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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:20,693 - Welcome to Wickie's world! 2 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:23,269 No shoes, bare feet, or socks, please. 3 00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:24,734 I always wanted to live on a cliff, 4 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:27,614 so I designed this Malibu home myself. 5 00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,282 Isn't it stunning? 6 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,820 And the theme I always came back to was 7 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,025 "purple expensive." 8 00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:35,325 I commissioned this mantle. 9 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:36,538 Now that I've gone solo, 10 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,908 I need a place for all my future awards. 11 00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:44,881 I love to just sit here and get ideas like, 12 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,459 a duet with Prince 13 00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:48,924 that gives poor people a Christmas. 14 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:52,175 Here, of course, is my solo album, 15 00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:53,848 "Yesternights." 16 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,557 This is a film I recently completed with Jose. 17 00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,808 I played Dr. Janet Dress, 18 00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,270 and what drew me to this role 19 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,810 was that... I believe we were spies 20 00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:05,654 as well as my love of all things humor. 21 00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:14,533 I saw on this program that Ms. Missy Elliott 22 00:01:14,574 --> 00:01:17,084 has a bed that looks like a Ferrari. 23 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:19,078 Well, I do Missy one better 24 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,330 by having a car 25 00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:21,872 that looks like a bed. 26 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,875 It's Sealy Posturepedic for Alfa Romeo. 27 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:26,750 Vroom, vroom. 28 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:28,205 Bye, "Cribs." 29 00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:30,844 Luxury forever! 30 00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:08,634 - Fireworks or terrorism? - Hmm? 31 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,589 Oh, it's just Wickie. 32 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,514 - You're welcome. - I'm organizing. 33 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,303 Is that a trash pile? 34 00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:20,216 Of course not. It's to donate. 35 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,305 I'm very giving. 36 00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:22,599 That's our microwave. 37 00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:25,312 It has a button that says "baked potato." 38 00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:27,273 Invest in yourself. 39 00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:30,483 - I do. - I wash my bra every other week. 40 00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:32,525 A clean, fresh space is my gift to you 41 00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,149 for letting me stay here. 42 00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:35,655 I have an eye for this. 43 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,633 Every interior designer I've ever worked with has said, 44 00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:40,117 "Then why don't you just do it?" 45 00:02:41,202 --> 00:02:43,122 Ugh, buddy. Your poopy's out. 46 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,663 I told her. 47 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:47,826 - You told her? 48 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:50,706 Wickie's presence is, uh, palpable. 49 00:02:50,754 --> 00:02:52,384 Why does she have six toothbrushes? 50 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,052 Some are for eyebrows and suedes. 51 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,130 I gotta say, it's starting to feel a little... 52 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,466 Do not say "You, Me and Dupree." 53 00:02:58,511 --> 00:02:59,851 This is temporary. 54 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:02,518 We have our first group strategy session today. 55 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:05,057 And as soon as we start booking gigs, 56 00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,311 she'll get her own place. 57 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:09,943 A curling iron is on in a child's room. 58 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,401 Sorry, honey. 59 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,571 At least you get the place to yourself today. 60 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,450 Because this afternoon, 61 00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:18,657 Max is going to the Bernardones' birthday party. 62 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:21,238 Yes, Declan's coming over to watch the Tour de Fresno. 63 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:22,704 Biking? 64 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:23,624 Cycling. 65 00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:25,291 I got my eyes on Primas Pacas. 66 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,540 He was a forceps baby, 67 00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,142 so his head really slices through the wind. 68 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:29,996 - Hey, Richard. - Scott. 69 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,383 No Black men are named Scott. 70 00:03:31,419 --> 00:03:32,709 Scottie Pippen. 71 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,804 - Kid Cudi. Travis Scott. - Sure. 72 00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,219 If you're gonna be around later, 73 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:37,526 do you mind signing for a package? 74 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,278 I have a few essentials coming from Los Angeles. 75 00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:40,432 Sure. No problem. 76 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,180 Is that a hat from Boost Mobile? 77 00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:45,772 You'll thank me. 78 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,100 Ding-dong, mommies. 79 00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,571 - Oh, my God. 80 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:55,067 Flash flood or Amber alert or what? 81 00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,440 No, it's just... 82 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,005 It's been a couple days since we did "Fallon" 83 00:03:58,029 --> 00:03:59,819 and Kev hasn't reposted it yet 84 00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:03,374 even though I post all of his TV appearances. 85 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,410 Hey, what's up? 86 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:05,832 I'm here with an exclusive look 87 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:08,000 at the flight paths celebrities often take 88 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:10,039 from Los Angeles to Miami, 89 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,543 passing over Tampa completely. 90 00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:15,958 I wouldn't worry about who's posting what, but... 91 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:17,256 I will say that 92 00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:18,776 the fact that Kev lives in a different city is... 93 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,470 No! Kev and I are amazing! 94 00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:24,181 We are so cute. It's frickin' gross. 95 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:25,602 We were Zales ambassadors. 96 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,480 It begins. 97 00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:32,559 - I love her. 98 00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,435 Girls5eva is back. 99 00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:37,072 Femperors of our own fempire. 100 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:39,700 Haters can say that we're one-hit wonders, 101 00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:44,078 but they forget that we have a secret weapon. 102 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,327 My boot knife? 103 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,470 We keep a lot of cash at the office. 104 00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:47,954 Our trademark. 105 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,286 Dwasg. 106 00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:51,921 What's the story of that? 107 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,378 Well, Mr. King, 108 00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:56,668 "dwasg" is our word for this electric feeling we all get 109 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:59,053 when we're performing together and we're just in the zone. 110 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:01,470 - We all get chicken nipples. 111 00:05:01,509 --> 00:05:03,599 I guess out east, you call them goosebumps. 112 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,806 It's made from the first letters of our names. 113 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,467 Is it you're just inventing words? 114 00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:11,225 - Uh, yeah. - That's how words work, Larry. 115 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:12,479 They're all made up. 116 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,650 Ham. Diner. 117 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:17,859 France. Shoulders! 118 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,031 - "Shoulders." - "Shoulders"! 119 00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:22,322 And even though Ashley lost her battle 120 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,824 with the infinity pool, 121 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,405 we still had our dwasg at Fallon! 122 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,371 Ash was probably watching from above. 123 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:29,701 Or below. 124 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,866 She used to curse and masturbate, so... 125 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:34,455 Now look, I know the business. 126 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,591 It's all about capitalizing on heat. 127 00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:39,628 And right now, Girls5eva has a little heat! 128 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,223 - True! 129 00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:43,007 I saw a new clickbait ad that said 130 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:46,681 you won't believe which one of us is Haley Joel Osment now. 131 00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:49,221 We have to turn that heat into a fire 132 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,265 that shoots us to the stage! 133 00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:52,479 At... 134 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,689 Oh! 135 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:56,108 There's a chalkboard right there. 136 00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,227 Jingle Ball. 137 00:05:57,273 --> 00:05:59,403 Oh, my God! Yes! 138 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:01,952 The greatest concert in the world. 139 00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:04,356 The concert that bumped us in 2001. 140 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:07,276 - Well... - It's not just a concert. 141 00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,655 It is a coronation. 142 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:13,043 It is how we will know that we have truly arrived. 143 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,291 - Yes. - Mm-hmm. 144 00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,752 And look who played the year we got bumped. 145 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:19,753 P! Nk, Alicia Keys, Jay-Z. 146 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,716 All not dentists now. 147 00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:22,916 Great! 148 00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:26,336 So we know where we need to be in December. 149 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,386 So what's our first move, ladies? 150 00:06:40,859 --> 00:06:41,877 Announcer: Still pedaling. 151 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,191 And here comes more pedaling! 152 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,526 Oh! You called it. 153 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:47,621 - I I did. Called it. - Ah! His head is a knife! 154 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,326 Who is it? 155 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,369 Delivery for Wickie Roy. 156 00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,713 Come on up. 157 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,368 Curbside. Come to curb. 158 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,967 This is essentials? 159 00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,217 No. No, no, no, no, no! 160 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,888 Hang on. 161 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,056 Dawn, Wickie's package is a grand piano 162 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,136 from the future. 163 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,101 Oh, God. 164 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,230 A bird just flew into it. Call me. 165 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,767 No. No, no, no, no. 166 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,371 No, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Don't go. 167 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:20,065 Sorry. You have to take it back or move it for us. 168 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,516 Curbside! 169 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,816 But Declan has cycling arms. 170 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,280 You sign for this? 171 00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:28,618 What's that thing made of? 172 00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:34,544 You have something? 173 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:35,619 No. 174 00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:37,003 I thought it might help me think 175 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,920 if I wrote "think, asshole" in really big letters. 176 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,799 Why don't we know what to do? 177 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:44,006 Why can't we make any decisions? 178 00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,927 Because, look, we never got to make group decisions before. 179 00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,086 Larry made them all for us. 180 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,446 - Ashley. - Ashley and Summer: Yeah? 181 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,600 You're Summer now 182 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,808 because we already have an Ashley. 183 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,478 And Wickie, you can't wear those braids on TV. 184 00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:57,808 - Why? - It's a white hairstyle. 185 00:07:57,852 --> 00:08:00,192 Christina, Gwen Stefani, 186 00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,900 Travolta in "Battlefield Earth." 187 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:03,780 That wasn't okay, Larry. 188 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,897 - God, that Larry. - He really stunk. 189 00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:08,154 He'd be all, "Lose ten pounds," 190 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,986 and I'd do it, and then, he'd go, 191 00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:12,331 "Not from there! From the legs, kid. 192 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,537 From the legs!" 193 00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,216 Did he always say messed up stuff to you 194 00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,655 right before a show? 195 00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:18,285 Oh, you mean his little pep talks? 196 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,081 "You're this close to being the hot one, Summer." 197 00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:23,496 "You inspire fans 'cause you show them anyone can do it." 198 00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:25,439 He'd stare at me and pretend to be on the phone 199 00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:27,013 with Nicole Scherzinger and go, 200 00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,318 "Let's see how she does tonight before you get on a plane." 201 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,432 Well, we don't need Larry anymore. 202 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:34,009 Half the gigs he booked us weren't even real. 203 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:36,305 - First show ever! 204 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,639 Santa's in his workshop 205 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,161 working on an Arby's beef and cheddar. 206 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,975 Go. Get up on his platform and sing! 207 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,331 - Don't worry about security. - Okay! 208 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,725 The most they've got is a stick. 209 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,363 Go! Win hearts! 210 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,820 And show your stomachs! 211 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:51,030 All: We are Girls5eva! 212 00:08:53,491 --> 00:08:55,451 That is our first move. 213 00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,453 Go back to where it all began. 214 00:08:57,495 --> 00:09:00,285 - God's finger? - The Queen of Plaza mall? 215 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,671 That show put us on the map. 216 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,629 I say we pop back up in there 217 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:05,855 and make an official announcement 218 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,009 that Girls5eva is back! 219 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,298 - Oh, my God! Yes! - It's hot. 220 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,181 And it's buzzy. And it's free. 221 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:14,007 And I've got a pair of Skechers I need to return. 222 00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,434 We'll roll in with cordless mics, 223 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:18,062 sing a song that really shows off our dwasg, 224 00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,929 and get out before we're swarmed by fans. 225 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:22,346 - Oh, my gosh! 226 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,895 "Massive Girls5eva announcement. 227 00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,569 "8:00 p.m. tomorrow. 228 00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:28,228 Instagram Live." 229 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:30,696 - Tomorrow? - While we have heat. 230 00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:34,407 And... tagging industry bigshots! 231 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:35,869 Simon Cowell. 232 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,159 Babyface. Babylegs. 233 00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,713 - All the babies! - "#Newspapers." 234 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:42,207 Oh, my God. Okay. 235 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,418 Well, we can get a pop-up show together by then. 236 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,589 Let's warm up with some Britney scales. 237 00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:47,918 #FreeBritney. 238 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:51,092 All: 239 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,768 Jesus! 240 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,232 Isn't Ghislaine gorgeous? 241 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,402 - I named her 20 years ago. 242 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,169 It was a pretty name then. It's a pretty name now. 243 00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,903 - I'm not changing it. 244 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,695 Was it always this big? 245 00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:14,988 She's made by the same people 246 00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,342 that make realtor excellence awards, 247 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:18,086 and I'm loving the conversation she's having 248 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,658 with your pile of shoes. 249 00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,584 Oh, my God. 250 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,672 Oh! Oh, my God! 251 00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:26,748 Oh, honey. Are you okay? 252 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,553 Moving that thing took all day. 253 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,416 I tweaked my L5. 254 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,133 Declan blew out his arms. 255 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,651 And Max had to spend an extra three hours 256 00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:34,965 at the Bernardone's. 257 00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:38,100 He saw the Elmo get in his car and drive home. 258 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,718 God, that could really mess a kid up! 259 00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,894 Dawn, she can't keep this here. 260 00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,603 Minor thing. 261 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,563 You may wanna rotate Ghislaine 40 degrees counterclockwise 262 00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:49,234 because if the sun hits her at that angle, 263 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:51,824 she could become a prism and start fires. 264 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,107 I'll talk to her. 265 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:59,616 Maybe she can put it in storage or 266 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:03,159 give it to David Blaine and he can hold his breath in it. 267 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:07,458 If we really wanna blow the doors off that mall, 268 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,500 we should do "Dream Girlfriends." 269 00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:11,094 Big-time dwasg song. 270 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:13,469 - Yeah. Love it. - Great. 271 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,376 I'll text the girls. 272 00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:19,345 Hey, so you know when an Italian family 273 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,637 puts a giant fountain on their tiny front lawn 274 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,181 and it looks insane? 275 00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,910 Dawn, I know this piano doesn't quite jive 276 00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:26,564 with your flyover state aesthetic... 277 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,023 I will say, 278 00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:30,323 my brother recently was paid in some storage units, 279 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,647 and once he clears out the fake skin products... 280 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,282 You know, 281 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:35,739 this is the first thing I bought 282 00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:38,159 when Girls5eva took off. 283 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,278 - How? - We only ever got a per diem. 284 00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:43,155 Constellation of credit cards, but 285 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,873 after "Yesternights" underperformed, 286 00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,174 "Mr. Dress" swept the Razzies, 287 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,748 and the Hair and Makeup Guild put an inflatable rat 288 00:11:50,794 --> 00:11:53,764 outside my house for human rights abuses, 289 00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:55,587 the phone just stopped ringing. 290 00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:57,842 Eventually, the creditors took everything 291 00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:01,894 except this piano because... 292 00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:05,640 I sincerely don't think they saw it. 293 00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:07,774 I know it's big and absurd, 294 00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:11,861 but when I look at it, it makes me feel like I can do anything, 295 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,978 like there's greatness in me, 296 00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:16,606 and us. 297 00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:22,282 - Well, I love it. 298 00:12:22,325 --> 00:12:25,615 - It's very special. - It is. 299 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:39,224 Good morning, my beautiful girls. 300 00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,299 Look who's FaceTiming. 301 00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,814 Oh, it's Kev. Hey, Kev. 302 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:46,467 Hey. I hear you have a big performance tonight. 303 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:47,846 Oh, yeah. We do. 304 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,892 I just wanna say, I'm super excited for you. 305 00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,016 You're gonna do great. 306 00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,862 Aw! Thank you, honey bunny. 307 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:56,817 So have a great show, and congratulations to all. 308 00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:59,400 'Cause Kev from the Boys Next Door thinks... 309 00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,164 This is a Cameo? 310 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,830 She bought a Cameo from her husband 311 00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:06,971 to make us think he's FaceTiming. 312 00:13:06,995 --> 00:13:08,405 Good Lord. 313 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:09,932 So thanks for being a fan, stranger. 314 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,706 Oh, wow! Okay. 315 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:13,750 - Hi! Good morning. - Hi. 316 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,173 Okay, show's tonight. 317 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,921 Where's Gloria? 318 00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,882 Okay, let's rehearse. 319 00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,385 - "Let's rehearse"? - Where are you? 320 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,572 I'm in the office; I have an emergency tooth abscess. 321 00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:25,636 Come on, Gloria! 322 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:27,430 Uh, does this look like it can wait? 323 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,524 - Oh. Oh, gross. - Ugh. Ew. 324 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,939 - But I can do both. - 'Cause he's sedated, so... 325 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,268 - Ooh. - All right. Let's go. 326 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:35,113 "Dream Girlfriends." 327 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,688 One, two, three. And 328 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,105 Have you ever wanted 329 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,574 the perfect girl... 330 00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:43,534 - Oh! - What? 331 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:44,373 I'm so sorry. 332 00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:46,277 This guy's mouth is like 333 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,826 a straight shot down to his asshole. 334 00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,199 It's foul. 335 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,745 - Let's do this. Back to one. - Okay. 336 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:56,842 How do I stop this? 337 00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,298 Do I press End and Accept? 338 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,048 No, it's Ignore and Accept. 339 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:01,609 - No, it's Ignore and Hold... - You know what? 340 00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:02,803 I'll do it... shit! 341 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,342 I was wrong. 342 00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:06,546 There's not zero interest in Girls5eva. 343 00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:09,556 - Larry, look at the phone! - You did a FaceTime, Larry. 344 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,929 I did? 345 00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:12,885 Well, hang on. 346 00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:14,186 No. 347 00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:15,979 Wait a minute. 348 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,232 Okay. Okay. 349 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,654 I got a call. 350 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:22,493 Eric Trump Casino University needs someone to play 351 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,989 between MMA fights while they mop up blood. 352 00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,781 Four grand, minus my 80%. 353 00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:29,116 BYO-mop. 354 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,450 Well, what about buckets? 355 00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:33,035 Girls5eva does not need your toxic energy, Larry. 356 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,791 I'm not toxic anymore. 357 00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:36,293 I have a gratitude journal. 358 00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:37,674 Today, I'm grateful for my health 359 00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:39,631 and mannequins that have nipples. 360 00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:42,131 - There's no I in dwasg, Larry. - Yeah. 361 00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:43,633 Fine. I'll ask about buckets. 362 00:14:44,676 --> 00:14:47,506 - Oh! - Your mouth is disgusting! 363 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,854 Oh, we're back. I'm sorry. 364 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,269 Come on. Back to one. 365 00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:54,765 I wanna play with Mommy. 366 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,811 Mommy, Mommy, I wanna play with you. 367 00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,515 Mommy's working, honey. 368 00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,185 - Dawn, come on. - Get it together, here. 369 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,573 This guy just bit me. Come on. 370 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:04,199 - I wanna stay with Mommy. - I wanna stay with Mommy. 371 00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:07,489 Mommy, Mommy, I want to stay with you. 372 00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:08,872 To fit in your world? 373 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,448 - I wanna stay with you. - Sorry. 374 00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,388 - Because we already real... - Oh, I almost cut through. 375 00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,372 - Oh, God damn it! - Mommy, I wanna play with you! 376 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:18,544 You know what? Dwasg cannot thrive in these environs. 377 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,335 It's a soufflรƒยฉ, not a duck cake. 378 00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:22,898 I mean, I feel like I'm smelling shit 379 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,762 that he ate, like, a year and a half ago. 380 00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:28,258 That's our bedroom. 381 00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:34,183 My grilled cheese is cold. 382 00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,068 Oh, it's fine. 383 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,148 I didn't use any product. 384 00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:44,323 Did you talk to Wickie? 385 00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:46,031 Maybe we could just watch TV 386 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:48,661 through the piano. 387 00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:49,988 I can't ask her to get rid of it. 388 00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:51,373 It inspires her. 389 00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:52,887 Most people have smaller things that do that. 390 00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:56,211 For me, it's a picture of our family in a men's locket. 391 00:15:56,247 --> 00:15:57,957 What makes it a men's locket? 392 00:15:57,999 --> 00:15:59,769 It attaches to my belt and has a bottle opener. 393 00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:02,503 Look, you know I support Girls5eva, 394 00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:04,545 but that piano doesn't fit into our life. 395 00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,679 Max keeps bumping into it. 396 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:09,426 Now he's not sure what's a real object and what's not. 397 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,521 I see the benefits of a cautious child. 398 00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:16,556 If you can't be the bad guy, I will. 399 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,651 Wait, did she move it? 400 00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:31,832 Thanks for driving us, Nick. 401 00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:33,786 - No problem. - Hey, you guys want party lights? 402 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:34,787 Check this out. 403 00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:36,055 I rent this thing out for proms, 404 00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:38,619 TikToks, Russian airport pickups. 405 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,476 Okay, once we get Summer, we'll have 24 minutes 406 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,000 to rehearse and fire up the dwasg. 407 00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:43,003 Okay. 408 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,384 You guys! 409 00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,921 Look! Kev sent me flowers. 410 00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:48,545 Like, for real. 411 00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:51,511 Not like me pretending that he sent them. 412 00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:52,697 Can you hear yourself, Summer? 413 00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:55,471 - Not when you're talking, no. - Mm-mm. 414 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,385 I sent them. 415 00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:59,354 She deserves to be happy before that marriage... 416 00:17:00,854 --> 00:17:02,415 That's really sweet short-term thinking. 417 00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:04,149 - Thank you. - Ooh! 418 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:07,400 @babylegs wrote, "Can't wait," with a baby foot emoji. 419 00:17:07,444 --> 00:17:08,994 - The world is watching. 420 00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:11,569 We're one baby step closer to Jingle Ball. 421 00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:12,744 - Let's go. - Okay. 422 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,782 - "Dream Girlfriends." - From the top. 423 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:17,076 Two, three, four. 424 00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:21,325 Have you ever wanted 425 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,884 the perfect girl? 426 00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,426 You know, it's working, but, like, 427 00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:36,949 I'm not moved, though. But I got a high bar. 428 00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:38,773 I once saw Anita Baker at the Trop. 429 00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,938 Nick's right. Let's go again. 430 00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,767 Everybody sing from your diaphragm. 431 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,062 Which one? 432 00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,265 Honey, you don't leave those in all the time. 433 00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,436 I'm getting you a book. 434 00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:49,574 Two, three, four. 435 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:57,624 - Competent, but feel my eyes. - They're bone dry. 436 00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,540 - Where is our dwasg? - Why don't we have it? 437 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:00,959 What didn't we do? 438 00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:03,417 - Is it cocaine? - I used to do so much cocaine. 439 00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:06,208 - I can't do cocaine anymore. - I'm taking too many statins. 440 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,632 No, we had it at "Fallon." 441 00:18:08,672 --> 00:18:10,342 What... what's missing? 442 00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,639 How long you been there? 443 00:18:14,678 --> 00:18:17,008 Boy, you have zero presence. 444 00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,778 It's smart that your teeth aren't so great. 445 00:18:19,808 --> 00:18:21,178 Like going to a bald barber. 446 00:18:21,226 --> 00:18:23,726 I know he's focused on me. 447 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:26,900 I always thought you'd be the dead one. 448 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,650 Suck it in, chunks. 449 00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:31,993 Our dwasg is from Larry being mean to us? 450 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,108 He'd make us feel small 451 00:18:33,154 --> 00:18:34,714 so we'd have something to prove onstage. 452 00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:36,159 Well, you know what? 453 00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:37,839 If we're gonna kill with this pop-up show, 454 00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,595 then we're just gonna have to Larry each other. 455 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,846 - Dawn, I'll start with your feet. - No. 456 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:43,250 I don't want us motivating ourselves 457 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,669 by tearing each other down. 458 00:18:44,708 --> 00:18:47,168 - We are better than that. - Are we? 459 00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:48,800 We're four grown women 460 00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:50,587 loose in the back of a cargo van. 461 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:51,840 It's not a van, all right? 462 00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:54,091 For tax purposes, it's ten wheelchairs. 463 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:57,804 We're more than just four women in the back of a van. 464 00:18:57,846 --> 00:19:01,516 We are four women with greatness in us. 465 00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:03,638 - Ghislaine. - Exactly, Dawn. 466 00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:05,055 You know, positive envisionment 467 00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:06,863 can be just as powerful a motivator. 468 00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:08,749 It's like when I'm working out at the gym, right? 469 00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:11,193 I like to imagine myself rescuing Christy Turlington 470 00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:12,574 from Ed Burns, and then, boom! 471 00:19:12,610 --> 00:19:14,171 I just start freakin' ripping down my lap pulls. 472 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:16,655 - Right. Y... yeah. 473 00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:19,408 So let's make ourselves feel big instead of small. 474 00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:20,701 Okay. 475 00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:22,374 Okay, dream scenarios for tonight. 476 00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:23,832 - Go. - Okay. 477 00:19:23,872 --> 00:19:25,872 - We kill at the mall. - Mm-hmm. 478 00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,955 It puts us on a rocket ship to the Grammys. 479 00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,841 And I take one of those photos that's like... 480 00:19:30,879 --> 00:19:33,065 "I don't know if I can carry all these!" 481 00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:35,719 - That's a solid Adele. 482 00:19:35,759 --> 00:19:37,889 Okay, we're so awesome tonight 483 00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:40,637 that my Astoria moms group stops asking me, 484 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,560 "What do you do again? Is it marketing?" 485 00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,099 Okay. Okay. My turn. 486 00:19:44,142 --> 00:19:46,022 Everybody sees us, and we are amazing. 487 00:19:46,061 --> 00:19:48,441 And... oh! It worked! Mine is short. 488 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,270 Oh, my God. 489 00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:53,025 We pop up. We blow minds. 490 00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:54,938 Then, Amber Alert! 491 00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:56,646 Sky-blue Taurus. 492 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,196 Rhode Island plates. It sounds familiar. 493 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,030 I sprint over to lot B, 494 00:20:01,076 --> 00:20:03,656 and I pull that son of a bitch through the windshield! 495 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,543 - Whoo! Hell, yeah! - Oh! 496 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:06,891 - Chicken nipples. - Oh, my God! Me too! 497 00:20:06,915 --> 00:20:08,625 - It worked. - We're here! 498 00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:09,747 All right. We got this. 499 00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:11,843 - Here we go. - Thanks, Nick. 500 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,212 Okay, ladies. 501 00:20:14,255 --> 00:20:16,925 - Okay. - Let's go destroy this mall. 502 00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,126 Yes! 503 00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:19,737 If they've got a Spencer's up in there, 504 00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,681 get me some "Jerky Boys" pajamas. 505 00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,109 The hell? 506 00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:34,566 Ugh! 507 00:20:34,609 --> 00:20:37,199 Oh, my God. Ew! 508 00:20:42,117 --> 00:20:45,947 The mall's already destroyed. 509 00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:48,325 I bought Skechers here, like, a month ago. 510 00:20:48,373 --> 00:20:49,793 Oh, my God. 511 00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:52,463 - The mall economy is fragile. 512 00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,422 One minute, she's a-bustlin'. 513 00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:57,132 The next, murdered by e-commerce. 514 00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:59,723 So the suits cram her with gimmicks. 515 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,049 Indoor ski slope, 516 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:03,505 swim-up food court, 517 00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:05,135 but that's just a Band-Aid. 518 00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,811 And things rot pretty fast when your anchor store 519 00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:10,231 is a Halloween Adventure. 520 00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,060 So there's nothing here? 521 00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:15,225 Outside of a post-apocalyptic paintball scene, no. 522 00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:17,485 But try next week. She could bounce back. 523 00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:18,857 Oh, yeah. 524 00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:21,203 We're supposed to go live in one minute. 525 00:21:21,239 --> 00:21:22,659 We cannot pop up here. 526 00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:25,489 We'll look like idiots! 527 00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:29,455 Jesus, am I crazy, 528 00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:32,287 or are the acoustics in here... 529 00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:39,469 - Oh, my God. 530 00:21:39,507 --> 00:21:41,427 You guys, look. 531 00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:44,218 The O from the downed Sbarro, 532 00:21:44,262 --> 00:21:46,012 it's like a ring light. 533 00:21:46,056 --> 00:21:50,596 We all look... super hot. 534 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:51,943 Okay. 535 00:21:51,978 --> 00:21:53,728 Let's not waste this dwasg. 536 00:21:53,772 --> 00:21:55,272 Lady guard. 537 00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:58,065 Okay, will you just press the red button? 538 00:21:58,109 --> 00:22:00,949 And keep the angles hot! You know? 539 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:03,987 And vertical... no! No! Up and down. 540 00:22:04,032 --> 00:22:05,992 Go live. Okay. Ready? 541 00:22:06,034 --> 00:22:08,544 - Yes. Yes. Yeah. 542 00:22:08,578 --> 00:22:10,458 Hello, Internet. 543 00:22:10,497 --> 00:22:14,417 We are coming to you live from the Queen of Plaza mall... 544 00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:15,959 - Whoo! - To tell you it's dead. 545 00:22:16,002 --> 00:22:17,752 - It's dead. - But we're not. 546 00:22:17,796 --> 00:22:20,166 Girls5eva is back! 547 00:22:20,215 --> 00:22:21,465 - Okay. 548 00:22:21,508 --> 00:22:22,878 - Yes. 549 00:22:25,095 --> 00:22:27,555 - Have you ever wanted. 550 00:22:29,432 --> 00:22:31,272 to fit in your world? 551 00:22:31,309 --> 00:22:34,399 Well, don't make a wish because we're already real. 552 00:23:33,747 --> 00:23:34,907 We're short, 553 00:23:34,956 --> 00:23:38,286 so we don't know that you're bald. 554 00:23:38,335 --> 00:23:39,785 That was good. 555 00:23:39,836 --> 00:23:41,956 And I saw Anita Baker at the Trop! 556 00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:45,005 - We're back, babies! 557 00:23:45,050 --> 00:23:47,590 - I love you guys! - Oh, my God, I love you! 558 00:23:49,387 --> 00:23:50,807 - Ow! 559 00:23:50,847 --> 00:23:53,097 - What? - I'm being targeted. 560 00:23:53,141 --> 00:23:54,641 Come on. Show yourself, dipshit. 561 00:23:54,684 --> 00:23:55,814 What? 562 00:23:55,852 --> 00:23:56,996 You're not gonna ruin my night. 563 00:23:57,020 --> 00:23:58,270 - No! 564 00:23:58,313 --> 00:24:00,323 I love you! 565 00:24:00,357 --> 00:24:02,607 - Ladies! - Thank you! 566 00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:04,320 - Oh! 567 00:24:04,361 --> 00:24:08,111 Oh, I went a little nuts with that Claire's gun I found. 568 00:24:08,156 --> 00:24:09,776 But I'm excited! 569 00:24:09,824 --> 00:24:11,494 Thank you for everything. 570 00:24:11,534 --> 00:24:12,914 You're my best friend. 571 00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:15,252 - Aw, Wickie! - Oh, God. 572 00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:17,748 And you're talking to the piano. 573 00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:19,331 Oh, God. 574 00:24:19,376 --> 00:24:22,706 I used to take piano lessons in the third grade. 575 00:24:22,754 --> 00:24:24,304 - Oh, you did? - Mm-hmm. 576 00:24:26,424 --> 00:24:29,684 I wonder if I remember how to play anything. 577 00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:34,519 Everybody knows this one. 578 00:24:37,018 --> 00:24:38,704 - Wickie, I'm sorry. - The piano's gotta go. 579 00:24:38,728 --> 00:24:39,728 I'm sorry. 580 00:25:00,792 --> 00:25:02,672 - Were we loud? - No. 581 00:25:02,711 --> 00:25:04,711 It's perfect. 582 00:25:04,754 --> 00:25:07,674 I'm okay with all of it. 583 00:25:07,716 --> 00:25:09,216 You should've seen Dawn tonight. 584 00:25:09,259 --> 00:25:11,679 - Yes. Show me. - I don't do Instagram. 585 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:13,300 Just Pinterest for outdoor vests. 586 00:25:13,346 --> 00:25:14,216 Hmm. 587 00:25:14,264 --> 00:25:15,934 Ooh, our dwasg was firing hard! 588 00:25:15,974 --> 00:25:17,104 I'm sure. 589 00:25:17,142 --> 00:25:19,732 Wait, why didn't you guys call it "d'swag"? 590 00:25:19,769 --> 00:25:22,559 Ugh, gosh, you don't know anything about the business. 591 00:25:22,605 --> 00:25:23,815 Oh, wait. That is way better. 592 00:25:23,857 --> 00:25:25,147 Either way, 593 00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:27,571 once in a millennia, a performance comes along 594 00:25:27,610 --> 00:25:28,900 that just... 595 00:25:28,945 --> 00:25:31,195 It captures the imagination of a generation. 596 00:25:31,239 --> 00:25:32,409 - And... - It's gone. 597 00:25:32,449 --> 00:25:35,079 - What? - From the story and the grid. 598 00:25:35,118 --> 00:25:37,118 For copyright infringement? 599 00:25:38,663 --> 00:25:41,173 "This video has been blocked because it contains content 600 00:25:41,207 --> 00:25:44,877 owned by Plumb Management and Junk Removal Services"? 601 00:25:44,919 --> 00:25:46,379 What? 602 00:25:46,421 --> 00:25:48,341 Freakin' Larry! 603 00:25:50,091 --> 00:25:51,931 - Oh! - Jesus! 604 00:25:51,968 --> 00:25:53,468 It was just there! 605 00:27:18,304 --> 00:27:20,144 - Good night, everybody. - Good night. 42187

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