for them.

And you can keep doing that.

You can do it on an even bigger scale.

You can do it across the country.

I'm... You're literally
just gaining resources.

April, I am not trying
to diminish your work.

We have an opportunity

to do something really amazing
for all of us.

Matthew will go along with it.

He'll follow you.

That's why I like him so much.

Oh, God.

You know what?

You... You didn't always have my back.

When I found what I needed in Jordan,

you didn't go with me.

You left me alone. I went alone.

April, that's not fair.
You ran away from me.

And Samuel and the pain and the grief,

which is understandable.

You know, I was resentful at the time,

but I get it.

You were surviving.

You had to do
what you had to do to survive.

But this isn't that, anyway.

I'm not running from something.

I'm trying to run to something.

Trying to make something my own.

It's not fair, Jackson.

If you had the opportunity

to finally make it all make sense,

to become what you were meant to be,

wouldn't you try really,
really hard to get there?

I would.

I did.

That's all I'm asking for.

I got it.

99.3.

- Oh, good. Alright.
- Yeah.

So she's a little more comfortable.

Yeah. She's talking in her sleep.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

Anything good?

Just gibberish.

She said, "Amananome."

Ah. That is the sea anemone.

Oh.

She's been waking me up
the last few weeks

with a different sea creature fact.

Are they really "facts," though?

In her head, they are.

It's the best alarm clock, ever,
I'll tell you.

Last week, she told me

that she could hear "werewoofs"
throwing up in your basement.

Really? I don't even have a basement.

Oh, I'm aware.

There's no convincing her otherwise.

So stubborn.

Which I would say
comes from her mother...

... but I think we both know...

- 50/50 split.
- ... right down the middle.

Yeah.

I could never give that up
going to Boston.

Sea creature alarm clocks,
holding her when she's sick.

But I can't walk away from this chance

to make real change in the foundation.

I mean, Mom was able to do both.

And I know in my gut, that I can, too.

I mean, I owe it to Harriet
to try, at least.

- I know.
- And I know I can't do it all,

but, April, I am telling you,

I can take this foundation
to a whole new chapter.

I mean, creating real
racial equity in medicine.

Are you kidding?

It's a revolutionary, lasting change.

I could look my daughter in the face

and know that I've done
everything I possibly can

to give her a better world.

I know. I know.

I could do all that

and... and be the father
that mine never was.

And all I need to do
is turn my life upside down.

Puts a lot into perspective, huh?

Yeah, I come out here every morning

just to take it all in.

Feel like I got a lot more thinking done

these last few days out here

than probably all year.

Might find it hard to believe,

but I've been thinking a lot
about our last visit.

Everything you said.

And the truth is,

I left because that's what I do.

I chose this place because it's safe.

Running the restaurant, bagging lunches,

none of it requires much of me.

I can walk away
and not look back any time.

And just forget about who
you're leaving behind, yeah?

I was convinced you were
better off without me.

Without a father?

How would you think
I'm better off without...

my father never being there
for any birthdays,

any graduations?

That time I got beat up by Billy Paxton?

At my wedding?

The birth of my child,
your granddaughter.

My divorce... maybe that
would've been a good time

for you to step in
and share some wisdom.

A hug, I don't know.

Help me make some decisions?

It's not like it was a few months, man.

Or a year or 10 years.

It's my entire life.

- How could you think that's better?
- In my father's eyes,

I was the screw-up in the family,

and I absorbed that story.

Maybe I became it.

And I didn't want
to pass that down to you.

I did not want to mess you up.

Congrats.

I get that now.

I hurt a lot of people.

You, your mother.

And to have found out
I have a granddaughter that I...

may never meet...

Yeah, well, it didn't have to
be that way, did it?

You're absolutely right.

So I buy her presents.

An art set, a basketball,
tricycle, board games.

What are you saying?
And you didn't send them?

I don't have the right.

I don't deserve...

to take your time, be in your space.

Not one day has passed

that I haven't regretted leaving you.

It haunts me in my sleep,

when I wake up in the morning.

And I am truly, truly sorry.

And yet I know an apology
will never make up for it.

And I have to live with that.

I will never get over it.

Oh, Jackson.

Crossroads like this,
you don't arrive at them often,

but I know you will be okay,

no matter what road you choose.

I'm still an Avery, right?

I still find some way to...

walk away from it all.

Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Isn't that what they say?

Nice.

- That's great.
- No, I'm sorry.

I just thought that was funny.

I'm the tree, you're the apple.

Do you really think that?

I'm sitting here, aren't I?

Jackson, let me assure you,
you are not me.

The fact that you're even
questioning your choices

is proof of that.

And if that's not enough,

you are committed, Jackson.

Committed to your work, to your family,

to people in need.

And I know sometimes you want
to run away from it all,

but anybody with any sense does that.

It's very different

from actually following through with it.

I was scared.

I'm scared.

Yeah, but you're scared
of doing the wrong thing.

I was too scared to do the right thing.

You're not a runner.

If you were, you would have been
long gone by now.

Do you know how easy it would have been

for you to walk away from everything

after it all came out
about the foundation?

Did you even consider it?

Not really, no.

Of course not.

'Cause you have it in your soul
to do the right thing,

to make things right.

And you didn't just fix a disaster,

you made it better.

So if you don't want to stay, don't.

But don't blame it on me.

'Cause on your worst day,

you are 10 times the man I am.

- Jackson?
- Hey.

- Come in.
- I can't stay.

Honey, it's pouring out here.

Here, Mom.

I mean, I can't stay
at Grey-Sloan in Seattle.

I can't keep doing
what we've always done.

You know how many people of color

we've already lost
since the pandemic started?

The system keeps diminishing
and erasing us.

T-They're literally letting
people just die in the streets,

and we can do something about it.

I got to show Harriet
that we can put our money

and our attention where our mouths are.

And we can acknowledge
the connection between our work

and what's actually happening
in the streets

and give a sense of equity
in this world, okay?

It's not gonna change after COVID.

We know that.

White supremacy is woven into
the fabric of this country,

and that means medicine, too.

People that look like us

should not have to be
gaslit, shamed, and ignored

when they're just going to the doctor,

constantly having to prove
that their lives have any value.

It's like this constant cycle of stress

from poverty and trauma and racism,

and it's definitely
impacting mental health...

It's definitely killing us.

Where are people supposed to turn?

They don't feel safe
going to the doctor.

They're scared to call the cops.

This is like a deep-seated neglect.

And if our deaths are not
affecting their profit margin,

then it's not gonna change.

I want to take over the foundation.

What?

I want to reallocate
every penny that we have

to equity in medicine...

Women's health, trans health,
racial equity.

I want everyone who this country
abuses to be served, okay?

We need to challenge
all the ways that we teach,

everything that we're doing.

If that means dismantling
the whole medical system

a-and... and designing something
that actually serves everyone,

then that's what I want to do.

I-I see that now. I'm ready.

Jackson, where have you been?

It doesn't even matter anymore, Mom.

It matters that I'm back
and I know where I belong.

Oh!

- I gotta go. I love you.
- Ah!

Where on God's earth are you going now?

I got to go talk to April.

What?! Jackson...

Here we go. Yummy!

Are you gonna go with crazy fork?

Pancakes go in your belly.

Why do you always go for the big ones?

Hey.

Take all the small pieces, alright?

You want to cut your own little piece?

A small one. What are you doing...

A small one this time,
that's soaked up in syrup?

Extra syrup?

Ooh. There she is.

- There she is.
- Hi!

Mommy!

Hi!

- Oh!
- No fever.

Oh, good, good, good.

I want orange juice.

Yeah, you can have some orange juice.

You want me to get it for you, baby?

No, I get it myself.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Go ahead, baby.

Are you gonna unscrew the top
and pour it?

You are that guy, Jackson.

I was an ass for saying otherwise.

Yeah?

Pillows in every room.

They come in handy.

Hey, are you sure about this?

I'm not sure it's gonna work, but...

I'm sure it's what I want, yeah.

Why is our timing always so terrible?

I thought that was kind of
our thing... bad timing.

We just never figured out

how to want the same thing
at the same time.

Even with Harriet.

Yeah, but, I mean,
it worked out pretty well.

Yeah, but we were fighting,

and then we had sex

while our marriage was falling apart.

That was actually our thing...

Arguing until we were blue
in the face and then having sex.

Yeah, I guess we were doomed, huh?

Look, if you're really
living your dream here,

I'll give it up, because you're right.

I'm totally springing it on you guys.

No. What?

You do not get to do all the speeches

and the convincing

and that thing where your face
just lights up

just to take it all back again.

Don't take it all back.

You deserve this.

Wait. What are you saying?

I am saying...

... we will make Boston work.

I'm saying yes.

What? You're saying yes?

- To my question, you're saying yes?
- Yes.

I'm saying... Yeah. I thought
that's what you wanted.

Yeah, but... Yes?

Like, I didn't think
it would be that easy.

I'm sorry. You call this night easy?

No, not... Not easy like that,

but, like, I thought you'd have to pray

or consult with Matthew,
maybe get your pastor involved,

- some additional praying...
- Yeah. Yeah. Matthew will be fine.

Alright, well, when does he get back?

I can help with the pitch.
I can talk to him.

- What do you want me to... ?
- Uh, no. No. No.

No, that's a horrible and weird idea...

- Yes.
- ... obviously.

Um, but tell him that
I can help him with work.

I'll make sure everything is
arranged for him and for Ruby.

We split up.

Oh.

We kept trying to tell ourselves
that our whole winding road

was God's plan
to bring us back together.

But he was still so angry and so hurt.

I mean, I left him at the altar,
and then his wife died.

You know,
you don't just stop feeling hurt

'cause it's a better story

if God brought us together in our pain.

He denied it for so long.

You know, he tried so hard
not to hate me.

I think loving me,
making us a full circle

was the story he was writing.

I mean, I guess it was the story
we were both writing.

I mean, I was trying
to get past my guilt.

He was... He was trying to forgive God

for the loss of Karin.

But, y-you know,
ultimately, we learned that...

... life just isn't always so tidy.

And God's plan isn't always
so easy to understand.

He's always been so good with Harriet,

and I adore Ruby,

but we both started
working longer hours,

just avoiding coming home.

And then, his sister got sick.
She lives in Philadelphia.

So he and Ruby went to
Philadelphia to be with her,

and... now she's better,

uh, but they're still in Philadelphia.

And...

they are not coming back.

I had no idea.

Yeah, I mean, I was gonna tell you,

but, you know, hundreds of
thousands of people were dying.

I just didn't think my marriage
counted as a casualty.

And you were maybe
a little too proud to tell me?

Yeah, fine.

I was a little... A little too proud.

You okay?

It's hard to say.

But...

it looks like I'm moving to Boston.

So...

Fingers crossed for new horizons.

Fingers crossed for new horizons.

No one said it was easy,

becoming the person you're meant to be.

It takes bravery a step into
the power you found

and earned and deserve.

He'll come back.

And you'll visit, and he'll visit.

I know.

You know, it's okay to be sad.

It's hard handing over something
you put your life into.

I'm not sad.

It's just, like, I never in my life

felt pride quite like this.

The trick is, to take the
people who were there for you,

with you.

To remind you you're not alone.

It's gonna take a few days,

figure out what to tell the chief.

Feels weird to say Boston.

Feels like a...

I don't know.

It feels "I don't know" to me, too.

- Thank you.
- Oh!

Mommy, Daddy!

I got her.

You go.

Get ready to go.

You have an entire legacy behind you

as you create your own.