All language subtitles for The Magicians - 03x04 - Be The Penny

Previously, on "The Magicians"...

Q, I think this is it.

The Tale of the Seven Keys.

Jules, this is our quest.

Was there always a keyhole right there?

The eye can never be fixed.

But you can't spy on me anymore.

You have a week's sail
back to Whitespire

to think about what you've done.

Alice!

I'm sorry.
You called me too late.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. He can't.

No, come on, Pen. Don't, don't, come on.

Oh, no.
Shit !

What the fuck is happening?

We have to do something.

Do something!

Kady.

Kady, he's gone.

No.

K... Kady. Kady, I'm right...

You need to hear me.

I was astral projecting.

I wasn't in my body when I died...
it died.

Damn it!

Damn it.

Damn it!

Q. Hey.

Hey, I, uh... What's wrong?

Um... it's... It's Penny.

Oh, come on.

I'm sorry. Do you ever have, like,

an inappropriate emotional
response that you just can't...

Um...

Why is nobody crying?

I saved all your asses so many times.

Appreciate me!

Well, I suppose someone
should say some words.

Yes?

Okay, um, yeah.

We're here today to remember the life

of a friend and student.

Uh, William Penny Adi...

Adi... Uh...

I don't really know how to
pronounce his last name.

It's Adiyodi. Idiot.

Penny was complicated.

And I... I, uh, think
he probably hated me.

But, um...

None of us really knew him.

Not even me.

That's how he wanted it.

So, uh...

All I can really say is, uh...

I am so screwed.

The Magicians
03x04 - Be The Penny
Original Air Date - January 31, 2018

Okay, come on.

Damn it.

Yo.

Bodi, you down there?

Shep!

I found one of them soft ones you like.

Don't burn it.

Oh, the vellum feels nice on my ass.

No, no, no, no, no. I need that.

I got a surprise for you, too.

Fresh meat upstairs.

What's it been?

Two weeks since we
caught the Librarian?

Not much left but gristle.

You ate a Librarian?

Hi, there.

- Eliot?
- Hello, kind strangers.

We were hoping to warm
ourselves by your fire.

That's a bad move, Eliot.

What brought you to the Neitherlands?

Family vacation.

No, I mean...

We got here using magic beans.

- We used a magic key.
- Right.

But there's no magic now, so, um...
so we're stuck.

- Like you?
- That's right.

Fountains are all frozen over.

We haven't eaten in days.

Right, um...

If you had a... an extra
sandwich or something...

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

- Have a seat.
- Oh, thank you.

No, no, no. No, Eliot, don't!
They're cannibals!

Oh, God.

- Thank you.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, that's... don't eat that.

No, don't eat that, please.

You're eating a dude!
Mmm, it's not bad.

Oh, man, seriously, fuck this place!

I can't believe that he's gone.

I mean, we were never really that close.

But I don't know, I...

I loved him, I think.

It's just... how come
you never really know

how much you care about
somebody until they're gone?

I remember he used to let me
ride around on his shoulders.

Hmm. What?

I loved that.

Were you close with your dad?

Oh... For fucks sake.

I saw him a few weeks ago.

It's crazy.

Um... the cancer that he had

was sort of... inherently magical,

so magic went away, and...

He's, like, in remission.

Sorry. I didn't mean to, um...

No, it's good. It's good.

it's the one good thing
to come out of this.

I didn't know when I was
gonna see you again.

I had nowhere else to go.

After the burial, I can't be
in the same room as my mom.

I mean, we could use your help.

Finding these keys,
bringing magic back...

Honestly, I don't think we should.

Okay, I don't really know
where to begin with that.

But, I mean, for starters, I mean,

this is... this is our quest.

I sort of feel like we were elected.

It's magic. Jesus, Alice, I...

You turn it back on, what
happens to your dad?

Sometimes I want magic
back more than anything.

And sometimes I just...

I look around and... and see
what a mess we made with it.

Right now I just wanna be 23,

and not know what I want, and
not know what I'm doing.

Yeah.

Oh, God.

I just remembered, I have to tell

Eliot and Margo about Penny.

How? Aren't they in Fillory?

What are you doing?

That was super weird.

Your Majesty, if you would prefer,

we can put into harbor at,
uh, Broken Bay instead.

When did you get this sweet boat?

Man.

I miss all the cool shit.

We don't have a choice.

If we sail anywhere
other than Whitespire,

the Fairy Queen will fly in on the
back of some whimsical animal,

and she'll slit our throats, or worse.

A messenger bunny, Your Majesty.

Penny's dead. Sorry.

Penny's dead?

Was he not already?

What?

- I can't believe it.
- Thank you.

finally!

He was my best friend.

Okay, I mean, all right.

I guess I always thought
someday we were gonna bang.

Me, too, girl. Me, too.

You know, I... I thought
we'd have normal problems.

Like, I'd look at other
girls, and you'd get mad.

Or you'd tell me a story
for the third time,

and we'd realize we have
nothing left to say.

But we don't get normal problems.

I know what you're looking for. Don't.

This is stupid.

What do you think this is gonna solve?

You can't hear a word I say.

There is no point in me staying
here and watching you suffer

if I can't do a damn
thing about it, so...

I'm gonna go.

Try and find some way to fix this.

Goodbye, Kady.

Julia.

Help her. Now.

- What?
- The hell?

You're the only one who can.

What? What... what happened?

Oh fuck...

- Jesus.
- Kady!

- Kady, come on!
- Um...

Kady...

Come on!

Come on. Please, Kady.

Wake up.

Okay. Okay.

Okay, baby.

Okay.

Holy shit, that was gross.

What?

You... you can see me?

You can see me?

Hey, what's your deal?

Sorry.

It's just, you're talking to me,

and not through me, and that's...
that's kind of huge, Penny.

How do you know my name?

Well, I've been watching you and
your friends since you got here.

I'm Hyman. Cooper.

- Hyman?
- Mmm-hmm.

Did that mean something
different when you were born?

Wait, you... you haven't heard of me?

The Pervert Ghost of Brakebills?

I was a student here in the 1920s.

A Traveler, like you.

I would practice Astral
Projection around the campus.

You know, pop into
lectures, the dormitories,

uh, showers, you know how it is.

- Uh, no.
- And as a prank,

someone moved my body while I was...

Being a fucking pervert!

And, yes, in their defense,
I was given several warnings.

But I never found my body.

You can't cast a locator spell
without actual fingers, so...

it must have died without me in it.

- That's a bummer.
- Well, joke's on them.

'Cause now I'm a ghost.

So it's all peeping, all the time.

You know you're not a ghost, right?

Wha... I'm not?

You were on the Astral
Plane when you died.

So was I.

Our minds were traveling.

Now they have no place to go back to.

Look, ghosts have some
unresolved shit in this world,

so they relive their
death over and over.

Are you doing that?

People can see ghosts.

Ghosts can touch things.

I know, 'cause I've been
touched by a ghost, Hyman,

and it wasn't great. We can't do that.

Okay, Professor, then how
come I can sit in a chair?

Why... why am I not
just falling forever?

I don't know. I don't make the rules.
Your ass just knows.

Look, didn't you... didn't
you figure all this shit out

100 years ago when you died?

I mean, haven't you
communicated with anyone?

I mean, tried to get a message
out that you're alive... ish?

Believe me, I tried everything.

For years.

It did not end well.

- What do you mean, it didn't end...
- Shh. Shut up.

Shut up.

- Hey.
- Hey.

How's Kady?

Sleeping it off in the infirmary.

How did you know to knock down her door?

- Just a feeling.
- Okay.

They're my favorite pairing.

The... the tension between them.

Friends for years,
but he's always loved her.

You're in a bit of a
research K-Hole here, huh?

- Mm, yeah.
- It's cool.

It just reminds me of me.

So, the second key...
So, the knight's daughter,

she found it in a sentient cave

that just kept asking her riddles,

and wouldn't let her in
until it deemed her worthy.

- It was very patronizing.
- Wait. Why does that sound familiar?

Because Rupert Chatwin
found the same cave

in the first Fillory book,
"The World in the Walls."

He was being chased
by a belligerent cassowary.

- I remember.
- Right.

Um, so he finds this
mountain of treasure,

uh, but only takes one item.

A golden key.

- To bring to his friend.
- Right, that he met during the war.

So, look, if this story is real,

and he actually did give him
the key, then I... I...

Jules, I think the key is here on Earth.

Seriously?

These two?

You and Kady are great.

I totally ship that.

Alice is okay.

She's a bit of a Mrs. Grundy.

- You know?
- I don't get that reference.

Oh, Josh is my idol.

That man is a Vagician.

But Quentin, I mean,

the outsider let into the inner
sanctum of secret knowledge.

As someone born in 1902,

I find a heterosexual white
male hero very relatable.

Anyway, Quentin is the duck's nuts.

No, that cannot be a
real thing people said.

So we should send a message to Eliot.

Shit. Eliot.

Oh, my God. Oh!

Cannibals! They're cannibals!

- I told you!
- Oh... oh, my God.

They made me...

eat a person.

We should make a deal with them.

No.

You can't negotiate with cannibals.

You can't give them what they want.

- Well, can't we?
- No!

You're grounded.

We need to find a way out of here.

On the Muntjac, the Key created a door

out of nowhere when we needed it.

I don't see any doors or
places a door could be.

Downstairs in the Library!

You lied about the key.

They lied first.

I couldn't risk them
taking the key from us.

No, you lied to me.

You were never collecting taxes.

Uh, can we have this talk when we're
not being hunted by cannibals?

What is the key for?

- Fray!
- What does it really do?

It doesn't fucking matter
if we can't find a door.

Wait, there are doors all over
the downstairs of the Library.

No shit!

I think that cannibal's sitting
on the only entry point.

Wait, they're coming!

Run, run, run!

Slow down!

I have wooden toes!

Go, go, go, go, go, go.

Hyman, where have you been?

I went with them to solve the
mystery of Rupert's golden key.

Who cares?

If they find all seven keys, Penny,

then...

something good happens?

I missed a bit.

So the seven keys

from the story unlock magic?

Oh, that's...

We think that Rupert Chatwin
brought one back to Earth

and gave it to an American
soldier that he served with

in World War II.

His name was Lance Morrison.

And it turns out that after the war,

Lance went to a magic school.

- Breakbills.
- Right.

So if there are any records
from the late 1940s,

maybe that can help us find the key.

My assistant's file
cabinet, bottom drawer.

Thank you.

- Pardon the interruption.
- Can I help you?

Wait a minute. I know that guy.

I certainly hope you can.

I'm here on behalf of the Order.

At the Library formerly
headquartered in the Neitherlands?

We need to talk about Penny.

Sorry to be blunt, but did
Penny die a traumatic death?

Dean Fogg said you were the one to ask.

Yes, it was traumatic.

That explains it.

Penny signed a contract with The Order,

guaranteeing his services in
this life and, well, beyond.

Curiously, his soul never reported for
service to our Underworld branch.

- Then where is he?
- I'm right here.

Likely in the process of
becoming a vengeful spirit.

Best to nip that in the bud
before his time is up.

What do you mean?

The soul is tethered to the body
for seven days after death.

We can use that tether to yank
Penny's soul out from wherever

and send him on his way.

- How?
- Eat him, naturally.

Oh, sweetheart, I'm not gonna eat him.

I'm a pescatarian.

The Order has retained the
services of a Corpse Eater

- for situations such as this.
- Whoa whoa whoa,
no one is eating my body, okay?

I'm not fucking done with it yet.

Kind of a ticking clock on this.

If the tether goes before Penny's
soul passes on, he's right fucked.

The Corpse Eater needs
a tick to prepare.

She'll be here tomorrow at sundown.

Oh, and...you're welcome.

The ghost children at the
Plover house couldn't be saved.

But Penny still has his tether.

I'm not a ghost!

If he's a ghost, shouldn't he be,

I don't... I don't know, haunting us?

What if something else happened?

Yes, something else did happen!

It can take decades for a spirit
to become malevolent.

Corpse Eaters are a rare creature.

If the Librarians actually have one,

not just some sicko
who wants a free meal,

you should use it.

But what if there's a way to fix him?

To bring him back?

Without magic?

Julia has magic.

Okay, not much, but I...

It's just, I... I... I
can't wrap my head around

sending him to work for the
Library for a billion years.

I don't trust them.

There you go. Come on, Kady.

The Underworld's not so bad.

Quentin says there's a bowling alley.

And a billion years surrounded
by books sounds like Heaven.

Damn it, Alice.

I thought we were bros.

Aah, let go, let go, let go!

My God!

I was only trying to follow the story.

No, what Julia does in
the bath is not story!

It is revealing... of character.

Listen, I need to talk
to Kady somehow today.

Okay?

Now, I don't give a shit if it
didn't end well for you in the past.

You are going to help me.

Or I will cock block you
for the rest of time.

Okay.

When I first got stuck
in the Astral Plane,

I spent months trying to push things.

I never got anywhere.

Until I tried being the thing.

Okay, focus on a penny.

Ha ha, get it? 'Cause of your name?

You get it.

Now, you're not gonna
try to move the penny.

You're gonna try to be it.

So... so pour yourself into its shape.

Inhabit it with your whole being.

Go ahead.

Be the penny. Okay.

I got this.

Be the penny.

_

Just be the goddamn penny!

- Penny, just be it!
- What does that even mean?

You're getting confused
by the whole Penny thing.

Maybe we should have
started with a nickel.

- Wha... - Huh?
- Be the nickel!

Maybe you shouldn't say
the same dumb shit

over and over! Oh!

I'm sorry, but you're a dullard!

A real dunce, I say!

You are worth less than a penny,

and a penny is worthless!

Um...

This is weird.

You are the Penny.

What do I do now? I can't move.

Well, how could you? You
don't have any feet.

What are you... what are you doing?

It sounds like you're pooping.

Holy zerts! You did it!

I still have the taste
of pennies in my mouth.

Wait, why... why don't I...

Why don't I just project
myself into my own body?

I know how to be that.

The only reason you're still alive

is because you were Astral
Projecting when you died.

So if you go back into your corpse,

you'll just be... dead.

I need something bigger.

I need something that can talk.

Yeah, uh, hey, be careful.

Controlling things with
brains is much harder.

Be the bunny.

Be the bunny.

- Be the bunny.
- It won't work.

Fairy Queen bitch
thinks she can break me

with a few days' time out
on Eliot's party boat?

Your Majesty, upon our
return to Whitespire,

might I suggest a hot
bath to relax yourself?

I can't, because that chalky
twat won't get out of my tub.

I keep waiting for Eliot to come back.

But maybe he never will.

That bunny I sent him
was returned to sender.

For all I know, he's dead.

And him and Penny are blowing
each other in Heaven.

Now, when I get back...

I'm gonna fix this.

Benedict, you're gonna
round up the guards.

Tick, you're gonna go to
that fairy-repelling hallway

and you're gonna grind one
of those bricks to dust.

You're gonna put it in the
Fairy Queen's bath...

and when that knocks her on her ass...

I'm gonna cut out her heart and eat it

in front of every goddamn
Fairy asshole in the Kingdom.

Damn. Girl, you get shit done.

Ughh...

And I thought Hyman was a perv.

Be the Margolem.

Be the Margolem.

Uh, um, um, announcement.

You guys remember the Margolem?

Margo's doppelganger
made of living clay?

Since Margo's been gone,
I've been storing it.

You know, for safekeeping?

Eww.

That's problematic.

It's not like that. I just dress her
up and pretend she respects me.

Anyways, she's been out of
commission since magic died, only...

She woke up.

I told you it wouldn't end well.

You know, I wish you weren't dead

so I could kill you.

So, this Margolem must've had

some residual magic left in her.

Or the living clay she was made
of was a magical creature?

Uh, anyway, while we have you here,

we found Lance Morrison's
Breakbill records.

Um, it says that he was only
a student for a semester.

But it also says in this file that
he left because of a "code seven."

Student suicide.

Or he magically exploded.

I don't know why they use the
same damn code for both.

Okay, either way, he died on campus.

So the key might still be here, right?

But it says he was
living in the West Dorm,

- and there is no such thing, so...
- That's because it's buried.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

In the late 1940s, there was
a haunting in the West Dorm.

At the time, it was considered bad
form to have a ghost on campus.

Unlike today, where we put
it in the goddamn brochure.

"That ghost" is gonna kill them.

To death, Penny.

So, the Dean buried the whole dorm.

Magically protected the entrances
so that students couldn't find it.

But magic is gone. So
we can walk right in.

Right?

What are you gonna do?

Nothing.

It's not my problem.

- They're your friends.
- Who I can't help in any way.

You go figure some shit out.

I'm not going down there.

What are you scared of?

You're dead already.

You're so dumb, Penny.

Ghosts can hurt whatever it is we are.

That one in the West dorm?

Terrorized me for a week.

Wait a minute.

If they can hurt us, then...
then they can see us.

Hey. Q.

All right.

Um, excuse me.

Lance Morrison?

Who are you?

Did my father send you? You can tell
him I am not coming home for winter.

Hey, ghost boy.

We need to talk.

You need to tell them that Penny

- is in the room with them.
- What are you talking about?

- Well...
- No, I am not a bitch!

- Well, we don't think that.
- Right, no, of course.

Do you know anything about a golden key

that maybe your friend
Rupert Chatwin gave you?

Rupert?

This place is quite something.

Nothing compared to where you've been.

He's in a ghost loop.
He's not even listening to us.

I brought you something.

From Fillory. Here.

Take it.

It won't hurt. It just reveals
the honest truth of things.

Shows them as they truly are.

I see.

Damn it, Hyman.

This isn't terrifying.
It's just two dudes kissing.

You homophobic pussy.

Lance Morrison.

You've been speaking out of turn
about your mother's family.

You have sullied the McAllistair name.

- All I did was tell the truth.
- Truth can bury us.

It's the key.

It's ruined everything.

Hi, I'm sorry to interrupt
this little father-son moment,

but could someone please
just say the words,

"Penny is in the room"?

- Say it isn't true.
- Okay.

You can't control yourself.

Don't blame the key for your perversion.

Whoa, dude!

Whoa!

The key's in the dad's pocket.

I think he just...

Oh, shit.

I tried being nice.
You will say my name.

You say my name, you ghost dick!

What is your name?

That's not a name!

No, it isn't!

No, it isn't!

Uh, Q?

I think we might have broken this ride.

No!

The Library has a Corpse Eater that
can help take him to the Underworld.

What's she saying?

What... What..., stop signing!

- Burn his body.
- Burn his body?

Oh, hell no.

Then he'll be stuck there for eternity,

turning into a ghost, or... or worse.

She says, "Better than a slave
"to the people who killed him.

For a billion years."

Am I the only one
that knows that eternity

is a lot longer than a billion years?

Lance said his mom was a McAllistair.

Well, that would explain
how he got into Brakebills.

The McAllistairs are on
the Board of Trustees.

They're one of the oldest
magical families in America.

Lance's father held the key. I mean,
he knew how powerful it was.

That it would reveal truth.
It would show things that were hidden.

So, he would have kept it.

Except that he would
have died by now, so...

Wait, could you get us into that house?

Maybe.

Irene McAllistair's been
calling me every day

looking for a lead on magic.

Perhaps if we could give her
something that she really wants.

Hey, have you been paying attention
to Quentin's stupid key thing?

- Have I?
- Yeah, great, shut up.

The ghost said it has the power
to reveal things that are hidden.

I'm a hidden thing.

Twist.

Okay, tonight it'll be
seven days since I died.

If I don't contact Kady today,

she is either gonna burn my corpse,

or worse, give it to the Library.

I'm not getting eaten.

You know, Q said Eliot already
found one of those keys.

Okay, simple plan.

We use the key to make a
Shadow Bat monster illusion

like that priest did on that island.

We scare away the bad men,
we get to a book chute,

we find a door, and we get the hell out.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Please tell me you can see me.

- Jesus.
- Holy moly.

What have I done?

Eliot, what the hell are you wearing?

Hi... Dad.

Hi, Dad.

This is your father?
Hi, Grandpa.

What is with everyone and
their daddy issues today?

Dressed like that,
everyone's gonna know

you haven't worked a day in your life.

- It's just an illusion.
- I didn't think you could make

a sailor's uniform look gayer.

- My God.
- It's just an illusion.

Eliot, you might be the only person
in the multiverse more fucked than me.

You're just an illusion.

I wish I could help.

- Henry.
- How are you?

Oh, it is so good to see you!

I was so happy when you called.

Yeah. Irene, these are my students.

Nice to meet you. It's a pleasure.
Come on in.

Okay, there's some real
"Beauty and the Beast"

kind of stuff happening here.

I don't understand.
How is that possible?

Well, the house's enchantments run

on a reserve of energy that my
father built up over decades.

When he was a child, there was a
blackout that lasted for months.

So he wanted to be prepared.

Please, come. Follow me.

Unfortunately, they won't last.

Most of the enchantments
have failed already.

Which is why I was so intrigued
by your call, Henry.

Would you like a martini?

Martini!

Um, can I get an olive in mine, please?

Thank you.

Thank you.

So, which one of you can do magic?

Um...

Well, I, um...

So, before I knew about magic,
real magic,

I... I used to do a lot of
sleight of hand tricks.

So, it turns out that I
wasn't very good at it.

Um, I was cheating, um, by
using translocation spells

without really knowing it.

Uh, I don't know why, but, um,
those tricks still work.

Or you have a squished
olive in your pocket.

Fascinating.

Not at all useful, but, uh...

I can do more.

Um, do you have a deck of cards?

Uh, excuse me.

Where's your restroom?

Holy shit.

I'm sorry, Penny.

It's been six and a half days.

Time's up.

Come on.

Come on, find it!

Come on!

Damn it.

Kady, wait.

I just need more time.

It's not too late.

Corpse Eater'll be here any minute.

Honestly, why do you care?

He was my friend.

He wasn't one of you.

You're right. I barely knew Penny.

I don't know where he was from,
I don't know about his family,

I don't know...
I don't know how he found magic.

But I know what it's like to be trapped

and to totally lose control
of yourself and your life.

But in the Underworld,

he still gets to be Penny.

Dammit, Alice, I'm still me.

It took everything I had

to try to save his life.

And then...

he died anyway.

And then, I... and then I was relieved.

To be done.

If Penny was here...

If he could tell us what he wanted...

But he's not.

Okay, look, they're both terrible options,

but if I had to choose,
please don't send me to the Underworld.

I know you don't want the responsibility.

So don't take it.

Let me.

No, Kady, please.

Be the candle.

Be the candle.

I'll go get the Corpse Eater.

Penny...

That's uncomfortable to hold

makes me feel like.

I don't know, like I'm not really myself.

Okay, then I will...

pass on touching it.

Oh, uh, I checked the book.

Uh, so, you unlocked chapter three.

Um, and it looks like the...
the next key

might be in Fillary, maybe.

Um...

Dean Fogg.

Morning.

Yeah. It is the morning.

Irene sent her apologies.

Our little show did not
convince her last night.

We're out of time.
As of this morning,

the Board of Directors
put Breakbills up for sale.

The school will be closed.

I'm out of a job.

And I'd say you're evicted, but...

I have no idea who
actually owns this building.

Uh, Quentin, is this Scotch or Rye?

- Uh, Rum.
- Excellent.

Well, carry on.

I'm going to go lie down.

Well, look at it this way.

Uh, now we've both been kicked
out of Breakbills, so...

we've got that in common.

Holy shit!

- Thank Christ.
- Eliot?

- Hey.
- How did you...

Hey.

Can I please have some water?

- Yeah, sure.
- Sparkling, please.

Gather 'round.

Story time with Uncle Eliot.

This story is called...

"Eliot did nothing wrong but
was chased by cannibals

through the befucked Neitherlands anyway."

Sorry, who's this?

Oh, right, yeah. Meet Fray.

Our daughter.

I'm sorr... your... Wait, your daughter?

Please, hold your questions till the end.

So, the cannibals blocked
our only point of egress.

Naturally, I resolved to use the key,

which, in Fillory, created
illusions of a terrifying monster.

- He made his father instead.
- No spoilers.

But, yeah, what she said.

Turns out the key creates
illusions of what you most fear.

Hence...

My dad.

I told my father that the guys in the tent

didn't know the difference
between a tractor and a backhoe.

So he went to set them straight.

You saying you... you fed your...

your dad to cannibals?

An illusion of him. But yes.

It was very cathartic.

There was lots of screaming
on both sides.

But we snuck right past them.

We found a key, too.

- Oh.
- Um...

We've been...
We've been calling it the truth key

'cause it... well, it reveals truths.

- Truths.
- I can handle a little truth.

I don't know.

I don't see anything.

Maybe it doesn't work on me.

- Oh, hey, Penny.
- Wait!...