All language subtitles for Bob Hearts Abishola s02e16 Sights and Bites.eng

Previously on
Bob Hearts Abishola...

Kaale,Mum.

[scoffs]
This is how you fold

the shirts?

When my mother sees this,

she will think I did not
raise you properly.

Excuse me?

You are going to Nigeria
this summer.

I am?

You will behave

and represent this family well.

You also call me every day.

Of course.

Before the plane takes off,
after it lands.

Before, during and after
every car trip.

Yes, Mum.

Your Auntie Fowoke
will love this blender.

I saw it on QVC.

It can chop concrete.

[chuckles]

This one's better than ours.

Of course it is. We don't
need something this nice.

But they do?
Yes.

So they see how well we
are doing in America.

We can show off with
expensive electronics

or successful doctor children.

UNCLE TUNDE:
So,

until you get
your medical license,

you will be our tiny pack mule.

A Nintendo Switch?

I asked for one for my birthday.

And you did not get it
because they are ridiculous.

But thank you
for your inspiration.

Don't forget the
computer for Adeloba

and the telescope.Ah. All packed.

And every kind
of American confectionary.

Where do I pack my stuff?

You will wear as
much of your clothing

as you can fit on your body.

We can shove his underwear
inside the blenders.

And put his T-shirts
around the champagne bottles

like Bubble Wrap.

["Ifanla" by Sola Akingbola
playing]

Hang on, just making
a little adjustment.

All right, smooth
the shoulders there. Okay.

You ready?

I've been ready,
now I'm annoyed.

All right, get out here,
get out here.

Ta-da!

No.I told you.

I thought you wanted
him to look nice.

It is too nice.

People will see him and
assume he's wealthy.

And then they will hear
his American accent

and know to take
all of his money.

Hey, I wear nice clothes
and have an American accent.

And in Nigeria,
you'd be ripe for the picking,

like an American plum.

Plum? The guy said
it was burgundy.

Here. Put this one on.

And when you come out,
don't look so fancy.

He's gonna be fine.

I know.

Look, he's got plenty
of family there.

They'll keep an eye on him.

But it is not my eye.

I know you're worried,
but at some point,

you got to throw
the bird from the nest.

And watch it drop to the ground
and be eaten by coyotes?

I was gonna say
so it could learn to fly.

I just wish I could keep track
of him while he's over there.

Well, then, do it.

Do what?
Track his phone.

I can do that?Yeah.

Why didn't you tell me
I could do that?

Show me. Show me now!

All right.

You're up here.
Bring it down...

What do you guys
think of this suit?

I love it.

It reminds me
of a big, juicy plum.

Why didn't you tell me
I look like fruit?

Bob, even I know you can't
call people that anymore.

Is Dele excited
for his trip?

Yeah. You should've seen him
all dressed up.

He's a little man now, you know?

Ready to venture out
into the world on his own.

Well, with his dad.

And his mom tracking him
like a FedEx package.

Good, 'cause the minute you
let 'em out of your sight,

that's when bad things happen.

You let me go to sleepaway camp.

And you came back a hippie.

You got off the bus,
handed me a dream catcher

and asked me who I voted for.

BOB:
She said "Reagan,"

and then tossed
the dream catcher

right out the car window.

You know who catches dreams?
Witches.

So you wouldn't let us go

to sleepaway camp because
Bob came back a Democrat?

And a witch. Listen, honey,

a mother's job is to control
her children's thoughts

for as long as she can.

I don't think
that's their job.

It's called love.

It's called codependence.

That's right, sweetie.
You can always codepend on me.

Hmm. Well, I have six
therapists and a psychic

who would agree with you.

Well, I'm glad Dele's
getting away from Abishola

for a little while. I think
it'll be good for both of them.

Did you tell Abishola that?

Ooh, God, no.

Dele's on the move.

Ah-- He's going
to the bathroom again.

How many breaks does he need?

Does he have a tiny bladder?

No.Then he is smoking.

I will sniff him thoroughly
when he gets home.

Isn't technology wonderful?

Look at us,
floating above him,

watching every
move he makes.

You used to have to be dead
to do that.

You gonna stalk
that little dot all day?

Yes.
Yes.

Oh, this is gonna be
a fun lunch.

Just don't let Dele find out.

I used to read
my daughter's diary.

She called me terrible things.

Then one day, she wrote how
kind and loving and wise I was.

It was then I knew my source
had been compromised.

With my kids, I always said,
"the less I know, the better."

I'm sorry, I thought
you loved your children.

I do.

And if I don't know
what they're up to,

I can keep loving them.

Wait, why is the dot
going in a circle?

Maybe he's running track.

Oh, yes.

Why is he moving so slow?

Does he have a problem
with his feet?

No.Then it is the smoking.

I appreciate you guys
helping me out.

I'm making a little guidebook
for Dele while he's in Lagos.

GOODWIN:
Of course.

We will be
your guidebook guides.[chuckles]

Why am I here?

Yes, why are you here?

You know what?
I'll just have a muffin

and chime in
when it seems appropriate.

What is in this guidebook?

You know, things to see,
places to eat.

Just stuff I think he'd like.

If you don't mind me
saying, Mr. Wheeler,

I think that is very reterete.

Silly?

Adorable.

Hey, knock it off.

I think it is
wonderful you are

trying to connect
with your stepson.

Eh, it's just a little gesture.

He's always been reterete.

When I was a kid,
he would make up bedtime stories

about me and my pet dinosaur.

Terry the T. rex.

BOTH:
Aw.

See? Reterete.

Quit smiling at me like that.

Is this Awolowo Road?

Yeah, I was using Google Street
View to pretend like Dele and I

were walking around the
neighborhood together.

I'm doing it again. Sorry.

Don't you dare apologize
for your beautiful heart.

When you said something
was wrong with Dele,

I thought he was hurt.

Oh, he will be
when I find him.

Turn here.

You know, that tracking
thing is supposed to be

more of a tool than a weapon.

He said he had
dance practice after school.

Instead he is at the park
and his dot is not dancing.

I'm just saying, you
go looking for trouble,

you might find it.

There he is. Pull over.

BOB:
See? He's studying.

Okay, he's studying
with a friend.

Okay, they're kissing
before they study.

[horn honking]

Dele! She's coming!

She's just a friend.

It was the first time we kissed.

O-Okay, it wasn't
our first kiss.

But-but she's
a straight-A student.

A-And so am I.

I never get in trouble
at school,

I always do what I'm told,

but I barely get to see
any of my friends.

Please, Mum.

I'm sorry. I just wanted
to say goodbye to her

before I go away for the summer.

Yell at me, disown me,
please just say something.

Straight A's, huh?

She's smart, like your mom.

[chuckles]Sorry.

The boy is an amateur.

It only took moments
of interrogation

before Dele sang like a canary.

What did he say?

The girl's name is Mary.

14. Capricorn.

Other than the park,

the majority of
their correspondence was

via something called TikTok.What?

TikTok--
known for short dance videos.

Oh, you should see them.

They're very fun.

How far have things gone
between them?

Ask him if
there's been more

than kissing and canoodling.

I'll see what other songs
this little birdie knows.

Are you sure you don't want
to talk to him yourself?

I will not give him
the satisfaction.

Yelling at him is exactly
what he wants.

I don't know if that's exactly
what he wants.

Is it really worth it

to fight with him
right before he goes to Nigeria?

He is not going to Nigeria.

Ah! You cannot cancel
the trip.

Blenders have been promised.

He does not
deserve to go.

Do not punish our relatives
because the boy is promiscuous.

It was just a kiss.

Because we stopped it.

Otherwise, we would be dealing
with a teenage pregnancy.

Would we?Yes!

And he would have to
drop out of school

and never become a doctor!

How will he support his family
without a good job?

What family?

His wife and the
three children

he got from kissing her.

[scoffs]And you know who

will have to take care
of the children, Bob?

You?

Yes! And I'll
be so busy

taking care of my
own grandchildren,

I will never
become a doctor.

Ah.
If all that happens,

I'll watch the kids.
No.

You have to keep
the sock business going

so that Dele and all
his children can have jobs.

Ah!

It's been going on
for two months.

How could I not see it?

It is understandable.

Many things have changed.

You now have a fiancé.

You're studying to
become a doctor.

You've forgotten some of
your Nigerian values.

I have not forgotten.

I've always been very strict
with Dele.

And yet this is the second time
he has deceived you.

Before with his dancing,

and now with his
romantic rendezvous.

As soon as I discovered
the dancing,

I should have sent him home,

instead of trying to do things
the American way.

Hmm. And now your son is
having his "American way"

with a strange girl
in the park.

Well, maybe it's
the right thing for Dele

to be in Nigeria
with his father.

Hmm. When my eldest son
started disobeying me,

I sent him back home to live
with his grandfather.

And after those two years
of good discipline,

he came back focused
and unrecognizable.

Isn't that the son
that hardly talks to you?

Yes, he blocks my calls,

but he's a successful lawyer,
and that is what matters.

Meanwhile, I never sent
my daughter to Nigeria,

and now she's in a band.

She's in the L.A. Philharmonic.

Okay, a large band.

This is very nice.

Yeah, some people's happy place
is a beach.

Ours is a laundromat.

Thank you for showing up
and sweeping me

and my dirty towels
off our feet.[chuckles]

Hey, you mind if I work

on this little project
I'm putting together?

Go ahead.

It's for Dele.Okay.

Just writing down some sights
and bites he should check out

while he's in Nigeria.

See?
"Sights and Bites."

That's very nice of you.

Yeah. Was hoping to get some
personal stories in here, too.

You know, from someone
who grew up there,

knows the lay of the land,

is related to him.

You could ask Uncle Tunde.

Right.

I kind of thought
you might want to do it.

I will not give Dele
the satisfaction

of hearing such
things from me.

Okay, sure.

I understand your position.

But he is gonna be 6,000 miles

away from his home.

Is that why you
brought me here?

To try to get me
to talk to Dele?

No. Absolutely not.

You have your cold,
scary silent thing,

and I have
my retereteguidebook thing.

Okay, I'm shutting up.

That restaurant is closed.

Good to know.

E kaale,Uncle.

Kaale,Tayo.

I will see
if Dele is ready.

Oh, thank you.

Tayo.

Bob.

When you land,
how long is the drive home

from the airport?

Uh, with traffic,
about 40 minutes.

You taking the Apapa-Oworonshoki
Expressway?

Probably.

Yeah, that time of night,
that's your best bet.

Hey, Dad.
Hey.

[chuckles]

Remember, the order
people receive the gifts

is as important
as the gifts themselves.

Uncle Morayo,
Uncle Poju,

Auntie Fowoke,
Auntie Ifede,

Cousin Yemisi
and Cousin Adeloba.

You forgot Granny Ebun.

Hers is the most important one.

Uh, when in doubt,
ask yourself who is oldest.

The less teeth they have,
the more they need

a top-of-the-line blender.

Hey, bud.

Have a great trip.

Uh, I made a little something
for you.

Use it, don't use it.

It's no big deal.

If you don't want to read it,
it's fine.

No, I'd like to. Thank you.

I'm gonna miss you.

Me, too, buddy.

Okay, someone else go.

You know what, Tayo?

I'll help you get
those bags to the car.

Thank you, Bob.

It is too much for
the two of you to carry alone.

I will supervise.

[door closes]

Goodbye, Mum.

Be safe.

Yes, Mum.

And, Dele...

I will be watching
everything you do.

BOB:
Okay, buddy.

First off, it's important
you understand

the five-burger rating system.

It's like the star system,
but we're using burgers.

All right,
you're gonna think I'm crazy,

but from what I've read, I give
the Hard Rock Cafe in Lagos

a five out of five burgers.

ABISHOLA:
Dele, it is Mommy.

Bob showed me
his "Sights and Bites" book.

He is very pleased
with the rhyming title.

But there are some things
he missed.

If you want peace and quiet,

there's a large jacaranda tree
in Granny's backyard.

I used to read there.

You can climb it
and see everything,

but no one can see you.

I always wanted to be the one
to take you to Nigeria,

but I'm looking forward
to seeing my home

through your eyes.

Even though I am not with you,

I will be in your heart,

as you will be in mine.

Dele's plane landed
45 minutes ago.

Why is his phone still
at the airport?

What if the luggage
did not arrive?

Oluwa mi o.
Without the gifts,

we will never be welcomed
back in Nigeria.

Uh, don't assume the worst.

Maybe they are just stopping
at the suya stand

outside the airport.

You like that stand?

Oh, the best in the city.

If you're a tourist.

If you want the real stuff,
you got to go to Ikoyi.

Really?I'll get you a copy
of my book,

"Sights and Bites."Oh...

I love that rhyme.Right?

[both chuckling]

[yawns]

It's getting late.

We can continue spying on him
first thing in the morning.

Good night, you guys.Good night.

Maybe just a little bit more.

Yeah, I mean,
what's it gonna hurt?

Why not?We got to.

We're already here.

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